May 27, 2025 • 27 mins
In this episode, Charlie and Jill examine how people attempt to comfort those grieving—and often miss the mark. Using Job 16:2, "What miserable comforters you are", they highlight how well-meaning individuals can do more harm than good by offering quick fixes, unsolicited advice or ignoring grief altogether. Instead, they emphasize the power of presence over words, encouraging listeners to “do the loving and let God do the fixing.”
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Jill LeBlanc (00:05):
Hello, everyone.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:07):
Hi.
Jill LeBlanc (00:07):
Thank you so much for joining us. We're Charlie
and Jill LeBlanc, and this isthe Finding Hope podcast,
Getting Through What You NeverAsked For.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:17):
That's right. There's a lot of things that we
have experienced in life that wenever asked for and some very,
very difficult things that somepeople have gone through.
Jill LeBlanc (00:28):
Oh my goodness.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:29):
As we have. And we have dearest friends who've
been through tragic losses intheir lives. It's just almost
devastating. And we talked a lotabout that on our last
broadcast. So this week, I justwanna continue with what we left
off on.
Jill LeBlanc (00:47):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:47):
You know, last week we did talk a lot about the
comfort of the Holy Spirit.
Jill LeBlanc (00:51):
Yeah. Thank God for the comfort of the Holy
Spirit.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:53):
How he helps us in deep times of need.
Jill LeBlanc (00:56):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:57):
And then, where'd we go from there?
Jill LeBlanc (01:01):
Well, you've got the notes. Look at your notes.
Charlie LeBlanc (01:05):
I was trying to engage you.
Jill LeBlanc (01:07):
Oh, really?
Charlie LeBlanc (01:08):
Okay. Okay. So anyway, last week we actually
talked about how that we becomealso a tool of Jesus to be a
comfort to other people. And howthat you can either be a good
comforter you can be a miserablecomforter.
Jill LeBlanc (01:29):
Are you a miserable comforter?
Charlie LeBlanc (01:32):
Yeah, it's really interesting. We read this
out of Job 16:2, Job had hisfriends that were just trying to
fix him and trying to tell himwhat he needed to do and why he
was sick, why God did this tohim, all these different things.
And then Job turned to him andhe said, I have heard all this
before. He said, "What miserablecomforters you are." When I read
(01:56):
that, I jumped out of my pagebecause really, we all try to be
good comforters.
Jill LeBlanc (02:01):
Yeah, we try.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:02):
When someone has a loss. But unless you've
had a loss, many times it's hardto be a good comforter.
Jill LeBlanc (02:11):
Well, I know we went to a funeral one time of
someone that we knew, and weknew his wife really well also.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:20):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (02:20):
And, you know, not having really been there before.
I mean, we've lost grandparents.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:26):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (02:27):
And, you know, at that time, we hadn't lost our
parents.
Charlie LeBlanc: Yeah. Aunts. Uncles. (02:30):
undefined
Jill LeBlanc (02:30):
Yeah, older people.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:32):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (02:32):
Not a lot of tragic younger deaths. But so
you just don't know what to say.And you you want to cheer the
person up a little bit, notmaybe fix them, but just cheer
them up.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:46):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (02:47):
And we walk into the funeral, and we saw his
widow right there because wewere a little late. They were
just walking in to the to get itstarted. And so we just spoke to
her and I just said somethingreally stupid trying to be light
hearted and trying to make herlaugh. Well, she gave me a
(03:08):
little courtesy laugh or smile.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:11):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (03:11):
You know, but she was hurting.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:13):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (03:13):
And and, you know, you you just never know because,
that couple in particular, theywere always just bantery.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:20):
Yeah. They were always fun.
Jill LeBlanc (03:21):
Yeah. Yeah. And they were all she's just yeah.
He just and then, you know,she's like, yeah. She's like,
blah blah blah blah blah.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:28):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (03:29):
Right. You know? So, you know-
Charlie LeBlanc (03:30):
You tried to fit in with
Jill LeBlanc (03:32):
Yes. But my gosh, you know, him passing away
changed everything for her.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:37):
It broke her heart.
Jill LeBlanc (03:38):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:39):
And he was such a fun guy.
Jill LeBlanc (03:40):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:41):
And and like you said, you know, we just we
try to fix things.
Jill LeBlanc (03:46):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:46):
And we try to be the fixers, as we mentioned
last time. And I read that, Ishared with you last time this
story about how I was on the wayto this funeral and the Holy
Spirit dropped in my heart totell the people to do the loving
and let God do the fixing. And Ithink this is such, I mean this
was the Holy Spirit because Idid not come up with this.
Jill LeBlanc (04:07):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:08):
But this has become a big heart of our
message right now, is to try toencourage believers and non
believers to try not to be afixer, let God do the fixing,
but be the lovers.
Jill LeBlanc (04:23):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:24):
And all that love means, you know, love is
patient, love is kind, love doesnot, you know, is not rude and
so on and so forth.
Jill LeBlanc (04:33):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:33):
Out of 1 Corinthians 12:13 actually.
So, you know, what it means tolove, what does that look like,
you know?
And people are always ready togive you advice. They're always
ready to tell you, Oh, you know,you just need to do this real
quick. Some would say, Oh, youknow, your loved ones passed,
now you need to go and get allthese clothes out of the closet,
(04:56):
you need to go do this, you needto do that. And you know what?
All of that advice, you know, Ijust wanna say, Shut up. You
know, I hate to be so rude.
Jill LeBlanc (05:04):
Just tell it like it is.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:05):
Yeah. I mean, you know, we heard the old
preacher say, Show up and shutup, you know. And that's in some
ways really good advice becauserather than say the wrong thing,
just be silent. We talked aboutthis last week, how Job's
comforters at first for sevendays they sat and it became a
tradition, a Jewish traditioncalled sitting siva.
Jill LeBlanc (05:26):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:27):
And they sat in silence next to Job. They just
they just sat next to him. AndI'm telling you what, that
comforted him.
Jill LeBlanc (05:33):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:34):
Just to have someone there to comfort them.
Jill LeBlanc (05:36):
Right. Right. Yeah. Just like on from from the
time I our son passed away. Imean, before he passed away, our
house was filled with peoplepraying and worshiping. But from
the day that he passed, ourhouse was just full of people
that came to be with us.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:53):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (05:53):
And just to just to be there for no other reason.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:57):
Yeah. One day we had a phone call and they
said, they said, we werethinking about stopping by, but
is it okay? And I went to you.And I said, Jill, is it okay if
so and so stops by? And what didyou say?
Jill LeBlanc (06:10):
I said, absolutely. I need Jesus with
skin on.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:14):
Right. And I had never heard that term
before.
Yeah. And yet it is somethingthat you had kinda grew up with.
Jill LeBlanc (06:20):
Well I've heard Andrew Womack speak about that a
lot. That's probably where Ifirst heard the story know.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:26):
I must have been reading texts on my phone
when he was teaching him,because I don't recall him
ever saying that.
Jill LeBlanc (06:30):
Oh, yeah. He's he shared that story a few times.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:34):
I don't mean that disrespectfully because we
love Andrew. We love histeaching. It's awesome. But
we've led worship for Andrew forforty plus years and heard so
many of his teachings andthey're all But sometimes when
I'm hearing the same one or whenwe tell the same story again, I
get a little bit, oh yeah, thatone.
Jill LeBlanc (06:52):
Well, it's such a powerful story though, this
Jesus with skin on.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:56):
Yes. It is.
Jill LeBlanc (06:57):
And we even put it in our book and I'd like to read
it to you. I I was able to findit on the Internet and so it's
it's a bonafide story. So itgoes, years ago, I, it says,
late one stormy night, a smallvoice was heard from the bedroom
across the hall. Mommy, I'mscared. Mom responds
(07:19):
sympathetically, Honey, don't beafraid. I'm right across the
hall. After a short time withthunder snapping in the
distance, the little voice saysagain, I'm still scared. And mom
replies, You don't need to beafraid. Close your eyes and
pray, and remember that Jesus isalways with you. The next time,
(07:43):
the pause is longer, but thevoice returns along with a
little child standing next toher bed.
Mommy, can I get in bed with youand daddy? How many times have
we done that? Patience, thelittle boy catches her eyes and
says, mommy, I know that Jesusis always with me, but right now
(08:07):
I need Jesus with skin on. And Ithink that is just such a
powerful picture of what we'retalking about here. You know,
people need us. Need Jesus inthe form of us. I heard someone
say once, they said, you know,God looks just like you because
(08:32):
he's on the inside of you andhe's wanting to touch people
through you.
Charlie LeBlanc (08:36):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (08:36):
And it's so true, isn't it?
Charlie LeBlanc (08:38):
It really is. And you know, it reminds me of
that scripture that says, Jesussaid, in as much as you've done,
well, it's a parable, and itsaid, in as much as you've done
it to the least of these, you'vedone it unto me. And you know,
when we help people, we'rehelping Jesus. When we're
ministering to people andhelping them, it's like we're
helping Jesus himself.
Jill LeBlanc (08:59):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:00):
But you know, the point is is that we are
Jesus with skin on and we haveto operate like Jesus did. And
Jesus, when someone was hurtingand someone was in pain, someone
had a broken heart, Jesus hadcompassion on them.
Jill LeBlanc (09:20):
He did.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:21):
And he never really tried to fix them. He
would just say a few words, youknow, like, go and sin no more
or or or, you know, you know,whatever it might be. But but he
he had compassion on brokenpeople. He did. On on people who
were hurting.
And we need to have that samekind of compassion. We need to
(09:42):
be very careful about what wesay. And that's so important.
Like you said at the funeral,you know, you regret what you
said.
Jill LeBlanc (09:51):
Gosh, yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:52):
I've said things that I regret too. But we
can learn the right things tosay. We can learn how to be
better comforters and notmiserable comforters. And we've
got a whole second half of ourbook. In fact, I think we have
more written about how to be agood comforter than we do about
(10:13):
how to comfort those who mourn.
Jill LeBlanc (10:16):
But it's, but you know what?
Charlie LeBlanc (10:17):
Because it's so needed.
Jill LeBlanc (10:19):
From coming from a place of being the broken one,
it really ministers to me andhelps me when I hear other
things being said. It's like itaffirms me.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:33):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Jill LeBlanc (10:35):
And so even though we spend over half of the book
talking to others about beinggood comforters, touches the
ones that are that need thecomfort.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:46):
Absolutely.
Jill LeBlanc (10:47):
Because someone is saying it, someone is telling
what I need in my life.
Yeah, cheering on and say, Yes,say it, yes, say it. Know, we've
experienced that too whensomeone has said something, we
say, Yes, that's exactly how wefelt, you know, when we've read
things. In fact, we've put somequotes in the book, you know, by
(11:07):
Earl Grohman and others, andwe're just like, wow, yeah,
that's exactly how we feel.How'd you know that? Know, well,
they've been through loss, theyunderstood it.
And can I I just I've got ourbook open right here, and I just
wanna read a a little scripturethat we referenced in this, this
chapter that I read from withthe being Jesus with skin on
(11:28):
story, and this right here isfrom the chapter called Learning
Compassion. And it's fromProverbs 31:8-9. It says, speak
up for those who cannot speakfor themselves.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:42):
Know that exact scripture.
Jill LeBlanc (11:45):
Ensure justice for those being crushed.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:48):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (11:48):
Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see
that they get justice.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:54):
Amen. Yeah. You know, unfortunately, there are
so many hurting people in thepews of our church. Have no idea
how people are hurting, whatthey're going through. They may
be facing the divorce. They mayhave just gone through a
divorce. They may be facing aloved one who is ill. That is so
(12:17):
common. People are fightingcancer or heart disease. And you
know, they're coming to churchto get some help. And all they
get is, hallelujah, praise theLord, hallelujah, praise the
Lord. But no one is sensitiveenough to notice that they're
not quite themselves.
Jill LeBlanc (12:35):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:36):
And rather than walk up to them and go, you
doing good? Praise the Lord.Doing good. Praise God. Come on.
Let's rejoice. You know? Insteadof doing that, what about
putting your arm around them andjust touching them and just
saying, are you okay? You know,how can I help you? Are you you
know, I wanna pray for you if ifI can if I can help in any way.
(12:57):
You know, these are the type ofthings that we as Christians
need to learn, and that is tohave compassion on hurting
people. Jesus loved widows. Itsaid pure religion undefiled is
to visit orphans and widows intheir distress. Pure religion is
(13:19):
taking care of people who arehurting. That's what real
religion is about.
And we miss it so much. Allwe're trying to do is make
people happy, make them rejoice,make them jump up and down.
Well, know, I know there's atime to rejoice and we rejoice
all the time. We praise God allthe time for all the goodness
that-
Jill LeBlanc (13:38):
We do now.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:40):
Yeah, now.
Jill LeBlanc (13:40):
That was a while we didn't.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:42):
No, but I'm saying right now we do. When we
see a hurting person, when wesee someone fighting for their
life, or like we have a dearfriend right now whose husband
has been in the hospital forover a month, and you have been
texting her, at first it wasalmost every day, loving on her
and telling her we're prayingfor her. You were texting all of
(14:04):
our friends to pray for her, forhim, and we just got a good
report just recently. Everythingelse was up and down, up and
down, up and down, but that'sshowing compassion.
Jill LeBlanc (14:15):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (14:16):
That's showing that you care. And we have many
friends who have lost lovedones. And gosh, forgive me, but
I try, we try to put them on ourcalendar. We try to remember
their anniversaries of theirpassing, or even their birthday
of their deceased one. And wetry our best to send them a
(14:37):
little text and just say, We'rethinking about you today. You
know, We love you.
Just the other day I texted, mybest friend passed almost two
years ago and his wife, we'redearest friends with her now as
well, always have been, but withhim being gone. I just texted
(14:57):
her yesterday, I just had her onmy heart. And so I'm thinking
about you, and I'm missingLarry. And I want you to notice
that I said his name. And that'ssomething that's important too,
is that we have a whole littlechapter on that of say their
name, because we're afraid tosay their name.
(15:19):
You know, Jill, we experiencedsome really difficult times
after Beau passed because ouroldest daughter Camille was
pregnant with her first baby.And Beau passed six months
before he was and so whenKingston was born six months
later, all of our friends atchurch, what did they start
(15:43):
doing?
Jill LeBlanc (15:43):
They were trying to almost like hypnotize me
like, Oh, you have a grandSON.Isn't that wonderful how the
Lord has blessed you with agrandSON?
Charlie LeBlanc (15:56):
Yeah. You lost your son, but now you have a
grandson. So don't grieveanymore.
Yeah. They would say that. Butthat was how it was insinuated.
And they they would never askabout, you know, our, like, how
is, how's it going with us, youknow, is just, and there's a
balance in that.
That's generally, general, yeah,we had dearest friends that wept
(16:18):
with through the whole Ofcourse.
Jill LeBlanc (16:20):
But it was just kind of an excuse for trying to
get our minds off of what wewere really walking through.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:27):
Yeah, and that's a big fallacy right there
that some people think, youdon't wanna mention their name,
don't wanna say anything abouttheir deceased husband. Don't
wanna remind them of their sonor their husband that died. You
don't wanna say anything. Oh,come on, let's go have coffee.
Let's talk about everythingelse, but not talk about that.
Well, you know what? Thatdoesn't minister life to someone
(16:48):
who's grieving.
Jill LeBlanc (16:48):
It really doesn't.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:49):
You need to get in the boat with them.
Jill LeBlanc (16:53):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:53):
With them. We need to learn to get in the
boat, in the pain, with thosewho are hurting.
Jill LeBlanc (17:00):
Yeah, especially if we have a close relationship
or, you know, decently close.
Charlie LeBlanc (17:05):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (17:06):
And talk about it.
Charlie LeBlanc (17:07):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (17:07):
Like, how is it going for you? Are, you know,
are you do your children come byand visit often? You know, do
you sense loneliness? You know,just inquiring if you're close
enough, if you have thatrelationship.
Charlie LeBlanc (17:24):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (17:24):
And if you don't have that relationship, don't
just treat it doesn't, like thisnever happened, because that's
all they think about. You know,we quote this really awesome man
in our book, his name's EarlGrohlman, and he was a rabbi
that shortly after he began inministry, he was just thrust
(17:46):
into grief ministry from the getgo because, at that time, that
one disaster happened in NewYork City, not the Twin Towers,
but way before that. And and allof a sudden, he's ministering to
all these people that lost lovedones in some kind of bomb.
I can't remember which incidentright now. But, anyway, he gosh.
(18:08):
What was I gonna say about him?We have so many quotes of his in
the book.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:12):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (18:12):
He's amazing. Anyway, it was gonna be really
good what I was gonna say. But,you know, just just just
getting, like Charlie said,getting in the boat with these
people and and just being realwith them and and not treating
this like the elephant in theroom that never gets addressed.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:36):
Yeah. Jesus never alone hurt.
Jill LeBlanc (18:38):
Oh, I was gonna say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It
surfaced.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:40):
Good. Good.
Jill LeBlanc (18:43):
You know, the thing.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:46):
We lost it again. Oh, no.
Jill LeBlanc (18:47):
Just leaked out again. Come back. Come back. We
were talking about about theelephant in the room and-
Charlie LeBlanc (18:58):
Earl Groman.
Jill LeBlanc (18:59):
Earl Groman. And oh, yes. Okay. So-
Charlie LeBlanc (19:02):
Yay. You got it.
Jill LeBlanc (19:03):
So he says he talks about people that lose
someone are self centered. Andthey are. I mean, yes, we are
self centered when we losesomeone because our world just
fell apart. Our loved one isgone. And we're having to deal
(19:25):
with the aftermath of all thatthat means, you know, all that
they've left behind that we haveto take up and and go on from
there.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:35):
That's right.
Jill LeBlanc (19:35):
But it does it's- Yes, we are self centered at
that time. We're talking aboutus and what are we going to do
and and all this. But, yeah.It's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:47):
That's normal. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (19:49):
It is. And it's nothing to be ashamed of because
your world has just fallenapart.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:53):
That's right.
Jill LeBlanc (19:54):
So I just wanted to say a word-
Charlie LeBlanc (19:56):
That's good.
Jill LeBlanc (19:57):
-to you that are maybe walking that road, number
one. It's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:03):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (20:04):
And you I mean, it's don't feel bad for having
to talk about yourself and yourlife to other people. And
sometimes they don't get it andthey need to hear that. But then
for those of us that aren't thatperson, we're the ones on the
outside. Let them talk. Let thembe what they need to be right
(20:29):
now.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:30):
That is a great point.
Jill LeBlanc (20:32):
Yep.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:33):
And I was just getting ready to say that. Let
them talk. And that's one of thebig points is that we make is to
be a good listener.
Jill LeBlanc (20:42):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:42):
Because someone who's had grief and have had a
loss, like you said, they justwant to talk about it. And the
best thing we can do is be agood listener, is just listen.
Jill LeBlanc (20:55):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:56):
I mean, you feel like you're unequipped to
be in a situation where someonehas lost a loved one. You feel
like you're not, you you know,you won't know what to say.
Well, you don't have to saymuch, really. You can just sit
there and go, Uh-huh, I'm sosorry. Oh gosh, I can't imagine.
I can't imagine. I'm so sorry.
(21:17):
Put your arm on them. But letthem talk, let them talk. And we
learned a really hard lesson inthis, in that because we had
lost a son, we thought we wouldhave answers for everyone in
that situation. We had a close,dear close friend of ours to
(21:40):
this day, who lost their sonnine years after Beau passed.
These friends were, we were veryclose with them, and they helped
us when Beau passed.
They were like a rock for us.Helped us, they loved us, they
helped us with the funeral, theyhelped us with so many ways.
Don't want to go into thedetails. They helped in some of
(22:03):
the difficult things that had tobe done when someone passes and
did it for me as we left thehouse.
Anyway, yeah. But, nine yearslater we get a harrowing call
that their son died.
Jill LeBlanc (22:21):
Who was best friends with Beau.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:22):
And him and Beau were best friends. It was
horrible. So anyway, we ofcourse contacted them and we
ended up seeing them and beingable to be with them. They
actually lived a ways away fromus now, so we ended up getting
to go and be with them. We werethere at the funeral of course.
We were there supporting themthrough that whole thing. But
(22:45):
there was one moment where Ireally felt like I needed to
minister. I want to minister tomy friend, the father of the son
that passed. And we got there,and all of a sudden he just
started pouring out his grief.He just started sharing his
upsetness and his anger and hisdisappointment and just
(23:06):
grieving, just lamenting, justcrying out talking all kinds of
ways.
And I kept thinking, I've lostmy son so I know what to say.
And I kept going, but the HolySpirit just kept saying, just
no, don't. No. Don't sayanything. No. Don't say
anything. And I ended up hardlysaying, in my estimation, in my
(23:29):
recollection, hardly sayinganything to comfort him.
Jill LeBlanc (23:33):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (23:34):
And I and and we ended up having to go. The
time was that we took off and weleft and we're driving away. And
I I am thinking what a loser Iam. I have blown it. I have, I
didn't say anything to him.
Here I am. I've lost my son. Theexpert now. He's lost a son.
Jill LeBlanc (23:53):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (23:53):
I should have at least known what to say. And
I'm driving and all of a sudden,and I'm beating myself up and
all of sudden I get a text fromhim. And he said, Charlie, thank
you and Jill so much for comingby and being with us. And he
said, Thank you especially forlistening.
(24:17):
And that broke my heart. I mean,I just thought, Wow, the power
of just listening just to be agood listener. People, we really
need to get ahold of that. Toreally be a comforter, not a
miserable comforter, a goodcomforter, just listen. When
people are hurting, when peopleare in pain, just be a good
(24:41):
listener.
Jill LeBlanc (24:41):
Yeah. It's so invaluable.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:43):
Yeah. Yeah. My goodness. So God bless you. You
know, we're gonna close here andpick back up on this.
I think we could talk about thisstuff for a long, long time.
We're gonna get back into this,and we're praying that this
helps you. Most everything thatwe're talking about is from our
book, When Loss Comes Close toHome. She's got a copy there,
I've got a copy here. Who canget it up first?
(25:07):
Really, this is a very seriousbook. And like we said earlier,
we have so many testimonies. Iwonder if I could get to one or
two of them here. Thank you, itsays, where is one here?
They said, said, this Sandrasaid, that's more in your book.
(25:29):
I read your book, that's morethan any church has ever said to
me, through two losses. They hadhad two losses and they found
some things that helped themmore than, know, some people
just don't get help. Some peopleare in the middle of a church
and they just don't get help.And so this book will help you.
(25:51):
It'll minister to you, and likeJill said, the things we
encourage other people to learnabout having people walk through
grief, that'll minister a lot toyou too, because you'll go, yes,
yes, yes.
So anyway, we love you, weappreciate you, it's available
digital download.
Jill LeBlanc (26:07):
Yep.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:07):
It's available in an e book.
Jill LeBlanc (26:10):
Which is a digital download.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:11):
Yeah, and we also have it in an
Jill LeBlanc (26:13):
An audio book.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:14):
What did I say, I'm sorry, forgive me. Yeah, but
we also have this this little,what do we call it? That little
card they can download for free.The nine nine steps.
Jill LeBlanc (26:25):
Yeah. We have if you sign up on our email list,
you get to receive a nine stepguide on how to support the
bereaved
Charlie LeBlanc (26:37):
How to get through it for yourself.
Jill LeBlanc (26:38):
For the bereaved and their supporters.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:39):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (26:41):
It's really it's beautiful design and and it's
very helpful. Just practicaltips. Tips.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:46):
Yeah, so you can get that and we have music,
we have a playlist called,Finding Hope playlist on
Spotify. You can find that aswell on the Charlie and Jill
LeBlanc.
Jill LeBlanc (26:56):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:57):
And lots of music on our website that we
believe will bring comfort andhelp to you in your journey. So,
so much more we could say, butwe'll save some for the next
broadcast.
But, again, we're just honoredto be a part of your life. Thank
you for letting us come intoyour home.
Jill LeBlanc (27:13):
Absolutely.
Charlie LeBlanc (27:14):
Into your life, into your pain. Thank you for
trusting us and, we hope to seeyou again on the next podcast.
Amen. God bless. Bye bye.
Hello, everyone.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:07):
Hi.
Jill LeBlanc (00:07):
Thank you so much for joining us. We're Charlie
and Jill LeBlanc, and this isthe Finding Hope podcast,
Getting Through What You NeverAsked For.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:17):
That's right. There's a lot of things that we
have experienced in life that wenever asked for and some very,
very difficult things that somepeople have gone through.
Jill LeBlanc (00:28):
Oh my goodness.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:29):
As we have. And we have dearest friends who've
been through tragic losses intheir lives. It's just almost
devastating. And we talked a lotabout that on our last
broadcast. So this week, I justwanna continue with what we left
off on.
Jill LeBlanc (00:47):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:47):
You know, last week we did talk a lot about the
comfort of the Holy Spirit.
Jill LeBlanc (00:51):
Yeah. Thank God for the comfort of the Holy
Spirit.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:53):
How he helps us in deep times of need.
Jill LeBlanc (00:56):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:57):
And then, where'd we go from there?
Jill LeBlanc (01:01):
Well, you've got the notes. Look at your notes.
Charlie LeBlanc (01:05):
I was trying to engage you.
Jill LeBlanc (01:07):
Oh, really?
Charlie LeBlanc (01:08):
Okay. Okay. So anyway, last week we actually
talked about how that we becomealso a tool of Jesus to be a
comfort to other people. And howthat you can either be a good
comforter you can be a miserablecomforter.
Jill LeBlanc (01:29):
Are you a miserable comforter?
Charlie LeBlanc (01:32):
Yeah, it's really interesting. We read this
out of Job 16:2, Job had hisfriends that were just trying to
fix him and trying to tell himwhat he needed to do and why he
was sick, why God did this tohim, all these different things.
And then Job turned to him andhe said, I have heard all this
before. He said, "What miserablecomforters you are." When I read
(01:56):
that, I jumped out of my pagebecause really, we all try to be
good comforters.
Jill LeBlanc (02:01):
Yeah, we try.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:02):
When someone has a loss. But unless you've
had a loss, many times it's hardto be a good comforter.
Jill LeBlanc (02:11):
Well, I know we went to a funeral one time of
someone that we knew, and weknew his wife really well also.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:20):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (02:20):
And, you know, not having really been there before.
I mean, we've lost grandparents.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:26):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (02:27):
And, you know, at that time, we hadn't lost our
parents.
Charlie LeBlanc: Yeah. Aunts. Uncles. (02:30):
undefined
Jill LeBlanc (02:30):
Yeah, older people.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:32):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (02:32):
Not a lot of tragic younger deaths. But so
you just don't know what to say.And you you want to cheer the
person up a little bit, notmaybe fix them, but just cheer
them up.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:46):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (02:47):
And we walk into the funeral, and we saw his
widow right there because wewere a little late. They were
just walking in to the to get itstarted. And so we just spoke to
her and I just said somethingreally stupid trying to be light
hearted and trying to make herlaugh. Well, she gave me a
(03:08):
little courtesy laugh or smile.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:11):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (03:11):
You know, but she was hurting.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:13):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (03:13):
And and, you know, you you just never know because,
that couple in particular, theywere always just bantery.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:20):
Yeah. They were always fun.
Jill LeBlanc (03:21):
Yeah. Yeah. And they were all she's just yeah.
He just and then, you know,she's like, yeah. She's like,
blah blah blah blah blah.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:28):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (03:29):
Right. You know? So, you know-
Charlie LeBlanc (03:30):
You tried to fit in with
Jill LeBlanc (03:32):
Yes. But my gosh, you know, him passing away
changed everything for her.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:37):
It broke her heart.
Jill LeBlanc (03:38):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:39):
And he was such a fun guy.
Jill LeBlanc (03:40):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:41):
And and like you said, you know, we just we
try to fix things.
Jill LeBlanc (03:46):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:46):
And we try to be the fixers, as we mentioned
last time. And I read that, Ishared with you last time this
story about how I was on the wayto this funeral and the Holy
Spirit dropped in my heart totell the people to do the loving
and let God do the fixing. And Ithink this is such, I mean this
was the Holy Spirit because Idid not come up with this.
Jill LeBlanc (04:07):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:08):
But this has become a big heart of our
message right now, is to try toencourage believers and non
believers to try not to be afixer, let God do the fixing,
but be the lovers.
Jill LeBlanc (04:23):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:24):
And all that love means, you know, love is
patient, love is kind, love doesnot, you know, is not rude and
so on and so forth.
Jill LeBlanc (04:33):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:33):
Out of 1 Corinthians 12:13 actually.
So, you know, what it means tolove, what does that look like,
you know?
And people are always ready togive you advice. They're always
ready to tell you, Oh, you know,you just need to do this real
quick. Some would say, Oh, youknow, your loved ones passed,
now you need to go and get allthese clothes out of the closet,
(04:56):
you need to go do this, you needto do that. And you know what?
All of that advice, you know, Ijust wanna say, Shut up. You
know, I hate to be so rude.
Jill LeBlanc (05:04):
Just tell it like it is.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:05):
Yeah. I mean, you know, we heard the old
preacher say, Show up and shutup, you know. And that's in some
ways really good advice becauserather than say the wrong thing,
just be silent. We talked aboutthis last week, how Job's
comforters at first for sevendays they sat and it became a
tradition, a Jewish traditioncalled sitting siva.
Jill LeBlanc (05:26):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:27):
And they sat in silence next to Job. They just
they just sat next to him. AndI'm telling you what, that
comforted him.
Jill LeBlanc (05:33):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:34):
Just to have someone there to comfort them.
Jill LeBlanc (05:36):
Right. Right. Yeah. Just like on from from the
time I our son passed away. Imean, before he passed away, our
house was filled with peoplepraying and worshiping. But from
the day that he passed, ourhouse was just full of people
that came to be with us.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:53):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (05:53):
And just to just to be there for no other reason.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:57):
Yeah. One day we had a phone call and they
said, they said, we werethinking about stopping by, but
is it okay? And I went to you.And I said, Jill, is it okay if
so and so stops by? And what didyou say?
Jill LeBlanc (06:10):
I said, absolutely. I need Jesus with
skin on.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:14):
Right. And I had never heard that term
before.
Yeah. And yet it is somethingthat you had kinda grew up with.
Jill LeBlanc (06:20):
Well I've heard Andrew Womack speak about that a
lot. That's probably where Ifirst heard the story know.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:26):
I must have been reading texts on my phone
when he was teaching him,because I don't recall him
ever saying that.
Jill LeBlanc (06:30):
Oh, yeah. He's he shared that story a few times.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:34):
I don't mean that disrespectfully because we
love Andrew. We love histeaching. It's awesome. But
we've led worship for Andrew forforty plus years and heard so
many of his teachings andthey're all But sometimes when
I'm hearing the same one or whenwe tell the same story again, I
get a little bit, oh yeah, thatone.
Jill LeBlanc (06:52):
Well, it's such a powerful story though, this
Jesus with skin on.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:56):
Yes. It is.
Jill LeBlanc (06:57):
And we even put it in our book and I'd like to read
it to you. I I was able to findit on the Internet and so it's
it's a bonafide story. So itgoes, years ago, I, it says,
late one stormy night, a smallvoice was heard from the bedroom
across the hall. Mommy, I'mscared. Mom responds
(07:19):
sympathetically, Honey, don't beafraid. I'm right across the
hall. After a short time withthunder snapping in the
distance, the little voice saysagain, I'm still scared. And mom
replies, You don't need to beafraid. Close your eyes and
pray, and remember that Jesus isalways with you. The next time,
(07:43):
the pause is longer, but thevoice returns along with a
little child standing next toher bed.
Mommy, can I get in bed with youand daddy? How many times have
we done that? Patience, thelittle boy catches her eyes and
says, mommy, I know that Jesusis always with me, but right now
(08:07):
I need Jesus with skin on. And Ithink that is just such a
powerful picture of what we'retalking about here. You know,
people need us. Need Jesus inthe form of us. I heard someone
say once, they said, you know,God looks just like you because
(08:32):
he's on the inside of you andhe's wanting to touch people
through you.
Charlie LeBlanc (08:36):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (08:36):
And it's so true, isn't it?
Charlie LeBlanc (08:38):
It really is. And you know, it reminds me of
that scripture that says, Jesussaid, in as much as you've done,
well, it's a parable, and itsaid, in as much as you've done
it to the least of these, you'vedone it unto me. And you know,
when we help people, we'rehelping Jesus. When we're
ministering to people andhelping them, it's like we're
helping Jesus himself.
Jill LeBlanc (08:59):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:00):
But you know, the point is is that we are
Jesus with skin on and we haveto operate like Jesus did. And
Jesus, when someone was hurtingand someone was in pain, someone
had a broken heart, Jesus hadcompassion on them.
Jill LeBlanc (09:20):
He did.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:21):
And he never really tried to fix them. He
would just say a few words, youknow, like, go and sin no more
or or or, you know, you know,whatever it might be. But but he
he had compassion on brokenpeople. He did. On on people who
were hurting.
And we need to have that samekind of compassion. We need to
(09:42):
be very careful about what wesay. And that's so important.
Like you said at the funeral,you know, you regret what you
said.
Jill LeBlanc (09:51):
Gosh, yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:52):
I've said things that I regret too. But we
can learn the right things tosay. We can learn how to be
better comforters and notmiserable comforters. And we've
got a whole second half of ourbook. In fact, I think we have
more written about how to be agood comforter than we do about
(10:13):
how to comfort those who mourn.
Jill LeBlanc (10:16):
But it's, but you know what?
Charlie LeBlanc (10:17):
Because it's so needed.
Jill LeBlanc (10:19):
From coming from a place of being the broken one,
it really ministers to me andhelps me when I hear other
things being said. It's like itaffirms me.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:33):
Yes, yes, absolutely.
Jill LeBlanc (10:35):
And so even though we spend over half of the book
talking to others about beinggood comforters, touches the
ones that are that need thecomfort.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:46):
Absolutely.
Jill LeBlanc (10:47):
Because someone is saying it, someone is telling
what I need in my life.
Yeah, cheering on and say, Yes,say it, yes, say it. Know, we've
experienced that too whensomeone has said something, we
say, Yes, that's exactly how wefelt, you know, when we've read
things. In fact, we've put somequotes in the book, you know, by
(11:07):
Earl Grohman and others, andwe're just like, wow, yeah,
that's exactly how we feel.How'd you know that? Know, well,
they've been through loss, theyunderstood it.
And can I I just I've got ourbook open right here, and I just
wanna read a a little scripturethat we referenced in this, this
chapter that I read from withthe being Jesus with skin on
(11:28):
story, and this right here isfrom the chapter called Learning
Compassion. And it's fromProverbs 31:8-9. It says, speak
up for those who cannot speakfor themselves.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:42):
Know that exact scripture.
Jill LeBlanc (11:45):
Ensure justice for those being crushed.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:48):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (11:48):
Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see
that they get justice.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:54):
Amen. Yeah. You know, unfortunately, there are
so many hurting people in thepews of our church. Have no idea
how people are hurting, whatthey're going through. They may
be facing the divorce. They mayhave just gone through a
divorce. They may be facing aloved one who is ill. That is so
(12:17):
common. People are fightingcancer or heart disease. And you
know, they're coming to churchto get some help. And all they
get is, hallelujah, praise theLord, hallelujah, praise the
Lord. But no one is sensitiveenough to notice that they're
not quite themselves.
Jill LeBlanc (12:35):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:36):
And rather than walk up to them and go, you
doing good? Praise the Lord.Doing good. Praise God. Come on.
Let's rejoice. You know? Insteadof doing that, what about
putting your arm around them andjust touching them and just
saying, are you okay? You know,how can I help you? Are you you
know, I wanna pray for you if ifI can if I can help in any way.
(12:57):
You know, these are the type ofthings that we as Christians
need to learn, and that is tohave compassion on hurting
people. Jesus loved widows. Itsaid pure religion undefiled is
to visit orphans and widows intheir distress. Pure religion is
(13:19):
taking care of people who arehurting. That's what real
religion is about.
And we miss it so much. Allwe're trying to do is make
people happy, make them rejoice,make them jump up and down.
Well, know, I know there's atime to rejoice and we rejoice
all the time. We praise God allthe time for all the goodness
that-
Jill LeBlanc (13:38):
We do now.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:40):
Yeah, now.
Jill LeBlanc (13:40):
That was a while we didn't.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:42):
No, but I'm saying right now we do. When we
see a hurting person, when wesee someone fighting for their
life, or like we have a dearfriend right now whose husband
has been in the hospital forover a month, and you have been
texting her, at first it wasalmost every day, loving on her
and telling her we're prayingfor her. You were texting all of
(14:04):
our friends to pray for her, forhim, and we just got a good
report just recently. Everythingelse was up and down, up and
down, up and down, but that'sshowing compassion.
Jill LeBlanc (14:15):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (14:16):
That's showing that you care. And we have many
friends who have lost lovedones. And gosh, forgive me, but
I try, we try to put them on ourcalendar. We try to remember
their anniversaries of theirpassing, or even their birthday
of their deceased one. And wetry our best to send them a
(14:37):
little text and just say, We'rethinking about you today. You
know, We love you.
Just the other day I texted, mybest friend passed almost two
years ago and his wife, we'redearest friends with her now as
well, always have been, but withhim being gone. I just texted
(14:57):
her yesterday, I just had her onmy heart. And so I'm thinking
about you, and I'm missingLarry. And I want you to notice
that I said his name. And that'ssomething that's important too,
is that we have a whole littlechapter on that of say their
name, because we're afraid tosay their name.
(15:19):
You know, Jill, we experiencedsome really difficult times
after Beau passed because ouroldest daughter Camille was
pregnant with her first baby.And Beau passed six months
before he was and so whenKingston was born six months
later, all of our friends atchurch, what did they start
(15:43):
doing?
Jill LeBlanc (15:43):
They were trying to almost like hypnotize me
like, Oh, you have a grandSON.Isn't that wonderful how the
Lord has blessed you with agrandSON?
Charlie LeBlanc (15:56):
Yeah. You lost your son, but now you have a
grandson. So don't grieveanymore.
Yeah. They would say that. Butthat was how it was insinuated.
And they they would never askabout, you know, our, like, how
is, how's it going with us, youknow, is just, and there's a
balance in that.
That's generally, general, yeah,we had dearest friends that wept
(16:18):
with through the whole Ofcourse.
Jill LeBlanc (16:20):
But it was just kind of an excuse for trying to
get our minds off of what wewere really walking through.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:27):
Yeah, and that's a big fallacy right there
that some people think, youdon't wanna mention their name,
don't wanna say anything abouttheir deceased husband. Don't
wanna remind them of their sonor their husband that died. You
don't wanna say anything. Oh,come on, let's go have coffee.
Let's talk about everythingelse, but not talk about that.
Well, you know what? Thatdoesn't minister life to someone
(16:48):
who's grieving.
Jill LeBlanc (16:48):
It really doesn't.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:49):
You need to get in the boat with them.
Jill LeBlanc (16:53):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:53):
With them. We need to learn to get in the
boat, in the pain, with thosewho are hurting.
Jill LeBlanc (17:00):
Yeah, especially if we have a close relationship
or, you know, decently close.
Charlie LeBlanc (17:05):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (17:06):
And talk about it.
Charlie LeBlanc (17:07):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (17:07):
Like, how is it going for you? Are, you know,
are you do your children come byand visit often? You know, do
you sense loneliness? You know,just inquiring if you're close
enough, if you have thatrelationship.
Charlie LeBlanc (17:24):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (17:24):
And if you don't have that relationship, don't
just treat it doesn't, like thisnever happened, because that's
all they think about. You know,we quote this really awesome man
in our book, his name's EarlGrohlman, and he was a rabbi
that shortly after he began inministry, he was just thrust
(17:46):
into grief ministry from the getgo because, at that time, that
one disaster happened in NewYork City, not the Twin Towers,
but way before that. And and allof a sudden, he's ministering to
all these people that lost lovedones in some kind of bomb.
I can't remember which incidentright now. But, anyway, he gosh.
(18:08):
What was I gonna say about him?We have so many quotes of his in
the book.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:12):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (18:12):
He's amazing. Anyway, it was gonna be really
good what I was gonna say. But,you know, just just just
getting, like Charlie said,getting in the boat with these
people and and just being realwith them and and not treating
this like the elephant in theroom that never gets addressed.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:36):
Yeah. Jesus never alone hurt.
Jill LeBlanc (18:38):
Oh, I was gonna say. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It
surfaced.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:40):
Good. Good.
Jill LeBlanc (18:43):
You know, the thing.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:46):
We lost it again. Oh, no.
Jill LeBlanc (18:47):
Just leaked out again. Come back. Come back. We
were talking about about theelephant in the room and-
Charlie LeBlanc (18:58):
Earl Groman.
Jill LeBlanc (18:59):
Earl Groman. And oh, yes. Okay. So-
Charlie LeBlanc (19:02):
Yay. You got it.
Jill LeBlanc (19:03):
So he says he talks about people that lose
someone are self centered. Andthey are. I mean, yes, we are
self centered when we losesomeone because our world just
fell apart. Our loved one isgone. And we're having to deal
(19:25):
with the aftermath of all thatthat means, you know, all that
they've left behind that we haveto take up and and go on from
there.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:35):
That's right.
Jill LeBlanc (19:35):
But it does it's- Yes, we are self centered at
that time. We're talking aboutus and what are we going to do
and and all this. But, yeah.It's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:47):
That's normal. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (19:49):
It is. And it's nothing to be ashamed of because
your world has just fallenapart.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:53):
That's right.
Jill LeBlanc (19:54):
So I just wanted to say a word-
Charlie LeBlanc (19:56):
That's good.
Jill LeBlanc (19:57):
-to you that are maybe walking that road, number
one. It's okay.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:03):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (20:04):
And you I mean, it's don't feel bad for having
to talk about yourself and yourlife to other people. And
sometimes they don't get it andthey need to hear that. But then
for those of us that aren't thatperson, we're the ones on the
outside. Let them talk. Let thembe what they need to be right
(20:29):
now.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:30):
That is a great point.
Jill LeBlanc (20:32):
Yep.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:33):
And I was just getting ready to say that. Let
them talk. And that's one of thebig points is that we make is to
be a good listener.
Jill LeBlanc (20:42):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:42):
Because someone who's had grief and have had a
loss, like you said, they justwant to talk about it. And the
best thing we can do is be agood listener, is just listen.
Jill LeBlanc (20:55):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:56):
I mean, you feel like you're unequipped to
be in a situation where someonehas lost a loved one. You feel
like you're not, you you know,you won't know what to say.
Well, you don't have to saymuch, really. You can just sit
there and go, Uh-huh, I'm sosorry. Oh gosh, I can't imagine.
I can't imagine. I'm so sorry.
(21:17):
Put your arm on them. But letthem talk, let them talk. And we
learned a really hard lesson inthis, in that because we had
lost a son, we thought we wouldhave answers for everyone in
that situation. We had a close,dear close friend of ours to
(21:40):
this day, who lost their sonnine years after Beau passed.
These friends were, we were veryclose with them, and they helped
us when Beau passed.
They were like a rock for us.Helped us, they loved us, they
helped us with the funeral, theyhelped us with so many ways.
Don't want to go into thedetails. They helped in some of
(22:03):
the difficult things that had tobe done when someone passes and
did it for me as we left thehouse.
Anyway, yeah. But, nine yearslater we get a harrowing call
that their son died.
Jill LeBlanc (22:21):
Who was best friends with Beau.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:22):
And him and Beau were best friends. It was
horrible. So anyway, we ofcourse contacted them and we
ended up seeing them and beingable to be with them. They
actually lived a ways away fromus now, so we ended up getting
to go and be with them. We werethere at the funeral of course.
We were there supporting themthrough that whole thing. But
(22:45):
there was one moment where Ireally felt like I needed to
minister. I want to minister tomy friend, the father of the son
that passed. And we got there,and all of a sudden he just
started pouring out his grief.He just started sharing his
upsetness and his anger and hisdisappointment and just
(23:06):
grieving, just lamenting, justcrying out talking all kinds of
ways.
And I kept thinking, I've lostmy son so I know what to say.
And I kept going, but the HolySpirit just kept saying, just
no, don't. No. Don't sayanything. No. Don't say
anything. And I ended up hardlysaying, in my estimation, in my
(23:29):
recollection, hardly sayinganything to comfort him.
Jill LeBlanc (23:33):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (23:34):
And I and and we ended up having to go. The
time was that we took off and weleft and we're driving away. And
I I am thinking what a loser Iam. I have blown it. I have, I
didn't say anything to him.
Here I am. I've lost my son. Theexpert now. He's lost a son.
Jill LeBlanc (23:53):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (23:53):
I should have at least known what to say. And
I'm driving and all of a sudden,and I'm beating myself up and
all of sudden I get a text fromhim. And he said, Charlie, thank
you and Jill so much for comingby and being with us. And he
said, Thank you especially forlistening.
(24:17):
And that broke my heart. I mean,I just thought, Wow, the power
of just listening just to be agood listener. People, we really
need to get ahold of that. Toreally be a comforter, not a
miserable comforter, a goodcomforter, just listen. When
people are hurting, when peopleare in pain, just be a good
(24:41):
listener.
Jill LeBlanc (24:41):
Yeah. It's so invaluable.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:43):
Yeah. Yeah. My goodness. So God bless you. You
know, we're gonna close here andpick back up on this.
I think we could talk about thisstuff for a long, long time.
We're gonna get back into this,and we're praying that this
helps you. Most everything thatwe're talking about is from our
book, When Loss Comes Close toHome. She's got a copy there,
I've got a copy here. Who canget it up first?
(25:07):
Really, this is a very seriousbook. And like we said earlier,
we have so many testimonies. Iwonder if I could get to one or
two of them here. Thank you, itsays, where is one here?
They said, said, this Sandrasaid, that's more in your book.
(25:29):
I read your book, that's morethan any church has ever said to
me, through two losses. They hadhad two losses and they found
some things that helped themmore than, know, some people
just don't get help. Some peopleare in the middle of a church
and they just don't get help.And so this book will help you.
(25:51):
It'll minister to you, and likeJill said, the things we
encourage other people to learnabout having people walk through
grief, that'll minister a lot toyou too, because you'll go, yes,
yes, yes.
So anyway, we love you, weappreciate you, it's available
digital download.
Jill LeBlanc (26:07):
Yep.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:07):
It's available in an e book.
Jill LeBlanc (26:10):
Which is a digital download.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:11):
Yeah, and we also have it in an
Jill LeBlanc (26:13):
An audio book.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:14):
What did I say, I'm sorry, forgive me. Yeah, but
we also have this this little,what do we call it? That little
card they can download for free.The nine nine steps.
Jill LeBlanc (26:25):
Yeah. We have if you sign up on our email list,
you get to receive a nine stepguide on how to support the
bereaved
Charlie LeBlanc (26:37):
How to get through it for yourself.
Jill LeBlanc (26:38):
For the bereaved and their supporters.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:39):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (26:41):
It's really it's beautiful design and and it's
very helpful. Just practicaltips. Tips.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:46):
Yeah, so you can get that and we have music,
we have a playlist called,Finding Hope playlist on
Spotify. You can find that aswell on the Charlie and Jill
LeBlanc.
Jill LeBlanc (26:56):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (26:57):
And lots of music on our website that we
believe will bring comfort andhelp to you in your journey. So,
so much more we could say, butwe'll save some for the next
broadcast.
But, again, we're just honoredto be a part of your life. Thank
you for letting us come intoyour home.
Jill LeBlanc (27:13):
Absolutely.
Charlie LeBlanc (27:14):
Into your life, into your pain. Thank you for
trusting us and, we hope to seeyou again on the next podcast.
Amen. God bless. Bye bye.
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