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February 29, 2024 81 mins

The patrons battled it out in honor of the upcoming Ides of March, and in the struggle between The Art of War and The Prince, let's just say The Art of War got Caesar'd. It's like getting Punk'd, but instead of meeting Ashton Kutcher you die and get a salad named after you. Win/win? Buckle up as the gang guides you through the world's second most practical guide on waging war and maintaining power.

Rachel says "here's the problem" roughly 80 times. Bekah really wants somebody to be gay. Jackie gets hundreds of sonnets written for her by Mr. Peanut. 

Topics include: the woman who rotates sandwiches, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, state cryptids, explanations of Ohio and Germany, terrible audiobook narrators who barely get any votes, a truly toxic doctor, female women, Borgias and Medicis, rice and horses, fear and love, Inigo Montoya, the monstrosity that is a medieval cat, Alexander the Great, a horrifying Kermit, lions and foxes and wolves oh my, and the return of everyone's favorite, Scipio Africanus.

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