EP 21: How Our Clients Heal PTSD, Triple Their Businesses, and Cultivate Lasting Happiness with Lance Dewbre

Ever wondered how to create lasting change in your life? How to move from struggling and suffering to thriving, excelling, and living with purpose? In my conversation with Lance Dewbre, President of the Clarity Coaching Center, we dive into real client success stories—how Lance has helped people uncover and release hidden baggage in order to cultivate the life they dream of.

With our shared unique blend of integrative psychology and ancient Hawaiian healing techniques, we discuss how facing and disrupting old patterns can catalyze profound change, leading to breakthroughs in overcoming challenges like PTSD, managing emotional and familial triggers, and achieving business success. We have the tools and techniques that help you get to the root of the problem and create lasting change.

We also explore how science and spirituality intersect in healing, offering effective methods beyond traditional therapy. From Mental and Emotional Release (MER) to the transformative practice of Ho'oponopono, this episode is packed with practical insights for anyone ready to heal from past trauma and unlock their potential.

Throughout the episode, we discuss how growth, boundaries, acceptance, and embracing change and healing as a continual process play a key role in transformation—whether it's improving relationships, understanding family dynamics, or reconnecting with your true self. Whether you're seeking to improve relationships or searching for a deeper connection to your true self, this episode equips you with the wisdom and tools to foster your own healing journey and create a life you truly love.

Today's Guest:

Lance Dewbre

Website: claritycoachingcenters.com

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Thanks for listening and be well!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm just going to start.
We're just going to start.
Here we are.
This is Lance.
Tell me what your inspirationis.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
You know, I was just, I was just thinking today the
importance, you know, of justany kind of action Like I know
you and I preach, like thesefour requisites for change,
which is totally true.
You know, I use, I've beenusing something lately called a
garden analogy.
I tell my clients look, it'sthis simple.
Let's pretend you got some dirtoutside and you want to make a
garden of some kind.

(00:28):
Well, first, what do you do?
We got to break up.
We got to break up that olddirt.
We got to release the oldbaggage.
It's time to pull out the innerroot or the deepest piece or
whatever.
Right Can't cut through the top.
We got to plow and dig it andtoss it.
Cool, released, what's two?
What's goal set?
Why not get into action yet?
Because we need to know whatthe heck we're doing.
What are we planting, what?

Speaker 1 (00:50):
are we getting in?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
here.
Well, is it a rose garden?
Because maybe you thought oflike a peach thing, or, you know
, is it for the family?
What is it for?
What are we doing here?
Okay, great, now we have anunderstanding.
Cool Three do it it, do theaction, do the thing, or
whatever that is, that startsslowly progressing you towards
whatever.

(01:11):
Number four is your focus, whoyou want to become, why you're
doing it.
Well, it's to share the lovewith my wife, it's to provide
cherries for my kids, you know,and to create that connection of
something we get to share andbond together, right yeah I
think I want to share with youtoo, specifically about action
in particular.
That I just really love is thatit's like talk about this PDF I
was just sharing with you, right?

(01:31):
This little PDF was just firstoff as a two or three pager.
Congratulations.
Here's the four steps to create.
Change A little, a little senseon each one at the end.
Congrats, here's a free call,and I was like you know that
just didn't feel like enough forme.
And then it turned into afour-part or five-part video
series and then a 10-page pdf.

(01:53):
And then I thought, shoot, Icould use this for a speaking
engagement, which is now a full22-page booklet.
Now, right, yeah, and not justfrom there yeah, not necessarily
was the first one the wrong oneor something right, that
doesn't matter.
We're doing action that getsyou to progress towards the goal
.
You know, sometimes that's,that's all we really need.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Speaking my language.
I love it.
It's so good.
I love it when you getinspirations of like download
too.
It's so powerful, absolutely.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay.
So because we are having thisconversation today and there's
obviously people who don't knowexactly what you do and we do a
lot of the same stuff, but Iwould love for you to just share
before we jump into other stuffthat we're both so passionate
about.
Let us know who you are andwhat is your.
Why.
Why do you do what you do?

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Sure.
So hello everyone.
My name is Lance Debris.
I'm the president of theClarity Coaching Center.
I've been doing healing andrelease work since my early
teens with my father, who wasknown as an inner healing pastor
, studied around 20 differentmodalities, including about a
couple thousand hours now ofintegrative psychology, which,
uh, you know.
As you know, city is a big fanof as well.

(03:07):
We also do some huna, ancienthawaiian healing arts and for
those who don't know the realmagic of this, that really blows
my mind is really the step onewhich is releasing, because I've
just never known tools that canactually help you get to the
root of a problem and let it goin such a drastic way.
You could actually readinformation back and not even
feel the same anymore.
So these processes, guys werebuilt by about imagine, like 20

(03:31):
doctors of psychology some ofthem have four or five doctors
each came together with the solepurpose of just trying to help
people heal, which is my big whyI had a lot of doctors, a lot
of psychologists and counselorslike I said, 20 something
healing modalities to try.
Just wanted to fix me, justtired of feeling sad or
depressed or angry oroverreactive and like, or why

(03:51):
can't I date the girl, you knowwhatever that would be like man
and I know I can be more andgrowing up in that world, seeing
a radical change of peoplehaving major forgiveness or
getting over phobias or havingthese amazing experiences with
god, just just blew my mind and,um, basically, just really, you
know, refell in love with itrecently.

(04:11):
The last three or four yearshave done those extra 2 000
hours and, um, I just, I've justseen more and more miracles.
I've seen people with 10 yearsof ptsd gone on a weekend who
tried doctors and other things.
I had another one that justtripled her business within one
of our breakthrough sessionweekends that Sadie and I do.
And this stuff's real powerful,guys.
I mean it's a, it's lifechanging.
And you know, we we both justthat's why we geek out about it,

(04:34):
cause it's real change thathappens.
And you know it's just not somefake whatever stuff.
No, you know tools andtechniques that create real,
lasting change.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
You explained that so , so well and it almost like
makes my body feel lit up inside, like really passionate, and it
brings me back to our, liketraining days and just being in
that energy.
I feel like that's somethingthat's so powerful and profound
about what we do is.
I was thinking about thisactually before we were going to
meet today and it really doesfeel like what we do is on the
cutting edge of healing.

(05:07):
It's not just like let's try tomake ourselves better, let's do
personal development.
It's like no, this is the deepwork, this is what needs to
happen in order for us to gofrom a life that we don't like
being who we don't like, havingthings that we necessarily don't
want to have or doing things wedon't want to do and shifting
and changing that to a totallytransformed experience of not

(05:30):
only ourselves but of ourreality and it it's not years
and years and years of just talktherapy.
If that's what you want to do,that's totally cool, and I
actually do do that with somepeople because that's necessary.
But this what we do is soprofound and it gets to the root
of everything, Like with youranalogy of the plants and the

(05:50):
soil.
It's so funny that you say thatactually, because I was working
with a client last week and Iliterally talked about that very
same analogy.
It was like we were all gettingthis download at the same time.
But I'm like we have to tillthe soil, we have to dig it up.
We have to till the soil, wehave to dig it up, we have to
get uncomfortable, we have tomix some crap up so that we can

(06:11):
get dirty.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
You gotta get a little dirty.
You gotta get a little dirty,you know.
If not, what do you expect?
You gotta put some energy.
You know what you put in iswhat you get out.
So you want to just stare atthe ground.
You want to start, grab ashovel and know I'm going to
create change in my life,purposefully, for some woo, woo,
feel good, whatever.
No, this is intentional workusing languaging that the mind
loves, from a group of peoplethat wanted to create change,
wanted to help, that studied allthe best, brought the best.

(06:32):
This is the best that exists.
Guys, we're just very lucky tohave found it and you are lucky
to be able to hear this, thatyou've found people that are
into this stuff, because thisthing really creates.
I mean, of my favorite thingsto do, girl, is I've had one of
my clients now threebreakthrough sessions.
Every once in a while we'lljust read back the old stuff.
We'll just laugh together likeit's like I said that, like yeah

(06:54):
, you called yourself a crazyass bitch or whatever it is he's
like man, that's rude I'm notthat crazy, you know and just
being able to go back, evensometimes just simple things,
simple things.
I think people get stuck tooLike, oh, I don't have the PTSD
and the major stuff, my guys,but my client still was a
multimillionaire and stilltripled her business.
It's not like you, can you know?

(07:14):
She still needed to release herbelief that she's a she's a
single mom with multiple kids.
She should be able to do that.

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Well, she's already here, she's already done it and
she's losing herself.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
And so we got to be able to work back together and
she got way back on sync,reconnected to her spirituality,
which is her main driving force, is what she said.
And as she did, that, thebusiness just took off because
she got realigned with hervalues.
She releases old ideas that Ican't, won't, shouldn't,
couldn't, wouldn't, no, no, Ican, I will.
What to do?

(07:44):
And that created now newmomentum and new movement which
allowed her to hit the nextlevel.
She got congruent, herteammates got congruent.

Speaker 1 (07:49):
Wow, crazy, crazy, so wild.
I can't believe that that wouldhave happened.
You mean you changed yourenergy and your results changed.
Oh wow, I'm shocked.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
That's amazing though Crickle down effect, right you.
You help that major one at thetop.
When they're clear, the otherpeople have more clarity as well
.

Speaker 1 (08:06):
It's just what happens right, exactly, yeah, I
have been really involved inthis idea lately that we learn
in our training and I think thatI've like even expanded it
wider to literally see.
Every single thing that I havein my reality is a mirror
reflection of what's inside ofme, and there's there's great

(08:27):
things and there's some lessthan great things.
And those are all okay, right,because in my opinion, being
able to accept andunconditionally love everything
that's here in the presentmoment is what gives us
permission to then change it.
If we, like we were talkingabout before we were recording,
I've been in like a resistingpattern in some areas and if I
continue to resist things thennothing's going to change.

(08:48):
So continuing to shift intolike I'm accepting of what's
going on here, that shifts theexternal reality and what we
have and the tools that we haveto help people that's really
what's occurring is we'rehelping them recognize, like
peel back the layers of thingsthat are in your unconscious
mind that you didn't even knowwere there.
We can go back to being in uteroand you felt rejected by your

(09:08):
mother and it's like youwouldn't have ever known that
that's been preventing you fromsuccess in your life.
But when we go digging in thatsoil, we find that we pull that
wound out, help it heal, releasewhat needs to be released,
change any of the beliefs ortransform rather what's
happening from that initialwound, and then it's kind of
peachy from there.

(09:28):
Right, you still have to takeaction, like you were saying
earlier.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
But I love what you're saying.
I have a great analogy actuallyis with the guy that had the 10
years of PTSD.
So basically, his legs gotcaught on fire.
He lost three inches of thewidth of his legs.
He only can walk because he wasa bodybuilder basically on it
with his legs.
He was the leg guy in um, Ithink it was the navy, yeah, the
navy.
So you're gonna love what I'mgonna say because you're it's

(09:53):
gonna.
Well, you just said it makes somuch sense.
So he, because it even blew mymind.
So what happened was, wheneverwe're doing our release work,
right, we're getting, we'regoing back to the time that this
happened and I felt I didn'tfeel it going and I was like,
well, how do you still feelabout this fire stuff?
You know he's like I don't knowman, you know I, because he
couldn't even light a match,couldn't light a candle, like
bad, bad yeah um, and then allof a sudden, I'm like go back to

(10:16):
an earlier time.
When was the first time that youdidn't like maybe feel safe or
something?
And all of a sudden his entirebody was like shifts.
He starts like tearing up thiswhole, like dropping happens in
the room and he's like, well,there's something about.
His dad did something, saidsomething.

(10:37):
Um, I don't remember exactlywhat it was, but just some way
of not feeling safe is just what.
I remember that word.
My dad said I'm no longer safe,or I didn't feel safe with dad
when I was seven and as soon aswe popped that, it all went away
.
Amazing.
He literally got up and I waslike go light a match, he goes.
What do you mean?
I'm like right now it's gone.
Like I can see it, it's gone,dude, he goes really.

(11:05):
I'm like, yeah, really, he popsa match, starts tearing up.
He's like I usually would runout of the room.
I'm not even shaking.
Then this is what really waswild.
He goes.
I want you to put on a show ofum of an old 1980s boxing film
of this guy throwing some gas onsomeone.
I go um, I don't, I don't knowabout that one.
It's too much, much of a test,I don't.
I mean, I'm confident, but Idon't know.

(11:27):
He goes.
No, no, let's do it.
I was like, well, shoot, let'sdo it.
I ain't no pansy Shoot man.
I put it up.
I was having more reaction.
The dude started yawning.
Wow, I was like this is alittle intense for the 80s man.
He's like oh yeah, I used torun out of this part.
Yeah, dude, wow, like what doyou mean?

(11:47):
Like I was.
You know, I was amazed too.
But again, that big lesson,right, there was.
Even.
It wasn't the original event,it was a route from when we were
kids and we had like this, youknow, new dynamic or a new shift
, oh, I'm no longer this, thisor this, and then create a new
paradigm.
So when the unconscious, itdoesn't understand time, is able
to go back and like pop, thatit's called the gestalt theory.

(12:09):
It's just magic that happens,guys.
You know the exact reasons why.
I mean I, you know, I don'tknow if we could necessarily get
into or science even exactlyknows, but there is something
about.
When you gain those learningsand you go behind it and you do
these amazing imaginationexercises where the brain like
just loves, loves the order ofit, like you'll feel an immense
shift or a change.

(12:29):
One of my favorite ones, too,was we worked with someone.
Remember this girl goes to thebathroom, comes back just 30
minutes real quick tool and shegoes oh, you remember it was one
that it was, um, our friendfrom austin, um, jordan, right,
so, jordan, no, I haven'tthought about her in a while.
Anyway, she, we did a 30-minutetool and she basically goes to

(12:52):
the bathroom, comes back and hereyes look like saucers and I
was like, are you okay?
Like did the tool not work?
You look worse, like I'm I'mconfused, and she goes no, you
won't believe what just happened, lance.
I go, what well?
No, we're doing this likeforgiveness exercise, right?
I was like, yeah, she goes.
Well, my ex-fiancee just calledme.

(13:12):
I haven't talked to him inyears and he just randomly
called to apologize.
The way he treated me all thoseyears ago, wow, you can't tell
me.
There ain't some kind ofconnection to this guys?
I mean, I've seen too.
I've seen too many times, twotimes of like that amazing
whatever energetic core we haveall together, you know, and some
bigger eye of whatever this isa hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yes, yeah, that concept for me has led me down a
lot of like learning aboutphysics and quantum theory and
how string theory works and howwe're all connected by
potentially this likesingularity idea.
I don't know, but my conceptaround, because we do MER,
mental, emotional release, andthat is the gestalt theory that

(13:57):
you're talking about.
If anyone who's listening thatdoesn't know some of these like
more technical terms, it'sessentially the idea that your
past is organized in a timelinefashion where, like you are in
utero, then you're a child, thenyou go into teenage years and
adult years and but that's allin like a quote-unquote line and

(14:18):
whether or not you believe theactual line is real or not, your
brain organizes information orcan organize information in that
way.
And so when we do some of ourtools that we use, or the
therapy, the healing therapiesthat we use, we have you float
above that line and float backto these past, past experiences
that you've had and experiencethat experience that you had

(14:42):
then.
Almost you don't have toexperience the experience, but
there's a connection that youhave still to that point in time
that has prevented you frombeing who you really are, and
it's when you go back to thosetimes and like, quote unquote,
like pop the bubble I thinkthat's what you're explaining
and that PTSD client that youworked with, like you pop the

(15:04):
bubble of whatever the beliefwas or the negative emotion, and
that literally reconditions theentire timeline from that point
to this point.
It literally reconditions theentire timeline and it makes you
, in this present moment,different, in order to move on
into a different version ofyourself later.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
Absolutely so.
Well said, I know it makes melaugh when I hear this Cause.
Back in the day, when I washelping my dad when I was 15, he
would actually get upset and alittle angry with people because
they would have such a shift.
They would actually forget.
And I see it now by clients,Like when I go back they'll
forget stuff.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Oh yeah, that happens to me all the time.
Oh yeah, yeah, so yeah, and Ido release work, yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
But yeah, he had no idea what was happening.
He actually thought they werejust randomly lying to him or
something like three hours withyou and you're with your dad.
He's like I don't know, man,I'm not mad at dad, he's like,
but you were like, is it?

Speaker 1 (15:53):
all gone.
Now it's like.
What do you mean?
Like you?

Speaker 2 (15:55):
just couldn't figure, you didn't understand, and they
didn't have the kind of tools.
Deeper understanding, just inthese last 30 years, guys, of
what's going on in science hasproved so much spirituality.
I know there's a lot that don'tmaybe not up to par
understanding, but what they'reable to now realize is quite
wild and quite spirituallyaccurate.

(16:15):
So it's funny how science iscoming all the way back around
again.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Around the world.
We used to think that we knoweverything.
Now, potentially, some peoplerecognize.
Well, used to think that weknow everything.
Now, potentially, some peoplerecognize well, we don't really
know anything.
And now they're coming backaround to be like oh actually,
our spiritual practices and ourthings that we've always known
are actually real and we canprove them now.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, yeah, oh, that's what they meant oh.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Well, I think that's in my opinion.
I feel like the traditional andyou can share with me what your
opinion is but I feel like thetraditional way that most people
are indoctrinated into likehelping themselves is through
therapy or talk therapy, knowthat those are the methods to

(17:02):
use, and I do believe that weneed to have a spiritual
component in order for us tolike truly and genuinely heal.
I feel like, as human beings,we just we have to connect to
what's greater than us in orderfor us to recognize who we
really are.
And that's just how I see itthrough my lens, because

(17:24):
sometimes I'll work with clientsthat they don't necessarily
have a connection to theirhigher power, whatever that may
be for them.

(17:47):
Maybe it's higher self, maybeit's God, maybe it's Jesus,
maybe it's Buddha, krishna,whatever.
But when there's not thatcomponent to it and you're not
as tuned into like energy,energy and all of that it, it
doesn't prevent you from healing, but it can make your process a
little bit slower.
So my point in saying all ofthat is I do feel like the

(18:07):
connection to what's greaterthan us is a really powerful
component to the type of healingthat we do, and we can't just
have just that.
As human beings we also need tohave the mental component and
the actual getting into thenitty gritty, digging in the
dirt type of component.
Because, like me, when I wouldgo to church, um, I would have
like all these beautiful,amazing experiences but I'd

(18:29):
still get back into old patterns.
It wouldn't, like always fullyboost me out of that holding
pattern.
But then when I would dohealing work or I would try
different therapy modalities, itwouldn't always stick if I
didn't also have that connectionto higher power.
So I think that the merrimentthat we do in our type of work
is is like the super poweredversion, if that makes sense.

(18:52):
Do you agree?

Speaker 2 (18:53):
I just worked with a 10 time world dance champion I'm
a few months ago.
He's he's the guy in West coastand country and he's brilliant
in personal growth, of course.
I mean he's the guy you know,probably the best teacher in the
world.
A lot I've had a lot of myteachers say and he was like
Lance, this was like the coolest, funnest weekend.

(19:13):
This was like a spiritualconnection with like mental
performance.
Oh my God, no wonder you can'texplain this to people.
It was like a masterpiece.
He was like he goes, he goes,and this is what he said.
That was so great.
He goes, lance.
What you guys do is you bringthe best out of everything and
you just like, bring in a niceslice of cake, man, I just easy
to eat, easy to understand.
You're taking the best of allpieces of all these modalities.

(19:35):
Because, guys, that's whatintegrative psychology is
Integrative, integrate, right.
Integrative modalities ofpsychology Like it sounds all
fancy but it just means like, oh, we tried a bunch of stuff, we
integrated all of these toolsand techniques to like what
works.
Okay, you know, they triedsomething called a swish, four
or five different ways.
It's just another tool ortechnique, right, they tried it,
starting the bottom and thenthe top and then using hands and

(19:57):
then visualizations Right, andthey worked it.
I mean some of the main guys,guys that we work with.
He manages 28,000 activeclients.
He has 10 doctorates, right.
Dr Kuma, patrick, man, he, youknow, he's the leader of this,
of the board, you know.
So they're bringing in all thebest of the stuff that they can
find and be able to actuallytest it, you know, not just some
.
Oh, I pull out a cereal box.

(20:19):
You know, 28,000 active clients.
We try on this stuff, man, youknow, this stuff works, yeah.
And then obviously, dr Matt,one of our mentors.
He gets that feedback from himand gets to adjust it, you know.
And then we get to learn fromthese mega dudes and give you
guys what they charge a hundredthousands of dollars, you know,
for you know nothing near thatmuch.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Yeah, yeah.
I remember when I first walkedinto my first training of like
the fundamental basics of NLP, Iwas like this is where I need
to be.
This is the right place.
It combines all of thesedifferent tools.
They have this Hawaiian type ofancient healing thing that at
the time I didn't know anythingabout, but I'm like this feels

(21:00):
so good.
I don't know if you have thisexperience, you can tell me if
you do, but there's like a drawthat I had a magnetism to it and
I feel like clients that findme or that are drawn to me they
have a similar draw, but theycan't comprehend it.
They don't know exactly what itis, but they're like I need
that, I want that.
Does that happen for you too?

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Yeah, I would love to .
I'll show you my favorite drawstory in my life.
There's quite a few.
I've had some pretty.
I've been pretty lucky seeingsome of my life called mini
miracles in my life pretty often.
So one of my favorites, though,was those who obviously don't
know my background.
So my dad was known as theWestern ambassador of Dallas.
My family actually helpedrepresent Dallas.
We've worked with Google,twitter, carscom, bon Jovi,

(21:42):
elton John, kevin Hart, ice Cube, porsche, a bunch of stuff.
So a bunch of part of biggerevents would come to Dallas.
They'd come to the Westernstore.
You give them some boots, beer,whatever cowboy hat you know,
sell them on the city.
So it would have made sense tome doing that forever, that that
would be my thing to do or go.
Well, out of the 20 years of alot of arguments and

(22:04):
communication on my family, itstill never felt right right.
The pulling I had was opposite.
I don't want to be in dallasanymore.
I'm so sick of of.
I want to be in nature.
This is my kind of person.
I'm more about people that areholistic and healing, not so
businessy.
I love business.
I know I run a couple companies, don't get me wrong but I just
want more of a grounded person,you know from that.

(22:25):
So I had to really stretch thatand you know this business was
very successful, multiplegenerations.
Very hard to let go when you'reyou don't have another job.
You know you've been there yourwhole life, so.
But I had so much of a draw andso much of a resistance that I
remember going to the store Iwas getting like sick and
nauseous and just angry and Ijust kept fighting it until, you

(22:49):
know, it just got so bad and Iwas like I can't even.
I can't even, I just want tothrow up being here.
You know my family made fun ofme.
They kind of, you know, pokedat me and oh, you're so lucky
and you're just spoiled in somestuff, and I thought they were
right.
So what did I do?
Put my head back in it.
Put my head back in it.
Put my head back in it.
Can anyone else relate?
I hope so.
I can shoot man Beating yourhead at the wall and like why

(23:14):
won't it open?
It's like it's a brick wall,it's breathing you know.
So what happened?
The cool part of the story,right, is I tell my folks I'm
finally done.
I remember I was just told I'mdone.
They're like what do you mean?
I'm like, I'm done as.
I'm done as in sell it done.
Like what are you gonna do, man?
I'm like, well, I'll neverforget.
I said well, all I know is thatthis is getting in the way of

(23:36):
me knowing what I'm supposed todo next, so I have to let it go
wow, it gives me now check thisout, guys.
Less than 24 hours I'm this is,people love this story in the
classroom because there's suchHuna fans we talk about, like
you know this connection.
But basically I'm at the backof a boat.

(23:58):
We're doing a double-deckerparty boat hundred people,
bikinis, barbecue, beer, cowboyhats, big old double-decker boat
right Having a good time.
Music, we're dancing and uh, Ijust remember, you know, maybe
I've had a beer or two,something like that, right
another, wow, I mean everyoneelse is probably pretty hard.

(24:18):
I'm chilling and, uh, everybodyget this like this.
Pooling though and the poolingwas so hard it actually I'll
never forget it passed my mental, because I remember I instantly
turn around and I thought thiscore of my solar plex, I just
started like walking like verystraightforward, to this back of
the back of this boat, and Iremember hearing like what are

(24:41):
you doing?
And I say back to myself Idon't know what are we doing.
And then I hear, well, if youdon't know, and I don't know
who's, who's, what's going on,who's driving the ship, what's
happening?

Speaker 1 (24:58):
metaphorically and physically.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
I'm telling you and all of a sudden I get a hit and
I said this is holy spirit.
And I jumped back to church andit was the same feeling of like
this, leading this, knowingthat I have something for you,
like something beautiful for you, and you just need to like
follow that.

(25:21):
And, as I did, I walk up tothis girl who's literally doing
energy work on someone who justhas her hand out, and I just
look at her and I said I don'tknow who you are or what you're
doing, but you can't lie to mebecause I feel stuff.
And I just felt something overhere and we still laugh back
because it's so awkward.
We're still friends.
Yeah, she just got married,she's doing so well, but yeah,

(25:43):
so I'm like what are you doing?
You know, I know, yeah, I feelenergy.
I pray to people a lot, I workwith people.
I do a lot of.
You know this stuff and thisbackground.
She said, oh my god, that's socool.
I used to be a family counselor.
I have a master's degree in itand you know, I barely get any
results.
I was like, really she goes,yeah, but ever since I found
this like nlp mer, thesebreakthrough sessions, man, I
don't just get results, I getwild results every time.

(26:06):
That's what you should go do wow, oh my god, full body chills
and uh, as I was driving home, Iremember praying to myself, I
said, wow, lord, I was drivingyou down and I was really angry
because I felt like youabandoned me.
Did you just tell me what to do?

(26:27):
Like the next day, I just justheard back, yeah and so, and
then, instead of being grateful,I got pissed.
I said, wow, I took you so long.
You know, we stopped the drive.
I started like to myself as I'mdriving, like I feel like a
crazy guy just talking to myselfas I'm driving and I hear back

(26:47):
in my own spiritual way.
Whatever it was, however thathappens, I heard back Lance,
I've been waiting for you.
You didn't notice.
I showed up the next day.
Your foot's.
Never you've had one foot in,one foot out.
You've never committed.
You finally committed.
Now I'm able to use you.

Speaker 1 (27:05):
Yes, that's so good.
I just just feel it.
I can feel it in my core.
I'm like, yeah, it's so good.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
I just you know, it's such a beautiful moment of like
when I chose guys, when wechoose to release and let go and
empty that hand.
That hand is now able toreceive something new, you know.
But that faith there and we getmad at God or whatever, like
like, oh, you're not there, oh,hey, how about, maybe it's us?
You're still your dad's store.
I can't use you.

(27:35):
You're supposed to be inColorado.
I mean, I can't use you there.
You feel sick.
I was going to talk to youabout it.
You don't want to be there.
You hate it.
Yeah, you keep doing things thatyou hate.
But again, right, we thinksometimes oh no, you know, we
got to force it and put it inthe box and fit that square and
the round hole or whatever.
But something I love talking tomy clients about is that

(27:56):
there's a difference betweenbreaking through a barrier and
this ain't your way, it's notyour path.
You're on the wrong path versusno, it's time to kick some ass
and work.
Dude, Give us some action rightVersus this is not your girl,
dude, Like that's, that's no,you know not one to date.

Speaker 1 (28:15):
Oh yeah, oh yeah.
I experienced that.
I was just working with aclient last week and she, bless
her heart, she was in anengagement.
She didn't know if this wasfully her partner.
It was a lot of chaos and a lotof confusion and not knowing,
and I could feel some thingsintuitively and I was guiding
her through the process of herbecoming more herself and

(28:35):
releasing what needs to get outof the way in order for her to
have clarity, to make thedecision.
Like I'm not going to tell herlike well, you need to be with
this person or you don't.
You're going to make acommitment to this person for
the rest of your life and you'llbe happy or miserable.
That's not my call to make, butI was helping get things out of
the way for her to listen toher own knowing and, lo and
behold, she makes a decisionthey don't get married.

(28:58):
She has separated from him andnow she is actually coming back
home to herself Like she's waymore in her feminine energy.
She's one of the top performingpeople in one of the fortune 500
companies in New York and iscrushing that, and now she has
boundaries right Before she,like, was getting run over time

(29:20):
and time again by so much of thework and all the stress and all
the people that needed her andall these different directions,
and she's not setting boundaries.
She's coming back home toherself.
So, to your point, like, are yousupposed to break through a
barrier or are you just beingshown that you're just not on
the right path?
That was an example of like I'mnot going to say that she was on
the quote unquote wrong path,cause I do believe everything

(29:40):
that we experience can be usedfor our benefit and, at the end
of the day, if you're preventedfrom being yourself and you just
can't get in the groove of that, there might be a quote unquote
roadblock.
That's actually a sign thatsays you're supposed to go this
way not through, not go around,but just turn left instead of

(30:01):
trying to keep pushing, pushing,pushing, pushing, resisting,
resisting, resisting, resisting.
That just that doesn't help.
That, in my opinion and you cantell me if this feels true for
you and what you've experiencedwith people when you just push
and you push and you push andyou push, it's like you just get
beaten up over and over andover again and you're just not
feeling the nuances of like oh,I actually need to go in this
direction instead oh, so muchgosh, so much good there.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
So yeah, a few things in my mind.
One is I had a client like thatrecently too.
She was married for six, sevenyears, you know, and she said,
well, I'm thinking about, youknow, breaking up with my
husband and I was like, hey, man, don't point no fingers at me,
you know, and that's not youknow.

(30:46):
Remember, what we're doing hereis we're helping you discover
yourself tangible.
That's long lasting at the endof the day.
Um, yeah, she had where she wasone of the top uh, keller
williams girls in all of texas,or something like top 100 or
whatever, and she went from tonothing and she said her husband
, basically, was treating her sobad that once her and her son
both had covid so sick that theycollapsed on the stairs and he

(31:09):
would just like walk over him.
God, and so I remember he saidwell, I said look, I, I.
There's no way I can tell youwhat to do, nor should you put
the responsibility of me sayingsomething was why you made a
decision.
You need to make a decision.
I'm just asking you to imagine10 years from now.
Are you okay with being treatedthis way?
If not, something has to change.

(31:30):
If you know I want to betreated this way, you have to
decide what that change is.
I don't know what that is.
Is it boundaries?
Is it some family counseling?
Does he do a breakthrough withme?
I don't know.
You know him, you know.
And then, yeah, I mean she,right off the breakthrough
session, she was like done withthis loser.
Whatever, you know.
I was like okay, you know, shejust like it's totally different

(31:50):
person.
She's crushing it.
She's seeing pictures, thesehot guys she's dating.
She's been doing real estateagain, she's got her own place.
I mean, yeah, you know she'scrushing it now and yeah, you
gotta.
I mean, I think aboutbehavioral flexibility.
I think about there's nofailure, only feedback.
You know how we just look atthat.
No, I'm not going to fail therelationship, guys.
We're here to grow and evolve.

(32:11):
We're here to spiral up.
At the end of the day, though,let's, let's look at some
actually share this with aclient earlier I love talk about
like a dating analogy.
I was like, look, man, if youkeep pulling the same type of
girl, or hey, sweetheart, if youkeep pulling in the same type
of abusive guy, you can't keepjust pointing to the guy Well,
you've pulled in the same dudewith 10 different names, but

(32:32):
they'll look kind of the sameand act the same and kind of be
the same.
It's the same story.
Well, there's probablysomething in you that's
attracting that energeticallythat needs to be healed.
Therefore, that magnetism thathappens in this quantum world
detaches and no longer startsattracting that anymore, because
you have surpassed that samething too.
When we outgrow friends, guys.

(32:53):
I'm so glad I heard thisrecently actually really helped
me.
He said, guys, as we grow andevolve especially if you're
challenging yourself and you'rean entrepreneur and you own
multiple business and yourpersonal growth, which we're in
all that, you know, he saidyou're just in a few of that.
We're in all that becauseyou're going to surpass people
and nothing means you're betterthan them.
You're just going to, you'renot going to click anymore.
You're going to have differenttopics, different things.

(33:14):
It's like if you have a kid allof a sudden and your best
friend doesn't, you're not goingto have that conversation.
So you know it's okay forthings to change, but you want
to keep that spiraling up andnot stick in the same place
because you keep getting thesame feedback Boy or girl it's
you, I'm sorry, you know it's us.
It's us if this keeps happening.
Now does everything in theworld, you know, a frog jump

(33:34):
past me and means I need to dosomething?
I don't know, maybe, maybe Imean that's a lot of thinking,
though Let me tell you I used toget stuck on that.
It really bothered me.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
I'm like well, I don't know, I was like we're on
a paranoid.

Speaker 2 (33:53):
I'm like I saw the snail, like is it me?
I'm too slow in my, you know,no, it's too much, but you know
we get the consistency orsomething that's definitely been
repeated.
Absolutely, you know, is itlike time and the whole, like
how you do one thing is how youdo everything.
Well, truth to that.
I, my comfort zone and one ofthe things I noticed was a lot
of my corporate background inselling was coming out in the

(34:15):
dating.
You know, I didn't realize so Iwas like pitching these girls
and trying to sell myself allthe time and, like you said,
that was a push, though right,trying to force it and push it.
I didn't even realize I wasdoing that.
I got thousands of hours of.
I even went to college forspeaking guys.
You know what I'm saying.
I'm pretty good at it and Ihave a gift for it and I'm
screwing up.
So you know, it's all good oh, Ilove that.

Speaker 1 (34:40):
Isn't it sometimes so funny how, like, our greatest
gifts can be our Achilles heeland, like, shoot us in the foot
in some area of our life?

Speaker 2 (34:48):
aim into that.

Speaker 1 (34:48):
You know that's right yeah, I um on that topic of
like, I used to actually seesnails a lot and I had the exact
same experience.
I'm not even kidding, I'm notjust saying that to like make it
funny, but I literally hadsnails go through my pavement
when I used to live in.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
I've never haven't seen a snail in like four years.
I know, I know it's so weirdand I'm like man.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
I wonder if these are showing me that I'm like too
slow in this area or that I needto slow down.

Speaker 2 (35:18):
I was like, I was like getting slow down.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
Oh my God.
Okay, I saw a snail.
That means I need to slow down.

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:26):
I definitely had to take a step back from that.
I feel like that's a phase thatI've gone through.
I noticed people go through andthey're up leveling and, you
know, getting be more authentic,like all of these different
keyword buzzword stuff.
I feel like the key to gettingthrough that door really is like

(35:54):
self-awareness.
And when you become soself-aware that you think that
everything has something to dowith a sign or it means
something.
You know, angel numbers.
I was really into that for areally long time, like oh my God
, it's 11.
You know, I think that I sentyou a text at one 11 and I was
reminded like oh my God, you'reright, I love angel numbers.
Those are so cool.
I do believe that those arelike synchronistic and time and

(36:17):
numbers and all that.
I'm kind of getting on a tangenthere.
But to your point, I feel likewe don't have to take everything
so literally and seriously.
But on that same token, likeyou said I like how you said it
where it's like if something'srepeatingly showing itself to
you over and over and over again, then that's an indication that

(36:37):
something is going on inside ofyou that needs to be healed.
It doesn't mean that it needsjudgment.
It doesn't mean it needscriticism.
It doesn't mean it needs to berejected or to be abandoned or
to be hurt.
It means that that part needsto be seen.
It needs to be rejected or tobe abandoned or to be hurt.
It means that that part needsto be seen, it needs to be
acknowledged and it needs to behealed.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
And it's not even you .

Speaker 1 (36:54):
Right.

Speaker 2 (36:55):
It's not even us guys .
That's a big, huge thing thatfinally clicked for me.
Oh, I'm not this anger, thisfeeling or this emotion.
I mean I can't, because if I'mexperiencing it and witnessing
it, therefore it's a subject,objective, objective thing,
right.
So then, the days, as wepractice that too, of pulling
away and watching and not beingalways led by the mind, right,
but being in charge, we like tosay to those who don't know,

(37:16):
like being at cause versus beingin fact, well, if I'm being in
cause, I'm literally choosingversus effect is like oh, it's
everyone else's fault.
Everything else it's not aboutme.
Oh no, I'm amazing.
You know who wants you're on.
That person, I mean, you know,doesn't ever apologize or points
fingers on that.
No, hey, you know I apologize.
Please forgive me.
Let me work on somecommunication.

(37:37):
Did I not speak my boundaries?
How can I help you know youfeel more valuable.
How can we express love to eachother?
Communication, guys, and likeyou said, and my breakthroughs
are so powerful because it'sit's that self-understanding of
you.
You guys, we gotta know aboutourselves first before we can
give people feedback on how totreat us hello, yeah, 100.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
You need to know how you treat you, because how you
treat you is how you'll trainother people, whether you're
aware of it or not, how theytreat you, oh you know that you
are at the center and the seatof power of what you are
experiencing, and I do thinkthat sometimes that message is a
little bit hard to receive.
Like taking the feedback ofresponsibility, of like oh, it's

(38:19):
not that I was at fault forthis, but I was at cause for
this.
I had the ingredients necessaryto create this experience or
witness this, whatever, whatever.
I remember very specifically DrKumu Matt talking about this
exact principle in our training,and I mean, this was like a
really long time ago, so I'mgoing to do my best to recapture

(38:42):
it but he was talking about,like you know, an experience as
tragic and horrible as, let'ssay, like a natural disaster,
like a hurricane or the firesthat just happened in la, or
even, you know, uh abusephysical, mental yeah, those
types of things.
It's not because you are a badperson or that you're, like at

(39:03):
fault for it, and the being atcause principle is to state that
not everything that you have inyour reality is your fault or
you're doing.
However, there's a vibration oran energy or something inside
of you that has allowed you tosee that outside of you so that
you can interpret it as data andinformation to then heal

(39:26):
whatever's inside of you.
That's attracting that type ofexperience or witnessing that
type of something.
Now, somebody who experiencedthe LA fires might be like well,
f you, like I, didn't expect orwant to experience all this
grief and all this loss and allthese different things, and I'm
like, is there some part of youthat needs to heal grief?
Did you have a loss earlier inyour life that you've never been
able to let go of?

(39:47):
And now you, your soul, createdthis experience for you to have
like 10 times higher of a loss,so that you could process the
grief that you never letyourself feel before.
Like that's a possibility.
I'm not saying that'severyone's case, but that's what
I'm trying to get at here.
When, like, we come into thislife and our souls have a
blueprint plan and we havedifferent wounds that we come in

(40:08):
with and a different patternand way of being.
The intention really is to healourselves, to become more of
who we really are and be able tosee outside of us.
That's actually supposed tohelp you.
Like witnessing something ashorrible and tragic as your
house burning down I know thatthat's hard to say.
Like well, that was supposed tohelp me.

(40:29):
Like f you get off my back, youknow.
But it's like, at the end ofthe day, you can shift to that
type of vibration, thatexperience, and you can use that
situation though it's anegative experience, and you can
use it in a positive way tobenefit you in some way.
That's the powerful mindset andthat's how you get through
these.
Like really challengingexperiences in life that you

(40:51):
wouldn't naturally and normallythink were to serve you in some
way, like that happened to mewith my illness in 2023.
I was paralyzed over and overagain.
I couldn't move, I couldn'tspeak.
It was horrible in all of thesenses of the term.
Like it was a terribleexperience and I would never
wish that upon anybody, but whatit did was allowed me to
actually show how powerful I amto myself, not other people.

(41:14):
I didn't really want anybody toknow what was happening to me,
but I could prove to myself thatI have the strength and the
willpower and I have all thetools to be able to heal myself,
and that that's actuallypossible.
So now I get to be like aliving case study, an example of
like this shit really works,guys, like it's not just a pie
in the sky that we talk about,like we actually do this for and

(41:36):
with ourselves and with ourpeople, and when we have a
congruency and a belief thatthis works, that's what makes it
work.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
So so many, so many good things there.
I was actually going to say too, even seeing you now, because
it's been a while since we'veseen each other face to face,
like you just look so much morecongruent and so much color and
like so much just solidness inyou now, which is really neat to
see thank you.

Speaker 1 (42:01):
I've been working very hard on it.
I think that's the thing, too,that you know, we in our culture
, we want really quick things.
Like we want and I am totallyguilty for this Like we just
want the.
The millennials, I think,especially we want the instant
gratification.
We want the thing now, we wantthe quick tool, we want the five
minute thing and while we dohave that, we have those tools

(42:22):
that are like boom, we can likeget rid of a lifetime of trauma
in 30 minutes or whatever.
Um, there's also the healingprocess is that it's a process
we do a breakthrough session.
That doesn't mean that yourwork is over.
That doesn't mean that you'retotally healed from everything
in your whole life.
Like, life is a continuum andyou get to experience it through

(42:45):
time and you're going to haveups and downs.
I work with people for longperiods of time, depending on
what they're wanting to workthrough, because they might have
like a lot of stuff on theirgoal list and I, without fail,
over the last six to eight years, without fail, when I have
witnessed people through theirjourney and on their path,
they've got ups and downs.
Everyone has those.

(43:07):
It's like it's not.
It's not bad or wrong, for youto have ups and downs.
So, like I was in a low periodwhen I had my illness, that was
a big fricking down.
But now I've been on the comeup and it's like great.
Now, you know, I get to be ontop of my mountain and I call
them valleys and mountainsbecause valleys are beautiful
and mountains are beautiful.
Being on the top is an amazingexperience.

(43:28):
Being down on the bottom andlooking up and like the
potential that you could climbup is also amazing.
So we don't need to havejudgment around it being good or
bad, right or wrong.
This is where I want to be.
This is where I don't want tobe.
Sometimes it's helpful toevaluate and establish and
determine, like, where you're atand where you want to go.

Speaker 2 (43:54):
But at the end of the day, when you've got these ups
and downs, like they're allvaluable.
In my opinion they all are,especially if you mean, well, I
can tell people who want to.
You know, maybe fight that orwhatever and go.
You know no, or you know ignoreit or no, that was just bad or
whatever it is.
It's like okay.
Well then, you basically arejust then.
Just do that about everything.
I guess you know now what.
I mean now what?
Right Now, you have no optionsto learn.
You're just going to say you'restuck and life's all bad or
whatever.
Well, there's no option therenow.
You know, I love what, like TonyRobbins says right, if we

(44:16):
believe it's happening for usinstead of against us.
Game over, we win, right, westick on that, like all right,
cool.
Well, what can I learn fromthis?
How can I grow from this?
What you know, I was thinkingtoo I don't think you even know
this about me, but my dad and Iboth were known as being very
dyslexic adhd dysgraphia, um,other labels of things and

(44:36):
whatnot.
We had to go to special edrooms.
I even hung out with peoplethat were had quite, quite
severe issues which, you know,bothered me.
Um, coming from a family thatruns three companies, like, oh,
you know, I'm putting thesespecial ed rooms.
My dad couldn't read till hewas in his mid thirties, felt
very stupid, very dumb, you know.
So, yeah, is that a fun thing?

(44:57):
Not necessarily.
Is it fun that I have to studythree times harder than my
friends and still make it a C?
No, let me tell you that's notvery fun in high school.

Speaker 1 (45:04):
Is it fun to go to?

Speaker 2 (45:05):
all your Saturdays you have to go to special ed
places to teach you how to spell.
That's not very fun.
How about brain probes stuck toyour head to teach you how to
focus?
Yeah, I did that.
Well, jelly in my head.
Brain probes, shit.
Like, teach me how to focus.
It's called a cricket game,really.
This cricket would jump as Iwould focus.
It would teach me how to use mylike focus and not be so like

(45:26):
distracting.
Right, funny enough, though.
I'll never forget.
I did that for a couple ofmonths now, I remember, and I
went.
I don't need to go back anymore, mom, she goes.
What do you mean?
I went, I don't know I can doit now and, like it, taught me
how to you know focus.
And with that embarrassment,with that frustration, uh, well,

(45:46):
one more I'll say to tie ittogether, when I really realized
the benefit I had with my, withmy family and you know this
dyslexia stuff and everything,was this one day in college I'm
flirting with this girl, thoughtshe was cute, she wore these
glasses cute nerdy girl, darkhair, uh, and I was chatting
with her, I was just trying to,you know, start a conversation.

(46:07):
So I said, hey, you know youexcited for the test.
You just study a lot.
She's like, no, I don't need tostudy.
I go oh, okay, that's cool, areyou?
Just?
You're just really good to goodat excel, I guess she goes yeah
, that's actually.
I got full-fledged scholarshipbecause I'm so good at excel and
numbers and things.
I was like, oh, that's wow,that's cool.
She was yeah, I've actuallynever had to study for a test.
I go.

(46:27):
Well, never.
She goes.
No, you know.
My response was I said I feelbad for you.
First time she ever heard thatI bet.

Speaker 1 (46:42):
I bet so.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
And she goes what do you mean?
I went, I just realizedsomething I've had to do my
whole life three times, fourtimes, maybe five times harder
than you.
She goes well, that's not true.
I went, you sure, you justdon't even ever studied.
Let me tell you, I have studiedcrazy hours.
So oh yeah, me tell you I havestudied crazy hours.

(47:07):
So oh yeah.
And then I said but you knowwhat, when you've given up, it's
probably when I've just firststarted yeah so much grit I have
put in me, I will.
I will now annihilate.
You know I'm gonna run overpeople now like because I've had
to.
I had to learn me.
I had to know the embarrassmentof the special classes, having
to learn to study a certain way,how to do draw pictures and do

(47:27):
funny stories, because that'show it would stick for me and I
had to figure it out.
And all the frustration ofbeing angry at myself and why I
can't be a normal person.
And why am I so different?
Why do I feel emotions sointensely?
Why do my parents who's a dad,who's an amazing pastor and a
healer so angry at home?
Well, I look back now.
Hmm, I'm now using all of this,all of it so well too.

(47:52):
Of these travels I did andliving in Australia, new Zealand
and having I was introducedinto personal growth and
development, how my parents hadmassive arguments.
So I would help as a kid, liketrying to talk it out, try to
help figure it out.
I got very emotionallyintelligent.
Was that fun to listen to mydad scream at me for five hours?
No, it was not.
When you're 15, let me tell youit is not.
But you know.

(48:12):
But what can we take from itguys.
What can we learn?
Gather my dad always.
I mean my dad and I we're greatbuddies now.
We just had issues back then,but we talk all the time.
Yeah, lance, eat the chicken,throw in the bones man.
We got to toss the bones man.
Sorry, I was rough with you,lance, you got to toss the bones
.
Try to remember the good timesthat we played catch.

(48:33):
I was so mean man, I was reallyhurting.
I was helping everybody else,I'm not helping myself.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
I know, dad, you know you didn't know man, it's all
good, I see it now.
Sorry for the pieces of me.
I'm not seeing you as a human,blaming you right, that's what's
so powerful, too, like I loveyour vulnerability.
Thank you for for sharing thatand really like letting yourself
open to that, because I thinkit's so relatable to so many
people and a lot of what I findprevents myself and other people
that we work with from gettingto the next level of healing
themselves, being morethemselves, having more of what
they want, doing more of whatthey want, being who they want.
All of that good stuff is thatpiece is being able to see

(49:14):
everyone around them as otherhuman beings, especially our
parents.
I feel like we have and I don'tmean to say we cause I'm
projecting, but I mean like ingeneral.
I feel like a lot of people andI say this because I've worked
with a lot of people that havethis we like idolize our parents
and think that they're supposedto be this way, that way and

(49:34):
the other way, and that theyneed to be these perfect
specimens of how they behave andhow they act, and when we're
teenagers and kids, we don'tunderstand things and sometimes,
if we don't go down the path ofself-awareness and of personal
development and growth and allthat, we still can't get there
to really understand thateveryone around us is just human
.
More often than not, they'redoing the best they can with

(49:55):
what they have and the tools atthe time.
Because I have similar storieswhere in my childhood, the story
that my inner child took frommy childhood was all of this
horrible trauma that happened tome.
And as I've healed and I'm ableto rewrite that story, I
actually genuinely believe,through what we've learned with

(50:16):
MER and the tools that we useand just other things I've
studied and the ways of being,that I believe I do genuinely
believe we can rewrite thoseexperiences, and so my childhood
has now been rewritten toreflect the person that I am
today.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
So it makes so much sense.
I think about how I, with mine,with my dad, I look back now
and maybe 10 years ago I'd belike, yeah, dad's an asshole
who's obsessed with money.
You know, that's my childhoodAlways money free businesses.
We never, you know, we alwaysmade jokes there's no dinner
table, only business table, youknow.
And now I get to look backhealed.
My dad and I are doing businessstill together today.

(50:52):
I mean, he's a masterpractitioner now he's gone to
HUNA.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
Oh, really yeah, he wants to go to trainer's
training now.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
This, this, next amazing.
Yeah, yeah, mom did too.
Mom did huna and masterprack.
They both loved it.
Yeah, so he's.
We were already doing likegonna start doing bigger
corporate stuff pretty soon,like doing breakthrough sessions
for corporations like the majorthe major guys.

Speaker 1 (51:13):
But, um, that's amazing.
Yeah, no, I love that.
I feel like for me, too, thefirst time that I did
ho'oponopono in the version andthe way that we do it, the
forgiveness process, theHawaiian forgiveness process.
It's not like the traditionalAmericanized version of like I'm
sorry, thank you, I love you.
What was the fourth one?
I forget how the Americanversion does it Sometimes I'll

(51:34):
do that, but the way that we doit, that we've been taught that
was so profound for me, my firstexperience.
I can remember if I like closemy eyes, I'm back in that moment
and I did Ho'oponopono with mymom and my dad separately and it
was so, so profound for me thatI was finally able to express

(51:54):
like this is the way that I felt.
I felt hurt, I felt rejected, Ifelt unseen, I felt unheard, I
felt abandoned.
I felt all of these differentcrazy things.
That was like chaos and justturmoil inside of me.
That was reflecting in my lifeas an adult in my early twenties
at the time, and and in myteenage years, and as I was able

(52:15):
to like let go of holding allthose grudges and be able to
forgive them and forgive myself,that was really like what
spurred me to be like, oh my God, this stuff is so freaking
powerful.
I think that forgiveness is oneof the most, if not the most
powerful experiences that we cando as humans, and sometimes

(52:36):
it's the hardest.
But that's just what makes itso potent and powerful is
because it's not just theeasiest thing that you can do,
like left, right, center, it'slike this is what you do in
order to be able to see peoplefor who they are and to humanize
your parents instead of deifythem, and recognize that you, as

(52:56):
a soul, came into this lifewith specific wounds and
patterns, like I was sayingearlier, that are not other
people's fault and they're notyour fault.
Like I used to have a reallystrong victim mentality.
That's like everyone's hurtingme and everyone blah, blah, like
I need attention, blah, blah.
You know, and it was veryannoying.
I was annoyed with myself and,as I like, was able to like

(53:21):
release a lot of those layers oflike the victimhood and needing
the attention and wearing themask of dependency and having a
wound of abandonment and all ofthat stuff.
It helps me see like, oh, myparents actually feel abandoned
by me at times.
My parents feel rejected by meat times.
They feel betrayed by me attimes.
So it's not just them havingdone it to me.

(53:42):
They feel betrayed by me attimes, so it's not just them
having done it to me.
There's a converse energyexchange.
That's happening, and I'm nottotally innocent either.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Yes, and I want to add to that guys, who's
listening?
Like that's why when you heal,you no longer redo the
programming or the system or thething, because you've done that
.
You know healing process, andthen they won't even be able to
do it because they'll, they'llkick into their old gear and
you're just like, oh, I'm good.
Oh you're like, oh well, have anice day.
And they're like, oh, I don'tknow what to do now, you know.
And that actually really makesthem rewire themselves because

(54:12):
you're not helping them scootdown the same slope of the snow
hill.

Speaker 1 (54:16):
Right, yeah, it's like I think of it like tracks.
Like I think of it like tracks.
If you're driving down tracksand let's just say, for sake of
example, your, your parents, aredriving down the same tracks,
but you're driving at each other, right, when you're on the same
track of the same wound orwearing the same masks or even
wounds that maybe trigger eachother and I'm using this
language because of a book Irecently read, but it's

(54:37):
obviously very centered aroundthe work that we do.
But if we're on the same track,when you heal, you shift to a
different track, so you're notheading face on for a collision
with that person in whatever way, shape or form.
That that means to you.
You're on a different track andthat allows them to shift to a
different track where you canactually just pass by each other
more calmly and peacefully andit doesn't have a big chaos

(55:00):
component to it.

Speaker 2 (55:02):
I would love to add something here.
I remember when my dad and Ifirst realized what you're
saying.
I didn't even realize what werealized until you just said it
now, basically.
But I remember my dad and Icame to visit me when I was
living in Australia, new Zealand.
I was there about a year.
I was about to come home.
My dad was like man, I'vealways wanted to come to
Australia.
I was like why don't you heardad, like, why don't you do like

(55:22):
a rebonding thing?
You just come out for a fewweeks, you know, and he's like
all right, you know he flew outand we had, you know, some
really serious heart-to-hearttalks, some pretty serious
arguments, you know some.
You know pretty firm yellingthat came up and whatnot, and
then what we ended on the end ofthe day was like we didn't
realize how muchmiscommunication there was
happening and we both said thatwe have to agree now that we

(55:44):
both know we want the best foreach other.
So if there's somethinghappening that doesn't seem to
be coming across that way, it'sa communication problem, not a
personal issue.
Massively changed it.
We stop all the time now.
No, you know, I love you.
No.

Speaker 1 (56:00):
I might listen to this.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
I love you.
So you being angry and doingthis ain't gonna know.
You know I'm gonna.
I'm gonna do this, man, I'mtrying to help you.
I'm trying to help you on liketoday.
I saw my dad was linkedin.
Hey, man, like lance, you'regetting mad, mad at me.
Sorry man, I'm just frustrated,you know I'm human I'm you know
I've done a bunch of work onmyself.
I still, you know, have myfrustrations and hey.
But you know, I'm sorry, dad,I'm here to help you, man, I was
just trying to help you.

(56:22):
My bad, you know.
Oh, yeah, that's right, youwere right.
Yeah, man, I was just trying tohelp.
You know, I could see how itcame across rude, that's my bad
yeah, taking ownership and we'rejust cutting it so fast now.
You know, used to be hours, nowit's seconds right, that's the
thing.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
Like we cut it down, we cut, I guess, what we would
call conflict or discrepancies,miscommunications, errors, like
the icky feelings that we mightexperience when we heal those
shrink and they don't.
They might not alwaysnecessarily completely disappear
.
That's for your soul todetermine if that's on your path
.

Speaker 2 (56:56):
Some do, some don't, some are layers, some go right
away.
I mean, that's a whole whoknows on that, like different
reasons and layers and things.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Right, yeah, I have found.
Specifically when, like I doMER with somebody or you know,
we're doing an NLP process whereI'm like questioning them and I
love using the Cartesian logicI know you were showing me a
really amazing manual thatyou're coming up with and you
have this like Cartesian logicof what would happen if this did
happen, what would happen ifthis didn't happen, what
wouldn't if this thing didhappen, what wouldn't happen if

(57:25):
this thing didn't happen.
It's like a positive, positive,positive, negative, negative,
positive, negative, negative.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
Very good.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
I love.
I love Cartesian logic, butwhen we do those things, we ask
ourselves those questions, we gothrough these processes.
It will trim down our conflictor our discomfort or the things
that we don't like experiencing,which gives us room and space
to have more of what we wouldlike to have, like in your
relationship with your father.
You have more of an experiencenow of what you would like to

(57:55):
have, even if it's not perfect,even if it's not tip top, and
sometimes you still push eachother's buttons and frustrate
each other.
That happens to me and my momand my dad and literally
everybody in my life Likethere's still little things here
and there.
That's like we're not perfect,but we're not asking for perfect
.
We're asking for progress sothat you have more space.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
Perfect doesn't exist .
Perfect literally does notexist.
It is completely made up.
We all have different realitiesof what we think is beautiful
and awesome.
How else can we, we everyonemarry each other?
There's no perfect.
It doesn't exist, guys, it'sjust like he's.
I love.
He said no perfect, it's allprogress, it's all information
coming in.
You know, I love what you saidtoo.
We shorten it, we, we, you know, we trim it down.

(58:32):
And I love you said even todaytoo.
It makes me think about likewow, lance, that's right, give
yourself more grace, dude.
You used to yell your dad twoor three hours.
Y'all used to get each other'sthroats.
Now it's minutes, like, and ifthat, sometimes I don't even
like I'm.
The other day I was like I'mhanging up, you're up mad.
Today I don't know.
Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow,yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:57):
When you're on that different track.
When you're on a differenttrack, you're like, oh, I don't
engage with this behavior, soI'm going to set it aside.
You're not like that's such a.
That's something that I thinkis like oh, I just really want
to like drive this point home,cause it's helped me so much.
A lot of what I do with peopleis what's really helped me.
I'm like I'm on this likeself-healing journey and because
I progress and I grow and I,you know, become more of myself,

(59:19):
I want that for other people sobad, like my soul is just so
driven.
My why is like I want people toexperience the life that they
love to live.
I don't know what it is, Idon't know what it looks like,
what it sounds like or feelslike, but I want them to have
that and I've continually madeit for myself to have, or I've
made it such that I can have itmyself.
And that's the thing, like whenyou're on the different track,

(59:41):
you don't need the lesson toheal that wound anymore, you've
already healed it.
So when it shows up in your, inyour life or your reality, it's
almost like it's not that youbecome blind to it, but you,
just you.
You pass it by, you say no toit.
It's not like a yes, let'sengage.
It's like oh, I'm noticing thisthing, I've already learned my
lesson from that, I don't needit anymore.
That happens a lot inrelationships.
If I work with women that aredating a certain type of guy

(01:00:03):
over and over again, when theyfinally learn the lesson of
whatever wound or whatever partof themselves that person is
showing them or reflecting tothem, they're like oh, light
bulb, I don't need that kind ofperson anymore.
I'm ready for somethingdifferent you know the two.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
That's why we could be a cause again, right?
Oh, let's look inward.
What can we change?
What boundaries can we hold?
You know, I love boundaries too.
It's such a good, but you know,we could do a whole another
podcast entirely on justboundaries.
Man, we should.
Yes, oh, that's right.
One thing I wanted to mentiontoo boundaries, one of my
favorite things I learned tomaster practice.
Well, you mentioned about, likeyou know, the change afterwards

(01:00:36):
too.
I was picturing whenever Ifirst had a breakthrough session
and everyone everyone saw adifference.
Even my mom was like oh my God,you know, you look so different
and my voice I'll never forgetwas like really low.
Like afterwards I came outhello everyone, how are you Like
?
Oh my gosh, lance, whathappened?
I was like I don't know.
My voice is like low, like whyI'm like I don't know.

(01:00:56):
I just feel relaxed, like Idon't know what happened.
This is shit, I can't work, youknow.
And then she reread back likemy original breakthrough I'm
like I don't feel any of that.

Speaker 1 (01:01:03):
Well, that is an asshole.
That's fine.
Like so am I, Whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:01:06):
You know, like it was such a different reaction to
like all this you knowfrustration I had it was just
amazing, you know and two of hislives.
Uh, the other day he said hehad this one lady in austin who
had this like massive cricketphobia, like massive, massive,

(01:01:26):
like sometimes the boys wouldjust say the word cricket, she
literally would just like,shiver and like get nauseous and
all that wow, one 30 minute umphobia model pattern and knocked
it out.
No reaction, like what kind ofenergy does that save a person?
or some talk therapy trying totalk out the crickets and try to
figure no, let's release thecricket.
You know Cricket wants to begone, man, you know yeah cricket

(01:01:51):
wants to be gone.

Speaker 1 (01:01:52):
That should be like a slogan or a tagline for, like a
clothing company Cricket wantsto be gone.
I love that.
Well, this has been such anamazingly fun, vibrant, lively
conversation and I love justjamming on things that we do and
why we do it and really for theintention and purpose of

(01:02:13):
helping other people who aretuned into this and listening to
it.
If somebody wanted to get intouch with you, where would be a
good place for them to find you?

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
Well, thank you.
My website isClarityCoachingCenters any with
an S dot com.
I own the other one, but Ihaven't had it merged yet and
that's it.
It's LanceDeBrieClarityCoachingCenterscom.
You can click a free call there.
I always have a free 30 minuteoffer for whoever finds the site
.
So if you want to chat, begreat, and of course, this
amazing city is fantastic aswell.
You'll have an amazing ladyhere, very wise, spiritually in

(01:02:42):
tuned woman.

Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
So you're in good hands.
Well, I see the same in youthat you see in me.
Thank you, I appreciate you somuch and I would obviously so
love to have you on the podcastagain.
So thank you for being heretoday.

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
Definitely We'll do one about boundaries or
something.
We'll figure out a cool topic,for sure.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
Yes, I love it All.
Right, until next time.