November 24, 2025 • 23 mins
On Barbie Moreno’s From Wounds to Wisdom podcast, Dr. Luissa Kiprono—physician, author, and survivor of abuse—shares her extraordinary journey from captivity and trauma to becoming a specialist in high-risk pregnancy. This episode highlights resilience, courage, and healing, showing how Dr. Kiprono transformed her darkest moments into a mission to heal others. Join Barbie Moreno as she explores powerful stories of transformation and hope.
Chapters:
- Introduction with Barbie Moreno & Dr. Luissa Kiprono
- Life Under Captivity and Abuse
- Escaping Trauma and Rebuilding Life
- The Road to Becoming a Physician
- Serving Women with High-Risk Pregnancies
- Healing Beyond Physical Health
- Words of Hope From Barbie Moreno & Dr. Kiprono
- How to Connect with Dr. Luissa Kiprono
Keywords:
Barbie Moreno, From Wounds to Wisdom, survivor story, trauma healing, abuse recovery, Dr. Luissa Kiprono, resilience, empowerment, personal transformation, high-risk pregnancy, healing journey, women’s health
Know more about our guest!
https://www.instagram.com/drluissak/
https://www.facebook.com/luissa.kip/
https://drluissak.com/
https://telemedmfm.com/
About the host
Barbie Moreno is an Intuitive Mind Body Coach for Mid Life Women. She helps clients understand trauma, the science behind their responses, and the pathways that support emotional healing. She hosts the podcast From Wounds to Wisdom, speaks at events, leads workshops, and guides clients through life changing inner work. To learn more, visit the link in bio.
Season 2
Unraveling the Mind: From Mental Struggles to Inner Strength.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
She was lured across an ocean by her own father only
to be trapped, abused, andsilenced.
But she didn't just survive.
She became the doctor her abusersaid she'd never be.
This is the story of Dr.
Luisa Capruno, a true embodimentof resilience.
And it's one you won't forget.
Let's dive in.
SPEAKER_02 (00:26):
Cheap made.
You abuse me when you want, yourape me when you want.
Miserable, but pretty lucrative.
And my father said, um, youknow, Risa will never become a
physician.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00):
Today on From Wounds to Wisdom, we're joined by Dr.
Luisa Coprano, physician,best-selling author, and
survivor of unthinkable abuse.
Born in Romania and latertrapped in a cycle of violence
in the U.S., Louisa's journeyfrom captivity to becoming a
specialist in high-riskpregnancy is nothing short of
(01:21):
heroic.
Her story is a powerfultestament to hope, resilience,
and the belief that no dream isout of reach.
Welcome, Louisa.
SPEAKER_02 (01:31):
Hi, Barbie.
Thank you so much for having mewith you today.
SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
Thank you.
So I know you have quite thejourney, and I know that uh your
history of being born in Romaniaand then coming to the US.
Can you kind of just give usyour story on how all of this
started in your life and thenwe'll go into what you're doing
now?
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
I was born and raised, um, as you said, in uh
communist Romania.
Had a pretty uneventful kind ofchildhood when it comes to the
love of my mother and mygrandparents.
I did uh my my school there, Ifinished my high school in
Romania.
My goal always, since I was afifth grader, was to become a
physician.
(02:12):
So um I finished high school, Iwas getting ready to pass the
medical school admission exams,uh, which in Romania or in
Europe is a little bit differentthan here uh in the United
States.
Here we have the medical collegeadmission test, which is the
MCAT, which is part of uh theadmission process.
(02:33):
But in um in Romania, forinstance, the number one way to
get into medical school.
You don't get good grades uhinto that particular exam, you
will not pass, you will not getinto medical school.
Very, very competitive.
I took a year off between highschool and uh going to medical
school just so I can preparemyself better.
(02:54):
And during that bridge year, myfather, who was a former
political dissident, he actuallywas here in the United States.
Um, he escaped about 10 yearsprior to that uh year, crossed
the Danube River, you know, gotcaught uh and uh bought really
(03:15):
by the German government.
The Germans took him, he spent ayear in Germany, and then he
decided to relocate to theUnited States.
So, really, through mychildhood, uh I did not get to
know my father.
I only met him twice.
It's just funny because my my mymother's um and my father's
(03:36):
relationship really they datedfor three years and they stayed
married for six months.
And I think it's kind ofhilarious, right?
You shouldn't have gottenmarried, right?
But no, he had very, verythinking, like he decided that
you know family is not for him.
And um, yeah, I got aninvitation when I was 18 to come
(03:56):
and visit America for twomonths, but also to come to
visit him and not get to knowhim.
And you know, just like everychild or young adult or even
adult in their prime, we kind ofhave this very uh primal desire
to know parents that all youknow, I had 50% of his DNA, so I
(04:16):
wanted to meet him.
So um I came here for twomonths, that was my plan, and I
I thought was my father's planas well.
Uh well, it wasn't.
So um he really had the plan andthe desire to keep me here, Two
United States.
Um, but that was not shared withme.
So about uh two weeks into thetrip, the question popped, like
(04:40):
you know, so now that you'rehere, let's just see what we can
do to keep you here.
I was a month shy of the age of19.
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
It's like we're not we're on thesame page.
So that really prompted a seriesof outbursts, let's call it.
Um, on his end.
(05:00):
You know, I was coerced intochanging my name.
He took my passport away, triedeverything under the sun to keep
me here, promised uh things thatnever came to happen once.
The main reason why actually Iwas forced to stay is because
now I was an enemy of the state.
(05:23):
Um, since I could not speak anylanguage, she drafted a letter,
and um, that's what we presentedat the immigration.
That pretty much my doors to goback home were closed.
SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
Before you continue, why did he want you to stay so
bad?
I mean, obviously there's adifference between a parent like
being excited to see their childand a parent basically saying
you can't leave.
SPEAKER_02 (05:45):
You know, if I tell you what uh he told me when I
said that, you'd you're notgonna die.
I mean, it's the most childishuh thing.
SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
I I don't want to be alone.
So he wanted basically to stopyou from going back to home, to
going to medic medical school,to living your life simply
because he did not want to bealone.
And did he not want to be aloneum in a way that was um
inappropriate for you to be hisdaughter, and like he's looking
(06:17):
at you as more of like a partneror mate versus your daughter
being a daughter?
SPEAKER_02 (06:22):
Yes, that was not disclosed to me.
He remarried, um, he actuallycame to the United States with
his second wife.
Um, he had uh another child withhis wife, and then um about a
year before I arrived here inthe United States, he went got
divorced, but he also lost lostcustody.
So I believe that is whatprompted his invitation, which
(06:45):
to me is a very, very unhealthyand untrue way to lure in okay,
an 18-year-old child, yourchild, you are her parent.
You cannot consider someone yourchild when you have not seen
that child for ever in yourlife, right?
Because it's really not whobirthed or who donated the
(07:08):
sperm, right?
It's whoever raises you.
I mean, it took me a while torealize that he never looked at
me as his child, as hisdaughter.
He looked at me, like you said,like a partner, like a maid.
I used to say, Well, I'm such aI'm such a cheap maid.
I'm you know, except for a bowlof food and you know, one dollar
(07:30):
a week, you know, can get inthat.
You know, you abuse me when youwant, you rape me when you want,
um, you put me to work and takethe money when you want.
So, I mean, that's a prettymiserable but pretty lucrative
uh you know arrangement on hisside, you know, like any abuser.
SPEAKER_01 (07:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, and the sad thing isthat you just wanted to get to
know your father.
SPEAKER_02 (07:56):
Seven years has passed.
Um, and um in the meantime,after of course I learned the
language, uh, worked a lot ofjobs, got my real estate
license, um, all the money wouldgo to him.
Uh, I started taking classesbecause that was one of the
things that um we really we hadan understanding to bring my
(08:18):
mother here to the UnitedStates.
So as he put it to reunioniteour family, second, to allow me
to go to medical school.
Neither one could have come topar the day of when I put my
paperwork into immigration thatvery evening, I said, Okay,
(08:39):
well, now that you had it yourway, and I signed this and now
I'm stuck here.
Uh, let's work on my mother'spaperwork.
And he said that your motherwill never come here as long as
I live.
SPEAKER_01 (08:53):
What a betrayal.
SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
And the second part, um, you know, he kept saying
that, oh yeah, you you'll becomea doctor, you'll you know.
The only thing, Barbie, isagain, remember the system?
We don't know the system.
Of course, you can be a doctor,of course you can do that.
Well, you know, the evil is inthe details.
So um, yes, he painted a verygood picture that yes, that is
(09:16):
possible, yes, but it's notachievable in the Romania, for
instance, or Europe, after youfinish high school, you do
medical school for six years.
There is no undergrad.
See, I did not know that.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
And you wouldn't know how to research it because
I'm sure back then there wasn'tthe internet.
SPEAKER_02 (09:35):
And I can't I can't speak the language.
SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
You can't speak the language, exactly.
And your only source ofinformation is your father who
continues to lie to you.
SPEAKER_02 (09:42):
About um a year before I got my citizenship,
October 1990, he allowed me togo home to see my mom.
Um, or maybe it was September.
It was right there in the fall,five days, um, very short
because um, you know, that's allI got, but also because he would
schedule right before we wouldstart taking a course.
(10:05):
Because I was not taking aprogram, I was just taking
courses here and there.
The big long lie uh that I keptmyself because that's all I
knew.
I went home to see my mom, andmy mom pulled me away and says,
you know, I really want to talkto you.
She gave me thousand lei.
In Romania is a lot of money,especially uh, you know, the
salary she was making.
(10:25):
So I said, No, I can't take yourmoney.
I'm supposed to take care ofyou.
Now remember, now I am like 26years old.
I should be taking care of mypoor mother.
I she shouldn't have given memoney, right?
I I live in America, Barbie.
Right.
It doesn't right.
So uh she says, Well, just Iwant you to have them because
you never know when you needthem.
(10:46):
And I said, Well, mom, don't youknow, I don't want you to worry,
I'm fine.
My mom never knew the thehorrible secret I'm carrying.
Uh, when I become a doctor, um,you know, you come there and
live with me.
And then she proceeds to tell methat she talked to my father um
a couple of days before that.
Nothing is panning out of whatyou you promised her.
(11:07):
And my father said, Um, youknow, Teresa will never become a
physician.
She will do a very goodsecretary in my real estate
business.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
Your mom tells you that, right?
And you go back.
What what is the reason why youdon't stay in Romania?
SPEAKER_02 (11:26):
I consider that my fault.
SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
Which is very victim, like most victims do,
right?
We think that it's our fault.
We did something.
SPEAKER_02 (11:34):
For believing in this matter, right?
For coming here, for believingin all those promises.
You wanna you wanna believe thedream, right?
To have a family, the dream tobecome a doctor, to have your
mother and your father togetherthat they never had.
So when you do that and yourealize that nothing is panning
out, what I have decided, youknow, it's my fuck up, I gotta
(11:58):
fix it now.
So all those years it was myself-punishment that I will have
to become a doctor on my own inAmerica.
I am not going back home with myhead down and admitting or
accepting the fact that Ifailed.
So I took the money, I came homeback to America.
(12:21):
He left in December of that yearto come visit Romania for two
weeks.
And during that month, um, justmiracles kept coming.
I got my citizenship uh onDecember 3rd, 1993, with the
help of my best friend, uh,because I had no car.
I had a driver's license, but Ihad no car.
I was blessed to actually putsome of that money down that I
(12:45):
had from my mom, succeeded toget a loan for a secondhand car.
I was working at a supermarketin uh New Hampshire.
They uh promised me a week.
I applied for a second job inbanking, got a one-bedroom
apartment.
It just happened.
SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
And he's in Romania, so he has no idea what's going
on right now.
SPEAKER_02 (13:01):
If I'm not escaping now, I'm not gonna escape.
I mean, like this nothinghappened because you know, he he
will take the car away from mebecause I learned a lot during
this time.
I didn't have internet, I wasstill typing on a typewriter.
I didn't have a phone except forthe house phone and so forth.
So when he came back, I pickedhim up from the airport and I
handed him the letter tellinghim that I will be moving out
(13:23):
and the only relationship we'llhave from there on would be, you
know, meeting out for coffee orfor lunch and discuss this very,
very platonic as thought.
What did he say?
He tried to hit me and I calledthe police.
When they came, uh, they askedme what's going on.
So I said, Well, you know, myfather tried to hit me, uh, belt
me, and uh said that I'm movingout.
(13:45):
He says, Well, you can't stopher.
She's an adult.
And the audience, me and oneasked, is like, okay, so why
didn't you tell the police then?
I get this question again allthe time.
What exactly would I have hadaccomplished?
Become another statistic, becomethe talk that the newspaper
article of the day, and thenwhat?
SPEAKER_01 (14:02):
Yeah.
You just wanted to move forwardin your life.
Your goal was to become adoctor, you just wanted to move
forward in your life, and youachieved that goal through all
of this adversity.
SPEAKER_02 (14:11):
Yes.
Um, I went back to schoolin '95.
From when I moved to '95, I Iworked three jobs.
Uh that is something veryinteresting that we as humans,
you know, when we get out ofthis very adverse situation, you
know, we just got home, right?
Like, okay, I'm gonna take thebulls by the horns.
It's not my life, it's mine now,I will make it happen.
(14:33):
But truth be told, the realityis life hits you hard because
you still have to pay bills.
I was living life, but that isnot the life I wanted to live.
And you start being complacentand never happy.
Um, 1994.
I finally succeeded to bring mymom here for a visit.
One day, I believe you'llappreciate this particular part
(14:55):
from the book.
It was a holiday.
We just got out of mass.
Uh, we went to Mass inManchester, New Hampshire.
It was cold, but it was snowing.
And I walk in the path with mymom, and all of a sudden she
stopped.
I was still walking.
So I turned around and said,Hey, what's up?
Looked at me, square, you know,fair square and asked me, What
(15:16):
about you, Louisa?
What about your dream?
And I was like, Mom, don't yousee how much I work?
I don't know.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
The funny part was, she saidnothing.
But that moment, it dawned on methe fact that I I was losing
this dream of mine, girl.
So, in a way, he was winningagain.
(15:39):
And at that moment, I said, no,I will do everything in my power
to go back to school.
So she left in uh January 1995.
In February, I put myapplication for undergrad.
I did have some classes thatthrough seven years I
accumulated, but not the degree.
I and I got accepted to do myundergrad um in Lower
Massachusetts and finished myundergraduate.
(16:00):
I took a year off to do researchin Boston, accepted the HPSP
program, which is the HealthProfessional Scholarship Program
through the Air Force, whichpretty much is offered me a free
ride to go to medical school,but based on my academic
achievements at the age of 35, Igraduated medical school.
Congratulations.
What did it feel like?
If I could cry today, it just umwell, but let me say this turn
(16:26):
it from crying into actually youknow how much how many more
slaps kid life gives us?
Plenty, right?
Um, my first son and um my bagof water ruptured at 25 and a
half weeks.
The only thing was it was theday of my graduation.
Oh wow, at two in the morning.
So I never made my graduation.
(16:47):
I never walked to my graduation,I never received my diploma in
my hands.
Although it's behind me, and ofcourse I eventually got it.
They actually I called the deanand I said, You must send me the
diploma.
I'll send you a career, I'llsend you my husband, you're
gonna give it to my husband.
Because it was, and I hung it inthe in the hospital room above
(17:08):
my bed.
But it was like, okay, how howmuch how should I fight for this
diploma for the love of God?
But it was amazing.
Every time a nurse would comeinto my my room that day, like,
hello, Dr.
Kibranum, and I was likeballing.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
If we could fast forward uh um what you're doing
your purpose now, you work withhigh-risk pregnancies.
Where did that come from?
Why?
Why that why that specialty?
SPEAKER_02 (17:36):
I think it's something subconscious, really,
because I really become asurgeon.
And then I did my surgeryrotation, I hated it.
So I did OB, I do W G Y N, and Ijust fell in love with it.
Um, but I think it's more thanthat.
It is something there that islinked to my desire to heal
(17:59):
people, to take, you know, togive them back their health,
specifically women.
When a woman is pregnant, ishigh risk, to me, it makes it so
much more given that healthybaby, to have a healthy
pregnancy.
And I think it's just my desireto help people then morphed into
to help women, but not onlythat, physically, but mentally.
(18:21):
A lot of our high-risk uhpatients are you know, have a
lot of mental health.
Try very hard to explain to themthis is not a stigma, this is
the diagnosis they treatpregnancy, that you know you can
overcome it with the right kindof therapy.
The listeners, especially womenlisteners, to to hear me out
(18:43):
here.
This is not a shame, it's adiagnosis, just like you would
have diabetes, just like youwould have high blood pressure.
So, yes, it's okay to have to bemedicated during pregnancy.
SPEAKER_01 (18:56):
Because you're specifically talking about like
depression, anxiety, anxiety,depression, PSD.
SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
Um, we have a lot of patients uh with abuse, with
history of trauma.
Um, and really that's how itmanifests.
Um, it gives them triggers,scare for their lives.
Their lives don't really, forthe most part, I tell you, the
vast majority of my moms orpregnant patients out there
don't really care anymore aboutthemselves and their health once
they get pregnant.
Not too long ago, I had apatient had to choose
(19:26):
termination by the end of herfirst trimester where the babies
all formed.
I could have said, hey, youknow, it's your fault, or I
could have said, Well, you know,it's because you did all this,
right?
No, well, what's good is gonnado?
That's not the point.
The point is not to assignblame, the point is as a
patient's best advocate, right?
(19:48):
A support system, a supportsystem.
She had no support system,Barbie.
She had no place to sleep, shehad no money, she had no job.
What am I gonna do?
Just beat her down when she'sdown.
I mean, really, we are allhumans and we all make mistakes.
Right and she did it withoutknowing.
So instead, one could say, whichI said, just take this as a sign
(20:10):
of a wake up and say, I have todo this for myself without
judgment or shame, and I willstraighten out whatever wrong
I've done in the past, then thenext time I'm pregnant, I will
do it right.
SPEAKER_01 (20:25):
As we wrap up, we heard your story about, I mean,
a terrible experience with yourfather, um, and your desire to
be a doctor, at which you had 35years old because you never gave
up.
So, what would you tell ourlisteners?
What would be a last um thoughtor tool or wisdom that you would
(20:45):
give to them about just life ingeneral, maybe, or whatever it
is that you feel like you wantto give them?
SPEAKER_02 (20:51):
We are all afraid of failure.
We all have wounds.
Instead of dwelling in thosewounds, let them become scars
and let them heal and let it go.
If you don't, you're gonna livein the past.
I have three questions that Ialways pose to my audience, and
it is what did I learn?
What drives me, and what's in myrainbow?
(21:12):
What did I learn from my pastthat it cannot be undone?
Right.
It is what it is, but what I cando is I can let it go.
Nothing to forget, but you mustforgive and let it go.
It heals you as a person.
The second is what drives me tome, is it my accomplishments?
(21:33):
You know, you can say, God, I amall this good, I have all these
qualities, I can make it lifebearing all the hardships and
all the hard work.
Okay.
Or you can say, you know, I haveall these handicaps and I can't
do anything, and I'm just gonnarot there and feel better for
myself and be a victim.
And I chose the former because Irefuse to become a statistic, I
(21:57):
refuse to feel sorry for myself.
I will overcome what's in myrainbow.
Your dream, your goals are yourrainbow.
You just walk from a lot ofstorms after every storm, there
is a rainbow.
So just look ahead and you say,you know what?
I had a terrible day.
It's okay.
Tomorrow's gonna be a betterday.
SPEAKER_01 (22:16):
People who connected with your story, I don't want to
say enjoyed because I mean therewas a lot of hardships in it,
but connected with your story.
How do they find you?
Because I know you have a book,so you have uh you have um
things, tools that they canlearn from.
How do they find you?
This is my book.
SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
I just wanted to show it to the audience.
Push then breathe.
And then do you have a website?
I do.
So the website is dreluisa withdoublesk.com.
And also I have my own practice,uh telemedicine practice, and
that is telemed, t-e-l-e-m-ed-dm-fm, mic, foxtrot mic dot com.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
And we will put all of that in the description, and
we really appreciate you sharingyour journey with us.
I have no doubt that there arepeople who will see themselves
in your story and take what youhave done for yourself and
remind themselves that they cando they can do anything.
SPEAKER_02 (23:10):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (23:10):
Yeah, I think anything.
SPEAKER_02 (23:12):
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you.
I appreciate your time.
Uh, anything that uh later, youknow, your audience wants to
connect with me or even askquestions, they can always reach
me through my websites uh andthrough my newsletter.
But it's been such a pleasure,Barbie.
SPEAKER_01 (23:28):
Thank you.
Likewise, and again, I will makesure that they have that
information.
So we appreciate you.
If this story spoke to you,let's keep the healing going.
Visit BarbieMoreno.com for myonline course, Awakening Your
Worth in Healing EnergySessions, one on one coaching,
and your free healing guide.
Your next step is waiting.
She was lured across an ocean by her own father only
to be trapped, abused, andsilenced.
But she didn't just survive.
She became the doctor her abusersaid she'd never be.
This is the story of Dr.
Luisa Capruno, a true embodimentof resilience.
And it's one you won't forget.
Let's dive in.
SPEAKER_02 (00:26):
Cheap made.
You abuse me when you want, yourape me when you want.
Miserable, but pretty lucrative.
And my father said, um, youknow, Risa will never become a
physician.
SPEAKER_01 (01:00):
Today on From Wounds to Wisdom, we're joined by Dr.
Luisa Coprano, physician,best-selling author, and
survivor of unthinkable abuse.
Born in Romania and latertrapped in a cycle of violence
in the U.S., Louisa's journeyfrom captivity to becoming a
specialist in high-riskpregnancy is nothing short of
(01:21):
heroic.
Her story is a powerfultestament to hope, resilience,
and the belief that no dream isout of reach.
Welcome, Louisa.
SPEAKER_02 (01:31):
Hi, Barbie.
Thank you so much for having mewith you today.
SPEAKER_01 (01:35):
Thank you.
So I know you have quite thejourney, and I know that uh your
history of being born in Romaniaand then coming to the US.
Can you kind of just give usyour story on how all of this
started in your life and thenwe'll go into what you're doing
now?
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
I was born and raised, um, as you said, in uh
communist Romania.
Had a pretty uneventful kind ofchildhood when it comes to the
love of my mother and mygrandparents.
I did uh my my school there, Ifinished my high school in
Romania.
My goal always, since I was afifth grader, was to become a
physician.
(02:12):
So um I finished high school, Iwas getting ready to pass the
medical school admission exams,uh, which in Romania or in
Europe is a little bit differentthan here uh in the United
States.
Here we have the medical collegeadmission test, which is the
MCAT, which is part of uh theadmission process.
(02:33):
But in um in Romania, forinstance, the number one way to
get into medical school.
You don't get good grades uhinto that particular exam, you
will not pass, you will not getinto medical school.
Very, very competitive.
I took a year off between highschool and uh going to medical
school just so I can preparemyself better.
(02:54):
And during that bridge year, myfather, who was a former
political dissident, he actuallywas here in the United States.
Um, he escaped about 10 yearsprior to that uh year, crossed
the Danube River, you know, gotcaught uh and uh bought really
(03:15):
by the German government.
The Germans took him, he spent ayear in Germany, and then he
decided to relocate to theUnited States.
So, really, through mychildhood, uh I did not get to
know my father.
I only met him twice.
It's just funny because my my mymother's um and my father's
(03:36):
relationship really they datedfor three years and they stayed
married for six months.
And I think it's kind ofhilarious, right?
You shouldn't have gottenmarried, right?
But no, he had very, verythinking, like he decided that
you know family is not for him.
And um, yeah, I got aninvitation when I was 18 to come
(03:56):
and visit America for twomonths, but also to come to
visit him and not get to knowhim.
And you know, just like everychild or young adult or even
adult in their prime, we kind ofhave this very uh primal desire
to know parents that all youknow, I had 50% of his DNA, so I
(04:16):
wanted to meet him.
So um I came here for twomonths, that was my plan, and I
I thought was my father's planas well.
Uh well, it wasn't.
So um he really had the plan andthe desire to keep me here, Two
United States.
Um, but that was not shared withme.
So about uh two weeks into thetrip, the question popped, like
(04:40):
you know, so now that you'rehere, let's just see what we can
do to keep you here.
I was a month shy of the age of19.
I was like, what are you talkingabout?
It's like we're not we're on thesame page.
So that really prompted a seriesof outbursts, let's call it.
Um, on his end.
(05:00):
You know, I was coerced intochanging my name.
He took my passport away, triedeverything under the sun to keep
me here, promised uh things thatnever came to happen once.
The main reason why actually Iwas forced to stay is because
now I was an enemy of the state.
(05:23):
Um, since I could not speak anylanguage, she drafted a letter,
and um, that's what we presentedat the immigration.
That pretty much my doors to goback home were closed.
SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
Before you continue, why did he want you to stay so
bad?
I mean, obviously there's adifference between a parent like
being excited to see their childand a parent basically saying
you can't leave.
SPEAKER_02 (05:45):
You know, if I tell you what uh he told me when I
said that, you'd you're notgonna die.
I mean, it's the most childishuh thing.
SPEAKER_01 (05:54):
I I don't want to be alone.
So he wanted basically to stopyou from going back to home, to
going to medic medical school,to living your life simply
because he did not want to bealone.
And did he not want to be aloneum in a way that was um
inappropriate for you to be hisdaughter, and like he's looking
(06:17):
at you as more of like a partneror mate versus your daughter
being a daughter?
SPEAKER_02 (06:22):
Yes, that was not disclosed to me.
He remarried, um, he actuallycame to the United States with
his second wife.
Um, he had uh another child withhis wife, and then um about a
year before I arrived here inthe United States, he went got
divorced, but he also lost lostcustody.
So I believe that is whatprompted his invitation, which
(06:45):
to me is a very, very unhealthyand untrue way to lure in okay,
an 18-year-old child, yourchild, you are her parent.
You cannot consider someone yourchild when you have not seen
that child for ever in yourlife, right?
Because it's really not whobirthed or who donated the
(07:08):
sperm, right?
It's whoever raises you.
I mean, it took me a while torealize that he never looked at
me as his child, as hisdaughter.
He looked at me, like you said,like a partner, like a maid.
I used to say, Well, I'm such aI'm such a cheap maid.
I'm you know, except for a bowlof food and you know, one dollar
(07:30):
a week, you know, can get inthat.
You know, you abuse me when youwant, you rape me when you want,
um, you put me to work and takethe money when you want.
So, I mean, that's a prettymiserable but pretty lucrative
uh you know arrangement on hisside, you know, like any abuser.
SPEAKER_01 (07:51):
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, and the sad thing isthat you just wanted to get to
know your father.
SPEAKER_02 (07:56):
Seven years has passed.
Um, and um in the meantime,after of course I learned the
language, uh, worked a lot ofjobs, got my real estate
license, um, all the money wouldgo to him.
Uh, I started taking classesbecause that was one of the
things that um we really we hadan understanding to bring my
(08:18):
mother here to the UnitedStates.
So as he put it to reunioniteour family, second, to allow me
to go to medical school.
Neither one could have come topar the day of when I put my
paperwork into immigration thatvery evening, I said, Okay,
(08:39):
well, now that you had it yourway, and I signed this and now
I'm stuck here.
Uh, let's work on my mother'spaperwork.
And he said that your motherwill never come here as long as
I live.
SPEAKER_01 (08:53):
What a betrayal.
SPEAKER_02 (08:54):
And the second part, um, you know, he kept saying
that, oh yeah, you you'll becomea doctor, you'll you know.
The only thing, Barbie, isagain, remember the system?
We don't know the system.
Of course, you can be a doctor,of course you can do that.
Well, you know, the evil is inthe details.
So um, yes, he painted a verygood picture that yes, that is
(09:16):
possible, yes, but it's notachievable in the Romania, for
instance, or Europe, after youfinish high school, you do
medical school for six years.
There is no undergrad.
See, I did not know that.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (09:31):
And you wouldn't know how to research it because
I'm sure back then there wasn'tthe internet.
SPEAKER_02 (09:35):
And I can't I can't speak the language.
SPEAKER_01 (09:37):
You can't speak the language, exactly.
And your only source ofinformation is your father who
continues to lie to you.
SPEAKER_02 (09:42):
About um a year before I got my citizenship,
October 1990, he allowed me togo home to see my mom.
Um, or maybe it was September.
It was right there in the fall,five days, um, very short
because um, you know, that's allI got, but also because he would
schedule right before we wouldstart taking a course.
(10:05):
Because I was not taking aprogram, I was just taking
courses here and there.
The big long lie uh that I keptmyself because that's all I
knew.
I went home to see my mom, andmy mom pulled me away and says,
you know, I really want to talkto you.
She gave me thousand lei.
In Romania is a lot of money,especially uh, you know, the
salary she was making.
(10:25):
So I said, No, I can't take yourmoney.
I'm supposed to take care ofyou.
Now remember, now I am like 26years old.
I should be taking care of mypoor mother.
I she shouldn't have given memoney, right?
I I live in America, Barbie.
Right.
It doesn't right.
So uh she says, Well, just Iwant you to have them because
you never know when you needthem.
(10:46):
And I said, Well, mom, don't youknow, I don't want you to worry,
I'm fine.
My mom never knew the thehorrible secret I'm carrying.
Uh, when I become a doctor, um,you know, you come there and
live with me.
And then she proceeds to tell methat she talked to my father um
a couple of days before that.
Nothing is panning out of whatyou you promised her.
(11:07):
And my father said, Um, youknow, Teresa will never become a
physician.
She will do a very goodsecretary in my real estate
business.
SPEAKER_01 (11:18):
Your mom tells you that, right?
And you go back.
What what is the reason why youdon't stay in Romania?
SPEAKER_02 (11:26):
I consider that my fault.
SPEAKER_01 (11:29):
Which is very victim, like most victims do,
right?
We think that it's our fault.
We did something.
SPEAKER_02 (11:34):
For believing in this matter, right?
For coming here, for believingin all those promises.
You wanna you wanna believe thedream, right?
To have a family, the dream tobecome a doctor, to have your
mother and your father togetherthat they never had.
So when you do that and yourealize that nothing is panning
out, what I have decided, youknow, it's my fuck up, I gotta
(11:58):
fix it now.
So all those years it was myself-punishment that I will have
to become a doctor on my own inAmerica.
I am not going back home with myhead down and admitting or
accepting the fact that Ifailed.
So I took the money, I came homeback to America.
(12:21):
He left in December of that yearto come visit Romania for two
weeks.
And during that month, um, justmiracles kept coming.
I got my citizenship uh onDecember 3rd, 1993, with the
help of my best friend, uh,because I had no car.
I had a driver's license, but Ihad no car.
I was blessed to actually putsome of that money down that I
(12:45):
had from my mom, succeeded toget a loan for a secondhand car.
I was working at a supermarketin uh New Hampshire.
They uh promised me a week.
I applied for a second job inbanking, got a one-bedroom
apartment.
It just happened.
SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
And he's in Romania, so he has no idea what's going
on right now.
SPEAKER_02 (13:01):
If I'm not escaping now, I'm not gonna escape.
I mean, like this nothinghappened because you know, he he
will take the car away from mebecause I learned a lot during
this time.
I didn't have internet, I wasstill typing on a typewriter.
I didn't have a phone except forthe house phone and so forth.
So when he came back, I pickedhim up from the airport and I
handed him the letter tellinghim that I will be moving out
(13:23):
and the only relationship we'llhave from there on would be, you
know, meeting out for coffee orfor lunch and discuss this very,
very platonic as thought.
What did he say?
He tried to hit me and I calledthe police.
When they came, uh, they askedme what's going on.
So I said, Well, you know, myfather tried to hit me, uh, belt
me, and uh said that I'm movingout.
(13:45):
He says, Well, you can't stopher.
She's an adult.
And the audience, me and oneasked, is like, okay, so why
didn't you tell the police then?
I get this question again allthe time.
What exactly would I have hadaccomplished?
Become another statistic, becomethe talk that the newspaper
article of the day, and thenwhat?
SPEAKER_01 (14:02):
Yeah.
You just wanted to move forwardin your life.
Your goal was to become adoctor, you just wanted to move
forward in your life, and youachieved that goal through all
of this adversity.
SPEAKER_02 (14:11):
Yes.
Um, I went back to schoolin '95.
From when I moved to '95, I Iworked three jobs.
Uh that is something veryinteresting that we as humans,
you know, when we get out ofthis very adverse situation, you
know, we just got home, right?
Like, okay, I'm gonna take thebulls by the horns.
It's not my life, it's mine now,I will make it happen.
(14:33):
But truth be told, the realityis life hits you hard because
you still have to pay bills.
I was living life, but that isnot the life I wanted to live.
And you start being complacentand never happy.
Um, 1994.
I finally succeeded to bring mymom here for a visit.
One day, I believe you'llappreciate this particular part
(14:55):
from the book.
It was a holiday.
We just got out of mass.
Uh, we went to Mass inManchester, New Hampshire.
It was cold, but it was snowing.
And I walk in the path with mymom, and all of a sudden she
stopped.
I was still walking.
So I turned around and said,Hey, what's up?
Looked at me, square, you know,fair square and asked me, What
(15:16):
about you, Louisa?
What about your dream?
And I was like, Mom, don't yousee how much I work?
I don't know.
I don't think it's gonna happen.
The funny part was, she saidnothing.
But that moment, it dawned on methe fact that I I was losing
this dream of mine, girl.
So, in a way, he was winningagain.
(15:39):
And at that moment, I said, no,I will do everything in my power
to go back to school.
So she left in uh January 1995.
In February, I put myapplication for undergrad.
I did have some classes thatthrough seven years I
accumulated, but not the degree.
I and I got accepted to do myundergrad um in Lower
Massachusetts and finished myundergraduate.
(16:00):
I took a year off to do researchin Boston, accepted the HPSP
program, which is the HealthProfessional Scholarship Program
through the Air Force, whichpretty much is offered me a free
ride to go to medical school,but based on my academic
achievements at the age of 35, Igraduated medical school.
Congratulations.
What did it feel like?
If I could cry today, it just umwell, but let me say this turn
(16:26):
it from crying into actually youknow how much how many more
slaps kid life gives us?
Plenty, right?
Um, my first son and um my bagof water ruptured at 25 and a
half weeks.
The only thing was it was theday of my graduation.
Oh wow, at two in the morning.
So I never made my graduation.
(16:47):
I never walked to my graduation,I never received my diploma in
my hands.
Although it's behind me, and ofcourse I eventually got it.
They actually I called the deanand I said, You must send me the
diploma.
I'll send you a career, I'llsend you my husband, you're
gonna give it to my husband.
Because it was, and I hung it inthe in the hospital room above
(17:08):
my bed.
But it was like, okay, how howmuch how should I fight for this
diploma for the love of God?
But it was amazing.
Every time a nurse would comeinto my my room that day, like,
hello, Dr.
Kibranum, and I was likeballing.
SPEAKER_01 (17:24):
If we could fast forward uh um what you're doing
your purpose now, you work withhigh-risk pregnancies.
Where did that come from?
Why?
Why that why that specialty?
SPEAKER_02 (17:36):
I think it's something subconscious, really,
because I really become asurgeon.
And then I did my surgeryrotation, I hated it.
So I did OB, I do W G Y N, and Ijust fell in love with it.
Um, but I think it's more thanthat.
It is something there that islinked to my desire to heal
(17:59):
people, to take, you know, togive them back their health,
specifically women.
When a woman is pregnant, ishigh risk, to me, it makes it so
much more given that healthybaby, to have a healthy
pregnancy.
And I think it's just my desireto help people then morphed into
to help women, but not onlythat, physically, but mentally.
(18:21):
A lot of our high-risk uhpatients are you know, have a
lot of mental health.
Try very hard to explain to themthis is not a stigma, this is
the diagnosis they treatpregnancy, that you know you can
overcome it with the right kindof therapy.
The listeners, especially womenlisteners, to to hear me out
(18:43):
here.
This is not a shame, it's adiagnosis, just like you would
have diabetes, just like youwould have high blood pressure.
So, yes, it's okay to have to bemedicated during pregnancy.
SPEAKER_01 (18:56):
Because you're specifically talking about like
depression, anxiety, anxiety,depression, PSD.
SPEAKER_02 (19:03):
Um, we have a lot of patients uh with abuse, with
history of trauma.
Um, and really that's how itmanifests.
Um, it gives them triggers,scare for their lives.
Their lives don't really, forthe most part, I tell you, the
vast majority of my moms orpregnant patients out there
don't really care anymore aboutthemselves and their health once
they get pregnant.
Not too long ago, I had apatient had to choose
(19:26):
termination by the end of herfirst trimester where the babies
all formed.
I could have said, hey, youknow, it's your fault, or I
could have said, Well, you know,it's because you did all this,
right?
No, well, what's good is gonnado?
That's not the point.
The point is not to assignblame, the point is as a
patient's best advocate, right?
(19:48):
A support system, a supportsystem.
She had no support system,Barbie.
She had no place to sleep, shehad no money, she had no job.
What am I gonna do?
Just beat her down when she'sdown.
I mean, really, we are allhumans and we all make mistakes.
Right and she did it withoutknowing.
So instead, one could say, whichI said, just take this as a sign
(20:10):
of a wake up and say, I have todo this for myself without
judgment or shame, and I willstraighten out whatever wrong
I've done in the past, then thenext time I'm pregnant, I will
do it right.
SPEAKER_01 (20:25):
As we wrap up, we heard your story about, I mean,
a terrible experience with yourfather, um, and your desire to
be a doctor, at which you had 35years old because you never gave
up.
So, what would you tell ourlisteners?
What would be a last um thoughtor tool or wisdom that you would
(20:45):
give to them about just life ingeneral, maybe, or whatever it
is that you feel like you wantto give them?
SPEAKER_02 (20:51):
We are all afraid of failure.
We all have wounds.
Instead of dwelling in thosewounds, let them become scars
and let them heal and let it go.
If you don't, you're gonna livein the past.
I have three questions that Ialways pose to my audience, and
it is what did I learn?
What drives me, and what's in myrainbow?
(21:12):
What did I learn from my pastthat it cannot be undone?
Right.
It is what it is, but what I cando is I can let it go.
Nothing to forget, but you mustforgive and let it go.
It heals you as a person.
The second is what drives me tome, is it my accomplishments?
(21:33):
You know, you can say, God, I amall this good, I have all these
qualities, I can make it lifebearing all the hardships and
all the hard work.
Okay.
Or you can say, you know, I haveall these handicaps and I can't
do anything, and I'm just gonnarot there and feel better for
myself and be a victim.
And I chose the former because Irefuse to become a statistic, I
(21:57):
refuse to feel sorry for myself.
I will overcome what's in myrainbow.
Your dream, your goals are yourrainbow.
You just walk from a lot ofstorms after every storm, there
is a rainbow.
So just look ahead and you say,you know what?
I had a terrible day.
It's okay.
Tomorrow's gonna be a betterday.
SPEAKER_01 (22:16):
People who connected with your story, I don't want to
say enjoyed because I mean therewas a lot of hardships in it,
but connected with your story.
How do they find you?
Because I know you have a book,so you have uh you have um
things, tools that they canlearn from.
How do they find you?
This is my book.
SPEAKER_02 (22:30):
I just wanted to show it to the audience.
Push then breathe.
And then do you have a website?
I do.
So the website is dreluisa withdoublesk.com.
And also I have my own practice,uh telemedicine practice, and
that is telemed, t-e-l-e-m-ed-dm-fm, mic, foxtrot mic dot com.
SPEAKER_01 (22:53):
And we will put all of that in the description, and
we really appreciate you sharingyour journey with us.
I have no doubt that there arepeople who will see themselves
in your story and take what youhave done for yourself and
remind themselves that they cando they can do anything.
SPEAKER_02 (23:10):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (23:10):
Yeah, I think anything.
SPEAKER_02 (23:12):
Thank you so much.
I really appreciate you.
I appreciate your time.
Uh, anything that uh later, youknow, your audience wants to
connect with me or even askquestions, they can always reach
me through my websites uh andthrough my newsletter.
But it's been such a pleasure,Barbie.
SPEAKER_01 (23:28):
Thank you.
Likewise, and again, I will makesure that they have that
information.
So we appreciate you.
If this story spoke to you,let's keep the healing going.
Visit BarbieMoreno.com for myonline course, Awakening Your
Worth in Healing EnergySessions, one on one coaching,
and your free healing guide.
Your next step is waiting.
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