February 3, 2023 • 21 mins
Interludes are short segments between regular episodes with no editing but WITH leather creaking. It's a chance to hear a little more about what's going on in my life. This time, my experience judging the Mr. Eagle contest here in Wilton Manors, FL.
Ask Edge! Go to https://www.speakpipe.com/LTHREDGE to leave ask a question or leave feedback. Find Edge's other content on Instagram and Twitter. Also visit his archive of educational videos, Tchick-Tchick.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Edge (00:00):
Welcome to full cow, the podcast about leather kink and
(00:03):
BDSM. My name is edge Mypronouns are he him, and I'm
your host. Welcome to anotherintroduce the episode between
episodes have heard raw andunedited, but with leather
creaking. If you're a regularsubscriber to the podcast, you
might notice there's been achange in the production
schedule. Normally this wouldhave been a regular episode. But
(00:26):
instead I am offering aninterlude because I continue to
have some production timelinechallenges with the podcast as a
whole. And I've been working onarranging an interview for the
next episode. I have that prettymuch squared away, and so the
episode will be released laterthis month. If you're curious,
it's about spirituality. But inthis interlude, I wanted to
(00:49):
discuss my recent experiencethis past weekend, judging the
Mr. Eagle contest here in WiltonManors, Florida. Now a lot of
people tend to think that I haverun for titles before that I
made a run for IML, or that I'veheld some local title. That is
technically not true, it is truethat I was Florida leather, sir
2020. But that's because theproducer asked me to kind of
(01:12):
step into the title and holdspace for it during the
pandemic. I didn't compete, Iwas just given it. And I held it
for a little bit over a yearbefore I stepped down. In fact,
having that title is part of thereason this podcast exists. And
all of my social media educationexists. But that is a story for
(01:32):
another interlude. A lot ofpeople might also think I've
judged many contests. Butreally, this was only the second
time I've ever done judging, itwas a lot of fun. But in case
you've never judged a leathertitle contest, it is also a lot
of work. We had six contestants,which for a local title is
(01:54):
really a lot. Normally you'relucky to get three. So to have
six was really a boon. And theywere really good contestants, I
was impressed with all of them.
And I'm not just saying that Ihave high standards. And these
people did a really great job.
You know what's interestingabout Title contests, they sort
(02:16):
of it's it's a subculture of itsown. And what happens is title
holders tend to be judges inTitle contests. And so the
culture gets reproduced. And aspart of that, there are all
these little secret rituals youmay not know about. So here are
a couple of the secrets in caseyou're ever considering running
for title and a lot of it has todo with the interview with the
(02:39):
judges. The interview issomething that takes place
outside of the regular contests,usually behind closed doors. The
judges meet with thecontestants, ask them questions
get to know them. One thing Ilearned is that there is a chair
trick. So you place a chair infront of the judges and you wait
to see whether or not thecontestant sits in it. Let me
(03:02):
tell you don't sit in the chair.
That is a big faux pas,apparently, another one which we
didn't quite experience, butwhich some of the others talked
about is removing your hatindoors. This comes in part,
from military culture and frommilitary rules around covers and
things like that. There are allthese secret formalities you may
(03:23):
not know about. Now, they don'tmake a huge difference on the
judging sheet. In the categoryof manners, I had five points to
distribute. And a lot of thatwas dependent on whether or not
the contestants created thejudges whether or not they
thanked us at the end. But itwas also dependent on the secret
chair and whether or not youchose to sit. So it's not going
(03:44):
to determine who wins the title.
But certainly it is a good thingto know, in case you ever decide
to run for title, take off yourhat. Greet each judge with a
handshake stand. And then whenyou're done, thank each judge
for the handshake as well.
You're welcome. I like to saywhen you know there were seven
(04:08):
judges and six contestants, wehad 15 minutes with each
contestant. So we were in thatroom for hours. But it was also
a very tight schedule. Wecouldn't spend a lot of time
talking to each contestant. Andeach judge got to ask one, maybe
two questions. When it got tome, I would say I'm going to ask
the hard question. And I'm goingto give it to you now as you can
(04:29):
kind of test how well you mightdo. And I framed this by saying
I'm asking the hard question.
Not to be mean and not to tripyou up. But for three reasons.
First, I wanted to see how wellthese contestants knew about
conversations taking place inthe community nationally,
because this title does feedinto IML and they are going to
(04:52):
be on this national stage.
Second, I wanted to see how wellthey navigated the tricky
currents of cancer canceledculture and social media.
Because once you have any title,if you post the wrong thing, not
only can you damage yourself,you can damage the bar and you
can damage the local community.
(05:12):
The third thing I was interestedin is how they would respond if
they didn't know the answer tosomething. Because as a title
holder, you're likely to getinterviewed in any number of
media outlets. And sometimes youjust don't know the answer. So
how do you handle that? So thoseare my three goals. What do you
know about what's going onnationally? How do you handle
(05:32):
Kancil? Culture? How do youhandle situation where you don't
know the question? Here is thequestion I asked them. You're at
to Shay's 45th anniversaryparty. What do you do? Now, none
of the contestants really gotit, because none of them knew
(05:53):
what took place to Shay's 45thanniversary party. And you may
not know either to che is aleather bar in Chicago.
Obviously, it's been around for45 years, and for their
anniversary party, they hadbooked a puppet show, which is
bizarre in and of itself, youdon't normally think about
puppet shows at leather bars.
But be that as it may, it turnedout to be a puppet show that had
(06:15):
racist and transphobic elementsas well as some jokes about rape
the audience, some of them wereheckling, the puppeteer, who
instead of backing down, doubleddown. And a lot of this was
caught on video and posted tosocial media. It caused a huge
outrage in the community inrelation to questions of
(06:37):
diversity, equity and inclusion,which is one of the most
important conversations takingplace in the community today. It
was all of my Facebook for abouta week, people posting about it,
reacting to it, posting newinformation. I didn't chime in a
lot, because what I liked wasthe way that Chicago as a local
(06:58):
community took care of thesituation. There were reactions
from the local clubs who pulledout their business, who made
statements, there was a demandfor accountability from the bar.
They were planned for communitymeeting, they took care of
business, but the largerquestions remain diversity,
equity inclusion. Now, a coupleof the candidates simply said, I
(07:21):
don't know. And I'm like, Thankyou, that is a perfectly fine
answer. The best candidates thatbest contestants, after the
interview, went and found theanswer and came back to us as
judges and said, Here's what Ilearned. That's also a great
trick. If you're a contestant ina title contest, if you don't
(07:43):
know something that they askedyou go find the answer, come
back and give it to them. Now,this is not a theoretical
situation, right? Becauseanyone, any title holder can be
in an event at any moment thatgoes wrong, and what do you do
and in fact, in this situation,Mr. Chicago leather was at that
event, and ended up gettingdeath threats simply because he
(08:06):
was there, even though he leftquite offended. So title
contests are not really aboutthe most popular person, they're
not really about representingthe bar, as one of the other
judges said, the moment you geta title, there is a target on
your back. And how do you handlethat?
(08:30):
The contest itself was reallygood. Again, all of the
contestants, I think, did asuperb job. And I had a lot of
fun judging. Now. I'm notgenerally a judgmental person.
But if you've listened to mycontent in general, you know
that I have strong beliefs abouthow to do leather, and I
(08:51):
acknowledge they are notexclusive. And they are not
singularly true and that the wayyou do leather is perfectly
legitimate, even if I don't tendto agree with it. But when you
asked me to be a judge, thestandards I bring have to do
with my expectations aroundleather. So there's nothing more
(09:13):
and nothing I love more thansitting and watching contestants
parade across the stage in gearand me being able to comment on
it. I think this wasparticularly true for the last
segment of the contest which wasabout formal leathers. And here
I was a harsh judge. For meformal leathers is not just full
(09:34):
leather, meaning you're wearingleather on top and leather on
bottom. Formal leathers areformal. So I have certain
expectations that you will havea leather shirt with sleeves
that you will have leatherpants, and in my head I will
expect you to have tall boots.
Somehow short boots. Don't feelas formal to me, as tall boots
(09:55):
with pants tucked in there Therest of the contest was also
really quite entertaining, wegot to ask them sort of off the
cuff kind of silly questions.
And then you could see how theyrespond and how they engage the
audience. There was a bar wherecomponent which again, I was
able to judge VMI aesthetic, andthere was a jockstrap component,
(10:17):
which again, I was able to judgevia my aesthetic. In the end, we
crowned someone new, who nowwill be on his way to IML in
simply a few months. In general,I don't know that titles are as
important as they used to be. Ifwe go back to the beginnings,
we, as a community had reallybars and magazines, those were
(10:41):
our structures for aspirationalpathways, those were our entry
points into the community. Andtherefore when you became the
title holder at a bar, and thena title holder connected to a
national event, like Mr. Drummernational magazine, or IML, which
became a national and thenInternational, you became the
aspirational model, which iswhat I mean by that is
(11:04):
titleholders used to be both themen we wanted to fuck, and the
men we wanted to be. These days,a lot has changed, in part
because of the advent of socialmedia, but also sort of
dispersal of the community intoa wider society. And for long
(11:24):
time, what the title holder thereason they get a title, what
the title holder had, was up abox upon which to speak, a way
to access an audience, a way tocarry forward their specific
platform, and what they wantedto change and achieve in the
community. I think I'm a fairlygood example of the fact that
(11:47):
you no longer need a title tomake a difference. Part of what
social media has created is anenvironment where anyone can
build their own audience andtherefore shape their own
influence in ways that canimpact the community. You don't
have to be a title holderanymore. That doesn't mean that
(12:08):
I am against title contests oragainst title holders. A lot of
it has to do with individualpeople and what they do with the
title. I've been watching Mr.
International rubber, who is alocal resident here in Fort
Lauderdale. And they've beendoing some amazing things,
helping local homeless people,that's making a difference in
the community. I know of othertitle holders, who simply have
(12:30):
not done as much work. Part ofthe reason I've never wanted to
run for title is because of theamount of work involved. And its
work that never ends. Becauseonce you have a title, you're
always called upon to help thecommunity often by judging other
contests. So not wanting to dothat work, is part of the reason
(12:51):
I've never run for title.
Another reason is because titleholders have to talk to people.
That's pretty much arequirement. As an introvert, I
don't like to talk to people,you know, part of the contest
was selling tickets to raisemoney for the travel fun, you
had to call up the strangers,you had to convince them to buy
(13:12):
tickets. And then evengenerally, as a title holder,
part of your goal was to talk topeople welcome them into the
community. I do not like talkingto people. So I've not run for
Title both because the amount ofwork and because it really calls
for a kind of extrovert, or atleast someone who's willing to
make connections with just aboutanyone. And that does not sit
(13:33):
well with my introvert soul.
Titles can also be really quiteexpensive. Even if you have a
travel fund, you might be calledto do travel in excess of that.
You need really good skills atsetting boundaries, and really
good financial resources, andreally, really good self care
resources to do well as a titleholder. I've also had some
(13:55):
concerns about how it mightswing back and impact my career.
I'm fairly protected in mycareer. So that hasn't been the
primary reason I've never runfor title, but it's certainly
been a factor. And I will sharewith you a secret. This is well
it's not secret anymore, becauseit's on my podcast. One of the
reasons I never run for title isbecause I'm always afraid I'm
(14:20):
gonna lose. And that'sterrifying. Part of that is some
remnant of imposter syndrome.
Part of it is a realization thatI'm not all that, that a lot of
other people bring things to thetable that I may not bring. But
I've always been terrified ofentering a contest and not
(14:43):
winning, and that's part andit's a part why I never enter.
There you go. That's my secretconfession. The whole weekend
was great. They're trying tocraft this as a Florida leather
weekend, which is a great thingbecause Fort Lauderdale is an
ideal place for leather event.
And we have fantastic weather,particularly here during the
winter. We have a lot of cheapflight because we're tourist
(15:06):
destination. We have a lot ofplaces to stay. We have a lot of
bars, we have a lot of venues.
So there are a lot of goodreasons to have a leather event
here at this Florida leatherweekend, and there was the cigar
social, which was Thursdaynight, we were able to have our
first bluff event ever a socialon Friday evening, which was
(15:26):
incredibly successful. That ledinto the contestant meet and
greet, which was really allabout selling raffle tickets.
That was also Friday night.
Saturday, there was a leatherbarbecue sponsored by Onyx. And
then Saturday night was thecontest and a victory party
after and then there was a wrapup party at the ramrod the next
day. I think there was alsosupposed to be a beach event on
(15:46):
Friday. But it was reallyovercast and really a little
chilly for Florida. So thatdidn't happen. I'm hoping that
this event continues to grow, Iwould love to see a significant
event here in Fort Lauderdale.
And honestly, as much work as itwas. And let me tell you, the
weekend was exhausting. I havespent the last couple of days
(16:10):
doing as little as possible justto try and recharge my
batteries. And even despitethat, I would love to judge
again. You know, I've neverreally wanted to be IML. But
here's another secret. I'vealways wanted to be a judge at
IMO. And part of that is becauseI really enjoy the conversations
with people who are running andfinding out what they think
(16:33):
about different things. I likechallenging them. I like probing
their minds with questions thatreally make them think I like
also the sense that I can carrymy vision of leather forward
through these candidates. I cangive points to those who are
doing the leather the way I liketo do it. That's pretty selfish
motive, but I will stand by it.
And besides being a judge atIMO, my other secret fantasy is
(16:58):
to kind of groom a candidate forIML. Really tell them what to
read, have conversations reallyhelp refine their leather
aesthetic, tell them what tobuy, what to wear, all of that
just to see how they do. I've,in general never wanted to be
the person in the spotlight. Ilike being in the heroes or I'm
(17:21):
the Yoda. I like being the Yoda.
I've talked about that insomething maybe one of the
podcasts. I like being the Yoda.
I like being the weird sage inthe forest that the hero goes
and finds and then the sageteaches the hero, all the things
the hero needs to succeed.
That's the role I like. Sojudging contests love that
(17:43):
helping someone as they entercontest. Love that. So that also
means that if you have acontest, and you're looking for
a judge, keep in mind, please, Iwould probably consider flying
lots of places if I had thatopportunity. And also means if
you're a contestant and you wantsomeone to just talk to is going
(18:04):
to ask hard questions and say,What have you thought about what
Haven't you thought about? Whatare you wearing,
you're wearing that don't wearthat wear this, I might also be
the person for you. In general,I think there is a place for
titles still. It's not my place.
It's not where I am called to dowork in the community. I am
called through more educationalvenues, more traditional
(18:26):
educational venues, which I'venow carried over into my social
media. I love titleholders Ilove that they exist, it's
simply not for me. But judging,holding people to standards,
learning about people in a oneon one kind of setting or
something that feels one on one,probing their minds challenging
them. And more than anything,you know, separate secret
(18:50):
fantasy, I would not be my Iwould not at all mind being a
leather stylist. Like you justsay how much money you have. And
we go shopping, and I tell youwhat to wear and how to wear it
and how to stand and how to moveand how to walk. I would also
really love that that's a secretto here's hoping that if you
decide to enter a local contest,that you do so in the spirit of
(19:12):
helping the community and thatyou're very successful. And that
doesn't mean winning. That meansparticipating. Because anyone
who was able to get up on thatstage and Santa front of a bar
full of people and not losetheir nerve, that person is a
winner. Right. So I hope thatfor you. I hope the fertile
other weekend continues to growinto a more significant event so
(19:34):
that maybe you'll come visitFlorida and I can meet you. And
yeah, I hope I get the chance tojudge other contests, or charge
IML or help people as theydecide to go for a title of
their choosing. That's wherewe're at at this interlude. In
about two weeks. I'll have theepisode on spirituality and Then
(19:57):
we'll see, I've continued tostruggle a little bit with
topics and production andlighting up guests and recording
everything. But I'm gonnacontinue to do my best because
so many of you have told meonline or in person or in DMS
that this podcast meanssomething to you. And that's the
only reason I keep doing it. Itcosts me money, not a lot, but
(20:20):
it costs me money. It costs metime it cost me energy. But the
reward I get from all of you, ismore than worth it. So I'm going
to continue to do my best tomake this happen. And that is
also why I'm so super gratefulfor you, that you take time out
of your day to listen, that justmeans the world to me. Because
(20:43):
inside I'm just this weird,geeky fat kid, right? And so you
make me feel valued in a waythat I haven't yet fully learned
to affirm for myself. Thank youfor that. And I hope your
leather journey in or out or atcontests is as blessed as it can
be. Until next time,
Welcome to full cow, the podcast about leather kink and
(00:03):
BDSM. My name is edge Mypronouns are he him, and I'm
your host. Welcome to anotherintroduce the episode between
episodes have heard raw andunedited, but with leather
creaking. If you're a regularsubscriber to the podcast, you
might notice there's been achange in the production
schedule. Normally this wouldhave been a regular episode. But
(00:26):
instead I am offering aninterlude because I continue to
have some production timelinechallenges with the podcast as a
whole. And I've been working onarranging an interview for the
next episode. I have that prettymuch squared away, and so the
episode will be released laterthis month. If you're curious,
it's about spirituality. But inthis interlude, I wanted to
(00:49):
discuss my recent experiencethis past weekend, judging the
Mr. Eagle contest here in WiltonManors, Florida. Now a lot of
people tend to think that I haverun for titles before that I
made a run for IML, or that I'veheld some local title. That is
technically not true, it is truethat I was Florida leather, sir
2020. But that's because theproducer asked me to kind of
(01:12):
step into the title and holdspace for it during the
pandemic. I didn't compete, Iwas just given it. And I held it
for a little bit over a yearbefore I stepped down. In fact,
having that title is part of thereason this podcast exists. And
all of my social media educationexists. But that is a story for
(01:32):
another interlude. A lot ofpeople might also think I've
judged many contests. Butreally, this was only the second
time I've ever done judging, itwas a lot of fun. But in case
you've never judged a leathertitle contest, it is also a lot
of work. We had six contestants,which for a local title is
(01:54):
really a lot. Normally you'relucky to get three. So to have
six was really a boon. And theywere really good contestants, I
was impressed with all of them.
And I'm not just saying that Ihave high standards. And these
people did a really great job.
You know what's interestingabout Title contests, they sort
(02:16):
of it's it's a subculture of itsown. And what happens is title
holders tend to be judges inTitle contests. And so the
culture gets reproduced. And aspart of that, there are all
these little secret rituals youmay not know about. So here are
a couple of the secrets in caseyou're ever considering running
for title and a lot of it has todo with the interview with the
(02:39):
judges. The interview issomething that takes place
outside of the regular contests,usually behind closed doors. The
judges meet with thecontestants, ask them questions
get to know them. One thing Ilearned is that there is a chair
trick. So you place a chair infront of the judges and you wait
to see whether or not thecontestant sits in it. Let me
(03:02):
tell you don't sit in the chair.
That is a big faux pas,apparently, another one which we
didn't quite experience, butwhich some of the others talked
about is removing your hatindoors. This comes in part,
from military culture and frommilitary rules around covers and
things like that. There are allthese secret formalities you may
(03:23):
not know about. Now, they don'tmake a huge difference on the
judging sheet. In the categoryof manners, I had five points to
distribute. And a lot of thatwas dependent on whether or not
the contestants created thejudges whether or not they
thanked us at the end. But itwas also dependent on the secret
chair and whether or not youchose to sit. So it's not going
(03:44):
to determine who wins the title.
But certainly it is a good thingto know, in case you ever decide
to run for title, take off yourhat. Greet each judge with a
handshake stand. And then whenyou're done, thank each judge
for the handshake as well.
You're welcome. I like to saywhen you know there were seven
(04:08):
judges and six contestants, wehad 15 minutes with each
contestant. So we were in thatroom for hours. But it was also
a very tight schedule. Wecouldn't spend a lot of time
talking to each contestant. Andeach judge got to ask one, maybe
two questions. When it got tome, I would say I'm going to ask
the hard question. And I'm goingto give it to you now as you can
(04:29):
kind of test how well you mightdo. And I framed this by saying
I'm asking the hard question.
Not to be mean and not to tripyou up. But for three reasons.
First, I wanted to see how wellthese contestants knew about
conversations taking place inthe community nationally,
because this title does feedinto IML and they are going to
(04:52):
be on this national stage.
Second, I wanted to see how wellthey navigated the tricky
currents of cancer canceledculture and social media.
Because once you have any title,if you post the wrong thing, not
only can you damage yourself,you can damage the bar and you
can damage the local community.
(05:12):
The third thing I was interestedin is how they would respond if
they didn't know the answer tosomething. Because as a title
holder, you're likely to getinterviewed in any number of
media outlets. And sometimes youjust don't know the answer. So
how do you handle that? So thoseare my three goals. What do you
know about what's going onnationally? How do you handle
(05:32):
Kancil? Culture? How do youhandle situation where you don't
know the question? Here is thequestion I asked them. You're at
to Shay's 45th anniversaryparty. What do you do? Now, none
of the contestants really gotit, because none of them knew
(05:53):
what took place to Shay's 45thanniversary party. And you may
not know either to che is aleather bar in Chicago.
Obviously, it's been around for45 years, and for their
anniversary party, they hadbooked a puppet show, which is
bizarre in and of itself, youdon't normally think about
puppet shows at leather bars.
But be that as it may, it turnedout to be a puppet show that had
(06:15):
racist and transphobic elementsas well as some jokes about rape
the audience, some of them wereheckling, the puppeteer, who
instead of backing down, doubleddown. And a lot of this was
caught on video and posted tosocial media. It caused a huge
outrage in the community inrelation to questions of
(06:37):
diversity, equity and inclusion,which is one of the most
important conversations takingplace in the community today. It
was all of my Facebook for abouta week, people posting about it,
reacting to it, posting newinformation. I didn't chime in a
lot, because what I liked wasthe way that Chicago as a local
(06:58):
community took care of thesituation. There were reactions
from the local clubs who pulledout their business, who made
statements, there was a demandfor accountability from the bar.
They were planned for communitymeeting, they took care of
business, but the largerquestions remain diversity,
equity inclusion. Now, a coupleof the candidates simply said, I
(07:21):
don't know. And I'm like, Thankyou, that is a perfectly fine
answer. The best candidates thatbest contestants, after the
interview, went and found theanswer and came back to us as
judges and said, Here's what Ilearned. That's also a great
trick. If you're a contestant ina title contest, if you don't
(07:43):
know something that they askedyou go find the answer, come
back and give it to them. Now,this is not a theoretical
situation, right? Becauseanyone, any title holder can be
in an event at any moment thatgoes wrong, and what do you do
and in fact, in this situation,Mr. Chicago leather was at that
event, and ended up gettingdeath threats simply because he
(08:06):
was there, even though he leftquite offended. So title
contests are not really aboutthe most popular person, they're
not really about representingthe bar, as one of the other
judges said, the moment you geta title, there is a target on
your back. And how do you handlethat?
(08:30):
The contest itself was reallygood. Again, all of the
contestants, I think, did asuperb job. And I had a lot of
fun judging. Now. I'm notgenerally a judgmental person.
But if you've listened to mycontent in general, you know
that I have strong beliefs abouthow to do leather, and I
(08:51):
acknowledge they are notexclusive. And they are not
singularly true and that the wayyou do leather is perfectly
legitimate, even if I don't tendto agree with it. But when you
asked me to be a judge, thestandards I bring have to do
with my expectations aroundleather. So there's nothing more
(09:13):
and nothing I love more thansitting and watching contestants
parade across the stage in gearand me being able to comment on
it. I think this wasparticularly true for the last
segment of the contest which wasabout formal leathers. And here
I was a harsh judge. For meformal leathers is not just full
(09:34):
leather, meaning you're wearingleather on top and leather on
bottom. Formal leathers areformal. So I have certain
expectations that you will havea leather shirt with sleeves
that you will have leatherpants, and in my head I will
expect you to have tall boots.
Somehow short boots. Don't feelas formal to me, as tall boots
(09:55):
with pants tucked in there Therest of the contest was also
really quite entertaining, wegot to ask them sort of off the
cuff kind of silly questions.
And then you could see how theyrespond and how they engage the
audience. There was a bar wherecomponent which again, I was
able to judge VMI aesthetic, andthere was a jockstrap component,
(10:17):
which again, I was able to judgevia my aesthetic. In the end, we
crowned someone new, who nowwill be on his way to IML in
simply a few months. In general,I don't know that titles are as
important as they used to be. Ifwe go back to the beginnings,
we, as a community had reallybars and magazines, those were
(10:41):
our structures for aspirationalpathways, those were our entry
points into the community. Andtherefore when you became the
title holder at a bar, and thena title holder connected to a
national event, like Mr. Drummernational magazine, or IML, which
became a national and thenInternational, you became the
aspirational model, which iswhat I mean by that is
(11:04):
titleholders used to be both themen we wanted to fuck, and the
men we wanted to be. These days,a lot has changed, in part
because of the advent of socialmedia, but also sort of
dispersal of the community intoa wider society. And for long
(11:24):
time, what the title holder thereason they get a title, what
the title holder had, was up abox upon which to speak, a way
to access an audience, a way tocarry forward their specific
platform, and what they wantedto change and achieve in the
community. I think I'm a fairlygood example of the fact that
(11:47):
you no longer need a title tomake a difference. Part of what
social media has created is anenvironment where anyone can
build their own audience andtherefore shape their own
influence in ways that canimpact the community. You don't
have to be a title holderanymore. That doesn't mean that
(12:08):
I am against title contests oragainst title holders. A lot of
it has to do with individualpeople and what they do with the
title. I've been watching Mr.
International rubber, who is alocal resident here in Fort
Lauderdale. And they've beendoing some amazing things,
helping local homeless people,that's making a difference in
the community. I know of othertitle holders, who simply have
(12:30):
not done as much work. Part ofthe reason I've never wanted to
run for title is because of theamount of work involved. And its
work that never ends. Becauseonce you have a title, you're
always called upon to help thecommunity often by judging other
contests. So not wanting to dothat work, is part of the reason
(12:51):
I've never run for title.
Another reason is because titleholders have to talk to people.
That's pretty much arequirement. As an introvert, I
don't like to talk to people,you know, part of the contest
was selling tickets to raisemoney for the travel fun, you
had to call up the strangers,you had to convince them to buy
(13:12):
tickets. And then evengenerally, as a title holder,
part of your goal was to talk topeople welcome them into the
community. I do not like talkingto people. So I've not run for
Title both because the amount ofwork and because it really calls
for a kind of extrovert, or atleast someone who's willing to
make connections with just aboutanyone. And that does not sit
(13:33):
well with my introvert soul.
Titles can also be really quiteexpensive. Even if you have a
travel fund, you might be calledto do travel in excess of that.
You need really good skills atsetting boundaries, and really
good financial resources, andreally, really good self care
resources to do well as a titleholder. I've also had some
(13:55):
concerns about how it mightswing back and impact my career.
I'm fairly protected in mycareer. So that hasn't been the
primary reason I've never runfor title, but it's certainly
been a factor. And I will sharewith you a secret. This is well
it's not secret anymore, becauseit's on my podcast. One of the
reasons I never run for title isbecause I'm always afraid I'm
(14:20):
gonna lose. And that'sterrifying. Part of that is some
remnant of imposter syndrome.
Part of it is a realization thatI'm not all that, that a lot of
other people bring things to thetable that I may not bring. But
I've always been terrified ofentering a contest and not
(14:43):
winning, and that's part andit's a part why I never enter.
There you go. That's my secretconfession. The whole weekend
was great. They're trying tocraft this as a Florida leather
weekend, which is a great thingbecause Fort Lauderdale is an
ideal place for leather event.
And we have fantastic weather,particularly here during the
winter. We have a lot of cheapflight because we're tourist
(15:06):
destination. We have a lot ofplaces to stay. We have a lot of
bars, we have a lot of venues.
So there are a lot of goodreasons to have a leather event
here at this Florida leatherweekend, and there was the cigar
social, which was Thursdaynight, we were able to have our
first bluff event ever a socialon Friday evening, which was
(15:26):
incredibly successful. That ledinto the contestant meet and
greet, which was really allabout selling raffle tickets.
That was also Friday night.
Saturday, there was a leatherbarbecue sponsored by Onyx. And
then Saturday night was thecontest and a victory party
after and then there was a wrapup party at the ramrod the next
day. I think there was alsosupposed to be a beach event on
(15:46):
Friday. But it was reallyovercast and really a little
chilly for Florida. So thatdidn't happen. I'm hoping that
this event continues to grow, Iwould love to see a significant
event here in Fort Lauderdale.
And honestly, as much work as itwas. And let me tell you, the
weekend was exhausting. I havespent the last couple of days
(16:10):
doing as little as possible justto try and recharge my
batteries. And even despitethat, I would love to judge
again. You know, I've neverreally wanted to be IML. But
here's another secret. I'vealways wanted to be a judge at
IMO. And part of that is becauseI really enjoy the conversations
with people who are running andfinding out what they think
(16:33):
about different things. I likechallenging them. I like probing
their minds with questions thatreally make them think I like
also the sense that I can carrymy vision of leather forward
through these candidates. I cangive points to those who are
doing the leather the way I liketo do it. That's pretty selfish
motive, but I will stand by it.
And besides being a judge atIMO, my other secret fantasy is
(16:58):
to kind of groom a candidate forIML. Really tell them what to
read, have conversations reallyhelp refine their leather
aesthetic, tell them what tobuy, what to wear, all of that
just to see how they do. I've,in general never wanted to be
the person in the spotlight. Ilike being in the heroes or I'm
(17:21):
the Yoda. I like being the Yoda.
I've talked about that insomething maybe one of the
podcasts. I like being the Yoda.
I like being the weird sage inthe forest that the hero goes
and finds and then the sageteaches the hero, all the things
the hero needs to succeed.
That's the role I like. Sojudging contests love that
(17:43):
helping someone as they entercontest. Love that. So that also
means that if you have acontest, and you're looking for
a judge, keep in mind, please, Iwould probably consider flying
lots of places if I had thatopportunity. And also means if
you're a contestant and you wantsomeone to just talk to is going
(18:04):
to ask hard questions and say,What have you thought about what
Haven't you thought about? Whatare you wearing,
you're wearing that don't wearthat wear this, I might also be
the person for you. In general,I think there is a place for
titles still. It's not my place.
It's not where I am called to dowork in the community. I am
called through more educationalvenues, more traditional
(18:26):
educational venues, which I'venow carried over into my social
media. I love titleholders Ilove that they exist, it's
simply not for me. But judging,holding people to standards,
learning about people in a oneon one kind of setting or
something that feels one on one,probing their minds challenging
them. And more than anything,you know, separate secret
(18:50):
fantasy, I would not be my Iwould not at all mind being a
leather stylist. Like you justsay how much money you have. And
we go shopping, and I tell youwhat to wear and how to wear it
and how to stand and how to moveand how to walk. I would also
really love that that's a secretto here's hoping that if you
decide to enter a local contest,that you do so in the spirit of
(19:12):
helping the community and thatyou're very successful. And that
doesn't mean winning. That meansparticipating. Because anyone
who was able to get up on thatstage and Santa front of a bar
full of people and not losetheir nerve, that person is a
winner. Right. So I hope thatfor you. I hope the fertile
other weekend continues to growinto a more significant event so
(19:34):
that maybe you'll come visitFlorida and I can meet you. And
yeah, I hope I get the chance tojudge other contests, or charge
IML or help people as theydecide to go for a title of
their choosing. That's wherewe're at at this interlude. In
about two weeks. I'll have theepisode on spirituality and Then
(19:57):
we'll see, I've continued tostruggle a little bit with
topics and production andlighting up guests and recording
everything. But I'm gonnacontinue to do my best because
so many of you have told meonline or in person or in DMS
that this podcast meanssomething to you. And that's the
only reason I keep doing it. Itcosts me money, not a lot, but
(20:20):
it costs me money. It costs metime it cost me energy. But the
reward I get from all of you, ismore than worth it. So I'm going
to continue to do my best tomake this happen. And that is
also why I'm so super gratefulfor you, that you take time out
of your day to listen, that justmeans the world to me. Because
(20:43):
inside I'm just this weird,geeky fat kid, right? And so you
make me feel valued in a waythat I haven't yet fully learned
to affirm for myself. Thank youfor that. And I hope your
leather journey in or out or atcontests is as blessed as it can
be. Until next time,
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