Ep5: Sir, a second Camel has hit Mark Hamill

John "viewbotted" our show using the local Apple Store, the importance of a "glass of juice", how to win Russian Roulette using a Glock, the Sex Offender on the Roof, and a second Camel has hit the Mark Hamill.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello everyone and welcome

(00:04):
He's too busy making silly noises
He's he's struggling to put the cigar in his mouth keep it in keep it in. You need your baby bottle
You need the baby bottle buddy
We're keeping it all in we're keeping it all in
Oh, it's staying in

(00:26):
Hello everyone and welcome to the Final Three Braincells podcast. I am John Cody, NanoBunTV and aaaaaaa
Yeah, his name is aaaaaaa
Please. Gears. perfect gears perfect and our and our top story tonight
Dave Green one of the four monkeymen has received a concussion last week at the mattress store

(00:47):
I want us to say that the monkeys were testing best till one fell off and bonked his head. Oh
Yeah, I was so confused where you were going with this
You're the monkey who bonked his head. What a skill issue. Honestly, we got some things to talk about tonight
This is episode five
Hope you guys have been enjoying the past couple of episodes a couple things to recap last week

(01:08):
We were talking a lot about the thousand-year door because we thought that last week's episode was gonna go up
The day that the thousand-year door releases
after
We were wrong that that comes that that yep that episode comes out a week or fuckers
So anyways, happy actual release of the thousand-year door. I think it's today. Wait, no, hey editor

(01:30):
Nano here
So as it turns out last week's episode did actually come out the same week of the thousand-year door as it was
Originally intended to except we did get our math wrong
But then it ended up getting delayed a week anyways
And the one week delay caused it to coincide with the release date like we originally thought it was going to

(01:52):
I'm still just gonna leave this whole part of this episode in because I don't want to cut out all too much
But yeah, just letting you know last week was actually the release of the thousand-year door. So that worked out. Perfect
No, I think another thing I remembered is that it's not on a Saturday. It's on a Thursday
Isn't it the game releases on a Thursday?
It's on a Thursday. That doesn't mean I won't be streaming it on the Saturday

(02:13):
John go
Go watch John's twitch that is probably live
He's probably that whole that whole weekend is just be streaming the thousand-year door and occasionally stopping to take a break to do some important
Shit, I think what back time about his no break. But yes, this is a five or no breaks
There's there's things there's things I need to do. I can't talk about it right now

(02:38):
But there's things I need to do he's got responsibility. He's an adult. He's an adult. He has things to do
No, the cool commander has many responsibilities
Yeah, I don't understand math but yeah
I'm happy actual like a couple days after the release of the paper Mario the thousand-year door remake

(02:59):
God, it was easy this time. We're gonna math. I swear
Okay
Next time we do anything like that where we're talking about something that should be out by the time that episode comes out
We need to make absolute sure because holy shit. I
Can't count neither can you neither can you we can't count?
We only we can count up to three at least we can count slightly higher than valve
But we can only go up to three because we have the last three brain cells

(03:21):
So final three brain cells are you fine?
Screw you screw you I did I did math today whilst whilst me and my dad were cutting wood
At my parents house I did math so that we could be able to figure out
What like because we had like a bunch of different measurements and stuff and so I figured out
What different boards that we could cut so that we could get multiple boards out of one big board?

(03:44):
And I had to figure out many doors like a bitch, but there's no video evidence of him
doing math, so
Will uh?
Kick me kick. I'm good fucking piece of shit audio listeners
Love you to death the John is sitting on the couch here as we all are and he fucking kicked me in VR in
In VR because that's where we are so I'm sitting on the couch

(04:07):
Get none catch
But each on a different cushion cuz we're not get with nose, but because shit on a couch
It's really entertaining going on to like the Spotify or like Apple podcast things and see like the putt the pod being
Marked as explicit. It's really yeah
Everywhere, but YouTube it the podcast is always marked as explicit because we say fuck shit

(04:27):
My favorite swear words are but like shit and fuck like that
You have that guy come I was at the Apple store as well today
So I was buying an iPad and and as I was sitting there like waiting for the person to come by and help me
I just went on to like as many phones and iPads and stuff and just pulled up the final three brain cells
Oh, yes, it's amazing

(04:55):
Well, I did this today and like the funny thing is is that like whenever you look it up on on Apple podcast
You whatever you type in like final like and you start to get like through
Three like partway through three then it just pulls up and the only part that I suggest is final three brain cells
And it's like yes. Yes, I think I'm it's one that like top

(05:16):
recommended search Lucy up to about that point Lucy is
Probably partially responsible because Lucy initially listened to episode one on Apple podcast is what I was told so
and additionally a lot of
I'm pretty sure there's a lot of episode different podcasts just generally that start with last three
But final three is kind of kind of specific

(05:37):
So both of those factors final three unique which reminds me it so if you're not already aware
This is episode five. Well, you're aware of that. But if you're not aware of this other thing
I was gonna mention is that we cycle through who does the intros I do the intro then John does the next one and then
Gears does the next one and we go in that order
So episode two and today episode five were both the times when John did the intro

(06:01):
This is the first time he's actually done it correctly
Because if anybody was honestly honestly that I was debating on intentionally saying the wrong one
I would have just spliced in my own recording of me saying it correctly because on episode two
He called it the last five rains on you on cast. I would have okay screw you

(06:24):
No, no, no, no, no, shut the fuck up when we recorded that episode I was dying fuck you
He was indeed dying in bed. He was very sick dying in bed
Yes, which by the way that box is real fucking small. Could I get an ottoman one day so that I could just lay out?

(06:48):
So so you two can have your legs reclined out and then there's me who doesn't do that because um, I
Don't know a bed you could do it shut the fuck up lay down fuck you I know we like to keep it casual around here
And then there's me full suit and top hat and everything. I just like to splay my balls out like John does

(07:11):
He is spreading his legs like the one photo no no that's a blackmail photo
When we do the photoshoot
Nanos here and I was here like got to got to be proper got to be fucking proper
with the
Bulls die die die die that's that's really mean

(07:32):
I can't believe you say such a thing like that telling me to go ahead and die that's that's really fucked up
I don't know why you would say such a thing
I was like I was like so like vindicated this past week because I was listening to I was actually listening to the yard and
and a slight like the discussion of like the the
Like iced tea or iced coffee or whatever podcast it's like this financial podcast and like they're like

(07:57):
They're like financial guys essentially like their whole goal and like everything is it's like trying to maximize wealth of money and shit and
and
They're like asking Ludwig all those all these creditors like
How much money you make how much money you make and it's like fuck off

(08:18):
And slime like went off. Oh just like I want to beat these people up, and I'm like yes. Yes slime
Yes, me too godless
down the fucking
Bullshit, I will fucking kill you
How much right do you so how much?
Yeah, how do you think why do you make your why do you make a coming a co-op?

(08:42):
That's like the working to do and you're you make money. It's fucking crazy man. I
You look I you are so there's a special place in hell for you
You are so a lot like far along in the like nerd voice
That I could not even understand a single word you're saying

(09:05):
These guys are they're like fucking like no
Life-degenerate people that they're like the only thing they give a shit about is making as much money as possible
And it's like like how much money are you taking for your employees so that you could put in your own pockets?
He's like I would love to put a bullet through your brain fuck me in Minecraft

(09:26):
In Minecraft really can we do it do I have to say that?
Motherfucker okay
We're planning on a murder. Don't worry audio listeners Gears and John are both just lying down on the like
Well, what do you call the the backrest you like both laying on top of the backrest the backrest?
Okay, you call the backrest that checks the backrest dumbass

(09:54):
You were there look you were there you made it go anywhere else on the map you already hit the X
You already got to the X the treasures right there, but you kept going
Call the thing that I just called
You don't have any toes to touch your legs shut up my big leg just good no
Yeah, yeah, I want guns like on the end of I want guns on these

(10:19):
Guns on the ends of his like I want that I want like nubs John yeah, I'm model it
I will put guns on these hell
Yeah, no
Because I'd be no that'd be me doing it because you don't know how to use unity and I do that'd be me doing it
I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that
And then I'll put guns on the side of the on the side of my glasses
So that we'd both shoot nanos with our ridiculous guns

(10:40):
And then there's just me with a silly little revolver like my penis
Cock we can't go like merely
Twelve minutes without mentioning penis
Today we're gonna be talking about the nano
Yeah, you're trying to shoot me with a revolver
And you you you you loaded like all but one I know what where's the penis nano?

(11:05):
I don't know playing speed roulette
No, I don't play speed roulette. No, that's that's five of you know it. No I lost
You put five bullets into the six shot chamber what you okay?
So so so so the funny thing is that we I do this a lot in Pavlov

(11:28):
Basically, I'll run up to someone and say let's play speed roulette
And they're they're just really confused and I'm like see what you do is you load every single bullet into the chamber except for one
Or into the cylinder except for one and then you close it spin it and then start firing

(11:53):
There was a there was a substance bit like that
It was a the the grandpa comes back in and he's like oh, I just got done playing Russian roulette
Lisa asked did you win, and he just looks at it. He's like what do you think?
My god, I would be the type of person to ask someone like like unironically unjokingly ask someone if they won Russian roulette or not

(12:18):
I'm playing with a clock now. Thanks stupid. Thank you
Mark think if I'm here alive. I probably want what do you mean? You're playing with a glock
Yeah, I always win because I play with a glock. Are you putting blanks in no

(12:38):
Okay, just go last okay. It's a magazine
It's a magazine
They're not clips you get you make the very important distinction. They're not clips the I know I'm not
You're not sneaker
Thank you. I'll try to remember a fucking name. Yeah, I'm not fucking sneaker
Oh, this is one fucking idiot. He called he's like you won't watch my clips watch my clips watch my clips as he shows

(13:06):
that guy
Draco Draco something something I forget his numbers, but he's a he's a nerf nerf wars YouTube
Nerf gun youtuber and he calls his his magazines for the nerf guns clip a zines
Because you want to know what nerf calls them?
You want to know what nerf calls them? Do you want to know what nerf calls them? What do they call them clips?

(13:31):
I see where the problem originates
So people who people so nerf player nerf people who really like nerf, but also really like guns
Just got really pissed at nerf, but he just decided to go you know what fuck it clip a zine zines
I like that's in that's pretty good
That's actually pretty good clip is what they call them in the rap songs

(13:54):
Shut the fuck up. I know that's what I said. They're stupid. I don't know, but they're stupid
But well those people are stupid who cares tell you yeah
As we go
We're not about to get into gun culture with me around hell no
Oh, I was gonna again say is if we want to get into gun culture
We need to get in a cookies for that see if either you would start talking about guns

(14:14):
I will have nothing to talk about full transparency if you want to talk about it go ahead
I just won't be able to respond that that's why we need it
You know we need an episode with cookies because they were gonna go off on guns
Dan is gonna be outside just like mm-hmm
I feel like most of the time if we ever do hold on if we ever do any topics that
Generally like two two of the three of us know a lot about and then one of us like both doesn't know and doesn't give a

(14:39):
Flying fuck we should probably save those for guest episodes where it's then like this then three of four
It's in three or four instead of two of three what get in the wall
I'm not going in the wall
No, you two are not gonna talk about guns while I go and teleport inside the wall
We're gonna my guns no go in the wall. I treat everything how I treat my life as a joke

(15:02):
We're recording this episode on May 4th may the fourth be with you by the way
I just saw a video in my timeline today quick side tangent of
Joe Biden saying may the fourth be with you and then
Incomes
What's his name Mark Hamill walks in from the side of the screen?
It says always mark camel mark mark Hamill the fucking actor for

(15:27):
Mark camel on so no not hon solo. No did he write it? Did he write in on a camel was Joe Biden the camel no
What?
No, he just walks in and I'll tell in here somewhere. I'll probably put the video up on screen right here the fourth be with you
always
They lowered a camel from the ceiling

(15:48):
No mark mark
Hamill
H-a-m-i-l I think two L's mark
Camel I hate you so much
Okay, so you are fucking with me. They dive bombed a camel into the White House

(16:09):
A second camel has hit the building
Oh great, okay, so what do we got so far?
No, there's one going for an exterior building the camels are invading they hit the fucking Pentagon
Got a 9-eleven reference already in the episode. This is gonna be a good one. This is gonna be a good one tonight
Yes, yeah, it's kind of necessary that we have those
I say it's gonna be a good one like we combined camels to 9-eleven. This is gonna be great

(16:34):
No, isn't John doing the outro? Yeah, do what?
Are we getting a Germany reference again? No no no no not quite yet that that's we're about like 20 minutes in
We need about another like 20 minutes for us to get to okay Hitler references in 20 minutes guys
Mark your calendars mark mark your stopwatches or your timers whatever the fuck

(16:57):
Mark your stopwatch with a fucking sharpie
You always have to know exactly when and where at what time of day that you're gonna be in
You always have to know exactly when and where at what time of day that you're gonna get a Hitler reference
I mean I need I need to draw a new battery
What are you doing? What are you doing? Rock, paper, scissors?
Why do you all have fucking sticks for bones?

(17:21):
What? I decided to put fucking avatar overlays and I put on contacts
Wait what?
I'm concerned. Wait how fucked am I?
Well this show for the viewers if not, I'm just gonna cut this out avatar overlay contacts
No, we're no I'm gonna take pictures. It looks fine. Wait you have looks fine. Oh no on gears

(17:46):
On gears it's wacky. What's wacky? So there's like several different like small ones in a bunch of different places and stuff
I'm gonna take a screenshot of this and send it to you. Oh, yeah. No, I see it
What's wrong with me?
Um
There's a lot of like fizz bones components on this on your avatar cuz it's just there's some things like hilarious

(18:06):
Some things have to be movable. Like I think this is one of them. Maybe yeah that counts as one
It's like but it renders weirdly my butt. No, not your ass
That is funny to all the people who set your timers. I'm gonna reward you right now
It's sizes are supposed. That's a size of it. So with the humps of the backs and the camels don't forget about general

(18:29):
I love incorporating the camels into a Hitler reference. It's been 20 minutes. It has been 20 minutes
It has been 20 minutes. I told you there's gonna be one in 20 minutes perfect, you know, I mean
What is a subtle? What is an extremely subtle hit of Hitler reference that could be placed somewhere in this set?
I'm kidding. I'm kidding
What what I oh I

(18:51):
Know one. I know one. I know one. It's just a glass of orange juice
Somewhat why a glass of orange juice. I said a glass of orange juice
Right that fucking joke I remember
Because the joke goes I said a glass of orange juice not to gas the Jews you get it

(19:25):
We're great people there's a reason this podcast is labeled as explicit
I will be adding a glass of orange juice right over there. There will be a there will be a
glass or a bottle or something

(19:46):
My god, hi everyone, I have extremely dark humor
so they're like the the
Some of the different like Hitler like stuff and quotes and shit that I know of is specifically from Looney Tunes because there's a couple of different
episodes where they
Like just go off on Hitler. It's hilarious including a shot where Daffy just takes a giant mallet to the back of Hitler's head

(20:08):
It's for that's amazing. Oh my god. I want to see a clip of that now
Yeah, he's just screaming about something at a pet. Oh, he's it. Yeah, I I know which episode it is
I can get it
But like it's literally just him standing at a podium just rambling on and then just Daffy just jumps up with the mallet
Just whaps over the back of the head
It's one of the merry melodies one actually, I think simply feels still in black and white at the time

(20:32):
I do was that during the propaganda era where they making
Yeah, cuz it cuz at that time the US was in World War two at the time
so then there was definitely like a lot of the different like propaganda episodes including the one where a bugs is singing about a
Bugs is thinking about like getting war bonds and stuff that happened very quickly
I say once we got into World War two very quickly bugs started singing about buying war bonds

(20:56):
Is there something I think of on occasion? I usually gets brought up during like um
Some documentaries and stuff from defunct land shout out defunct land to come on the podcast
Anyways, he like regularly whenever is doing he's doing like any history thing regarding anything relating to Disney the whole like Disney doing propaganda
of it
Films during World War two comes up a lot which is really just an interesting thing to think about it was all of them

(21:22):
It was all the animation studios the US government hired like basically all of them to do stuff
Yeah, it would honestly smart idea a really smart idea
Schlesinger productions particularly did a bunch of stuff with the with the US military
especially a lot of the propaganda stuff as well as
Animated shorts for like the military personnel to watch which a lot of those shorts are are really funny

(21:47):
Just on their own, but they were definitely made for just the military something
They they have some more risque stuff in them if you want to me, you know
The booby traps are quite literally boobies in that one. Yeah, so
Interesting
It's just always something interesting to think about like if your goal is to get some wartime
propaganda going in in the US and what's currently really popular is like all these

(22:11):
Animated films and stuff from all these companies that like they're all these companies that the general population loves
I mean, yeah, if you're trying to get some propaganda going sure get them start animating some propaganda that that work
It's it's pretty smart idea to be fair
Yeah, cuz especially like with the with the looney tunes like at that time Bugs Bunny was essentially just a
a basically a a Lister star at that point. Yeah, it just made sense

(22:35):
It's kind of the same deal of like getting Matt Damon to promote your fucking cryptocurrency
It's kind of the same deal Matt Damon got stuck on several like does ever remember the Martian. I did watch that
Yes during that entire like around that that time frame
He got stuck in several fucking places that were like he was in the interstellar, right? I haven't watched interstellar
Was he an ender? I forgot. I've watched the Martian. I don't want trapped on the island

(22:58):
He got trapped on two planets and then something else you just kept on getting stuck at places
That man's acting careers. So I got stuck in a place again
roll credits
He got stuck he got stuck on a spaceship he got stuck on a planet and then he got stuck with cryptocurrency
That's essentially my career. Don't forget about the island and the island

(23:21):
You got stuck. Yeah, we yeah. Mm-hmm. He got stuck on an island, which to be fair
Being stuck on an island is a little bit better than being stuck on the planet
Yeah, we're being stuck with probably or being stuck with the cryptic. Yeah, that's true
Yeah, I'd rather be stuck in an island. I think I think of all of them being stuck with the crypto being stuck with the crypto
Currency is the worst of all of them. Yeah. Yeah, you know cuz Mars would be cool. Hey Mars would be cool

(23:46):
Yeah, Mars would be cool. That's a really unique thing. You're Elon Musk. Yeah, Mars would be really cool
Anyways, fuck you crypto bros, you know
Just dosing yourself with you know alpha radiation for three hours long each day just to keep warm
That's always great. Yeah, just a little bit of radiation doesn't hurt
It's just a wee bit. It's just a wee bit the bongos that are my legs

(24:07):
Bunga Bunga Bunga Bunga Bunga Bunga Bunga you are so close to start singing the Oupa lupa song
Audio listeners

(24:27):
This is an audio high class
Fuck you or your listeners. I can't even be almost it on Spotify. You can't even begin to explain
um what the hell is going on here we get back on track for a minute please there
is no track I destroyed the track one of the waitresses at the place I was at
recently was just like oh I'm so sorry I lost track my like my attention spans

(24:50):
really low and I'm just like this trade is off the tracks I don't know how it
happened but it's still going Christ I don't know how the hell I'm somehow able
to keep things on track if you're on your medication actually I'm not right

(25:14):
now as of the current minute but this is that one goofy train movie that because
we're on on interesting topics and I want to have fun I haven't been on
medication for over eight years I want one I've not been on the medication at
all oh no shit you don't have anything wrong with you we don't know that we've
not checked well saying he doesn't have anything wrong with him is a bit of a

(25:37):
not so sure about that but yeah again my statement still stands me me being
unsupervised for very long is a bad idea it is it is indeed a bad idea I am a
furry after all we have the potential I can send you a pump in the mail for 30

(26:03):
bucks we're coming after you iced coffee podcast we're coming for you okay okay
the tracks you fucking degenerate finance bullshit people we're coming for
you all right the tracks the tracks is something else I want to talk about

(26:23):
sit down audio listeners he's getting on the tracks he's he's going we it's a
comedy show comedy show sit down there's another thing that's happened this week
and honestly I haven't had much else to talk about on the show tonight because
not much has really happened for me this week in terms of the online space and

(26:44):
everything because my new job started this week and that's pretty much like
getting into a new job for the first week is extremely like and it's only
like my second ever job and it's really weird because I'll get home it's and
it's 7 730 maybe 8 o'clock and like I don't want to get in VR can kind of
tired but then like I'm still gonna be up for another like four or five six

(27:07):
hours anyways so but like you know starting next week I'll probably be fine
it's just really weird for this first week so you know not much I haven't had
much else to talk about other than like I don't know Twitter things that happened
yesterday or anything like that so however the job itself I was with it's

(27:27):
a it's been interesting so like starting a job like for me at least like the last
few jobs that I've had like starting them was always like really like saying
because like I but before where I'm at now I was a barista and I'm like
starting it out was really fun and I like that I mean like in particular that
job even like the other brisa because I worked at like two different coffee
shops so it's like both of those jobs are really really fun in general but

(27:50):
that that's because I it's basically the being a brisa is basically being a
bartender except you're not serving alcohol you're serving coffee yeah like
that's literally it which is really which to me at least is really fun
because like I got to talk to a lot of people and all sorts of stuff yeah
there's quite a few people that I'd met at like both places that I'd worked at

(28:11):
which is really really neat yeah the whole for those jobs definitely and I've
also considered like barista and or bartender and it's like you know it'd be
interesting just for the amount of people you get to meet and the amount of
stories we get to hear and all that kind of stuff just the variety my current job
is gonna be a little bit like that but you know I'm not really particularly
allowed to ask about a lot of things it'll be always different and I'm always

(28:35):
interacting with a new person like every there's no such thing as fun I said I
said it shares similarities in the terms of encountering new people like pretty
much every minute or every couple minutes every minute my job we have an
abbreviate there's actually an abbreviation for where's my package WMS

(29:00):
where's my stuff like it's that common of a thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
no it's WMS where's my stuff on WDs weapons of mass destruction yeah
sorry to create um so yeah I wasn't I haven't been super clear on this very
unite I've been super super clear on this except we won't be a bit last

(29:22):
episode but very soon I very tonight we will build a nuke
very soon I will build a nuke together this is great John what you talk about
big company yeah general electric no Amazon I wish we could talk about general
Amazon it's general electric the built another gun damn it it's so far it's

(29:49):
quite um I've just been doing training all week the last five days just been
all training stuff all the training stuff has been online stuff that was
extremely similar to the online curriculum that I was doing for
homeschool so it's like damn it it's cool gonna work
shit it's the same it's the same fucking like like the same like stupid art

(30:13):
graphics like video playing and like interact with this thing yeah you did it
right seriously it's like the same shit any home school kids out there who have
done online curriculums you know exactly what I'm talking about I had done
something similar that in high school it was basically like an online course for
personal finance for whatever reason I don't know why so essentially it was

(30:35):
like because I don't know why but my school just could not get their act
together when it comes to like scheduling classes and stuff and so I
couldn't get into like a normal personal finance class so they just
they were like fuck it we're just gonna have you do an online course during like
the seventh hour of school and then have you do that and that's pretty much what I
did it was weird it was weird sitting in a computer lab like by yourself is

(30:59):
really strange yeah it really would my school trusted me enough to raise like
they did they're like we're just gonna trust that you're gonna do the course we
don't care what what happens like whatever you do pretty much just get it
done by the time the year and fair enough yeah pretty much what I did and
they just fucked around during the seventh hour when right it didn't have

(31:20):
to take the class yeah totally so fantastic job is like you know it's
customer support I've been trained for two things which is one just standard
customer support and then the other thing which was like at the tail end of
the second of the of the last day of the week so I don't know which if I'm doing
regular customer support or the other thing that I was trained on a little bit
which is the people calling in saying either drivers calling in and saying I

(31:41):
crashed my fucking delivery vehicle or a shit like that or customers calling in
and saying a delivery person crashed their truck into me or crash into my
fence or they threw my package or stuff or that's it they crushed my balls so
we're calling in saying that the second camel has hit the towers not again the

(32:05):
second UPS package has it my fucking Jenga tower that I had sitting outside
on the table on the patio it would be something like that yeah oh I'm gonna
wrap my mom out that reminded me of a story I'm gonna wrap oh no oh no okay
I'll continue in a minute I'm scared so so a like childhood friend and like to

(32:28):
his brothers like we had hung out a lot whenever we were growing up and all that
and so one day from school my mom had picked up me and like and them three and
we're bringing them or were we I think we're we might have either been like
arriving or going somewhere or something and so what had happened was was that my

(32:48):
mom came in on the vehicle and to to clarify also the like these three boys
are like redneck as all heck so then like they've they've got a bunch of pet
dogs like that they had a in particular they had a a small beagle and what had
happened was was that my mom drove in and for some weird reason this beagle
beelined it towards a vehicle with me and all three of these boys in there my

(33:14):
mother accidentally ran over this poor little beagle oh and it was very
unfortunate because my mom was like oh no like she felt so bad so I'm gonna I'm
gonna ask a crazy question did it survive no didn't think so that's why I

(33:35):
said yeah right over it got ran over Yelt kind of quickly limped over behind
a building and died that's quite literally what happened so it was really
funny because each of the three boys had different said different things like

(33:57):
post this so number one the oldest which was my which was my best friend at the
time was like was like yeah that was bound to happen it kept doing that all
the time and it was bound to get ran over at some yeah I mean that is fair
he didn't care the the second oldest whenever he talked to my mom later
because like the the two youngest talked my mom on the phone later to like make

(34:20):
sure that like she let my mom wasn't too upset yeah my mom was real upset
the second oldest was like hey like it's okay it's okay like don't feel too bad
and then the youngest one the youngest one got on the phone and quite literally was like
was like sir why'd you run over my dog

(34:44):
I am supposed to say that it's God

(35:08):
that's a great story why'd you run over my dog glad this could come up because
I need to talk about this I'm not done time with my job yet I'm a door-to-door
salesman no so you're not yes I really wanted I really wanted I really wanted
this because this is really fun his or mine gears he's two steps away from

(35:29):
being a from being a oh shit which one is it I'll get back to it okay you
continue I'll get back to the I'll get back to the job I'll talk I'll put
postpone I can talk about your leg is gone okay keep time oh yours is like so
close to becoming a Jehovah's Witness like that's essentially what we're
dealing with here all I do is just go to a door then offer a free inspection

(35:54):
then if I find damage I didn't just go oh yeah that is like ma'am ma'am would
you like for me to inspect your roof if you know what I mean some fucking
shingles
waterproofing I got waterproofing it's plastic

(36:30):
have you ever heard of a family oh god Jesus Christ and then you just I'm gonna
get the ladder out no you should say all this you try to say all this like that
or you should say it's straight-faced no the fucking best part is because the

(36:52):
speech that I have to do a bit of it sounds like backwards Yoda talk because
it literally he how they wrote this thing was like I got some appointments
available blah blah blah and then I go is there a best time that works for you
yeah it sounds a little weird can you mark me down on your calendar so so is

(37:15):
there is there a best time that works for you and I keep accidentally saying it
is is there a time that works best for you and then my mom goes sounds a bit
like Yoda speak it is May the fourth and I'm wait is there a best time that
works for you

(37:40):
should have done the entire day where all of it I just do a Yoda voice right at
the time that works for you best time this works for you
both I have you know what I mean if you know I honestly just some it's actually

(38:18):
been pretty fun getting on top of a roof and kind of just staring at people's
like you know damage and see what the fuck they have guys will have any
excuse to go up on a roof like hell yeah oh no I'm afraid of heights like we
talked to us earlier gears will go up on a roof and be like hell no there we go
actually no roofs are one of those things where if I just get up on top of

(38:39):
it I'm fine it's the ascending and descending that fuck me up that's fair
that's fair and weird well you get on the roof you're like I could live here
so so so that means that if you were constantly moving high up then it'd be
scary so can I force you on a Ferris wheel no please don't please don't please
don't please don't please don't please don't okay so the three of us can never

(39:01):
go to an amusement park together gears what if I get you on a Ferris wheel but
I'm naked what's huh what if I'm naked and we're on the Ferris wheel together
John why would I want to see you naked okay true oh yeah you're the fiance I
forgot about that thing oh shit he's not gay anymore right no you're not gay
anymore what you know you want to see me naked a fiance because you're not gay

(39:22):
yeah but I'm gay but you were but you're not anymore no you're not anymore you
lost your privileges unless you divorce her in which case you can get your
fiance have a penis huh okay we're gonna dissect this we're gonna thank God I'm
gonna dissect your fiance what please don't does your fiance have a penis a
penis you heard a penis always does your fiance have a camel always what as

(39:48):
opposed to a velcro penis a what velcro pen is not work okay my next question
does your fiance have a camel see the second one hit the tower
yeah she was the one who was flying the camel you should ask her about that make

(40:18):
it make sure and check the backstory on the camel to make sure she wasn't the
pilot of the second camel when I was a kid my dad used to force me to get on
the roof even though I was afraid of heights and I used to I just got used to
being on roofs and so because my room opened up to the roof I would literally
just take off the screen climb out on the roof and then just lay out that's so

(40:39):
cool actually that's pretty cool that sounds bad that's awesome
wonderful I could totally do a similar thing bring a fiddle up there huh did
you ever bring a fiddle up there I wish I don't know how to play a fiddle if I
wanted to I could totally go and just lay on my roof you could have been the
fiddler on the roof and the Fiddler on the roof no I do was beatboxing up there I

(41:00):
was the beatboxer on the roof the beatboxer on the roof that doesn't
quite the same ring to it but close to I was beating my meat on the roof the
masturbator on the roof it's a public indecency if you're on your roof yes
yes yes it definitely is if you're out in the country on the country probably
not there's no one for miles if you if you're out in the country don't matter

(41:21):
yeah unless you got a big wiener like how big when you when you can see it from
the fucking road what if I told you I'm nearsighted sorry I'm used I'm used to
I'm used to country you just have a stroke I'm used to country roads where
the house is a bit farther away from the road is a long driveway okay so yeah

(41:46):
that's laying across like this and you just see a giant white line between his
legs yes I remember the days where I could piss off my front porch I wanted
to mention with the roof thing I do have a patio here at my room my room is a
pretty cool room because I've got that side room and that's not a real no the
patio though there's a little bit of a railing and I could totally get over the

(42:10):
railing and just I'm on my roof now the patio on the roof are like right next
to each other so I could totally jump onto my roof if I want to like at any
time I just never have because it's you know I'm not I was never a stupid kid
who did like stupid things like get me heart I never got myself hurt I've never
broken a bone the most I've ever done is sprained my ankle one time and that was

(42:31):
just from walking you homeschooled bastards are so boring it's not because
it's just because I'm not fucking crazy I'm like yeah I like staying in my lane
I like it here I don't know have you ever killed a snake before I've broken
my pinky I burned the bottom of my foot I have literally slipped through my
fucking finger before I know machete yeah I know I was thinking about the black

(42:52):
off and then I got several other burns and then and then and then and then and
then who am I have you ever killed there might be some there might be some
mental issues oh no that was quite clear oh hey you need a new roof no I don't I
don't I don't I got you oh god you need a roof and you know what I mean

(43:18):
well it's yeah well mail you the roof each individual tile comes in one envelope
we'll express ship you through for who one day after the other after the other
there's some absurd shipping costs I'm not gonna lie yeah yeah yeah definitely
and just to ship one tile okay okay um here one second the people at the post

(43:41):
office were quite confused I love nailing the right I love it
I found my roof all day hello editor nano here this is the part where we start using the backup audio
because John's audio just ends here for some reason so enjoy John and gears kind
of sounding like shit while I still sound the same fuck you for no particular

(44:04):
reason baby you want to be a roof when I'm
Jesus Christ okay hold on hold on hold on one second because I just talked to my
watch to turn off the air conditioner hold on let me ask it a question involved
actually involves this conversation dude get away from get away from the
microphone get away from you away from headphones what was I gonna ask oh yeah

(44:26):
John Cody wait how many how many like roof tiles does average roof have how
many roof tiles are on the average roof there's like suggest 3470 tiles okay so
let's let's say what would a 3470 envelopes cost to ship with USPS retail

(44:48):
prices price calculator okay how much is each one each um rectangular envelopes
from 68 68 cents for a stamp it's so it's like what 68 cents stamp that's not
terrible you got all the accounting you got to account in for the actual
envelopes price itself which is oh yeah you got also you gotta also do like
wait there's also shipping cost but if you for a bit into a paper envelope it's

(45:13):
not also it's on envelope it's it's it's so so so the size of it's about like I
don't know yeah a foot and a half by a half foot yeah or no inches by you know
what let me actually search this on my shipping website instead 23 let's go to
rates let's go to envelope padded envelope poly bags off bag or bag in a

(45:36):
box so like those bubble mailers because you'd probably have to fit it in one of
those and then let's say what would you say you said how many inches by how
many 12 by 23 maybe 12 by 23 damn that that's quite large and then how heavy
would it be like a pound okay hold on 12 23 for envelopes larger than 18 box or
rigid package 12 23 I actually have to put it in a box I can't even do a

(45:58):
bubble mailer I would show you do rigid package okay so 12 by 23 by a coupling
is a tile like three inches and then weight like a pound let's see get rate
quota oh ship to um what's it oh I don't know what's a zip code in your PO box

(46:20):
hold on hold on what was just a California zip code because that's
pretty far well it's just like we're shipping to Alaska oh that's a really
easy one nine zero zero zero one get rate quota let's see how much this would
be for one of these the cheapest option I'm looking for the cheapest option right

(46:44):
now priority mills 13 US UPS ground the cheapest I could get one of those ship
for is 942 but that's just because pirate ship which is a really nice
website for shipping who should sponsor me have like really low rates so pirate
ship says you UPS ground for a box that big would be 942 and then let's say what

(47:05):
is 9.42 times 3,500 32,970 that's a bit of money and then that would take um if
you did one a day of 3,500 tiles how many years is 3,500 days 9.589

(47:29):
calendar years about 10 years to ship a whole roof to somebody each individual
tile I got my work cut out for me 10 years and however much fucking money that
was that is absurd
Robin Williams my beloved yes one of the first things I bought with my money from

(47:54):
the new job because it's a pretty well-paying job and I've wanted a smart
watch for a while so I've got one here and I can be like turn on the air
conditioner I can tell the turn on the air conditioner it's gonna turn on the
air conditioner for me it's great I got what about roof tiles for your first
purchase no I bought a fucking smartwatch roof tile this thing cost
the same amount as a Nintendo switch actually so you know what that's pretty
expensive given a switch can do a lot more than a smartwatch it can play the

(48:16):
thousand year door here soon uh this which can I thought you were about to
say the watch can play Paper Mario the
you the watch is garbage because of that you know you yeah I stream the video to
the watch I don't think there is an application for streaming video to the
watch video on it is a complicated it's called Steam link anything anything

(48:39):
that can't play the thousand year door on it is crap that's why the game keep
is awesome that's why the switch is great you can't play the thousand year
door on me Windows XP yeah that's why you're crap that's why I'm crap because
I'm Windows XP I'm talking to you okay I wrote that that's the episode no thank
you everybody for listening or watching to the show today/tonight whenever

(49:03):
the hell this comes out you can check out all the different things that we do
and links and stuff that we have on F3BPodcast.com that's all the links for
all of my stuff including mythos makers my personal YouTube links to Nano's
twitch channel as well as a ko-fi link, to gears I think
fiverr page for voice acting that's probably

(49:27):
set up by now I would assume. I've done some weird shit. if you wanna hire him
for voice acting - please I need it - go to F3BPodcast.com and then you can click
the link to him

(49:49):
the record scratch along the record scratch let's just fix this fix this a
bit ah if 3b podcast player supposed to scream and because they get hurt if you
hit one record player is supposed to be like oh that's I think that's normal

(50:10):
yeah I know you have our record player supposed to have balls that's the end of
episode good night everybody
General Electric putting record players on balls
I mean balls on record players
hahahaha
we're ending on that
we're fucking ending on that
now say outro again
now say it now say it

(50:31):
Outro