June 3, 2025 • 24 mins
“Understanding Grief - part 1” is a heartfelt conversation about navigating the pain of loss. With vulnerability and transparency, Charlie and Jill the open up about the raw reality of grief—how it’s more than just sadness, how it lingers, and how it changes you forever. Whether you're grieving or supporting someone who is, this episode offers comfort, clarity, insight, and encouragement.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:06):
Hi everybody and welcome to another episode
of Finding Hope. Getting ThroughWhat You Never Asked For. Wow.
Jill LeBlanc (00:15):
Yeah, that's pretty heavy.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:16):
Powerful subtitle that our producer
actually helped us come up with.And we, like many of you
possibly, have been through somedifficult times and it's
important that we find hope inthe midst of tragedy.
Jill LeBlanc (00:33):
Sure is.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:34):
We've got to.
Jill LeBlanc (00:35):
Yeah, I mean, this world is pretty hopeless. And,
you know, when Adam and Eve blewit in the garden for the rest of
us, for them and the rest of us,you know, it was a very hopeless
situation, wasn't it?
Charlie LeBlanc (00:52):
It was.
Jill LeBlanc (00:52):
And so thank God Jesus came to bring us hope, to
restore hope to us.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:59):
That's right. That's right. I'm grateful for
that. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (01:02):
He restores my soul. That's what it says in
Psalm 23.
Charlie LeBlanc (01:06):
Yep. And, had it not been, I like that
scripture. It says I would havedespaired unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness ofGod in the land of the living.
And, that's been, I know, ourheart and our prayer quite a bit
is is and our truth is just thatwe would have we would be gone
if we hadn't had the hope ofJesus Christ in our life and how
(01:31):
he has helped us through thisvery, very traumatic and
difficult time of losing ourson.
If you're first here, first timelistening, by the way, we did
lose our son in 2009, 23 yearsold, cancer, nine month battle,
just a traumatic loss and very,very difficult, put us into a
(01:55):
very difficult place. But, bythe grace of God, we've gotten
through it and we've learned somuch.
Jill LeBlanc (02:02):
Boy, have we?
Charlie LeBlanc (02:03):
About God and about, the different things that
you go through when you haveloss.
Jill LeBlanc (02:08):
Mhmm. You know, I speaking of people that don't
know the Lord, my sister had ason, I'm sorry, my sister's
friend had a son, someone thatshe grew up with, went to high
school with, and later, had achild and he lived ten years and
then died. And I think it waslike a heart thing or something.
(02:32):
And she doesn't, she at thetime, she didn't know the Lord.
And she was... talking aboutinconsolable. She was
inconsolable. She had no hope.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:45):
I'll bet.
Jill LeBlanc (02:46):
And I know that people talk about children, all
children go to heaven, which Ibelieve is true, but she
probably never thought about, Iwant to see him again. So I want
to make sure that I go toheaven. I mean, she probably
never crossed her mind justbecause she was so, so forlorn
for losing him. Just so, soshipwrecked in her heart and
(03:14):
it's hard, you know, it's hardto lose a child.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:18):
Oh gosh.
Jill LeBlanc (03:19):
A spouse.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:20):
A ten year old. Hello. We have a 10 year old
grandson.
Jill LeBlanc (03:24):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:25):
And and I can't I can't imagine the pain.
Jill LeBlanc (03:29):
I know.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:30):
You heard something yesterday about a 10
year old that passed.
Jill LeBlanc (03:33):
I could not believe my ears. It was a
notification headline about,these floods that have been
happening all over the nation.There was just a bad one
somewhere in Texas and a little10 year old girl. The first
notification was a 10 year oldgirl is swept away by the
floodwaters, a massive searchgoing out to find her. Then a
(03:57):
couple hours later, update 10year old girl's body is found
down river and you know I justthought you know we have a 10
year old grandson.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:07):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (04:08):
And I cannot imagine having to go through
that.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:13):
Yeah. The pain of loss is just beyond words
sometimes. People, many of youhave had that kind of loss and
you understand what we'retalking about. But for those of
you who don't, we're gonna talka little bit about some of the
things that you go through, whenyou do, experience just these
(04:33):
unbelievable painful events inlife, like losing a child.
So, um...
Jill LeBlanc (04:40):
Or a spouse that you're close to or a sister or
brother.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:46):
Yeah. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (04:47):
Yeah. You know, so most people don't really
understand unless they've beenthere what grief is really all
about.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:00):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (05:00):
A lot of people think it's just an emotion. It's
crying. You know, they're,they're, they're grieving
because they're crying.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:08):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (05:08):
But it's more than an emotion that comes and goes.
But once you experienced atragedy or trauma in your life,
grief is there. In one hand ithelps you to process what's
happening and it has differentfaces at different times.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:34):
What did you say in the book? It's like, you
said, use the word chaperone.
Jill LeBlanc (05:39):
It's a, yeah. It's like a chaperone to help walk
you through a time of loss ortrauma that has majorly affected
your life. And so we want tojust bring some awareness to
people that haven't walkedthrough that because I know
before we did this with our son,I really didn't have a clue of
(06:04):
what that really meant.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:06):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (06:06):
And I would just think, they're just taking a
while to get over it. You know,for someone that lost someone
dear to them and it just wastaking quite a while before they
were through the grief processand you know, didn't even know
what the grief process reallywas.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:21):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (06:23):
And yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:24):
And there's a lot of, there's a lot of, you
know, doctors and scientiststhat have done a lot of research
on grief and they've saidthere's several different stages
of grief and I think all thestages hit us at the same time.
I mean, it was like anger anddepression and denial, and I
think all of it was just hittingus. But but, yeah, it's it's
(06:48):
it's it's a traumatic situationto go through. And and, you
know, but God's grace, scripturesays, his grace is sufficient
for me. Paul, Jesus spoke toPaul and said that to him.
And, and and it's really true.Although you don't always feel
that grace in the moment becauseyou feel like you're gonna
drown.
Jill LeBlanc (07:09):
Oh gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc (07:09):
You feel like you'll never make it through
this painful tunnel.
Jill LeBlanc (07:14):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (07:14):
I remember one time, just shortly after we,
Beau had passed, we were walkingtogether. And I was thinking
about the fact that Jesus, whenhe faced the the cross in the
Garden Of Gethsemane, that theBible says he was even sweating
drops of blood. And manytranslations say he was crying
(07:34):
out to God and he was grieving.He said, because he saw the pain
that he was about to go throughand he said, you know, take this
cup from me Lord, butnevertheless, not my will, but
your will be done. And Iremember I thought about that.
I thought, you know, Jesus atthat one moment had a choice to
(07:54):
go to the cross or not. I knowhe loved us and he decided he
was going to do it. But at thesame time he was looking for a
way out because he saw how hardit was. But I remembered for me,
I remember saying, Lord, you hada choice, but I don't have a
choice. I have got to go throughthis.
And that was just an interestingmoment for me because I thought
(08:17):
you can't get out of this. Youcan't get out of the process of
going through, the pain. Youknow, old song it says, so high
you can't get over it, so lowyou can't get under it so wide
you can't get around it. Yougotta go through the door. Well,
you know, I went through it.
(08:37):
We had to go through the doorthat was presented before us.
Now, thank God, God and Hisgrace mercy and His comfort and
His peace is right there to walkwith us. It says He walks with
us through valleys. You wrote asong, we've referred to it
before on another podcast, butHe walks with me through valleys
(08:59):
when I'm overwhelmed, you know,and He does. And we've talked a
lot about how He carries usthrough the difficult times and
He does, but you still have togo through it. And some people,
everybody grieves differently.Everybody experiences
differently. Some people, youknow, they bounce back real
(09:20):
quickly.
Jill LeBlanc (09:21):
It depends on the situation.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:23):
Yeah, exactly. If you, you know, if you've been
married for, you know, seventy,eighty years or whatever it is,
sixty years, seventy years andyour spouse leaves. Yeah, your
heart's broken. But, you know,it was a ripe old age. And like
my mom, my dad died just threemonths after Beau died.
And, you know, Beau's death justtotally destroyed us. And then
(09:45):
three months later, my dad gets,you know, he gets sicker and
sicker then he passes.Gratefully, I was able to be
there when he did, but you know,all my brothers and sisters were
just, they were very heartbrokenand I was too, but compared to
the pain of losing my son at 23years old or my dad at 87 years
(10:07):
old, you know, there was reallyno comparison in that light, you
know, because I love my dad, buthe was 87 and he was ready to
go. He loved Jesus. He was readyto go.
Jill LeBlanc (10:20):
He did.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:21):
But my son, he was not ready to go. He did not
believe he would go. We did notbelieve he would go. And that
was the last thing that wewanted, needed-
Jill LeBlanc (10:34):
Or thought would happen.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:35):
Or thought would ever happen. Yeah. Getting
through what you-
Jill LeBlanc (10:40):
What you never asked for.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:41):
Asked for. Yeah. That little subtitle. But
anyway, yeah, grief is aninteresting, interesting thing
to walk through.
Jill LeBlanc (10:50):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:50):
No thought about it. You know, I've got,
there's a scripture that hasreally blessed me and maybe
it'll bless you too. I'm sure itwill. Proverbs 14:10 in the New
Living Translation, it says,don't expect anyone to fully
understand both the bitternessand the joys of all that you
(11:12):
experience. And I just want youto think about that for a
moment.
It says you've given us a littlewisdom here. He said, don't
expect anyone to fullyunderstand what you've been
through.
Jill LeBlanc (11:26):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:26):
Because you're the only one that really
understands it.
Jill LeBlanc (11:31):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:31):
And quite often, we're we're trying to get
people to understand even ourjoys. Oh my gosh, this was so
awesome. You should have beenthere. And they're like, oh,
yeah, cool. Awesome. That'scool. And, you know, people
don't fully understand even allyour joy because it's inside of
you. You've experienced it.
Jill LeBlanc (11:47):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:47):
And it's the same thing with grief and with
with with pain. No one canreally understand you fully
except for Jesus.
Jill LeBlanc (11:56):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:57):
Except for God, the Father, our comforter. But
but, you know, don't expect evenyour best friends to fully
understand. You know, what we doexpect of our best friends is
just to to love us and weep withus. You know?
Jill LeBlanc (12:10):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:10):
But but they'll never fully understand.
Jill LeBlanc (12:13):
Yeah. Yeah. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope
deferred makes the heart sick."And boy, we experienced that,
didn't we?
Charlie LeBlanc (12:23):
Yep.
Jill LeBlanc (12:24):
Gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:24):
Yep.
Jill LeBlanc (12:25):
And then in the, in the Good News translation, it
says when hope is crushed, theheart is crushed. And it takes a
long time to come back fromsomething like that. You know,
you think of someone that maybehas their foot crushed in an
accident and something crushedis a really severe injury.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:51):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (12:52):
That's what happens with our hearts when we
walk through some a tragic loss.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:58):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (12:58):
And it just takes time to bounce back and, and yet
you're, you're changed forever,but, you know, we can't, people
don't, they don't get why it'staking so long
Charlie LeBlanc (13:13):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (13:13):
Because they don't understand grief.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:15):
Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a heavy word,
crushed.
Jill LeBlanc (13:20):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:20):
Because that's that's another really good word
for how you feel.
Jill LeBlanc (13:25):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:26):
It's like having a head on accident.
You're crushed. You you yourheart is broken in the bible
terms. He heals broken hearts.
Jill LeBlanc (13:38):
Yeah. That's heavy right there.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:39):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (13:40):
God knew we would need this.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:42):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (13:42):
I mean, he knew how broken humanity was.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:45):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (13:46):
And and so he sent Jesus to heal the brokenhearted.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:51):
Right. Right. That's amazing that, you know,
that shows alone how many howcommon broken heart broken
hearts are, you know, ingeneral.
Jill LeBlanc (14:03):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (14:04):
It shows worldwide that Jesus knew all
the broken hearts that would bethere.
And so he wanted to he came, hesaid, I've gotta I gotta fix
this too. You know, I gotta helppeople because there's a lot of
broken hurting people.
Jill LeBlanc (14:19):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (14:19):
Praise the Lord. Thank God for Jesus. You
know, I've ran into well, in thebook, we put several definitions
of grief, and, one of them was awas a deep mental anguish as
that arising from bereavement oran instance of this of source or
a cause of deep mental anguishand annoyance or frustration or
(14:44):
an instance of trouble ordifficulty or an instance of
just pain. Another one sayssorrow over deplore or lament,
to feel grief, mental distress,mourn. And you know, these kinds
of things, you know, you think,well, you know, as a Christian,
you don't have to go throughthis.
(15:04):
And that's very interestingbecause, know, Jill and I had
been in ministry for, gosh, howmany years at that point?
Jill LeBlanc (15:14):
Thirty.
Charlie LeBlanc (15:15):
Thirty plus years.
Jill LeBlanc (15:17):
About thirty years probably.
Charlie LeBlanc (15:18):
Full time ministry. We had led worship for
Joyce Meyer. We had led worshipfor Andrew Wommack. We were
bible students, bible graduates.
Jill LeBlanc (15:29):
We would go in churches and they give us the
whole service and you'd sharethe Word...
Charlie LeBlanc (15:34):
Just lay hands on the sick, pray for people.
Jill LeBlanc (15:38):
We were ministers.
Charlie LeBlanc: Yeah, and we still are, praise (15:39):
undefined
God. But my point is, is that,you know, you'd have thought
that any loss that someone whois a mature Christian would not
affect them. I mean, at leastthat's what I thought before it
happened to me.
Jill LeBlanc (15:58):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (15:59):
But, boy, did we learn differently.
Jill LeBlanc (16:01):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:01):
That when it happened, it was crushing and
painful and broken and grief andand sorrow. It all hit us. The
pain of losing a child or aloved one is, again, beyond
words. But but, you know, as Istudied the word of God more and
more, I realized that grief andsorrow and tears and pain were a
(16:28):
very common, common thingthroughout the bible. And I like
what, rabbi Earl Grollman said.He said grief is unbearable
heartache, sorrow, loneliness.Because you loved, grief walks
by your side. Grief is one ofthe most basic of human
emotions. Grief is very normal.And, I like that because you
(16:54):
think you're going crazy attimes.
Jill LeBlanc: Oh that's for sure. (16:55):
undefined
Charlie LeBlanc (16:57):
But to know that it's okay to cry, it's okay
to grieve, that the pain thatyou're feeling inside is normal.
I think I said on the lastpodcast that I went to my doctor
and he, I said, me, I'm cryingtoo much. And he said, no, it's
normal. Just hang in there.
Jill LeBlanc (17:15):
Yeah. A friend of ours, wrote us after she read
our book and she had lost agrandchild. He was only I don't
know three and he was a littlebit as they would say in England
poorly or sickly is what wewould say He just had a lot of
little things wrong with him andI think he died at three.
(17:39):
Anyway, it was horrific for thisfamily and yet she felt she was
in such an environment that shedidn't feel like she could be
honest about her feelings andemotions. Then she read our book
and she said, thank you forhelping me realize that I'm
normal because it's normal tofeel, you know, some people in
(18:02):
the beginning they're like whatis wrong with me? I'm always
crying. I can't stop. I I'mdealing with depression and all
these things and they don'trealize that that's for some
people not not for everyone butfor some people that's just part
of the journey.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:19):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (18:20):
And it changes along the way but there
certainly are times when youcan't stop crying or you know,
you you you just you you can'tfeel anything because you're
just so traumatized. And it'sgrief. All that is grief. That's
(18:40):
what grief is.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:42):
Right. I don't know how much time we have left,
but I have a a scripture that Iwould like to share out of
1 Thessalonians, which is veryimportant, and it's and it's
very controversial in that1 Thessalonians 4:13, someone
would say, Charlie, doesn't thebible say we don't have to
grieve because we're believers?
Jill LeBlanc (19:03):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:03):
Well, let's talk about that a little bit.
Jill LeBlanc (19:05):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:06):
You know, here's what the scripture says
in, I think it's the New LivingTranslation. Paul said, and now,
dear brothers and sisters, wewant you to know, what will
happen to the believers who havedied so that you will not grieve
like people who have no hope.Now I can see easily how and
we've heard different preacherssay, you know, bless God, we're
(19:28):
Christians, we don't grieve, youknow, because we have the hope
of Jesus. I can see where theycould get that from the
scripture. But afterexperiencing grief, way we
experienced it as men and womenof God, you know, I see this
scripture as it's saying that wedon't grieve like those who have
(19:51):
no hope.
We don't grieve with no hope. Wegrieve with hope. And that's the
difference is that we know whereBeau is. You know, I've thought
about this earlier when you weretalking about that one woman
that lost her 10 year olddaughter and and didn't know if
she was saved or whatever. Buteven David said, I can, he
(20:12):
cannot come back to me, but Iwill go to him, you know?
And so that's a real healthything to understand and
remember. And we know that aboutBeau, you know? But still, there
are seasons and times foreverything. And at the beginning
to say, oh, we're both inheaven. Praise God. I'm gonna
see him again. That did not helpus at all. But we grieve, but
(20:34):
not like those who have no hope.
Jill LeBlanc (20:36):
Yeah. And you saying this reminded me, if you
can hold your thought.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:40):
Sure.
Jill LeBlanc (20:41):
The day that Beau died, one of his really close
friends came over to the house,and he said, said, today is the
day that we will be the furthestaway from Beau because every day
that passes is one day closerthat we'll be reunited. And
(21:05):
Charlie and I were having a chatbefore we started this live
stream and just noticing our agein the mirror a little more than
we did last time, you know.
Charlie LeBlanc (21:16):
Getting ready for the camera.
Jill LeBlanc (21:18):
And he says, he says, well, we can't stop the
clock. I, and I said, you knowwhat? I don't want to stop the
clock. And I don't want to leavethis life any earlier than I
should, but I don't want to stopthe clock because it's-
Charlie LeBlanc (21:33):
I say, well, do you, wanna die or something?
What's wrong?
Jill LeBlanc (21:37):
It's like heaven is going to be so amazing and
we're going to get to live inthe reason that we were created
and that is to be in God'spresence. He created us to be in
his presence.
Charlie LeBlanc (21:49):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (21:50):
The only way to get there is to pass through
this life. But and so I'm notI'm not wishing it to come
faster in one hand, althoughpart of me says, come Lord Jesus
because this world is my God.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:03):
That's true.
Jill LeBlanc (22:04):
It's so lost. I mean, it's just so bad. But so
I'm not wishing for my life togo faster, but I don't wanna
stop the process because heaven
Charlie LeBlanc: You get to see Jesus, get to see Beau, and family members. (22:15):
undefined
Jill LeBlanc (22:18):
Oh my gosh, heaven's gonna be so amazing.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:19):
Amen. Well, the flip side of that, I've got what
Paul said and that is, it'd befar better to go. And he said, I
wanna go, but he said, I thinkit's more expedient that I stay
so that I can help more people.And that's our heart in this
podcast.
Jill LeBlanc (22:38):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:38):
You know, it's just to help you in any way that
we can. We have lots ofmaterials. We have a book called
When Loss Comes Close to Homethat really I really wanna
encourage you to get this book.This thing is powerful. It's got
all things, everything in herethat we're talking about is in
this book. And, it was endorsedby Joyce Meyer and Andrew
(23:02):
Wommack. So I guarantee you itwill help you and bless you. And
we have lots of other tools tohelp them. I think a download as
well.
Jill LeBlanc (23:13):
Right, if you, on the close of the broadcast or
you can look below, there's alink that says
charlieandjill.com/welcome. Andif you click that, you can go to
a place where you can receive areally cool nine step download
for the for grievers and theirsupporters or for the bereaved
(23:35):
and their supporters. And it'sjust little tips. It's taken
from our book, but it's just allencapsulated in one spot. So you
can have that as a free gift.
So that'll be a blessing to youwhether you're the one walking
the grief journey or you're theone walking beside the grief
journey. And those of us walkingbeside need a whole lot more
(23:55):
help to be a better supporterbecause it just doesn't come
naturally for everyone.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:02):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (24:03):
Well that's there for you.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:04):
Amen. Well thank you so much for listening
and if you would considerbecoming a partner with us and
helping us to get this messageout, that would surely help us
in a lot of ways.
Jill LeBlanc (24:16):
And if you could share this with someone you know
that you feel like would benefitfrom these messages, that would
be great too. And then don'tforget to give it a thumbs up
down below as well as subscribebecause we'd love to stay in
touch with you on a more regularbasis.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:33):
Absolutely. Well, praise the Lord. Thank you
so much. God bless you. Andwe'll see you at the next
episode.
Hi everybody and welcome to another episode
of Finding Hope. Getting ThroughWhat You Never Asked For. Wow.
Jill LeBlanc (00:15):
Yeah, that's pretty heavy.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:16):
Powerful subtitle that our producer
actually helped us come up with.And we, like many of you
possibly, have been through somedifficult times and it's
important that we find hope inthe midst of tragedy.
Jill LeBlanc (00:33):
Sure is.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:34):
We've got to.
Jill LeBlanc (00:35):
Yeah, I mean, this world is pretty hopeless. And,
you know, when Adam and Eve blewit in the garden for the rest of
us, for them and the rest of us,you know, it was a very hopeless
situation, wasn't it?
Charlie LeBlanc (00:52):
It was.
Jill LeBlanc (00:52):
And so thank God Jesus came to bring us hope, to
restore hope to us.
Charlie LeBlanc (00:59):
That's right. That's right. I'm grateful for
that. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (01:02):
He restores my soul. That's what it says in
Psalm 23.
Charlie LeBlanc (01:06):
Yep. And, had it not been, I like that
scripture. It says I would havedespaired unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness ofGod in the land of the living.
And, that's been, I know, ourheart and our prayer quite a bit
is is and our truth is just thatwe would have we would be gone
if we hadn't had the hope ofJesus Christ in our life and how
(01:31):
he has helped us through thisvery, very traumatic and
difficult time of losing ourson.
If you're first here, first timelistening, by the way, we did
lose our son in 2009, 23 yearsold, cancer, nine month battle,
just a traumatic loss and very,very difficult, put us into a
(01:55):
very difficult place. But, bythe grace of God, we've gotten
through it and we've learned somuch.
Jill LeBlanc (02:02):
Boy, have we?
Charlie LeBlanc (02:03):
About God and about, the different things that
you go through when you haveloss.
Jill LeBlanc (02:08):
Mhmm. You know, I speaking of people that don't
know the Lord, my sister had ason, I'm sorry, my sister's
friend had a son, someone thatshe grew up with, went to high
school with, and later, had achild and he lived ten years and
then died. And I think it waslike a heart thing or something.
(02:32):
And she doesn't, she at thetime, she didn't know the Lord.
And she was... talking aboutinconsolable. She was
inconsolable. She had no hope.
Charlie LeBlanc (02:45):
I'll bet.
Jill LeBlanc (02:46):
And I know that people talk about children, all
children go to heaven, which Ibelieve is true, but she
probably never thought about, Iwant to see him again. So I want
to make sure that I go toheaven. I mean, she probably
never crossed her mind justbecause she was so, so forlorn
for losing him. Just so, soshipwrecked in her heart and
(03:14):
it's hard, you know, it's hardto lose a child.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:18):
Oh gosh.
Jill LeBlanc (03:19):
A spouse.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:20):
A ten year old. Hello. We have a 10 year old
grandson.
Jill LeBlanc (03:24):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:25):
And and I can't I can't imagine the pain.
Jill LeBlanc (03:29):
I know.
Charlie LeBlanc (03:30):
You heard something yesterday about a 10
year old that passed.
Jill LeBlanc (03:33):
I could not believe my ears. It was a
notification headline about,these floods that have been
happening all over the nation.There was just a bad one
somewhere in Texas and a little10 year old girl. The first
notification was a 10 year oldgirl is swept away by the
floodwaters, a massive searchgoing out to find her. Then a
(03:57):
couple hours later, update 10year old girl's body is found
down river and you know I justthought you know we have a 10
year old grandson.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:07):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (04:08):
And I cannot imagine having to go through
that.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:13):
Yeah. The pain of loss is just beyond words
sometimes. People, many of youhave had that kind of loss and
you understand what we'retalking about. But for those of
you who don't, we're gonna talka little bit about some of the
things that you go through, whenyou do, experience just these
(04:33):
unbelievable painful events inlife, like losing a child.
So, um...
Jill LeBlanc (04:40):
Or a spouse that you're close to or a sister or
brother.
Charlie LeBlanc (04:46):
Yeah. Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (04:47):
Yeah. You know, so most people don't really
understand unless they've beenthere what grief is really all
about.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:00):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (05:00):
A lot of people think it's just an emotion. It's
crying. You know, they're,they're, they're grieving
because they're crying.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:08):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (05:08):
But it's more than an emotion that comes and goes.
But once you experienced atragedy or trauma in your life,
grief is there. In one hand ithelps you to process what's
happening and it has differentfaces at different times.
Charlie LeBlanc (05:34):
What did you say in the book? It's like, you
said, use the word chaperone.
Jill LeBlanc (05:39):
It's a, yeah. It's like a chaperone to help walk
you through a time of loss ortrauma that has majorly affected
your life. And so we want tojust bring some awareness to
people that haven't walkedthrough that because I know
before we did this with our son,I really didn't have a clue of
(06:04):
what that really meant.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:06):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (06:06):
And I would just think, they're just taking a
while to get over it. You know,for someone that lost someone
dear to them and it just wastaking quite a while before they
were through the grief processand you know, didn't even know
what the grief process reallywas.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:21):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (06:23):
And yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (06:24):
And there's a lot of, there's a lot of, you
know, doctors and scientiststhat have done a lot of research
on grief and they've saidthere's several different stages
of grief and I think all thestages hit us at the same time.
I mean, it was like anger anddepression and denial, and I
think all of it was just hittingus. But but, yeah, it's it's
(06:48):
it's it's a traumatic situationto go through. And and, you
know, but God's grace, scripturesays, his grace is sufficient
for me. Paul, Jesus spoke toPaul and said that to him.
And, and and it's really true.Although you don't always feel
that grace in the moment becauseyou feel like you're gonna
drown.
Jill LeBlanc (07:09):
Oh gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc (07:09):
You feel like you'll never make it through
this painful tunnel.
Jill LeBlanc (07:14):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (07:14):
I remember one time, just shortly after we,
Beau had passed, we were walkingtogether. And I was thinking
about the fact that Jesus, whenhe faced the the cross in the
Garden Of Gethsemane, that theBible says he was even sweating
drops of blood. And manytranslations say he was crying
(07:34):
out to God and he was grieving.He said, because he saw the pain
that he was about to go throughand he said, you know, take this
cup from me Lord, butnevertheless, not my will, but
your will be done. And Iremember I thought about that.
I thought, you know, Jesus atthat one moment had a choice to
(07:54):
go to the cross or not. I knowhe loved us and he decided he
was going to do it. But at thesame time he was looking for a
way out because he saw how hardit was. But I remembered for me,
I remember saying, Lord, you hada choice, but I don't have a
choice. I have got to go throughthis.
And that was just an interestingmoment for me because I thought
(08:17):
you can't get out of this. Youcan't get out of the process of
going through, the pain. Youknow, old song it says, so high
you can't get over it, so lowyou can't get under it so wide
you can't get around it. Yougotta go through the door. Well,
you know, I went through it.
(08:37):
We had to go through the doorthat was presented before us.
Now, thank God, God and Hisgrace mercy and His comfort and
His peace is right there to walkwith us. It says He walks with
us through valleys. You wrote asong, we've referred to it
before on another podcast, butHe walks with me through valleys
(08:59):
when I'm overwhelmed, you know,and He does. And we've talked a
lot about how He carries usthrough the difficult times and
He does, but you still have togo through it. And some people,
everybody grieves differently.Everybody experiences
differently. Some people, youknow, they bounce back real
(09:20):
quickly.
Jill LeBlanc (09:21):
It depends on the situation.
Charlie LeBlanc (09:23):
Yeah, exactly. If you, you know, if you've been
married for, you know, seventy,eighty years or whatever it is,
sixty years, seventy years andyour spouse leaves. Yeah, your
heart's broken. But, you know,it was a ripe old age. And like
my mom, my dad died just threemonths after Beau died.
And, you know, Beau's death justtotally destroyed us. And then
(09:45):
three months later, my dad gets,you know, he gets sicker and
sicker then he passes.Gratefully, I was able to be
there when he did, but you know,all my brothers and sisters were
just, they were very heartbrokenand I was too, but compared to
the pain of losing my son at 23years old or my dad at 87 years
(10:07):
old, you know, there was reallyno comparison in that light, you
know, because I love my dad, buthe was 87 and he was ready to
go. He loved Jesus. He was readyto go.
Jill LeBlanc (10:20):
He did.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:21):
But my son, he was not ready to go. He did not
believe he would go. We did notbelieve he would go. And that
was the last thing that wewanted, needed-
Jill LeBlanc (10:34):
Or thought would happen.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:35):
Or thought would ever happen. Yeah. Getting
through what you-
Jill LeBlanc (10:40):
What you never asked for.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:41):
Asked for. Yeah. That little subtitle. But
anyway, yeah, grief is aninteresting, interesting thing
to walk through.
Jill LeBlanc (10:50):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (10:50):
No thought about it. You know, I've got,
there's a scripture that hasreally blessed me and maybe
it'll bless you too. I'm sure itwill. Proverbs 14:10 in the New
Living Translation, it says,don't expect anyone to fully
understand both the bitternessand the joys of all that you
(11:12):
experience. And I just want youto think about that for a
moment.
It says you've given us a littlewisdom here. He said, don't
expect anyone to fullyunderstand what you've been
through.
Jill LeBlanc (11:26):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:26):
Because you're the only one that really
understands it.
Jill LeBlanc (11:31):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:31):
And quite often, we're we're trying to get
people to understand even ourjoys. Oh my gosh, this was so
awesome. You should have beenthere. And they're like, oh,
yeah, cool. Awesome. That'scool. And, you know, people
don't fully understand even allyour joy because it's inside of
you. You've experienced it.
Jill LeBlanc (11:47):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:47):
And it's the same thing with grief and with
with with pain. No one canreally understand you fully
except for Jesus.
Jill LeBlanc (11:56):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (11:57):
Except for God, the Father, our comforter. But
but, you know, don't expect evenyour best friends to fully
understand. You know, what we doexpect of our best friends is
just to to love us and weep withus. You know?
Jill LeBlanc (12:10):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:10):
But but they'll never fully understand.
Jill LeBlanc (12:13):
Yeah. Yeah. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope
deferred makes the heart sick."And boy, we experienced that,
didn't we?
Charlie LeBlanc (12:23):
Yep.
Jill LeBlanc (12:24):
Gosh.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:24):
Yep.
Jill LeBlanc (12:25):
And then in the, in the Good News translation, it
says when hope is crushed, theheart is crushed. And it takes a
long time to come back fromsomething like that. You know,
you think of someone that maybehas their foot crushed in an
accident and something crushedis a really severe injury.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:51):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (12:52):
That's what happens with our hearts when we
walk through some a tragic loss.
Charlie LeBlanc (12:58):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (12:58):
And it just takes time to bounce back and, and yet
you're, you're changed forever,but, you know, we can't, people
don't, they don't get why it'staking so long
Charlie LeBlanc (13:13):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (13:13):
Because they don't understand grief.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:15):
Yeah. Yeah. That's a that's a heavy word,
crushed.
Jill LeBlanc (13:20):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:20):
Because that's that's another really good word
for how you feel.
Jill LeBlanc (13:25):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:26):
It's like having a head on accident.
You're crushed. You you yourheart is broken in the bible
terms. He heals broken hearts.
Jill LeBlanc (13:38):
Yeah. That's heavy right there.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:39):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (13:40):
God knew we would need this.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:42):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (13:42):
I mean, he knew how broken humanity was.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:45):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (13:46):
And and so he sent Jesus to heal the brokenhearted.
Charlie LeBlanc (13:51):
Right. Right. That's amazing that, you know,
that shows alone how many howcommon broken heart broken
hearts are, you know, ingeneral.
Jill LeBlanc (14:03):
Mhmm.
Charlie LeBlanc (14:04):
It shows worldwide that Jesus knew all
the broken hearts that would bethere.
And so he wanted to he came, hesaid, I've gotta I gotta fix
this too. You know, I gotta helppeople because there's a lot of
broken hurting people.
Jill LeBlanc (14:19):
Yeah.
Charlie LeBlanc (14:19):
Praise the Lord. Thank God for Jesus. You
know, I've ran into well, in thebook, we put several definitions
of grief, and, one of them was awas a deep mental anguish as
that arising from bereavement oran instance of this of source or
a cause of deep mental anguishand annoyance or frustration or
(14:44):
an instance of trouble ordifficulty or an instance of
just pain. Another one sayssorrow over deplore or lament,
to feel grief, mental distress,mourn. And you know, these kinds
of things, you know, you think,well, you know, as a Christian,
you don't have to go throughthis.
(15:04):
And that's very interestingbecause, know, Jill and I had
been in ministry for, gosh, howmany years at that point?
Jill LeBlanc (15:14):
Thirty.
Charlie LeBlanc (15:15):
Thirty plus years.
Jill LeBlanc (15:17):
About thirty years probably.
Charlie LeBlanc (15:18):
Full time ministry. We had led worship for
Joyce Meyer. We had led worshipfor Andrew Wommack. We were
bible students, bible graduates.
Jill LeBlanc (15:29):
We would go in churches and they give us the
whole service and you'd sharethe Word...
Charlie LeBlanc (15:34):
Just lay hands on the sick, pray for people.
Jill LeBlanc (15:38):
We were ministers.
Charlie LeBlanc: Yeah, and we still are, praise (15:39):
undefined
God. But my point is, is that,you know, you'd have thought
that any loss that someone whois a mature Christian would not
affect them. I mean, at leastthat's what I thought before it
happened to me.
Jill LeBlanc (15:58):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (15:59):
But, boy, did we learn differently.
Jill LeBlanc (16:01):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (16:01):
That when it happened, it was crushing and
painful and broken and grief andand sorrow. It all hit us. The
pain of losing a child or aloved one is, again, beyond
words. But but, you know, as Istudied the word of God more and
more, I realized that grief andsorrow and tears and pain were a
(16:28):
very common, common thingthroughout the bible. And I like
what, rabbi Earl Grollman said.He said grief is unbearable
heartache, sorrow, loneliness.Because you loved, grief walks
by your side. Grief is one ofthe most basic of human
emotions. Grief is very normal.And, I like that because you
(16:54):
think you're going crazy attimes.
Jill LeBlanc: Oh that's for sure. (16:55):
undefined
Charlie LeBlanc (16:57):
But to know that it's okay to cry, it's okay
to grieve, that the pain thatyou're feeling inside is normal.
I think I said on the lastpodcast that I went to my doctor
and he, I said, me, I'm cryingtoo much. And he said, no, it's
normal. Just hang in there.
Jill LeBlanc (17:15):
Yeah. A friend of ours, wrote us after she read
our book and she had lost agrandchild. He was only I don't
know three and he was a littlebit as they would say in England
poorly or sickly is what wewould say He just had a lot of
little things wrong with him andI think he died at three.
(17:39):
Anyway, it was horrific for thisfamily and yet she felt she was
in such an environment that shedidn't feel like she could be
honest about her feelings andemotions. Then she read our book
and she said, thank you forhelping me realize that I'm
normal because it's normal tofeel, you know, some people in
(18:02):
the beginning they're like whatis wrong with me? I'm always
crying. I can't stop. I I'mdealing with depression and all
these things and they don'trealize that that's for some
people not not for everyone butfor some people that's just part
of the journey.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:19):
Yeah.
Jill LeBlanc (18:20):
And it changes along the way but there
certainly are times when youcan't stop crying or you know,
you you you just you you can'tfeel anything because you're
just so traumatized. And it'sgrief. All that is grief. That's
(18:40):
what grief is.
Charlie LeBlanc (18:42):
Right. I don't know how much time we have left,
but I have a a scripture that Iwould like to share out of
1 Thessalonians, which is veryimportant, and it's and it's
very controversial in that1 Thessalonians 4:13, someone
would say, Charlie, doesn't thebible say we don't have to
grieve because we're believers?
Jill LeBlanc (19:03):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:03):
Well, let's talk about that a little bit.
Jill LeBlanc (19:05):
Right.
Charlie LeBlanc (19:06):
You know, here's what the scripture says
in, I think it's the New LivingTranslation. Paul said, and now,
dear brothers and sisters, wewant you to know, what will
happen to the believers who havedied so that you will not grieve
like people who have no hope.Now I can see easily how and
we've heard different preacherssay, you know, bless God, we're
(19:28):
Christians, we don't grieve, youknow, because we have the hope
of Jesus. I can see where theycould get that from the
scripture. But afterexperiencing grief, way we
experienced it as men and womenof God, you know, I see this
scripture as it's saying that wedon't grieve like those who have
(19:51):
no hope.
We don't grieve with no hope. Wegrieve with hope. And that's the
difference is that we know whereBeau is. You know, I've thought
about this earlier when you weretalking about that one woman
that lost her 10 year olddaughter and and didn't know if
she was saved or whatever. Buteven David said, I can, he
(20:12):
cannot come back to me, but Iwill go to him, you know?
And so that's a real healthything to understand and
remember. And we know that aboutBeau, you know? But still, there
are seasons and times foreverything. And at the beginning
to say, oh, we're both inheaven. Praise God. I'm gonna
see him again. That did not helpus at all. But we grieve, but
(20:34):
not like those who have no hope.
Jill LeBlanc (20:36):
Yeah. And you saying this reminded me, if you
can hold your thought.
Charlie LeBlanc (20:40):
Sure.
Jill LeBlanc (20:41):
The day that Beau died, one of his really close
friends came over to the house,and he said, said, today is the
day that we will be the furthestaway from Beau because every day
that passes is one day closerthat we'll be reunited. And
(21:05):
Charlie and I were having a chatbefore we started this live
stream and just noticing our agein the mirror a little more than
we did last time, you know.
Charlie LeBlanc (21:16):
Getting ready for the camera.
Jill LeBlanc (21:18):
And he says, he says, well, we can't stop the
clock. I, and I said, you knowwhat? I don't want to stop the
clock. And I don't want to leavethis life any earlier than I
should, but I don't want to stopthe clock because it's-
Charlie LeBlanc (21:33):
I say, well, do you, wanna die or something?
What's wrong?
Jill LeBlanc (21:37):
It's like heaven is going to be so amazing and
we're going to get to live inthe reason that we were created
and that is to be in God'spresence. He created us to be in
his presence.
Charlie LeBlanc (21:49):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (21:50):
The only way to get there is to pass through
this life. But and so I'm notI'm not wishing it to come
faster in one hand, althoughpart of me says, come Lord Jesus
because this world is my God.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:03):
That's true.
Jill LeBlanc (22:04):
It's so lost. I mean, it's just so bad. But so
I'm not wishing for my life togo faster, but I don't wanna
stop the process because heaven
Charlie LeBlanc: You get to see Jesus, get to see Beau, and family members. (22:15):
undefined
Jill LeBlanc (22:18):
Oh my gosh, heaven's gonna be so amazing.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:19):
Amen. Well, the flip side of that, I've got what
Paul said and that is, it'd befar better to go. And he said, I
wanna go, but he said, I thinkit's more expedient that I stay
so that I can help more people.And that's our heart in this
podcast.
Jill LeBlanc (22:38):
Yes.
Charlie LeBlanc (22:38):
You know, it's just to help you in any way that
we can. We have lots ofmaterials. We have a book called
When Loss Comes Close to Homethat really I really wanna
encourage you to get this book.This thing is powerful. It's got
all things, everything in herethat we're talking about is in
this book. And, it was endorsedby Joyce Meyer and Andrew
(23:02):
Wommack. So I guarantee you itwill help you and bless you. And
we have lots of other tools tohelp them. I think a download as
well.
Jill LeBlanc (23:13):
Right, if you, on the close of the broadcast or
you can look below, there's alink that says
charlieandjill.com/welcome. Andif you click that, you can go to
a place where you can receive areally cool nine step download
for the for grievers and theirsupporters or for the bereaved
(23:35):
and their supporters. And it'sjust little tips. It's taken
from our book, but it's just allencapsulated in one spot. So you
can have that as a free gift.
So that'll be a blessing to youwhether you're the one walking
the grief journey or you're theone walking beside the grief
journey. And those of us walkingbeside need a whole lot more
(23:55):
help to be a better supporterbecause it just doesn't come
naturally for everyone.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:02):
Right.
Jill LeBlanc (24:03):
Well that's there for you.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:04):
Amen. Well thank you so much for listening
and if you would considerbecoming a partner with us and
helping us to get this messageout, that would surely help us
in a lot of ways.
Jill LeBlanc (24:16):
And if you could share this with someone you know
that you feel like would benefitfrom these messages, that would
be great too. And then don'tforget to give it a thumbs up
down below as well as subscribebecause we'd love to stay in
touch with you on a more regularbasis.
Charlie LeBlanc (24:33):
Absolutely. Well, praise the Lord. Thank you
so much. God bless you. Andwe'll see you at the next
episode.
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