February 27, 2025 • 17 mins
Super Sober Heroes, we’re back with another in-person interview, and this week, I’m sitting down with my friend Dillon! 🏳️🌈💜 Dillon opens up about his journey to sobriety, how a birthday wake-up call led him to quit drinking, and the powerful role of resilience in his recovery.
We talk about:
✨ The moment he knew he had to change
✨ How sobriety has transformed his life and relationships
✨ Finding strength in grief after loss
✨ Navigating the queer community as a sober person
✨ His go-to mindset shifts & coping strategies
Dillon’s story is a reminder that it gets better—and that we are stronger than we ever imagined. 💪
Listen now on all podcasting platforms! 🎧✨
📲 Follow Dillon: @OGDillyDilly91
📲 Follow gAy A Podcast: @gAyApodcast
#QueerSobriety #SoberQueer #LGBTQRecovery #SoberLife #RecoveryJourney #QueerCommunity #GriefAndRecovery #ItGetsBetter #SoberCurious #GaySobriety
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Steve (00:00):
Hey there, Super Sober Heroes.
It's your host, SoberSteve, thepodcast guy here with my friend
Dylan in real life for anotherbrand new episode of Gay A, the
Queer Sober Hero Show.
And I am having so much fungetting to do in person
recordings.
I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful for your beinghere.
So thank you.
Dillon (00:18):
Thank you for having me.
Steve (00:20):
Yes.
And I am also 1, 367 days soberas of today's recording.
And I am also grateful fordiscovering that in addition to
my main 12 step program beingAA, that I also am belonging
pretty well in ACA meetings.
We had a guest on a while back,Melinda.
talking about ACA and at thetime I wasn't ready to hear
(00:42):
everything she had to say, butI'm ready now and I heard it and
I'm going and I'm enjoying thatpart of the journey.
What's been, what have you beengrateful for recently?
What's going on in your life?
Dillon (00:52):
I've been grateful for, I've recently got a new dog, so
that's been bringing a lot ofhappiness and gratitude into my
life and just really good wherelife is at right now.
Got a beautiful home, beautifuljob, beautiful relationship,
beautiful dog now.
So just grateful for just lifein general.
Steve (01:08):
Yeah.
Excellent.
Speaking of gratitude and thingsthat we love, what makes you
happy to be sober today?
Dillon (01:16):
The fact that I have my wits about me.
I've been sober now, 17 monthssince I made that decision and
It's just been, I couldn'timagine myself with alcohol in
it at this point in my life.
It makes me happy that I canwake up in the morning and feel
productive and know that I don'thave to rely on, a substance to
(01:38):
really alter my life or whatnot.
But I'm grateful that where ithas me being able to be the best
version of myself.
Steve (01:45):
Yeah, I love that.
I love the best version of youbecause you came into my life in
your recovery.
I am very glad that led to ourpaths crossing as well and
Speaking of we met in the localqueer Sarasota community.
What makes you grateful forhappy to be part of the queer
community today?
Dillon (02:03):
That sense of community has always been a huge
aspiration and something Ialways, cause I've been a gypsy
my whole life.
So having that sense ofcommunity, no matter.
Where I go, I always try toestablish roots, no matter how
involved I am with or withoutthe community.
The fact that it's there andbeing able to be part of that,
especially in Sarasota where thequeer community, even though
(02:24):
it's large, it's not as largeas, say like Tampa or Orlando or
Miami.
Just being part of that smallniche of community is just
enough to feel grateful.
Steve (02:34):
Yeah, I'm finding that especially with Sarasota being a
smaller community, then it makesit almost like more important to
be out at everything becauseyou're seen.
And when you're not there,you're also not seen.
So excellent.
And so with all of that,especially since I've gotten to
know you more in recovery, I'mexcited to hear a little bit
about how you found yourselfhere.
So why don't we jump in and tellus what your road to recovery
(02:55):
was like?
Dillon (02:56):
Yeah.
Alcohol was 14 was when I had myfirst drink and My friends were
doing it and that's all wepretty much did.
And I remember being 16 yearsold in downtown Omaha, Nebraska,
where I was in the back of a carwith a handle of vodka and a
thing of OJ, and we'd just sitthere and just take polls.
(03:16):
And that just progressed overthe years to where, I never
really identified as having anissue with it, but I absolutely
recognized when I had tendenciesto absolutely abuse it.
But then it got to the pointwhere I was like, I couldn't
just go out and have a drink orgo to dinner and have a glass of
wine.
It was either drunk or not.
(03:38):
And I think up until my latetwenties into my very, just in
probably the first couple ofmonths of my thirties.
Is when a kind of a light bulbwent off.
It was just, it was my 30thbirthday party to where I knew
something had to change.
I had also dabbled intosubstances as well.
(03:59):
And I just remember being at myown birthday party, going,
having to rush to the bathroomto do a key bump and do a little
shooter in the bathroom.
And I don't even remember therest of the remaining of the
evening.
And that was where.
My tipping point was like, whatam I doing?
my friends were all like, theydidn't say anything at the
night, but I have now come torealize we're starting to worry
(04:23):
about me and the conversationsbetween them were starting to be
does Dylan have a problem?
Do we need to get interventions?
And thankfully though, I hadenough self realization in that
moment to realize I need tochange something because I don't
like this version of what'shappening.
And it was from there on that Istarted the relationship with
(04:45):
alcohol.
We had an on and off againrelationship for probably a few
years up until 17 months ago towhere, to do a few sober stints,
try to go three months or sixmonths.
And each time it always ended upwith either a situation, an
external situation or internalstruggle to where I'd always
resort to going to buy a bottleof wine on my way home but it
(05:06):
was 17 months ago where Iremember I had, my last drink
was a glass of red wine and Ijust, I woke up the next day And
I only had one glass and I hadthe worst headache I think I've
ever had, the worst hangoverI've ever had.
And I just woke up and I waslike this is dumb.
and haven't touched it since.
And it been the most empoweringsituation I think I've ever had
(05:31):
for myself.
Just being able to have thatenough self I don't even know
the word I'm looking for, butself awareness.
There we go.
And just the drive just to beable to say, you know what?
This isn't serving me anymore.
Steve (05:42):
Yeah.
Especially with, at that point Ican imagine for many of us, it's
become like a habit where it'snot only just a physical, but
it's mental, emotional.
How did you, after having thataha moment, stick with it?
Cause I'm sure it wasn't justthat one choice, but you had to
choose that every single day andmultiple times throughout the
day.
Dillon (05:59):
I did.
It was, I had a, still a lovelytherapist to this day that I
worked very well with and Wewere working on reframing things
because there was a lot ofpersonal life situations going
on to where reframing was likemy 2022 to 23 that was like my
mantra reframe.
(06:20):
and so I had to almostcontinuously reframe my Outlook
on it and reassure myself that,you made this decision, you need
to stick with it, but alsoreframing it in the sense that
this is actually a good thing.
This is a benefit.
And even when I would put myselfinto social situations where I
would be more prone to drink,then the reframing process came
(06:42):
into feeling empowered.
Okay I don't need to.
Drink to have fun I can be thesober one and I also found
little pockets of empowermentlike oh I can be the sober one
for my friends I can drive, youknow be the designated driver we
can take away the anxiety and itwas just reframing it to be a
supportive thing not just onlyfor myself, but I guess for
(07:04):
everybody else because That'salso the other thing is when you
are out in public people don'task you your story right away.
They immediately think thatyou're going to be doing exactly
what they're doing.
So when I can Be that personsay, i'm not drinking i'm your
dd tonight I don't know.
It's just that sense it givesyou a sense of power and it's
that moment where you get toreclaim that power and it feels
(07:27):
everything that you've all thedecisions you made up to this
for the better has Been for goodand it's a great feeling Yeah,
that's why.
Steve (07:35):
Yeah, it is.
And making that shift, and youtalked about like the friends
who are concerned about yourdrinking, but you've also made
new relationships and recoverythat help keep you sober.
How did you connect with thosepeople?
Because I hear a lot of timespeople say oh, if you don't go
to 12 step meetings, or if youdon't belong to this specific
fellowship or this fellowship,it's hard to find sober people.
How do you connect with soberpeople?
Dillon (07:54):
Honestly for me, it was circumstance.
I think my higher power, or theGrace of gods of something put
people in my life Coincidentallythat we're sober like I did like
honestly, I didn't seek him outmy first real true friend after
I made that decision Who's stillmy friend today Chris?
(08:15):
I think you actually know him Wejust became really good friends.
And then all of a sudden he'syeah, I'm sober.
And I'm like, Oh, I'm sober too.
and then from there it justbecame he introduced me to other
sober people.
And then it alsocircumstantially when my partner
and I got together, he's I quitdrinking a year ago as well.
I was like, it was almost like auniversal saying this was the
(08:37):
right path here people tosupport you along your journey
yeah, that's how it felt andthen of course meeting you guys
and then finding your podcastbecause that's what I think when
you and I first met we startedtalking was like you're this
podcast.
Yeah, I was like, this is suchan amazing thing because I was
new to being sober and eventhough I didn't necessarily
identify as an alcoholic, likehaving this, being able to talk
(08:59):
about it out loud and it was sojust, I'm getting goosebumps.
It was like the universe wassaying, you are doing the right
thing.
Steve (09:06):
You are! Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, I love that.
Yes, Chris is responsible for mygiant monster bag of candy
obsessions.
I'm like mixing them alltogether.
Thanks for that cross addiction.
But, I am now like two weeksclean of my giant monster bag of
every sour candy mixed together.
Yes, I am.
and with that, What kind ofquotes or mantras do you hold
(09:28):
onto that help you stay sober?
Dillon (09:30):
It gets better.
Steve (09:31):
It gets better.
Dillon (09:31):
Always gets better.
And resilience has beenSomething that I very hold
strongly to my heart.
I've had to be resilient myentire life and I feel like
that's helped shape my outlookon things in life because life
is shit.
Life will shit on you at everypossible moment it can, but it's
if you let it continuously dothat when, or if you, reframe
(09:53):
that every situation you aredealt with is meant to be a
learning lesson.
And that's how I have been ableto reinforce that on a daily
basis.
But resilience has beensomething that I've had to lean
on in those times.
but knowing that even thoughthis could be the darkest of
dark, there's always going to belight at the end of the tunnel.
(10:13):
my favorite quote ever that Ilive by is by Albus Dumbledore
from Harry Potter.
Happiness can be found in thedarkest of places if only one
remembers to turn on the light.
Steve (10:23):
Yeah.
Dillon (10:23):
And it's the third Harry Potter book, like 200 pages in,
but don't, Albus Dumbledore,that quote has been my But I
already have words all over mybody, I'd have to get it
tattooed on me.
But it's been something thatI've always, it's been like my
push.
And it's mantra.
Steve (10:38):
Yeah, that's great.
I definitely know that havingthose things to say, that you
can say like over and overagain, help.
Because, yeah, life doesn't getany easier in recovery.
In the past 17 months ofrecovery, what would you say has
been one of the more difficultthings you've had to overcome?
And how did you do it stayingsober?
Dillon (10:55):
Most difficult thing of overcoming is probably the
ongoing grief journey that I'mgoing to late in 22, I lost my
sister and it's something I'mgoing to deal with the rest of
my life.
After she had passed, I remembertelling my mother, I said, I
don't want to, I like that, andthat was when three months stint
(11:15):
where I stayed, I didn't drinkthree months after she had
passed and going to that Irealized I didn't want to fall
to alcohol to numb my pain or todistract my brain from doing
what it needed to do, which wasto grieve.
So I jumped.
Into the grieving journey afterthat situation had happened, and
(11:36):
did the work, worked with mytherapist, and abstained from
drinking as much as possible.
But in those times, though,again, when you can get through
it, and I know it's easier saidthan done, but when you can get
through it, it's just such asense of empowerment, being able
to realize that you handled thesituation without needing to use
(12:00):
that crutch or to use thatsubstance, and I guess getting
through those without the needof alcohol, it's not easy
because, when you are drinking,there's always an excuse to
drink.
Oh, I stubbed my toe.
I need a drink tonight.
Or, oh, I had a bad conversationwith my boss.
I need a drink tonight.
But, falling back onto yoursupport system and having that,
(12:21):
that was a huge help during thattransition from going through
that traumatic experience tothen coming back into and
getting back into work andliving the real life.
It's leaning on your support andthen knowing, trusting yourself
to keep going and stay strong.
Steve (12:40):
Yeah, that definitely takes a lot.
And that is definitely somethingI'm sure will be advice that our
listeners really appreciate.
Now, knowing that you've made somany great changes in your life
over the past 17 months, if youcould tell your sister something
today, what would you tell herabout you or your recovery or
your life?
Dillon (13:04):
Thank you.
Because, I think from hersituation, that I use it to
compare it to a lot.
Because people, for instance,will say, aren't you falling in
love?
Like, when my partner and I gottogether, we had a history, or
(13:25):
this is our third attempt atlove, and when we.
So this is for the example isthat when we got back together,
people are like, aren't youafraid of getting hurt?
Or I just don't want him tobreak your heart again or this
or that.
And my answer has never wavered.
And it's been, I've seen thedarkest of darks.
I've been in the darkest placeof my life.
(13:46):
And yet I am here today.
I'm happy.
And so I say that going throughthat situation showed me that
Even though things can be, itcould be like the world is
ending tomorrow, but I stillmade it through.
And again, I lied at the end ofthe tunnel.
(14:08):
And I wouldn't have been able toreally understand the light
without going through thatdarkest of dark.
And for that I do thank her Ofcourse, yeah, I would rather not
have gone through that situationto have my sister here today,
but that situation has taught meand reinforced that resilience
that I just hold so near anddear and I'm not afraid to go
(14:33):
through tougher situationsbecause I already know that I've
gone through something that is,no one at least in our younger
ages should we experience.
However like I said earlier,life We'll throw you shit.
And it's just how you approachit, but it's knowing that it
will get better.
And so that's what I would say.
Thank you to her is that shestrengthened me.
(14:56):
Yeah.
And it was unfortunate that thesituation happened to get to
that point.
But it's because of her that I'ma stronger person today.
Steve (15:05):
Thank you for that.
Dillon (15:06):
Yes.
Steve (15:07):
And when we are in crisis or when we're stressed or
overwhelmed, a lot of themindset tricks can be very
helpful, but they're also verydifficult when we're like in the
middle of it.
So what's something physicalthat you do to give yourself
like a hard reset?
Whether it's sometimes peoplesay it's like meditating,
praying, going for a run or awalk.
What do you do if you need tolike physically change your
(15:27):
situation before you can changeyour mindset?
Dillon (15:30):
Going for walks, being in nature.
I've always said, even as a kid,that nature and outside is my
God.
That's my higher power.
That's where I connect with justlife.
Cause that's where life startedwith nature.
And that's where anytime I feeloverwhelmed or upset taking a
nice long walk with myheadphones, playing either some
music or listening to an audiobook that shifts my brain and
(15:54):
kind of resets and it's a formof meditation for me, but being
able to just be outside isreally, and then writing.
I've been a huge writer my wholelife as well.
I got like probably six or sevenjournals.
They're all started at randomdifferent times, but if I see
one, I'll just start writing.
Steve (16:14):
Awesome.
Excellent.
Any last words, bits of advice,anything for our listeners
generally on your story?
Dillon (16:21):
Oh, that if there's anything I can leave with is, as
cliche as it is and how peoplealways say, and it's easier said
than done, but life does getbetter.
You could be at your lowestpoint, but if you have the
strength to realize that this isjust the stepping stone to your
next greatness there is always abrighter side.
(16:44):
There is always light over therainbow.
And just always keep on pushingforward because at the end of
the day you matter and youmatter to others.
And so for that, just know thatlife does get better.
Steve (16:57):
Excellent.
Yes.
Life does get better.
I have multiple horrible momentsthroughout each day and then
it's always better.
Five minutes later, I just needto breathe through it.
But yes.
And then on the grander scalehappens as well.
So thank you so much.
And yeah, you don't have to goanywhere cause we're going to
actually be doing this asanother two part episode
listeners.
Stay tuned next week as we diveinto the topic of sex and
sexuality.
(17:18):
But for now, I have all of yourads for your socials.
Do you want to give them outloud to our listeners?
And I'll add them in the shownotes too?
Dillon (17:24):
Yeah! At OGDillyDilly91 is my Instagram.
And then I think that's actuallyAll I have really is my
Instagram and Facebook.
Steve (17:33):
There you go.
That's what we do.
So I'll link over to those andlisteners.
Thank you very much for tuninginto another episode.
Make sure you also follow us atGay A Podcast.
So you get these new updatesevery Thursday for new episodes,
wherever you're listening and onall the socials.
And until next time, stay soberfriends.
Hey there, Super Sober Heroes.
It's your host, SoberSteve, thepodcast guy here with my friend
Dylan in real life for anotherbrand new episode of Gay A, the
Queer Sober Hero Show.
And I am having so much fungetting to do in person
recordings.
I'm grateful for that.
I'm grateful for your beinghere.
So thank you.
Dillon (00:18):
Thank you for having me.
Steve (00:20):
Yes.
And I am also 1, 367 days soberas of today's recording.
And I am also grateful fordiscovering that in addition to
my main 12 step program beingAA, that I also am belonging
pretty well in ACA meetings.
We had a guest on a while back,Melinda.
talking about ACA and at thetime I wasn't ready to hear
(00:42):
everything she had to say, butI'm ready now and I heard it and
I'm going and I'm enjoying thatpart of the journey.
What's been, what have you beengrateful for recently?
What's going on in your life?
Dillon (00:52):
I've been grateful for, I've recently got a new dog, so
that's been bringing a lot ofhappiness and gratitude into my
life and just really good wherelife is at right now.
Got a beautiful home, beautifuljob, beautiful relationship,
beautiful dog now.
So just grateful for just lifein general.
Steve (01:08):
Yeah.
Excellent.
Speaking of gratitude and thingsthat we love, what makes you
happy to be sober today?
Dillon (01:16):
The fact that I have my wits about me.
I've been sober now, 17 monthssince I made that decision and
It's just been, I couldn'timagine myself with alcohol in
it at this point in my life.
It makes me happy that I canwake up in the morning and feel
productive and know that I don'thave to rely on, a substance to
(01:38):
really alter my life or whatnot.
But I'm grateful that where ithas me being able to be the best
version of myself.
Steve (01:45):
Yeah, I love that.
I love the best version of youbecause you came into my life in
your recovery.
I am very glad that led to ourpaths crossing as well and
Speaking of we met in the localqueer Sarasota community.
What makes you grateful forhappy to be part of the queer
community today?
Dillon (02:03):
That sense of community has always been a huge
aspiration and something Ialways, cause I've been a gypsy
my whole life.
So having that sense ofcommunity, no matter.
Where I go, I always try toestablish roots, no matter how
involved I am with or withoutthe community.
The fact that it's there andbeing able to be part of that,
especially in Sarasota where thequeer community, even though
(02:24):
it's large, it's not as largeas, say like Tampa or Orlando or
Miami.
Just being part of that smallniche of community is just
enough to feel grateful.
Steve (02:34):
Yeah, I'm finding that especially with Sarasota being a
smaller community, then it makesit almost like more important to
be out at everything becauseyou're seen.
And when you're not there,you're also not seen.
So excellent.
And so with all of that,especially since I've gotten to
know you more in recovery, I'mexcited to hear a little bit
about how you found yourselfhere.
So why don't we jump in and tellus what your road to recovery
(02:55):
was like?
Dillon (02:56):
Yeah.
Alcohol was 14 was when I had myfirst drink and My friends were
doing it and that's all wepretty much did.
And I remember being 16 yearsold in downtown Omaha, Nebraska,
where I was in the back of a carwith a handle of vodka and a
thing of OJ, and we'd just sitthere and just take polls.
(03:16):
And that just progressed overthe years to where, I never
really identified as having anissue with it, but I absolutely
recognized when I had tendenciesto absolutely abuse it.
But then it got to the pointwhere I was like, I couldn't
just go out and have a drink orgo to dinner and have a glass of
wine.
It was either drunk or not.
(03:38):
And I think up until my latetwenties into my very, just in
probably the first couple ofmonths of my thirties.
Is when a kind of a light bulbwent off.
It was just, it was my 30thbirthday party to where I knew
something had to change.
I had also dabbled intosubstances as well.
(03:59):
And I just remember being at myown birthday party, going,
having to rush to the bathroomto do a key bump and do a little
shooter in the bathroom.
And I don't even remember therest of the remaining of the
evening.
And that was where.
My tipping point was like, whatam I doing?
my friends were all like, theydidn't say anything at the
night, but I have now come torealize we're starting to worry
(04:23):
about me and the conversationsbetween them were starting to be
does Dylan have a problem?
Do we need to get interventions?
And thankfully though, I hadenough self realization in that
moment to realize I need tochange something because I don't
like this version of what'shappening.
And it was from there on that Istarted the relationship with
(04:45):
alcohol.
We had an on and off againrelationship for probably a few
years up until 17 months ago towhere, to do a few sober stints,
try to go three months or sixmonths.
And each time it always ended upwith either a situation, an
external situation or internalstruggle to where I'd always
resort to going to buy a bottleof wine on my way home but it
(05:06):
was 17 months ago where Iremember I had, my last drink
was a glass of red wine and Ijust, I woke up the next day And
I only had one glass and I hadthe worst headache I think I've
ever had, the worst hangoverI've ever had.
And I just woke up and I waslike this is dumb.
and haven't touched it since.
And it been the most empoweringsituation I think I've ever had
(05:31):
for myself.
Just being able to have thatenough self I don't even know
the word I'm looking for, butself awareness.
There we go.
And just the drive just to beable to say, you know what?
This isn't serving me anymore.
Steve (05:42):
Yeah.
Especially with, at that point Ican imagine for many of us, it's
become like a habit where it'snot only just a physical, but
it's mental, emotional.
How did you, after having thataha moment, stick with it?
Cause I'm sure it wasn't justthat one choice, but you had to
choose that every single day andmultiple times throughout the
day.
Dillon (05:59):
I did.
It was, I had a, still a lovelytherapist to this day that I
worked very well with and Wewere working on reframing things
because there was a lot ofpersonal life situations going
on to where reframing was likemy 2022 to 23 that was like my
mantra reframe.
(06:20):
and so I had to almostcontinuously reframe my Outlook
on it and reassure myself that,you made this decision, you need
to stick with it, but alsoreframing it in the sense that
this is actually a good thing.
This is a benefit.
And even when I would put myselfinto social situations where I
would be more prone to drink,then the reframing process came
(06:42):
into feeling empowered.
Okay I don't need to.
Drink to have fun I can be thesober one and I also found
little pockets of empowermentlike oh I can be the sober one
for my friends I can drive, youknow be the designated driver we
can take away the anxiety and itwas just reframing it to be a
supportive thing not just onlyfor myself, but I guess for
(07:04):
everybody else because That'salso the other thing is when you
are out in public people don'task you your story right away.
They immediately think thatyou're going to be doing exactly
what they're doing.
So when I can Be that personsay, i'm not drinking i'm your
dd tonight I don't know.
It's just that sense it givesyou a sense of power and it's
that moment where you get toreclaim that power and it feels
(07:27):
everything that you've all thedecisions you made up to this
for the better has Been for goodand it's a great feeling Yeah,
that's why.
Steve (07:35):
Yeah, it is.
And making that shift, and youtalked about like the friends
who are concerned about yourdrinking, but you've also made
new relationships and recoverythat help keep you sober.
How did you connect with thosepeople?
Because I hear a lot of timespeople say oh, if you don't go
to 12 step meetings, or if youdon't belong to this specific
fellowship or this fellowship,it's hard to find sober people.
How do you connect with soberpeople?
Dillon (07:54):
Honestly for me, it was circumstance.
I think my higher power, or theGrace of gods of something put
people in my life Coincidentallythat we're sober like I did like
honestly, I didn't seek him outmy first real true friend after
I made that decision Who's stillmy friend today Chris?
(08:15):
I think you actually know him Wejust became really good friends.
And then all of a sudden he'syeah, I'm sober.
And I'm like, Oh, I'm sober too.
and then from there it justbecame he introduced me to other
sober people.
And then it alsocircumstantially when my partner
and I got together, he's I quitdrinking a year ago as well.
I was like, it was almost like auniversal saying this was the
(08:37):
right path here people tosupport you along your journey
yeah, that's how it felt andthen of course meeting you guys
and then finding your podcastbecause that's what I think when
you and I first met we startedtalking was like you're this
podcast.
Yeah, I was like, this is suchan amazing thing because I was
new to being sober and eventhough I didn't necessarily
identify as an alcoholic, likehaving this, being able to talk
(08:59):
about it out loud and it was sojust, I'm getting goosebumps.
It was like the universe wassaying, you are doing the right
thing.
Steve (09:06):
You are! Yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, I love that.
Yes, Chris is responsible for mygiant monster bag of candy
obsessions.
I'm like mixing them alltogether.
Thanks for that cross addiction.
But, I am now like two weeksclean of my giant monster bag of
every sour candy mixed together.
Yes, I am.
and with that, What kind ofquotes or mantras do you hold
(09:28):
onto that help you stay sober?
Dillon (09:30):
It gets better.
Steve (09:31):
It gets better.
Dillon (09:31):
Always gets better.
And resilience has beenSomething that I very hold
strongly to my heart.
I've had to be resilient myentire life and I feel like
that's helped shape my outlookon things in life because life
is shit.
Life will shit on you at everypossible moment it can, but it's
if you let it continuously dothat when, or if you, reframe
(09:53):
that every situation you aredealt with is meant to be a
learning lesson.
And that's how I have been ableto reinforce that on a daily
basis.
But resilience has beensomething that I've had to lean
on in those times.
but knowing that even thoughthis could be the darkest of
dark, there's always going to belight at the end of the tunnel.
(10:13):
my favorite quote ever that Ilive by is by Albus Dumbledore
from Harry Potter.
Happiness can be found in thedarkest of places if only one
remembers to turn on the light.
Steve (10:23):
Yeah.
Dillon (10:23):
And it's the third Harry Potter book, like 200 pages in,
but don't, Albus Dumbledore,that quote has been my But I
already have words all over mybody, I'd have to get it
tattooed on me.
But it's been something thatI've always, it's been like my
push.
And it's mantra.
Steve (10:38):
Yeah, that's great.
I definitely know that havingthose things to say, that you
can say like over and overagain, help.
Because, yeah, life doesn't getany easier in recovery.
In the past 17 months ofrecovery, what would you say has
been one of the more difficultthings you've had to overcome?
And how did you do it stayingsober?
Dillon (10:55):
Most difficult thing of overcoming is probably the
ongoing grief journey that I'mgoing to late in 22, I lost my
sister and it's something I'mgoing to deal with the rest of
my life.
After she had passed, I remembertelling my mother, I said, I
don't want to, I like that, andthat was when three months stint
(11:15):
where I stayed, I didn't drinkthree months after she had
passed and going to that Irealized I didn't want to fall
to alcohol to numb my pain or todistract my brain from doing
what it needed to do, which wasto grieve.
So I jumped.
Into the grieving journey afterthat situation had happened, and
(11:36):
did the work, worked with mytherapist, and abstained from
drinking as much as possible.
But in those times, though,again, when you can get through
it, and I know it's easier saidthan done, but when you can get
through it, it's just such asense of empowerment, being able
to realize that you handled thesituation without needing to use
(12:00):
that crutch or to use thatsubstance, and I guess getting
through those without the needof alcohol, it's not easy
because, when you are drinking,there's always an excuse to
drink.
Oh, I stubbed my toe.
I need a drink tonight.
Or, oh, I had a bad conversationwith my boss.
I need a drink tonight.
But, falling back onto yoursupport system and having that,
(12:21):
that was a huge help during thattransition from going through
that traumatic experience tothen coming back into and
getting back into work andliving the real life.
It's leaning on your support andthen knowing, trusting yourself
to keep going and stay strong.
Steve (12:40):
Yeah, that definitely takes a lot.
And that is definitely somethingI'm sure will be advice that our
listeners really appreciate.
Now, knowing that you've made somany great changes in your life
over the past 17 months, if youcould tell your sister something
today, what would you tell herabout you or your recovery or
your life?
Dillon (13:04):
Thank you.
Because, I think from hersituation, that I use it to
compare it to a lot.
Because people, for instance,will say, aren't you falling in
love?
Like, when my partner and I gottogether, we had a history, or
(13:25):
this is our third attempt atlove, and when we.
So this is for the example isthat when we got back together,
people are like, aren't youafraid of getting hurt?
Or I just don't want him tobreak your heart again or this
or that.
And my answer has never wavered.
And it's been, I've seen thedarkest of darks.
I've been in the darkest placeof my life.
(13:46):
And yet I am here today.
I'm happy.
And so I say that going throughthat situation showed me that
Even though things can be, itcould be like the world is
ending tomorrow, but I stillmade it through.
And again, I lied at the end ofthe tunnel.
(14:08):
And I wouldn't have been able toreally understand the light
without going through thatdarkest of dark.
And for that I do thank her Ofcourse, yeah, I would rather not
have gone through that situationto have my sister here today,
but that situation has taught meand reinforced that resilience
that I just hold so near anddear and I'm not afraid to go
(14:33):
through tougher situationsbecause I already know that I've
gone through something that is,no one at least in our younger
ages should we experience.
However like I said earlier,life We'll throw you shit.
And it's just how you approachit, but it's knowing that it
will get better.
And so that's what I would say.
Thank you to her is that shestrengthened me.
(14:56):
Yeah.
And it was unfortunate that thesituation happened to get to
that point.
But it's because of her that I'ma stronger person today.
Steve (15:05):
Thank you for that.
Dillon (15:06):
Yes.
Steve (15:07):
And when we are in crisis or when we're stressed or
overwhelmed, a lot of themindset tricks can be very
helpful, but they're also verydifficult when we're like in the
middle of it.
So what's something physicalthat you do to give yourself
like a hard reset?
Whether it's sometimes peoplesay it's like meditating,
praying, going for a run or awalk.
What do you do if you need tolike physically change your
(15:27):
situation before you can changeyour mindset?
Dillon (15:30):
Going for walks, being in nature.
I've always said, even as a kid,that nature and outside is my
God.
That's my higher power.
That's where I connect with justlife.
Cause that's where life startedwith nature.
And that's where anytime I feeloverwhelmed or upset taking a
nice long walk with myheadphones, playing either some
music or listening to an audiobook that shifts my brain and
(15:54):
kind of resets and it's a formof meditation for me, but being
able to just be outside isreally, and then writing.
I've been a huge writer my wholelife as well.
I got like probably six or sevenjournals.
They're all started at randomdifferent times, but if I see
one, I'll just start writing.
Steve (16:14):
Awesome.
Excellent.
Any last words, bits of advice,anything for our listeners
generally on your story?
Dillon (16:21):
Oh, that if there's anything I can leave with is, as
cliche as it is and how peoplealways say, and it's easier said
than done, but life does getbetter.
You could be at your lowestpoint, but if you have the
strength to realize that this isjust the stepping stone to your
next greatness there is always abrighter side.
(16:44):
There is always light over therainbow.
And just always keep on pushingforward because at the end of
the day you matter and youmatter to others.
And so for that, just know thatlife does get better.
Steve (16:57):
Excellent.
Yes.
Life does get better.
I have multiple horrible momentsthroughout each day and then
it's always better.
Five minutes later, I just needto breathe through it.
But yes.
And then on the grander scalehappens as well.
So thank you so much.
And yeah, you don't have to goanywhere cause we're going to
actually be doing this asanother two part episode
listeners.
Stay tuned next week as we diveinto the topic of sex and
sexuality.
(17:18):
But for now, I have all of yourads for your socials.
Do you want to give them outloud to our listeners?
And I'll add them in the shownotes too?
Dillon (17:24):
Yeah! At OGDillyDilly91 is my Instagram.
And then I think that's actuallyAll I have really is my
Instagram and Facebook.
Steve (17:33):
There you go.
That's what we do.
So I'll link over to those andlisteners.
Thank you very much for tuninginto another episode.
Make sure you also follow us atGay A Podcast.
So you get these new updatesevery Thursday for new episodes,
wherever you're listening and onall the socials.
And until next time, stay soberfriends.
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