An Unplanned Story of Redemption and Restoration: Chad And Stephanie's Story

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're tuned in to Friends and Family, a God's Way
Radio exclusive where weintroduce you to some amazing
people.
In John, chapter 15, verse 15,jesus says I have called you
friends for all things that Iheard from my Father I have made
known to you.
That's our aim that God wouldbe made known to you.
Stay with us until the end ofour conversation for more

(00:22):
information on this program andother unique offerings from
God's Way Radio.

Speaker 2 (00:28):
God's Way Radio family.
I have the joy and privilege ofbeing here with some dear
friends.
Today we're going to get tochat with Chad and Stephanie
Bogie.
Good afternoon.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
Good afternoon, joey, it's great to be here Good
afternoon.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
Joey, it's so good to have you guys.
We've been praying and talkingand getting ready and you know
we're here just to hear yourstory.
All that God has done in yourlife and I mean he's not even
close to done yet To get started.
Why don't we start here, guys?
What are you currently doing ina sense of serving at the
church?
What does God have you guysdoing when you're serving?

Speaker 4 (01:08):
Shout out to to calvary chapel, miami, but
please share with us what godhas you doing right now?
Share a little bit about yourfamily, shout out to the family.
Well, um, my name is stephanie.
I've been covering coming tocalvary miami since the 90s, and
so I've been at calvary miamifor over 25 years, and right now
I'm currently serving in theworship ministry, and I also
co-serve with my, my husband, asoverseers of the marriage

(01:28):
retreat ministry.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Awesome.
Chad.
I came in 2005.
And currently I am part of acouple different teaching
ministries of marriage classesand a foundations of faith class
, and then, as my lovely wifesaid, we oversee marriage
ministries specifically workingon the marriage retreat, and so

(01:51):
those are kind of the three mainministries I'm a part of.
Awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
And if you listen with a close ear you're gonna
see how sweet it is wherethey're serving and what God is
doing.
But thank you so much, steph.
You said you got here in the90s.
What do you remember from yourfirst days, first years at
Calvary Chapel?
Where was your family atsiblings?
Tell us about getting toCalvary in those first days.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
Well, it was at first just my mom and me and my
sister coming to church.
My dad wasn't coming, he wasn'ta believer at that time and I
just remember going into kidsministry I didn't really want to
go, I was like a quiet girl andI was shy and it was hard to
open up to people, with just thenature of my personality.

(02:38):
But it was just such a sweetsmall community, the church back
in the day when it was on the67th Avenue property and just
meeting the other church membersthere under Pastor Raz, and it
was just a sweet church that mymom was first invited from a

(03:02):
friend from her work and then,long story short, my dad finally
started coming to church.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
Do you remember how long it was before he started
coming?

Speaker 4 (03:12):
I don't remember.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Because you were little.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
I was very little, probably age six or seven.
I remember all of a sudden nothaving to celebrate Halloween
anymore.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's awesome yeah.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
That's awesome.
Are you glad your mom broughtyou in your sister's church?

Speaker 3 (03:30):
and made you come.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
Yes, awesome.
Just a shout out to parents outthere Keep doing it, it's good.
It's good.
They're going to thank youlater.
Chad, when did you first cometo Calvary Chapel, miami?

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Well, my older brother.
I have three older brothers,but one of them, whose name is
Todd, he moved down to Miami andit's kind of funny, he lived in
Boston and I never visited him.
And then he moved to Miami andsuddenly I'm visiting him on
spring break and summer break, Iguess, just loving the beach,
and then so he was attendinghere, and then that's when I
started visiting Calvary Chapel,miami for the first time, and

(04:07):
even then I just remember howwelcoming they were.
I remember some of my firstencounters with different people
, some of them that still gohere, and the last spring break
that I visited.
As I left, I remember and likeI want to move down here, would
love to, to, to be herefull-time, yeah, and so just

(04:27):
good memories.
You know those were the early2000s and then I moved from
Nashville, tennessee, down herein 2005 so let's wind the clock
back a little bit chat, if youdon't mind.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
Just your family upbringing background.
Me Stephanie kind of took itfor granted.
Your parents weren't believers,then your mom became a believer
and then your dad became abeliever.
That's the super short summaryand anything you wanted to add
to that.
Was there any kind of godchurch in your background?
Different religion um.

Speaker 4 (04:52):
I vaguely remember visiting um maybe another
catholic church or baptistchurch um, but not really not
too much gotcha.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
So chad kind of going back to your upbringing, your
family, your, your childhood.
Was it a Christian family?
What area of the country didyou grow up in?

Speaker 3 (05:10):
I grew up in the small mountain town of Bend,
oregon, and I'm the youngest offour, so I have three older
brothers, and we grew up in thechurch.
My parents were both Christiansand I remember at a very young
age my mom was leading my nextoldest brother which I said
already his name is Todd to theLord.
She was leading him in thesinner's prayer and I probably

(05:33):
maybe was three or four, and Iremember saying I want to pray
that also, and so at that youngage I accepted the Lord into my
life and you know, as we getinto our testimonies a little
bit, it's definitely going toshow on my end that I did not
honor that commitment to theLord, but on the Lord's end, he

(05:54):
has never left me nor forsakenme, and um and I've seen that
time and time again, um,throughout my life.
And so at that young age andbend, though I may not have
fully known the commitment I wasmaking, the Lord has always
honored that commitment, whenevery time I've cried out to him
, even though in my own failures, he has always responded.

Speaker 2 (06:18):
You know so amazing.
You know how you worded thatright.
A lot of people like to arguetheology and go back and forth
with Bible verses but just torealize, looking back, that yeah
, I made a commitment to theLord, I prayed and I know God
hears prayer and he heard myprayer.
Just awesome.
Thank you so much for sharingthat.

(06:39):
You know, if you just tuned in,this is God's Way Radio, our
interview series.
It's so strange, it's just ourfriends.
You know friends and family.
We're sitting down with friendshere and some of them are
closer friends than others.
This is my dear family.
I remember going to theirwedding, not knowing them very
well, beautiful wedding.
I thought, oh man, I'm so gladI was invited.
You know, I felt so specialbeing invited and just an

(07:07):
amazing thing what God has done.
And all that to say.
Again, if you just tuned in,you want to stay tuned.
We're talking with Chad andStephanie and if you ever have
any questions, you want tofollow up, you can call us,
reach out to us at the studioand we'll try to get you that
information or connect you asbest we can.
786-313-315.
So kind of jumping forward alittle bit here.

(07:28):
You guys are in Calvary Chapel,miami.
And Steph, you're growing up,you're in the youth group
serving, and Chad, you end upserving in the church.
Take us to those youth groupdays and, I don't know, maybe
there's a funny story, a funthrowback, I don't know.
Just catch us up right.
We're jumping forward in timehere to Stephanie.
You're in youth group.

(07:49):
Who's the pastor this time?
The youth pastor.

Speaker 4 (07:53):
I probably.
In the beginning I was underPastor Carl.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
Cool.

Speaker 4 (07:57):
And then Pastor Adrian.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
Awesome, awesome.
And Chad, did you serve withboth of those guys or one of
those guys?

Speaker 3 (08:04):
I served only with Pastor Adrian.
So I started serving in youthgroup.
I think it was in 2006.
And one of the kind of initialthings to get my feet wet was
the 2006 camp.
I was a counselor at the campthat year and I know Pastor Zach
it was his senior year in highschool and so there's a number
of memories there that stand outto me I like that.

Speaker 2 (08:27):
You're not sharing any of that.
So, stephanie, maybe you tellus about you know what the lord
did in your life as a youth andyouth group.
Again, there's, there's just anincredible testimony that we're
gonna get to.
You know, um, but what was thelord doing in your life leading
up to that point?
And maybe you already start toget to you know, but what was
the Lord doing in your lifeleading up to that point?
And maybe you already start toget into the testimony.

(08:49):
You know the Lord's trying towork in your life.
Maybe you're resisting the Lord, maybe not.
What is the Lord doing in yourlife as a youth?
Right, thinking of youth,listening, right.
What is God doing in your lifeas a teenager?
How's he speaking to you?
How's he trying to reach you?

Speaker 4 (09:03):
well, I was attending youth every single friday since
sixth grade, um, and I wouldhave amazing mountaintop
experiences going to youth camp,um, meeting other friends my
age and knowing these familiesand but my parents trust their
families and that we're all inon the same page and it's just

(09:26):
like such a different lifeversus what I used to be a part
of, which was like a verycompetitive dance world.
So we kind of said goodbye tothat dance world and then, um,
we started getting more involvedin church and, um, honestly, I,
just I on the outside it seemedlike I was just an awesome,

(09:49):
obedient child, listening to myparents and submitting to them
and going to youth group, goingto youth camp, gladly, in which
they were all awesome, amazingtimes.
I've made such great friends,long, long friendships along the
way, but I'm again like thosemountaintop experiences, which

(10:11):
were beautiful times.
I've probably offered my heartto the Lord so many different
times, but there wasn't muchlike long lasting fruit.
And I'm also, in high school,super involved.
In high school school I waspart of the dance team.
I was really involved, I washomecoming queen, I had a lot of

(10:33):
friends, and so it was justalways I thought you were the
shy girl.
I was as a child but then in myhigh school days, I guess I just
I don't know, I guess I wasjust a little bit more social
and um, so just to have thatpull with my worldly school

(10:53):
friends and then the pull withmy church friends, um, the pull
was always stronger with my highschool um friends.
Um, so I was, as you say, Iguess, a lukewarm teenager and
um, just never really fullycommitting to the lord yeah,

(11:17):
yeah, well, I'm thinking there'sthere's so much we can talk
about there.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
You know, um, that experience, you know we pray
that that wouldn't be.
You know our teenagers right,that they would just be plugged
into the lord and and maybewe'll come back to it.
Maybe we'll come back to it.
But thank you for sharing.
You know where you were at andand, uh, again, just getting
insight into your guys lives,getting to know you, uh, because

(11:41):
, well, I'm not gonna say it,because then you'll get nervous
about who could be listening,all the wonderful family of
God's Radio and the reach of theministry.
But, chad, before we thinkabout that too much, you know,
would you say that kind of giveus some insight into growing up.
You know, did you just run fullfor the Lord?
Did you have a season of?
Did you have a season ofprodigal?

(12:03):
Was it more lukewarm?
Tell us growing up you knowthat maybe kid stage, teenage
stage how the Lord was reachingout to you and how you were
responding to the Lord.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yes.
So you know I grew up in thechurch and I went to different
denominations, you know, back inOregon.
But I think a lot of myrelationship with the Lord is,
you know, and I don't want to,you know, blame anything on lack
of understanding when we kindof get to a little more of
Steffi and I's testimony, youknow, I want to be very clear

(12:38):
that my sin was my sin.
It's all my responsibility.
But looking back, growing up, Ithink, like a lot of Christians,
some of my faith is work-based.
As I'm going to church and Iread my Bible, I'm doing good,
and then I'm not reading myBible.
Things are terrible and Godrewards me based on what I'm

(13:00):
doing for Him.
And so, looking back, my middleschool and high school years
are just kind of up and down.
You know, there there's a fewmoments of you know going harder
for the Lord and you know, asyou, as you, draw close to the
Lord, he always draws near toyou and I even have a few um God
stories.
But then there's a lot of notdrawing near to the Lord and you
know watching things orparticipating in things you know

(13:23):
I knew was wrong.
And so you know very up anddown, and you know that went
into college and even in some ofmy adult years, where there's
just seasons of you know drawingvery close and then there's
seasons of kind of you knowdistancing, which will always
have its consequences.

Speaker 2 (13:45):
You know, chad, I want to ask you something and
you mentioned this earlier andyou'll know what I'm talking
about, but I think this is theright time to address it, to
look at it, because we evenspoke recently how kids at a
younger and younger age aregetting exposed to sexual
immorality, basically and we'regoing to get into the testimony

(14:07):
that the Lord did with you guysand so what I want to ask you is
do you remember when was theearliest time that you were
exposed to sexual immorality,kind of like what it was?
Obviously, you know, whateveryou're willing to share,
whatever's suitable for thelisteners, but guys, I mean, are
willing to share whatever'ssuitable for the listeners, but
guys, I mean, this is real, youknow, and we want to protect our

(14:27):
kids, we want to make peopleaware that these decisions these
issues have long lastingeffects.

Speaker 3 (14:43):
So do you remember when that happened to you?
For you, yes, there's a coupleinstances that are very clear
and I remember once being at afriend's house and seeing some
really nudity in movies.
I remember a couple times.
So this would be that mighthave been in the fifth grade.
I know in the sixth grade evenlying to my mom like I'm going
to a friend's house to my mom,you know, like, oh, I'm going to

(15:05):
a friend's house.
You know we're watching somemovies but you know they're
rated PG when they were.
You know again, movies that had, you know, a lot of nudity.
I also remember in middle schoolsomeone bringing you know a
pornographic magazine andlooking through that, and at the
time I know that I knew thatwas wrong and I'm sure I asked

(15:26):
God for forgiveness.
But those things, when theyhappen, if they're not
thoroughly dealt with, come back.
So then you have these stagesof you know I'll never want to
do that again.
And then you know whatever, ayear or two later falling into
something else or somethingdifferent or some other

(15:46):
inappropriate sexual type ofsexual immorality.
So I know those thingscontinued.
I don't know if haunt is theword for years to come and
obviously, to this day, everyChristian needs to be aware of
the flesh and you know keepingyou, be aware of the flesh and

(16:06):
you know keeping, you knowcrucifying the flesh, and maybe
we can get into that.
But I think those things that Idealt with fairly young, as you
mentioned it.
There's kids now that are doinga lot more at a lot younger age
, but that needs to be dealtwith more than just you know.
God, forgive me, I never wantto do it again.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
Yeah, yeah, be dealt with more than just you know,
god, forgive me, I never want todo it again.
Yeah, yeah, thank you so muchagain because I think we can be
um, blind to it or we could benaive to it.
Uh, that man, this can happenand it it will affect our kids
and and just the need, like yousaid, to address it.
So thank you so much forsharing that, for being open

(16:46):
with that.
So you know, here's where weget into the testimony part, the
start of the testimonial.
If you will and I know yourguys' heart, you know and even
if you want to comment on thisbefore we even get into the
story, I know your guys' heartis just a point to the Lord.
You know there's that kind of Ithink people kind of go back
and forth.
Either they don't want to evertalk about their past or you

(17:07):
know people share theirtestimony.
It's like an hour of how badthey were and then I got saved.
Then they walk off the stageand go wait, this is a little
unbalanced here.
So I know your guys' heart isto just look at the work that
God has done.
You know the depth to which wecan fall, the height that God
could raise us up upon the rockof Jesus Christ.
So I know that's your heart, sowe know that's your heart.

(17:31):
So you're serving in youthgroup.
Chad, steph, you're a youth, yougraduate from youth group,
you're 18, 19.
And there's a liking right,there's an attraction.
What went on there?

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Well, to back up a little bit.
It adds maybe to the drama ortreachery on my part later on,
but the Lee family were some ofthe George Lee and if you know
George Lee you only have goodthings to say about him.
But he's one of the first guysthat reaches out to me at church
period Wow, and I know in, youknow, I believe 2005, I'm

(18:09):
already friends with George andBarbara.
And then my very firstThanksgiving in Miami you know,
younger and single, they inviteme over to Thanksgiving and it's
interesting because I was justkind of reflecting on this the
other day I've never missed aLee Thanksgiving since then,
even in spite of what's going totranspire.

(18:30):
And so I had a relationship withthe parents before Steffi, and
then Steffi's wonderful oldersister, jadine, was friends of
mine.
He's going to become the bestbrother-in-law in the world
George Rodriguez, friends ofmine.
I participated in their weddingand then that summer, so at

(18:52):
some point I get to know Steffiand she's great and you know we
joke around a lot.
I go on vacation the summerbefore she enters into singles
ministry to Aruba and I'm surethey invited me just as a family
friend and I love Aruba, I lovetraveling and I had a great

(19:13):
time.
And so then when she enterssingles, obviously we're already
friends, I'm friends with thefamily, but there definitely
starts to become a for me youknow, speaking for myself, um, a
physical attraction and youknow, and at first you know,
trying to, you know even um, youknow, take it to the Lord and

(19:36):
you know, um, but I rememberpraying about it and you know,
but they're definitely physicalattractions.
This girl is gorgeous, she'sgreat, she laughs at my jokes,
that type of thing initially.

Speaker 4 (19:54):
That's awesome steph what was going on yeah, so we
would, um, I would be attendingsingles ministry and then there
would be a lot of times where Iwould tell my parents that we're
going to go hang out with thesingles from church and they're
all for that, they're supersupportive, because obviously
those are not like my highschool friends, my high school

(20:14):
worldly friends.
So after sometimes singlesevents that Chad and I would
hang out together, after thatalone out together after that
alone, um, um.
So my parents obviously hadthey, like chad said that he was
a family friend and theytrusted him, so they probably
had their guard down with him,um and um.

(20:38):
I never shared um with myparents that I had any romantic
interests with Chad and soanything.
I'm thinking of this proverbthat it says stolen water is
sweet and bread eaten in secretis pleasant, which is Proverbs 9
, 17.

(20:58):
So Chad and I would kind ofpretty much hang out secretly
and so that was exciting andpleasurable and that's how
things started moving forward.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
Yeah.
So again, this is your guy'sstory.
You know what happened.
There's something, there was afailure or a falling.
Again, as you desire to shareit and tell it Again, remind it
every juncture.
I'm going to keep remindingpeople.
If you're just tuning in, youit again.
Reminded every, every juncture.
I'm going to keep remindingpeople.
If you're just tuning in,you're going man, this is tough.
What are they talking about?
We're talking about God's grace.
We're talking about God'sgoodness and and there's

(21:34):
sometimes there's a Valley toget there, sometimes there's
difficulty, but we are talkingabout the goodness of God today,
but right now we're at thispart of the story.
What's going on in your guys'lives?
What happens?

Speaker 3 (21:44):
Well before, before any, I guess, physical lines
were ever crossed.
One church, you know, I'll justsay church elder.
You know he spoke to me likeyou know, maybe seeing there's
some chemistry, or or seeinglike you guys look like maybe
there's more than you're, morethan friends, and and that, and
that was about it, just like beaware, or you know

(22:05):
accountability.
Or seeing like you guys looklike maybe there's more than
you're, more than friends, andin that and that was about it,
just like be aware, or you knowaccountability, and and I
remember seeking the Lord and aBible verse that came to me
which doesn't you know.
At the time I thought maybeit's some confirmation for
Steffi and I.
But the Bible verse is found inMark 5, 36, and Jesus is talking

(22:25):
to Jairus but it says do not beafraid, only believe.
And this verse, what it meantto me at that time was you know
Steffi, first of all, she'sbeautiful.
Does she even like me?
You know, does she even like me?
Does she just think I am justthe family, you know friend?
You know, does she like me?

(22:46):
Does she just think I am justthe family friend?
Does she like me?
There's that normal, or maybeit's more normal for me guy
insecurity.
Then there's the.
I am older than her.
If I tell my brothers in Christ, they may not approve, her
parents may not approve, and soit's, it's a lot of fear, and so

(23:07):
this Bible verse may bemisapplied, you know.
But at the time do not beafraid to only believe.
And so I'm going to.
I want to point out later thatthat's probably the last time I
listened to the Bible verse,because all the decisions were
based out of fear.
You know I'm afraid.
I'm afraid what other peoplewill think.
I'm afraid, you know, why don'twe tell somebody?
You know, I think we're afraidthey're going to tell us to stop

(23:29):
or, you know, don't be alone.
Well, we want to be alone.
And so at some point, asStephanie mentioned, after
different singles events, atfirst, you know, being, you know
, maybe just being dumb itseemed like sometimes naturally
we'd kind of end up together youknow where, but it, you know, I

(23:50):
can't claim that too long,because then it started to end
up.
We are definitely don't want tospeak for her, but it was
evident that she definitely.
It seemed like the feelingswere mutual.
And so then there's a physicalelement that starts progressive.

(24:14):
You know it started with just,you know, our first kiss in her
car and then even that, I'm surethere's times, like you know,
we need to slow down, and thenit just kind of escalates, and
then let's ask forgiveness, andthen it escalates, and then at
some point I don't want to movefaster than you want us to move
here, but at some point we cross, you know, all lines and I know

(24:38):
the whole time.
I'm still the singles leader.
There's times where I'mteaching singles.
Again, I think therationalization is.
I ask forgiveness.
I feel bad.
I ask forgiveness, god forgaveme.
We're not going to do it again.
Then we do it again, and so thewhole time her and I are

(25:04):
obviously spending a lot of timetogether, but my heart is
getting colder, harder,spiritually speaking.
You know, you kind of feelyourself, your soul, dying.
You know the excitement thatsix months before, like the
Lord's really using me, he'sdoing a work in my life that's
gone away and it's and it'shardening.

(25:25):
I'm still going to church onthe outside, I'm single, like I
said, and I'm at Wednesday, I'mat Sunday, I'm at Sunday night.
I'm still.
I'm there all the time, butit's becoming a drudgery, it's
becoming just a very much anoutward activity.
Yeah, steph.

Speaker 4 (25:43):
So fast forwarding in February 2008,.
My period was late, so I madean appointment with my GP and it
was there that I found out thatI was pregnant.
And I made the appointmentright before work and I wanted

(26:07):
chad to be there.
But maybe, chad, you can saywhat happened, why you couldn't
make it looking back, we knowthe um, the lord.

Speaker 3 (26:18):
He of course is against you, know he.
He of course is against sin.
He doesn't tempt us, we knowthat, but at some point he
allows us to have theconsequences of our choices.
But at another point, in hisgrace and mercy, it's like
enough and he's going to exposethe situation.

(26:40):
And there is a sense ofhypocrisy I'm sharing and I know
that last night, or a week ago,stephanie and I were acting
totally inappropriate.
I'm still spending time withGeorge and Barbara, my favorite
people in the church, yet theyhave no idea what's going on,

(27:02):
and that kills a soul.
And so when she finds out thatthat her period, um, she missed
her period and obviously it'slooking like she's pregnant.
Uh, there there's also thisthere's a side of me that again
is very clueless and blinded bysin.
But at least this could be theend of the, the cover-up, and I

(27:24):
was teaching in Homestead atthat time.
And so when she had herappointment, it was after school
, and of course my heart'sbeating fast, I'm going to leave
school right away and whathappened was and I don't know if
it's happened before or since,but there is some huge power
outage citywide and so theschool will not dismiss the

(27:46):
students on time because theydon't want elementary school
kids, middle school kidscrossing streets where there's
no stoplights and so we get theword over the intercom, like you
got to hold on to your studentsand in my mind I was like I got
to leave and so it just addedto this insane tension that's
going on in me and I had to stayextra an hour or two.

(28:10):
There was no getting out ofthere and then, of course, as
soon as I could, I am speedingnorth to meet Steffi after her
appointment.
That already happened inKendall.
But you just looking back, andmaybe at the time I knew this
it's like I'm trying to holdthis together and it's like I'm
trying to hold this together andit's like you are fighting God,
you know.
You know God is gonna at thispoint you're just trying to you

(28:33):
know I don't know what hold thistogether and um, and there are
greater forces at work here, andand um, anyway, that's what it
felt like at the time you know,it sounds to me like it's.

Speaker 2 (28:45):
It's.
It's the beginning of like hey,you're not in control here yeah
you know I'm, I'm taking thewheel now, kind of thing.

Speaker 4 (28:51):
So, stephanie, please , um, so chad found me crying in
my car as I am soaking in thisnews.
Um, but then I had to honestlysuck it up and rush and go to
work like nothing happened.
So that was difficult.

Speaker 2 (29:21):
You were teaching, or was dance, or what?

Speaker 4 (29:24):
was work.
You were teaching, or was danceor what was work.
I was working at the front deskat a dance studio.
It's funny because I don'treally think about these moments
because it's been so long, andthen when I talk about it I get

(29:49):
emotional.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (29:54):
But what I wanted to say was Galatians 6, 7, for
whatever man sows, that he willalso reap.
Um.
So I had been sowing thissexual sin for a long time, not

(30:15):
just with Chad.
Um, like I had mentioned before, there was a strong pull.
My high school friends.
I was living for myself in highschool, I would lie to my
parents, I had different guyrelationships, so obviously this
had been sowing for some timenow.
And whom the Lord loves, hechastens, so he truly loves me,

(30:44):
and he just had this happen.
And when I found out, manydifferent ideas were running
through my mind, such as havingan abortion or giving the baby
up for adoption, or running awayor moving away, because

(31:07):
obviously I'm a young adult, Iam still finding my way.
I had many plans that I formyself.
I had many plans of what Iwanted to study, or visions of

(31:29):
what I thought my life wouldhave to work hard and reach
these different goals that I hadin mind.
And just, and how quickly allthat changed in in just one one

(31:49):
appointment with the doctor.
And then the doctor also wasadvocating for um, for um,
abortion, since she could tellthat I was very young and um,
and obviously that ran across mymind, but I would never, ever

(32:13):
have an abortion um, and so Iwas very heartbroken and it was
a lot to soak in.

Speaker 2 (32:26):
And Chad.
When you got there, what wereyou feeling?

Speaker 3 (32:30):
What were you thinking?
I think for me it was surreal.
I also think because of theblindness of sin, the hardening
of the heart, some of the things.
If I speak honestly, you knowit's.
I hate to use these, you knowhard words on the air for your

(32:50):
listeners, but you know I wasjust really just stupid.
And for her, for me I'mcomforting her, but I'm not as
devastated as her.
I haven't probably thought ofthe consequences.
I'm older.
For me, I'm closer to wantingto be married.

(33:11):
I haven't thought this throughat all.
And so for me, I'm comfortingher.
She's crying and that'sprobably.
It's hard to remembereverything at that point, but I
know I was not as distraught asshe was and you know in, you
know I can say it later.

(33:32):
You know I, I love her and youknow, but at that point I think
I love her and you know, maybethe actions don't line up, but
in my mind I love her and youknow hope, you know this could
lead to marriage, you know.
So I'm not as distraught.

Speaker 2 (33:47):
I mean, I think that's, and again so thankful
for you guys being willing toshare.
If you just tuned in while Igive Chad and Stephanie a moment
to breathe, they've been soopen with us and just bearing
their heart, telling their story, and there's still so much more
to tell the best parts, thebest parts.
I mean God's there through allof it, but, but the point is we

(34:07):
just tuned in.
This is god's way radio with,here, with.
We're here with our dear family, chad and stephanie, and
they're telling us their story,some of their story, all that
god has done.
And please stay tuned if youmissed any part of this, uh,
please, uh, connect with us.
Uh, you know, not knowingexactly when this is going to
air, we have some things in theworks.

(34:28):
We're trying to make all of ourinterviews available to you
online on demand for stream anddownload.
That may already be happeningby the time you hear this.
It's the tough part about radioand live radio and recording
these.
So just make sure to connectwith us.
Stay tuned with God's Way Radioso you can know when and how to

(34:48):
listen to this entireconversation.
But Chad and Steph I thinkthat's pretty common, right?
People?
Oh, we love.
We feel all this and I'm sureit'll work out and I love her.
I really love her.
Do I love her?
And just this swirl of emotionsand again, one of the reasons
I'm so thankful for you guyssharing that that you got to be
thoughtful, right.

(35:08):
You got to be careful.
You got to take things slow,right?
We know that the scripture,when it talks about love, right,
love protects, love rejoices.
In truth, it's not rejoicing inequity, right?
Do I love them?
Biblically right, and just Imean so many things we could
talk on on that subject.
So you went to work, youfinished your shift and then

(35:30):
what did you decide to do?

Speaker 4 (35:32):
um, then obviously it's this massive burden on both
me and chad's heart.
Um, I had a trip planned to gowith my sister to Orlando, so I
didn't say anything, I didn'ttell anybody, the trip went on

(35:52):
as planned.
This was probably the followingweekend I found out, but then
Chad took the responsibility totell my parents.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
But he also told a couple people first, yeah, so
one of the first things I didwas I talked to a brother in
Christ that I trusted andconfided in them.
Then that was a.
You know it's coming back.
You know that was a Saturdaynight and coming back.
You know that was a saturdaynight and you.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
You don't have to say who it is, but it was somebody
from the church.
Yes, somebody from the churchand the reason I asked that is
because, again, I think there'sthat temptation when something
like this happens, it's like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna talk to
someone, but you pick like thefurthest person right because
you're still trying to avoidconsequences.
But I think it's so importantthat you talk to someone that
was there in your lives.
I thought that was important.

(36:47):
But, forgive me, continue.
Yes.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Well, yeah, this, this guy is amazing and awesome,
and I won't uh, I'll say a fewnames, but not yet.
But to that point there weredifferent people speaking into
my life, so to speak, and eveninitially, the few people I tell
you there was different advicegiven and, of course, the few
people I tell you there wasdifferent advice given.
And of course there's someadvice that you know downplays

(37:10):
things or you know there's theway out of this.
You got to get married and, andso there's some advice.
Obviously I'm going to likebetter than others, but I tell
him he's like you have to tellAdrian who I'm serving under,
and so the next day is Sunday,and after the service then I

(37:32):
tell Pastor Adrian and PastorChris who I was both serving
under, and I remember tellingthem at the park and just how,
you know, you could just see thesadness, the heartbreak, the
you know, I don't know if thedisappointment, but for my

(37:54):
initial reaction of what I couldperceive and you know I haven't
mentioned this to them to thisday, you know.
So I don't really knoweverything they were thinking,
but you know I could see theirlove and just disappointment on
what's happened and the sin thathas happened and how the enemy
has obviously wrecked thisrelationship, and I could see

(38:18):
their love and then their nextadvice that, as I recall, was
you know I need to tell PastorRaz, and so that Sunday night I
go to church and I so, as wasthe senior pastor of Calvary
chapel, Miami.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
Founding pastor.

Speaker 3 (38:31):
Yeah, pastor, yes, that's correct.
And and uh, I remember, youknow, just crying out to the
Lord during the whole serviceand in the Lord.
You know he was already working, like Steffi said.
You know he, he chastens whomhe loves.
The chastening was beginning Toact like the line between me
and God was clear, would not beaccurate.

(38:53):
But at this point I am seekingthe Lord and so I sensed that I
also need to obviously tellGeorge and Barbara, steffi's
parents.
But after the service, chris andAdrian bring Pastor Raz to the
back and I tell Pastor Raz andyou know I'll never forget.
You know I don't want to putimplications that weren't there

(39:18):
or put words in people's mouth,but obviously, you know, here
you have myself, you know,looking back maybe you know I
look at myself as a buffoon, youknow, and here I bring this
upon a pastor who started thechurch, who loved the Lees.
He led them to the Lord.

(39:38):
He'd known the Lees much longerthan he'd known this guy from
Nashville, tennessee, and theway he was so clear to say I
love you.
I remember him saying I loveyou, chad, and then I remember
him wanting to be there when Itold George and Barbara and I

(40:00):
just sensed that it's somethingI had to do myself.
And I just sensed that it'ssomething I had to do myself.
And again, pastor Raz, morethan me, probably knew the
gravity of the situation.
More than me he knew maybe aresponse that could come from
George and Barbara or how itcould hit them, him as a parent,

(40:21):
him as a pastor, him as someonewho's walking with the Lord.
But I just sensed I got to tellGeorge and Barbara on my own.
And so he honored that.
I heard later that he was inthe neighborhood.
He was, you know, ready to comeover if you needed.
You know, if things got ugly,you know, but I go, I schedule,

(40:42):
I scheduled time with George andBarbara and I could, I think at
that point I could see inGeorge's eyes that he knew, okay
, something's up and I again, Ican read into minds, I know what
I perceive, but you know thatmay not be fair to him.
So I knew, I felt like he knewthat, okay, something's going on
.
But I don't think they knew,you know what exactly was going

(41:06):
on.
But so they have me over andthey greet me graciously.
I remember going to the bathroomand just looking in the mirror
and praying and splashing somewater on my face and, you know,
knowing that they don't know howtheir life is about to change.
And so then, um, I remembertelling them, you know, as

(41:26):
they're sitting on the couch andI, I kind of went into some
things, uh, my past and, youknow, told them some things
about me, and then I, you know,told them the steps, uh, what
you know, stephanie and I, andthen I got to the point where
Stephanie's pregnant and again,I'll never forget, you know,

(41:47):
their somewhat initial responsesof.
Also, you know, I cannotimagine, I cannot imagine being
in their shoes and how.
Maybe it's the prayers ofPastor Raz and Pastor Chris and
Adrian.
It's a testament to George andBarbara and their relationship
with the Lord.

(42:08):
But you know, I can tell therewas tension, I can tell there
was some awkwardness, I can tellthey're fighting, maybe some
raw emotion, but what they toldme was love, what they shared
was love, and you know it'sgoing to be okay.
And how they were, you know youcould.
You could tell they wanted tolove on their daughter, who was

(42:28):
in Orlando at the time, and so Ileft that meeting with a huge
sense of relief.
I remember calling a collegefriend who did love the Lord and
it was praying for me, and justtold him, you know, almost like
whoosh it went better than Iever thought.
And so I kind of drive off andI know that was the Lord, it was

(42:51):
God, but the general lack ofunderstanding on my part, even
to this day, to me, is egregious.
I almost want to get in a timemachine and tackle that guy, uh.
But so so that's where that stepyeah um left and, and I want to

(43:11):
get to what happens next, Idon't know.

Speaker 2 (43:12):
Stephanie wants to chime in did you know he was
meeting with them while you'rein orlando?
You know?

Speaker 4 (43:18):
so I was on my way home from orlando and I know
that that Chad was meeting withmy parents and it just it
blesses my heart to hear thatthat Pastor Raz was in the
vicinity did you not know that?
I didn't know that, um, andbecause Pastor Raz and my dad,

(43:38):
they're like bosom buddies andthey're literally twins and just
the just looking out for my dadis so sweet, because as a
parent now, if I heard news likethat I would just go ballistic.
Um, but as I come home to myparents, chad has already left,

(44:01):
I'm on my way in and they just,they just embraced me when I got
home that night.
It was clear that they hatedthe sin, but they still loved me

(44:23):
and I did endure a very longlecture that George Lee is known
for and I had grown uplistening to many times, but it
was the longest lecture I'veever had in my life.
In my life, um, and so movingon of telling and breaking the

(45:25):
news to the other pastors also,but just the response from the
church elders towards both meand Chad obviously was very
heartbreaking and disappointing,but it's just amazing how much
they just cared about myrelationship with the Lord.

Speaker 3 (45:54):
There's about a week and a half there on our end,
uncertainty how everyone's goingto respond or what's going to
happen next, how everyone'sgoing to respond or what's going
to happen next.
And again there was some partof me that's like okay.
So now I'm.
There's a challenge here.
Steffi's pregnant.
I'm going to move in and handlethis the best I can.

(46:14):
And I remember, and I'm goingto, I'm going to try to fast
forward to what I think a veryimportant meeting with the
pastors.
But I remember buying prenatalvitamins and you know, almost
like I'll just go over theleaves like normal.
And I remember calling, I thinkBarbara or she called me and
was like hey, I'm coming over,and it was kind of the first

(46:37):
kind of you know, just so on myend, so blind, so ignorant, so
dumb, to sin, if you will.
But my first kind of re rebuff,if you will, where she's like I
don't think it's a good time.
We're really having a hard time.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
Like a reality check.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yeah, the first reality check and uh, and I
can't remember if we madearrangements I'll drop them off
or we'll get it from you atchurch or something.
But as I was driving on theturnpike to Homestead where I
was living at that time and Idon't want to, you know there's
so much that happened the nextmonths and I don't want to sound

(47:17):
too mystical, but I just sensedthe Lord's presence in my car
like maybe I never have in mylife and it wasn't good.
It was the fear of the Lord.
And later that night I believeI was in my Bible and a Bible
verse that just stuck out to mewas Psalms 1826, which says With

(47:41):
the pure you will show yourselfpure.
With the devious you will showyourself shrewd, for you will
save the humble people, but youwill bring down haughty looks.
And you know again, it's hardto describe and I don't want to,
you know, extrapolate things,but there's just a sense in me

(48:02):
like this is the Lord's daughter.
This isn't going to be what youthink and maybe you're done
with controlling this situationand just the Lord, dealing with
me in that way, prepared me forwhat was to come and again

(48:23):
fast-forwarding some individual,different conversations with
different people.
But it was a Wednesday nightwhere I think Pastor Chris had
called me and was like hey, wewant to meet with you before the
service.
And so I remember going to thechurch offices and I knock on
the door.
He greets me and I can justtell from his eyes it's not the
normal greeting, you know where.

(48:43):
I'm always revert back to niceguy Chad and a smile, and I can
just tell from his eyes it's notthe normal greeting.
I'm always revert back to niceguy Chad and a smile and I can
tell this isn't.
I think he knew what was coming, but anyway.
So I go into the church andevery pastor on staff is in
there, including my Steffi's dad, george Lee, and I.

(49:06):
You know, it's one of those,these moments I'll never forget
and I hope you know I do itjustice and you know those guys
that were there, you know Idon't know what they remember
and I don't know what Pastor Razremembers, but to my
recollection he did.
Pastor Raz did the majority ofthe talking.
But I look back and I'm just soblessed by Pastor Raz who about

(49:33):
a week and a half time wentbetween when I first told him
and this meeting.
Maybe it was two weeks, but itshows to me that Pastor Raz
sought the Lord, the pastorsought the Lord and nothing was
done quickly or in haste andsome of the things that stuck

(49:55):
out to me were he.
He started breaking down my sinand do you know how this
affects the youth that youminister to?
And he mentioned people by nameand I won't do that, but of how
this could affect these youth,and he mentioned by name and how
it could affect these youththat look up to you.

(50:16):
He mentioned George and Barbaraand how their dreams for Steffi
and her wedding and just what Idid was disastrous, and I

(50:36):
remember this one phrase sticksout, but he specifically said
he's like I don't know howBarbara Lee can stand.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
No, of course, of course.

Speaker 3 (50:49):
He said you know, I don't know how Barbara Lee can
stand being in the same roomwith you.
And you know, again, I want tokind of collect myself for the
sake of my radio voice here.
But you know, fast forward tohere.
But you know, fast forward tohead.
You know, I, I love barbara lee, I love george lee.
They're my father-in-law, if wehaven't gotten that out yet, my

(51:11):
mother-in-law.
But even now to think about, youknow, I I can't.
We just went to vacationtogether.
You know, I can't imagine, likeyou know, remember the time
where I almost destroyed youguys lives.
You know, I can't.
You know, even now it's like,yeah, I really don't want to
talk about this, and so it is atestament to the Lord.

(51:32):
But the whole point I'm tryingto get through is, for the first
time in my life, god usedPastor Raz like stop and think
about the consequences of yoursin, man.
Do you think about the rippleeffect that this could have to
all the people in the church, tothese people that have taken
you into their home, that haveloved you?

(51:54):
And I also know how hementioned how the enemies of God
, satan, has used this toblaspheme the name of God and
how that just stung.
I remember him saying do younot even fear the Lord?
And how that stung.

(52:15):
And uh, you know it's justanyway.
I know God used the pastors,and especially Pastor Rez, and I
know for him this had to be, upto that point, one of the most
difficult things in his ministry, I would presume.
But anyway, I'm so grateful andI'm so thankful to have a
pastor that spent the time, whowasn't afraid to confront, and

(52:40):
he did it in such a way that itstung, um, and thankfully fruit
came from that.
And then I remember theconversation ending with him
just flat out asking me in frontof these guys, do you love
stuffy?
In front of her dad, and youknow, for a guy who, who was
driven so much by fear, you knowwhat are they going to think?
Uh, you know who was driven somuch by fear, what are they

(53:02):
going to think?
They'll never agree with this.
I remember I don't know if thiswas the one manly thing I did
up to this point, but I lookedat him and I said I do.
I love Steffi, but I can seehow no one would believe it at
this point.
And he goes what do you mean?
And I said my actions obviouslydo not show that I love her.

(53:24):
And then it was told to me andyou know there are reasons and I
you know for sake of time Iwon't get into them all, but
looking back, I agree with everysingle one of the reasons.
It was best that I leave thechurch and I think it was said
for a time, but in a sense therewas no timetable given.
You know it could have been andI don't think they said this,

(53:46):
but it could have been.
You need to leave the church.
You know it was indefinitelyand there were reasons given and
I can.
You know some of the reasons.
You know there's a lot ofpeople that obviously, when this
comes out, there's some thatalready know family members,
that know there's a lot ofemotions and you know it's best

(54:09):
for everybody you probably notto be here.
It also, you know he you knowagain I don't want to talk too
much because he did a better jobthan I'm doing retelling it and
I know he pulled scripture ofCorinthians and someone caught
in sexual immorality and the wayPaul prescribed.
So that Wednesday I shut thedoor, not knowing when I would

(54:32):
ever step foot on Calvary Chapel, miami, also knowing I was not
going to see Steffi for a verylong time.
Any interaction would be donethrough texting her father or
speaking to her father, butPastor Reza did not leave me
just out there in the wind.
We scheduled times where I wasgoing to meet weekly with Pastor

(54:53):
Chris and Pastor Adrian, andthen I was going to attend
another local, calvary Chapelchurch, and I do before.
You know, I don't know if youwant to, Steffi wants to talk or
you want to take it anotherdirection, but that Wednesday
night I was at a differentchurch and I don't remember.
I was broken, I was distraught,I was an emotional train wreck

(55:17):
and I don't remember a word thepastor said, but at this point I
had already begun seeking theLord and asking for forgiveness,
and I remember a phrase thatthe Lord just spoke so clear in
my heart and he said though youhurt me the most, I am the first

(55:40):
to forgive.
I am the first to forgive andjust to have that feeling you
know again whether it was rightor not, but the feeling it's
like man, there's a lot ofpeople that are angry at you,
there's a lot of people thatcan't stand you, and rightfully
so.
And here's the Lord telling meI've forgiven you and I'll never

(56:07):
forget that.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
Yeah, family, you need to mark your calendar.
You need to make sure you catchpart two.
We didn't plan it this way, butthere's so much to share.
And I do want to conclude withthis.
You know, steph, if you want tojust say something briefly,

(56:29):
just you know, I don't know, Idon't know.
I mean, there's so much, Idon't know how you could do that
.
But I just wanted to say, foranyone listening, we've already
heard so much of God's grace andgoodness, so it's not like we
only gave you the bad part orsomething like that, but it's
almost like we're in the middlehere, man.
This is like getting to thetoughest point and now we're

(56:50):
going to see how God starts toredeem and again raise up those
who humble themselves.
But Stephanie just did want togive you the opportunity to
briefly.
You know, as this goes out intothe world, it's probably going
to be a first half and a secondhalf.
If you wanted to make anycomments here in the end of the
first half.

Speaker 4 (57:12):
This is just the beginning of a very long and
beautiful story story.
There's the this whole processof restoration and
reconciliation.
That happens, but it is a toughstory, probably very relatable.

(57:34):
But above all, God is on thethrone and he just loves Chad
and I very much and he wanted usto return to him desperately.
So this is just part of ourstory on our road back to our

(57:58):
first love, which is the Lord.

Speaker 2 (58:02):
Thank you for tuning in to God's Way Radio.
We're here with Chad andStephanie Bogey, and if you
heard the first part of ourconversation then you, like all
of us, we've been waitingeagerly to hear the rest of the
story.
If you're hearing this for thefirst time, you got to catch the
first half.
Chad and Steph just told usabout just what the Lord's done

(58:25):
in their life, their upbringing.
You know Stephanie her parentscoming to church Well, just her,
her sister and her mom for atime.
And then God getting a hold ofher dad's heart and Chad growing
up in a Christian home, prayingat three years old to commit
his life to Christ, and the upsand downs that come with our
walk with the Lord and growingin him.
And then they led us into theirlife and, in detail, just went

(58:49):
into a bomb that went off, anissue of sexual morality, a
testimony of failure, of sin andreally feeling the effects of
it.
You know, just recapping hereagain, stephanie shared her
heart with us, the hopes anddreams that she had as a young
girl, 19, a young adult, justjust looking all forward.

(59:13):
And and now, what do I do?
I'm pregnant and uh, you knowchad and only a way he could
talk about himself, the, the.
You know he used the word thestupidity at the time, not
realizing what had happened.
And now we're going to jumpback into it.
Chad is going to another church.
He accepted the cards that weredealt to him.

(59:36):
He was asked to take some timeand some space, some time and
some space, and so he's the lastone we heard from.
And now we're going to jumpback into it and check in with
Steph on what was going on onher side at this time.
So, stephanie, did you knowabout this meeting that was
happening at the church office?
What was going on while Chadwas having this conversation,

(59:59):
asked to step away for a timefrom the church?

Speaker 4 (01:00:03):
I don't remember this meeting happening.
What I do remember is showingup to church on Sunday hoping to
get a glimpse of Chad and thennot seeing him at all and then
finding out at church that hewould not be returning to

(01:00:24):
Calvary, miami, with notimetable in sight, and that
just broke my heart.
I think I just I probably droveto church on my own if my
parents were serving, so I justgot out of there and I left
really quick and I was justsuper angry, I was sad, I was

(01:00:47):
crying, I was um, just fearfuland stressed and I just I had no
idea what was going to happenand how things were gonna gonna
look um the next, what the nextum months were gonna gonna look
um the next, what the next ummonths were gonna look like um

(01:01:08):
for me, um.
But then I had a meeting myselfwith Chris and Adrian um, and
they it was recommended to methat that they were to start
meeting with me weekly.
I also met with Alicia weeklyjust going through scripture and

(01:01:32):
practically they were like howI said before, they obviously
were super disappointed andheartbroken towards our whole
situation, but they honestlyjust cared about my relationship
with the Lord.
So those meetings, obviously myheart wasn't always in the best

(01:01:53):
place, like I don't really wantto go to these meetings.
I don't really want to sit hereand read the Bible right now,
here and read the Bible rightnow.
But I felt so like at the mercyof anybody, of anything,
because I just felt likepractically dirt.
So I met, started meeting withthem.

(01:02:15):
They would go through scripturewith me and it was like they
were practically spoon feedingthe word to me.
It's like I was, it's like Iwas a little child and I didn't
even know how to read my Bibleanymore and I didn't know how to
hear from him anymore.
And it's just so gracious andmerciful that they would take
the time each week to meet withme, to feed the word to me, to

(01:02:41):
remind me of God's goodness, hisgrace and His mercy towards me.
And just what a beautifultestimony on their part just to
be able to do that For me, forsomebody who's wreaking havoc in
the church and feeling veryhumbled to have them as people I

(01:03:08):
could glean from and look up to.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
No, that's awesome.
And again, the clarity right.
Looking back, right, I feltthis way at that time, but now
looking back, seeing the fruitof it, being thankful for it.
So again, just giving you guyskind of the reins here.
What do you want to share next?
What happens next?
Chad, you're at a differentchurch.
Stephanie, you're pregnant,your baby is developing, growing

(01:03:37):
.
Maybe people were asking youquestions, chad, what you're
going through.
Whoever kind of wants to takeus to?
What is going on next?

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
Well, so I started attending a different church and
you know, looking back again,when you're going through this
situation, in some ways you'reinsecure, you don't?
You know, obviously everybodyhas a right to be angry with me,
you know, but it's hard to.

(01:04:09):
I'm sure I didn't fullynecessarily embrace that all the
pastors had my best interest inmind, because I can understand
how they just might not.
Where I was the perpetrator, Iwas the.
You know it was my sin thatcaused this mess.
But I look back and man, I justI know they did.

(01:04:33):
I know, when I went to the newchurch the pastor just embraced
me from the beginning and hedidn't know that much.
You know, pastor Raz, they werenot.
You know, I thought maybe theywould tell everybody about my
you know what this guy did.
It wasn't the case.
And then I was meeting Adrianand Chris, also once a week.

(01:04:55):
It was, I remember so clearly.
You know this Cuban restaurant.
I would drive from Homesteadand meet them around four
o'clock I think.
And I remember once Pastor Reztelling me too he was at a
meeting and he was just tellingme you know, adrian and Chris,
their hearts are golden and soinsecure at the time, thinking

(01:05:24):
obviously, because my heartisn't.
Is that why he's telling me?
But I know he was telling methat because, man, their hearts
were golden.
You know they love me, theywere there to help me, they were
there to be God's instrument,to draw, build me up in the Word
of God, back to the Lord.
And those meetings with Chrisand Adrian, you know they're
priceless and they were gettingme into the Word.

(01:05:44):
And you know, hey, read this.
They're telling me what to do.
To some degree of, read thissection, then next week, write,
you know, tell us what the Lordshowed you.
After every service that Iattended at the different church
, I was to write notes and bringthem, and so in some ways it
seems so elementary, but inother ways it got me back on the

(01:06:07):
path of hearing from the Lord.
And I don't want to again feelfree to interject, I don't want
to just take the full reins here.

Speaker 2 (01:06:15):
Well, one thing I would interject is we haven't
used the Christianese yet, butwhat was happening is
restoration.
Right, god was restoring you,you know.
I I think that if you'relistening, you know so much
changes church, church culture,the way churches do, thing.
But this is a testimony, notthe only one, not the only way,

(01:06:39):
but a testimony of of whatpractically what restoration
looks like.
I think and we don't have to goon a whole commentary here you,
we want to get back to yourstory, your testimony.
But I think that some peopleexpect restoration to be fast.
I think that some people seethings online the internet,
video, celebrity church, allthis guys, restoration is god's

(01:07:02):
business, god's timing, god'srules, god's way and uh, that's
what we're talking about.
But uh, back back to the storywell, I, I also.

Speaker 3 (01:07:13):
I look back.
You know, I think of, uh, chrisand adrian and pastor, as you
know, the heartache I causedthem, the um, I'm sure on the
side that I couldn't see themdealing with people at church.
They had to.
You know, at some point theyhave to break it to the youth
group, they have to break it tothe young adults group.
They have to tell certainpeople.
They got to deal with certainpeople and you know I caused

(01:07:36):
them so much again, heartbreak,and you know inconvenience is
not the right word, but and yetthey showed me so much love.
You know, those two guys andthose three guys, you know,
showed me so much love.
But as this is starting, and I'm, I'm not have any interaction
in church anymore.
I have no social life becauseit was all around church.

(01:07:59):
I just begin and again, this isthe grace of God, just seeking
the Lord like never before.
And at some point I think Icome to the realization.
You know you have two choiceshere.
The one is this train wreckcould just get worse.
I mean, you could go off intooblivion and I don't know what

(01:08:22):
that would be, or you just putall your eggs in one basket and
trust the Lord on this.
And I also remember, by God'sgrace just maybe he showed me
these two things.
I kind of made a resolution Allthese interactions I have, I'm
going to take fullresponsibility for my sin, don't
ever breathe an excuse.
And the other one is don't feelsorry for yourself.

(01:08:44):
Do not feel sorry for yourself.
And I remember there were othervoices speaking to me, you know
college friends, and eventuallyChris and Adrian.
They told me you may want toget a new phone number, which I
did.
There was also the temptation,you know, I got to call Steffi,
also the temptation, you know, Igot to call Steffi, steffi, and
I argue about this.
But the first week I was away,I know she did call me and she

(01:09:07):
wasn't supposed to.
I didn't answer it, but thatwas a temptation.
So I did get a new phone number.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
I remember talking to again a call.
I wish people could see thisstudio right now, just to
lighten.
Stephanie, do you want tointerject?

Speaker 4 (01:09:25):
He says that I called him, but I don't think I did.

Speaker 3 (01:09:28):
It was on my.
I could see on my phone it washer phone number.

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
He still has the screen.
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
He screenshotted.

Speaker 3 (01:09:35):
now I'm just kidding, but I changed my phone number.
I remember there was a coupleof college friends that I talked
to a lot, and one again wasthat sympathetic it's not that,
you know, almost it's not thatbig of a deal and uh, you know,
I changed my number and I didnot talk to them for a long time
.
I just couldn't Um.

Speaker 2 (01:09:54):
And then there was another college friend, man, I
gotta again I gotta interjectbecause that takes such
ownership.
And again, I know that you wantthe credit to go to the Lord,
both of you guys, chad andStephanie, you want to give all
the honor and all the credit toJesus Christ.
But again, we're just lookingat so much, and so much of this
is practical help, insight forpeople that need to hear it.

(01:10:16):
You know that takes suchownership and such courage and
such boldness to say you knowwhat that voice is, not from the
Lord.
I'm not going to listen to that.
I'm going to totally cut youoff, man.
I hope people are listening.
I mean, that's so important.
So important because I thinkagain in our day and age,
there's just this whatever it is, oh yeah, you should, no, you

(01:10:38):
should feel sorry for yourself.
No, you are entitled to thisand it's just, it's not the way
I think of the Lord.
So again, sorry interjecting,but, chad, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:10:48):
Okay, yes, yeah.
So I changed my number and Idid have to put out those
influences that were not givingme, you know, pointing me to the
Lord, and that also, again, Iwant to be careful because this
I don't want to have a.
You know, do these five thingsif you're in this place and this
was just a natural reactionthat the Lord did in me.

(01:11:11):
But even you know, I wasn'twatching television anymore, I
just couldn't.
My stomach was in knots.
I wasn't on the internet justsurfing around, my stomach was
in knots, you know, I wasn't onthe internet just surfing around
, my stomach was in knots.
There's so much that we couldgo into and I don't want to.
This could go on too long.

(01:11:35):
But from my perspective, myworld was destroyed and it was
destroyed because of my sin.
And I think, even back to itwas much more than just Steffi's
parents and my uh, thankfullyfuture sister-in-law and
brother-in-law.
But, um, I used to spend a lotof time with her cousin's family
.
I used to play with their,their children, which are now,
you know, they're, I won't say,all grown up now and and that it

(01:11:56):
the relation was over, it wasdone.
You know, there there's nointeraction that you know the
list of.
You know consequences, and somy life is a mess.
There's one chance here.
It's to seek the Lord, and oneof the first Bible verses that
the God really spoke to me atthe other church I was attending
was it came from Luke, chapter24, verse 5.

(01:12:20):
From Luke, chapter 24, versefive.
And this is when Jesus was.
He's going to, he resurrected,and the women are going to the
tomb on the first day of theweek and they meet an angel
there and the angel says to themwhy do you seek the living
among the dead?
And the way the Lord used thatverse in my life was well, those

(01:12:40):
women, you know, if you were toask them, do they believe in
Jesus?
Of course they do.
Do they believe everything hesaid?
Of course they do.
Well then, why were theysearching in the one place?
He said he would not be and theLord showed me.
You know, you say you believethe Bible.
You say you know you're aChristian and all your actions
deny that.
Your actions, you know the 1Corinthians, 5, 19 to 20,.

(01:13:06):
You know, do not know.
Your body is the temple of theHoly Spirit.
You're bought with a price.
You are not your own and thewhole life I'm living defies
that.
And it's amazing too, wherethis verse cuts so deep.
But it was not condemnation.
Suddenly there was this likepossibilities.
It's like, wow, what if I startbelieving the word?
What if I start applying theword?

(01:13:26):
Like we can start moving hereand the word after that verse
just started to really comealive to me.
And then simultaneously, this isin the month of March and you
know, I will say unequivocallythis is the worst month of my
life.
But I don't want to say this ishow the Lord dealt with me and
I, you know, I don't even wantto.

(01:13:47):
I don't know where to give thecredit, you know.
But another strange occurrencethat was happening in the month
of March was Bible verses aboutbeing single started to just
come up all the time.
And the verses in Corinthianswhere Paul talks about where it
is better to be single, thatwould come up all the time.
And the verses in Corinthianswhere Paul talks about where it
is better to be single, thatwould come up.
Verses where Jesus talked aboutbeing a eunuch or being single,

(01:14:12):
it would come up Somebodygiving a testimony about being
single.
And so I started to, as I'mseeking the Lord spending time,
and it's almost like two thingsare going on at once the Lord's
rebuilding my love for the wordI'm drawing closer, and then
this word that I may be singlethe rest of my life.

(01:14:33):
And I even remember just almosthaving these like day vision
dreams of the future of Steffi,of the baby who's now growing up
and I'm not the husband, andjust kind of getting to this
point where it's like, you know,we jumped the gun.
Who's to say that Lord calledme?

(01:14:53):
With Steffi there's a realpossibility I am not going to be
with her and that God has otherplans for her.
He has other plans for me.
And as that started to become avery real thing, the Lord was
purifying my heart, he waspurifying my motives.
And I remember one night itculminated.

(01:15:15):
You know, I was spending so muchtime with the Lord and I would
go on walk, I would walk milesand I'd cry out to the Lord.
I'd go to the park all daySaturday, I'd cry out to the
Lord, and it culminated onenight.
I remember it was like four inthe morning and I'm just on my
knees and you know, lord, areyou going to?
You know, am I going to be withSteffi and the it just he

(01:15:37):
really spoke to my spirit andsaid you know, deny yourself,
take up your cross and follow me.
And I, you know so clear to meand I took that as no, you're
not going to be with Steffi.
And I remember the next daytrying to get a hold of Pastor
Raz calling him.
Thankfully he didn't answerthat time because I wanted to

(01:15:59):
tell him.
You know, I got a word, youknow we can kind of move forward
in this sense, god's not goingto bring us together.
I remember calling my mom and Ibelieve I told her somewhat
that and she just kind ofencouraged me to keep seeking
the Lord and in my mind I hadmoved to this place where, okay,

(01:16:21):
he's not going to bring ustogether.
In my mind I had moved to thisplace where, okay, he's not
going to bring us together.
And then the one friend Ialluded to, who loved the Lord,
he was actually a missionary inIndonesia.
He wasn't at that time but heis currently.
I called him and I rememberlike I finally get to this place
where it's like, okay, theLord's not going to bring us
together.
I'm going with the Lord.

(01:16:41):
Whatever happens, I'm going tolive for the Lord, no, not going
to bring us together.
I'm going with the Lord,whatever happens.
I'm going to live for the Lord,no matter what.
And I remember him telling mewell, the Lord could be doing a
Abraham Isaac thing here and Iwas so mad at him because what
that did was it opened thepossibility like maybe he's
still going to bring youtogether with Steffi, and I

(01:17:01):
didn't want to hear that becauseI needed some sort of a move in
this direction.
And anyway, he did that and Iwas upset about it.
But the Lord started doinganother work and you know, once
he kind of purified thosemotives.
You know, this isn't about meand Steffi right now, it's about
me and him.
And can you seek me, no matterwhat, no matter what happens,

(01:17:23):
can you seek me for me?
And that was the trajectory ofmy relation with him.
The other thing I wanted topoint out, as it comes to my
mind, is I sought him and Iasked for forgiveness.
I asked him for cleansing forwhat I did the sexual sin but he
started bringing up sins fromelementary school.
He started bringing up sinsfrom elementary school.
He started bringing up sinsfrom middle school and high

(01:17:45):
school and college and when Ihad lived in other states and
and, and he started bringingthese things up and, uh, you
know, I would just sit for hoursand he would the Lord would
bring up stuff.
I will confess it, I will getcleansed, and I just heard a
pastor even today on God's WayRadio talk about how, you know,

(01:18:07):
our heart is compared to agarden in multiple places in the
Bible and how sometimes we justmow the weeds down but they're
not pulled out, they're nottaken out, and the Lord used
this time along with him, I know, without a doubt to rip out
things that had been there for avery long time, and I am so

(01:18:28):
thankful for that.
And sexual sins that I hadforgotten about, that he brought
up.
And again, it wasn't to condemn, it was to cleanse.
And there began a work in me ofcleansing, of freedom, of a
desire of purity, uh, like Inever had in my entire life, of

(01:18:50):
a place I thought I'd never go.
You know, I thought there'dalways.
I'd always be kind of umhaunted by these sins of the
past.
I'll always be haunted by thesethings that happen in various
stages of my life.
And the lord did, did a work inme in those months of March,
april, into May where he justreally ripped those out by the
roots.

Speaker 2 (01:19:11):
Oh man, awesome, Awesome, stephanie.
So what's going on on your endyour meeting, you know now
you're what?
Three months pregnant, fourmonths pregnant, end of summer,
if I have my timetable correctly.
Um, you know, is there anythingelse to say from that season?
Well, you know, I know,eventually, you, you, you guys
wanted to speak, you, he wantedto be involved at least with,

(01:19:35):
with his son, and so what, whatwas happening getting to that
point, for you.

Speaker 4 (01:19:42):
Well, the news came out in February, so we're about
in March and April, and duringMarch and April I felt very
depressed and felt very lonely,but really, what had been
brought out of Chad washappening to me too.

(01:20:03):
I had to regain and remend therelationship with my parents.
So that was already in itselfdifficult just being pregnant in
my room by myself, living withmy parents just some awkward
days, myself living with myparents just some awkward days,

(01:20:29):
um and um.
If I, if Chad was current,current, if we, if I was still
able to communicate with Chad atthis time, or if I was still
talking to Chad, it would havejust been, um, a total
distraction.
So, looking back, what a hugeblessing it was just that we had
this time apart to really focuson our relationship with the
Lord.
And it was only until Aprilwhere I started to realize of

(01:20:56):
how many other sins that Ineeded to ask for forgiveness.
And so I sat down with myparents and I started sharing to
them some other things that Ihad done and just crying out to
them and asking them forforgiveness.
And it wasn't until after thatmoment where I felt so much

(01:21:19):
freer and a burden was liftedand, honestly, my eyes just
opened up at that point.
Finally, a spiritual maturityof light bulb just turned on at
that point and I wanted to readProverbs 28, 13.
It says Whoever conceals histransgressions will not prosper,

(01:21:41):
but he who confesses andforsakes them will obtain mercy.
And my parents were just theperfect picture of Christ's love
towards me and how mercifulthey were with me, along with
super long lectures with me.

(01:22:09):
Along with super long lectures,but just the process of
restoration with my relationshipwith the Lord, restoration with
my parents' relationship, and,moving along the story, my belly
is growing but amazingly I wasnot.
Everybody in the church hadknown at this point, only the
leaders and um.
So it wasn't until june that itwas recommended to us that a

(01:22:37):
church family meeting would becalled, and so june, I believe
I'm about six months, so I wasable to hide it from the church,
with the church not knowingwhat was going on for about six
months.
So Chad and I both wrote theseapologetic letters that we had

(01:22:58):
prepared, that we had prepared,and it wasn't until that it was
a Friday night, nobody knowsexactly what's going to be
happening or shared.
They kind of like advertisedthe meeting in a sense, like
we're going to be talking about,like the new church building

(01:23:21):
and property plans and someother things and I'm just like
in the back cry room dreadingthis.

Speaker 2 (01:23:30):
Was Chad there for the meeting.

Speaker 4 (01:23:33):
Chad was there and this is like the first time that
I am seeing him in the cornerof my eye.
So, moving on, I read my letter.
Chad goes on stage.
I read.
He read his tears.
There was like dead silence.
Tears are being shed left andright.

(01:23:55):
Um, and it was an interestingnight.
But I had felt so much love andgrace from the church.
Some ladies would come up to meand they were just blessed how,

(01:24:22):
how brave I was and they wouldshare, how that they themselves
had actually gone gone throughan abortion and had gone through
, um a similar situation likemine, and how they were just

(01:24:43):
trying to encourage me, how theywere blessed that I was not
going that route and that I waskeeping the baby.
And that night was just.
It was a lot was said thatnight, but it was just like it
broke my heart because I knowthat my, what I'm sharing to

(01:25:06):
them, is disappointing so manypeople and and you never know
how much sin can affect um, likeChad was saying this ripple
effect and how much.
And it's not.
It wasn't until that momentwhere I physically saw how much

(01:25:28):
these people really cared for me.
They hated the sin, but theystill still loved me.

Speaker 2 (01:25:33):
Wow, you know that that's amazing.
Again, that detail you knowbecause if you just tuned in to
God's Way Radio, if you justtuned into our conversation,
it's repeated.
You know, when Steph firstfound out she was pregnant, she
shared with us in the first halfof our conversation how every
thought ran through her mind,including abortion.

(01:25:55):
She explained how she quicklydismissed it.
You know, I'm not going to gothere.
I'm not going go there, notgonna do that.
But for it to come up again, uh, just the, the miracle and the
grace, uh, that, uh, your sonwas born and would be, uh, born
again.
I think it's such an importantissue, the sanctity of life, um,

(01:26:17):
getting to your son being born.
If there's anything else to sayfrom from that time of
pregnancy or leading up to it,for sure fill us in.
But we want to get toeventually that.
But Chad, yes.

Speaker 3 (01:26:31):
Well, just so.
Steffi took us up to June, butI do think there's a few
important things I want tomention that lead me up to June.
But so the month of again, themonth of March, I would say, was
the worst month in my life andit's interesting because the
Lord was doing a work in all ofmy life.
And there were other areas ofmy life.

(01:26:51):
My finances were off the way.
I spent money.
I remember I had an expireddriver's license and I didn't
have car insurance and and that,could you know, I make that
right and I still have thepicture of my driver's license
that I took in early March andit is the saddest picture I've
ever seen and it's just.

(01:27:13):
I couldn't betray what was goingon in my heart and I remember
part of.
I remember Pastor Chris andAdrian saying you need to take
some time to mourn over yoursins, and I definitely the Lord
was doing that work.
And I also remember, as I gotmore accustomed to the new

(01:27:33):
church, there was one particular.
They were having a Saturdaypotluck or something and somehow
Pastor Chris called me and heknew I was going to go.
Maybe I told him or something.
He's just like I think youshouldn't go.
It's kind of a social thingwhat the Lord's doing in you
right now.
I think you shouldn't go.
And I look back at somethinglike that and it's like, oh,

(01:27:56):
come on, I look back now and I'mso grateful.
I'm so thankful that they werethere to keep me laser focused,
allowing the Lord to do what hewas doing in my life.
And.
I was going through thedevotional utmost for his
highest and in April there are afew different ones where he
starts referencing in utmost forhis highest about Abraham and

(01:28:18):
Isaac and as the Lord started toclean me and purify me and get
me seeking him, suddenly it'slike he was changing my thoughts
.
He was doing somethingdifferent in me.
And another one last thing Iwant to mention.
I don't want to belabor this,but I was meeting with Chris and
Adrian weekly and it was very,it was hard, it was challenging.

(01:28:38):
They were challenging me asthey should.
And then simultaneously I wasmeeting with with Alfred, who
went to our church, who now isin Kentucky, and he went to our
church at that time and I gotpermission to meet with him and
I would meet on Friday nights.
He would drop his kids off atyouth group and then he would
meet me at McDonald's and Iwould sit in his minivan while

(01:28:59):
he went through the book ofRomans and he would again.
It shows how Pastor Rouse wasso sensitive to what was going
on.
He didn't.
Alfred had no idea what wasgoing on, he just knew obviously
something had happened.

Speaker 2 (01:29:11):
And he was a leader in the church?

Speaker 3 (01:29:13):
Yeah, he was a leader in the church and he just
started discipling me in thebook of Romans and there was no
baggage or I need to teach thisguy and he would go through the
grace of God, salvation by grace, the love of God, and it just

(01:29:38):
ministered to me so much onGod's grace and I remember even
thinking the thought of you know, if God hasn't left me yet,
he's not leaving me.
And that idea didn't lead tolike that means I can do
anything.
It led to I gotta give this, Igotta give God everything, I
gotta walk closer to this Lord.
And it just those weeklymeetings with Alfred through the

(01:29:59):
book of Romans, did so much forme.
But moving ahead to the monthof May, again, this whole time
I'm teaching full time and Iknow my students if they, you
know they're out there.
The teacher looked verydepressed, I'm sure, during
those months.
But suddenly there were thesetimes of like God giving me joy
and around May things started tochange and I even there were

(01:30:23):
times where suddenly Alfredwould be like I'm going to pray
for your wife, your future wife,and to me it seemed strange.
I remember my pastor of theother church I was attending
calling me and it's like theLord just pressed it upon me to
start praying for you and yourwife and it was like the Lord
was telling me, you know, maybeI am going to get married.
And then it's like, you know, Ihope it's Steffi.

(01:30:44):
And I was also fearful, likemaybe the Lord's going to take
away my desire for Steffi.
You know, if I surrender to him, and as I surrender to the Lord
, as he's putting things todeath, I remember I was in, it
was in the month of May, and I'msitting in a very boring
professional development forMiami Dade public schools and
the Lord's showing me, throughthe last couple months of no

(01:31:06):
contact with her whatsoever, ofsurrendering my life to him, of,
you know, everything towardsher.
You know, did I love her or didI just love the sin?
And he showed me he had put inme a true love for her, a true
love for the baby inside of her.
And, uh, and he still hadn'tconfirmed, you know, am I going

(01:31:28):
to marry her?
And and so, again to fastforward, it was May 25th, a
Sunday evening, and my, my twoold, two brothers that lived in
Miami, were going to church atCalvary, miami on a Sunday night
I was not that lived in Miami,were going to church at Calvary,
miami, on a Sunday night.
I was not.
And I remember just sittingthere at home and the Lord
showing me the Bible verse bestill and know that I am God.

(01:31:51):
And just sitting there.
And then the Lord began to showme.
You know, he was going to bringSteffi and I together and I
remember he was showing me, hewas telling me, you know, you
trying to do this was yourIshmael.
You tried to do it in the flesh, I'm going to do it and it's
going to be your Isaac.
And I also remember he showedme the Bible verse, psalm 84, 11

(01:32:14):
, which says for the Lord, godis a sun and shield.
The Lord bestows favor andhonor and no good thing does he
withhold from the world.
Am I blameless?
And I turn the Bible on thevery next.
I turn it to the New Testament.
It opens to Ephesians 1, 4.
And it says and it says, andyou know just, I remember

(01:32:44):
weeping as the Lord showing me.
You know it's his grace, thereason why we get anything is
him.
And around the same time theLord showed me Matthew 11, 11,
which the verse almost seemsobscure, but it's become almost
a life verse and it says Jesusis talking.
And he says Assuredly, I say toyou among those born of women

(01:33:09):
there.
So what a great testimony toJohn the Baptist.
But he goes on to say but hewho is least in the kingdom of
heaven is greater than he.
And why is this?
Because it's Christ in Christ,everything is in Christ.
It's not about me trying harder, it's not about me.
It's about me believing of whatChrist did and who I am in

(01:33:32):
Christ.
I don't deserve Steffi.
I didn't deserve her back then,I don't deserve her now.
But it's the love of Christ.
And so then, going into thatmeeting in June, I was in a
whole different frame of mind,and it was not an easy night,
going up to the stage reading aprepared statement of how sorry

(01:33:55):
and repentant I was.
I remember again Pastor Raj isspeaking, so much love.
And I remember so many facescoming up and giving me words of
encouragement, some, you knowsome thinking I'll be back to
church next week.
Others may be thinking Iremember one.
You know, hey, don't run fromthis.
And you know I'm past that atthis point.

(01:34:19):
But I'll never forget all thepeople that just showed me so
much unconditional love.
And you know I'm not going tostart saying names, but for me,
you know, I'll never I hope I'llnever forget that, and some of
these people still go to churchand you know, I will never
forget the love of God theyshowed me.
And then the other thing therewere some people that didn't

(01:34:45):
come up, and you know people andI, you know, that didn't come
up, and you know, you know therewas this disappointment like,
oh man, you know so, so and somaybe they're still upset.
And and uh, again the goodadvice in that I had at the time
, and again this, this friend,uh, that I had from college, him
telling me you know, all ofthis is your fault.

(01:35:05):
And just going back to that,yeah.
Amazing friend, all of this isyour fault and kind of settling.
You know, if they don't forgiveme, it takes years.
It's still my fault.
It's not their fault, it's myfault.
If they never forgive me, it'smy fault.
And you know that did dosomething in me.

(01:35:28):
And then the next day I had, Iflew.
I flew to Oregon for the wholesummer.
I was going to be in Oregon anduh, I remember the Lord
speaking to me on the airplane,opening up the Bible, him giving
me scriptures.
I remember George Lee textingme words of encouragement and uh
again.
And then going back to thepromises the Lord gave me he's

(01:35:48):
going to bring us together.
He is going to bring ustogether.
And I had doubts about that.
And you know, did I even hearfrom the Lord?
And he gave me more scripturesof confirmation.
And then my very first Sunday inBend, oregon, the pastor starts
talking.
And I failed to mention this,but when Alfred and I were going
through the book of Romans, weleft off in Romans eight.

(01:36:09):
My very first Sunday in Oregonfor the summer, the pastor I've
never been there in my lifeopens up the Bible and says
we're starting Romans nine.
And I also remember, during thesermon, thinking to myself did
God really speak to me?
Ishmael, isaac, could that bethe Lord?
As I am thinking that from thepulpit the pastor says Ishmael,

(01:36:31):
his brother Isaac, and then thevery next verse the pastor
mentions he goes back to Genesistwo for whatever reason, I
don't remember even what he wastalking about and then he says
the words from Satan did Godreally say?
And from that moment I knewthat the Lord spoke to me and
it's the enemy who's trying toget me to question it, and that

(01:36:52):
changed everything.
You know for me going forward,that I'm not.
This is still a mess.
I got to seek the Lord, but Iknow where this is headed and
I'm not.
I'm not in this purgatory ofuncertainty.
And then the last thing I wantto mention quickly.
That summer the Lord did a workin my family's life and I

(01:37:14):
haven't mentioned them that much.
But before I went home, myparents, they unplugged the
television.
I said I don't want to comehome unless the television's
unplugged.
They did for me and we wouldspend evenings doing devotionals
.
We would sing hymns.
I told them not to talk to meabout Stephanie.
My dad would tell me like oh,your mom's upstairs talking to

(01:37:35):
you, know who again and thatwould make me mad.
But I look back and the Lordwas bringing my mom and my
future wife together and theLord was just doing so many
sweet things through thissituation that summer.

Speaker 2 (01:37:52):
Oh man, chad, I like that.
Your dad's a funny guy For sure.
I mean, if we were to talkabout all the people that are
part of the story, all themoments, all the stories, I mean
just I could, the way youdescribed it.
I could picture you and Alfredthere in the van and just
talking about the Bible Justamazing.

(01:38:12):
So I'm sure there's more totalk about.
I know we're going to miss stuff.
I know your guys' hearts is.
You know you treasure everyonethat was there, everyone that
God used, all the love.
Like you said, right, you don'teven want to try to mention
names because you're going tomiss stuff.
We All the love.
Like you said, right, you don'teven want to try to mention
names because you're going tomiss stuff.
We know that for sure.
But we definitely want tofinish the story.
We're starting to get on theupward track here of the story.

(01:38:34):
Right, there was a tough partthere in the middle, but, Steph,
so we're getting to deliveryday.
You know you're dealing with.
How was the pregnancy?
Were you sick a lot?
What was that like?

Speaker 4 (01:38:48):
it was, it was tough, easy it was fine.
I I I didn't get any, um barelyany um first trimester sickness
cool um, maybe just got somesciatica pain in the back.
Um, I was very nervous,obviously, for the delivery and
what it's going to be like.

(01:39:09):
But there's so many awesomeladies in the church that was
telling me about their birthstory.
And don't worry, just trust theLord, everything's going to be
okay.
It's only one day.
You're not even going toremember it the next day.
So I just had beautiful supportand women reaching out to me.

(01:39:30):
I had a baby shower that wasthrown for me that I was super
grateful for.
I didn't even ask for it.
Just once you have a baby inthe church, it's like there's
this underground force of babyitems that just show up on your
doorstep.
And so Tyler was just.

(01:39:51):
He's our.
He's Tyler's the name that wechose for our baby and, um, he
was well loved.
Um, before he was born and um,he, we were given so many things
.
I had every single type offurniture that I needed for the
baby strollers, car seat, youname it.
And then, moving forward to theday of delivery it was a Sunday

(01:40:17):
night, but reversing reallyquick.

Speaker 2 (01:40:21):
Yeah, of course.

Speaker 4 (01:40:23):
I had not seen or talked really to Chad um up
until like pretty much one weekbefore the baby was born.
So we finally had um a daywhere he came over to the house
and I was finally able to seeand actually talk to him and I

(01:40:47):
was probably looking all bloatedand chubby and pregnant, um,
but he hadn't seen or talked tome since February.
I got one special birthdayphone call from him in July, um,
but that was it and um, this isjust fast forwarding really

(01:41:07):
quick.
So it wasn't only until oneweek before that Chad and I we
were able to talk and pick aname for Tyler.

Speaker 2 (01:41:16):
Now you know again.
We've talked about so much andyou shared with us the reality
of you know.
As a 19 year old, did I lovehim, did I not love him In this
time, are you growing to loveChad?
Is this happening already inthis separation time?

Speaker 4 (01:41:32):
It was definitely happening.
I have these amazingconfirmation Bible verses that
the Lord showed me about Chadand it was just the spiritual
maturity that it took on hispart and the submission and

(01:41:53):
being able to go through thiswhole process of being obedient
and listening to the churchleadership and going to a
different church and listeningto my parents' requests, and
that just blew me away.
And in Psalm 15, what blessedme was verse 4, part B, but

(01:42:28):
honors those who fear the Lord,who keeps an oath even when it
hurts, and does not change theirmind.
Whoever does these things willnever be shaken.
And so when I came across thatverse, I knew that was Chad and
just the love of Christ growingin him, his relationship with
the Lord.
That just blew me away and thatis what made me fall in love

(01:42:53):
with him.

Speaker 2 (01:42:57):
That's awesome.
So you had a baby.
You guys met a week before andplanned for him to be there and
not be there.

Speaker 4 (01:43:12):
What, what, uh, what was going on there?
What was the arrangement?
so everything was still verymuch like walking on eggshells
of course, yeah um, but eversince the baby was born, I was
able to see chad and talk tochad every single day.
My dad was very gracious withhim and every time Chad would
ask for permission to come overand see the baby, the answer was
always yes, as long as both myparents were there.

(01:43:34):
But we took baby steps tosafeguard our relationship
because obviously, we went aheadof the Lord and this time
around we wanted to do um, wewanted the Lord to be leading,
we wanted to follow um the Lordand the right steps and being

(01:43:54):
above reproach.
And um, if I wanted to sendChad a text message, I would
send it to my dad first and thenmy dad would forward it to him.
Um, and it just went fromseeing chad, not talking to him
nothing, zero, nothing at all umto seeing him every single,

(01:44:14):
almost single day, every singleday wow.

Speaker 2 (01:44:19):
And then you got married.
What happened?
What?
Uh, that's awesome.
I mean, um, I'm just having funwith you guys.
I mean the joy, the joy of whatgod is doing, hearing it again
and, if you just tuned in, we'retalking with chad and stephanie
and just an amazing story, anamazing testimony, the amazing

(01:44:39):
grace of god and just the joy ofof a baby, of new life, the joy
of god restoring people, thejoy of God restoring people, the
joy of God restoringrelationships.
And so you're starting to talkagain.
You're seeing each other everyday.
Chad knows he wants to getmarried.
So what happens next with youguys?

Speaker 3 (01:45:00):
Well, to back up briefly.
I remember getting a call fromGeorge on a Sunday night that
Steffi's going into labor, andso then I rushed to the hospital
and anyway Tyler was born and Iwas not in the delivery room
but I come in there.
I cut his umbilical cord but atthat point, if some of it was

(01:45:22):
just when can we meet, type ofthing but I still had not been
fully restored to calvary chapel, miami, I had not attended a
service yet.
And so when we get the stephy'sin in the room and the baby and
I'm coming during the day andagain not being restored, not
knowing what everybody thinks,and I I just want to to mention

(01:45:43):
the amount of people that cameand visited baby Tyler is beyond
belief.
Like I there may be, I don'tknow if there's a Vasquez child
that breaks the record, but tome it has to be a record.
There were so many peoplecoming, some people bringing
food, there was never a peoplegiving hugs or you know, there

(01:46:06):
was never an awkwardness.
You know this guy, and it wasthe biggest blessing.
And then I'll never forget whenthe Lees did take Tyler home,
you know seeing him in the back,his little baby seat, and they
have that little cap on becausetheir head's still a little
funny or something.
Seat and they have that littlecap on because their head's

(01:46:28):
still a little funny, orsomething.
Seeing him drive away was alittle heart-wrenching and
knowing, okay, there is going tostill be a separation here.
But, as Steffi mentioned, youknow the Lord was so good Every
time I can.
You know, can I come over afterwork?
George would say, yes, I'd comeover for an hour or two and you
know there'd be people atchurch.
You know, kind of like, by thattime there are some like man,

(01:46:49):
you're in a tough spot oruncertainty.
And I knew there was nothinguncertain about our future.
The Lord had given me Hispromises, it was just a matter
of time.
And so you know, I'm sure youknow I get back at church and we
move forward and relationshipsare restored.
But I do want to mention anotherthing is the contrast.

(01:47:12):
Steffi and I tried to do thingsour way and it was sinful, it
was the flesh and it wasdisastrous.
And the second time around, asthe Lord had told me, we did
things His way.
Lord had told me we did thingshis way and we had complete
accountability the entire time.

(01:47:32):
Eventually I don't know ifSteffi wants to mention our
engagement, but when we dofinally get engaged, but our
courtship, we don't kiss tillour wedding, up on stage for our
wedding.
And it was pure, it was holy,the thought of, like you know, I
can't ever have that muchself-control.
Clearly it was pure, it washoly, the thought of like I, you

(01:47:53):
know, I can't ever have thatmuch self-control.
Clearly I couldn't do it beforeby not by my, not by power, but
by the, by the power of God.
Yes, yes, I can.
Yes, you can, yes, anybody can.
And then one other little sweetthing to me is I was such
fearful, such in a hurry, uh,that one of the people that I
know I had to have offended, um,my well, my, anyway, my, my

(01:48:15):
sister-in-law and mybrother-in-law both my
sister-in-law even before I gotback to church, she was reaching
out to me and I'll never forgetthat, you know, sending me
messages like I'm wanting tomeet up again, and then fast
forward later when maybe itlooked like I should be asking
Steffi to marry me already.
So I don't ask her until 2009,december 22nd 2009.

(01:48:41):
But before that, mybrother-in-law, george my
brother-in-law, george, mybrother-in-law he took me out to
breakfast to give me theencouragement.
I was like hey, what are youwaiting for?
And just to see man wow, theLord has turned things around
and you know, again maybe I'mgetting ahead.

Speaker 2 (01:49:00):
But I want to hear what Stephanie was thinking on
December 22nd, but if you wantto finish your talk.

Speaker 3 (01:49:06):
No, I want to mention something about the wedding,
but that's ahead, Stephanie.

Speaker 2 (01:49:11):
So December 22nd interesting day.

Speaker 4 (01:49:14):
It's actually Chad's birthday.
No way, that's awesome.
He may have given himself thisgift.
No, I'm kidding.
I wanted to share this verse.
In Philemon, verse 5, which isanother marriage confirmation
for Chad.
It says, for perhaps hedeparted for a while for this
purpose, that you might receivehim forever.

(01:49:35):
And that is obviously.
Chad had departed for a while,and so that just blew me away
and I was just falling in lovewith chad more and more each day
as he, as I see his interact,interaction, um with tyler, as I
see his interaction with myparents being um more healed, um

(01:50:02):
just the love that was pouredonto both of us after Chad
started coming back to thechurch.
And, yes, what a difference itwas from people wanting to, were
disappointed and wanting tostrangle Chad and to this
restoration turning point wherepeople are wondering, like, when

(01:50:26):
are you going to propose?
So I mean, it kind of took awhile, because this is, tyler
was born in 2008, october 2008,.
And he did not propose until awhole year and two months later,
in December 2009.

Speaker 2 (01:50:46):
Wanted to take your time, do it right.

Speaker 4 (01:50:47):
So we finally were engaged.
We got married five monthslater, in May May 1st 2010.
It was a beautiful wedding.
Tyler even walked our weddingcarrying the little pillow, with
the ring on it, even though hewas crying.

(01:51:08):
But just how the Lord turnedthings around for good, and
where sin abounded, just graceabounded, so much more.

Speaker 2 (01:51:22):
Amen.
You know, I remember, I justremember being there.
I was new to the church at thetime and I just remember the
spirit, just this joyful, justit was something I had never
experienced before, this joyful,it was like a taste of heaven.
You know, it was like a tasteof heaven.
You know, you think about it.
Your story, the separation, theredemption, the marriage.

(01:51:43):
I mean, isn't that our storywith the Lord?
You know, the separation, theredemption, redemption, the
marriage.
I mean, isn't that our storywith the lord?
You know the separation, theredemption and the marriage, and
just an amazing picture ofsalvation and god's grace.
Um, guys, as we wrap up, I meanit's incredible, I mean again,
so much that we could talk aboutand say, were you guys serving

(01:52:08):
again at that point?
Was it a whole other sort ofprocess or journey to come back
to serving the Lord, or did thatkind of happen along with
everything else in those coupleyears?
What's kind of a brief updateon that element of your lives,
because, as you told us before,you're serving now.
Update on that element of yourlives Because, as you told us
before, you're serving now youknow again.
So if you just tuned in, youknow this redemption, this, you

(01:52:30):
know, getting pregnant beforemarriage, this story, the
heartbreak, emotions.
Finally they get married andtoday they are leading and
helping in the married couplesministry.
I mean, man, if this is not afull circle story.
So again, the question of, youknow, serving the Lord.
Again, just brief update onthat how that kind of came to be

(01:52:54):
that, that element.

Speaker 4 (01:52:56):
I don't remember the timeline of when I started
serving back in church again,but I remember being blown away
when, I believe Chris asked meif I wanted to come back to
leading worship.
So just the fact that I'm justtrying to live for the Lord and

(01:53:17):
then he blesses my socks offwith this awesome opportunity to
be able to have that platform,to be able to lead God's people
in worship, was a huge blessingto me.

Speaker 2 (01:53:33):
That's amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:53:35):
I think one thing for me and I had served in multiple
ministries prior that there wassome well before there was.
Sometimes, am I serving for theLord, am I serving for myself?
Or, and when I was restoredback to church, you know I
didn't serve right away.
It was such a beautiful time ofjust loving the Lord and and

(01:53:58):
sometimes you don't have to bein a specific ministry and you
find ways to serve and blesspeople.
But then it kind of justhappened, naturally of.
I think I started out as doingthe PowerPoint for the words of
the worship, and you know Istarted that and then next thing
, you know I was so it was on acomputer by then.

Speaker 2 (01:54:18):
You weren't doing the slides yes.
What is it?
The overhead projector?

Speaker 3 (01:54:21):
Yeah it was on a computer by then.
And then I also started inchildren's ministry.
But I am a school teacher bytrade and I didn't even start
teaching, I was just kind oflike the hall monitor.
But it was just such a blessingto be back, to be serving.
And the last thing I did wantto say, again on the wedding,

(01:54:46):
again, to see so many peoplethere.
You know, stephanie and I weretalking about this, the number
of people, you know not even tothrow out a number, but it
seemed like the whole church wasthere and I know not everybody
was or whatever, but there wasso many people there I was able
to invite some non-Christiansfrom work to be able to get up
and proclaim the gospel at thereception.

(01:55:09):
You know it was a full circlemoment.
It was such a blessing.
I haven't mentioned as muchabout my family because they
were in Oregon.
You know some of them were inOregon, but my parents to be at
the wedding, my brothers wereall groomsmen and to you know, I
know they had prayed, they hadsuffered, they had, they had,

(01:55:30):
you know, been there at thedarkest and for them to be able
to participate in the, the hugeblessing.
It was just surreal and therewere so many, I don't know.
The Lord's hand was in.
I just feel like everything Ican.
Different stories are coming tomind, but for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:55:49):
Yeah, I mean, like we said, if you're listening, I
mean there's so much to tell, somuch to rejoice about and you
know I like to say brag on God,right, so much to brag on God
about.
But, guys, we're going to wrapup here.
I want to give you theopportunity, as in any closing
statements or thoughts, I meandefinitely shout out to your
beautiful family.
You know, we, we talked aboutthe, the first kid, and now you

(01:56:11):
got three wonderful children.
And and how many years nowmarried, I can't do the math yet
in my say again 13, 13 years,married.
Again, like I said, serving thelord.
And again the position, thetitle is not the point, but
being able to invest inmarriages, marriages in this
season of your life.
So just a wonderful thing.
Again, that's kind of like mysummary.

(01:56:33):
But any closing thoughts,statements, I mean I wish you
guys listening could see thiscouple.
They came with notes, they'reprepared, they've been prayerful
, diligent.
I mean the Bible verses they'veread.
These are bible verses that godhas written on their hearts.
Uh, so this is just me givingyou guys a second to think,
talking to the radio family,while I give my guests a moment

(01:56:53):
to think for any closingthoughts or statements.
Whoever would like to go firstI guess I'll go first.

Speaker 3 (01:57:00):
I'll give stephi a little more time, but there's
two verses and then one finalthought, but two huge takeaways
through this experience.
And one is Romans 7, verses 18,where Paul says for I know that
in me, that is my flesh nothinggood dwells.

(01:57:21):
And I know, before thisexperience I didn't believe that
verse.
And I know, before thisexperience I didn't believe that
verse.
And we can be forgetful.
Maybe there'll be times I stillforget that verse.
But I want to say I know thatverse.
There's nothing good in me.
And for some people that don'tknow the Lord that might sound

(01:57:42):
discouraging, but that is anencouraging verse.
When you realize there's nogood in me, I bring nothing to
the table, and that is a greatplace to be, because that's when
, obviously, you look to theLord.
And then the other verse,Romans 8, 32,.
He who did not spare his ownson but delivered him up for us

(01:58:06):
all, how shall he not, with him,also freely give us all things?
The goodness of God.
Before this event there's no wayI knew the goodness of God and
I will say this you know, nomatter how good some of us think
the Lord is, he's better still.
But my belief in the goodnessof God has grown exponentially.

(01:58:29):
And then the last thing myrelationship with my wife and
the three children that God hasblessed us with.
We're not at the finish line,obviously.
The finish line is for me tohear, for my wife to hear, for
our children to hear well done,good and faithful servant.
And I know that to hear that tome it's almost going to be like

(01:58:55):
an inside joke of again, it'snot me, it's you, lord.
It is all you.
It will be all you, but that iswhat we want to hear.
We want to finish what hebrought us together, not just to
make amends.
What I messed up.
He brought us together for hispurposes, to finish strong and

(01:59:18):
so.
I'm just so thankful.
Everything, the Lord did hasdone and is going to do Awesome.

Speaker 4 (01:59:25):
Psalm 119.71 says it is good for me that I have been
afflicted, that I may learn yourstatutes, and, um, it's just
what a beautiful story andtestimony that Chad and I have.
I mean, I don't know where Iwould be today if I had not had

(01:59:48):
Tyler at that moment in my life.
And I just want to reach out tothe listener that if anybody is
currently living in sin, ifyou're having sexual immorality
before marriage, to repent andto seek accountability, um to

(02:00:09):
reach out to um Christian, yourChristian brothers and sisters,
to help you, because anybody issusceptible to falling into the
sin.
Do not to ever believe that umyou're safeguarded, because the
enemy does want to kill anddestroy and he's out there

(02:00:30):
seeking and prowling like a lionand trying to ruin such a
beautiful thing.
And Ecclesiastes 3.11 says thatthe Lord makes everything
beautiful in his time.
And that was the Bible versefor our wedding and that's just

(02:00:55):
my life verse also just to relyon the Lord, to not go ahead of
the Lord and let him lead you.

Speaker 2 (02:01:05):
Guys, thank you so much again just for taking the
time, taking just the, fortaking your time and for being
willing to be so transparent.
Again, I know that God's gonnause this.
So, Chad, Steph, thank you somuch.
Thank you, Joey.

Speaker 4 (02:01:25):
Thank you for having us.

Speaker 2 (02:01:27):
Of course, if you've been listening and you want to
catch up on the conversation ifyou're, if you're kicking
yourself for missing out, it'sokay we can provide you with the
interview in its entirety, withthe conversation.
Again, when this airs, we mayalready have these online.
We're working on some projects,but for any reason, you can

(02:01:50):
contact us.
We'll make it as convenient aspossible for you.
And maybe you have a questionfor Chad or Steph.
Maybe you want to connect withthem.
We'll help with that as well.
I'm sure they want to reach out, they want to pray, they want
to minister.
After all, right now they're ina season of ministering to
married couples.
That's where the Lord has them.
So, guys, anything you need,786-313-3115.

(02:02:14):
That's the phone number here atGod's Way Radio.
You can text or call786-313-3115.
Grace and peace.

Speaker 1 (02:02:22):
We hope you enjoyed Friends and Family, unique
conversations recorded andproduced in our studios, where
you get a chance to hear whatGod is doing in people's lives.
Jesus tells us in John 15,verse 15, I have called you
friends For all things that Iheard from my Father I have made
known to you.
So that's why we love to sharethese exclusive interviews with
you.
Our hope is that through theirstories God will be made known

(02:02:46):
to you, but you can only findthem here on God's Way Radio.
Just check godswayradiocom forour full program schedule.

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