Unlocking Peak Performance: Tanya Oliver on the Four Pillars of Holistic Success and Mindful Breathwork in Golf

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Join us for an enlightening conversation with life coach Tanya Oliver, where we explore how to overcome internal barriers that hinder our performance in golf and life. Discover the significance of the Four Pillars—mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical—and how they can guide you toward reaching your full potential. 

• Introduction to Tanya Oliver and her journey 
• Discussion on maladaptive programming and its effects 
• Exploring the Four Pillars for holistic development 
• Importance of self-reflection and emotional intelligence 
• Techniques for transmuting struggles into strengths 
• Impact of breathwork on performance and anxiety 
• Consequences of perfectionism and embracing imperfection 
• Value of mentorship and community support in personal growth 

Tanya has graciously offered a free playbook for our listeners.
www.Tanyacoliver.com/build

I am HIGHLY encouraging all to click the link and go through it. I promise it will be worth it to your game and life !

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, this is Jesse Perriman from the Flag Hunters
Golf Podcast, along with myselfand my co-host and good friend
and partner, justin Tang.
We welcome you to the secondedition of the 2025 installment
of the Flag Hunters Golf Podcast, and it is a pleasure and a
privilege to bring you thislife-affirming information this

(00:22):
week.
Oh boy, this week's a big one,y'all.
Life-affirming information thisweek oh boy, this week's a big
one, y'all.
The lady that is on the podthis week my guest.
Her name is Tanya Oliver.
She's from Miami, florida.
She is a life coach.
Not only is she a life coach,she's a very powerful human
being, a very powerful womanthat has been through the ringer
in her life, to come throughthe other side and create a

(00:43):
platform that helps highachievers, people that aspire to
realize the best versions ofthemselves, and what we would
call and what she coined thefour pillars mental, emotional,
spiritual and physical.
These four beacons that weaspire to reach on the regular

(01:06):
do help us transcend our currentsituations and really allows us
to reach for whatever it isthat we want to reach for in our
heart of hearts, and in thiscase, since this is a golf
podcast, we're reaching for thebest way to play this game and I
know that the better playerlistens to this information.

(01:27):
However, everyone can benefit.
So in this episode, tanya and Igo and we examine the four
pillars.
We examine basically the veryhumanness of what it is that we
struggle with, and she hassystems, ideas and programs in

(01:49):
place to basically help you getout of your own way.
And those of us who know whenyou know, you know most of the
time, if you deeply, deeply,deeply contemplate whatever it
is that trips you up, whetherit's on the golf course or in
life, it's usually somethingwithin that is blocking us.

(02:11):
I love Tanya calls it blockingyour blessings.
So we identify those potentialblockings and discuss ways to
transmute them, discuss ways totransmute them, ways to
metabolize them and actuallyhave them be an integral part of
our growth moving forward.
So, really, if you, if you wantto aspire to be the one percent

(02:35):
of the one percent, this is it,tanya's your person to get a
hold of and to work with.
She has very graciously andexclusively given us, for the
Flag Hunters audience, a speciallink.
It's a free playbook for thosewho are listening, and that link

(02:57):
I'm going to announce it here,but I'm also going to put it in
the show notes and I will haveit in social media for the next
seven to 10 days as I promotethe pod.
It is wwwTanyaOlivercom forwardslash build.

(03:22):
I checked it out.
The information in there isextremely powerful.
This episode is for all of youthat has been stuck somewhere in
your life.
You know in this case we'retalking about the game of golf.
I'm sure that you have takenlessons from great coaches.
You have done the requisitestudy.

(03:43):
You've gone down the YouTuberabbit holes.
You have tried a lot of variousmethods to help you get over
the top.
Unfortunately, in society, alot of these are surface level.
What Tanya teaches us is to getunderneath the veil of
consciousness and to identifyany maladaptive programmings,

(04:05):
whatever that is, so that we cantransmute them, metabolize them
, as I said before, and havethem as a strength moving
forward.
If you're struggling with yourgolf game, this episode's for
you.
If you're playing well, thisepisode's for you.
I've been working for Tanya fora few months now and I got to
tell you the road less traveledis being traveled.

(04:30):
I'm the better for it, myfamily's the better for it.
My golf game certainly isbenefiting from it, and I would
like yours to do the same.
And one thing in closing thatI'll leave you with and I want
to just plant the seed in yourhead If you ever walk down the
range of a PGA Tour event, anLPGA Tour event, whatever tours

(04:51):
out there, and you see a lot ofmen and women who are the 1% of
the 1% playing our game and theyhit the ball beautifully all
the time and you wonder toyourself I wonder why this
person hasn't won, or thisperson doesn't win, or whatever.
You know somebody who hastalent in their life and they
can't quite seem to get out oftheir own way.
This is the episode for you.

(05:12):
It will help you identify itand transmute it and have it as
a strength moving forward.
Tanya C Oliver.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm goingto make sure that all of her
information is in the show notesas well.
It bears repeating.
I can't in the show notes aswell.
It bears repeating.
I can't underscore theimportance of this conversation.
I think that this is theforefront of improvement,

(05:33):
getting underneath the veil ofconsciousness.
With all the advent of thetechnologies that we have to
identify and help you create agood golf swing and help you
create a good golf swing.
We now have the technologies toidentify how to create a great
human being that's powering thatgolf swing.
Cheers everyone, have a greatweek.

(06:05):
Hello and welcome to the FlagHunters Golf Podcast.
Y'all happy 2025,.
Of course, as we're diving intothe second episode of 2025, I
had to take a little bit of abreak, a creative break, and
we're getting in.
This year is going to be biggerand better and we're going to

(06:25):
really get down into thenitty-gritty of what it takes to
get better and to aspire atthis game that we absolutely
love.
I mean, everybody that listensto this podcast is an absolute
golf fiend.
But my guest is a special guesttoday.
Her name is Tanya Oliver.
Tanya is a life coach.
Not only is she a life coach,she is a very special one and

(06:47):
she has a lot of wisdom that'ssimple and practical, that is
applicable in ways that you maynot understand at a deep, deep
level, but at least yoursubconscious will understand
immediately, and I'm reallyexcited about this tea.

(07:10):
Thanks for coming on, hun.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
Jesse, thank you so much.
It's such an honor.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
So Tanya life coach, let's talk about how in the heck
did you get into that?

Speaker 2 (07:23):
I've lived many lifelines in one lifeline and I
need what I do and I grew upplaying ice hockey, which is not
quite golf, but I have heardthat ice hockey players catch up
, catch on with golf a lotfaster than the most Just
getting started, catch on withgolf a lot faster than the most

(07:43):
just getting started.
So I grew up an athlete, acompetitive athlete, and have
always been a high achiever,have twin brothers, so it was
always this, like you know,competitive edge, and I got came
from also a high achievinglineage of entrepreneurs.
So work ethic was practicallyin my bloodline and I was at a

(08:10):
point where I became more of aliability to myself than an
asset.
And there was not, the Internet, wasn't really around.
I'm an 84 baby and so it justkind of started happening as I
was like getting into highschool and college and nobody
could really help me.
Like mentally I was a mess.
It impacted my performance.

(08:31):
You know you're talking to alot of athletes out there and
when your mind is not right andyou're not emotionally well, it
will impact your performance asan athlete.
So I took my sport as far as Icould as a woman.
There was really no place to gowith ice hockey and so I was
just always feeling like I Idon't really have anybody that

(08:54):
was strong enough to support me.
So I had to really go into thisspace where finding experts and
hidden, hidden diamonds, hiddengems of coaches and mentors on
my own, and I just really soughtout what I needed.
I was in a point of addictionand suicide and heavy depression
and anxiety and all the intensestuff, and I just I think the

(09:19):
greatest gift that I have is myrelentlessness and my pursuit of
greatness and with that, nomatter how hard you get hit
which is one of the concepts insports you get back up.
So it became this journey offiguring out how to become an
asset to myself, get on my ownwinning team mentally,

(09:41):
physically, emotionally andspiritually versus a liability.
Because I chose to live and Godwas like, and I promised God
that if I could get out of myaddictions and my deep,
spiraling self-destructivepatterns, that I would be of the
greatest service to others.

Speaker 1 (10:00):
So the journey began and here we are now yes, 20
years later yep, what a greatjourney.
And uh, and thank you for that,tanya, that's, that's pretty
powerful there.
You know, uh, as we kind ofdiscussed before, in the game of
golf we have all of thesequantifying machines.

(10:23):
You've got this thing calledtrack man, you've got force
plates.
You have these tools thatmeasure what we do on a physical
level, and yet we still, in myopinion, we don't have tools to
measure and examine the depthsof our psyche.
Examine the depths of ourpsyche, and what I mean by that

(10:52):
is in the game of golf,especially in tournament play,
you are going to basicallypsychologically speak, deal with
your shadow.
Your shadow is going to bepresent.
The game of golf is, it's such aholistic examination and it
really tests every part of yourbeing.
And the game of golf, by itsvery nature, seems to find some

(11:16):
of the maladaptive programmingthat we have inside of our
nervous system.
Subconscious beliefs come outin the heat of the moment, and
I'm sure that a lot of peoplelistening to this can identify
with what I'm talking about andthe analogy.
I know that you can because youand I have talked about this,

(11:36):
but if there is a day when anindividual, a man or a woman, is
on the golf course and they'recompetitive, playing
competitively, and their beststuff isn't present.
There are internal resourcesthat we do have, that we can
conjure to help get us throughthat particular day.

(11:58):
The game of golf is differentevery day.
You're physically differentevery day.
You might wake up with yourhands a little bit more swollen,
your back might be a little bittight, your hamstrings might be
a little bit tight, and there'sdays where you're going to have
all systems go and it's greenlight.
There's going to be days whereyou deal with self-doubt.
What's missing right now inthis beautiful pie chart is this

(12:23):
very phenomenon of what does itreally mean to give yourself a
break?
What does it really mean tohave a spirit and a level of
acceptance that, hey, todaymight not be my day, so let's go
out and make the best of it?
And quite frankly, tanya andI'm sure a lot of people
listening would agree and quitefrankly, tanya, and I'm sure a

(12:43):
lot of people listening wouldagree that some of those days
when you don't have your beststuff and you do rely or have
access to some really coolinternal resources that show up,
those days seem to be the mostsatisfying, because most
professional golf, most amateurgolf, most golf on a high level
is 54 or 72 holes.

(13:04):
So that's three days or fourdays of pretty serious, intense,
competitive golf.
It's very likely that you'renot going to have your best
stuff four days in a row.
It's highly unlikely.
So what do we do with thoseother days?
How do we overcome these things?
And that's where we build andneed frameworks for those

(13:26):
internal resources to come out.
Golf psychology today is verysurface level.
I'm going to be completelyhonest and I'm going to state my
opinion.
I haven't seen anything outthere to a degree where okay.
So maybe there's some sort ofbelief in there that is tripping
you up.
Maybe there's some sort ofbelief in there that is tripping
you up.
Maybe there's something that'sbeneath the veil of

(13:46):
consciousness that's stoppingyou.
Maybe there's a belief.
Maybe there's a belief I'm notgood enough.
Maybe there's a belief in therethat as soon as I get to the
precipice of getting over a hump, I have something internal that
self-sabotages me.
This happens in the game of golfad infinitum, more than people

(14:08):
understand or know and have beendiscussed.
So to play well at a high leveland we're going to bridge right
into what you do even more.
It's a holistic pursuit.
It's not just on the golfcourse, it's off the golf course
.
It's how you deal with yourself, how you train your body, how

(14:29):
you train your mind, how youfeed yourself nutritionally,
emotionally, mentally,spiritually.
Yeah, let's get right into it.
Let's get right into the fourpillars of what you got first
things first.

Speaker 2 (14:41):
If you're talking about wholeness, whether you're
identify or label right, becauseall these labels, labeling
yourself, that number one youare not what you do.
What you do is an extension ofyou.
So it's important to pull back.
Before the sport, there's anathlete.
Before the career, the role,tasks, responsibilities.

(15:02):
You're a human being.
The career, the role, tasks,responsibilities.
You're a human being.
Parts of the human performancecomes down to the mental, the
emotional, the physical and thespiritual.
When any of the four pillarsare off or imbalanced, it will
impact you operating at peakperformance, regardless of what
life is throwing at you.
So if you're talking about gameday, you're talking about

(15:23):
practice day.
Every day is either practice orit's a game.
You either have to perform andexecute at something or you have
to sharpen your skills, becauseit's required for you to always
be on point.
I know you're the same way as Iam, and so are my high
achieving clients is.
Everyday counts, Everydaymatters, and today is is an

(15:45):
opportunity.
One of my favorite quotes isGod gave me a second chance and
it's called today, and this iswhere you get back up.
This is where that resiliencycomes in, that we can't take on
our past memory and project itinto our future, because that
has nothing to do with ourpresent reality.
So if you're wanting to operateat peak performance every
single day and operate in yourfull potential, that requires

(16:08):
you to take on your pastmemories as learning curves and,
at the same time, learn how tobe fully present, which is a
skill set in golf.
It is a walking form ofmeditation, which is just a
focused form of concentrationand then taking a practice time
of visualizing, even in thepresent moment, of how you want

(16:29):
to direct and the intentionsthat you want to script for your
day and how you're showing upfor your day.
So it comes down to really thework behind the work.
What are you doing behind thecurtain?
What are your habits, yourrituals, your routines?
How are you hitting your fourwins every day in each of the

(16:50):
pillars and the mental, thephysical, the emotional, the
spiritual?
If you don't know, you bring onexperts.
You see what other successfulpeople are doing.
And success is a very personalthing, because success just
means I achieved what was inalignment for my highest and
greatest good.
So if you're talking about allthese external check marks, that
doesn't mean somebody'ssuccessful.

(17:10):
That just means that they'veachieved these check marks in
their outer world, but that hasno correlation to how much
they're winning in their innerworlds.
The key to true success andalignment and harmony is to
create, create, get clear on,like, how you want to feel in
your inner world based on thosecheck marks.
What is your expectation whenyou win the PGA tour?

(17:32):
What is your expectation of howyou're going to feel when
you're present with yourchildren and your and you have a
intimate, healthy, deep rootedconnection with your wife or
your husband?
Like?
What is your expectation of howyou're going to feel?
Is it happy?
Is it fulfillment?
Is it joy?
Is it peace of mind?
Is it significance?
Like what is it?

(17:53):
And then from there it becomesa funnel system of aligning
yourself with the right people,places and things that are going
to bring harmony between theinner and the outer world.
And so there's so many thingsto this that we can just chop
down, but I wanted to bringawareness to the audience that
you have to remember to get backto the foundation and you are
the foundation.

(18:13):
One of my favorite quotes is byKatie Reed and she says
self-care is giving the worldthe best of you versus what's
left of you.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Wow, that's pretty strong.
That's a strong quote, wow.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
So that's our mission to be selfish, to take your
time, to go inward so that youcan serve at the highest level
in the outer world, whether itbeing with the people that you
love the most, whether it beingwith the sports that you love
the most, whether it being withthe career that you love the
most.
And if you don't love it, it'stime to pivot and course correct
.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yeah, and that requires a level of awareness.
So, with that being said, let'sgo back to talking about the
present moment.
It's been discussed in the gameof golf, it's been discussed in
the annals of instruction, bothon the physical level and the
intellectual level, but I'mgoing to say intellectual

(19:09):
because it has been surfaced.
So the present moment, let'sjust get you know.
You hear this thing.
I just, I just, I just want toget in the present moment.
I just and I don't think thatpeople have a whole body
holistic understanding of whatthat really is and how that
shows up Can you explain whatthat really means to be in the

(19:32):
present moment?

Speaker 2 (19:33):
Well, I think that people think that you can't be
in the past or the future at thesame time, but you are the
embodiment of the past, thepresent and the future at all
times.
When you are in a presentmoment because you have to be
able to, you know, get clear onwhere you're going, at the same
time of making sure you're notmaking the same mistakes that
you did in the past.

(19:53):
That's why it's never a fail ifyou're aware of the lessons
that have been achieved withinthat process.
Something that I teach iscalled a five day daily audit,
where you're auditing your day,you're building new
neuroplasticity in your brain bysomething called your reframes
and you're going back and you'retaking a healthy time out, just
like athletes playing poorly.

(20:15):
The coach calls a timeout, yougo in, you re strategize, you
huddle and then you get back inthe game.
And it's important that, asadults, we do the same thing.
Even if you're not playing at aprofessional sport or you're
the only person on your team,like golf, where it's a one
person, you know one personsport.

(20:35):
So, getting back to the presentmoment, we have five brainwaves
that we operate in.
We operate in a beta, an alpha,a theta, a delta and a gamma
and it's almost like you getinto this theta flow.
It feels like just like areally calm energy.
It's like this frequency whereyou just feel like you can even

(20:57):
be connected to air and breathwork is very, very powerful.
It's one of the things that youknow, I teach and I'm a huge
advocate on is like the yoga andthe breath work work, because
when you really slow down yourbreathing and there's different
forms of breath work to helpwith different forms of
emotional triggers that somebodyis going through.
So if you are having anxiety,which you're have very short

(21:21):
bursts of breath, the firstthing you do is you just connect
to the heart and you slow thebreath down.
The breath controls the rate atwhich the heart beats and so if
you can slow down the heartrate, it allows you to get in a
calm state of energy which putsyou into a theta brainwave where
you're your most clear state.

(21:41):
So it's almost like if you havethis like gray fog, you have,
you know the fogs, you guys getfogs and yeah, Okay.
So it's like you have this fogover your mind and you can't see
clearly.
You can't see really what'swhat's ahead.
You're not sure where to stepbecause you don't see anything.
So when you connect and youslow down, it's like the fog

(22:04):
disappears and you can see soclearly on everything of like
what's in front of you.
And that's how I best describewhat it feels like to be present
, because I think the biggestmisconception is that you're not
a planner and at the same time,like you're not your past,
you're not your future, but youactually are everything

(22:47):
no-transcript, what you're notwilling to be honest about.
You have to have that honestybefore you can even open the
door to self-awareness.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Boy.
That is extremely well said,boy.
We want to talk about anaccountability, a few
accountability statements there.
T the present moment issomething that is discussed in
golf and it's kind of like, yeah, just go into the present
moment and everything will beokay.

(23:19):
But I think that people fail torealize exactly what it is.
And you beautifully articulatedflow.
I want to talk about that.
Everybody's gone into the zone,right.
I mean you just, you knowthings move differently.
Everything slows down.
Your acceptance level is off thecharts.

(23:40):
You know exactly what's goingon inside of your body and you
know everything that's going onin of your body and you know
everything that's going on inyour external reality and you
know what the other players aredoing.
It's almost as if you canpre-forecast what's going to
happen.
It's a trip and when thathappens, when we play the game
of golf, it is the mostbeautiful thing I could possibly

(24:03):
imagine and your attachmentsseverely change.
You no longer become identifiedor negatively attached to
anything that is happening.
You are just there, but you'retrying, you're playing, you're

(24:25):
rooting for your teammates,you're playing partners, you're
trying your best, but the spirit, your overall energetic level
changes and I think that thisvery phenomenon of flow and
getting into the zone.
In your opinion, getting intothe zone, in your opinion,
asking you, could that befacilitated by breathwork,

(24:55):
specific breathwork on the golfcourse?
So, case in point, tom Watson,one of the great players in the
game of golf of all time he wasquoted in, I think it was in the
late 70s or early 80s when hewas starting to dominate on a
world stage.
A reporter asked him a verygood question.
He said I didn't learn how towin until I learned how to
breathe.
So what you're saying and thisis a question and clarification,

(25:17):
tanya is could breath work onthe golf course absolutely get
your nervous system predisposedto stack the deck in your favor,
to enter into this flow state?

Speaker 2 (25:30):
well, without a breath, do we have life?
oh gosh, that's hilarious so thebreath, getting back to the
emotional state and the energyand the brain frequency.
If you're combining sciencewith like feelings and the

(25:51):
hidden messages in water on amolecular level, with a
regulated nervous system, um,love and gratitude are of the
highest frequencies.
If you're talking aboutoperating in your full capacity,
in your full potential, in that, like like kneel in the matrix,
right in the matrix, it's likeeverything slows down, time
doesn't exist.

(26:11):
You're just like so clear onwhere you're going.
There's no fog, there's nodysregulation allows you to slow
down.
But what I've realized is a lotof people are afraid of taking
the time out because there'ssome type of correlation between
slowing down with laziness andit's just a false belief system.

(26:34):
That's from some of the clientsthat I've worked with that have
been professional athletes orhigh achievers or you know, in
the acting space, where it'slike go, go, go, hustle culture,
even in the real estate space,because I do work with high
achieving entrepreneurs thathave a lot of responsibilities
and there's just, you know,that's why it's like belief and
truth are not the same.

(26:55):
The heart, everything that we do, we come back to the heart.
We want to teach the heart andthe mind to have a coherence.
They want to work together ontheir own winning team.
Women have a womb, so we werecreators so we can multiply, and
you know we were designeddifferently.
So you have the mind, the heartand the womb.
Coherence for men, it's theheart and the mind and learning

(27:16):
how to work together on your ownwinning team.
And so if we're talking aboutthe breath, the breath is our
life force, it's our pulse, andwithout the breath, even an
inspiration is in spirit,inhalation.
You're you're having to bringout the life force.
And if you're talking aboutoperating at peak performance,

(27:37):
if you don't have a pulse, youdon't have a life.
And the whole point of whypeople choose something that's
in alignment for their highestand greatest good, if golf is in
alignment for you, is becauseit brings you back the pulse, um
your, your spirit.
It brings you back the joy, itbrings you back.
But when you get so caught upin the pressure, you know you
start to put the pressure onyourself, or you start to get

(27:59):
into this space of like gettingin your head and you get out of
your heart is where you starttripping over your own feet.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Yeah, that's a very common phenomenon.
That happens, it's, it's, youcan.
Awfully, you can often hearplayers say that oh my God, I
wasn't.
I was so in my head on thatlast shot.
I mean it's.
You know.
What's happening now is thatplayers, especially in the
United States it might be alittle bit different in europe
and asia, but in the unitedstates, where we do come from,
this, you know, uh, thisexternal, uh performance

(28:35):
expectations and in in thosethings outside of ourself, have
a tendency to put a lot, of, alot more pressure, like we feel
more pressure, um, to to executeshots perfectly or to do things
perfectly out there.
And the thing that I notice,also with players, as well as

(29:01):
myself too and I'm speaking formyself myself in a lot of these
cases, and I think it's reallycommon with a lot of good
players is the breath is such anuntapped resource that isn't
really talked about on aconscious level that you can
literally downshift your nervoussystem if you do have conscious
awareness on how to takecontrol of your breath.

(29:22):
And in golf, especially underduress, the number one thing
that bubbles to the surface withmost of us is anxiety.
Anxiety, a very physical, real,uncomfortable feeling that
permeates with it.
It's, it's, it's almost likethe very game of golf that the

(29:44):
energetic nature of it is likeall right, you want to play at a
high level, we are absolutelygoing to put you through the
ringer and we're going to makesure that you have command of
these resources that are Godgiven and educated.
And I feel as if there are some, there's some people that are

(30:13):
really pushing the breath andhaving and having it control the
nervous system or at least havecommand over it, but it's not
set enough and the effectsaren't discussed enough.
Here's a case in point.
Tanya, we'll say, let's say,players go out and they play
like shit.
Ok, the first thing that theydo is go to the driving range to
figure out what's wrong withtheir golf swing, but we haven't
been trained to analyze whatwas our internal environment.

(30:34):
Were we here?
Here's a great quote thatpeople say, especially my
friends on the LPGA tour bewhere your feet are.
Were you in the present moment,you know, was your head
projecting?
Were you in the present moment,you know?
Was your head projecting?
It's like the ego.
Is the ego so protective outthere and it wants to protect

(30:55):
you from pain by predictingcertain things that may or may
not happen.
That do get your consciousnessout of the present moment you
feel.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
You feel me, what I'm saying 100%, so I have to
listen to a few different angles.
There's three steps totransforming anything and anyone
in your life the first one wetalked about, which is
self-honesty slashself-awareness Like.
Then the second part, which iscuriosity versus judgment.
That's going to determine ifyou're going to progress or if

(31:23):
you're going to stay stuck AF.
That's going to determine ifyou're going to progress or if
you're going to stay stuck AF.
Curiosity is like what you justsaid.
It's an audit what were my cues?
What was the trigger, what wasthe cue, how did I handle it?
And then, what are the toolsand the resources that I
currently have in my toolbox?
Majority of people just don'tknow and they need to be shown,
because everybody talks aboutpresent moment, everybody talks

(31:44):
about meditation, everybodytalks about meditation,
everybody talks about, butthere's levels to everything
that a lot of people don't talkabout, specifically the experts
and how to.
And thank you so much for theintro.
It is my intention, because ofmy own experiences and struggles
, to create practical tools sothat people feel empowered to
integrate them on a day by daybasis.
Tools so that people feelempowered to integrate them on a

(32:07):
day by day basis.
So I went on this journey tofigure out simple, practical
things that I can do at anypoint in time, in any situation,
that are going to get meresults, where I'm not reverting
backwards or having relapses or, you know, staying stuck for
very long because we wanthealthy speed and when we want
to get out of it as fast aspossible.
So when you come from thisspace of curiosity versus
judgment, judgment shuts down.

(32:29):
So if you're judging yourselffor your performance versus
going back and being curious andasking better questions, like
you would talk to a little childlike hey buddy, like hey girl,
I noticed, like you, you knowyou got triggered there and and
this is how you reacted to it,so what the breath does.
If we're going back to the cycle, the breath work, the breath

(32:50):
gives you that healthy time outwhere you're creating a
separation between the emotion,the triggered emotion, and the
way that you react to it.
So you can do something calleda pattern disruptor, so you're
creating new, like a moment, andthen, when the pattern
disruptors come in, that's like,what tools do I have readily
available?
Do I know, cause there's somany different forms of breath

(33:11):
work, there's so many differentforms of breathing, depending on
anxiety or depression, or likewhat you're going through.
I don't think every type ofbreath is great for, like each
one.
I do believe that you need toslow the breath down when you're
having anxiety, to bring yourmind into your heart and yoga

(33:31):
they teach to to teach your mindto become obedient to your
heart.
The coherence to know tosurrender to.
And also, um, then you have,like you know, like the Wim Hof
breathing, which is great as ahype if you're in a low and
you're at a down.
But if you're having anxietyand you're already, like you
know, shaky, because if, even ifyou look at the physiology of

(33:52):
the body, it's like you know,like this, like a little shivery
, so you need to like come andlet it know that it's safe.
So the other thing that I wouldget into with that one, oh, and
then the third step is to seekout solutions.
So seek out experts, seek outpeople that are going to help
you with, like resolving, peoplethat are trained.
I always look at to the peoplethat have a track record.

(34:14):
Who are the people that like,what is their experience?
Are they?
The embodiment of what theyteach is really, really big for
me when I seek out mentors andcoaches and then all of my
students.
I don't know why they're alwayssurprised Like, wow, you really
do everything that you say.
I was like, yeah, why wouldn'tI?
Because it works.
The work works, but it's sosimple.

(34:35):
It's not easy, but it's simple,and finding masterminds or
support and accountability is sohuge.
So, because you're going to goback to your default patterns,
it's a muscle and in thebeginning that muscle is going
to be really weak until itbecomes strong because you're
you're predominantly beenoperating in default and a
default pattern for X amount ofyears.

(34:55):
I'm 41.
So I've been doing a lot ofwork, the last like 21 years.
But for 20 years, when I wasout of control and a liability
to myself and others, I had noefficient tools.
All I knew was the hustle andthe push forward.
The other thing is I'm going toget into this because it's
really, really important is,when you're talking about

(35:15):
attachments and addictions isthat when you get triggered, you
have to identify, like, when Iget triggered, what are my
triggered emotions that throw meoff?
And then what are the currenttools that I use, the substances
that people, places and thingsthat I seek relief from, and are
they?
Are they destructive or arethey going to whenever I leave

(35:37):
them?
Am I going to funnel outfeeling better about myself or
am I going to funnel out feelingworse about myself?
And that's where that wholeself-sabotage comes out,
depending on identifying andaccepting.
I'm always going to have mytriggered emotions.
We all have the same 22emotions.
I'm going to be triggered.
Hard shit is going to happen inlife, bad things are going to
happen in life, but how do Istill perform and execute

(36:00):
regardless of that?
And that comes down to yourtools.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Yeah, that's well said.
That's well said, you know.
I want to add a little bit toit too, to embody a spirit of
acceptance.
It's a trip to me to see thebest players in the world hit
poor shots and it just doesn'teven phase them.
It's like, whatever, whatever,moving on, it happens.

(36:26):
There there's already apredisposed spirit of acceptance
.
That's not it's not talkedabout to my liking enough like
that's a huge deal that givesyour nervous system permission
to relax.
It's like, hey, I'm a humanbeing, i'm'm going to hit bad
shots, let's go.

(36:46):
That's why I work on otheraspects of my game.
But in preparation for playingthe game at a high level or
whatever, you want to get better, you want to reach a certain
level, you want to get over acertain hump.
I think it certainly expeditesthe process If you can train or

(37:08):
predispose your nervous systemto have an embodied the spirit
of acceptance.
You know.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
The other thing is there's so many pieces to your
questions.
I think that is such a greatconversation.
I love talking to you.
Is that like?
What is it that you're reallyseeking?
Being a high achiever?
Because majority of the time,it has nothing to do with the
external check marks, as yousaid earlier, but all about how
you measure your self-worth, howyou measure your level of

(37:40):
importance, how significant youvalue yourself, and then also
love and validation.
And where are you seeking thesethings from?
Are you seeking it because youwant a trophy or because you
want a game, and then it becomesdependent on the external, or
are these things that you'retalking about, that self

(38:00):
acceptance that I am going tohave shitty days and I'm going
to have great days, and none ofthem is going to detour me from
how much I love and accept andhow my worth and my value are?
Because that's where you takethat separation and I am not
what I do.
You know, I am a human beingand it's like where are you

(38:23):
measuring these things from?
Is it based on the external oris it the inner, the work behind
the work that you're doing inthe internal, with your
self-dialogue, taking care ofyour body, regulating your
nervous system, having tools forwhen you do have temper
tantrums, you know like.
How are you processing all thisstuff?

(38:43):
How are you taking care ofyourself mentally and
emotionally, and spiritually andphysically?

Speaker 1 (38:50):
That's the wholeness of the human being somebody
would play this game and whythey would want to reach a
certain level or win a certainamount of golf tournaments.

(39:11):
You know, really performexcellently.
Getting to know the why is areal, real powerful thing and
I've had a lot of emails anddirect messages from folks and I
typically come back to why doyou play?
You know, really examine thatand there's no wrong answer.
Just figure it out.
Why you play?
Is it that external validation?

(39:32):
Is it a sense of accomplishment?
Or you just love the damn gameso much you just want to play to
the best of your ability everytime you go out there and tee it
up.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
You know because maybe that's your outlet, that's
your, that brings youfulfillment and joy and
happiness.
Some people it's horsebackriding, for me it's salsa
dancing, some people it's golf,you know yeah, for me it's golf.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
I mean, there's such a deep level of satisfaction
it's hard to put into words,it's like my soul food yeah,
that's exactly.

Speaker 2 (40:05):
Those are the words.
It's your soul food soul foodyeah life force you know god's
given everybody.
Um, and I will say too I wantto go back to this is that, like
, the anxiety is really thedisconnection from god, it's a
disconnection from source um,and that really comes back into

(40:25):
like you being connected to thewholeness of yourself, because
anxiety is correlated heavilywith fear.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Right, yeah, is there a way to?
I mean, fear and excitement areso close, it's weird.
Anxiety, I, I mean, just on theother side of fear, is
excitement, right, um, how?
How can we predispose ournervous systems for that
transition?

(40:54):
Because we, you know, I think alot of times for me, if anxiety
comes up on the golf course, Ido get separated from the here
and now.
You know, I'm thinking, I'mforward thinking, or I'm time
traveling.
We call it time traveling, youknow, time traveling in the
forward.
So if I, you know, do somethingon the next few holes, I'm
going to shoot a personal bestor I have a chance to win a golf

(41:15):
tournament or qualify for agolf tournament, instead of
staying in the here and now andbeing present Now.
With that my manifestation, Ican only speak for me, but I'm
sure a lot of people canidentify with this.
As soon as my mind starts goingforward, I start feeling
anxious.
The potential pitfalls.
Once again, we're beating thishorse, because the horse needs

(41:39):
to be beat, and it needs to bebeat from a lot of different
angles, because, unfortunately,the very nature of what we're
talking about right now is notat the forefront of golf
instruction, and it should be,especially if you're gonna.
If you're gonna go ahead andput your your whole life into it
, which a lot of people thatlisten to this podcast do, so
you might as well goholistically at it and stack the

(42:02):
deck in your favor, you know.
I do think, though, that yousaid something about the work is
simple, but hard.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
It's simple, not easy .

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Simple, not easy, thank you, yeah, explain that.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
So this kind of goes into manifestation right.
A lot of people just say wordsbut they haven't really broken
down to understand, to take timeto understand what it means or
the components to lead to thatCause.
Sometimes words are outcomewords, Like, for example, if
people want to be confident,that means they need to learn to
be clear and they need to havetools to help them, give them

(42:41):
clarity exercises.
So we're talking aboutmanifestation.
Manifestation is just a threepart equation.
It's simple, not easy.
It's elevated emotion, well, tobring on what you want.
So, if you, if you're talkingabout the equation, so
manifestation just means Icreated this, right, so this is
what I created.

(43:01):
I wanted to do a successfulpodcast, right, like you created
the podcast.
So, whether it's in alignmentor out of alignment, you still
created it.
So, for neutralizing theequation, let's start with the
neutralization.
It's an emotion and an action.
So you've got the emotion, theaction and the belief within it.

(43:24):
Okay, so that means, if I'vegot the emotion, on top of the
emotion, you can have anelevated emotion putting you in
a bliss state, putting you in ahigh frequency state.
Uh, underneath of it, you canhave a negative emotion, which
would be a trigger to put you ina negative space, which would
then lead into you know, needingto pull tools Right.

(43:47):
And if you have your, yourmotion, you have your action.
So, I'm sorry, emotion, you'vegot your intention, so intention
comes next.
You've got your intention.
Is it clear or is it foggy?
Are you drifting or are youjust doing what everybody else
is doing, because they have theoutcome, because there's
multiple paths to an enddestination.

(44:08):
There's multiple ways to makemoney.
There's multiple ways to Idon't know get the body that you
want.
There's multiple ways.
That's why there's multiplepaths to an end destination.
The key is to find the onethat's most in alignment for you
and the season you're in inyour life.
So you have your intention.
Is it clear or is it foggy?
Then you have action.

(44:29):
Your action is either inspiredthrough inspiration or it's a
forceful space which motivationis not, is not reliable, because
it's very short lived andnobody wants to be pushed around
for a lot.
Because it's an external factor.
Inspiration is an internalfactor and that's literally the

(44:50):
simple equation.
And if you're talking about thebelief, that also goes into,
like the emotional one.
So I, there was the action.
So it's really emotion, emotion, intention and action, and then
with each one has a duality.
So the key is, if you want tocreate and manifest what you
want in your life, that meansyou need to have elevated
emotion, clear intention andinspired action.

(45:11):
If you want to create what youdon't want in your life, you're
going to have negative emotion,you're going to have foggy
intention or you're going to bea drifter and you're going to
focus solely on the hustle andthe motivation, which is almost
like living a hell on earth.

Speaker 1 (45:26):
Yeah, that sounds very draining.

Speaker 2 (45:29):
Yeah, it is draining, it's exhausting, but it's like
anything, it's goes back intowhat you're saying.
It's simple, not easy.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
Right.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
And so, yeah, I don't know if I answered your
question there Manifestation andI wanted to bring clarity to
that, because the point is it'slike every single thing isn't
always the answer.
There's a, there's steps,sometimes behind it's the work,
behind the work, and then it'syour job if you are somebody

(45:58):
that does believe that you canhave it all.
I truly believe that everysingle human being was designed
to have it all, even if it isthe materialistic stuff because
you wouldn't have desired it.
You are designed to havewhatever it is that you want.
If you want to become pro atsomething like that, that's on.

(46:20):
You be present, learning how toregulate your emotions, manage
your emotions, have a heightenedsense of self, emotional
intelligence, self mastery, andstill figure out how to operate
at peak performance when lifegets really messy and chaotic.
Because it's going to happen atsome point or another.
For for every single humanbeing, whether it being an

(46:42):
unexpected death, whether itbeing a divorce, whether it
being, you know, a loss tosomething, or even sometimes a
letting, having to let go of ablessing that served you in last
season that can't go with youin the next season.

Speaker 1 (46:57):
So, with that being said, how does one develop that
level of awareness?

Speaker 2 (47:02):
Versus self-honesty.
I'm not happy.
Things are not in alignment.
There's something saying, eventhough the outer world looks
like I have all these checks andsuper fulfilled because I've
been there, I've been in thatseason, why, why am I still not
happy?
Why am I dissatisfied?
Because it wasn't for me, itwasn't meant for my spirit.

(47:22):
My spirit was not meant to bein that marriage.
My spirit was not meant to be aplateau to that career.
That career was not forever.
It was time to grow and withgrowth and the unknown,
especially as somebody inleadership, you have to learn to
rely on the guidance of theHoly Spirit, the guidance and
the connection to God, to havethe peace within the invisible

(47:44):
steps that you're taking and tolearn to enjoy.
You know I N J O Y enjoy toenjoy and enjoy life and the
journey and the process, becauselife is an adventure, life is a
sport and you have to remember,first and foremost, you're a
human being and so there there'sso many, there's so many moving

(48:07):
pieces.
I would kind of consider itlike I tell people like we're
about to go on a massiveadventure, so you want to think
of it as like a puzzle.
It's gonna feel like we justkind of took all these pieces
and we threw it in the air andthen it's like down on the
ground and now we're figuringout the pieces that are most in
alignment for you.
And another thing is to staydisattached, that life is

(48:30):
seasonal, and knowing when topivot and how to pivot, which
also requires you to beconnected to intuition, which is
all about being present but, atthe same time, simultaneously
being committed to what you saidyou were going to do and to
finish and follow through withyour commitments before changing

(48:51):
your mind unless you absolutelyknow like this is horrible
because part of the process youknow this as an athlete the
process is not enjoyable.
I get this question all the timewhen I do inner circle
presentations and speaking andmastermind.
Is that like, why does it suckso bad?
Sometimes, like, why is thislike so hard?

(49:14):
I was like because you'refocused on there's a duality
going on when you're changing.
It's a cognitive dissonancewhich you are then creating a
space called cognitiveconsonance, dissonance which you
are then creating a spacecalled cognitive consonance
where, when you're starting toadapt a new way of being and
embodying a new thought process,behaviors, habits, routines and
rituals that you have notadjusted to.

(49:36):
Yet it requires you to show upand to put in those daily
repetitions until about a yearlater you get to embody that
person.
And so in the beginning,there's always going to be
duality in the mind and in theheart, because there's a
grieving of your past and also aforward movement of your future

(49:57):
, as you're learning every dayto show up, regardless of like
how exhausting it could besometimes yeah, and it seems to
be that when you're on the righttrack, you're energized.

Speaker 1 (50:10):
Even if you're physically tired, you're still
energized, you still are in thatspace.
And then you know the the theopposite is it's uh, you know,
golfers can really identify withthis tanya and uh, and I'm sure
you can as well.
Once an athlete, always anathlete, my sister and when one

(50:33):
is entrenched in the process,you know this process of
ascension, and they're in themiddle of it and just things
aren't going their way.
You know, you're trying, you'reworking hard, you're doing all
these things and you're stillnot getting the results.
What then?
Because so many people do saythis like I mean, I'm doing

(50:56):
everything that I can in mypower, like I'm working on my
game, I'm working on my body,I'm working on my flexibility,
I'm working on my you know my my, you know my mentality, all
this stuff and I'm still notgetting the results that I want.
It's a very common I love thisquestion it's very common in the
game of golf like I'm doingeverything, this is here.

(51:16):
I'm gonna, before you answer,I'm gonna encapsulate the
vibration of the dms that I getfrom this podcast.
And it's Jesse, I love yourpodcast.
I'm doing everything.
I'm working on my game, I'vegot a good coach, I'm getting
rest, I go to yoga, I go toPilates, I go to mobility

(51:37):
training, I'm lifting weights, Ihave a Titleist Performance
Institute trainer, I'm takinglessons from a great coach.
You know I'm doing all of thesethings and I'm still not where
I want to be, and I know thatthis is an integral part of the
process.
What's the answer?

Speaker 2 (51:55):
First off, how are you measuring success?
You need to reevaluate yourmeasure of success.
That's why the first thing I dowith clients is we build
intrinsic power statements.
So I'm doing.
We mentioned this a little bit.
Why are you playing golf?
Because it makes me happy.
Okay, now we have some form ofa direction.

(52:16):
Another thing is that I actuallyinterviewed somebody, and even
you know Alex Hermosi, laylaHermosi, talk about this all the
time.
It's like if you can go threeyears straight and stop bitching
about it, stop like complainingand just like know that, no
matter how long it takes, Ithink people with that instant

(52:38):
gratification and then dopaminehits is also a form of how
people are tracking theirsuccess is that they're not
getting dopamine hits.
So you have to find other waysof measuring your success on a
day by day by day basis andbeing okay that it might be
three years for you, it might beone year for you.
That's why I talked about thecognitive dissonance.

(52:59):
It depends on how many layerswe have to unlearn and unravel
to what I, when I typically workwith people, it's not about
adding anything new.
It's actually removing thingsthat are not serving you, and so
, depending on your level ofattachments, the, which
attachments are just addictions.

(53:20):
I'm attached to an identity,I'm attached to behavior, I'm
attached to a substance.
I'm attached to an identity,I'm attached to behavior, I'm
attached to a substance, anddepending on the layers of those
, because a lot of times I don'teven realize there have these
different forms of attachmentsand everybody has a different
attachment style.
But then one of my favoritequotes I it was by Myron.
I learned this in RussellBrunson when I was doing like
ClickFunnels.
Stuff is he's talking aboutlike you have to embrace the

(53:43):
suck.
Like you have to embrace thatyou're gonna suck before you
become okay.
There's layers to this stuffthat you're gonna be okay before
you even become good and that'sgonna be good until you become
great.
And you're gonna be great untilyou become legendary.
And you can stop at any one.
That's the power of free will.
But what I've realized is mostpeople that have the innate

(54:07):
desire to be strong leaders andthe be the embodiment, the
embodiment of greatness.
Because even if you break downthe word full potential, which
is a big thing, I get all mystudents say like I want to be
my best self, I just want tooperate in my full potential.
Ok, well, if you're operatingin your full potential, like
that's still a stepping stone tosomething deeper which is

(54:28):
typically you just want toexperience what life feels like,
being in your greatness.
You want to.
You want to know what it feelslike to, which is also download
a feeling.
Work, which I do in thetahealing, is like sometimes
people just have never had theexperience, they've never had
something called the law ofexposure, they've never been
exposed to like you can actuallyhave it all.
You don't have to compromiseany aspect of yourself in order

(54:50):
to experience, like you know,greatness and high performance
at the same time, or being in ahealthy relationship or, um, you
know, making a lot of moneylike like nothing has to be
compromised unless you decide to, or you decide not to like
really work on that limitingbelief system because you become
a vibrational, energetic matchto your deep rooted, like

(55:13):
subconscious beliefs, which weactually have four light, four
layers of, uh, our subconsciousbelief system.
A lot of people are constantlybeating their head with
affirmations and incantationswhich is the frontal core, the
frontal cortex of the brain, orthe visualization, which is like
the pineal gland of the brain,but they're not realizing like

(55:35):
you also have your soul, camehere to learn virtues and you
have history and genetic stuffthat, uh, is on a cellular,
cellular memory, stuff thatisn't even yours, that you're
carrying, that's blocking yourblessings.
So I know I just went ham onyou and you guys, but Jesse

(55:56):
knows and I think this is why hewanted me to come on here is I
really don't hold back and Ithink you know, once you have
truth, truth is recognized.
A Course in Miracles says truthis recognized.
It can't be learned, but it'salways recognized.
Once you know the truth, thelaw of exposure, then you get to
decide if you want to, you know, blind yourself from it, or if

(56:17):
you want to go down that rabbithole.
Is it, is it easy?
Absolutely not.
Is it worth it?
One hundred percent, onehundred percent easy?

Speaker 1 (56:29):
Absolutely not.
Is it worth it?
100%, 100%, yeah, this, thisprocess, this journey is the
more that I examine it,especially from afar.
If I really take a step backand look at the, the miles that
I've traveled personally, the,the joy is in the journey.
That that's something that isbeen a massive paradigm shift
for me.
Sure, I want to play well.

(56:50):
Sure, I want to win golftournaments.
Sure, you know I am, I am a dogout there.
I want to play my best, I wantto do my best.
I'm a competitor, but me sayingthat statement brings so much
joy that, man, you know, if Ishow up for myself, if I do what

(57:13):
you and I talk about and Istack the deck in my favor, the
joy is in the journey, you know.
Even it's when you talk aboutboth men and women out there
that are high achievers, highlevel athletes.
In this case, we're talkingabout the game of golf in
addition to life.

(57:34):
Typically, somebody will sayhere's a typical answer of
somebody who wins a golftournament and the assumption is
, tanya, that this person justwent out and they played their
absolute best.
Their A game showed up 24-7 for72 holes, for four rounds of
golf or three, and nothing couldbe further from the truth.

(57:58):
They actually overcame theiranxiety.
They actually overcame a coupleof days of poor striking.
They actually overcame aphysical limitation.
It's like here's an old adagebeware of the golfer that is
sick or injured, because they'redistracted, they're more
worried.
So it's almost like the naturalpart of who they are comes out

(58:20):
because they're distracted withsomething.
But typically the interviewafter the win is I got out of my
own way this week.
I was present, I allowed myselfto make mistakes.
There was a couple of dayswhere I wasn't my best self, but
I hung in there, mm-hmm, youknow.

(58:43):
And there's this falseglorification, primarily in the
United States, of in order towin, you have to do things
perfectly, and that that is aparadigm shift that needs to be
changed because it's reallypervasive in the game of golf,

(59:04):
this sort of spirit ofperfectionism and if you don't
hit or do something perfectly,you suck.
I mean, I've heard a lot ofreally good players say I suck
and I'm like what?
What do you mean?
You're like top 10 in the world.
You're saying that you suckReally, you know, and it's

(59:24):
really a negative.
It's really negative.
It's a real negative vibration.
But I guess what I'm saying iswhat we're talking about,
especially when people that dowin and they give the answers to
the test.
You know, cam Smith won theBritish Open a couple of years

(59:44):
ago at St Andrews, the home ofgolf.
And a reporter asked him andI've said this many times, but I
think it's it's worth repeatingCam Smith won the British Open
a couple of years ago at StAndrews, the home of golf, and a
reporter asked him and I'vesaid this many times, but I
think it's worth repeating untilpeople start getting it and the
reporter asked him.
He said, cam, what was yourdifference between this week and
last week?

(01:00:08):
And he said well, I can tell youone thing that I'm really good
at right now, and that's beingcomfortable while being
uncomfortable, and I thoughtthat was a profound, very simple
statement.
If I was the reporter, I wouldhave been wait, wait, let's talk
about that.
What was that all about?
But instead they wanted to talkabout you know what he did on a
physical level, but that waswhat, what paved the way for his
physical level to come through.
With that spirit, we go back tospirit of acceptance and and we

(01:00:29):
go back to you know, doing thebest that you can to prep your
nervous system, to get underduress and to have these
methodologies and these in thesethings that help us get back
into our heart, get back intoour body, stay where our feet
are, things like that.

Speaker 2 (01:00:45):
Yeah, so I'm what you're saying too.
I mean, it's like anything,it's a, it's a one of the
greatest forms of personalgrowth and development.
You're growing, which is one ofthe basic needs of a human
being is to grow.
If you're not growing, you feellike you're dying.
So if you're constantly havingnext level challenges that
require you to grow and expandand evolve and learn, you're

(01:01:09):
going to feel a heightened levelof satisfaction and pride
within yourself.
And I know, you know, peoplelike to use the word humble a
lot and I actually looked up theword one time and I was like to
put yourself down and I waslike, no, I worked too hard to
do that, and not to be pridefulor boastful like through ego,

(01:01:29):
but to be like, yeah, I did thedamn thing.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
And.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
I'm best foot forward and, yes, there's room for
improvement.
But I showed up and I'm proudof myself, just like I would
talk to if I had a littledaughter.
I would be like hey T, ourlittle T, my little inner child.
I'm like hey, little T, youknow, you did it today.
You were going throughsomething and you still showed
up and you got out of bed andyou went and worked out and you

(01:01:56):
went and did all your coachingsessions and you still carved
out time to like, heal yourselfat the same time.
But you are also able tocompartmentalize and not project
your stuff and I do considerthat to be a heightened level of
like, being a pro versus anamateur, especially when you
have to execute and perform,whether on the field or behind

(01:02:18):
the screen or with your family,because as you're either
performing, you're on or you'relike downtime, and the downtime
is your time to process thingsand to work on yourself and to
audit.
But you know, I do say like, ifyou are able to compartmentalize
things and not project yourpersonal into the to, you know

(01:02:38):
what?
Who do I have to become to getto that next level and to
receive my next level upgradeand blessings and what aspects
of myself do I need to overcome?
And that's where, going back tothat cognitive consonance, that

(01:03:02):
cognitive dissonance is.
Are my thoughts, actions,behaviors in alignment with who
I need to become to win X, y, z,whatever your goal is?
Because a goal is just beinghonest about this is what I want
for my life, this is what Iwant in my business, this is
what I want in my relationships,these are my standards and my

(01:03:23):
core values.
And another thing that I seewhere a lot of people like, I
guess, flop at life or flop inthe game is they're not clear on
their core values and they'renot clear on their standards.
And you have to become thestandard, you have to embody the
standard, and that does requireyou to download virtues and to

(01:03:44):
literally become a brand newcharacter.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
Yeah, Boy, we're talking a high level, a very,
very high level of emotionalintelligence, you know, very
high level.
It seems to me that you knowthe goats a lot of the goats in
sport or whatever genre, do havea high level of emotional
intelligence.

Speaker 2 (01:04:05):
You have to there's no way around it to not only get
there, but to stay there.
So here's the thing peoplefocus on getting there.
Sustaining is a whole anotherball game okay which is actually
most people have the fear ofsuccess because they don't
believe one of my favoritequotes.
This will explain this.
Fear of success is with great.
With great power comes greatresponsibility.

Speaker 1 (01:04:28):
Right, but with great with great power comes great
responsibility Right, but withgreat responsibility comes great
power.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
Sometimes people are afraid of the power and
sometimes people are afraid ofthe responsibility.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
Do you think that boils down to a good enough
belief?

Speaker 2 (01:04:41):
It depends on the individual, based on their past
experiences.
I had to personally work onthat, uh, on that belief,
because I grew up privileged.
Um, we had like two H twos inthe driveway, three H threes.
I played travel ice hockey.
I played in Canada, I hadprivate lessons, I was
homeschooled.
There was three of us.
My sister came along later on.

(01:05:03):
So, um, I mean, I did getscholarship, but I like, and
then everything was gone, youknow.
So I saw that happen in myfamily dynamic of almost like
what's the point?
So for me it wasn't a goodenough.
It was like what's the what'sthe point of working so hard for
everything in a moment to betaken away from you.

(01:05:25):
So I had to reprogram that,because that's the thing is.
I'm like I read a quote today.
It was like, you know, you didit once without me, now do it
this time with me, you know.
So it's like that's where youget back up and you learn from
that that it wasn't yours, butwhat did you learn from where

(01:05:49):
things went south?
So it could be an enough thing.
It could be, but it also couldbe a real life experience that
was shown to you in a dynamic.
You know that's where it comesback to the different layers of
the subconscious, of where thatcellular impression they're
called called cellular memory,cellular impressions that based
on experiences, whether they beyours, or cellular memory, um,

(01:06:13):
that you can clear, pull,resolve and then replace with
god's understanding, perspective, definition, uh, that it is
possible, that you are capable,worthy of deserving.
It exists for you, in you, andit exists in others, and you
just reprogram like whateveronce you get to the bottom
belief of like where it camefrom, and then let it go and,

(01:06:36):
yeah, move forward.
So there's, there's different,different tactics for different
people.

Speaker 1 (01:06:42):
That last.
The last statements that youmade, tanya, are mic drops.
I was just thinking that ingolf we have my goodness, we've
got methodologies to explain andto help teach different body
types, different levels of play.

(01:07:03):
There's philosophicalmethodologies that work for some
, that don't work for other.
So the physical part has beenexamined just.
I mean, in my opinion it'soverkill.
And then we've gotten so smartwith all of our technology that
we falsely rely on it instead ofreally training and

(01:07:29):
understanding and analyzing theengines that drive it.
So I believe that thisconversation really is a
blueprint for those of us who dowant to ascend in this game,
because these aren't thequestions, these aren't the
conversations that are are.

(01:07:50):
They're not had regularly, butyet they should be, because they
really you can't, you, youcan't do the, the mental, the
emotional, the spiritual withoutthe physical showing up and
manifesting.
Everything goes hand in handyeah and and with the, with the

(01:08:11):
advent of this technology, withthe understanding that we have
now, with how to prepare thebody physically, with the
nutritional technologicaladvances that we've made, the
understanding of what proteinsdo, what carbohydrates do,
especially, especially in thecourse of play, how to sustain
our physical energy, like we'vegot all that, we've got it all,

(01:08:35):
but we falsely keep going backto these intangible things that
we think are going to help us toovercome the anxiety, to
overcome the stress out there.
That's self-imposed, by the way,because we, if we're in control
of our reality, you know that'sa good thing to start.
However, you cannot have onewithout the other.

(01:08:58):
In the game of golf, in the, inthe instructional space and in
the improvement space, hasfailed dramatically to examine
the very nature of theconversation that we're having.
You know, to really get downand to figure out or to ask
yourself why do you play?
To get clear on these thingsthat we've talked about and that
you've had, that you'veexplained so eloquently with

(01:09:21):
great detail and simplicity.
So you know one thing I, beforeI forget, I really wanted to
bring this up.
So, tanya, you've got a bookcoming out.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
Yes, I do so, folks.

Speaker 1 (01:09:36):
I'm privileged to have Tanya as a friend and I
pick her brain quite a bit, andI mean the book encapsulates
what we're talking about, right.

Speaker 2 (01:09:45):
The book is a practical playbook and it is
called Building the New a yearof living life on purpose.
So it is a one year plug andplay with stories, examples as
well as practical exercises toapply the regardless of what

(01:10:06):
season you are in your life.
You know, have clients wherethey're thriving in all areas
and then they just have a babyand they're like, oh my gosh, I
have to recreate myself rightnow.
So at any point in time, it'sreally about building life on
your terms and like let's do iton purpose, with clear intention
and inspired action andelevated emotion.

(01:10:28):
So it does.
It is like clarity on thevision.
Then it's reverse, engineeringthe process in a very simple,
simple way.
I think the issue is thatpeople overcomplicate things and
they don't simplify enoughwhere people feel empowered and
self-sufficient to makenecessary changes.

(01:10:52):
Because I'm just going to goback, it's really simple.
It's just not easy.

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
Yeah yeah, that term, simplicity, has a lot of layers
, my goodness.

Speaker 2 (01:11:02):
I literally have it in front of me every day.

Speaker 1 (01:11:05):
Yeah, simplify Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
Simplify, simplify, simplify.
Some of the greatest of alltime will tell you keep it
simple, Simplify, simplify,simplify.
That's really.
I think that's when you knowsomebody is an expert is they
can make something look almosteffortless, and it's a lot of
work to get that to look likethat.
It's taking something socomplex and breaking it down

(01:11:30):
into such a practical way wherethe everyday person can
integrate it and feel empoweredto do it.
So that's where I feel likesome of my gifts come in place
of, you know, being a teacher.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
What a.
What a great compliment.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely,absolutely.
What a great compliment.
What a great compliment it isto hear somebody say you make it
look so simple.
What a great compliment.
You know, but examining thedepth of that and exactly how
you just put it, justtremendously, it does take a lot

(01:12:03):
of work to get there.
You know it's, and as you saidbefore in the conversation, t
it's, it's the removal ofwhatever that helps trip us up,
that that gets in our way, and Ithink the very nature of this

(01:12:24):
conversation really encapsulatesjust how to get out of your own
way.
I mean, my goodness, thegreatest human foible is getting
in your own way.

Speaker 2 (01:12:28):
It seems like I would say that's a process.
I like to say it as like umlearning how to get on your own
winning team.

Speaker 1 (01:12:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:12:37):
You know cause?
I don't want to.
I want to befriend my dark.
I want to befriend my wounded,triggered um trauma.
I want to befriend it becauseit's what makes me me.
Yeah, and so it's.
Dr Joe Dispenza says it soeloquently.
He said wisdom is when a memoryno longer has an energetic

(01:12:58):
charge to it.
Wow.
So if you're talking aboutlearning to be fully present,
which is just concentrated focus, which is meditation, like the
ability to strengthen yourability, which is just
concentrated focus, which ismeditation, like the ability to
strengthen your ability to focuson point of focus, you, you're
able to be your past, yourpresent and your future all in

(01:13:19):
one.
That's why you can quicklyforesee what shot you're going
to take and how you're going tomaneuver it.
I remember when I used to playice hockey, I would literally,
in a split second, visualizemyself doing a wrist shot and
hitting the top left corner, andthen I did it and I was like oh
my God, you know, so like it'slike.
You are your past, present andfuture, but you're all in it,
like, right away, you know.

(01:13:41):
And so that's where it justdoesn't control you anymore.
It doesn't like, determine,like, and when you're triggered
by someone or something.

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
It just means it's an unresolved energetic charge to
something deeper right there,there, right there, lies a lot
of the crux of what goes on outthere, and identifying that and
I've been preaching meditationfor a while now it's like

(01:14:13):
creating the degree ofseparation between stimulus and
response and acknowledging thatif there is an energetic charge,
maybe that's something to beexamined after the round for
sure, and not to be attached tothat energetic charge is also
such a high form of emotionalintelligence.

(01:14:35):
It's when you come down thestretch, tanya, and you're
playing a golf tournament okay,and let's just say you're in
contention there's a lot ofenergetic charges that are
happening and in in a properlytrained nervous system, my
goodness, those that energy likeyou're on edge, but it's.

(01:14:57):
It's like, um, I guess I cancompare it to people jumping out
of an airplane for the firsttime, or bungee jumping, I mean
I jumped out of an airplane andI would not describe that.

Speaker 2 (01:15:08):
OK, I would not describe jumping out of an
airplane as that.
Ok, but think about it too,though.
Meditation is a workout toteach you how to be a more
focused, concentrated humanbeing.
Right concentrated human being,right?

(01:15:31):
So it's not like it's more ofthe work to get you to a final
destination of an emotional,energetic state that you desire
to be in?
Yeah, so everything has.
It's like I work out every dayto quiet the chaos of my mind,
to be mentally sharp and also tohave a healthy, strong body,
but it requires me.
That's like the bridge right,those are like the action steps,

(01:15:51):
those are like this is what Ihave to do in order to get to
those intrinsic goals.

Speaker 1 (01:15:56):
Yeah, this is.
This is a very nutrient, denseconversation.
My goodness, there's a lot oflayers here, but this is the
conversation that, quite frankly, it feels incredibly rewarding
to me, tanya, because the verynature of this conversation is

(01:16:18):
the reason why I started thispodcast, and that's to examine
these things that are underneaththe veil of consciousness.
But yet, as we've talked about,it is simple.
It does boil down to beingpretty simple and you have ways
to shed these layers of doubt,self-doubt, you know, disbelief,

(01:16:42):
and these maladaptiveprogramming that we primarily
got through childhood, that wereraised into the surface to
bless, to let go and to havethat become a part of who we are
, from a good, holistic sense.
As far as garnering wisdom, youknow, I mean I could go back.

(01:17:03):
One of my favorite humans rightnow is JD Vance.
He's one of my favorite humans.
His story is incredible.
I bet you he's overcome a hellof a lot more than a lot of
people even have any idea aboutto become the vice president of
the United States, and you knowthe process isn't without

(01:17:24):
struggle, but that's how Godwired it up, you know, to
strengthen our rod and staff.
You know it's a workout for ourwhole, entire being.

Speaker 2 (01:17:33):
Character and our character.

Speaker 1 (01:17:36):
The journey is, when looked at from that perspective,
just becomes that much sweeter,that much more, just satisfying
.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
I want to add to that , though, because I feel like
there's duality to everything,just because of what I know with
Theta Healing, is that you knowyou're a dad right.

Speaker 1 (01:17:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:58):
So you give what you wish you would have had, sure,
so your children can neverrelate to what you had to
experience, right, and I thinkthat's the part of all parents.
And it's the same thing withlife, like we don't always have
to go through trauma or trial ortribulation in order to grow a

(01:18:22):
character, or to be backedagainst a wall in order, or bad
things to happen to us in orderfor us to build character or to
be changed or to instilldifferent aspects of virtue like
fortitude, resiliency, kindness, grace, compassion.
If we have something called thelaw of exposure, which is the
significance and the importanceand the relevance of getting

(01:18:45):
this information out there andhaving more thought leaders rise
above and start to really fullyshow up, more people can see
the standard, they can see thatyou can achieve X, y, z, and
that's the whole point ofmentorship and coaching is to
fast track people to preventthem from having to go through

(01:19:05):
the mess ups that they had tolearn the hard way.
So I do believe, like, yes,it's unfortunate that we have to
go through some of those things, and you have your story, I
have my story, this and that,but like it's what you do with
your story, but at the same time, I do believe that there are,
there is, another way.
There's multiple paths to anend destination and, with the

(01:19:28):
law of exposure, to show peoplethat like this can also exist
with you and for you, and youcan build character in a way
where it doesn't have to betraumatic.
That here's the playbook, andthat's like the biggest calling
in my heart was to like get thisbook that I've been working on
for three years.
A lot of people don't reallyhave been working on this for

(01:19:49):
three years to make sure that itgets the message across, and
throughout the three years mytone has changed.
In the beginning of the book,my editor and I'm straight up
about everything.
I think that's what peoplereally like appreciate about me.

(01:20:10):
Is that because I'm a humanbeing, is that in the beginning
I was trying to prove myselfwith what I was saying.
At the end I'm the embodimentof what I was saying, but in the
beginning those were my dailyrepetitions.

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
Interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:20:16):
Because four years ago I was suicidal and I didn't
want to be here anymore and mywhole world was taken from me,
the world that I created, butthat's where I then had accepted
God in my life, and that's thatone quote where I read that
really hit my heart was like youdid it this way without me, get
up and do it with me this time,you know.
And so, like you just have tokeep getting up every single day

(01:20:39):
, but to know that like thingscan be better, you just have to
decide and you do have to bet onyourself, you do have to invest
in yourself, because peoplelike us, like we've put in a lot
of work, and so there's aspecific type of conversations
and intellect and core valuesand standards that we hold and

(01:20:59):
we are in our circles are inalignment with that.
So if you are not at that levelor you don't know how to get
there, that's where you pay toget in rooms, or you pay for
programs for people to teach youhow to then level up to those
standards, level up to thosecore values and to give you that
law of exposure.
That is the fastest way thereis.

(01:21:21):
Coaches and mentors and booksare great, but they're not
enough.
They're not enough.

Speaker 1 (01:21:29):
Yeah, so Tanya how can people find you?

Speaker 2 (01:21:33):
You can find me on Instagram at Tanya C Oliver.
I've got my the big birthdaybook launch, which is Tanya C
Olivercom forward slash birthday.
You got the website Tanya COliver dot com and email Tanya
at Tanya C Oliver dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:21:52):
And I'll make sure to include that, all that
information, in the show notes.
And, tanya, this, thisconversation, really is embodied
the spirit of what, what I washoping to discuss and bring out,
and and and.
To you listening, this iscoming from my heart and it's
also coming from Tanya's heartand this is coming from personal

(01:22:14):
experience.
You know she's, she's beenthere, done that, and I've been
there, and, and, and I've donethat and still doing that, and
we're both still on the journeyand that journey will, will
always, will always be in frontof us and um, and I hope to have
you on again uh, this veryphenomenon and this side of the

(01:22:35):
game in life does, uh, does needto be discussed and analyzed,
and and simplified and I justwant to add that to the
listeners that you can have itall, whether whether you believe
it or not.

Speaker 2 (01:22:48):
you can have it all and you can live an
extraordinary life, but firstyou have to become an
extraordinary human being.

Speaker 1 (01:22:57):
Absolutely Well said.
Tanya, tanya, oliver, ladiesand gentlemen, thank you.