Emotional Baggage: How to Let Go

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We all have that feeling sometimes—like we're carrying weights that slow us down, drain our energy, and keep us from feeling light and free. But what exactly is this burden? It's our emotional baggage, and in this deeply reflective episode, we unpack this universal human experience through a powerful metaphor.

Think about walking around the supermarket with heavy shopping bags, never allowing yourself to put them down. Then imagine filling those bags with items you don't even use anymore—old products, expired goods—things that serve no purpose but take up precious space. That's exactly how emotional baggage operates in our lives. We accumulate hurts, regrets, and unprocessed experiences, carrying them around like hoarders who can't distinguish between what's valuable and what's merely weighing us down.

The journey of lightening your emotional load starts with awareness. Just like physical weight that creeps up gradually, emotional baggage accumulates so subtly that we often don't notice until we feel completely burdened. We share a simple but profound meditation practice: visualize a backpack full of bricks on your back, then imagine walking up a hill, removing these bricks one by one until your load becomes lighter. You'll literally feel the difference in your body as you create this mental space.

What makes this approach different is understanding that carrying less emotional baggage doesn't mean forgetting what happened to you. Instead, it means making peace with those experiences, extracting their lessons without carrying the burning emotional charge. We explore how divorced friends found freedom not by erasing their marriages from memory, but by removing the weight of resentment and seeing those relationships as feedback rather than failures.

Today, we invite you to identify just one "brick" you're carrying—one piece of emotional baggage you're ready to release. Name it, acknowledge it, and consciously put it down. When tomorrow comes, you might be surprised how much sunnier your outlook becomes when you're carrying even a little less weight. Join us on Instagram @theenglishsisters or watch the full video version on YouTube to continue this conversation about lightening your emotional load.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
letting go can be hard at times.
We have all this heavy baggagewe carry around with us that
just says when you go to thesupermarket, imagine never
putting those bags down.
Oh my goodness, you know notgetting that relief when you get
home and you put them down.
Or imagine going to thesupermarket and then getting all
the kind of stuff that youactually do not like or need.

(00:22):
That would be more like, youknow, because when you go and
you get the stuff you want, butimagine just loading up on all
kind of stuff that you knowyou're never going to use.
Well, not maybe that you'renever going to use now, it's
stuff that you used to usebefore and you used to have in
your diet, but you don't need itat the moment yeah, at the
moment you don't eat it.
Or they're products that youdon't actually use anymore, like

(00:44):
cleaning products, or like orlike, yeah, and you're just
filling up your cabinet spaceand your fridge with these kind
of things that you don't likeand you're thinking why am I
doing it?
We know why you're doing itBecause it's emotional baggage,
and that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode of get real with theEnglish sisters mind, health and

(01:09):
anxiety.
So how do we break this loop?
How do we break the loop ofcontinuing?
Like we've always said in manyof our other podcasts?
The first step is to becomeaware that you're carrying it.
You're right, because, justlike those extra kilos that some
of us carry around, they justcreep up on us and we don't

(01:30):
really, we don't, we don't, wedon't, we don't know, we don't
know we're putting away us downuntil we go for a walk or a run
and we feel out of breath, yeah,and we feel huffed and puffed
and we feel heavy than heavierthan what we normally feel, and
then we think, oh, you're right,actually, yeah, because I think
a lot of this emotional baggagedoes creep up on you and you

(01:52):
don't even realise that you'rejust accumulating it and you're
like, hoarding it.
Yeah, you're hoarding it.
I know it's awful, really, Imean it sounds funny, but it's
not.
You're hoarding all theemotional baggage which is, you
know, I can just imaginehoarding stuff that you really,
really do not like or need, butyou think you need it.

(02:15):
Yeah, that's the thing it'slike.
If you, if you go to thesupermarket, into the psychic of
hoarders yes, they often theyfeel if they let go of that
stuff, they're letting go ofpart of themselves, yes.
So it's very hard for them andit's actually very traumatising
for them to let go of things,because other people would look

(02:35):
at and say, that's just rubbish,you don't need any of that.
Yeah, you could definitely letgo.
Absolutely, you're absolutelyright.
I mean, it is so true.
Yeah, it, it, it.
I'm thinking it's funny becauseI can imagine myself when I go
no, no, I'm not doing it.

(02:55):
No, no, I'm not.
What do you mean?
I'm hoarding?
No, no, I don't hoard.
You know who hoards?
My husband hoards.
He's a real little hoarder, butand he always has something
attached to the emotionalbaggage as well, sometimes,
probably, yeah, he, he probablydoesn't want to go into it, no,
but he does have a lot ofemotional baggage.

(03:17):
Yeah, he does carry around withhim.
Probably makes him feel.
He always says you're so light,how could you be so like,
carefree, and we, you know thebusiness and this and that.
And I say, yeah, but let's thinkabout today, right now, because
you live more in the present.
Yes, I go, let's not, I can, Iput, but I do love preparing.

(03:39):
It's not that I live only inthe present.
You don't prepare when you livein the present, but I don't
feel like I get them.
People get confused with livingin the present.
It doesn't mean you don'tprepare when you live in the
present, but I don't feel like Ihave People get confused with
living in the present andthinking you don't do anything,
you don't prepare.
It doesn't mean you're notdisciplined and you don't
prepare or plan for things.
It just means that you don'tallow your mind to race ahead or

(03:59):
race behind, because most, ifyou think about it, most of your
thoughts are either thinkingabout something that's gone in
the past yeah, about the past orthinking about worrying about
the future, or thinking aboutthe future and how, how?
You know how often do we juststay here in the present that's
very unusual and be like reallyfocused on the present moment

(04:24):
and you know what you'reactually doing right now.
You know feeling the seatbeneath your legs or whatever,
and feeling light and easy inthe moment yeah, feeling kind of
in the moment.
You're right, feeling in yourbody.
When I don't feel in the moment, I actually feel really anxious
.
When I, when I don't feel inthe moment, I actually feel

(04:46):
really anxious when I'm startingto think of something like it's
a weekend and I start thinkingof Monday or something, of the
next day's work and all thethings that then I start feeling
anxious and I bring myself backand I say no, it's, that's not
the time now, you know, and I Ican manage to do that, but of
course and there's a techniquewe ask you how how much
emotional baggage?

(05:06):
You know, how heavy is thebackpack on your back?
Is it heavy, is it light?
Is there nothing in it?
Are they just, you know?
Is it just okay?
It's just just just therebecause you might need it,
because that would be ideal, itwould be great if you needed
something in it.
You know, like when you plan togo for a trip, you take your

(05:27):
backpack, but it's very light,it's light, it hasn't got that
much.
Oh, just a step.
When I went for a weekend trip,I certainly didn't.
It wasn't light.
I prepared this massivesuitcase.
However, I did wheels, thoughit did have wheels on your back,
no, and, and I was going by car, and, and, and I did actually

(05:50):
need all of the stuff that I putin there, exactly because it
was actually cold.
Where I went in the end, it wasin the mountains.
It was much chillier.
But, yes, we must ask ourselvesthese kind of questions, I think
, because we all do carry aroundfar too much, and it what
happens is that it causes thesepatterns of unconscious behavior

(06:11):
to keep on recurring.
We keep on repeating the samethings.
Maybe it's in relationships orit's at work, but when you do
carry this emotional baggagearound, you cannot see your true
self.
No, because you always thinkabout the things your true self
is.
It's baggage, it's hidden awayas to say, yes, you're, you're

(06:33):
heavier, you're, you're notreally the essence of who you
really are.
You're way down, you're waydown.
So you've got to remember thatcarrying emotional baggage
around isn't, it's just freeing,but it doesn't mean that you're
forgetting things that happento you.
You don't have to forget them,but you have.

(06:54):
What you have to do is is tolearn to make peace with them.
Yeah, to make peace, and not tocarry the emotion around,
because the emotion will burnyou, yeah.
So I think you just have tohave a good look at whatever's
troubling you, what emotionalbaggage you have, and think how

(07:15):
does it serve me now?
Is it serving a purpose now?
Is it making me take actionsand making me do something
that's going to help me resolvethis, or is it just?
Is it something I really dohave to let go of?
Like, if you're with in a toxicrelationship or something, do
you have to let go of that and,you know, move on?

(07:35):
What do you have to do to tosolve this?
Because I mean, I was solving,it needs solving.
There was we were at dinner withfriends the other night and
they were both recently divorcedand it was so lovely to hear
them speak about their exes,because they were both speaking
yes, yes, it was really hard andand there was a lot to blame,

(08:00):
and he did this and she did thisand that.
But at the end of this wholething, they were saying, yeah,
but we're friends now, yeah, sothey've resolved it, they've
forgiven and they have notforgotten, but they've forgiven
so that they too, as new people,can come back into the world of
love and light and not feelweighed down by this old baggage

(08:23):
.
They were both light as peoplenow, whereas I remember seeing
them because they're old friends, seeing them in the past, and
they were much heavier it's it'snot heavier physically, heavier
mentally they weren't as happywere they.
No, they're much happier nowbecause they're lighter and I
think they're both carrying lessbaggage around.

(08:44):
Ironically, you know, yeah,because you would think you know
they've had failed marriages.
Yes, they might be.
You don't think of it asfailure because in the end, they
had, you know, lovely childrenfrom marriage and it was just
like an episode in your life.
You have't think of it asfailure because in the end, they
had, you know, lovely childrenfrom marriage and it was just
like an episode in your life.
You have to think of thesethings not as failure, but like
feedback.
They're feedback, your lifeexperiences that you've learned.

(09:06):
It's your life.
There are those years in yourlife that you will never get
back.
So the only way I think is toactually heal from things like
separation and divorce is toremember the good times you did
have with that person, andthey're always good times.
Don't forget the the moreawkward or difficult times,

(09:27):
because they're there to serveyou for a purpose, because, yes,
you know you.
You don't want to repeat that ina new relationship.
You do not want to follow thosepatterns.
You don't want to continue thisloop of whatever was bothering
you In the old relationship.
You want to learn and grow fromit, but you don't want to have
this baggage or this shadow ofyourself following you around.

(09:51):
You don't want that.
You want to be able tounderstand that.
That was you a while ago, butyou are forever changing.
Yeah, if I think of what I usedto be like, I mean I can hardly
even recognise myself.
No, the things you would havesaid in the past, they're not

(10:13):
things you would say today.
No, we're like almost differentpeople.
Yes, so sometimes when I seeyou know some of our old friends
and they reminisce about thepast, do you remember that?
Yeah, it's sweet, but I can'treally relate to that girl
anymore.
No, only some, some of the coreessence and the values and
beliefs are always there, but Ican't really relate to that

(10:35):
anymore.
For a lot of the times I can'teven remember it because it
wasn't that important to me, butI think it is.
You've let go, because we, wetend to let go.
Yes, absolutely, absolutely.
You let go.
And there might be somethingreally, really hurtful that

(10:56):
someone said to you as well, andyou, you never, you never.
You know, get into thatperson's shoes and just think
well, you know why did they saythat?
Because sometimes people don'tactually say sorry.
You know that they, it's justnot in their nature, like in our
, in our, with our parents, likeour dad, he would never
apologize for anything, never.
He just didn't even know no, Idon't know, never.

(11:19):
So we would have neverapologized by making us a cup of
tea or something.
Yes, that was his way.
So sometimes, you know,communication comes in very
different forms.
You don't need to to.
A lot of the times you don'tneed to receive that formal
apology or the.
You know the word sorry, butyou can see that that person is

(11:40):
sorry in his own or her way,wants to, is apologizing.
Yes, that's very true, actually, because there's no point being
so and so.
So why do we have to hang on tothese things that maybe someone
said to you once.
You have to keep that in yourhead.
Just let go of it.
Know that they said thatbecause they're human and people

(12:01):
make mistakes and they saythings that they don't really
mean, and if they did mean themat the time, they may not mean
them now, because they'vechanged and life changes you,
because that's what life issupposed to do.
You're supposed to evolve andchange you're.
You're growing all the time.

(12:21):
So you're growing mentally aswell and through experiences.
So there is a meditation you cando.
It's just, you know, when you,if you're not driving, you can
just close your eyes and imaginethat backpack on your back full
of bricks, and then you justimagine walking up a hill and

(12:42):
just putting those bricks downone by one, by one, till you get
to the top, and then feel howlight that backpack is at the
top, and then you can maybe eventake it off and, just you know,
take a few deep breaths andjust sit there quietly in that,
in that space, for a few momentsuntil you feel as if you have,

(13:05):
like, released all this, allthese things that you no longer
need and I'm not no longerserving you.
But you can still keep, likewhat you were saying yeah, you
can see, yeah, the the memoriesassociated to.
Yes, that's right, you don't doyou, you know you.
You, you can lighten the loadand you can lighten.
I think you can keep some of it.

(13:25):
If you're not ready, you canalso keep pathways open as well,
so that you can in the future,maybe you can go and mend some
of those relationships.
But if, if, if they're not, youknow, if it's not possible to
mend them now, you don't have tohold hatred and anger towards
that person.
You can just be at peace, calmwithin yourself.

(13:47):
Yes, if you've decided to youknow, I know break up with
someone or ghost someone, orjust decide not, you don't want
to ever speak to someone again,but just say, okay, I'm okay
with that, I've made my peacewith that.
But don't carry all those wordsand hatred around with you,
because that's what reallyweighs you down, that is what is

(14:09):
making you feel tiredemotionally.
A lot of the time, we feelthese symptoms like of constant
fatigue, constant not being ableto get on with things.
We're feeling unfocused, lifeis heavy, but we don't know how
to describe it.
So the question is, could it beyour emotional baggage that

(14:31):
you're carrying around that youdon't really want to see?
Or you, you've hidden away andyou, you, you don't want to
address it, but maybe you don'thave to go deep into what it is.
But you know there are certainthings that you do carry around,
certain things.
That what the letter was saying, you repeat to yourself over

(14:52):
and over again.
And maybe it's time, right now,today, to release something, to
lighten that load for yourself,so that you can feel less
weighed down.
You can, your mind will havemore space.
There is no doubt.
If your mind is filled withspace, sunnier tomorrow morning,

(15:16):
it will definitely be sunniertomorrow morning, absolutely so.
Let us know what you think ofthis week's episode.
Do you have emotional baggage?
Most of us do Very difficultnot to.
If we were alive, yeah.
But you know, just yeah, youcould maybe just think about

(15:38):
this and just think okay, today,what is one brick that I want
to release today?
Yeah, you can give it a nameand think about that one thing
today, consciously, that you'llput down.
That you can put down.
Thank you for listening.
As always, come and see us oninstagram, at the english

(15:59):
sisters or at get real with theenglish sisters.
On youtube, you can see thefull video version of the
podcast and the podcast versionas well, and wherever you get
your podcasts, you can listen toGet Real with the English
Sisters Mind, health and Anxiety.
See you soon.
See you soon, bye-bye.