S2E9: Butt Wait, There's More! A Douching Dialogue with @ThatGayDoctor and Jonah Wheeler

Hold onto your nozzles, babes — this week’s episode of Feralationship is all about douching: the myths, the mishaps, and the medical receipts. Pete and Bisq-it are diving deep (yes, that deep) and demystifying douching with special guests Dr. Jon (aka @thatgaydoctor) and porn star Jonah Wheeler (@showoffjonah), serving up real talk for a healthy hole with just the right amount of unhinged storytelling.

We’re unpacking everything from festival clean-outs and porta-potty prep to the actual science behind anal and vaginal douching (remember this: Easy-Bake Oven). Expect discussions on fiber, fissures, and how much time you really spend douching over a lifetime (yes, there’s math).

So whether you’re a one-and-done queen or a multi-rinse marathoner, this episode has something for every hole. Come for the jokes, stay for the STI prevention tips, and leave a little smarter — and maybe a little cleaner.

Knowledge is POWER! So power-up your prep with the douching infographic guide Jonah mentions in this episode, available at the link here: howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I got. Something now to get the people
on the floor. All right, hello to our new and
returning feral friends to fair relationship.
I'm Pete. And I'm a biscuit.
And we're just so excited to have you.
Yeah, so damn true. Biscuit, how the fuck are you

(00:21):
doing? You know, girl, she's all right.
Yeah, she's all right. She's all right.
There it is. Starting.
Out early. Yeah, you know, this past
weekend we SBC had a birthday, yes.
And girl did we get we got double Ferrell.
We had a double header. Yep, Yep.

(00:41):
Where? Some of us may have gotten some
head. Yeah.
OK. But it, I mean, I got to say,
sometimes being feral is a marathon.
It's not a Sprint. Yep.
You know. But I do feel in Biscuit, you
know this about me. I struggle with stopping.
Yeah. I don't know when to end.
Why? You've got momentum.
Yep. Why would you want to stop that

(01:02):
training? Correct.
No, ma'am, correct. So the double headers, they
really, they really take it out of you really.
Take it out of you. Yeah, it's true.
You know, it's like, and just like a marathon, it usually
takes several days to recover after.
Right. Just you lost all happiness in
the world. Done you.
You spent all of your happiness.You front loaded that shit.
What is it? I?

(01:22):
I always joke and I'm like the years that I took off of my life
after this weekend. I don't want to know, but I know
that I did. Yeah, it's like smoking
cigarettes accepted popping pills like.
OK, but I will say quick little side quest here.
I love because I don't vape. I don't smell like that's just
not I'm just not into it Like this is not my thing.
I've plenty of other vices but Ilove throwing in my friends

(01:46):
faces that they do vape and I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna
live. I'm gonna outlive all of you
'cause you all hit your vape non-stop.
I don't. See, I I get the whole people
that do nicotine at that, that I'm like I sure power tone.
Yeah, I have done the like just it's like flavored vapor.
It's just I'm like that's just anormal fixation.

(02:08):
Biscuit likes to have something in his mouth.
Yeah, all the time. Fair.
There's, you know, surely, But Ithink it's no news that Biscuit
likes things in his mouth, so perhaps it's time for us just to
go ahead and move on. Yeah, I'm just going to shut the
fuck up. Put her on.
Open up the feral faucet. Yep, light up the stove.
Get that bitch going. And I can't wait to tell you

(02:29):
about something that happened a couple weekends ago that I think
that you're just going to gag over.
I can't wait. Perfect.
Let's do it. Here we go.
OK, Biscuit. So I have to tell you, I can't
wait to tell you about this. I'm I'm waiting.
So I had a friend's going away party ton of fun.
Like we went and saw a DJ set like that's what the end, you

(02:52):
know, end goal was of the of of the of the going away.
But we had a pregame. Cute, amazing.
Best practice? Of course, yeah.
Biscuit, when I tell you I was gagged at the we'll just call it
a party favor when I got there. OK, So I walk in, there's a big
group of people having a great time, and the host, the person
who's moving, is like, you have to come over here.

(03:13):
So I get taken into the kitchen,past all like the snacks and
drinks and mixers and what have you.
And I go over to the corner and there is this massive
charcuterie board. Oh, we love a good board.
Right, but not of like cheeses, meats, fruits of party favors.
Stop. Oh my God.
And not only part like they had,like they were all labeled.

(03:35):
There were little spoons. There were, I don't think that
they sell them anymore, but McDonald's used to have, I think
it was with their coffees. There were these little tiny
spoons. Yes.
They had a couple of those that I don't think they make anymore,
so that is an antique. Yes.
But I was shook to my core girl.I was like Oh my gosh, First
off, expensive, 2nd off. I love this is great.

(03:58):
I'm home. Yeah.
I mean, that is A1 very giving host.
Very giving host. God bless them two.
I'm just imagining like somebodywriting out like flavor
profiles. 100% yes, yes, the group of us, we were like, oh,
I'd like to taste this. Oh yes, it goes down very well.
I got. Hints of yes, gasoline paint

(04:23):
center like whatever it might. Be and the group of friends that
are a little bit tighter, they were saying that this was
something that came up during like lockdown, right where no
one was going anywhere doing anything.
You had your pods and that somebody like just had like
within their pod that they just like brought out the charcuterie
board of the stuff and like it just was a hit obviously, so
they had to bring it back for his going away.
And I loved it was so funny. It was so cute because all the

(04:46):
little the like labels were justlike handwritten.
The bowls were really cute. Like it was very it was very
well executed. They took Calligraphy class.
With the like. Stock markers.
Yeah. Oh my God, yes.
Oh, my fucking God. I'm just, I mean, honestly, no
better way to to spend a stimulus check.
No, I do, right. What else you gonna do?

(05:07):
Like I gotta get that. Use that STEMI honey.
Correct, Correct. So that was, I just had to share
it with you because I knew you would get a kick out of it and I
was just gagged, Yes. OK, well I now I want to do a
tasting like. Can you imagine?
Oh my God, it kind of like Epcothow you can drink around the
world, yes. Oh my God, Oh my God.

(05:29):
Oh my God. Maybe.
But this is probably going to belike what it's like going to
have to be some sort of. You know where it?
Has to be festival or something.It has to be a Dollywood.
Yes, come on down friends, you know, just I mean.
Working 9:00 to 5:00. Yes, I mean bitch, I that that's

(05:50):
not the fog that those bison arerunning, that's just straight up
cocaine. It's just some Elsa.
It's just snowing up. It's.
Snowing up in here. My God.
Well, that's I think there's a business plan here, correct?
Because so like in my, this is, I feel like I did it backwards
because I during COVID, we, there's a wine bar nearby.

(06:10):
So we tried to keep it in business, but they were doing
like virtual wine tastings. Loved that.
Yeah. But now I think we just need to
find like maybe like a professional distributor well.
It's kind of like what? Like our the the version of a
Somalia. Yeah.
Somalia, Yeah. Thank you.
Yes. I wonder what would it be?
What could it be? Hmm.

(06:32):
Hmm, cracky Jacky. Cracky, cracky Jacky A oh.
Better, better. Yes, get it, we'll workshop.
It yeah, we'll workshop it great.
OK, well, there she goes. There she goes.
Fucking God, as we were just going to stand on that for a.
While all. Right, well, I'll go get her up
and then let's step into the funof the day.
Can't wait. Well, Pete, I know that you know

(06:55):
that I know that you know that I've been tickled pink and
excited about this topic basically since we started this
podcast. I'm just going to go with yes,
yes. Yes, yes, because we of course
remember that like running list of topics we have in our Oh
yeah, Excel document. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Well, this is like #3 on that. List.
Oh yeah, we've been talking about it forever. 100% so much

(07:16):
so that we basically talk about it every episode somehow,
because that's just how feral weare, correct?
And that topic, of course, is all about the aunt of Duchene,
correct? I don't know why I said it that
way. No, I don't either.
I don't. I went a little French.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Commit. No, Yeah, well, I did commit to
Duchene all the time. All the time.
Cool. Yeah, time after time and time

(07:38):
endlessly. Well, I'm hoping that I can get
some good Nuggets from this episode because we have two
professionals. Yes. 1A professional in all
things health. Wellness.
Yeah. LGBTQIA plus health.
Yep. Yep.
Family medicine. Yeah.
We're going to get the goods from good old Doctor John.

(07:58):
Can't wait to picket his brain alittle bit, You know, like
getting the yeah, like you said,like the trained professional, I
guess like educated and you knowwhat I mean?
Like it's just a different perspective than our other.
Guests, yes. And for our listeners, many of
them may know Doctor John by hisTikTok or his Instagram handle,
that being that gay doctor. So we're thrilled to have that

(08:20):
gay doctor here. Pretty self-explanatory.
I think it's pretty straightforward, but pretty gay
forward. Right.
Yeah. Well, we're here for it either
way. Absolutely.
And then our second professional, yeah, now seems to
be a recurring partner with a fair relationship.
Absolutely. We might have to bring him in to
be a little Polly with our fair relationship for that matter.
Love here for it. He's a gem.

(08:43):
And then, of course, being the professional that is Jonah
Wheeler. Yes, back to join us again for
another episode. Yep, just diving into the
goodness that is all things douching.
Everyone giving the his perspective of, you know, like
in the trenches, right? Like doing it more often than
you probably, which is saying a lot.
He is saying a. Lot I could see.

(09:05):
Yeah, I mean, I get that. But I feel we have, we have like
both sides of the coin, but likeit's just it a great
conversation I can't wait for. I mean, life is about balance,
Yes, Well, I think let's go ahead and dive right in, shall
we? Yeah, correct.
Deuced. First deuced. 1st yeah, you
don't got to get ready if you stay ready.
Correct. Let's do it well.

(09:26):
So we're super happy to have you.
Thanks for joining us. Thanks for having me.
I think what would be super easyjust to get into it is so
obviously practice medicine. Could you tell us how you got
down that path as far as a career?
Like if there was an inspiration, just walk us
through your journey. Honestly was always just like
very good at school from a very young.
Age like. Straight up.

(09:46):
And so, you know, when you're a smart kid and everyone's like
you're going to be a doctor likethis kind of like ingrained into
my head. And so I just kind of was pushed
down the path, always did well in science and then just kind of
followed it. I have like a very atypical
journey in medicine where I'm from Canada, but I went to
medical school in the Caribbean,OK.
So I lived there for two years and then moved to Chicago in my

(10:09):
third and fourth year and kind of just been, it's been good.
What do you have like a specificarea that you practice or just
general medicine or? Yeah, so my training is in
family medicine. The clinic I work at is towards
the South side of Chicago. It's called the Federally
Qualified Health Center. So it's a clinic that's geared
towards people with limited resources, either no insurance

(10:31):
or Medicaid. We have a lot of like
undocumented immigrants, those types of things.
So it's basically helping peoplenavigate the disaster of the
American healthcare system. I mean, right.
As best we possibly can. Yeah.
So it's it's tough. It's it's heavy work, but it's
it's rewarding at the same time.But a lot of our LGBTQ care is
really concentrated in the Northside, right?

(10:53):
Yeah, Andersonville, Lakeview have ton of access for that, but
there's not much of that on on the South side of the city.
Yeah. So as much as it would be easier
to work in Lakeview, I try to work down there just to kind of
be a a place for those people toget that type of care.
I think there is a lot to be said there about access to
healthcare, not only in just thetraditional means of like having

(11:16):
doctors present, but also the ideologies that support people
who might not subscribe to the heteronormative cultures of the
world. So.
Yeah. So thank you for being that
light in the dark. Yeah.
Absolutely. So, Doctor John, how then did
you become that gay doctor? That also was kind of accidental

(11:39):
to be honest like I I made a TikTok with 0 intention of
becoming like an influencer and then my first few were just like
random. Like I literally think my first
one was like a Cardi B sound bite that I redid honestly.
Naturally. Yeah, and it got like 1.2
million views in the first like 24 hours.
And I was like, well, what's happening?

(11:59):
And then like, did a couple moreand like, I just suddenly was
really gaining traction. And then once I realized, like,
people are listening, I was like, why don't I actually use
this for something good? And it's right messaging.
So I've kind of shifted it into like, breaking down stigma of
like, comfortability with talking to doctors because,

(12:19):
yeah, it sucks. Like, doctors have created a bad
rap for themselves or being judgy, stuffy, shitty people
that people aren't comfortable talking to.
And I'm hoping that that's like the later generation of doctors
and we're phasing in this new wave of young people that, like
can be approachable and doesn't have to feel weird for you to
talk about anal sex or drug use or whatever with your doctor.

(12:43):
Like you go there for medical advice.
And it should not have to feel like that.
So kind of shifted towards posting about doctors are just
regular. People, yeah.
Myself like going to pride festsor going to music festivals and
then cutting to me in the officelike it's it, we're all just
regular people there. Just because I have AMD doesn't
mean I don't do all the same things that other people do so.

(13:05):
I mean, the number of times I'veseen countless doctors on the
dance floor. We love Lanai.
Yeah. And I'm like, thank God we have
a doctor here. I.
Know was that bitch over there? Exactly.
I was like patient zero to sevenof having monkey pox in the
state of Illinois. Oh gosh, I.

(13:26):
Remember that. Yeah, so that was spooky as
hell. And when I got it, I was
obviously immediately very embarrassed.
It was like, I am all weekend 2021, I think.
And I was like, you know what, Ijust need to post about this
because everyone was freaking out.
Everyone was like, can we go places?
What can we do? And I was like, these are on my

(13:47):
body. Nobody really knows what to look
out for. I'm just gonna post about it.
And it got like millions and millions of views and so many
people coming out being like, thank you for just like making
us feel OK and understanding this.
Yeah. And so that kind of gained more
traction, got me connected with other gay doctors and stuff on
the in that space. Well, we love to hear that
because I think if there's anything on this show, it's all

(14:08):
about like, breaking down stigma.
Yeah, trying to just normalize things.
Really. People get STI's, It's it's OK?
Yep. It happens.
Yeah, literally. When?
More than once, right? So when I had monkey pox, I, I
was very, very sick. I live, I went to an emergency
room and I was like, something was really wrong with my body.
And it turns out that I had monkey pox, COVID and chlamydia.

(14:32):
What? A contrail Bothersome Holy
Spirit? I don't think so.
Gay men. Gay men.
And they even, they kept me in the hospital because it was when
we didn't even know like, OK, what are we?
Like they wanted to be isolated.There was no treatment whatever.
And so I stayed overnight. And I vividly remember the next

(14:53):
day the doctor came in the office and like was like looking
through my chart. And she was like, wow, wow.
Which is the first word I was like.
What? She's like, there's a lot
happening in your body right now.
I'm like, I know, I know. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm cutting to that movie that I
feel like we watched in like high school health class when

(15:13):
it's like Robin Williams and it's like all the antibiotics
happening in his body, the movie.
But that's what I'm envisioning right now.
I just imagine there's so much happening.
Inside there was a lot happeningand it felt like it, but
nevertheless she persisted. Yeah.
Yeah, and then I feel like it gave me like it helps like to go
through that when you're seeing patients with similar things

(15:34):
like, yeah, we're taught this inmedical school, like don't share
too much about yourself. I and if every time I have a
person in my office crying aboutan STI, I'm like, it's OK, I've
had this, it's good. It's.
Fine, I. Will be able to get through it.
Like, yeah, like it's not that big of a.
Deal. I get it again, right?
Yeah. And you?
Know what? We're going to treat it and
you're going to be OK. Well, so let's talk about a
topic that is near and dear to my bud, because Lord knows that

(16:00):
I we've talked about this a lot on this podcast.
I mean in in a number of different episodes from talking
about douching in a porta potty like when douching on a.
Dime. Yeah.
Douching on a dime with like an ice mountain bottle of water to
like douching at festivals. And then, you know, we there's
certainly travels that we've been on recently and I talked

(16:22):
about having to use like a powerdouche in PV at us at Spartacus.
Oh, the little host that they gave.
You I. Have used it as well.
Been there, been there. Yeah, they set you up that nice
little closet room. Yes, here I thought I was out of
the closet. I'm like, get back in there,
girl. So for me, it's like it is
something that we've we've touched on and touched in a lot.

(16:46):
So for us and for our listeners,Doctor John, would you please
share what I mean? What is a formal definition for
douching? Formal definition I guess would
be inserting water into one of your bodily orifices in with the
goal of cleaning it out. I would.

(17:07):
Say I love it. Yeah, right.
Yes, add it. Add it to the Coxford
dictionary. Yes.
Here for it. I mean, it's mostly not like we
refer to it as just anal douching, right?
But obviously it is vaginal as well, so it would be used in
that context too. Well, so I know when it comes to
the vaginal side of things and Idon't talk about this stuff like

(17:30):
that stuff often. And it shows.
I'm sorry, a vagina biscuits like where is that?
I got right girl. My question was going to be when
it comes to vaginal douchey, andI know there often is also a
concern about pH balancing there.
There's a lot more going on perhaps in the vagina There,
there, there is around the corner and just around the river

(17:52):
bend, you know, just around the corner.
So. So tell us like for our
listeners who may have vaginas, yes.
How like what might be some things for them to know because
I imagine we're going to unpack quite a bit.
Yeah. I.
Was just going to say maybe not even just for us to know because
clearly we have no idea clearly.Right.
Well, generally vaginal douchingis very discouraged.

(18:15):
There's not, there's not really a purpose of it, right?
Like obviously anal douching, itmakes sense there.
There is poop coming out of there.
The vagina is a self cleaning oven, honestly, it takes care of
itself. So it does have like mucus and
fluids and things that it produces for a purpose right of,
of lubrication and comfort. So the problem is like,

(18:38):
obviously you want to smell goodand feel good and feel clean
when you're going to be having sex.
But if you put anything in therethat's not supposed to be,
you're right about like pH balance disruption, disrupting
the normal vaginal environment. And so anyone that generally
does that ends up with recurrentyeast infections, bacterial
infection. So we generally just say hands

(18:59):
off like nothing but plain wateron the outside.
Don't put anything inside. If you feel like you're having
overproduction of discharge, then probably something is wrong
and we need to treat you for it.But don't just like flush it out
because it's not going to fix the problem.
Otherwise it's an easy bake oven.
Yeah, yeah, it's self cleaning. Let it cure for it, yeah.

(19:20):
Exactly could. You imagine if you had an easy
baked oven biscuit, you would beunstoppable.
For real, I don't know if straight people know how lucky
they are to just be able to spontaneously.
Have okay 100,000 the number of times Pete and I have had
conversations about do you know we would be running the world,
homosexuals would be running theworld if we didn't have to do

(19:42):
just. Right away.
Let's. Go.
And we were just. We were.
Just talking about this. Just did a pregame the other
night and I literally got out mycalculator on my iPhone and I.
Was like I told Biscuit, I said what could you know how they
always have the statistics You spend X amount of days or years
of sleep in your life. So I was like.
About the amount of time you're douching.
The amount of time you'd spend douching and I was so biscuits

(20:04):
broke out the calculator. And then somehow I immediately
got on to like rent. And so I was like 525,600
minutes, correct. And then so then I was like, all
right, well, now I got to know how long have I been like, how,
how old will I be when I've beendouching for a year, right?
And. What?
How much time it is? Roughly, well, so it it'll take
roughly, I think we got to 54 years.

(20:28):
Of 54 years. One year of your of that life
will have been wow. Isn't that sad That's.
Wild. That's wild to say.
Out. Loud.
I hope it's at least multitask with like some scrolling.
And yes, fascinating. OK.
Get something for the scarf trees.
You just take it. Up a different a different.
Hobby, Yes. Oh my God.

(20:50):
Wow. Yeah, the amount of times I've
caught up on my Netflix and likeHBO Max, well, it's good
viewing, 100%. I'm glad you're using it well.
You think the time will Well, I think like that brings up a
really good point being so yes, OK, vagina douching, maybe not
the best idea, but when it comesto anal douching, too much,
probably not great, too little, also not too great finding the

(21:11):
sweet spot. And obviously it's, you know,
based on your body and how you're eating and what have you.
But like, I guess just as a general question, is anal
douching good for you? I wouldn't use the term good for
you, but is is fine. Like obviously it your body
would be best for you not to do that, but it's not like you are.
But you generally can't have sexif you don't.

(21:33):
So I think doing it in moderation is like where the key
is. And like you said, like
everybody's body is different. So it's tough how some people
can do just like a one and done ready to go.
To go it's not fair. Fair.
Seriously, I have some, like, top friends that are like, Oh,
yeah, whenever I do it, it's just like one time.
And I'm like, you're such a waste.

(21:56):
Yeah. Like, you don't know how hard it
is for some people. But truly, it's tough because
obviously to feel comfortable, many of us want to have the
water clear, not a speck coming out.
But to reach that point, you kind of do need to, by
definition, over douche, you know?
So when you use the term moderation, asking for a friend,

(22:20):
what what would you? What does that mean?
Well, I would say less than one year out of 54 years.
Good a good starting point. Well, because the running joke,
like especially when we were on that trip to PV that we talked
about in episode 1 of the season, like the running joke
was, oh, biscuits taking hours. We're already out.

(22:42):
We've already had dinner. We've already gone back and
freshened up and. Hey.
She's still going to town. These are old pipes.
OK, You know, I'm like Flint, MI, you got to you got to like
break these down, build them back up, honey.
OK, so, but on a related topic, though, a quick side quest, but
related question. Let's talk about the water in

(23:04):
Mexico and using that for Duchene.
I have no idea if that what the science behind that would be
because I don't know if the problem is putting the water in
through your entire GI tract, like to your stomach and stuff.
But if it's just being put distally and then immediately

(23:25):
out, I think there would be significantly less risk of
causing some type of bacterial infection.
But I mean, if we want to err onthe size of caution, yeah, I
guess bottled water would be theway just.
Get that Culligan like little tap thing off and the water
cooler just hosted up in the bathroom a.
Pallet a pallet of water, yeah. OK, well, that's good to know.

(23:48):
So on the the topic of overducing, like what?
Like what? From a health side of things?
Like what could happen with yourconsistently overducing?
Consistently overducing runs therisk of like breaking down the
normal mucosal barrier that you have on your intestine, right
which is there to be protective.And so if that is taken out,

(24:09):
then you're lining of your rectum is exposed and is more at
risk of injury. It can become dry.
And then when you're having sex,that will increase your risk of
infections. So there's obviously some risk
of that anyway. But if you were to get some STI
and have like a friable or sensitive rectum, you could get

(24:33):
more severe cases of STI's like proctitis, which is when the
whole kind of rectum becomes inflamed and angry and could
result in in more serious thingsthat you don't want.
Yes, I. Agree yeah, I mean so on the two
active monkey pox that caused did either of you have monkey
pox? No.
So monkey pox was known for causing proctitis because they

(24:55):
you get the sores like outside, but then they were also like
distally in the rectum. And so it's basically like a
feeling of it constantly being inflamed and you have a
sensation where you basically always feel like you have to
poop and then nothing is coming out and it's super painful.
Yes, bad. I was just telling Biscuit not
too long ago I had my first hemorrhoid.

(25:15):
Like I think it was two years ago at this point, but I had
never had one before. Yeah.
And I that sensation was what was happening.
I'm like, I have to go see a doctor because I'm like, this is
so uncomfortable. So I feel like I have to poop
all the time and that like I would go to the gym and sweat.
I'm like this. I just am so uncomfy.
So I went into the walk in just to like get it done.
And this woman, like, looked right at my butt hole and she

(25:36):
was, Yep, that's what you got. That's what it is.
It's got a little hemi back there, so little hemi.
And so I was like, oh, like, do I need to?
She goes, well, like, do you have these creams?
And I go, Yep, she goes, just keep doing that.
Yeah. And I go.
OK, Just keep swimming, yeah? Exactly that.
Keep on. Keeping on Yeah.
Meanwhile, I had a similar type of experience.

(25:56):
Mine was. I don't.
And I don't know if it was a hemorrhoid except for the fact
that like I, I was in P town. It was like halfway through a
very active week, one could say.Been through some work
established. Yes, true take character.
The muscles were being used and slapped.
Yes, yes. And and then I started like
actively bleeding excessively into the toilet every time I

(26:19):
went. Fortunately, I did have a friend
who was a Doctor Who was on thattrip, who I was.
I was like, can I ask you some questions in?
Confidence. The number of times I get a
message that says that. Yes, well, and God bless you
guys for it. So thank you for your service.
Yeah. And that was it.
It was a lot. Of fissure I'm assuming.

(26:40):
I think so. It was.
It was a lot, a lot, a lot, though.
I was like, oh girl, this is I'mon my period.
Like it was excessive. This.
Doesn't have to wear a diaper the rest of the time in C town.
Oh my God, Can you imagine they sort of a bot then like.
Did you do some pelvic rest or? I I, I did.
I was. Suddenly a top.
I I was more of a top that one more, not exclusive more, more

(27:04):
more of it's like maybe by the end of the week I can dabble.
And then I was like, why not he?Tailors all this time.
I was gonna say I have a really good friend from undergrad and
he's a physician now and like I,he's my go to.
Like he, he's not even like family medicine, but I will
happily reach out to him every time.
I'm like, hey, so I have this weird thing going on with my

(27:26):
body and he's like, well, like you should probably talk to you.
I said, yes, I know. But like, you're my, you're my
first. First step, you're.
My first step. And if you say, oh, OK, then
that's gonna tell me I need to go and take care of something.
Good to have those people in your life.
Exactly. And then I love seeing them when
we're out doing feral things like, yeah, then I'm like, OK, I
feel safer, yeah. These are my pieces here.
It's OK, yeah. Exactly.

(27:49):
Well, so tell us if we're, if we're on the other side of
douching, we've we've done the clean out the the post work.
What about the pre work? Are are there any best practices
to help perhaps make douching a little bit more efficient?
Yeah. I mean, there's no, no secrets
that we have in medicine aside from the usual like high fiber
diet. Ideally nutritional fiber

(28:10):
functions a lot better, so fruits, vegetables and whole
grains. But if you don't get a lot of
that in your diet, then some fiber supplement I generally
push people towards like either Metamucil or like a psyllium
husk or kind of the go to ones. I think most of those ones that
are like marketed to gay men that are like some expensive ass
product that is essentially justpsyllium.

(28:33):
There's no reason to buy into those things.
But if you feel like that works well for you, I don't think it's
any different than just someone you could get from Walgreens.
But OK. Other than that, yeah.
Hydrating Well, And then of course, she's like knowing your
body, right? Like, everybody's stomach is
more sensitive to certain foods.So if you know, like, don't go
to Taco Bell the night before, you know, But she's that

(28:57):
crushed. Her intreps of cream.
Yeah, bean burrito with summer cream.
Oh, honey. It's like the number of times
people come in to see me and they're like, oh, I have like
really bad stomach pain and diarrhea after eating McDonald's
and I'm like, OK, well. Oh well.
We got to learn from our mistakes here, right?
So if you're painting someone every time you have Taco Bell

(29:19):
the night before, then maybe on market days we can we do a
little cleanse I'll make. Some different.
Choice exactly you're painting every.
Maybe fiber 1 instead. And you can be skinny too with
that, right? I love my mule soul.
I like swear by that. I take mule every day.

(29:39):
Yep. And if I don't like my stomach's
like, oh, you're this something's not right because I
just it gets into a routine and.I have my name a protein shake
every day too. Yeah.
OK, so protein shake, how do youconsume yours, Pete?
Honestly, I just put her in water and shove her down.
Yeah, I know, I know. I get like the better tasting
stuff you can get like the clearthat freaks them out a little

(30:00):
bit because I am drinking it without anything else.
Yeah. So yeah, I get like the orange,
like orange flavored Metamucil. Yeah.
And I, I mean, I don't love it, but like sure, given the
circumstance I do like. It yeah, the alternative.
Keeps things working, yeah. Now, what about people that take
Imodium? We've we've talked about
ovaries. And Imodium too.

(30:21):
Yeah, so. Also, from personal experience,
that's it. On more than one occasion, I
don't learn my lessons, damn it.Moderation is is not your Forte
I. Hate it.
Yeah, I feel seen. Yeah, Imodium is a toughy
because it's, it's something that is only meant to be used

(30:42):
very short term. So like 1 to 2 pills when you
are having motility issues, right.
So having diarrhea, if you use it when you're not having that,
you are running the risk of putting yourself in the other
direction. And then that can make it even
harder to fix it, right? So if you take Imodium several
days in a row for like a weekendparty, you're probably going to

(31:04):
be super backed up. You're going to be feeling
bloated, and it's going to be harder to clean out afterwards,
right? Because that hard stool gets
stuck in your intestine. And then for weeks to come, it's
just like not wanting to come out.
You're just bullshit I think. He literally, yeah, I hope.
You've learned your lesson. Yeah, I hope you're happy now

(31:25):
and I'm not. You should have heard.
I think it's like a fine thing to use for like a one time
party. You're going to Steam works for
the night, whatever you're doing, but many days in a row I
would I would steer clear of doing that.
OK. Well, I appreciate that.
John's down notes. Notes, Yes.
Takes the notes. Takes the notes needed.

(31:47):
So tell us, you know, as as a Doctor Who talks about many a
taboo topic on his TikTok, on his Instagram, tell us like what
are best ways for our listeners to approach these conversations,
whether it's with their doctors or with their friends or anybody
else that might be able to help them.

(32:07):
Good question. I'd say like with the Doctor is
really mixed bag because like you said, when you're
referencing like your old straight Christian man doctor,
it might honestly be really hardto talk about it with them
because they might not be comfortable talking about that
with you, right? It's important to know with any
any career, there's a range of expertise and some people know a

(32:28):
lot about one thing and not about not anything about it.
So I think finding a doctor that, like, not necessarily is a
gay man, but at least someone that is an ally and understands
the community is opening to learning and like, whatever
makes you feel better. Like if you need to open with,
like, this is kind of weird for me to talk about.
People say that all the time. It's like nothing is weird to

(32:49):
talk about with us, you know? Like we're not embarrassed for
you to talk about your poop, foryou to talk about your anal sex.
Like it is what it is. So if that's gonna make you feel
better to be like, oh, this is kind of weird to talk about.
Like when I need you to look at my butt hole, like it's like,
OK, I look at buttholes all the time.
That's literally. My I've seen.
So many. Yeah, exactly.
So that and then with friends, it's super variable, right,

(33:11):
'cause some people are judgy as hell about talking about sex
stuff like they really are. I know several of my friends
have like in through being friends with me been like you
really made me feel more comfortable to be able to like
talking about like hooking up and stuff like that.
And like, why is there this likeweird shame about talking about
sex? So I don't know, finding people

(33:32):
that are not going to judge you if that's what your life is.
Well girl, you found it in bean biscuit here cuz let me tell
you, anybody listening, we're your girly pals.
Open books, baby. Honestly, surely forever love
that. But I think that like there's a
lot of truth to that. I would even say like in our
group of friends, right? Like the larger group, I feel
like overtime, because we'll just talk about it out in the

(33:54):
open, right? And we'll chat and then be like,
OK, now let's open the door for somebody else to be like, what
can we talk about? Yeah.
Hell yeah, please. Do yeah.
I've been begging for you to talk to me about.
This No, I just keep, I just keep throwing that like the the
the talking anchor farther and farther away.
Just that. Was Biscuit trying to make a

(34:15):
fishing reference? Yeah, I was like the lure, the
lure, that thing, right? I'm sporty.
Reeling in a big one. Yeah, Oh my God.
Well, I was just gonna say too, I think for me as far as like
finding like how I found my current physician was just word
of mouth, right? Like I have a gay friend that he
was like, oh, this is who I see.And he's a gay man and he's

(34:38):
super easy to talk to. And I'm like, OK.
Yeah, I'll give it a whirl. Yeah.
Right. And I love him like he's my
favorite. So I feel like that's a huge
thing. We've talked about that with
parties and what have you. It's like if you you, you hear
good things about someone, something you, you kind of have
to listen in some ways, right? Especially if you're looking
for. I'm not used to talking to
somebody about this, but you already hear from your friend.

(34:58):
Oh, I talk to this physician about this all the time, and
he's cool as hell. Yeah, Or she or whoever.
There are like several online databases too where you can
search for like LGBTQ friendly providers and stuff.
So I think if people are unhappywith their current provider,
like actually my current doctor is a straight man and I'm like,
why why don't I go here like every time?
He's like, so are you using condoms?
And I'm like. Girl.

(35:22):
Only, only when. Forced.
Good question. I, I possess some.
I do. I do keep them in my travel bag
for for what? I mean, yeah, you never need
never know. So.
In. Case it's raining.
What was I like? That's what one of the times
like that, I saw my physician, he on the way out, he was like,

(35:45):
it was a big party weekend. I think it may have been market
days weekend and it was like theweek before.
And he was like, make sure you wear a condom.
And he like winked and laughed And I was like, this is what I
need. I was like, yes, this is yes.
And. Then he went back and wrote in
his note councils on condom music.
Well, 'cause that's another thing.
It's like same with like when you go to the doctor and they're

(36:06):
asking about STI stuff. Like there's some providers and
it always bothers me that they still do this is they say like
how many partners have you had in, in such and such a time,
right? And like since your past, like
so standard prep visit is every three months, right?
So how many partners have you had in the past two months?
And it's like there actually isn't really a reason where you
need to know that, right? Like we're gonna do my STI

(36:26):
testing anyway. So I might have like the number
is between 1 and 100 and that isall that matters, right?
It makes no difference. So like other than you just
being nosy, like what is the purpose?
Like you could ask that questionif you're trying to gauge, are
you a candidate for prep, right?Because right, do we need to do
things to make you safer? If you're already on it, it's

(36:48):
like there's no reason to to pryinto that type of information.
They're just trying to fill out their lottery ticket, you know,
like what? What Powerball number next?
Yeah, just like a very good story, I think.
Yeah. Well, so curious, tell us, do
you have any interesting storiesfrom the front lines from you
know, and obviously we respect Hippo.
We are very much respected privacy.

(37:10):
But like I imagine in the course, whether it's working
with colleagues or just even in perhaps experiences in Med
school or if the work from stories from friends, are there
any topical thematic related stories that tickle your fancy?
I have a good story. Oh, we love a very interesting

(37:30):
man, heterosexual as far as I know.
And we're he came in for a regular checkup.
We're doing the standard things,just ordering blood work,
vaccines, that kind of stuff. And then like towards the end of
the visit he's like, so actuallyI have a question having a
problem like with my rectum. I was wondering like if you
could like have a look. I'm getting like campaign
sometimes, especially with bowelmovements or if I wipe, there's

(37:53):
like a little bit of blood on the paper.
Sometimes I'm like, okay, so sounds like some few standard
things, either like a fissure orhemorrhoid, but like we can have
a look and I'm like running through all the risk factors for
hemorrhoids. Like are you constipated?
Are you sitting on the toilet too long?
Are you, what things are you doing wrong?
Do you not have enough fiber in your diet?
Do not drink enough water. And he's like, no, no, no, no,

(38:14):
I'm super active. I drink a ton of water.
I drink ton of fiber. I was like, okay, well, I don't
know, it's a little strange thatyou're having this because
usually there's some contributing factor, right?
And you can ask like any like anal sex.
And he's like, no. And I'm like, OK, well, I'm
going to step out. I'm going to have you undress
and I'll come back in so we can do the exam.
And I'm like getting ready to like leave out of the out of the

(38:34):
office. And he's like, oh, I, I should
probably mention that like, I have like a butt plug in right
now. And yeah.
Yeah. I was immediately like, oh, OK,
so start maybe. Yeah, I was like, OK, well,
well, maybe that might be contributing to to why you're

(38:57):
feeling this pain and pressure in your oh.
My God, why? Why would you, when you came to
your doctor's appointment for like, when you got ready that
day, That's your, that's part ofyour routine.
Happy for you. Like, yeah, get it, Get it.
But like, if, if, if there's some discomfort there that you
were seeking medical advice about, then yeah.
Yeah. Maybe maybe lead with that.
Like there was like so much prying to him being like, I just

(39:20):
don't know why this is happening.
And I was just like. You're on your way up, by the
way. By the way, you're sitting.
On the answer, yeah, I had a medical.
Student with me actually and we came out of the room and she was
like what you, you just you never know like people just
can't connect the dots sometimesso thankfully we we solved the

(39:41):
problem yes. Wow you are so good at your job.
This is why I went to medical school, right?
I'm so curious. I want to know the back.
Story. Really.
Yeah, like. Correct.
Oh come on, straight man, what you doing up there?
I feel like I've seen there's this couple on TikTok and I
can't think of there but it's like a man and woman and like
the man clearly has a butt plug in that she like controls.

(40:02):
She, like, stimulates, Yeah. And.
They'll be in public places and it's like their shtick is like
he'll be at the checkout counterat a grocery store and she'll
and he does one of these like ashe's paying to.
Good for them, he loves to see it's.
One of my favorite things to, honestly.
Work people are getting way moreinto about stuff for sure.
Yes, yes, they should. Yeah, we love to see.

(40:23):
Oh my God, I love. Did you guys ever see Avenue Q
the musical? There was a moment during the
show. Paint the picture for us please.
Picture it, Sicily. No.
And there are two Muppets. Sorry.
So Evan AQ it's part human, partMuppet.
I'll get to it very fast. There is a Muppet sex scene and
at one point the girl it's it isa heterosexual Muppet sex scene.

(40:48):
And at one point the the female monster, as they were called,
puts her finger up his butt and the guy goes, don't put your
finger there. And then she does it again, and
he goes. Put your finger there.
And I was like, yes, more people.
More people need to experience more people, Yeah.
And Muppets need to experience the prostate especially.

(41:11):
Yeah, I was going to say my primary care, he usually has a
student with him. Like, I don't know if he's just
the site, but anyway, so he he usually has one.
And it was shortly after I was getting over my hemorrhoid.
I just had like my regular prep visit and he was like, oh, like
you were in here not too long ago.
I don't remember what that was for.
And there was like this young female student in there with him
and I was like, oh, well, like that was he goes, oh, that's

(41:33):
right. You're like your little friend
that was back there. And so I'm like laughing.
And so I look at the female student.
I was like, I had a hemorrhoid that in case just to clear it
up, because I know you'll talk about it as soon as you leave.
I had a hemorrhoid. It's good.
Now we're fine. We.
Got through it. We got through.
It didn't you give that hemorrhoid a name?
Oh, her name was Gertie. Gertie.
Yeah, her name was Gertie. Her name, she will be back.
Unfortunately, I. Know.

(41:54):
Yeah, but I have the creams. I know what you're.
Doing you're ready. I am ready.
I. Am for mayor of the plan.
I have my hemorrhoid merit badge.
Yes. I mean, to not have one until
this stage in life is is impressive.
But that's why it freaked me outso much, because I was like, how
have I never had one, right? You know what I mean?
Yeah. Anyways.
We're good and good to get checked because colon cancer
rates are super rising especially for like 40 forties

(42:17):
because we don't screen for it till 45 and studies are showing
that they're getting higher and higher in younger people.
So any type of weird like blood in the stool stuff is definitely
a good thing to go get checked out for.
OK, Yeah, your butts, yeah. Your butt needs to be done needs
to be done. So, pivoting slightly, are there
any tools, devices, accessories or otherwise that you as a

(42:41):
doctor recommend as I don't knowof use or benefit to our
listeners? Your preferred toolbox?
Yes. Like sex toys related things you
mean? Or, well, I.
Would say but but douching topically.
But I mean hell, you've got somefavorites to share.
Yes, Doctor John's favorite things.

(43:02):
You get a dildo and you get a butt plug, Yes.
There's actually the Doctor Johnbutt plug out on Amazon now.
Link in the show notes. I was like a test judge for some
like sex awards thing where theylike sent me a bunch of toys and

(43:22):
stuff and I was supposed to likerank them and like, and I was
like what am I? Ranking.
Did. You did you do an unboxing?
I did. All right.
We're going to find the video. We're going to link it.
This is amazing. I didn't I didn't post it.
I did an unboxing for like my friends.
It's like it's like a huge toy which was is great.

(43:43):
I do recommend 10 out of 10. Well, Pete and Biscuit are here
to do video unboxings or audio at the minimum.
That's our Forte. But in terms of douching, I
don't think there's any any particular ones to avoid
against, I would say is anythingthat's going to be like sharp in
any capacity, like rigid. Yeah, using like a soft tip

(44:04):
thing. Even something like when people
travel, I feel like most people just buy one of those Walgreens
enemas, empty out the solution that's in there and just fill
with like Luke warm water. Using the solutions is not
recommended because it can irritate the rectum mucosa and
that kind of stuff too. So no, nothing in particular.
Use a little bit of Lube on the tip and be gentle with yourself.

(44:25):
But yeah, I don't think there's any special one that you need to
use whatever feels good for yourbody.
I know a lot of people love those shower attachment things,
which they obviously work very well, but just using caution
with those of not putting too much water in because you don't
want to dilate the colon. And then if that happens, then

(44:45):
you're going to get all that. Like that's when people do that.
Like the main thing is they're going to get that water
afterwards, right? Like nobody wants that.
I mean, it's better than poop, but we don't want to be having
sex and then suddenly there's all this residual water coming
out you. Don't want it to rain on your
parade? You.
Do not at all, no. Barbara.
Oh my God, always a musical reference with this I.

(45:07):
Know sorry, I know she's. Gay tell me like musicals
without telling me like musicals.
Except you just did like at least twice in this fucking
episode. Jesus Christ.
Well, love you all kisses. What about we've talked a little
bit about this, but like what about cleaning of said douche?
Like I know that, yes, like is there like how often should you

(45:30):
do it? I feel like after every use you
probably should, yeah. I mean, there's there's bacteria
in your stool, right? So I wouldn't just leave that
be. But just also just with like
water, I don't think you need touse anything in particular.
No abrasive like soaps or anything like that because you
don't want to be putting soap inside your butt hole.
So just warm water and clean it off right after you use it and

(45:53):
should say good. Mr. Clean.
Yeah, yeah, Mr. Clean. There it is.
There it is. So I actually I've 2 questions,
one that is topical and then onethat's a little bit more broad
stroke. Shall we all?
Right. Let's stroke about.
Yeah, the personal question thatis topical.
Are you a shower doucher or a toilet doucher?

(46:15):
I am a toilet doucher. Same.
Me too. Or I'll start at the toilet and
then I'll go to the shower. Yeah.
I feel like that is the the normal progression, right 'cause
you gotta get like the most of it into the toilet, correct?
There's some residual specs, those can go down the drain in
the shower 'cause I. Have some friends who are proud
waffle stompers as they call them.

(46:36):
So I I. Don't like?
That I don't like that either. I also have friends who do that,
and I just can't get behind that.
I'm sorry. Yeah, but hey, more power to
you. Yeah, just don't walk around
barefoot my apartment. I think it would still smell
though, right? Right.
Yeah, not for. No, definitely.
Yeah, yeah. Great work everybody.
Yes, high fives all around Co team.
Both ways get the job done, yeah.

(46:57):
We like it both ways. So tell me, is there anybody
that you have a fair relationship with?
Someone who brings out the most chaotic, fun version of
yourself? The little devil on your
shoulder who encourages you to go out to The Afters.
I mean, my partner for sure since being with Yeah, without a
doubt, since being with him, I've more been more engaged in

(47:19):
like group things at times, morecomfortable with that kind of
stuff. I never would go to circuit
parties before we started dating.
It's kind of his thing and now I'll go and have a blast.
I used to like go and be like, I'm just doing this for you, but
it's. Much like.
More more comfortable. With that's love.
Yeah, Yeah, that's great. Well, thank you for sharing.
Of course, yeah. Well, this has been magical.

(47:40):
It was great. Yeah.
Thank you guys for having me. Thank you very much for joining
us. It was very insightful.
Yes, and I hope you don't end upspending a full year on the
toilet like I clearly will. Be I don't see that for my
future. No.
God bless. Well, after that lovely dialogue
with Doctor John, I'd like to now welcome back to Fair

(48:03):
Relationship, an expert and professional in his own right
with subject matter expertise tothe nines.
Juno Wheeler. Let's go ahead and dive right
in, shall we? I am a man in need and this is
this is a running joke with all my friends because I feel like I

(48:24):
certainly do not implement probably the best procedures
when it comes to all things douching.
I'm a perfectionist and I think I freak out when it comes to it.
So I'm just nervous that I'm going to have a little oopsie
poopsie and to avoid it I think I probably over douche and then
I'm just doing it forever. So I'm like cleaning breakfast
out, my dear God. We went to PV and it was like,

(48:45):
all right, we're gonna do this and this and then everyone's
gonna go home and get ready and then we're gonna be out.
We go, all right, well, let's get where.
Yeah, I'm still douching. And.
We're playing my very long prep,you guys.
Yes, yes, exactly. So on the topic of douching and
as somebody who you know. Does this professionally?
Does this professional? Yes, Yes.

(49:06):
Does it for as much as 10 or 12 hours a week sometimes.
My gosh, yes. Well, then talk to us if, if
you're comfortable, please sharewhat what is your routine and
what best practices would you like to share with our
listeners? Douching is an individual.
Like somebody say this about fucking everything in the world
it's an individual process that changes from person to person.
But everybody's butts are different.

(49:27):
Everybody's suggestion is different.
Mine personally, when I'm getting fucked and I'm doing it
right, I, I give in and trust that person so much and
everything within me let's go. And that means that everything
within me wants to move. And so my prep has to be, I
think, deeper than other people.I think I am similar to you.

(49:49):
My prep is always like an hour and a half.
Yep. Wow.
OK, well. It's the rainbow connection.
You and me. The result of this is that I I'm
not someone who fasts because, you know, I'm gonna be cleaning
so deep anyway that it doesn't really.
It turned out not to matter how much food I've had in the last
10 hours, so I usually end up having lunch and the coffee

(50:12):
before before I start my prep. I mean, actually, yeah, it's
smart. Yeah, it just helps everything
that's gonna have to come out and start moving.
Yeah, yeah, I do it in two pieces.
No, yeah. I get a first round done until
nothing more is going to come out easily.
This usually takes 20 to 30 minutes and then I take a break

(50:34):
for 30 to 45 minutes and try anddo something relaxing and
distracting and not thinking about the whole process so my
body moves things on its own. You can get back in there and
get back to work OK. I am a devotee of the of the
bulb. Yes.
Not the shower shot. The shower shot is very elegant,
but I don't know exactly how much water I'm using with it.

(50:57):
Yeah, the Devils isn't flow. I try to count like I will.
I'll turn my little hose slightly because I'm like, I
will. I will try to like measure the
power of it like in the drain first to be like, OK.
And then I'm like, all right, But do I start from 10 or do I
start from 20? And then I just pray, Yeah.
And with the bulb, I think part of the secret to this is using

(51:19):
actually fairly little water. Oh oh, I do the opposite.
Fuck. Yeah, and that's like.
Hey, everybody's different, Biscuit.
Everybody's different, but you also don't want to.
You don't want to get the parts that are not coming out in this
exact moment to be flooded or waterlogged.
Yeah. You only want to get water
around what's coming out on thisround?

(51:41):
Yeah, interesting. And so the bulb lets me moderate
that really well. Yeah.
It also does need regular cleaning, which is frequently
boiling. And, you know, because, you
know, it either sits in my shower, it's into the sink,
which are moldy places. I fill it with a little bit of,
like, an inch or so of dried rice and vinegar and just roll
it around between my hands and scrape off the insides.

(52:03):
Oh. My gosh, I love that.
Come on, tips. I know.
I mean, it made it home. Yes, there is an incredible My
douching process changed about 10 years ago when I found this
thing. I wrote down the link for it.
Oh. OK.
OK, it's an infographic that youcan find it

(52:24):
howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com Oh.
My gosh. We will post this URL to our
show notes on our website. It's like a four to six page
walkthrough of douching techniques, suggestions,
etcetera. Wow.
OK, It's like, here's some do's and don'ts, here's what your

(52:46):
goals are, here's how much waterto use.
Here are the different products you can use to do it and like
pros and cons to each of them. If you're having difficulty,
here are some possible suggestions, Here are signs that
you should stop and this isn't going to work today.
Oh. My God, it's my butt's rose out
of stone. It's.
Great. It's incredible.
I'm going to tell you something that I don't often say in

(53:08):
public, but is, I think, a key part of my Duchen process.
Yes. Is that once you know I've
gotten the preliminary rounds ofstuff out of there?
I am a very hands on person about this.
Oh, I think I know where you're going.
And girl, you may not be alone. It's it's been very helpful.
The it's. Got its honor right.
I'm like, yes. 'Cause this, when I'm like,

(53:31):
cool, I know there's more up there and I can't reach it with
anything, but I need to convincemy body to move.
It is. I really just got to be pressing
on all the right emotional interior spots that make me feel
like I am safe and like I am horny and like Daddy's got me,
yes. And if I can.
Press the right internal buttons, everything starts to

(53:53):
move. What's so interesting?
How I also coupled this with watching dad porn in my other
hand. Yeah, of course.
Naturally, Naturally. I don't make it feel safe and
trusted and horny and it helps me open up and release
everything. I fucking love.
Yeah, I do too. And absolutely.
OK, I did not, I do not apply that trick, but I do apply the

(54:15):
full like Mockingjay, like like up to to I'm I'm a true tester.
Yes. It's like the little it's like
the litmus test for your butt. Yeah.
Is she? Ready.
Well, now we have this WordPresssite that you know we're gonna
have to check out. Yeah.
But the on the internal spot, obviously never again,
everybody's body is different. So they're just specific.
Like would you say like pleasurespots or like is it massaging

(54:38):
the prostate for you that like is something that gets things
going or it's a? Bunch of different things.
Yeah, OK, great. Sometimes it's sometimes it's
pushing on the prostate, sometimes it's like just getting
a certain amount of like stretchand relaxing around that.
OK, OK. I think really it's all
psychological. I'm not pressing the magic

(54:58):
button that makes my body move things.
I'm tricking my brain into letting it go.
Yes, Come on Elsa 100% let it go.
There we go. I was like, yes, I can't Cliff
frozen into this. So I've decided it's about Elsa
Lanchester, bride of this time. Oh my gosh.

(55:21):
So Pi will say my my practices are pretty similar to Jonah.
I will say it's only recently, though, that I started to do the
the two pronged approach. And although mine, I will say is
different, I've tried recently to do almost like a little run
in between to try to like provide like a little like
little gravity bounce, you know,to get her going.
And that does. That has proven to be all right,

(55:43):
But I'm can't wait to dive in aninfographic for.
Sure, I can't wait to check thisout.
But I'm I'm how I mean, what experiences you had or have you
heard about? Yeah, for me, I need to like do
it, go do something else, come back.
Like it's like I can't just sit there because otherwise I'm an
impatient motherfucker. So I know that I'll you're

(56:04):
talking about I'll just have toomuch water and then I'll feel
bloated. It'll just do like the complete
opposite thing that I'm wanting it to do.
So I need to like do it go and start the dishwasher something I
need to be doing something to like.
I think to your, to your point, Jonah, like not keep my mind so
fixated on it, right? The other thing for me that I

(56:24):
actually started seeing a trainer nutritionist a couple
years ago and he was like just increasing my fiber intake for
me made the world of a difference.
Like it helps keep things regular ANYWAYS.
But like when it comes to cleaning out, it just makes it
like I noticed a significant difference than before, just
because it's a little bit more predictable because you're

(56:46):
keeping that the flow, you're keeping the flow going for me.
I love that. Yeah.
So obviously in the industry that you work in, this is this
is something you regularly have to encounter.
And every, as you noted, everybody's body's different.
I mean, are there, like, are there douching breaks on set
when you or do you guys have to?I mean, I imagine there have

(57:08):
been moments where it's like, oh, we might want to pause.
Yeah, there's moments where you're like that that, you know,
was complicated. So we we stopped and we did
other things like on a Hamaros set, Hamaros is a porn company
that's very, very much about capturing authentic intimacy.
So and so that's always about following the thread where it's
naturally going. So that one was a cool like

(57:32):
we've been having sex. It's a little messy.
And you know what, we're the thing that psychological deals
right for all of us is to pivot to a different action and play
the scene out to a different lead.
Whereas in a say uncle set whereit's more about a specific story
act they want us to do, we'll stop the bottom, we'll go and do
continue to prep and we'll then get back to it when that's done.

(57:53):
Yeah. A studio that I worked for
organized a content house once and they put six of us together
in a, they like got, you know, housing, suburban housing
structures, and they put six of us together in a rental unit.
It had two bathrooms. And they'd organized sort of
like structure wise. They'd scheduled us all for a
bunch of scenes and all six of us were bottoming sometime in

(58:14):
the morning, so we all had to show up off site at 9 ready to
get fucked between 9:00 and noon.
Oh. Gosh, but there's six of us and
two showers. And I did like, I live in New
York City. I live in an apartment.
I've lived in apartment buildings.
Every time I've been here. You never run out of hot water.
Not in the suburban house. It's not designed for six people

(58:36):
to shower for three continuous hours.
No. And I'm lucky because I claimed
the 5:30 AM prep slot. I got the hot water.
All those boys got hot water. No, that wow, that's definitely
have it where I'm like, especially so I have this thing

(58:58):
where I also like to like for a pregame.
If we're going out for the night, I will bring a bottle of
water just as a backup just in case.
I, like, might check myself before I wreck myself before we
go out at the game And I'll be like, oh, sweet baby Jesus.
Thank God I brought good old iceMountain.
And, you know, in those moments,I, yeah, I then it's like the

(59:20):
water is not exactly piping hot or like it takes a minute for
the sink to warm up and I'm like, oh, damn it.
And then I'm like, she's just, she's nice and tight now, Jesus.
There was I was telling Biscuit in another episode that we had,
there was this like twink creator that went viral and that
whether it was a joke or not, but we were just talking about
it. He's talking about I had a

(59:41):
weekend full of scenes lined up and he took like 6 or 7 Imodium
and that was, that was his plan because that was.
I think that was entirely genuine.
Yeah, OK, see, OK. I was like, I took it as genuine
and I was telling Biscuit about it.
I'm like but like did really? Yeah.

(01:00:01):
But I guess, you know, everybodybought, everybody's body is
different, yeah. Yeah.
Well, so your your comment aboutthe showers really actually
cute. An interesting question for me
because I personally, I am not aI'm not AI might call a shower
shitter like I'm not going to. I'm not I'm just not going to
release in the shower. If I if I use a if I'm using a

(01:00:25):
bulb, I definitely do not. I don't even go into the shower.
I'll just do it sink, squat overthe toilet and do my thing.
Even even with a shower shot, I will full on Penguin waddle to
the toilet, which is just like outside looking in.
I mean, if somebody was a familyon that wall, they'd be like,
Jesus Christ, this child girl. No version of doing this to an

(01:00:48):
observer looks. Yes.
No, no, not at all. So yeah, I just, I find it, I
find it so I find it so interesting and intriguing.
And we've talked about, I mean all different types of it.
So there's I know there's the waffle stomping in the shower,
there's the there's the toilet. We've talked about even like
port a potty experiences when. You're I was about to say that

(01:01:09):
the the proudest thing I have such AI need the merit badge for
for douching, for being at a place like Burning Man and being
able to douche in a porta potty.Yes, in the dark, not sober.
Wow, I. Love without access to running

(01:01:31):
water afterwards other than to wash my hands.
Good for. You get it good.
For you. Yes, so funnily enough, we talk
about that very experience at Burning Man on our our episode
this season called Simply The Fast and it was I we were just
enamored do. You sing on a dime, baby.
Do you sing on a dime? I love it.

(01:01:52):
Yep, love it. I was gonna say there was AI
told, I told Biscuit. There was like a group moment
that I went to not too long ago and the host was just like the
best because he had, you know, things are happening and you
might need to go and freshen up in the bathroom.
And he had like an entire you dothis and then this and then this
and this and then hey, just do what you need.
But he had a process and I was like, wow, what a good host cuz

(01:02:14):
things happen. And he was like, this is what I
have for you. So help yourself, but just make
sure you do this and then this and clean this up when you're
done. And I go.
Wow. OK, this was amazing.
Marvelous, right? So are there any kind of stories
that stand out or or perhaps lore that you've heard over
years past of, of experiences related to this topic, Anything

(01:02:39):
that kind of stands out, whetherthe serious or comical or
otherwise? That I just have a personal
story of a disaster, all right? Sat and.
Raided on us. I was in college and met this
guy on Grinder. He was like the right at the
time that Grinder had come into existence and I had my own room.
I don't and I, I guess I didn't bring him back there because I,

(01:03:00):
I like found him a little like sketchy or pushy or something.
OK, yeah. And I didn't want my my like
apartment mates to see him. OK.
Sure. So I decided to meet him in in
an office that I had keys to andI was just going to blow him and
I was going to be fine. And we did that and he kept

(01:03:22):
asking to fuck me and he was very pushy about it and I kept
saying no. And like today this would be a
red flag of like no means no, fuck off this is done.
But I was 20 or something. Right.
Yeah, Laurenine. Yeah.
You know, I eventually went, cool, if you're gonna push on
this so much and you're gonna ask so much, like, fine, it goes
how you go for it, and it goes all right for a little while.

(01:03:43):
But, you know, I know that I am.I am a person who is never ready
without prep. Yeah, There's no version of
bottoming that goes well unless I've prepped for it.
That's just how my body is, and that is one of the worst,
messiest cases in my life. No, no.
And in the office? And I'm in an office.
Oh, I just. Like, forgot about that.

(01:04:04):
Oh no. That anybody else could come
into at any time. Oh my God.
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Because in my brain I was like, cool, if some, if I hear the key
going like we'll just both yank up our pants quickly.
But now it's a like, oh, that's gonna ruin fucking everything
we're wearing. Yep.
And we're like 50 to 100 feet from a bathroom down the hall
that other people are going to be in.

(01:04:25):
And there are no cleaning supplies in this tiny.
Office. Oh my gosh.
I don't know how I got to the bathroom, but I got to the
bathroom and got paper towels and brought them back to him.
Oh my gosh. And no.
That's where I learned the cool,actually, You know what?
It's everybody's best interest if I hold my line when I feel

(01:04:47):
I'm ready. And I hope that he learns the
lesson of don't push people whenthey say no.
Yes. Oh, no.
Oh, no. I'm sorry that happened.
Yeah. Oh gosh.
We did not get caught by anybody, but oh wow.
Oh no, it's like playing all in my head and like thinking about
being. I probably would have had a
panic attack. I I just think about like,

(01:05:09):
walking into the office the nextmorning and with my little cup
of coffee and like a bran muffinor something, and all of a
sudden I'm like, Oh my. What the.
Yeah. What happened?
Like we didn't get anything. On anything.
Oh, that's good. But it's.
I can't imagine that the smell of it didn't linger in some way.
Yeah. Right, right, right.

(01:05:31):
Yeah, well, well, we appreciate you being open and vulnerable
and sharing that with us and ourlisteners.
You know, gay sex is messy and it's going to happen sometimes,
and we just kind of all got to be chill about it, correct?
And also there are still disasters.
Yes, yes, even even after your best efforts.

(01:05:52):
I mean, I talked about going MPVand having done my hours long
routine and then we get to the bath house later and and I was
like, oh, are you fucking son ofa bitch?
But fortunately, they did have, like a little doujin, a hose
room. Space.
She she put that to work, but. And then we got her full review
after I was like, OK, good to. Know I was like 150 pesos worth

(01:06:15):
it, like 100% my gosh. But this was great.
Yeah. Thank you so much.
You're welcome. I'm glad to be able to share at
least my own technique and I hope it's that.
I hope it helps somebody else. Oh my gosh.
Look for that infographic, it's so useful.
Yes. Absolutely.
It will 100% be posted on our website, shared.

(01:06:37):
Maybe I'll even put it. I'll see if we can put it in our
Spotify notes. Yes, absolutely.
Let me say it again, it is howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com.
I am not involved in making it in any way, I just am so
enthusiastic about its information.
It's a good. Resource We have to share.
We have to talk about things. We've got to communicate, be
open, be vulnerable and just explore.

(01:07:00):
Correct. I agree.
Well, thank you for joining us. This was fantastic.
Thank you so much, John. Yeah, absolutely.
Great talking to you. Well, coming from somebody.
Who? Has spent a lifetime already
douchey and his life away. I multitask, mind you, but still
I. What I took away from it is
that's not going to change. It's.

(01:07:21):
No, it's probably not. So I've just committed to this
life. This is the life.
This is the cross. I bear.
I bear so I can bear back. You know what I mean, right?
OK, nail me. Crucify me.
What I was secretly hoping, Biscuit, was that we were going
to have this conversation that we had today, and it was going
to be, oh, my gosh, you're doingit all wrong.

(01:07:42):
You're going to get like, yeah, lights at the end of the tunnel.
The clouds part. A single ray of sunshine comes
down and illuminates my face anda glorious smile.
Correct, but instead it just furthered the fact that Nope, no
babe, keep doing. It no.
Just Godspeed. Good luck.
Take your fiber, bitch. No, but honestly, fantastic
conversations both with Doctor John and with Jonah.

(01:08:06):
Doctor Jonah. I feel like we got like the
professional, well, both professional perspectives, but
we got a medical professional, yes.
And I guess I'm just gonna say like a real life professional.
You know what I mean I mean. She in the trenches.
She puts in the work, yes, and we appreciate it.
Jesus Christ. So no, it was really lovely.

(01:08:27):
And Yep, I'm gonna go start douching now because Lord knows
what I'm up to tonight. You're.
Gonna need the time and all of the resources that are gonna
come with this episode. I can't wait for that as well.
Yeah, including the that little infographic.
The infographic, I just was ableto pull it up really quickly
just to have it to see and I go,Oh my gosh, it is like so
helpful. It's got all the little
drawings. It's such like play by play and

(01:08:50):
I'm obsessed with. It maybe I'll frame it and put
it up in my bathroom. Wait, yes.
Friendly reminders. You just have a QR code like
above where the toilet paper is and it says Scan for more info.
Yes. Oh, God, I love that.
I think I might do that. Right.
Right. Yeah, Maybe with that, because I
am thinking about getting like alittle like guest bathroom

(01:09:10):
douche, you know? Right.
Wow. I want to be host.
I mean, girl, I've had it. I've needed it in a crisis.
I've little side quest there. I used to.
Now that I don't I need to do itagain.
But I would get doctor John talked a little bit about it,
but just like the the Walgreens plastic ones just to have just
in case if friend was visiting or maybe someone who was staying

(01:09:32):
over it like just so that where is 1 to use.
Yeah, but now I said I don't have one sitting around, so I
need to do that. Well, let's go to Walgreens.
Perfect. Pick up the CVS.
Let's do it. We'll get the receipts with it.
Yep, I love that. All right.
From our fair relationship to yours, I'm Pete.
And I'm Biscuit. And remember.
Have fun, get fucked and get Ferrell.
Bye girlies.