In today's episode, I chat with Tara Accardo—a Grief & Transformational Life coach and the host of the podcast Life With Grief—about finding a joyful, fulfilling, and meaningful life again after loss.
Grief expert David Kessler describes this as the “sixth stage of grief” in his book Finding Meaning. Now to be crystal clear: this is NOT referring to finding meaning in the death or horrific event, it’s referring to finding meaning in your life after the loss.
“Finding meaning” is different for everyone. It might involve completely changing your life; it might be folded into small but significant moments. For many people, it’s when we try to answer the question “what now?” after a loved one’s death. Tara and I talk about this, and much more, including:
- Finding solace and healing in micro-moments
- How the grieving process cannot be rushed
- Reclaiming power over your life
- Coping during acute grief
- Being curious and giving yourself grace
QUOTES:
“We are truly so much more in charge of our healing and our coping than we think we are…we are in charge of how we grieve, how we cope, our happiness, what our day to day looks like; there is so much that is actually within our power.” –Tara
“If you look at it from a place of curiosity, you’re giving yourself much more grace.” –Tara
“From personal experience, that ‘what now’ can be so overwhelming. And it’s ever evolving, I feel like I’ve gone through several ‘what nows’…” –Hannah
“There’s a whole life now, that you have to ‘figure out’ without that person.” –Tara
“The idea of continuing a relationship with them even after they died…for years I was like, ‘oh the friendship was over,’ after my friend died. But then I’m like, wait I can keep this friendship going somehow. And the ‘how’ is the journey, figuring out how to do that. That is also folded into the finding meaning and finding new purpose.” –Hannah
“After a loss that rocks your world; it's like your life was thishouse of cards, and it all falls, and you have to build an entirely new house of cards.” –Hannah
“I feel like a lot of people want to rush the grief, they just want to feel some peace and just not hurt so bad… it can’t be rushed, but it can certainly be helped along.” –Tara
MORE ABOUT TARA:
Tara Accardo (she/her) is a Grief and Transformational life Coach and host of the Life With Grief Podcast. After losing her parents to cancer within six months of each other, her journey of grieving led her to create Losses Become Gains—a community for fellow grievers that serves tools, inspiration, and guidance on how to navigate grief, loss, and navigating life with both in tow. Through her podcast, one-on-one coaching and other digital resources, Tara’s passion and calling to support fellow grievers runs deep!
RESOURCES:
Connect with Tara:
IG: @lossesbecomegains
IG and TikTok: @lifewithgriefpodcast
Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/
The book Tara recommended: The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O’Connor
Grief Groups:
Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup
Memorial Books:
Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/
GET IN TOUCH:
Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!
Email: friendsmissingfriends@gmail.com
Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends
Website: friendsmissingfriends.com
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