April 25, 2025 • 24 mins
Feel like you're doing everything right - eating healthy and working out more - but your boyd just won't budge? You're not alone.
In this episode, Britany breaks down why fat loss feels harder in your 30s and 40s and how to create the right environment for your body to finally respond.
Britany covers:
- Why calories in/out is true, but not the whole story
- How stress, sleep and mental overload quietly block progress
- What really changes with hormones and muscle mass as women age
- Why your body isn't prioritizing fat loss
- Simple lifestyle routines to support weight loss and muscle gain
This is the science backed filter-free take on why your body feels stuck and what to do about it.
Want support implementing this into your real life? Join here for Britany's live coaching program, The Routine Reset, to get 2x live calls a week, personalized coaching and accountability.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
UNKNOWN (00:00):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:06):
Welcome to the Filter-Free Friday podcast.
I'm your host, BrittanyWilliams, and this is the
podcast that helps you realizethat the distance between the
life that you want to live andthe life that you're currently
living isn't nearly as big asyou think.
How are you?
Listen, I am on the hot messexpress.
I know I always say that, but Ireally am right now.
I don't think I've shared thisout loud publicly.
Maybe I have, but I haven'tworked out in, I think, like two
(00:29):
months, six weeks.
It's been a long time.
I have a chronic back and pelvisinjury that got during pregnancy
as like life does.
Life just generally getsexacerbated during pregnancy.
And I've been stuck in like areally bad movement pattern that
I can't get out of.
So it's not like I'm injured tothe point to where I'm in pain
(00:49):
all the time.
but I'm in this movement patternwhere I continuously tweak my
back and I can't stop tweakingit and my PT finally was just
like girl stop working out for abit like yes I'm doing all the
right things to get my back backto where it should be no pun
intended but I just keep fallingback into a bad pattern in my
(01:11):
workouts and it kind of undoesall the work I do for PT and
it's so counterproductive so I'mstopping working out for a
little while to just focus on onthe productive stuff, which is
the PT work.
And then I'll get back to myworkouts eventually.
But like, if that's not ametaphor for life, I don't know
what it is, right?
Like, we keep repeating badpatterns and habits and keep
(01:33):
like slapping on new shit andhopes it helps.
Like, if I just if I just take aday off, it'll help.
Oh, if I just drink this greentea, it'll help.
But like, sometimes you just gotto slow down and fix the root
issue.
So that's where I'm at.
So if you are a little like on alittle speed bump on your your
health and fitness journey, knowthat you're not alone.
And you may see me working outout in posts that I put on
Instagram but I have not moved amuscle for two months other than
(01:56):
I had a photo shoot for Adidasthis week and I worked out for
like 10 straight hours I can'tsay I recommend that going from
working not working out for twomonths and then working out
straight for for um for 10 hoursit was it was um a lot of fun
but I am very sore very sore Ishare all this because I know at
times it feels like your body isbroken.
(02:18):
I mean, I feel like my body'sbroken, but I know it's not.
Like this body of mine has a lotof good miles left on it as it
does yours, but I have to changethe conditions that my body is
operating under, right?
Like I have to change thescript.
And I share this because I knowyou've been there.
Like I said, we see all thesethings on the internet, whether
they be like magnesium pills orred light therapy or that green
(02:41):
juice that your neighbor swearsby.
And we think it's going to solvethe bad pattern that we continue
to be in.
But in reality, you've got toactually solve the bad pattern.
And I've been having thisconversation a lot lately,
especially when it comes to fatloss, muscle gain, and aging.
Because there is so much mixedmessaging out there, especially
(03:03):
as it comes to what we should bedoing as we get older.
And look, I'm 37.
So I'm not going to sit here andsay that I have all the answers
for menopause But I doabsolutely know...
that fat loss feels harder inyour 30s and 40s.
And most of the women that Iwork with are between the ages
(03:25):
of 30 and 50.
And over the last 10 years, Ihave had a lot of rich
conversation and experience withwomen trying to feel like they
want to make a change in theirbody, but it feels like their
body's just holding on to fat,its current state, whatever that
is, no matter what they do.
And I wanted to do an episodeabout why it feels like fat loss
(03:48):
is harder in your 30s and 40sand how you can get unstuck.
So here's the thing.
Fat loss is indeed a simpleformula, or at least it should
be.
Calories in versus calories out.
You've heard me say it before,and that is true.
But one thing that you can'tlose sight of is the conditions
that your body is under.
When your conditions aren'tsupportive of your goal, your
body is not going to prioritizefat loss.
(04:10):
And like I said, being in acaloric deficit is the way that
you lose fat at any age it's asimple math problem but if
you've ever used one of thoseonline calorie calculators you
know it's not a simple formulabecause first of all every
calculator I swear I've everused spits out a completely
different number and I neverknow how I'm supposed to like
(04:31):
put in am I moderately active orvery active like I remember
using one when I was running 30minutes a day but I was also
sitting on my ass for the other23 hours of the day like how am
I supposed to know what that islike is that active I'm working
out every single day but i'm alazy sack of potatoes sitting in
my cubicle all day like on mycomputer like that i what is
(04:51):
that you know what i'm sayinglike it's so hard to know and
the difference between how manycalories you eat and how many
burn is truly the mechanism thatmatters right like the calorie
counters aren't wrong they'rejust flawed because we cannot
ignore everything else that isgoing on in our life if it was a
(05:11):
simple formula you would knowthe results by now you would you
would have the results by nowbecause you would do the work
and frankly we would all do thework because it would just
simply come down to a formulaand look i don't hate on the the
calculators i think they're agreat tool i think that they
should be a tool though not thenorth star that you follow i'll
never forget a story i heardfrom an nfl nutritionist and she
(05:33):
said there's like two ways thatyou can look at food if we're
going to boil it down to basicsyou can look at food as a number
how many calories does that foodhave or you can look at its
nutrients its macros itsantioxidants its vitamins I
would also argue you could lookat it a third way, which is like
the joy and happiness that itbrings you.
But for the sake of the story,that is what she said.
You can look at it two ways, anumber as calories or nutrients.
(05:55):
The nutrients are what keeps usfeeling good.
They're what keeps the enginerunning smoothly.
But the calories, they're whatkeep us alive.
The body is going to prioritizestaying alive, right?
Like, thank God it does.
It doesn't give a shit about howhealthy your meal is if the meal
doesn't have enough calories.
She gave the example of someonewho doesn't have access to food
regularly.
If someone in that state wasgiven the option to eat a
(06:17):
healthy salad or have like a BigMac at McDonald's, like a
cheeseburger and fries, thecheeseburger and fries is the
best option every single time.
Because first and foremost, thebody's going to prioritize
calories because its generalgoal is to survive.
It doesn't care that, you know,Instagram told you that you need
to eat a salad every day.
It needs to fill that caloricneed first before we worry about
(06:40):
the other details like, am Ieating enough fiber?
Am I getting enough protein?
Just focusing on calories in andcalories out for fat loss is
like getting the lights to turnon.
It is necessary, especially whenit comes to fat loss.
You absolutely have to payattention to how many calories
you're eating and burning tokeep to be in the game, right?
(07:00):
It is getting the lights on.
But it is the conditions thatyour body is operating under
that will determine how brightthat light is, how well that
light is illuminating the roomthat you are trying to walk in.
Same goes for muscle gain.
It's the perfect metaphor, in myopinion.
working out is how we get thebody to gain muscle that's
turning the lights on but howmuch protein you eat how heavy
(07:22):
you lift how you progressivelychallenge yourself over time
that's going to determine howbright that light is how
effective and efficient thatlight is how much muscle you
gain where you gain it how yougain it all of that comes down
to the details not just the oh,I worked out today, right?
And that's why it's socomplicated.
(07:43):
The science behind getting alight to turn on is pretty
simple.
To lose fat, you need a caloricdeficit.
That's really simple to achieve.
But the science on how tobrighten that light, on how to
get there specific for youquickly, to maintain it, to be
efficient about it is socomplicated because there's so
many different factors involved.
(08:04):
The conditions you live yourlife under matter in this
formula.
You cannot just eat lesscalories and work out more and
expect it to work for forever.
You're going to have to look atthe environment that you live in
as well.
your sleep, your stress, youreveryday activity, quality of
your food, your mental load,like all that stuff that we
(08:24):
don't really want to have tofocus on, that creates the
conditions that your bodyoperates under.
I know I've said that a lot, butI want to really get this
through.
You have to think of theenvironment that your body is
in.
The goal should be to try to getyour body out of this survival
mode and into a more optimizedenvironment for your goal.
(08:45):
When you're stressed, sleepdeprived, under fueled, your
routine is not optimized for fatloss or muscle gain.
It doesn't matter what your goalis.
That is not the optimizedroutine.
It doesn't mean it's not gonnahappen, but it's gonna be a hell
of a lot harder.
You're probably gonna plateaufaster or more often, I should
say.
And it's gonna be more of arollercoaster ride than
(09:06):
consistent results.
And when life is hard on yourbody and you know it, if you
know that kind of stress thatyou carry in your day-to-day
life that just takes a toll onyou, your body is not going to
want to prioritize somethinglike fat loss.
It's going to want to prioritizejust keeping things afloat, just
running.
It doesn't want to shed pounds,right?
(09:27):
When you are stressed, the lastthing you want to do is shed
some weight and follow yourdiet.
You just want to feelcomfortable.
That's your body giving you asign that it's prioritizing,
keeping you afloat, not changingwhat you look like when you look
in the mirror.
And look, this is the case atany age, right?
Like everything I just saidapplies at any age, but it does
(09:51):
feel harder at 35 and 45 than itdid in our 20s.
Like I'll be the first one tosay that.
And people love to point out,oh, it's your slowing
metabolism.
Oh, your hormones are changing.
Yes, yes, those are factors.
Yes, our metabolism can changeand it does change.
And yes, things like estrogenstart to decline and that
(10:12):
impacts fat storage.
And you see people in the newskind of fear-mongering, for lack
of a better word, trying to sellsupplements and specific diets
that are going to solve yourhormone imbalances and your
metabolism.
But what I never hear them talkabout is the biggest thing that
has changed in your life sinceyour 20s.
And it's not your hormones andit's not your metabolism.
(10:34):
You're more stressed becauseyou've got kids.
You've got aging parents.
You have more responsibilitiesat work.
You have more at stake at home.
You're sleeping less becausethere's more to do.
You're spending way less timerelaxing in your 30s and 40s
than you did in your 20s.
You're eating less because youthink it's the only thing you
can control when it comes toyour body weight.
You're fitting in randomworkouts when ignoring any signs
(10:57):
of rest and recovery because youdon't want to get off track.
You have all these very realstressors in your life at 37 and
you think that your body isgoing to respond the same as it
did when you were 22.
Your biggest worry when you were22 was what you were going to
wear out on a Friday night.
I mean, come on, that is not afair comparison of your life
today to the woman that you wereat 22 and that has nothing to do
(11:20):
with with, like I said,metabolism or hormones or aging.
Your life has gotten morecomplicated.
And fat loss and muscle gainwill not happen in your body if
it's not supported.
So you have to think aboutthings like sleeping enough,
eating enough, balancingstrength training and cardio,
reducing everyday stress.
That's how you build the rightenvironment for fat loss and
(11:43):
muscle gain.
It's not because your body isdeteriorating or that you need
to biohack your metabolism orbalance your hormones with some
special diet.
You just need to give your bodythe space and support it needs
to flourish.
Look, simply put, lifestylefactors have a greater impact on
fat loss than age-relatedhormones and metabolism changes
in your 30s and 40s.
I'm still going to talk aboutthose changes that happen in our
(12:07):
body that we cannot controlbecause I think they're worth
mentioning.
They're not something small tojust gloss over, but I don't
want you to fear them.
I don't want you to think thatyou cannot control the
trajectory of your life justbecause your body is starting to
change as you get older.
Both estrogen and muscle massstart to decline in your 30s.
(12:27):
Again, I'm not saying this tofearmonger.
I am saying this to educate you.
Many women believe that thishormone shift, like the estrogen
shift, causes weight gain.
But specifically in your 30s and40s, this estrogen decline is
more going to impact where youhold onto fat, not how much fat
you have.
(12:47):
So it's not that it's causingyou to gain weight.
It's just shifting where the fatlies on your body.
So premenopausal women tend tohold fat in their hips, their
thighs, and their glutes.
But as you shift intoperimenopause and into
menopause, the decline inestrogen will shift more fat
into your abdomen.
(13:07):
Again, it's not necessarily thatyou're gaining weight, but when
you look in the mirror, it mayfeel like it because I wanna
have nice abs, but suddenly whenI see as I get older, that more
fat is going to shift towardsthat area in the body.
Your body is going to change.
But again, you gain fat when youare in a caloric surplus, not
(13:30):
just because suddenly you got 10years older, right?
As you move towards menopause,the estrogen decline does impact
things like insulin resistance,and that can lead to higher
blood pressure, which can impactweight gain.
But to be clear, this is a veryslow process.
This does not happen overnightin your 30s or 40s.
(13:51):
And I think that's what'simportant to note, that it's not
like you turn 30 or 40 or even50 or 60 and suddenly things go
to shit.
It is a slow decline thathonestly, with the right focus,
you can make so much morepositive impact to your body in
the short term that negates thenegative impact that the long
(14:12):
term, the long term negativeimpact that aging has.
The perfect example of this ismuscle decline.
So we lose about three to eightpercent of muscle mass per
decade starting in our 30s.
And this is important to knowfor fat loss in particular,
because having a lower musclemass means a lower metabolic
rate.
And that basically metabolicrate is a fancy term for how
many calories you burn at rest,like just being you.
(14:34):
How many calories does it taketo keep you alive?
The more muscle you have, themore calories it takes to keep
you alive.
You're going to burn faster.
So if you're losing muscle massover time, your metabolic rate
slows down and it takes lesscalories to keep you erect and
upright and like live in life,right?
So the decline is going to hurtour case when it comes to being
(14:58):
in a caloric deficit becauseit's going to be harder to burn
calories.
But the good news is simply withstrength training properly, you
can gain muscle at any age it'snot like you're starting in this
massive hole that you have todig out to be like everybody
else if you have a goodstructured sound strength
(15:18):
training program you canovercome that muscle decline and
it be a complete non-factor it'snot like we get into our 30s and
40s and just our bodies start toshrivel up and we'll just never
be the same again that isabsolutely not the case because
you're 30 and 40 it's not likeyou suddenly can't grow I don't
want to gloss over the fact thatyour body does change in your
(15:40):
30s and 40s, but to think thatthat change is the sole cause of
your body's decline is franklynot true.
If you aren't addressing all ofthe other things like your poor
sleep, your stress, your lack ofmovement throughout the day,
those things you can control.
And those things make up way,way more when it comes to how
(16:04):
much fat you're going to lose,how much muscle you're going to
gain, and generally, Generally,just how you feel.
Your lifestyle.
So think sleep, stress, movementthroughout the day.
That's the car that you're in.
Your lifestyle is in thedriver's seat.
How fast the car is going to go,like your engine, that's your
muscle mass and how much youhave of it, right?
Like that's that engine that'sburning calories.
(16:25):
You'll burn more calories if youhave more muscle mass.
The engine of the car, you willgo faster, right?
The changes that I talked aboutin your hormones, in your
estrogen, in your metabolism,anything that's due to aging is
going to set the terrain thatyou're driving on.
Is it a flat road or is ituphill?
Is it bumpy or is it flat?
Are there potholes or not?
(16:45):
Like if we're trying to get frompoint A to point B, you want a
good car with a fast engine andyou want a flat road.
Well, I can tell you now ifyou're in your 30s and 40s and
beyond, that road is going tostart to get bumpy.
It's going to start to be uphilland it's not going to be this
easy, breezy, beautiful, youknow, journey like it was in
your 20s.
Okay, we'll be honest here.
But that doesn't mean you can'tsoup out your car so it is so
(17:10):
freaking good.
It is so rock solid that doesnot matter what the terrain is.
If you've got a good car, youget to go from point A to point
B as fast as you freaking wantto because you've invested in
how you feel.
That's where your lifestylecomes into play.
So things that aren't servingyou, checking your email within
five minutes of waking up,skipping breakfast, working out
(17:31):
six days a and ignoring recoverydays, drinking too much
caffeine, stressing over whetheror not your kid's gonna get
sick.
All of that is draining yoursystem and it's slowing your car
down.
And even if you're eating well,you think you're in a caloric
deficit, you work out a lot,You're doing the things to keep
the light on, but your light maybe flickering.
It may be dull because yourlifestyle has not been
(17:53):
addressed.
You have to address theenvironment that you're in if
you want to see change andsustain that change.
So how do we make this shift?
First of all, I'm going to sayit.
You need fucking sleep.
I'm sorry to curse, but it'strue.
People ask me all the time ifthey should wake up an hour
earlier to fit a workout in.
And my answer is consistent.
(18:15):
If you are always consistentlygetting less than seven hours of
sleep, no, you shouldn't besacrificing an hour of sleep to
work out.
It's better for you to get thesleep in than it is to do the
workout.
Second, you should be movingmore often throughout your day
than just your workout.
Our bodies were not built to sitin a chair all day.
(18:36):
And look, personally, I'm bad atthis one.
I have to consciously plan timesto move throughout my day.
I know you don't think that'sthe case because I'm a fitness
trainer, but I truly like I willsit in a chair.
My butt will be suctioned tothis chair all day if I let it.
I have to schedule it.
It doesn't come natural to me.
And so if it doesn't comenatural to you, girl, you ain't
alone.
Third, you need to be eatingenough, especially protein and
(18:58):
fiber.
Undereating does you no good.
If you're trying to lose fat,yes, being in a deficit is going
to be necessary, but it's asmall caloric deficit.
It does not need to be huge.
Skipping meals is a surefire wayto keep your light dull, in my
opinion.
And finally, here comes a littlebit more tough love.
You are going to need to reduceyour mental overload.
(19:20):
You need simpler routines tohandle your stress because look,
life is going to throw stress atus, right?
The goal should not be to have astress-free life.
The goal is to have a life thatresponds to stress without
requiring this Herculean effort.
You cannot get rid of stress inyour life, but you can change
how you react to it and that'show you're going to set up your
environment to be more optimizedfor fat loss for muscle gain and
(19:43):
for feeling better in your bodyevery single day women throw
more on their plate trying tosolve stress with more chaos and
I so badly want to help yourecognize that you cannot fight
burnout with hustle you have tobuild the right framework in
your mind in your schedule andin your day if you want your
body to be supported enough tolose weight to gain muscle and
(20:04):
to feel good like you have tohave an optimized life and I'm
not saying it needs to becompletely overhauled.
I'm just saying you need to editit.
You need to simplify it so thatyou wake up feeling supported
and then you can go and tacklethe stresses of the day and
achieve your goals when it comesto your body.
(20:24):
If this resonates with you andyou need help implementing this,
there's a link in the show notesto join the Routine Reset.
This is my live coachingprogram.
You get calls with me two timesa week to highlight where you
need to refine your routine Andit helps provide the motivation
and accountability to changewhat you don't love in your
life.
I want to personally hold yourhand as you achieve your goals.
(20:45):
Because listen, your body isn'tworking against you.
It wants you to feel good again.
But it's only going to respondto the signals that you give it.
So we've got to improve thesignals you're sending.
We've got to create the rightenvironment so that it can
respond in the way that you wantand you will feel better for it.
It's not just about turning thelight on.
It's about keeping that lightbright.
If you've been listening to thepodcast for any length of time,
(21:06):
you know what I mean.
know that I like to keep thingssimple.
Give me effective and efficient.
And I see so many of thesolutions that are being pushed
out to women in the world.
And there are these complicatedlife altering overhauls that
women need to apply.
Or there are these really,really quick fixes like a green
juice.
And I'm like, these are bothextremes.
Give me simple but stilleffective.
(21:28):
And I so badly want to just helpwomen.
Come into their own and comeinto their strength.
And that starts with ourmindset.
And I know that as a fitnesstrainer, I've spent the past
decade helping people, you know,look good and feel good in their
body.
But I need to better addresshelping people look good and
feel good in their mind.
Because if we do that first,man, you can achieve anything.
(21:51):
And I know, and I know, I feelit's a little silly saying that.
I am sitting here LOLing atmyself because I've been sitting
on my own personal ass for thelast two months not working out
while I talk to you about all ofthis.
But I think it's like theperfect kind of like example to
give you.
If we're being honest, it feelslike a big ass setback.
Like I can see myself gettingsofter in the mirror, I'll be
(22:14):
honest.
I can see myself losing muscleand that, for anyone, feels like
a serious setback.
But for someone who you knowsells workout programs and is in
a sports bra online in front ofhundreds of thousands of people
for a living it feels like amassive setback for me but I
know it's not I'm truly not evenworried about it because I know
(22:35):
it's a blip on the radar it is arounding error and the reason I
feel that way is because I havetaken so much time to work on my
mindset and my confidence notonly with just how my body looks
but with how I show up whenthere is a setback in my life
and I want to help you build asystem so the next time you have
a setback, you can staypositive, you can adjust your
(22:57):
mindset, and you keep movingforward.
Like at the end of the day, thatis the goal.
Remember, your body is notworking against you.
It's responding to the signalsthat you send it.
So change the signals and changethe story.
I know that fat loss is asticky, sticky, sticky subject.
I know it's very personable, andI know that every woman is
(23:17):
different, but I think that if Ican help educate you on some of
the larger macro things that arehappening in your own body I
guess maybe we would call themmicro things that are happening
in your own body hopefully a itmakes you feel better that you
know you're not spiraling andyou're not completely out of
control but be also help yourealize what you can focus on
and what you can control so thatyou can feel better right at the
(23:39):
end of the day that's that's allI want I just want you to feel
better okay thank you so muchfor listening if you enjoyed
this episode I would love if youcould comment your thoughts if
you're on Spotify leave a reviewif you're on Apple it would be
much appreciated and I hope youhave a fantastic filter-free
Friday.
Thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (00:06):
Welcome to the Filter-Free Friday podcast.
I'm your host, BrittanyWilliams, and this is the
podcast that helps you realizethat the distance between the
life that you want to live andthe life that you're currently
living isn't nearly as big asyou think.
How are you?
Listen, I am on the hot messexpress.
I know I always say that, but Ireally am right now.
I don't think I've shared thisout loud publicly.
Maybe I have, but I haven'tworked out in, I think, like two
(00:29):
months, six weeks.
It's been a long time.
I have a chronic back and pelvisinjury that got during pregnancy
as like life does.
Life just generally getsexacerbated during pregnancy.
And I've been stuck in like areally bad movement pattern that
I can't get out of.
So it's not like I'm injured tothe point to where I'm in pain
(00:49):
all the time.
but I'm in this movement patternwhere I continuously tweak my
back and I can't stop tweakingit and my PT finally was just
like girl stop working out for abit like yes I'm doing all the
right things to get my back backto where it should be no pun
intended but I just keep fallingback into a bad pattern in my
(01:11):
workouts and it kind of undoesall the work I do for PT and
it's so counterproductive so I'mstopping working out for a
little while to just focus on onthe productive stuff, which is
the PT work.
And then I'll get back to myworkouts eventually.
But like, if that's not ametaphor for life, I don't know
what it is, right?
Like, we keep repeating badpatterns and habits and keep
(01:33):
like slapping on new shit andhopes it helps.
Like, if I just if I just take aday off, it'll help.
Oh, if I just drink this greentea, it'll help.
But like, sometimes you just gotto slow down and fix the root
issue.
So that's where I'm at.
So if you are a little like on alittle speed bump on your your
health and fitness journey, knowthat you're not alone.
And you may see me working outout in posts that I put on
Instagram but I have not moved amuscle for two months other than
(01:56):
I had a photo shoot for Adidasthis week and I worked out for
like 10 straight hours I can'tsay I recommend that going from
working not working out for twomonths and then working out
straight for for um for 10 hoursit was it was um a lot of fun
but I am very sore very sore Ishare all this because I know at
times it feels like your body isbroken.
(02:18):
I mean, I feel like my body'sbroken, but I know it's not.
Like this body of mine has a lotof good miles left on it as it
does yours, but I have to changethe conditions that my body is
operating under, right?
Like I have to change thescript.
And I share this because I knowyou've been there.
Like I said, we see all thesethings on the internet, whether
they be like magnesium pills orred light therapy or that green
(02:41):
juice that your neighbor swearsby.
And we think it's going to solvethe bad pattern that we continue
to be in.
But in reality, you've got toactually solve the bad pattern.
And I've been having thisconversation a lot lately,
especially when it comes to fatloss, muscle gain, and aging.
Because there is so much mixedmessaging out there, especially
(03:03):
as it comes to what we should bedoing as we get older.
And look, I'm 37.
So I'm not going to sit here andsay that I have all the answers
for menopause But I doabsolutely know...
that fat loss feels harder inyour 30s and 40s.
And most of the women that Iwork with are between the ages
(03:25):
of 30 and 50.
And over the last 10 years, Ihave had a lot of rich
conversation and experience withwomen trying to feel like they
want to make a change in theirbody, but it feels like their
body's just holding on to fat,its current state, whatever that
is, no matter what they do.
And I wanted to do an episodeabout why it feels like fat loss
(03:48):
is harder in your 30s and 40sand how you can get unstuck.
So here's the thing.
Fat loss is indeed a simpleformula, or at least it should
be.
Calories in versus calories out.
You've heard me say it before,and that is true.
But one thing that you can'tlose sight of is the conditions
that your body is under.
When your conditions aren'tsupportive of your goal, your
body is not going to prioritizefat loss.
(04:10):
And like I said, being in acaloric deficit is the way that
you lose fat at any age it's asimple math problem but if
you've ever used one of thoseonline calorie calculators you
know it's not a simple formulabecause first of all every
calculator I swear I've everused spits out a completely
different number and I neverknow how I'm supposed to like
(04:31):
put in am I moderately active orvery active like I remember
using one when I was running 30minutes a day but I was also
sitting on my ass for the other23 hours of the day like how am
I supposed to know what that islike is that active I'm working
out every single day but i'm alazy sack of potatoes sitting in
my cubicle all day like on mycomputer like that i what is
(04:51):
that you know what i'm sayinglike it's so hard to know and
the difference between how manycalories you eat and how many
burn is truly the mechanism thatmatters right like the calorie
counters aren't wrong they'rejust flawed because we cannot
ignore everything else that isgoing on in our life if it was a
(05:11):
simple formula you would knowthe results by now you would you
would have the results by nowbecause you would do the work
and frankly we would all do thework because it would just
simply come down to a formulaand look i don't hate on the the
calculators i think they're agreat tool i think that they
should be a tool though not thenorth star that you follow i'll
never forget a story i heardfrom an nfl nutritionist and she
(05:33):
said there's like two ways thatyou can look at food if we're
going to boil it down to basicsyou can look at food as a number
how many calories does that foodhave or you can look at its
nutrients its macros itsantioxidants its vitamins I
would also argue you could lookat it a third way, which is like
the joy and happiness that itbrings you.
But for the sake of the story,that is what she said.
You can look at it two ways, anumber as calories or nutrients.
(05:55):
The nutrients are what keeps usfeeling good.
They're what keeps the enginerunning smoothly.
But the calories, they're whatkeep us alive.
The body is going to prioritizestaying alive, right?
Like, thank God it does.
It doesn't give a shit about howhealthy your meal is if the meal
doesn't have enough calories.
She gave the example of someonewho doesn't have access to food
regularly.
If someone in that state wasgiven the option to eat a
(06:17):
healthy salad or have like a BigMac at McDonald's, like a
cheeseburger and fries, thecheeseburger and fries is the
best option every single time.
Because first and foremost, thebody's going to prioritize
calories because its generalgoal is to survive.
It doesn't care that, you know,Instagram told you that you need
to eat a salad every day.
It needs to fill that caloricneed first before we worry about
(06:40):
the other details like, am Ieating enough fiber?
Am I getting enough protein?
Just focusing on calories in andcalories out for fat loss is
like getting the lights to turnon.
It is necessary, especially whenit comes to fat loss.
You absolutely have to payattention to how many calories
you're eating and burning tokeep to be in the game, right?
(07:00):
It is getting the lights on.
But it is the conditions thatyour body is operating under
that will determine how brightthat light is, how well that
light is illuminating the roomthat you are trying to walk in.
Same goes for muscle gain.
It's the perfect metaphor, in myopinion.
working out is how we get thebody to gain muscle that's
turning the lights on but howmuch protein you eat how heavy
(07:22):
you lift how you progressivelychallenge yourself over time
that's going to determine howbright that light is how
effective and efficient thatlight is how much muscle you
gain where you gain it how yougain it all of that comes down
to the details not just the oh,I worked out today, right?
And that's why it's socomplicated.
(07:43):
The science behind getting alight to turn on is pretty
simple.
To lose fat, you need a caloricdeficit.
That's really simple to achieve.
But the science on how tobrighten that light, on how to
get there specific for youquickly, to maintain it, to be
efficient about it is socomplicated because there's so
many different factors involved.
(08:04):
The conditions you live yourlife under matter in this
formula.
You cannot just eat lesscalories and work out more and
expect it to work for forever.
You're going to have to look atthe environment that you live in
as well.
your sleep, your stress, youreveryday activity, quality of
your food, your mental load,like all that stuff that we
(08:24):
don't really want to have tofocus on, that creates the
conditions that your bodyoperates under.
I know I've said that a lot, butI want to really get this
through.
You have to think of theenvironment that your body is
in.
The goal should be to try to getyour body out of this survival
mode and into a more optimizedenvironment for your goal.
(08:45):
When you're stressed, sleepdeprived, under fueled, your
routine is not optimized for fatloss or muscle gain.
It doesn't matter what your goalis.
That is not the optimizedroutine.
It doesn't mean it's not gonnahappen, but it's gonna be a hell
of a lot harder.
You're probably gonna plateaufaster or more often, I should
say.
And it's gonna be more of arollercoaster ride than
(09:06):
consistent results.
And when life is hard on yourbody and you know it, if you
know that kind of stress thatyou carry in your day-to-day
life that just takes a toll onyou, your body is not going to
want to prioritize somethinglike fat loss.
It's going to want to prioritizejust keeping things afloat, just
running.
It doesn't want to shed pounds,right?
(09:27):
When you are stressed, the lastthing you want to do is shed
some weight and follow yourdiet.
You just want to feelcomfortable.
That's your body giving you asign that it's prioritizing,
keeping you afloat, not changingwhat you look like when you look
in the mirror.
And look, this is the case atany age, right?
Like everything I just saidapplies at any age, but it does
(09:51):
feel harder at 35 and 45 than itdid in our 20s.
Like I'll be the first one tosay that.
And people love to point out,oh, it's your slowing
metabolism.
Oh, your hormones are changing.
Yes, yes, those are factors.
Yes, our metabolism can changeand it does change.
And yes, things like estrogenstart to decline and that
(10:12):
impacts fat storage.
And you see people in the newskind of fear-mongering, for lack
of a better word, trying to sellsupplements and specific diets
that are going to solve yourhormone imbalances and your
metabolism.
But what I never hear them talkabout is the biggest thing that
has changed in your life sinceyour 20s.
And it's not your hormones andit's not your metabolism.
(10:34):
You're more stressed becauseyou've got kids.
You've got aging parents.
You have more responsibilitiesat work.
You have more at stake at home.
You're sleeping less becausethere's more to do.
You're spending way less timerelaxing in your 30s and 40s
than you did in your 20s.
You're eating less because youthink it's the only thing you
can control when it comes toyour body weight.
You're fitting in randomworkouts when ignoring any signs
(10:57):
of rest and recovery because youdon't want to get off track.
You have all these very realstressors in your life at 37 and
you think that your body isgoing to respond the same as it
did when you were 22.
Your biggest worry when you were22 was what you were going to
wear out on a Friday night.
I mean, come on, that is not afair comparison of your life
today to the woman that you wereat 22 and that has nothing to do
(11:20):
with with, like I said,metabolism or hormones or aging.
Your life has gotten morecomplicated.
And fat loss and muscle gainwill not happen in your body if
it's not supported.
So you have to think aboutthings like sleeping enough,
eating enough, balancingstrength training and cardio,
reducing everyday stress.
That's how you build the rightenvironment for fat loss and
(11:43):
muscle gain.
It's not because your body isdeteriorating or that you need
to biohack your metabolism orbalance your hormones with some
special diet.
You just need to give your bodythe space and support it needs
to flourish.
Look, simply put, lifestylefactors have a greater impact on
fat loss than age-relatedhormones and metabolism changes
in your 30s and 40s.
I'm still going to talk aboutthose changes that happen in our
(12:07):
body that we cannot controlbecause I think they're worth
mentioning.
They're not something small tojust gloss over, but I don't
want you to fear them.
I don't want you to think thatyou cannot control the
trajectory of your life justbecause your body is starting to
change as you get older.
Both estrogen and muscle massstart to decline in your 30s.
(12:27):
Again, I'm not saying this tofearmonger.
I am saying this to educate you.
Many women believe that thishormone shift, like the estrogen
shift, causes weight gain.
But specifically in your 30s and40s, this estrogen decline is
more going to impact where youhold onto fat, not how much fat
you have.
(12:47):
So it's not that it's causingyou to gain weight.
It's just shifting where the fatlies on your body.
So premenopausal women tend tohold fat in their hips, their
thighs, and their glutes.
But as you shift intoperimenopause and into
menopause, the decline inestrogen will shift more fat
into your abdomen.
(13:07):
Again, it's not necessarily thatyou're gaining weight, but when
you look in the mirror, it mayfeel like it because I wanna
have nice abs, but suddenly whenI see as I get older, that more
fat is going to shift towardsthat area in the body.
Your body is going to change.
But again, you gain fat when youare in a caloric surplus, not
(13:30):
just because suddenly you got 10years older, right?
As you move towards menopause,the estrogen decline does impact
things like insulin resistance,and that can lead to higher
blood pressure, which can impactweight gain.
But to be clear, this is a veryslow process.
This does not happen overnightin your 30s or 40s.
(13:51):
And I think that's what'simportant to note, that it's not
like you turn 30 or 40 or even50 or 60 and suddenly things go
to shit.
It is a slow decline thathonestly, with the right focus,
you can make so much morepositive impact to your body in
the short term that negates thenegative impact that the long
(14:12):
term, the long term negativeimpact that aging has.
The perfect example of this ismuscle decline.
So we lose about three to eightpercent of muscle mass per
decade starting in our 30s.
And this is important to knowfor fat loss in particular,
because having a lower musclemass means a lower metabolic
rate.
And that basically metabolicrate is a fancy term for how
many calories you burn at rest,like just being you.
(14:34):
How many calories does it taketo keep you alive?
The more muscle you have, themore calories it takes to keep
you alive.
You're going to burn faster.
So if you're losing muscle massover time, your metabolic rate
slows down and it takes lesscalories to keep you erect and
upright and like live in life,right?
So the decline is going to hurtour case when it comes to being
(14:58):
in a caloric deficit becauseit's going to be harder to burn
calories.
But the good news is simply withstrength training properly, you
can gain muscle at any age it'snot like you're starting in this
massive hole that you have todig out to be like everybody
else if you have a goodstructured sound strength
(15:18):
training program you canovercome that muscle decline and
it be a complete non-factor it'snot like we get into our 30s and
40s and just our bodies start toshrivel up and we'll just never
be the same again that isabsolutely not the case because
you're 30 and 40 it's not likeyou suddenly can't grow I don't
want to gloss over the fact thatyour body does change in your
(15:40):
30s and 40s, but to think thatthat change is the sole cause of
your body's decline is franklynot true.
If you aren't addressing all ofthe other things like your poor
sleep, your stress, your lack ofmovement throughout the day,
those things you can control.
And those things make up way,way more when it comes to how
(16:04):
much fat you're going to lose,how much muscle you're going to
gain, and generally, Generally,just how you feel.
Your lifestyle.
So think sleep, stress, movementthroughout the day.
That's the car that you're in.
Your lifestyle is in thedriver's seat.
How fast the car is going to go,like your engine, that's your
muscle mass and how much youhave of it, right?
Like that's that engine that'sburning calories.
(16:25):
You'll burn more calories if youhave more muscle mass.
The engine of the car, you willgo faster, right?
The changes that I talked aboutin your hormones, in your
estrogen, in your metabolism,anything that's due to aging is
going to set the terrain thatyou're driving on.
Is it a flat road or is ituphill?
Is it bumpy or is it flat?
Are there potholes or not?
(16:45):
Like if we're trying to get frompoint A to point B, you want a
good car with a fast engine andyou want a flat road.
Well, I can tell you now ifyou're in your 30s and 40s and
beyond, that road is going tostart to get bumpy.
It's going to start to be uphilland it's not going to be this
easy, breezy, beautiful, youknow, journey like it was in
your 20s.
Okay, we'll be honest here.
But that doesn't mean you can'tsoup out your car so it is so
(17:10):
freaking good.
It is so rock solid that doesnot matter what the terrain is.
If you've got a good car, youget to go from point A to point
B as fast as you freaking wantto because you've invested in
how you feel.
That's where your lifestylecomes into play.
So things that aren't servingyou, checking your email within
five minutes of waking up,skipping breakfast, working out
(17:31):
six days a and ignoring recoverydays, drinking too much
caffeine, stressing over whetheror not your kid's gonna get
sick.
All of that is draining yoursystem and it's slowing your car
down.
And even if you're eating well,you think you're in a caloric
deficit, you work out a lot,You're doing the things to keep
the light on, but your light maybe flickering.
It may be dull because yourlifestyle has not been
(17:53):
addressed.
You have to address theenvironment that you're in if
you want to see change andsustain that change.
So how do we make this shift?
First of all, I'm going to sayit.
You need fucking sleep.
I'm sorry to curse, but it'strue.
People ask me all the time ifthey should wake up an hour
earlier to fit a workout in.
And my answer is consistent.
(18:15):
If you are always consistentlygetting less than seven hours of
sleep, no, you shouldn't besacrificing an hour of sleep to
work out.
It's better for you to get thesleep in than it is to do the
workout.
Second, you should be movingmore often throughout your day
than just your workout.
Our bodies were not built to sitin a chair all day.
(18:36):
And look, personally, I'm bad atthis one.
I have to consciously plan timesto move throughout my day.
I know you don't think that'sthe case because I'm a fitness
trainer, but I truly like I willsit in a chair.
My butt will be suctioned tothis chair all day if I let it.
I have to schedule it.
It doesn't come natural to me.
And so if it doesn't comenatural to you, girl, you ain't
alone.
Third, you need to be eatingenough, especially protein and
(18:58):
fiber.
Undereating does you no good.
If you're trying to lose fat,yes, being in a deficit is going
to be necessary, but it's asmall caloric deficit.
It does not need to be huge.
Skipping meals is a surefire wayto keep your light dull, in my
opinion.
And finally, here comes a littlebit more tough love.
You are going to need to reduceyour mental overload.
(19:20):
You need simpler routines tohandle your stress because look,
life is going to throw stress atus, right?
The goal should not be to have astress-free life.
The goal is to have a life thatresponds to stress without
requiring this Herculean effort.
You cannot get rid of stress inyour life, but you can change
how you react to it and that'show you're going to set up your
environment to be more optimizedfor fat loss for muscle gain and
(19:43):
for feeling better in your bodyevery single day women throw
more on their plate trying tosolve stress with more chaos and
I so badly want to help yourecognize that you cannot fight
burnout with hustle you have tobuild the right framework in
your mind in your schedule andin your day if you want your
body to be supported enough tolose weight to gain muscle and
(20:04):
to feel good like you have tohave an optimized life and I'm
not saying it needs to becompletely overhauled.
I'm just saying you need to editit.
You need to simplify it so thatyou wake up feeling supported
and then you can go and tacklethe stresses of the day and
achieve your goals when it comesto your body.
(20:24):
If this resonates with you andyou need help implementing this,
there's a link in the show notesto join the Routine Reset.
This is my live coachingprogram.
You get calls with me two timesa week to highlight where you
need to refine your routine Andit helps provide the motivation
and accountability to changewhat you don't love in your
life.
I want to personally hold yourhand as you achieve your goals.
(20:45):
Because listen, your body isn'tworking against you.
It wants you to feel good again.
But it's only going to respondto the signals that you give it.
So we've got to improve thesignals you're sending.
We've got to create the rightenvironment so that it can
respond in the way that you wantand you will feel better for it.
It's not just about turning thelight on.
It's about keeping that lightbright.
If you've been listening to thepodcast for any length of time,
(21:06):
you know what I mean.
know that I like to keep thingssimple.
Give me effective and efficient.
And I see so many of thesolutions that are being pushed
out to women in the world.
And there are these complicatedlife altering overhauls that
women need to apply.
Or there are these really,really quick fixes like a green
juice.
And I'm like, these are bothextremes.
Give me simple but stilleffective.
(21:28):
And I so badly want to just helpwomen.
Come into their own and comeinto their strength.
And that starts with ourmindset.
And I know that as a fitnesstrainer, I've spent the past
decade helping people, you know,look good and feel good in their
body.
But I need to better addresshelping people look good and
feel good in their mind.
Because if we do that first,man, you can achieve anything.
(21:51):
And I know, and I know, I feelit's a little silly saying that.
I am sitting here LOLing atmyself because I've been sitting
on my own personal ass for thelast two months not working out
while I talk to you about all ofthis.
But I think it's like theperfect kind of like example to
give you.
If we're being honest, it feelslike a big ass setback.
Like I can see myself gettingsofter in the mirror, I'll be
(22:14):
honest.
I can see myself losing muscleand that, for anyone, feels like
a serious setback.
But for someone who you knowsells workout programs and is in
a sports bra online in front ofhundreds of thousands of people
for a living it feels like amassive setback for me but I
know it's not I'm truly not evenworried about it because I know
(22:35):
it's a blip on the radar it is arounding error and the reason I
feel that way is because I havetaken so much time to work on my
mindset and my confidence notonly with just how my body looks
but with how I show up whenthere is a setback in my life
and I want to help you build asystem so the next time you have
a setback, you can staypositive, you can adjust your
(22:57):
mindset, and you keep movingforward.
Like at the end of the day, thatis the goal.
Remember, your body is notworking against you.
It's responding to the signalsthat you send it.
So change the signals and changethe story.
I know that fat loss is asticky, sticky, sticky subject.
I know it's very personable, andI know that every woman is
(23:17):
different, but I think that if Ican help educate you on some of
the larger macro things that arehappening in your own body I
guess maybe we would call themmicro things that are happening
in your own body hopefully a itmakes you feel better that you
know you're not spiraling andyou're not completely out of
control but be also help yourealize what you can focus on
and what you can control so thatyou can feel better right at the
(23:39):
end of the day that's that's allI want I just want you to feel
better okay thank you so muchfor listening if you enjoyed
this episode I would love if youcould comment your thoughts if
you're on Spotify leave a reviewif you're on Apple it would be
much appreciated and I hope youhave a fantastic filter-free
Friday.
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