June 26, 2025 • 30 mins
What happens when you spend your entire life feeling like you're not good enough? Sharon Vedano knows this journey all too well. Growing up under the weight of strict Korean-Filipino parents who prioritized academic excellence above all else, Sharon internalized messages of unworthiness that followed her into adulthood.
When the first boy showed interest in her during college, she clung to the relationship despite red flags, eventually marrying him and spending 17 years in a partnership where she felt consistently undervalued. After divorcing the same man twice, Sharon began her remarkable journey of self-discovery and transformation.
The turning point came when Sharon decided to challenge the limiting beliefs that had controlled her life. Through a practice she calls "notice what you're noticing," she began confronting negative thought patterns—even having full arguments with herself in the aisles of Hobby Lobby to reprogram her relationship with money and self-worth. This inner work transformed every aspect of her life, leading her from a successful career as a defense attorney to becoming a transformational coach dedicated to helping others recognize their inherent value.
Most powerfully, Sharon broke generational patterns by creating an entirely different relationship with her children than she experienced growing up. Instead of judgment and high expectations, she built a foundation of unconditional acceptance that her son recently thanked her for over breakfast: "Mom, I'm so grateful I can talk to you about anything."
Now happily remarried in a relationship she once thought "only existed in Hallmark movies," Sharon helps others recognize that they deserve love, success, and fulfillment. Her story proves that with commitment and the right tools, we can rewrite the narratives that have limited us and step into lives of authentic joy and purpose.
Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Connect with Sharon through her website or join one of her free workshops to learn practical tools for building unshakable self-worth.
Sharon@SharonNVidano.com
BarbieMoreno.com
From Wounds to Wisdom available on YouTube
Season 2
Unraveling the Mind: From Mental Struggles to Inner Strength.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
off love which ultimately grew from her
connection to spirit.
So welcome, Thank you forcoming.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Absolutely so.
When we met we we were talkingabout various different things.
I had just done a speech myselfon trauma and all of those
different things and trying tobe bold and making changes and
you shared with me your story.
So can you just kind of get usstarted with the origins of your
story?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Yes, so I am a second generation Korean Filipino,
only child of my immigrantparents and with all the
traditions of Korean Filipinoculture they were.
They were very strict onacademics and socials.
Basically going out, I wasn'treally able to go out.
I wasn't really able to hangout with friends, I wasn't
(00:54):
allowed to date, especiallywhile I was in school and I had
all of the I guess, thestrictness of academics.
So I remember one time I camehome with a B plus and I got
chewed out by my dad where hesaid that the B plus was way too
close to an A minus, so thatyou know, times 1000.
(01:16):
Over my whole childhood Istarted to hear from my parents
that whatever I did I was notgood enough.
So carried that along throughmy young adult years.
Here I am now because I don'thave the ability or the
knowledge of how to hang outwith friends, how to meet boys,
how to talk to them, anythinglike that.
So I didn't have a lot ofsuitors coming after me and I
(01:40):
didn't know how to talk to boys.
So when the first boy showed meany attention in college I
thought, oh wow, you know helikes me and you know part of me
was like oh well, I got to makethis work because I don't know
if there's another boy that'sgoing to come around.
No, don't get me wrong.
You know I did like him, hecared for me and ultimately we
dated for about seven years andwe ultimately got married.
(02:03):
But hindsight is always 2020,which we always realize and the
marriage was rocky from thebeginning and the relationship
was rocky for the beginning.
But I didn't know any better.
I always wanted to make it work.
So as I continued to make itwork, as it was very rocky, I
started to realize, oh, you knowwhat I feel alone in this
(02:24):
marriage.
He was a great provider, but asa provider, I felt he wasn't
emotionally present for me and,ultimately, to my children as
well.
So we went through therapy onand off over the over the 17
years that we were together onand off and went to therapy and
(02:46):
stuff, and at some point thetherapist had indicated that he
had he appeared to have somenarcissistic traits.
So throughout the marriage andrelationship I started to hear
the message that I was notworthy of his time and money.
So now couple that with for myparents, where I'm not good
enough, so I carry that with mefor a very long time, yeah we
(03:10):
step back.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
So I know your parents gave you the indication
or the feeling that you were notgood enough.
Have you?
Have you forgiven them?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yes.
So through all my work learningabout just in my journey about
growth and self love, I startedto realize that my parents were
basically they were doing theirbest at the time.
They I know they love me, so Inever doubted that they loved me
, but I knew that now I knowthat they were just doing their
(03:41):
best.
They, they were doing what theythought that that all they knew
really.
I just want to add to thatstory too when I left my
parents' house, I ran away at 19because they were so strict,
and I was estranged from myparents my dad for about 10
years and then estranged from mymom for about three.
So so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So Asian culture in general is very strict, yes, yes
, especially when it comes togrades and what.
What is the belief as to awoman's worth in in your culture
?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Um, I think typically it's um, very much just, kind
of just, you're there, you serveand you're quiet, so you really
don't have a voice.
I remember going to a when Iwas in my young adult years as a
, as a college student, I wentto a young adult group.
We attended a Korean, koreanlanguage church service and my
(04:42):
dad started to become part ofthat community and we went to
several of their events and Iwas really noticing the
differences between theirculture and American culture and
, and I'm sure they honor theirwives in their way, you know.
But it was very, very, veryshocking to me and the very
traditional culture.
The men would sit at the diningtable while the women and
(05:04):
children were in another roomduring this party and they were
in another room sitting at thelow tables on the ground and
whenever the men neededsomething, the women would get
up and serve the men.
Yeah, which, and that'straditional, but it was, it was
a.
It was a shock to me.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And even in like America, you kind of still see
that going on right, Like, eveneven as it evolved um,
supposedly um country, I stillwill get up and, you know, do
more than my husband would asfar as like serving and stuff
like that.
So I think, even if it's not acultural thing, it's just
something, that it's a societalthing, that women are taught to
serve and be quiet and just kindof that's.
(05:44):
That's half of the problem,right, we don't get to actually
say what we feel because we needto just serve and take care of
others, including children.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Right, right.
And I and I, and I understandthat you know there's
differences between masculineenergy and feminine energy, and
women have that natural energyof of being the nurturers and
the servant heart and and themen are the men tend to be the
task oriented, you know, getthings done.
And I understand that.
I think that the that I guessthe art is balancing that within
(06:15):
a relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, and so the the not being good enough or not
being worthy or whatever thecase may be, and then finding
somebody who showed you just alittle bit of attention.
You think that is what broughtyou.
Basically, you felt like nobodyelse would be interested in you
, and then the attentionprobably felt good.
Right, I would imagine.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh yeah, yeah, I remember being, you know, not
that girl where the boys wouldgive attention to you.
I remember I was havinggirlfriends where you know the
boys would ask them out and showthem attention and flirt with
them and I always felt like Ihad, you know, like I will get
the second look almost.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So, and narcissists tend to be drawn to the person
who doesn't feel worthy.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, I start to realize that and I as the
relationship went further along,and then I started to say you
know what I?
I think I, I want more thanthis.
I found myself one day saying Ithink it would be okay if I was
in a marriage where we werejust friends.
And I noticed that thought andI thought you know, no, I really
(07:24):
do want more than that.
And then that was, I think, thebeginning of me starting my
steps to really just end themarriage.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
At that point Was there a turning point, was there
one moment that just shiftedeverything?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I think it was.
No, not really.
I think it's.
You know, everyone says everyevery now and then friends will
say, well, was there infidelity?
Where is this?
There really wasn't.
Like I said, he was a goodprovider and it was just like
what did they say?
Cut a death, death by 10,000cuts, or something like that.
I don't know what the saying is, something like that.
I'm sure I messed that up.
(07:59):
So, um, but it it.
You know, it's just 10,000little things, that it's just
like little cuts.
Saying, you know that I don'tthink you're worth my time, I
don't think you're worth mymoney I, you know, not being
thoughtful, and I not that I'mmaterialistic or anything like
that, but I, I, you know, I wantto be cherished, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So yeah, and so he would actually say you're not
worth my time.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No, no, I never.
Yes, yes, so just to be, justto be transparent, he never said
those words.
It was actually he probablysaid he loved me almost every
day, you know, but the actionswere, were very different.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So what actions did you feel like showed you that?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Just like when we would go when we.
I remember one time we neededan appliance in the house and I
said you know what I would?
I would love for us to havethis, this one appliance.
I think it was an oven at thetime.
Oh no it was a garbage disposalat the time, oh no, garbage
compactor, that's it.
And then he's like, oh no, wedon't, we don't need that
Because it is, you know, itdoesn't take a lot, it doesn't
(09:05):
take a lot of trash, or whateverhis reasons were, and it was,
for example, six hundred dollars, whatever it was.
And then no, no, we don't needthat.
But then all of a sudden hesaid oh, but here's an ice maker
, we could really use that youknow, and it was the exact
amount six hundred dollars.
But you know it was, it was a nobrainer.
You know if that was somethingthat he wanted versus something
that I said that I would lovefor our house.
(09:26):
So examples like that you know10,000 times over.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So yeah, just just counting what your needs and
wants are yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
What did your parents think when you got divorced?
They, uh, we were divorcedtwice.
So long story, yeah.
So we were divorced twice.
The first time I really didn'ttell anyone.
I didn't tell anyone in myfamily.
So first my dad was estrangedfrom myself, so we didn't talk
(09:59):
for 10 years and at the time Iwas speaking with my mom so.
But I didn't tell my mom oranyone on my mom's side, because
I knew that would be kind oflike he would be dead to them if
we were to ever reconcile atthat point.
So, um, so they never reallyknew so what?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
made you go back to him if you were already divorced
.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I had.
At the time I had a.
I think he was a six and athree-year-old, so in my mind it
was like a no brainer.
If I can save my marriage anddo everything I can to to save
this marriage for the sake of mykids, I would.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
What made you get divorced the first time?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
He asked for the divorce, the first time.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Oh, what was his reasoning?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That this was not the life for him.
You know, he felt tooconstrained in that life, so
that was not the life for him.
So how did that feel?
Well, you know, it added to mystories that I was telling
myself so.
But then at that point I startedtaking massive action I took, I
went to therapy, I startedreading all kinds of books, I
(11:00):
started really doing my work onmyself.
And then I went back to work,because I was fortunate enough
to be home when the babies werelittle, for a little bit each
time, and I went back to workand I really just started really
working on myself.
And then I was growing myself-worth at that point.
So, but at that point, afterthe divorce was final, that's
(11:23):
when he, I guess he realized, oh, you know what I really messed
up with my family and I insistedon he go with me to couples
therapy.
So we did, we did for about ayear so, and he worked, we
worked really hard and he reallydid work really hard to make
sure that we were a priority.
And then so we remarried andafter about probably about three
(11:47):
or four years, it just itstarted to slowly go back to the
way it was.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Right, yeah, kind of like the honeymoon period all
over again and then, and then itgoes back to we go back to our
old habits.
What's his history like, was he?
What was his childhood like?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
He his parent.
Both of his parents wereteachers.
They were divorced.
So they were separated for avery long time and then they
were divorced.
I think when we were in collegethey actually got the divorce.
That was final.
So they've been as long as Iknew them.
They were separate, but hewasn't, for the most part, an
only child because he had anolder half sister that was about
(12:22):
, I think, 18 years older.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Okay, so he that.
That was kind of my wonder ifhe was an only child, because
sometimes that obviously shapesthe personality itself as well.
Yeah, yeah, it's harder forthem to share.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, a little bit, although I think I'm very
different.
Maybe, it's because of mystruggles.
Yeah that I became verydifferent.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I don't know everyone says that I don't appear to
have the only child personality.
So you're an only child, soyou're basically.
Your whole family's legacy wasplaced on you.
Yeah, yeah, talk to me aboutbeing a defense attorney.
Why that?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
So I went into law school, kind of like a default.
I actually went into a businessdegree in college and I
realized I didn't like businessat all.
So the only class I reallyenjoyed was the pre law class.
So the business pre law class.
So I did pre law and I lovethat.
So I decided I'm going to go bea lawyer.
And then I said, well, whatfield am I going to do?
(13:21):
And I started doing all kindsof internships and then in the
end I liked being in thecourtroom because it was very
exciting compared to civil lawwhere you're sitting behind a
desk 90% of the time and Ididn't like that.
I actually clerked for theprosecutor side as well as
defense side.
I actually clerked for theprosecutor side as well as
defense side.
I found the defense side moreenlightening, I think.
(13:43):
So in the end I felt that itwas very important to defend the
Constitution for everyone.
You know, sometimes if youthink that this guy is a scumbag
, you know, and you want to hanghim because he did, you know, x
, y, z, then you can't make anexception for that guy because
we're making an exception foryou and I and you know you got
to protect it for all.
(14:03):
So in the end, I was basicallyprotecting the constitution,
protecting my clients, makingsure the evidence was if it was
obtained, you know, accurately,legally, making sure witnesses
actually saw what they thoughtthey saw, you know, and then I
mean, of course, I defended them.
It was in many times it's notexactly what it is portrayed to
(14:23):
be.
So it was interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
So tell me how you went from your wounds to wisdom.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So I had some really stressful times at work and
being at work, I started to getvery angry and resentful.
So, as I was being veryresentful, I didn't like feeling
angry and resentful every timeI went to work.
So I said I'm I'm actuallytired of that.
So something in me just saidyou know what, let's, let's
(14:51):
choose a different thought whenwe're dealing with certain
situations at work.
And then I started listening todifferent podcasts and
different writing, all kinds ofbooks, and then I started to
really lean into law ofattraction and all the different
universal laws, which I think Iwas always doing my whole life.
But this was really thecatalyst to my journey of my
(15:14):
becoming of who I am today andafter my divorce I think I was
about two years I didn't dateanyone.
I said, you know, I'm justgoing to be me for a while.
And then I started the onlinedating thing.
That's quite a jungle.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Not as fun.
Talk about meeting narcissists.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Well, yeah, yes, and then I actually ran into.
I was watching a lot ofpodcasts and then and stuff on
YouTube, and then this one coachreally caught my attention.
We really resonated with me, soI started doing like his little
courses here and there, and asI continue to do his little
course, I said this is, this isreally good stuff, and a lot of
(15:54):
it was really rooted in learningto grow your self-worth, really
getting into the energy of theidea of yourself being in that
ideal relationship that youwould love to be in.
And so I took the course.
I loved it so and and it reallyit really brought down all
(16:15):
these principles that I thinkI've been living my whole life,
really put it in a structure,put labels to it, so now it's
like something I can apply allthe time.
So, and as I continue to dothat, I use those tools.
When I started dating and now Imet my husband and he's amazing
.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I have met him.
He is amazing.
Very nice guy, talk to me aboutbeing a mother and when.
Because the one thing that Ihave found and maybe you'll
agree or disagree is that eventhough we don't like the way
that our parents parented, wecatch ourselves parenting the
same way because it's how wewere taught, right?
So even you can try yourhardest not to do what they do
(16:53):
and then sometimes it's just bydefault doing exactly what they
did that you knew that youshouldn't be doing.
Did you experience that?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I did, but not not to the huge degree of.
I didn't adopt everything thatmy parents taught me.
So because I, because they wereso strict, I really had no
relationship with them otherthan like a mother father.
You know, they were not thetype where I could come and say,
hey, mom, can I, can I talkwith you about something?
You know, we were not closelike that at all.
(17:22):
Actually, growing up, especiallyin my high school years and my
college years, I did everythingI could to get away from them
because I felt everything that Ishared and it wasn't even
something really really deep.
It was like, oh yeah, mom, I'mgoing out with you.
Know, my girlfriend and allcause were a group of.
It was a college, it was mygirlfriend and like six guys,
that was our, that was our crowdin college and we would go to
(17:43):
the movies.
I mean, like I was so bad, wewent to the movies and Denny's,
that's all we did, you know, andhang out at someone's house,
but I got into so much troublejust for being that and staying
out late, like past 12.
I'm like, really, I get offwork at 1030.
How am I, how am I going to beable to hang out with them so?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
a lot of judgment.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, so there's a lot of judgment.
So I made a very consciousdecision after I started having
children that I was going to bea very different parent.
So I made sure to speak to mykids when they were very little,
as if they were little peopleand I would hear them out.
But in the end they still haveto do what I said.
But I but I did hear them out,but in the end they still had to
do what I said.
So, but I but I did hear themout.
(18:21):
And even to this day, um, wehave a very, very strong
relationship and I just hadbreakfast with my son this
morning.
He says you know what, mom, I'mso grateful for you that I have
this relationship where I canjust come to you and talk to you
about anything.
There's no judgment, um, justI'm, I'm always here and really
there is no judgment.
In the end, I just want themsafe and happy is really what it
(18:42):
is.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
So what's the difference between your current
marriage and your previousmarriage?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So this one is Just really like night and day.
I remember thinking and I saythis to other people I said it's
like I didn't know this thiskind of marriage could exist.
You know I thought it onlyexisted in the movies, like in
the Hallmark movie or somethinglike that.
He is very thoughtful, justreally, really thoughtful.
Puts me first, puts, you know,puts my boys and his boys.
(19:12):
He has three boys also.
So there's five boys between us, you know, puts my boys and his
boys.
He has three boys also.
There's five boys between us.
He puts our boys, you know,first.
We are priority.
Complete gentlemen, I had tolearn to how to receive that
Because I was I always say I wasin survival mode because I was.
I was a mom, in a sense, I wasa dad.
I was doing, doing everything Iknew.
(19:33):
When I was dating, I wanted apartner who was also a doer, so
that I wasn't doing, I felteverything you know around the
house, around finances, around,like kids, extracurricular
anything you know.
So, um, he really is just anincredible partner, very, very
um, attentive, um, and he cooks.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I didn't.
You know, that wasn't one of myboxes.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
God.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, it's nice to have somebody share those duties
right.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Did you ever feel afraid of telling your ex
anything like because maybe youwould be judged, or you just
didn't feel like you had thatkind of relationship versus
maybe your relationship now?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, yeah, coming out of my relationship from him,
you know, cause we weretogether seven years before we
actually got married and then wewere probably married, another
on and off, probably almostanother 10 years after that.
There was a lot of issues onmoney.
So he, his, his, he had a goalof just really being quite the
(20:38):
investor, um, and that wasreally his.
You know, that was his prideand so whenever it came to
anything about discussing abouthousehold finances, I was, I was
afraid you know, and it wasjust and he provided, but I I
felt that the energy wasn't,wasn't, it wasn't.
It was very obligatory, you know, and it was, he would give, but
(21:01):
it was like begrudging, youknow so.
So I would always feel anxiouswhenever I had to ask, even if
it was just, you know, extramoney for household bills or
anything like that.
So I carried that.
You know we call a moneyparadigm.
So I carry that with me inthese stories with me.
I had to actually rework a lotof that and then I basically
(21:22):
realized that you know what I?
I am worthy of someone's loveand someone wants to be able to
take care of me genuinely, and Iwas now able to receive that.
So no, those that carried alongwith me for a while.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So what did your ex think when you started doing
your transformational work?
He doesn't care for it, yeah,so what did that?
How did that, like, affect yourrelationship?
Because you did say he went totherapy with you so he was
willing to do some stuff.
Right, yes, but when we do ourtransformational work, we
basically become a differentperson.
Yes, how did that affect yourrelationship?
(21:57):
And what were?
Well, how was his reaction?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
So when I asked for the divorce, he wanted to go
back to counseling and I said no, and then he had said, well,
but you're not trying if wedon't go.
And I said, well, I beg todiffer, I've been trying for 17
years.
So that's what I said.
And then, so he, and he wasthen, you know, trying to court
me.
(22:19):
You know, now he's beingthoughtful with the flowers and
the candy and the little thingsand then I and I asked him to
stop and he said why?
I said because I know it'stemporary and it's making me
uncomfortable.
So he stopped.
So our divorce was actuallyvery amicable.
It wasn't until I got marriedwhere I think he, he, got a
(22:42):
little put off by that.
So me, I don't, I don't know.
I mean I'm sure it's veryawkward knowing that your former
spouse is marrying someone else.
So but yeah, he got, he, it gota little there, a little bit of
tension once I got married andyou know, I just said you know
what that it?
(23:03):
From where I am right now in myevolution, I just say Okay,
well, you know what that it'sokay, I'm going to honor you at
your current level awareness andI'll just be over here and
that's all you can do, right?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's your favorite, or do youhave a favorite tool to teach
people?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yes, so a lot of it.
What I love to teach people isthe notice, what you're noticing
, really noticing your thoughts,and once you notice that you
have a thought that isdisempowering to you, just
really notice it.
Stop that thought, you pauseand then you move into an
empowering thought which is, youknow, basically an affirmation.
And, for example, I rememberwhen I was dealing with those
(23:45):
money paradigms, I would, Iwould stop, I would pause and
there's like a whole.
I had like a whole event at ahobby lobby and an argument in
my head by myself and my poorfriend didn't know she's
shopping in the next aisle.
I had to excuse myself andbrowse in another aisle, but I
was, I was really repatterningin a hobby lobby, you know, and
(24:05):
really you pause and I, I wasbreathing and I I was saying
because the thoughts were youknow, you're not worthy of
anybody's time and money is whatmy nasty voice was telling me
and I would pause and I wouldbreathe through it and basically
I, my empowering thought was,like you know, shut up, you
deserve a loving relationship.
(24:25):
You know, you deserve a careerthat you absolutely love.
That can, if you, if, whenyou're making so much impact
that you're making a gajilliondollars and and you deserve that
and you deserve a lovingpartner who will love you
unconditionally, that can andthat can include supporting you
and empowering you andsupporting you financially as
well, you know.
So I had to say that empoweringthought on the heels of the,
(24:48):
the disempowering thought,probably about 10 times in Hobby
Lobby Like shut up, yeah, soI'm having this argument in my
head in Hobby Lobby, like on theheels of each other.
Shut up, yeah, so I'm havingthis argument in my head in
Hobby Lobby by myself.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So I have had many of those myself.
Yes, yes, it's a lot of work,you know there's.
There's a meditation that I loveand it basically in the
meditation it says your, yourmind, is lying to you, right,
because it's trying to tell youthese stories about yourself,
and it's literally lying to you,especially when you're down in
the dumps and you're not reallyfeeling good or you're picking
(25:21):
on yourself or whatever the casemay be.
It's literally lying to you andyou have to go back and remind
yourself the truth.
The truth is that you're worthy.
That's true, yeah yeah, when youhad that conversation, had you
met your husband yet, oh yeah,we were already married.
Oh, and you're already stillgoing through this.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes, yes, but that was right at about the heels of,
or at the time when I wasdeciding to retire from my
attorney position.
So you know, there are somestories now because it's like,
okay, you know, as an attorney,you know you, for the most part,
have a steady, steady amount ofincome coming in.
You, for the most part, have asteady, steady amount of income
(25:57):
coming in.
So the thought of even havingto ask my husband, ask my
husband for $20, you know what Imean.
I would have a panic attack youknow, so yeah, so I was.
I had a lot of repatterning todo on that one.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah Well, cause you were conditioned right.
So obviously.
And so do people ask you like,why would you go from being what
people conceive like a you know, like a prestigious job of an
attorney, to a transformationalcoach?
Like do they do you get a lotof questioning on that?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I do.
But what's funny is a lot ofthe people, my colleagues in the
attorney field.
They said, oh, good for you.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And when.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
I go back to visit for like retirement parties or
something.
They said Look at her, she justlooks so alive and happy, you
know, so most people understand.
And they said you know whatthat's.
So, sharon, anyway, to be thatkind of person, that it's, it's
natural, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
What's one thing that you want?
To leave this world with peoplethinking about you Like what,
what do you want?
Then there's like a you know,random question out of nowhere,
right, yeah, but what's yourlegacy?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That I, that I made an impact, that I, that, if you
know, I, I want everybody tohave a memory that, oh my gosh,
I'm so grateful that Sharon, youknow, did this and if it
weren't for Sharon, I was ableto move past this.
You know that that's what Iwould love.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
And how do people reach out to you if they want
you to help?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
them make an impact on their life.
So you can find me at mywebsite, which is
wwwsharonnvedanocom, and I haveworkshops all the time that are
free and I give out some.
You know the free zoomworkshops.
I do speaking engagementswherever I can go so that people
will listen to me and, yeah,learn some tools in my workshops
(27:39):
and then, you know, walk awaywith that and if you want some
more than we can have aconversation, we can have a
discovery call.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
And you and your husband do.
Before we go, one more thing Ilove your project.
Can you tell us just a littlebit about the project that you
guys are working on?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yes, so because my husband is married to a life
coach.
One day he dove right in andsaid you know what I would love
to star in my full feature movie.
So he has been an actor for awhile while he was doing his
other job as in a marketing firm, and he said you know what?
(28:12):
This is what I would love.
So we actually co-wrote,produced a movie and it's
already in the can, and so nowwe are on the final legs of it
and we are crowdfunding on thisone.
It's a beautiful movie calledTouch the Movie and it's about a
retired police officer who allof a sudden has to take care of
(28:36):
his autistic granddaughter andit's the transformation of their
relationship between the two ofthem.
It's absolutely beautiful.
But yes, we're crowdfundingright now, or just getting out
there letting people know aboutit, just to get us to the finish
line, so we can get it out tofestivals.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And can people see some sort of like a trailer or
something on that?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yes, yes, I will.
I'd be glad to send that to you.
So there's like behind thescenes and we call it a sizzle
reel just to show the theproduction quality it's.
It's a beautiful movie, so yesI'll get that to you.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I was very lucky to watch some of that as well and I
think that it's good.
It's a beautiful thing to offerthe world in addition to your
coaching, so I would love to addthat.
So I'll add your, your, all ofyour information for those
listening, as well asinformation on the trailer for
people to watch your sizzle reel, just so they can see.
I think that even even watchingthat for me gave me an
(29:27):
understanding of your heart,Because to make that movie and
to to write that movie, producea movie, do all of that with
that movie shows where yourheart is at.
So that's why I wanted to bringit up and mention it.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I appreciate having you on the show and I will, like
I said, I'll put everything inthe notes so people can reach
out to you and hopefully you canhelp change some more lives.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Very good.
Thank you for having me.
off love which ultimately grew from her
connection to spirit.
So welcome, Thank you forcoming.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Absolutely so.
When we met we we were talkingabout various different things.
I had just done a speech myselfon trauma and all of those
different things and trying tobe bold and making changes and
you shared with me your story.
So can you just kind of get usstarted with the origins of your
story?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Yes, so I am a second generation Korean Filipino,
only child of my immigrantparents and with all the
traditions of Korean Filipinoculture they were.
They were very strict onacademics and socials.
Basically going out, I wasn'treally able to go out.
I wasn't really able to hangout with friends, I wasn't
(00:54):
allowed to date, especiallywhile I was in school and I had
all of the I guess, thestrictness of academics.
So I remember one time I camehome with a B plus and I got
chewed out by my dad where hesaid that the B plus was way too
close to an A minus, so thatyou know, times 1000.
(01:16):
Over my whole childhood Istarted to hear from my parents
that whatever I did I was notgood enough.
So carried that along throughmy young adult years.
Here I am now because I don'thave the ability or the
knowledge of how to hang outwith friends, how to meet boys,
how to talk to them, anythinglike that.
So I didn't have a lot ofsuitors coming after me and I
(01:40):
didn't know how to talk to boys.
So when the first boy showed meany attention in college I
thought, oh wow, you know helikes me and you know part of me
was like oh well, I got to makethis work because I don't know
if there's another boy that'sgoing to come around.
No, don't get me wrong.
You know I did like him, hecared for me and ultimately we
dated for about seven years andwe ultimately got married.
(02:03):
But hindsight is always 2020,which we always realize and the
marriage was rocky from thebeginning and the relationship
was rocky for the beginning.
But I didn't know any better.
I always wanted to make it work.
So as I continued to make itwork, as it was very rocky, I
started to realize, oh, you knowwhat I feel alone in this
(02:24):
marriage.
He was a great provider, but asa provider, I felt he wasn't
emotionally present for me and,ultimately, to my children as
well.
So we went through therapy onand off over the over the 17
years that we were together onand off and went to therapy and
(02:46):
stuff, and at some point thetherapist had indicated that he
had he appeared to have somenarcissistic traits.
So throughout the marriage andrelationship I started to hear
the message that I was notworthy of his time and money.
So now couple that with for myparents, where I'm not good
enough, so I carry that with mefor a very long time, yeah we
(03:10):
step back.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
So I know your parents gave you the indication
or the feeling that you were notgood enough.
Have you?
Have you forgiven them?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
Yes.
So through all my work learningabout just in my journey about
growth and self love, I startedto realize that my parents were
basically they were doing theirbest at the time.
They I know they love me, so Inever doubted that they loved me
, but I knew that now I knowthat they were just doing their
(03:41):
best.
They, they were doing what theythought that that all they knew
really.
I just want to add to thatstory too when I left my
parents' house, I ran away at 19because they were so strict,
and I was estranged from myparents my dad for about 10
years and then estranged from mymom for about three.
So so yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
So Asian culture in general is very strict, yes, yes
, especially when it comes togrades and what.
What is the belief as to awoman's worth in in your culture
?
Speaker 2 (04:17):
Um, I think typically it's um, very much just, kind
of just, you're there, you serveand you're quiet, so you really
don't have a voice.
I remember going to a when Iwas in my young adult years as a
, as a college student, I wentto a young adult group.
We attended a Korean, koreanlanguage church service and my
(04:42):
dad started to become part ofthat community and we went to
several of their events and Iwas really noticing the
differences between theirculture and American culture and
, and I'm sure they honor theirwives in their way, you know.
But it was very, very, veryshocking to me and the very
traditional culture.
The men would sit at the diningtable while the women and
(05:04):
children were in another roomduring this party and they were
in another room sitting at thelow tables on the ground and
whenever the men neededsomething, the women would get
up and serve the men.
Yeah, which, and that'straditional, but it was, it was
a.
It was a shock to me.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
And even in like America, you kind of still see
that going on right, Like, eveneven as it evolved um,
supposedly um country, I stillwill get up and, you know, do
more than my husband would asfar as like serving and stuff
like that.
So I think, even if it's not acultural thing, it's just
something, that it's a societalthing, that women are taught to
serve and be quiet and just kindof that's.
(05:44):
That's half of the problem,right, we don't get to actually
say what we feel because we needto just serve and take care of
others, including children.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Right, right.
And I and I, and I understandthat you know there's
differences between masculineenergy and feminine energy, and
women have that natural energyof of being the nurturers and
the servant heart and and themen are the men tend to be the
task oriented, you know, getthings done.
And I understand that.
I think that the that I guessthe art is balancing that within
(06:15):
a relationship.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah, and so the the not being good enough or not
being worthy or whatever thecase may be, and then finding
somebody who showed you just alittle bit of attention.
You think that is what broughtyou.
Basically, you felt like nobodyelse would be interested in you
, and then the attentionprobably felt good.
Right, I would imagine.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Oh yeah, yeah, I remember being, you know, not
that girl where the boys wouldgive attention to you.
I remember I was havinggirlfriends where you know the
boys would ask them out and showthem attention and flirt with
them and I always felt like Ihad, you know, like I will get
the second look almost.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
So, and narcissists tend to be drawn to the person
who doesn't feel worthy.
Speaker 2 (06:59):
Yeah, I start to realize that and I as the
relationship went further along,and then I started to say you
know what I?
I think I, I want more thanthis.
I found myself one day saying Ithink it would be okay if I was
in a marriage where we werejust friends.
And I noticed that thought andI thought you know, no, I really
(07:24):
do want more than that.
And then that was, I think, thebeginning of me starting my
steps to really just end themarriage.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
At that point Was there a turning point, was there
one moment that just shiftedeverything?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
I think it was.
No, not really.
I think it's.
You know, everyone says everyevery now and then friends will
say, well, was there infidelity?
Where is this?
There really wasn't.
Like I said, he was a goodprovider and it was just like
what did they say?
Cut a death, death by 10,000cuts, or something like that.
I don't know what the saying is, something like that.
I'm sure I messed that up.
(07:59):
So, um, but it it.
You know, it's just 10,000little things, that it's just
like little cuts.
Saying, you know that I don'tthink you're worth my time, I
don't think you're worth mymoney I, you know, not being
thoughtful, and I not that I'mmaterialistic or anything like
that, but I, I, you know, I wantto be cherished, you know.
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So yeah, and so he would actually say you're not
worth my time.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
No, no, I never.
Yes, yes, so just to be, justto be transparent, he never said
those words.
It was actually he probablysaid he loved me almost every
day, you know, but the actionswere, were very different.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
So what actions did you feel like showed you that?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Just like when we would go when we.
I remember one time we neededan appliance in the house and I
said you know what I would?
I would love for us to havethis, this one appliance.
I think it was an oven at thetime.
Oh no it was a garbage disposalat the time, oh no, garbage
compactor, that's it.
And then he's like, oh no, wedon't, we don't need that
Because it is, you know, itdoesn't take a lot, it doesn't
(09:05):
take a lot of trash, or whateverhis reasons were, and it was,
for example, six hundred dollars, whatever it was.
And then no, no, we don't needthat.
But then all of a sudden hesaid oh, but here's an ice maker
, we could really use that youknow, and it was the exact
amount six hundred dollars.
But you know it was, it was a nobrainer.
You know if that was somethingthat he wanted versus something
that I said that I would lovefor our house.
(09:26):
So examples like that you know10,000 times over.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
So yeah, just just counting what your needs and
wants are yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
What did your parents think when you got divorced?
They, uh, we were divorcedtwice.
So long story, yeah.
So we were divorced twice.
The first time I really didn'ttell anyone.
I didn't tell anyone in myfamily.
So first my dad was estrangedfrom myself, so we didn't talk
(09:59):
for 10 years and at the time Iwas speaking with my mom so.
But I didn't tell my mom oranyone on my mom's side, because
I knew that would be kind oflike he would be dead to them if
we were to ever reconcile atthat point.
So, um, so they never reallyknew so what?
Speaker 1 (10:14):
made you go back to him if you were already divorced
.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I had.
At the time I had a.
I think he was a six and athree-year-old, so in my mind it
was like a no brainer.
If I can save my marriage anddo everything I can to to save
this marriage for the sake of mykids, I would.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
What made you get divorced the first time?
Speaker 2 (10:35):
He asked for the divorce, the first time.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Oh, what was his reasoning?
Speaker 2 (10:39):
That this was not the life for him.
You know, he felt tooconstrained in that life, so
that was not the life for him.
So how did that feel?
Well, you know, it added to mystories that I was telling
myself so.
But then at that point I startedtaking massive action I took, I
went to therapy, I startedreading all kinds of books, I
(11:00):
started really doing my work onmyself.
And then I went back to work,because I was fortunate enough
to be home when the babies werelittle, for a little bit each
time, and I went back to workand I really just started really
working on myself.
And then I was growing myself-worth at that point.
So, but at that point, afterthe divorce was final, that's
(11:23):
when he, I guess he realized, oh, you know what I really messed
up with my family and I insistedon he go with me to couples
therapy.
So we did, we did for about ayear so, and he worked, we
worked really hard and he reallydid work really hard to make
sure that we were a priority.
And then so we remarried andafter about probably about three
(11:47):
or four years, it just itstarted to slowly go back to the
way it was.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
Right, yeah, kind of like the honeymoon period all
over again and then, and then itgoes back to we go back to our
old habits.
What's his history like, was he?
What was his childhood like?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
He his parent.
Both of his parents wereteachers.
They were divorced.
So they were separated for avery long time and then they
were divorced.
I think when we were in collegethey actually got the divorce.
That was final.
So they've been as long as Iknew them.
They were separate, but hewasn't, for the most part, an
only child because he had anolder half sister that was about
(12:22):
, I think, 18 years older.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Okay, so he that.
That was kind of my wonder ifhe was an only child, because
sometimes that obviously shapesthe personality itself as well.
Yeah, yeah, it's harder forthem to share.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Yeah, a little bit, although I think I'm very
different.
Maybe, it's because of mystruggles.
Yeah that I became verydifferent.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
I don't know everyone says that I don't appear to
have the only child personality.
So you're an only child, soyou're basically.
Your whole family's legacy wasplaced on you.
Yeah, yeah, talk to me aboutbeing a defense attorney.
Why that?
Speaker 2 (12:57):
So I went into law school, kind of like a default.
I actually went into a businessdegree in college and I
realized I didn't like businessat all.
So the only class I reallyenjoyed was the pre law class.
So the business pre law class.
So I did pre law and I lovethat.
So I decided I'm going to go bea lawyer.
And then I said, well, whatfield am I going to do?
(13:21):
And I started doing all kindsof internships and then in the
end I liked being in thecourtroom because it was very
exciting compared to civil lawwhere you're sitting behind a
desk 90% of the time and Ididn't like that.
I actually clerked for theprosecutor side as well as
defense side.
I actually clerked for theprosecutor side as well as
defense side.
I found the defense side moreenlightening, I think.
(13:43):
So in the end I felt that itwas very important to defend the
Constitution for everyone.
You know, sometimes if youthink that this guy is a scumbag
, you know, and you want to hanghim because he did, you know, x
, y, z, then you can't make anexception for that guy because
we're making an exception foryou and I and you know you got
to protect it for all.
(14:03):
So in the end, I was basicallyprotecting the constitution,
protecting my clients, makingsure the evidence was if it was
obtained, you know, accurately,legally, making sure witnesses
actually saw what they thoughtthey saw, you know, and then I
mean, of course, I defended them.
It was in many times it's notexactly what it is portrayed to
(14:23):
be.
So it was interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
So tell me how you went from your wounds to wisdom.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
So I had some really stressful times at work and
being at work, I started to getvery angry and resentful.
So, as I was being veryresentful, I didn't like feeling
angry and resentful every timeI went to work.
So I said I'm I'm actuallytired of that.
So something in me just saidyou know what, let's, let's
(14:51):
choose a different thought whenwe're dealing with certain
situations at work.
And then I started listening todifferent podcasts and
different writing, all kinds ofbooks, and then I started to
really lean into law ofattraction and all the different
universal laws, which I think Iwas always doing my whole life.
But this was really thecatalyst to my journey of my
(15:14):
becoming of who I am today andafter my divorce I think I was
about two years I didn't dateanyone.
I said, you know, I'm justgoing to be me for a while.
And then I started the onlinedating thing.
That's quite a jungle.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Not as fun.
Talk about meeting narcissists.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Well, yeah, yes, and then I actually ran into.
I was watching a lot ofpodcasts and then and stuff on
YouTube, and then this one coachreally caught my attention.
We really resonated with me, soI started doing like his little
courses here and there, and asI continue to do his little
course, I said this is, this isreally good stuff, and a lot of
(15:54):
it was really rooted in learningto grow your self-worth, really
getting into the energy of theidea of yourself being in that
ideal relationship that youwould love to be in.
And so I took the course.
I loved it so and and it reallyit really brought down all
(16:15):
these principles that I thinkI've been living my whole life,
really put it in a structure,put labels to it, so now it's
like something I can apply allthe time.
So, and as I continue to dothat, I use those tools.
When I started dating and now Imet my husband and he's amazing
.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
I have met him.
He is amazing.
Very nice guy, talk to me aboutbeing a mother and when.
Because the one thing that Ihave found and maybe you'll
agree or disagree is that eventhough we don't like the way
that our parents parented, wecatch ourselves parenting the
same way because it's how wewere taught, right?
So even you can try yourhardest not to do what they do
(16:53):
and then sometimes it's just bydefault doing exactly what they
did that you knew that youshouldn't be doing.
Did you experience that?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I did, but not not to the huge degree of.
I didn't adopt everything thatmy parents taught me.
So because I, because they wereso strict, I really had no
relationship with them otherthan like a mother father.
You know, they were not thetype where I could come and say,
hey, mom, can I, can I talkwith you about something?
You know, we were not closelike that at all.
(17:22):
Actually, growing up, especiallyin my high school years and my
college years, I did everythingI could to get away from them
because I felt everything that Ishared and it wasn't even
something really really deep.
It was like, oh yeah, mom, I'mgoing out with you.
Know, my girlfriend and allcause were a group of.
It was a college, it was mygirlfriend and like six guys,
that was our, that was our crowdin college and we would go to
(17:43):
the movies.
I mean, like I was so bad, wewent to the movies and Denny's,
that's all we did, you know, andhang out at someone's house,
but I got into so much troublejust for being that and staying
out late, like past 12.
I'm like, really, I get offwork at 1030.
How am I, how am I going to beable to hang out with them so?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
a lot of judgment.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yes, so there's a lot of judgment.
So I made a very consciousdecision after I started having
children that I was going to bea very different parent.
So I made sure to speak to mykids when they were very little,
as if they were little peopleand I would hear them out.
But in the end they still haveto do what I said.
But I but I did hear them out,but in the end they still had to
do what I said.
So, but I but I did hear themout.
(18:21):
And even to this day, um, wehave a very, very strong
relationship and I just hadbreakfast with my son this
morning.
He says you know what, mom, I'mso grateful for you that I have
this relationship where I canjust come to you and talk to you
about anything.
There's no judgment, um, justI'm, I'm always here and really
there is no judgment.
In the end, I just want themsafe and happy is really what it
(18:42):
is.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
So what's the difference between your current
marriage and your previousmarriage?
Speaker 2 (18:47):
So this one is Just really like night and day.
I remember thinking and I saythis to other people I said it's
like I didn't know this thiskind of marriage could exist.
You know I thought it onlyexisted in the movies, like in
the Hallmark movie or somethinglike that.
He is very thoughtful, justreally, really thoughtful.
Puts me first, puts, you know,puts my boys and his boys.
(19:12):
He has three boys also.
So there's five boys between us, you know, puts my boys and his
boys.
He has three boys also.
There's five boys between us.
He puts our boys, you know,first.
We are priority.
Complete gentlemen, I had tolearn to how to receive that
Because I was I always say I wasin survival mode because I was.
I was a mom, in a sense, I wasa dad.
I was doing, doing everything Iknew.
(19:33):
When I was dating, I wanted apartner who was also a doer, so
that I wasn't doing, I felteverything you know around the
house, around finances, around,like kids, extracurricular
anything you know.
So, um, he really is just anincredible partner, very, very
um, attentive, um, and he cooks.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
I didn't.
You know, that wasn't one of myboxes.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
God.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Yeah, it's nice to have somebody share those duties
right.
Speaker 2 (20:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Did you ever feel afraid of telling your ex
anything like because maybe youwould be judged, or you just
didn't feel like you had thatkind of relationship versus
maybe your relationship now?
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Yeah, yeah, coming out of my relationship from him,
you know, cause we weretogether seven years before we
actually got married and then wewere probably married, another
on and off, probably almostanother 10 years after that.
There was a lot of issues onmoney.
So he, his, his, he had a goalof just really being quite the
(20:38):
investor, um, and that wasreally his.
You know, that was his prideand so whenever it came to
anything about discussing abouthousehold finances, I was, I was
afraid you know, and it wasjust and he provided, but I I
felt that the energy wasn't,wasn't, it wasn't.
It was very obligatory, you know, and it was, he would give, but
(21:01):
it was like begrudging, youknow so.
So I would always feel anxiouswhenever I had to ask, even if
it was just, you know, extramoney for household bills or
anything like that.
So I carried that.
You know we call a moneyparadigm.
So I carry that with me inthese stories with me.
I had to actually rework a lotof that and then I basically
(21:22):
realized that you know what I?
I am worthy of someone's loveand someone wants to be able to
take care of me genuinely, and Iwas now able to receive that.
So no, those that carried alongwith me for a while.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
So what did your ex think when you started doing
your transformational work?
He doesn't care for it, yeah,so what did that?
How did that, like, affect yourrelationship?
Because you did say he went totherapy with you so he was
willing to do some stuff.
Right, yes, but when we do ourtransformational work, we
basically become a differentperson.
Yes, how did that affect yourrelationship?
(21:57):
And what were?
Well, how was his reaction?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
So when I asked for the divorce, he wanted to go
back to counseling and I said no, and then he had said, well,
but you're not trying if wedon't go.
And I said, well, I beg todiffer, I've been trying for 17
years.
So that's what I said.
And then, so he, and he wasthen, you know, trying to court
me.
(22:19):
You know, now he's beingthoughtful with the flowers and
the candy and the little thingsand then I and I asked him to
stop and he said why?
I said because I know it'stemporary and it's making me
uncomfortable.
So he stopped.
So our divorce was actuallyvery amicable.
It wasn't until I got marriedwhere I think he, he, got a
(22:42):
little put off by that.
So me, I don't, I don't know.
I mean I'm sure it's veryawkward knowing that your former
spouse is marrying someone else.
So but yeah, he got, he, it gota little there, a little bit of
tension once I got married andyou know, I just said you know
what that it?
(23:03):
From where I am right now in myevolution, I just say Okay,
well, you know what that it'sokay, I'm going to honor you at
your current level awareness andI'll just be over here and
that's all you can do, right?
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's your favorite, or do youhave a favorite tool to teach
people?
Speaker 2 (23:22):
Yes, so a lot of it.
What I love to teach people isthe notice, what you're noticing
, really noticing your thoughts,and once you notice that you
have a thought that isdisempowering to you, just
really notice it.
Stop that thought, you pauseand then you move into an
empowering thought which is, youknow, basically an affirmation.
And, for example, I rememberwhen I was dealing with those
(23:45):
money paradigms, I would, Iwould stop, I would pause and
there's like a whole.
I had like a whole event at ahobby lobby and an argument in
my head by myself and my poorfriend didn't know she's
shopping in the next aisle.
I had to excuse myself andbrowse in another aisle, but I
was, I was really repatterningin a hobby lobby, you know, and
(24:05):
really you pause and I, I wasbreathing and I I was saying
because the thoughts were youknow, you're not worthy of
anybody's time and money is whatmy nasty voice was telling me
and I would pause and I wouldbreathe through it and basically
I, my empowering thought was,like you know, shut up, you
deserve a loving relationship.
(24:25):
You know, you deserve a careerthat you absolutely love.
That can, if you, if, whenyou're making so much impact
that you're making a gajilliondollars and and you deserve that
and you deserve a lovingpartner who will love you
unconditionally, that can andthat can include supporting you
and empowering you andsupporting you financially as
well, you know.
So I had to say that empoweringthought on the heels of the,
(24:48):
the disempowering thought,probably about 10 times in Hobby
Lobby Like shut up, yeah, soI'm having this argument in my
head in Hobby Lobby, like on theheels of each other.
Shut up, yeah, so I'm havingthis argument in my head in
Hobby Lobby by myself.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
So I have had many of those myself.
Yes, yes, it's a lot of work,you know there's.
There's a meditation that I loveand it basically in the
meditation it says your, yourmind, is lying to you, right,
because it's trying to tell youthese stories about yourself,
and it's literally lying to you,especially when you're down in
the dumps and you're not reallyfeeling good or you're picking
(25:21):
on yourself or whatever the casemay be.
It's literally lying to you andyou have to go back and remind
yourself the truth.
The truth is that you're worthy.
That's true, yeah yeah, when youhad that conversation, had you
met your husband yet, oh yeah,we were already married.
Oh, and you're already stillgoing through this.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
Yes, yes, but that was right at about the heels of,
or at the time when I wasdeciding to retire from my
attorney position.
So you know, there are somestories now because it's like,
okay, you know, as an attorney,you know you, for the most part,
have a steady, steady amount ofincome coming in.
You, for the most part, have asteady, steady amount of income
(25:57):
coming in.
So the thought of even havingto ask my husband, ask my
husband for $20, you know what Imean.
I would have a panic attack youknow, so yeah, so I was.
I had a lot of repatterning todo on that one.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Yeah Well, cause you were conditioned right.
So obviously.
And so do people ask you like,why would you go from being what
people conceive like a you know, like a prestigious job of an
attorney, to a transformationalcoach?
Like do they do you get a lotof questioning on that?
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I do.
But what's funny is a lot ofthe people, my colleagues in the
attorney field.
They said, oh, good for you.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
And when.
Speaker 2 (26:32):
I go back to visit for like retirement parties or
something.
They said Look at her, she justlooks so alive and happy, you
know, so most people understand.
And they said you know whatthat's.
So, sharon, anyway, to be thatkind of person, that it's, it's
natural, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:48):
What's one thing that you want?
To leave this world with peoplethinking about you Like what,
what do you want?
Then there's like a you know,random question out of nowhere,
right, yeah, but what's yourlegacy?
Speaker 2 (26:59):
That I, that I made an impact, that I, that, if you
know, I, I want everybody tohave a memory that, oh my gosh,
I'm so grateful that Sharon, youknow, did this and if it
weren't for Sharon, I was ableto move past this.
You know that that's what Iwould love.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
And how do people reach out to you if they want
you to help?
Speaker 2 (27:17):
them make an impact on their life.
So you can find me at mywebsite, which is
wwwsharonnvedanocom, and I haveworkshops all the time that are
free and I give out some.
You know the free zoomworkshops.
I do speaking engagementswherever I can go so that people
will listen to me and, yeah,learn some tools in my workshops
(27:39):
and then, you know, walk awaywith that and if you want some
more than we can have aconversation, we can have a
discovery call.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
And you and your husband do.
Before we go, one more thing Ilove your project.
Can you tell us just a littlebit about the project that you
guys are working on?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
Yes, so because my husband is married to a life
coach.
One day he dove right in andsaid you know what I would love
to star in my full feature movie.
So he has been an actor for awhile while he was doing his
other job as in a marketing firm, and he said you know what?
(28:12):
This is what I would love.
So we actually co-wrote,produced a movie and it's
already in the can, and so nowwe are on the final legs of it
and we are crowdfunding on thisone.
It's a beautiful movie calledTouch the Movie and it's about a
retired police officer who allof a sudden has to take care of
(28:36):
his autistic granddaughter andit's the transformation of their
relationship between the two ofthem.
It's absolutely beautiful.
But yes, we're crowdfundingright now, or just getting out
there letting people know aboutit, just to get us to the finish
line, so we can get it out tofestivals.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
And can people see some sort of like a trailer or
something on that?
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Yes, yes, I will.
I'd be glad to send that to you.
So there's like behind thescenes and we call it a sizzle
reel just to show the theproduction quality it's.
It's a beautiful movie, so yesI'll get that to you.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
I was very lucky to watch some of that as well and I
think that it's good.
It's a beautiful thing to offerthe world in addition to your
coaching, so I would love to addthat.
So I'll add your, your, all ofyour information for those
listening, as well asinformation on the trailer for
people to watch your sizzle reel, just so they can see.
I think that even even watchingthat for me gave me an
(29:27):
understanding of your heart,Because to make that movie and
to to write that movie, producea movie, do all of that with
that movie shows where yourheart is at.
So that's why I wanted to bringit up and mention it.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I appreciate having you on the show and I will, like
I said, I'll put everything inthe notes so people can reach
out to you and hopefully you canhelp change some more lives.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Very good.
Thank you for having me.
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