Ep6: I don't want seggs, I want MONEY!!!

An attempt to sell a Printer but getting TITTY PICS instead, the REAL reason John's game is named "Shenanigans", Eggman's SUPER LASER PISS against a cockroach, a short SURPRISE GUEST APPEARANCE, some random kid fondles at least two balls without consent, Gears' mother would "blow him too", and quite a few southern accents.

Episode Transcript

Hello, I'm Gears and this is (00:00):
Jackass

(00:02):
Hi, I'm Gears.
Oh shit, wait a minute, no, no, no, no, no.
I got this, I got this, I got this, I got this.
Hi, I'm Gears.
And this is Final Three Braincells.
Audio listeners, love you to death.
He is in front of the camera
pointing at the other two of us over on the couch.
Audio listeners, just go to YouTube.
My testicles are on fire.

(00:23):
Just for fuck's sake.
My testicles are on fire.
Just go look at what's actually happening here.
There's no good way of explaining this intro whatsoever.
So we got John right here.
John, John, would you like to introduce yourself?
Why you southern accent?
Yes, hello, hello, I'm John.
Shut the fuck up, Nano.
No!
Nano, in the most southern accent you can muster

(00:45):
out of your deep little-
Not a chance in hell.
Rabbit body.
Not a chance in hell, you're getting
a southern accent out of me.
Fuck you.
Come on, you gotta fucking do it.
Come on, motherfucker, come on.
Come on, motherfucker.
Nope, just a trick.
I'm not doing it.
Fucking pups out of me.
No!
What I was gonna start the episode with

(01:06):
is addressing the elephant in the room.
The bottle of orange juice right over there on the shelf.
Clearly.
If you look at my testicles, there's a bottle of orange juice.
You seem to have forgotten-
This is my penis.
That's not his penis.
It's my penis.
I ejaculate orange juice, it hurts.
You're jerking off the fucking bottle of orange juice.
You can't immediately start with me.

(01:28):
You're violating the fucking orange juice.
I'm gonna violate the OJ if I want.
Well, you can't, he's dead.
He's kinda dead, isn't he?
He's a little dead.
Well, it's official.
Murder is now legal in the state of California.
He's dead.
So, John, do you at all remember why the bottle

(01:50):
of orange juice is over there?
Cause Gears forgot.
It has something to do with Hitler.
I don't remember exactly.
You both forgot.
Oh!
I know it now!
I said get me a glass of orange juice, not gas.
There you go.
I'm astonished by the fact that you forgot

(02:12):
why the orange juice is being placed there.
Nano, 80% of the episode I entirely forget after recording.
I mean, that is why you watched back the first three episodes
after we recorded them, yeah.
Cause you know one book, cause your brain knows what to do.
This is why I actually enjoy watching the episodes
cause I remember the jokes.
Okay, Nano, okay, Nano, Nano, Nano, Nano, Nano, Nano.

(02:37):
ADHD is a fucking silly thing.
Anything that is out of mind or out of sight
literally becomes just non-existent to you.
Have you noticed this yet?
No, no, not exactly.
It depends on the person.
Peek-a-boo's a fucking bitch for you, isn't it?
There's some people out there who have ADHD
who know exactly what I'm talking about.

(02:57):
Whenever like the, like you have a specific item
you really wanna use more and more often.
But then you put it in a place
and that place is behind other things
and you just completely forget it even existed.
Like you'll fucking be cleaning out
because you're having that cleaning spur all of a sudden.
And then all you're just like, what's this?
Oh, that's where my Glock 19 was.

(03:18):
I needed that earlier.
I needed that earlier for,
I needed that earlier for the burglar.
I needed that for the home intruder.
I had a stab with a knife.
I was just gonna say that.
I needed this earlier for the home intruder.
Oh, I'm dead currently?
Oh, right, that makes sense.
I had to choke out the rap master with my two bare hands.
I had to choke him and he said, harder daddy.

(03:39):
Wait, if you're wearing gloves though,
aren't you gonna forget that you have hands
and how are you gonna choke out someone with the gloves?
Fuck, don't say shit, Gears.
Don't say shit like that when you're drinking water.
I almost had a spit take.
That was fucking hilarious.
At some point there will be a spit take
in one of these episodes.
Fucking great. It's gonna happen.
I have five pounds of energy drinking.

(04:00):
I'm ready to get cracked up.
So regardless of the gas, the juice,
I mean the orange juice over there,
the glass of orange juice, yes, not the gas, the juice.
The juice.
You know, there's a reason these episodes
are labeled as explicit.
You should have put a gas full of shit.
Gas Batman.
There's a reason for this.
You should have put a glass of orange juice over there.
I would have remembered it better.

(04:21):
Now I'm just thinking about OJ Simpson.
It's hard to forget about OJ Simpson, man.
I don't know what to do.
Well, he did just die.
So yeah, weird thing.
I was also the reason Norm McDonald got fired,
but that's a whole nother thing.
We were right after the orange juice thing.

(04:42):
Orangutan. Orange juice.
It's taking over.
Hi, welcome to Jackass.
This is not Jackass.
This shit's far worse than Jackass.
I'm just gonna hold up an invisible photo
of someone that I consider a Jackass.
This is gonna be Jeff Bezos.
Fuck you. Jeff Bezos.

(05:03):
Oh, Jeffy Bezo, right there.
Oh, my crotch is Elon Musk.
Yeah.
What image do I get?
You get Bezos, you get Elon.
What do I get?
Elon Musk is covering your elongated penis.
The guy who actually does Microsoft
is actually kind of decent of a human being.

(05:23):
Let's say someone who...
Let's say someone who's...
Mark Zuckerberg.
I don't know.
You could get the lizard man.
It'll be scaly down there.
Don't worry, it's already true.
He fucking is a lizard.
He's a bit of a lizard, except for the one time
where he's on camera talking about VR and shit.
Then he actually seems human for a moment.

(05:45):
And then he goes back to being a lizard after the fact.
You know.
Well, no, there was the one video
where he was sitting on the couch
and talking about all the VR things,
like the Quest versus Vision Pro stuff.
And he actually seemed human there.
He seemed human there.
Okay, legit, that was really funny.
Just Mark Zuckerberg giving a review of the fucking Quest.

(06:07):
It was actually a good video.
Not of the Quest, it was the...
Yeah.
So fucking funny.
And that was the only time in recorded history
that he's ever seemed human.
I was throwing knives into people before this.
What do you mean throwing?
What do you mean throwing knives into people?
What do you mean by this?
I was playing Pavlov.
Okay, that checks out.
I got some, okay, okay.

(06:28):
Nano, Nano, Nano, Nano.
Do you remember the last time
whenever I was on one of your streams
and I got really fucking drunk
and I started playing Pavlov with you
and I just dominated?
Yeah, that was like two years ago, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I have gotten so bored of the game
that I have just now gotten into knife play.
You've played too much of the game.
You screwed yourself over.

(06:49):
No, so now I just, I literally am like in death matches
and team death matches only using a knife
and maybe a pistol.
And so whenever someone walks up and I can see them,
I just throw it and it hits them.
Or if it doesn't, I just immediately quick draw the 45
and...
I mean, yeah, that sounds about right.
Eventually when you get bored enough of a shooter,

(07:11):
like desktop shooter, VR shooter or whatever.
I just start doing stupid shit.
Yeah, I mean, that checks out.
Do you wanna know what my KDs are
with a fucking knife in these games?
No, I don't wanna know.
Do you wanna know?
I don't wanna know.
It's like a fucking 1.8.
That's not bad.
I am still dominating.

(07:31):
That's not bad.
Holy shit.
With just a knife.
Steppy step.
Honey, what would you like to do
to get down to business tonight?
I think knife play sounds about fun tonight.
Oh, what is that?
I've got a 1.8 KDR.
That's the last thing you wanna say to whoever you love.
Like, okay, so is it more likely that you're,

(07:52):
that she's gonna die and you won't?
My fiance.
What does that mean?
My fiance, would you like to perform knife play?
I've performed knife play because of my 1.8 KD.
She said what?
A good response.
What is a good response?
Anything else would not be a good response.

(08:15):
I don't think she actually heard me in what I said.
Good, that's even better.
You're going down on her and you just whisper in her ear,
I got a 1.8 KDR.
Hey little mama, let me whisper in your ear.
I got a 1.8 KDR.
Every time you two whisper,
I have to do, I have to make an extra three or four clicks
in editing, I can't believe you'd make me do that.

(08:36):
I have to raise the volume every single time.
Let's whisper this entire episode, John, let's do it.
My ears are going.
Don't just start whispering randomly.
My leg keeps floating off into space.
My leg keeps disappearing.
Stay there, I swear to God, I'm gonna sit on it.
You know what?
No, you're not gonna sit on my leg, move.
No.
Gares, have you ever read Fifty Shades of Grey?

(09:01):
My bow's tend watery.
Shhhhhh.
Well, I'm glad that-
The shit is scarce, Batman.
I'm glad that you made it so that you got off my fucking leg.
That actually kind of fixed it though.
I won't lie, you was sitting on my leg kind of fixed a bit.
No.

(09:22):
Don't do that, that's gonna-
I was hoping it would float off.
I was hoping it would float off.
If it did, I would've-
We would've been laughing,
pretending it was fucking straight, you can't.
You can't say that.
You can't make funny things happen on a comedy podcast.
We'll be laughing.
Bye bye.
But, but, we need to stay silent for the fucking laugh track.

(09:43):
I'm not adding, I am not adding a laugh track ever.
No, fuck off with that.
Coward.
Coward.
I just fucked your wife.
No.
I can hear them already.
It's their laugh track, I can hear them already.
Fuck you.
I mean, it's just 10, 20 seconds of just pure silence
and the laugh track can be added.

(10:04):
Oh my god.
Honey, I forgot my bathing suit.
(*crickets chirping*)
My penis enlargement pills are gone.
That is not funny.
That is, is that supposed to be a funny line?
Exactly, exactly.
To be fair, they do add laugh tracks to literally everything.

(10:25):
This is now turning into a commentary on sitcoms.
Yeah, no, it's so stupid,
how there'll be a little bit of laughing.
Like even for something that's not a joke,
it's just words were said.
There goes my leg again.
Oh man, I think I forgot my lunch.
Damn it.
Okay, there we go.
So here's an interesting thing.
We haven't, we didn't, English,

(10:46):
we weren't able to do a podcast recording last week.
As for everyone at home,
they're still gonna be seeing all these episodes
week after week, but there wasn't one recorded last week.
So it's been two weeks since we recorded one.
What's happened in those two weeks?
Other than the stuff, the gears.
When am I getting the thousand year door?
Thousand year door.
Thousand year door.

(11:06):
Thousand year door.
Thousand year door.
Thousand year door.
Well, that's.
Hilariously enough, since we're bringing that up,
I'm running a charity event next week.
Well, it's gonna be well past it now, so.
It's gonna be well past it now.
I hope it goes well.
Well, fuck you, I'm gonna talk about it.
Okay, go ahead, go ahead.

(11:27):
So essentially what I'm doing next week is
to essentially an event towards like,
hey, a thousand year door is coming out.
I'm gonna already be playing it,
so I'm just gonna stream it.
Fuck it, let's do it for charity.
So essentially the charity that I'm pushing it towards
is American Association for Cancer Research.
I've worked with them for several years at this point.

(11:53):
I've got a strong relationship with them at this point,
so it's like, yeah, like anytime I do charity stuff,
it's gonna be going towards them.
I would like to put a disclaimer here.
Fuck cancer, fuck you, fuck cancer.
Fuck you, you took two of my grandpas, you feckin' cunt.
Not even a joke.
No one in my family has died from it, but fuck you.

(12:14):
Why couldn't baby Hitler have died from cancer?
Why couldn't we suffocate baby Hitler with a pillow?
He got shot with a gun, what did he die of?
Wet poisoning.
Clearly, yeah.
So some of the different incentives
that I've got going for it is like,
one of the main things that I've got for it

(12:35):
is if you donate $15 or more,
you get your name entered in for a raffle
for a copy of the Thousand Year Door.
So essentially I've got some,
or I'm gonna be getting some digital codes for the game
and then just raffling those off for people
for the event.

(12:55):
I see your hand going up, Gears.
What's up, buddy?
I wanna have it so I can play my first Paper Mario game.
We were already discussed that John is gonna be buying
the game for like 10 fucking people.
If you can't get a copy, he's buying you a copy.
I can't get a copy anymore.
Yeah, I'm getting you a copy.

(13:16):
I'll fax it to you.
Thank you, I'm gonna get printing.
Fax?
Fax machine.
No one's gonna know what the, no one watching right now
has any idea what a fax machine is.
Well, no one's gonna know where your leg is.
Google what a fax machine is.
My leg is back.
Google what a fax machine is.
And watch your ad at Google Sally Acorn rule 34.

(13:36):
What?
Anyways.
Yeah, porn.
Some of the other incentives and stuff that I've got
is like a $50 one-tour.
It's like if someone donates $50,
I have to hold the controller upside down for five minutes.
Oh Jesus Christ.
So that's crazy.
Hehehe.
It's $50 for a reason.
I don't want people to do it.
Yeah, I just.
Hahaha.
Leg jump scare, holy shit.

(13:58):
Did my leg just teleport into your face?
That was so good.
Yeah.
I'm so, so.
Pissed myself.
I'm so fucking fed up with these trackers right now.
I'm buying new trackers in like two weeks.
I'm so fucking done with these.
It is so bad.
This left foot keeps floating off into space
just constantly.
It's so bad.

(14:19):
I don't know what the fuck the problem is.
So John, when are you gonna make your first ever porn game?
Hehehe.
Okay.
I'm not ever gonna make a porn game,
but I have joked about making
a April Fools VR chat dating simulator before.
Yes!
And like getting a bunch of plastic craters
and a bunch of other people.

(14:39):
Like finger looking good.
It would be so funny.
It'd be so stupid, but it'd be so funny.
A Kentucky Fried Chicken dating sim
is one of my favorites.
VR chat.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh, good, now I know what you're talking about.
The Colonel Sanders one.
No, I know what you're talking about.
Do you wanna know why it's my favorite one
other than KFC?

(15:00):
First action, you can lose the game.
That's pretty good.
Amazing.
Literally it's like your alarm is going off.
Do you wake up or do you chuck it across the room
and continue sleeping?
I need a little credits.
That Super Paper Mario has something like that.

(15:22):
It's like you're going through all of the beginning dialogue
and you get to a certain part.
It's like, will you wish to help us
to be able to save the world?
You can hit no and you hit no.
And the wizard's like, oh, okay.
Kills. Oh, no.
And it just goes to black.
It just says game over.

(15:43):
And then.
You have to go back to the beginning.
And then the Wii. And do the whole intro.
And then the Wii destroys the game disc.
The Wii just fucking explodes.
There was actually a game like that
that did come out from Microsoft.
Yeah, that's a running gag thing.
It's not Microsoft specifically.

(16:04):
It was the guys who made Halo themselves.
The whole entire.
Explaining that's funny.
So Bungie, it was Bungie, right?
Bungie was the guys who made the original Halo.
So I think it was something called like Mythos
or something like that.
I don't remember the actual game's names.
No, I wish.
So.
But it was a game that came out.

(16:25):
It came out right before Halo did
by about maybe like three years.
And it almost put the entire company into bankruptcy
before Halo came out.
And basically what it did was that
there was over, I think 30 million copies sold.
And let's say you didn't like the game.
So you wanted to delete it off of your system.

(16:47):
It would do it, but then it would also delete
everything else on your hard drive.
That's a bug.
Intentionally?
Intentionally, on accident, on accident.
And they had to literally grab all the copies back
because every single copy did it.
It was a coding bug.
That's so funny.
I think I've heard about something like this before.
And they had to reimburse people

(17:08):
and also get entirely new ones out.
I guess there was a bug that did that in Fallout 76
back when that first released.
I'm so glad.
Yeah, it did.
It did do it.
I remember it.
It would require the console bios to be reflashed.
And if you had it on PC, drives.
Bye bye.
Bye bye.

(17:29):
It just works.
It just works.
You don't like our game?
Well, guess what?
Kikush.
A couple of other different things
for the charity stream is
whenever you set up the charity event
for on a Tiltify, you can set up a goal.
Initially, I had it on 500.

(17:51):
And then whenever I sent it to Marcy Loves Bubblegum
to show her that like, hey, here's what it looks like,
she danned me immediately after.
She was just like, why did you not set the goal to 1,000
for the 1,000-year door?
And I just wrote back, fuck you, genius!
So now the goal is 1,000.
You've got the big penis, thank you.

(18:11):
A couple of the different goals and stuff
for the incentive goals as well for milestones and stuff
is $100 and I will sleep on stream,
as in I will have the camera on with an air mattress
and I will just sleep with the camera on on stream.
Nuts exposed.
I don't even know if you're on VR sleep streams.

(18:33):
No.
Wow.
I'm not sleeping in VR.
That's true, that's pretty true.
I'm not sleeping in, that's bad for me.
I'm not sleeping in, that's bad for you.
Yeah, I mean a little bit, yeah.
But you have to get to $100,
else I just go off camera and sleep in my bed.
For $200, I will leak like two VRChat world projects

(18:56):
that I'm currently working on.
For $400, I will leak an avatar project I'm working on.
And then for $500, I will leak a major Mythos Makers project
that we're currently working on.
Is it a porn game?
So all the money is just leaks.
Pretty much, cause that's really all I could come up with.
What if someone doesn't give a fuck?
Now, of course, this could change between now and then,

(19:18):
cause I think tomorrow I'm gonna be doing
a lot more like writing stuff
and getting a bunch more stuff put together.
What if no one gives a fuck?
I don't know.
To donate to charity, asshat, I don't know.
I'll probably have some other milestones and stuff
between like then and then, so.
But yeah.
Stop making that sound.
That's not a good sound.
Stop making that sound.

(19:38):
Nope, stop.
Mr. Electric, kill him.
But also for the streams,
because it's just gonna be continuous streams.
Everyone who's listening to this,
these streams were weeks ago, so who cares?
Yeah, this was weeks ago,
but I'm just kinda telling kinda like,
it's just essentially a continuous stream.
A lengthy game.
It's just like.
A lengthy stream.

(19:59):
A game.
It's either until like Monday at like 2.30 PM,
or I beat the game.
One of the two will happen.
See, I wanna stream.
Until then, the stream is just going.
I wanna stream quite a bit of Thousand Year Door,
but I won't be home until,
and like ready to stream until like eight,
so I'll probably only be able to stream
like four hours of it, and that's sad,

(20:20):
because I wanna play more than four hours
of the Thousand Year Door, but I can't.
Wait, how are you guys streaming?
What?
How are you guys streaming Thousand Year Door?
Capture card.
What?
Both of you?
Yeah.
He's got a nicer one.
I have a shit one, but it works.
I have an HD60 Elgato.

(20:41):
That's good.
That's a good device.
You wanna stream it as well?
I was thinking about like, you know what?
I was thinking about starting it up,
or something like that.
I got Satisfactory.
Oh, cool.
I like playing Satisfactory.
You love playing.
You love playing Satisfactory.
Don't sell yourself short now.
You love playing Satisfactory.
Some of the factories I've built are extra,

(21:04):
actually I was just recently working on my,
specifically my plastic and rubber factory
that has like about a 3000 megawatt power plant
also attached to it that uses residual fuel
that is produced in it to power like most of my plants.
Do you wanna say any of the words you're saying?
No.
Yeah, I don't know.

(21:24):
Nope.
So different language entire.
How it functions.
Don't explain it.
How it functions.
Nope, keep it alien language.
But my balls!
What do you balls have to do with the fucking thing?
What do you balls have to do with the fucking factory?
I've been edging this entire time.
I need to splooge.
Audio listeners, love you to death.
Both of them have their cocks out on video right now.
No, not, it's this, audio listeners, I'm lying.

(21:48):
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait, wait, wait, wait.
There you go, there you go.
Oh, yep, audio listeners, he's positioning
the bottle of orange juice,
like to be where his penis is.
And then John's positioned this pink vase on the shelf
to look like it's his penis.
You wanna touch my pink shaft?

(22:08):
You wanna touch my orange one?
Got a green top.
Jesus Christ.
Orange with a green top, what is that?
Just a fucking, your dick is an Oompa Loompa?
Oompa, Oompa, doop-a-dee-doop-a-dee-dee.
Rub my shaft until I get home.
Jesus Christ.

(22:28):
Jesus Christ.
It's slightly appropriate,
because I'm wearing a top hat.
It's still completely inappropriate, however.
Oh, speaking of my top hat, I finally did this.
Look, look, look in there.
Look inside the top hat, look.
You need to burn the top hat.
You fucker, look in there, look.
Consume the top hat.
Look, there's the Nakama Vibes logo,

(22:48):
and there's the Final 3 Braincells logo.
I've got both the logos in the top hat now.
No, no, that should only be ours.
No.
The idea denied.
Did you pull the rabbit out of there?
I can't pull a rabbit out of the top hat.
I am the rabbit in the top hat, dipshit.
Well, if you take it off, he's technically,
well, they're technically pulling a rabbit out of their hat.

(23:09):
Yeah, when is this episode coming out?
This episode, let's see.
This is kind of the sad part about us
kind of recording these in the way that we are,
because all of the relevant shit becomes irrelevant
as soon as the recording comes out.
Yeah, but.
Well, to a certain extent,
I'm kind of planning this ahead a little bit,
because I think about this time,

(23:30):
I would probably end up announcing
that I'm working on Fox 3.0 at the moment.
Yeah, exactly, you can plan ahead for some things.
I'm currently, because I'm probably gonna reveal
that that's coming,
but because I'm currently working on it right now,
so I think probably about this time,
check my Twitter about this time,
I probably would have already revealed

(23:51):
that I'm working on Fox 3.0.
Oh, sorry, you can't call it Twitter anymore,
because the domain finally changed.
No, it didn't, it still goes back to Twitter.com.
It's a slow rollout, but for me and for everyone I know,
whoever I've spoken to with it right now, it's not.
I don't give a shit.
Go check right now, it might be x.com for you right now.

(24:12):
Or don't, because fuck the website, fuck that.
But yeah, I probably would have already revealed on Twitter
that I'm working on Fox 3.0,
so for those of you who don't know,
I have a meme avatar which is in the form of a fox.
And so there's a version of the fox in VRChat,
and there's a version of the fox in the Fox of the Wasteland.
They're very similar, but different.

(24:33):
But the one in VRChat is getting a upgrade,
and essentially from some of the,
I'm sure you guys could probably see on the Twitter,
but quite a bit of the features are very, very much more
in the Looney Tunes direction.
So we're getting a lot more Looney Toonie.
Looney Toonie.

(24:54):
With this version.
I like the phrase Looney Toonie.
I just made that up.
That was so stupid.
That was so stupid.
The duality of man.
That was stupid, I like that.
But yeah, that's probably gonna be
at least teased around this time,
but yeah, definitely gonna be a lot more
in the Looney Tunes vein,
especially in the Wile E. Coyote vein,
because that's a lot of the gags and stuff
that I like to do in VRChat.

(25:15):
So, but yeah, and then I'm gonna be returning
to a few old gags that I've done in VRChat,
some old bits and stuff that I've done before.
Chat, you're never gonna believe it.
New bits and stuff.
He likes to be funny.
I didn't.
He likes to be funny.
Yes, I did say, I said chat intentionally.

(25:36):
I said chat intentionally.
I was not, it was not a mis-input.
I meant to say chat, because for some reason,
it's funny now to say, to reference chat
when you're not streaming, I don't know.
I guess it's just kind of a thing now.
Chat, chat, chat.
Now I'm back to XTC.
This is gonna be wild.
Like this is absolutely insane.
I don't wanna say what exactly I'm looking at.

(25:59):
I don't, like, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, chat.
Like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
this is gonna be the mind-blowing thing to do.
Wow, chat, wow, chat, wow.
The wow is specifically is just so good.
Wow.
I want to, I might do it by the time I,

(26:19):
this probably won't happen by the time this comes out,
but I so wanna do an XTC avatar
at some point in the near future.
Yeah.
I so wanna do an XTC avatar.
If anybody hasn't watched the meat canyon video
for the, the, for XQC, it's really good.
You were saying?
So good, but yeah.

(26:40):
Balls.
All right, Farron, that train of thought is gone.
His is lost time.
But yeah, I'll probably be returning some,
some different gags and stuff that I've done in the past.
He's gonna be the funny man again.
John Cody, yeah.
Some classic John Cody avatar gags,
including probably my third iteration
of a welcome to the internet.

(27:00):
Ooh.
But just more insane.
I've done that twice now,
and then I'm gonna be doing it a third time.
So, but there's a few other avatars that I've got
that I'm gonna be in the docket that I'm gonna be doing.
Welcome to the internet.
Check inside your balls.
I know that song so well now because of that avatar.
So I wanted to say specifically because like,

(27:22):
oh, it's been two weeks since we recorded an episode.
So what's been going on with you?
That's a lot.
I'll continue in a second.
Gears had some things, but under NDAs, he can't say.
We can't talk about, NDAs are a bitch.
So anything other than that,
I'm gonna assume not because you said
you had no fucking time to do anything else.

(27:42):
I mean, he did masturbate.
Literally, I did masturbate today.
Wow.
Was it good?
A three hour edging session.
Was it good?
It was really good.
I'm glad you got that out of your system.
You needed that.
You needed that today.
Remember when we made the joke before
that we were gonna have the three of our,
like all of our mothers watch this show?
It'll be fun.

(28:03):
It'll be fun.
It'll be fun.
It'll be fun.
So, let's regroup for a meeting afterwards.
It's a process if we wanna.
I mean, it wouldn't be the first time
that she's ever heard me make a joke like that.
Yeah, I think I can say the same thing.

(28:24):
Fair enough.
I told my mom a story today,
cause it was really funny.
So I've got a printer that I acquired.
Do not ask how I acquired such printer.
Not so long ago that I've been trying to get rid of.
And so I put it, like it's a big old industrial,
or no, professional like industrial business printer.
And so, and it's like,

(28:45):
it's too big to like ship anywhere or anything like that.
So it's like, I'm just gonna put it on Facebook marketplace
and Craigslist and just try and get someone
like somewhat close to get it.
So I posted it up there.
And then the next day I get a message.
I get like a bunch of messages
from someone who's interested in the printer.

(29:06):
And I'm like, ooh, yay.
And I go over to tap over and take a look.
Turns out they weren't interested.
Cause whenever I tapped it,
the first thing I saw was an image of a pair of breasts.
Right fucking there.
Mm, titties.
What the fuck?
Just right there.
This is the last thing I was expecting you to say.
And I look at this and I think to myself,

(29:28):
motherfucker, this is not a printer offer.
This is breasts.
I want money, not breasts.
Where's my money?
I'm pissed.
I was fucking pissed.
Both is good.
I was angry.
No, no, I want money.
I wanna get rid of this printer and get money.
I don't want breast.
I didn't want breasts at the time.
I wanted an offer for the printer.

(29:50):
Well, they thought you wanted titties.
And yes, I would like to clarify.
I am straight, but there's a time and a place
where I wanna see breasts.
And in that moment, I did not wanna see breasts.
I wanted to see an offer so that I could get rid
of this fucking printer.
Are you pornhub.com?
I don't think so.
Give me money.
Are you interested in buying my printer?
If not, please fuck off.

(30:11):
If you're not interested in this printer,
you're just a fucking hoe.
Was this Facebook Marketplace you said?
This was Facebook Marketplace.
I didn't know that they had that issue,
that kind of issue where you just get like
a damned porn instead of offers.
Yup, man, that is something.
Apparently, that's what happens.
So, and they allow you to attach-
Because it happened to me.
They allow you to attach images in like offers.

(30:34):
Why?
It's just because it works through the Facebook Messenger
app because whenever you go in and message someone
through it, it works through that.
So then it's the same system.
All right, I guess, yeah.
And you can already post images and stuff through there.
Okay, you were saying?
So, my family has two inside jokes.
Well, one inside joke that's actually known
by the entire family, one that's known

(30:54):
by between both me and my mom.
The first one is fucking hilarious.
The second one I think is funny.
So the first one, we were watching Mulan.
I was like 16, my sister was, basically I was young.
And my sister goes-
Oh, is it young?
So it's Mulan, the animated movie from like the 1990s.
And Mooshu goes, why don't you say that to my face,

(31:18):
you limp noodle.
And then my sister goes, that's a penis joke.
And my mom goes, a male penis.
And we were just like, what kind of other penis is there?
A male penis.
What kind of other penis is there?
Well, okay.
Hey, no.
You're not, your mom needs to be taught,
your mom needs to be taught how sex work,

(31:39):
which is really surprising considering that at that point,
she had two kids.
Does she know what a gock is?
No, she had more than two kids.
Does she know what a gock is?
That's not an answer.
Does she know what a gock is?
A girl cock.
This was before the whole thing.
This is before, this is before 2016.

(32:03):
This was before trans people existed.
Okay, careful with that.
Careful with that.
It was widely accepted.
Iffy, maybe, perhaps.
Before it was widely accepted.
Nothing's widely accepted yet.
We still have racism.
Like what are you talking about?

(32:23):
Bitch, we haven't gotten anywhere.
What do you want about?
All of our social issues are solved, black people.
Be like, what?
What do you mean?
Yeah, I mean.
The fuck you talking about?
Progress, never heard of it.
Okay, well there is progress, but.
So the second one, the second joke
that's known by me and my mom only
was during a trip where we were coming from the south,

(32:46):
going up to the north,
to our place that we lived in at the time.
And there was road construction.
So there's like only one lane,
except it turns off to be a,
like a, it opens up to be a two-laner
right after this intersection.
And me and my mom get off at the intersection.
That's the most southern thing I've heard,

(33:06):
to a two-laner.
Yeah.
Fuck.
But no.
We got off at the two-laner.
So it goes from a one-laner to a two-laner.
Two-lane.
I mean it does.
Yeah, it's true.
He's just saying that it sounds southern.
You can say the fact in a southern way
and be called out for it.
My pain is be large and in charge.

(33:29):
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
Was that southern?
Yeah.
Not like a very hard southern, but it's there.
During birth, we pour the moonshine
directly into the vagina.
Okay, so I continue with it.
So all of a sudden we get into the turning lane
and a dude starts honking, like,
just,
Free, move!

(33:52):
Sounds pretty southern.
And then just fucking speeds by them.
And my mom goes,
Was this Texas?
No, this is southern Indiana.
Indiana, yeah.
So it sounds better.
Like, so my mom goes,
I'd blow him too.
And then my mom, I'm just like, mom.
And she goes, what?

(34:13):
I'm just like, I'd blow him too.
And then she goes, oh shit!
How do you not,
how is your mind so clean that saying that
doesn't immediately make you go,
oh wait, shit, that was a sexual joke.
That's just what it was.
That's just what it was.

(34:33):
Like, it's,
that's, like, that's not a stretch.
That's not cause our brains are fucked.
That's just the way it is.
It's just a fact.
Then again, we are VR chat players though.
So it was your mom who said that, right?
Just double checking?
Yeah.
Okay, I need an answer for this.
Was she married at the time?

(34:53):
No.
Okay.
I guess at that point she could blow him
if she really wanted to.
Yeah, I mean, I suppose, but like.
Is she married now?
No, no.
She's not married now, call me.
John, you're not fucking my mom.
Doing your mom, doing, doing your mom.
That's what you think.
She's happily in a committed relationship,

(35:17):
but she's not married.
Anyways, yes, that is what you think.
Listen, I can rock,
I can rock her world, man.
I don't know what else to tell you.
Damn, that three inch punisher.
John, stay in your lane.
You're like the virtual bitches.
You like the virtual hoes.
Sorry, that, that is, that.
I like them digital titties.
That didn't mean I was calling your mother a hoe.

(35:38):
I want to make this very clear, very clear.
Excuse me, I'm a robo hoe.
Get it right.
I said your mother.
I said your mother that I wasn't saying it
about your mother.
Your mother was made by General Electric.
Yeah.
We always gotta go, we gotta go back to this always,
always at all times.
We're going, we're going there at some point in time.
So if we're gonna talk about like a family insight jokes,

(36:01):
hilarious enough, shenanigans,
the title of shenanigans actually comes from
a family insight joke.
Have you ever said this before?
I think I have.
I don't know.
I know I've told people this.
Guys, look, new information from John.
New information, exclusive.
I've told people this before,
but I don't remember if I've said it,

(36:21):
like in a public setting like this or not.
This comes from way back when,
when John was a wee little lass.
There was a point in time, lass, no, I'm male.
I'm a dude, lad.
I'm John.
Anyways.
Wait, I gotta check my, I gotta make sure.
Make sure.
Yeah, hang on.

(36:42):
Check.
Can you, can you do the check?
Testicles.
You got it.
Testicles, okay.
Okay, cool.
Thank you.
On you listeners, ball gripping.
Ball check.
I got fondled.
That's a story as well.
Hang on.
That's a, that's a later story.
That's a story.
So I was a little kid and I was at a,
I was at a doctor's office with both of my parents.

(37:03):
Both of my parents were there.
And I was supposed to get a shot for something.
I don't remember exactly what it was,
but I was supposed to get a shot for something.
And I just was not cooperating.
Like I, like I was a kid.
I didn't like shots.
I was just not cooperating.
How old were you for this?
Like.
I had younger than 10 for sure.
Younger than 10 for sure.

(37:23):
Somewhere between like, like seven and 10,
somewhere between there.
But I'd have to ask my mom.
And you know like needle, no?
Yeah.
No needle.
I know like needle.
Me neither.
I was just like not cooperating, which I, like by then,
I had had a couple of shots and stuff beforehand,
but for some reason, like during this point in time,
I just was not cooperating.
I couldn't tell you why.

(37:44):
I was too fucking young.
It had been too fucking long since then.
And I don't remember.
Eventually like it kind of got to a point
where it was like, it was like the doctor was like,
is if this continues, like we can't give him the shot.
We'll have to like schedule another time
for you guys to come in.
And so my dad just sat me down
cause he was getting aggravated.
And my dad just sat me down and she's like,
if you don't stop with these shenanigans,

(38:04):
I'm gonna have to bust your rear for this.
And my mom had to hold herself so fucking hard
because she could not believe that my father used shenanigans
in a very, very serious situation.
Look, I get it.
It just, using the word shenanigans
in a serious situation is just a sudden thing to do.

(38:25):
It just does not work.
It just does not work.
It's a sudden thing to do.
You cannot try and discipline your child
while and say shenanigans.
It's just not gonna work.
My mom was like almost like on the verge of dying
because she was so close to just laughing her ass off
cause she really just heard that from him.

(38:45):
No, it's great.
As I grew older and like, as I grew like more mature
and like we were able to laugh about it over time.
Cause like eventually I did get the shot.
Like I did start cooperating.
Say I did not wanna feel the wrath of my father.
You didn't wanna feel the shenanigans of your father.
This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is.
I can mean anything.

(39:08):
Anything at all.
But, but, but yeah, like, like as I grew older
we joked about it a bunch and all that kind of stuff.
And so then whenever like I developed the,
whenever I like, cause like I developed the characters
like Simon and all of them whenever I was like really,
like, well not really, really young, whenever I was in.

(39:29):
I believe I made those characters
when I was in middle school.
And so whenever I was doing all that kind of stuff,
I, whenever like it came around to kind of like being like,
okay, what could all of this kind of stuff be named
and wrapped under?
And then like that just clicked into my head
and it was just like, this is it.
It makes sense cause I mean all the,
if you made those character designs
when you were younger as well, then it makes sense that,

(39:49):
you know, the shenanigans incident,
which was also from when you were younger.
I, do you think you would have remembered that that well
if given like, okay, let's say your mother wasn't like,
didn't find it super funny or something.
I feel like this probably would have just been a sentence
that just got lost with the winter.
I feel like if my mother wasn't like about to like burst,

(40:11):
bust or got laughing in that moment,
I don't think it would have been that much
of a memorable story.
I think it would just been one of those like,
oh, we had to like,
give in trouble for a moment. Thank God for humor.
And like, it just would not,
would not have like been retold,
but it, but it, it was funny enough to her
to just continue to get retold. It was so funny.
Now onto the fondling. This is a more recent story.

(40:35):
I want to hear about the fondling.
Now he's tuned in. Now he's tuned in.
Yeah. Now he's tuned in.
This was in a VR chat. This was in a,
it was in the Sunset Barber.
So it was kind of a, it was kind of like a,
it was basically a group public.
And it's like me, Marcel's bubble gum,
and kind of our friend circle,
just kind of there and hanging out.
Get to the balls.

(40:55):
We're all just kind of in a circle,
chatting a little bit.
There's kind of like a,
I'm in the center at the back end of the circle,
and there's like a space in front of me,
kind of like an open space,
kind of a little bit in front of me.
And so what happens is that I don't,
I don't see their avatar cause they're,
they're a robot for me.
I'm guessing they're,
they're just like someone who's younger.

(41:16):
Someone just like from, from a distance comes up,
walks up to me,
puts their hand like right in my crotch
and like moves their fingers around a little bit.
And we all just see this and I'm looking at,
I look at this and I look,
and they move back a little bit.
I look at this and I just look at,
this is probably like one of the most unhinged things
I said in a while,
but I look at this and I look back at them

(41:36):
and I'm just like, well, you okay?
Like, you need some attention
because your father doesn't love you that much.
Like, what's going on buddy?
If a child's on VR chat, maybe.
You know, it was a good,
I'd say there's a good 50% chance.
I didn't care.
I was just like, I was just like,
I'm just gonna let this one rip.
They're like, is it if you're gonna walk up to someone

(41:57):
and just do that into them like that,
just expect the worst at this point.
That's a lot of words to say VR balls.
They then just turn off and like run off in a direction.
And then Marcy's over the side laughing her ass off
because she's just like,
that is some of the funniest shit
I've heard you say in a while.

(42:17):
I see.
Or like funniest unhinged shit that you've said.
Why do you two find it so fascinating
that we have this massive couch
and yet you both decide to lay down
on the arms of the couch and not the couch itself?
This is more comfy right now.
This is more comfy right now.
I don't know what else to tell you.
What if I removed the arms?

(42:37):
Would that be a war crime?
Yes.
We're sitting on the floor then.
I'm the only one on the couch.
You two are just on the fucking floor.
No, no, okay.
That I'm not doing that.
We're gonna be on the floor cuddling.
We're cuddling each other.
This is not a podcast.
This becomes not even a podcast anymore.
It's just, it just turns into a scene of like,

(42:59):
this may turn into sex.
Cuddle time with NaNo.
Cuddle time with NaNo.
No, it wouldn't be
because I would be still on the couch.
Yeah, you're getting cucked.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
I don't know where to go with this either.
I mean, well, we did mention the hotel cuck chair
in episode one.
Oh yeah.

(43:19):
Yeah, where's my hotel cuck chair?
I don't remember that.
It's so funny.
Like whenever,
cause I think you mentioned like not remembering
like what was said in episodes and stuff.
Cause I listened to episode one whenever it came out
and we had mentioned like TwitchCon
cause I was listening to it at work.
And I almost just, I had to like hold in my laughter

(43:39):
because I didn't know how to explain to my coworkers
that on camera I said,
I'm coming for you Dutch people on a podcast.
Were you not wearing like headphones or something?
I was wearing headphones.
I was wearing headphones.
It's just like, I had to hold in my laughter
so that then I wouldn't,

(44:00):
I didn't have to explain to my coworkers.
Yeah.
So I didn't have to explain to my coworkers
that like, that like I shouted at one point,
I'm coming for you Dutch people.
For anyone who hasn't seen episode one,
this was specifically in relation to the fact
that the summer TwitchCon or early summer TwitchCon
for 2024 is going to be held in Rotterdam.
I'm genuinely like super excited for it.

(44:21):
Like I'm really excited for Rotterdam.
I'm still excited for San Diego because-
I'm gonna take trains.
I have a job now and I have money
so I can go to San Diego for the one in September.
And you don't have money.
Yeah, I'm really excited for Rotterdam
cause there's been quite a few,
quite a few friends from the VRC community
that's going to be there and it's going to be really awesome.

(44:42):
When is that now?
That's literally at the end of June.
Like literally just right at the end of June.
That overlaps with the start of Project Community.
PJKT?
Yeah, I know.
I know.
I brought that up.
At least PJKT Fest is, it's two weeks long.
I brought that up like two months ago
and no one, and I recommended that they change it

(45:02):
because hardly anyone in VRChat's gonna be on
because of TwitchCon.
I wouldn't say hardly cause it is still an overseas TwitchCon.
The main people, like the main people that are like,
like a lot of the larger streamers and stuff
and a lot of the main people in the VRChat community
are going to be at TwitchCon.
And I mentioned it was like a lot of people are going to be,
especially like Europeans are going to be gone for TwitchCon.

(45:25):
I mentioned this like two or so months ago
and they're like, oh yeah.
And it's like, we need to consider that
and maybe we might end up changing the dates.
They didn't change the dates.
They didn't change the dates.
I don't know why.
Yeah, that's honestly like, that's not like a what if thing.
That's like actually a problem.
I don't know why it was done that way,
but it's set in stone now, has been for quite a bit now.
No one listens to me, but I'm a fucking genius.

(45:46):
I don't know why.
Okay, now calm, okay, calm down.
Stroking your ego and your dick way too much.
It's me you're talking to.
Of course I'm going to be stroking my ego.
Like, come on.
You're about to say of course I'm stroking my dick.
No, that's Gears.
He's asleep.
And then there's me.
Gears, wake up.
Yeah, I don't know what happened there.
Gears, we're talking about dicks.

(46:08):
Wake up.
I was just stroking my dick.
Oh, okay, didn't look like it.
I was doing earlier.
Wax on, wax off.
Cause you're a pinkat-
You weren't saying anything.
We weren't, you were thinking of me.
My balls tingle.

(46:32):
God damn it.
We're recording this episode pretty late at night.
So later than we usually do.
So that's why Gears is falling asleep.
You want those breasts that would sit to me
on Facebook Marketplace and stuff?
Yo, send them, send them.
I could forward those over.
Oh my god.
Thank you.
Oh, finally.
If you send unsolicited tit pics,

(46:52):
is it then okay for you to forward that
to whoever the hell you want?
I still don't think, I still don't think it's right.
I think so.
They should go fuck themselves.
They shouldn't send me free porn.
Little dude, we know there's like some law
against this or something.
Oh my. There might be.
There might be, for legal reasons,
we're not actually doing this.
Oh, for legal reasons,
he's looking at a photo of something else.
This is a joke Twitch.

(47:14):
Twitch, Twitch.
We're not live.
It's about what I say whenever,
whenever like there's a joke like that
and someone's streaming, it's like,
Twitch, this is a joke.
And if you're ever streaming on YouTube, who cares?
Twitch bots, kindly jump off a bridge.
Oh, you mean like the ones that are like,
I want to, I have a service that's gonna give you
more viewers and followers like those, those bots?

(47:36):
No, I said Twitch mods.
Oh, I thought you said Twitch bots.
The Twitch bots can jump off a cliff though and die.
But you know, that goes without saying.
So can the mods.
Well, they can't die, they're programming.
Hi, my name is John.
I'm a rebellious bastard.
Goes to TwitchCon, says Twitch mods
should jump off a cliff.
Just because I'm going to,
just because I'm going to Twitch mods
doesn't mean I'm gonna, I'm not gonna slander Twitch.

(47:57):
I can't say the same thing about Unity.
It does make sense because like, you know,
Twitch still has the continuous issue
of never upholding their standards ever
in terms of anything ever, ever.
Yes sir.
As much as I love the new CEO,
he's done a lot of good things,
but the whole upholding of like just things
in terms of moderation has still continued to be horrible.

(48:18):
But the Twitch mods still like the boobies.
Yeah.
It's about the same way that how I feel about Unity.
I will bite the hand that feeds me.
I don't fucking care.
I will slander Unity in my game.
Oh yeah, no, of course.
I love watching people's like play through of shenanigans
and seeing like the end credits where it says,
oh, and screw you Unity, just hearing people laugh.

(48:38):
And how the game opens with saying,
unfortunately made with Unity.
Yeah, unfortunately made with Unity.
Now a lot of people just crack up fucking laughing
whenever they see, oh, and screw you Unity
because of all that.
Hey, what episode is this?
I forgot.
This is episode six.
This goes up on probably June 1st.
Sylvia Zora, a fellow content creator
in the VR chat space.
Whenever she played a shenanigan, she fucking died.

(49:02):
Remember she saw that at the end.
It was so funny.
I'd like to get around to speed running
a bit more shenanigans.
I've just been so, so, so fucking busy in life
with just so many other things.
It's like low on my priorities list.
I think that's also been me to where it's like,
there's just a bunch of stuff going on.
I can't talk about it.
Not exactly the same situation as Gears.
It's just, I can't like,

(49:23):
some of the stuff I don't want public right now.
Yeah.
But like, I mean, I'll talk about it
at some point here soon.
I wanna talk about me for a little bit.
No, let's continue.
No, no, no, we can talk about me.
We're gonna continue focusing on me.
What else am I doing?
I don't remember.
Oh yeah, I was at my parents' house today.
You were at your parents' house today.
I was painting.
He was painting.
He was being a, he was doing a thing known as

(49:46):
for real life.
We wouldn't know anything about this
cause this is a VR podcast.
And he didn't say that there's been any tragedy yet
with failing to paint.
House hasn't blown up yet.
It's probably fine.
Um, I painted several bugs and killed them.
That's about the worst that it's been.
Tragedy.
Oh my God.
Back when I worked for.
Well, you're gonna have to cut that one out.

(50:08):
All right, editor Nano, cut that name out.
Please cut that name out.
Back when I used to work for an unnamed company
that I was a painter for.
General Electric.
There was a cockroach that fucking walked
into the paint shop.
I immediately twisted the actual tip on the paint gun
so that it would spray a single stream
of like 3000 PSI paint.

(50:30):
It just aimed at it.
Oh my God.
Oh, that is so funny.
My super laser piss.
It's the only thing that comes to mind.

(50:51):
It's just the super laser piss.
Because I've been going to my parents' house,
my parents have a four wheeler
and there's like a trail like area,
like close to where they live.
And so then like, I've been taking the four wheeler out
to like that trail and like riding around
and that kind of stuff.
Cause it's just so much fun.
He's been having this thing known as
a touching grass, having fun.
Which is not what most people do
who also happen to play VR chat.

(51:13):
You're special.
Except today, well today I did get stuck for a moment
because it had been raining a couple of different times
this past week.
And so there was a lot of like wet spots on the trail,
like a lot of mud and stuff.
And so I like the two tires just perfectly went
into like these two little like spots
and I just could not get out of it for a little bit.
I was like flooring it and eventually I'd like

(51:34):
tried to push it out.
That didn't work and then I got back on
and then I looked at everything and I was like,
wait, this thing has four wheel drive.
Boop, boop.
It just got out instantly.
Cause I just fucking forgot that four wheel drive exists.
Here, strawberry, you want to make an appearance
on the show?
You don't want to make an appearance.

(51:54):
Strawberry's here just stealing my massive container
of UTC cheese balls right now.
I have no snacks, I'm out of chips, man.
I'm gonna have cheese balls now.
Not my balls.
Here, here, here, give me one of these here, here.
I want a couple, yes.
Give me a singular ball.
Hold on, I'm taking two balls.

(52:15):
No wait, you gotta get the one on the end.
Man, they're so good.
No, I don't care.
You would take two balls, wouldn't you?
No.
You would take two balls in your mouth.
I can't take three balls because you're not supposed
to have three balls.
You're only supposed to have two balls.
Okay, goodbye.
Swear to him, what's it gonna do?
Swear to him.
Thank you for.
What is swearing to God gonna do for you?
You have the cheese balls.
Thank you for also two cheese balls,

(52:35):
except I don't know why I'm thanking you anyways.
Where were we?
You would be the one taking two balls, wouldn't you Vy?
I'm gonna say end of the episode
because I am really hungry and I wanna eat.
I also wanna eat.
Okay, then I will use the next episode
to talk a fair bit about my job and stuff
because there's actually kind of been,
there's been some interesting things here and there with it,

(52:57):
but I think I'll save it for next week.
We're a little over an hour now.
Yeah, because I do just wanna say that
I've done two weeks of training
and then now I just finished my first week
of the actual job.
I felt so drained after the first day,
but now going through it, I'm feeling a lot better,
feeling a lot more confident in just being able
to do the things I need to do quicker.
You went through two weeks already?

(53:18):
Huh?
Yeah, the two weeks of training and then I've done that.
I thought that you were still going through training.
No, thankfully I'm done now and I'm just hands on now
because trying to retain all that info over two weeks,
I had to be a fucking sponge for two weeks straight.
I had no time to do anything else.
When I finally got home, I was just completely
mentally drained from all the, just the knowledge

(53:39):
I had to input into my brain and then all the fact
that I had another four days ahead of me
where I also have to input all this extra fucking shit
into my brain, so it's been really draining.
That'll do it.
It was probably a good thing that we didn't record
an episode last week because I was right after my training,
right before starting the job.
I kind of just, okay, I've just learned all this shit.

(54:00):
I gotta start putting it to use next week.
Ugh, it's been a bit, but I've got some funny things
here and there I could probably talk about,
about the job, some great things and some funny things,
but I'll save it all for next week
because then I'll have two weeks worth of funny things
instead of just one week, yeah.
And then I'll also have a thousand year door stream
under my belt.
That's true.
Next episode, episode seven is gonna be just exclusively,

(54:24):
half it's gonna be a thousand year door
and then like, there'll be like,
75% of it's gonna be a thousand year door
and then like 25% of it's gonna be me talking
about funny shit about my job.
And then, you know, maybe talking about a little bit of a.
I'm scanning the bar here.
Jesus Christ, audio listeners, there's a barcode
on Gears' right thigh and John is scanning it.

(54:47):
Here, how much is he priced?
It says you, it says you owe me money.
That's my joke.
You stole that from my clip.
You know what's even funnier?
I saw that from the clip of you doing that to me.
Yeah, wait, that was.
You said that to me.
How much am I?

(55:09):
You owe me $10.
Nevermind, I don't want that answer.
Negative 10, you owe me $10.
I'm purchasing you now and you too.
I'm owned by the bun bun, let's go.
I don't like the implications of that.
Why do I not see this coming?
This has been a great episode.

(55:29):
I've enjoyed this.
I will probably suffer through hell of editing this
at some point because it's been a little bit
all over the place, but I'll make it work.
Gears, no, don't say outro, don't say outro.
It's not outro time yet.
Get away from the camera.
Get away from the camera.
Back up from the camera.
Audio listeners, ass.
Oh my goodness, we were both thinking the same thing.
We're both like, let's mention that ass immediately.

(55:51):
Thank you all for enjoying episode six.
Within the next couple of episodes,
we're gonna start bringing on some guests.
So it's not just the three of us
always nerding out about shit.
Yeah.
And we've already got a pretty good idea
of who our first.
We get the cuck chair.
We've got a good idea of who our first
and our third guests are gonna be.
But who's gonna be the second?
What the hell?
We don't know who the second's gonna be.

(56:12):
Well, we know the first is, we know who the first
and the third are gonna be specifically.
The second's gonna be.
We don't know yet.
Rock, pebble.
Pebble?
It's gonna be me.
Pebble?
It's gonna be Gears.
We're gonna.
What?
What do you mean by it's gonna be you?
I'm gonna be guest.

(56:34):
There's just a second Gears.
I'm at a complete loss of words for this.
A second Gears is at the podcast.
God dang it.
God dang it.
I mean, I'm already guest at this point
because I just keep fucking zoning out
in the middle of the podcast.
The second Gears has hit the fucking podcast.
No comment.
You see, it can't be an episode

(56:55):
without mentioning both 9-11 and Hitler.
I don't know why.
This is just the way it works.
I don't know.
No, no.
We were just getting to,
we were just about to finish an episode
without mentioning 9-11.
We already did Hitler.
Well, you see, you mentioned that you're gonna be a guest
and I had the opportunity to make a 9-11 joke.
Dammit.
For those of you who have your bingo cards,

(57:16):
you're surely a bingo at this point.
Come get your 1,000 years doors.
There's a checklist.
Come get your 1,000 doors.
1,000 doors.
There's a checklist at this point
of things that are mentioned in the podcast.
Okay, John's talked about the 1,000 year door.
Okay, Hitler's been mentioned.
9-11's been mentioned.
General Electric.
Oh, I guess now we're adding O.J. Simpson to the list.

(57:38):
All right.
Shit, you're right.
The only reason we're adding O.J. Simpson
is because the fucking orange juice
that you decided to use.
You suggested the gas the Jews joke.
The glass of juice joke.
Yeah, but it's a glass of orange juice, not.
Yeah, but.
Simply say, not a, not a, not.
Don't say the logo.
There's the, there's the,
it's a undescript bottle of orange juice.

(57:59):
It's Simpy Orange.
Simpy?
Simpy.
Simping over oranges?
It's what the simps are all drinking.
Not to be confused with Simpsons.
Gears, get us out of this mess.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I've been NanobonTV, and this has been.
I am John Coday.
And where, where did he go?

(58:22):
Oh, there you.
I'm Gears, I do voices.
You'll hear the woman's voice in episode seven.
Really, is that confirmed?
Is that confirmed?
Yes, that is actually confirmed.
And you can find.
I said it in like episode one.
Oh shit.
And you can find all of our socials
and all the cool awesome things that we do.
Get the fuck out of the camera, I'm trying to speak.
Okay, there, okay, what is he doing?

(58:43):
You can find all the cool silly little things that we do.
All my streaming things, all of his things
with his company Mythos Makers.
Web comics, video games, stream, everything.
All of my streaming video stuff
and my 3D printed products that you should go check out.
Fuck, I just might as well sit on fucking John's head.
Yeah, go for it.
John will stay still.
And you can find Gears voice acting stuff,

(59:04):
hopefully, if we have it set up by then,
which we should have a couple episodes ago,
but we still haven't gotten around to it yet.
Well, it's because I can't figure out exactly what
to actually like mark it around my voice
because of how fucking diverse it is.
He has a very diverse voice, go hire him for voice acting.
You can find all of this and more at F3BPodcast.com
The letter F, the number 3, the letter B, podcast.com.

(59:28):
Anyways, get us the fuck out of here.
Hit it.
Thank you for watching.
My balls are gray, outro.
I like that.
I actually really liked that.
Fucking brilliant.
End recording and do not allow audio to corrupt, please.
Or I will crush your balls like the one child did.

(59:49):
My balls are crushed.