May 7, 2025 • 17 mins
Self-confidence is something we're born with but gradually lose as we compare ourselves to others and face external challenges like bullying or feeling different due to our backgrounds. Building confidence requires surrounding ourselves with supportive people while distancing from "frenemies" who undermine our self-esteem through subtle criticisms.
• Create a supportive network of people who lift you up, regardless of their age or background
• Practice positive affirmations and mindfulness to counter negative self-talk
• Set small, achievable challenges that gradually build confidence through consistent action
• Use body language "hacks" like power poses to boost confidence in challenging moments
• Volunteer to help others as a powerful way to increase self-worth through service
• Recognize your transferable skills, especially when returning after career gaps
• Practice gratitude for existing abilities rather than focusing only on perceived weaknesses
• Open new "doors" by trying new things instead of limiting yourself with self-doubt
• Remember that confident energy spreads, positively affecting relationships and inspiring others
We're therapists here to help you build your confidence! Connect with us on YouTube (video and podcast formats available) and share your confidence journey with us.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How to build confidence, yeah, how to build
your self-confidence fast andquickly.
That's what we're going to bechatting about in this week's
episode of Get Real With theIngrid Sisters.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Yes, we are therapists andwe're here to help you, so we
(00:23):
hope that any of the advice wecan be giving you today is
really going to help youincrease your self-confidence.
Exactly, and I think it'scalled self-confidence for a
reason.
Well, yes, it's confidence inoneself indeed, and you know,
you would think that beingconfident would be natural,
because, as babies, we're allvery confident, but I think as
(00:45):
we grow up, it kind of getshammered out of us, doesn't it
Sometimes?
Yeah, definitely, it's with the, with ageing, when we start
confronting ourselves withothers.
You know already, as very youngchildren, you know, going into
school, you can start noticingthese kind of things and perhaps
(01:06):
, yeah, when I was little, Iwasn't confident at all.
You were when you were firstborn baby, yeah, but not when I
was five and six.
That's it.
Going to school.
When you start going to school,because you start comparing
yourself, perhaps, to otherother children, you may notice
they have different things.
You get teased and bullied,exactly.
Yeah, all of these things canyou know, be they knock your
(01:29):
confidence, don't they?
I remember when I was reallylittle and I had to start
wearing glasses, how I getbullied.
Oh, definitely, and that wasthat immediately knocked me not
my confidence and made me feelvery shy.
Yes, yes, yes, indeed, that's aclassical thing that that
happens growing up, yeah, youknow, your confidence gets like
bashed.
(01:49):
It does get bashed down,instead of being encouraged to,
oh, to flourish and to be happywith yourself and what you look
like.
Um, yeah, and, and I thinktoday we're going to be
exploring that, aren't we?
Yeah, and I think it alsodepends on, you know, the, the
(02:10):
environment you grow up in, who,who your caretakers are, what
your family's like, because someof us are fortunate to have
families that really build yourconfidence, like our parents.
Well, especially our mother.
She did build our confidence.
She did, yeah, and ourself-esteem was high, but in
another way, being immigrantchildren, we felt different to
(02:34):
other children, so that initself made us feel different
and that kind of knocked ourconfidence, didn't it?
I believe it did.
I mean, I do remember therewere quite a lot of immigrant
children at our school, but, yes, I think, especially because
our first language was Spanish.
Our mother was Spanish.
So when I remember going intopreschool, especially, that I
(02:58):
couldn't really understand whatwas going on much.
It was so foreign to us.
It was foreign yes, definitelyforeign.
So foreign, it was foreign.
Yes, definitely foreign.
Yeah, english was foreign, uh,however, yeah, that wasn't.
That was okay.
That was quite a niceexperience preschool, but then
after it was a real school, likewhen you're five, uh, that
elementary school, yeah, that,that was tough.
(03:18):
That was definitely tough andscary.
It was a a scary place, yeah.
And I remember when I finallydid grow up, when I got to
college, how my confidence grewand grew because I was allowed
to express myself and be who Ireally thought I was, through
your outfits, your clothes, yeah, exactly your makeup, and then
it was being more extravagantand who I really was.
(03:40):
And my confidence grew so much.
And you get feedback from otherpeople who you go, you make
friends and you have positivepeople around you that are like
they.
They help build your confidence.
I think that's essential.
If you do think that yourconfidence is low, it's really
important to to distanceyourself from you know these
(04:03):
frenemies, or from you knowpeople that are supposed to be
your friends but are constantlygiving you little digs about
this or about that.
You know, keep a set yourboundaries, keep a distance and
surround yourself with peoplethat you know are going to help
lift you up and mentor you aswell.
(04:25):
Look for people that you canlook up to and that you you're
inspired by, someone that'sgoing to, like, help you
flourish and grow.
Yeah, and let me say that theydon't have to be of the same age
as you.
These people could be like youmay be in your 20s and you may
you may know a very elderly lady, for example, and she may be
(04:45):
able to give you some adviceright in that moment of time
when you need it the most.
So be open to listen todifferent, different group ages.
You know different, all kind ofdifferent people that may be
able to help you in this journey.
Different points of view yes,you get a different perspective
on life with different peoplethat don't know, um, don't have
(05:09):
any fixed ideas about who youare or who you're supposed to be
can be really helpful to you.
Yeah, because I think sometimesif you go, if you hang out with
the same group of people, youget stuck in that, in that, in
the representation those peoplehave of you.
So you kind of behave as youthink you, you expect they, they
(05:30):
expect you to behave.
You behave like like you'rekind of expected to behave,
maybe when really you're notthat person anymore yeah, yeah,
very often it's you're not thatperson anymore, but when you're
hang around with those people,you suddenly become that person.
You think is this really who Iam now?
(05:51):
No, so it's time to grow andit's time to perhaps, you know,
choose a new crowd to hang outwith.
Yeah, and I think, and I thinklike um, a mindfulness practice
or a meditative meditationpractice can really help you.
And positive affirmationstelling yourself I feel
confident, I feel good today, Ifeel great, I'm going to go and
(06:14):
do that thing that I may be abit frightened of today.
I'm going to overcome this fearand I'm going to go and do it.
All these actions that youactually take, even tiny small
steps, will increase yourconfidence.
Yeah, and I think that when youdo set these small challenges
for yourself, like to joinsomething new, like what you
were saying, joining a group oreven even if it's online, you
(06:37):
know you're still doingsomething proactive for yourself
.
That is going to build yourself-confidence because you took
that first step and then you'reentering something different.
So it's a challenge.
It's a challenge for you andit's a challenge that will help
you grow.
It's a challenge.
It's a challenge for you andit's a challenge that will help
you grow.
(06:58):
And the more you do thesechallenges, even if they're
small, the more yourself-confidence grows, because
you think you know, after all,it's your own self that is
judging you at the moment.
So if you think, oh, I did thatyesterday, so perhaps today I
can do this, you know, it can bereally, really helpful, can't
it?
Well, it's very, verybeneficial to you to know that
you can actually do stuff.
(07:18):
Because, yeah, when you havevery simply said yes, indeed,
feel that you can't or you'renot good enough to do that, or
you're not worthy of doing that,then that's when you're you're
putting yourself down, and thenthat's when it can become
insidious and it can reallybecome a self-fulfilling
prophecy if you keep saying thatto yourself.
That's why, if you say I canand I will, it will change your
(07:42):
whole perspective on it and evenif I fail today, I'll get help
or I'll ask someone to help meand I'll manage it tomorrow, and
you'll feel very, very goodabout yourself, definitely.
Yeah, it's a totally differentlook at life if you say I can
and I will, as opposed to no, Ican't and I won't even try.
(08:04):
Yeah, you know that alone foryour self-esteem is um is
massive.
Yeah, if you say I can and Iwill, you know, and I'm going to
do my very best with this newchallenge Brilliant.
I think that's all you canexpect from yourself.
You can just expect yourself todo better every day and you can
expect that you will havesetbacks, and that's okay.
(08:26):
And there'll be some days whenyou won't feel as confident, but
you might be able to.
There'll be some days when youwon't feel as confident, but you
might be able to change youroutfit and have an outfit that
gives you confidence.
Or get a power poser.
You know, have your arms likethis.
That'll give you confidence.
There's so many little tricksthat'll build your
self-confidence that you can uselike body posture.
(08:49):
You can call somebody that youknow is part of this new support
group that's going to behelping build your confidence.
Or go and visit them.
Or, you know, have a video chatwith a call with them.
Do something like this.
You know those people thatalways make you feel good about
yourself.
At the end of it.
It doesn't matter who they are.
As I was saying before, itcould be a colleague, it could
(09:11):
be you, it could be you know,your grandma, grandma or the
lady who owns a shop, and youjust have a casual chat with and
and you.
You feel good afterwards andyou think, oh, you know, and
sometimes you're you, you might.
You might feel like.
I remember personally, likeafter I graduated university, I
(09:33):
still had like a lack ofconfidence because I never did
get to do my maths O level.
So it was like you know themaths that you needed for a lot
of positions and I had neverdone it.
And I think, with the mindset Ihave now, I would have just
gone and done it and applied forthose jobs.
Or you would have actuallytaken the exam.
No, I would have just gone andgone and done it for those jobs.
(09:54):
No, I would have actually takenthe exam.
I would have got enrolled in ina night school or something,
knowing what I know now, to justget those.
Because it's I mean when you'reolder.
Sometimes when you're younger,these, these feel like massive
hurdles, but when you're olderyou can look back on it and say,
oh, now, as an older person, Ican understand, as an adult, I
(10:16):
can understand and I can tackleit in a different way.
Yes, you know, yeah, tutor orgo to night school or something
and do it.
So if you feel like you'relacking in some kind of skill,
it's, it's good practice forbuilding confidence to actually
go and do that, that, that skillthat you feel you're lacking in
(10:36):
.
Yeah, that that is very true.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
I mean I think like even justyou know, not just I mean
volunteering, for example, hasgreat value in building your
self-confidence, because thereyou can actually see that you're
going to help somebody, yes,and that you actually did it.
You say, okay, actually seethat you're going to help
somebody, yes, and that youactually did it.
You say, okay, monday night I'mgoing to go and volunteer here,
(10:58):
and you actually do it andyou're changing people's lives
because when they see you, theyget so much joy and that is that
that just rubs off onto you andthen they're, you know that you
feel the gratitude they havefor you and that's immense.
That can really help build yourself-confidence and help you,
you know, feel much better aboutyourself.
(11:22):
Yeah, I think also, practicinggratitude helps as well by being
grateful for what you alreadyhave, doesn't it Absolutely
Practicing gratitude, justthinking about everything that
you have, all the skills youalready know, and they're
looking at the people around youthat have helped you so far?
Yeah, and looking at maybe sometransferable skills that you may
(11:45):
have that you didn't reallyrealize you had.
I mean, a lot of the skillsthat we have, especially as
women, are transferable.
We have a lot of likemanagement skills that we're
constantly managing stuff anddoing things that maybe in the
household that can betransferable into business or
into.
That's very true actually.
Yeah, that's a good point.
(12:06):
So, you know, don'tunderestimate yourself, don't?
You don't think, oh, I, youknow I'm no good at that, I
can't do that.
You know, always turn it aroundand think I am, I will be good
at that, I will be able to dothat.
It's like because you think,okay, I studied and then I
became a stay-at-home mom, forexample, and now I'm applying
(12:27):
for another job, and yourconfidence can be a little bit
low, but if you do manage toturn it around and think, well,
wow, you know, I bought, youknow I, I had these, these
children, I helped them grow, Idid all of this, like what you
were saying, all thesetransferable organization skills
as well, that that involvesimmense.
(12:50):
You can become so much morecompetent than you were before.
Yeah, a lot of the times you'reat home as well.
You might have had a gap inyour curriculum of a couple of
years.
You've been out for whateverreason and you might feel really
out of it.
But just think about all theother skills you've learned in
those years.
(13:10):
I'm sure there's so many skillsthat are transferable that you
may not have thought about.
So just as human beings, we'revery complex and we have so much
knowledge of so many differenttypes of things in our mind that
can be transferable skills intodifferent areas.
And it's so much easier tolearn as well.
When we have, like when we'relittle, we learn a door is a
(13:33):
door.
We know what a door looks like.
Forevermore we'll alwaysrecognize what a door is.
You've seen one door.
We know many doors are alldifferent.
They'll come in differentshapes and sizes, but we all
know that they're doors.
So, in the same way, our skills.
A skill is a skill.
(13:54):
Once you have that skill honedin, you can transfer it to other
stuff.
You can think a bit laterally.
Yes, absolutely no.
Don't keep yourself stuck in abox for confidence, you know.
Open the doors.
Now that you know what they are, you open as many doors as you
can and allow more freedom andmore space into your life and
(14:17):
and allow the self-confidence togrow within you.
You know each and every day yeah, and practice, think of things,
the self-fulfillingaffirmations.
Yes, say to yourself.
I am confident, I love myself,I will do this, I'm going to go
for it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I'll try again.
(14:38):
I'm going to find people aroundme that are going to support me
in this building, building allthese blocks of my confidence
again.
And so you work within yourselfand with the support group
around you and by helping othersas well, you'll notice that,
day by day, your confidence willgrow.
(14:59):
And as your confidence grows,you'll notice that your by day,
your confidence will grow.
Yeah, and as your confidencegrow, you'll notice that your
relationships will grow as well,because you'll build new
relationships with new peoplewho will appreciate you and
you'll appreciate them.
And then it's like it's alovely thing.
It's a beautiful thing.
You're sharing kindness, you'resharing you.
By improving your own selfconfidence.
(15:19):
You'll be improving theirself-confidence because you may
be teaching them new skills thatthey didn't know they had, or
encouraging them to try out newthings.
So, I mean, the world is awonderful place and we all have
to be careful to nourish ourself-confidence, realize it is
something that we do have totake care of, because if we
(15:40):
forget to look after ourselvesand nourish our self-confidence,
it can, it can become somethingthat is lacking within us, yeah
, and then it's detectable forothers around us, and so we we
become less open to to these newopportunities because we're not
as outgoing, and we become morewithdrawn within ourselves.
(16:03):
Yeah, and we start closingdoors instead of opening them.
Yeah, that's what happens.
You think, no, no, I can't dothat, frightened of that.
No, no, I'm too old, I'm tooyoung, don't have this.
And and all these doors?
Whoa, they all start closing.
So what we want to do is bedoing the opposite within our
own minds.
And as new doors open, so donew neural pathways in your mind
(16:24):
, where you start creating newideas, and ideas start to flow.
You get more and more creative,you become happier and happier
and you, you just increase yourgeneral well-being and of all
those around you.
Yeah, because it spreads.
It spreads so much positiveenergy for everybody and you
become like an example for otherpeople.
(16:45):
They think, well, if she coulddo it, wow, you know, maybe I
can do it too.
Yeah, and so it's.
We learn from others.
We do, we do, we watch, welisten and we learn and we grow
and we evolve.
And as mothers, we also knowthat we pass self-confidence on
to our children.
So the more positive we arearound our children, the more we
(17:07):
allow our children toacknowledge their feelings and
let us know how they're feeling.
We can help them grow too andbe a positive example for them,
absolutely.
So let us know what you think.
The podcast is also availableon youtube as a video and as a
podcast, so do come and see usthere, and we are therapists.
(17:28):
We're here to help you.
We love hearing from you.
Thank you for all our all yourcomments, and you can also send
us a text and lots of love andsmiles from the english sisters.
Bye.
How to build confidence, yeah, how to build
your self-confidence fast andquickly.
That's what we're going to bechatting about in this week's
episode of Get Real With theIngrid Sisters.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Yes, we are therapists andwe're here to help you, so we
(00:23):
hope that any of the advice wecan be giving you today is
really going to help youincrease your self-confidence.
Exactly, and I think it'scalled self-confidence for a
reason.
Well, yes, it's confidence inoneself indeed, and you know,
you would think that beingconfident would be natural,
because, as babies, we're allvery confident, but I think as
(00:45):
we grow up, it kind of getshammered out of us, doesn't it
Sometimes?
Yeah, definitely, it's with the, with ageing, when we start
confronting ourselves withothers.
You know already, as very youngchildren, you know, going into
school, you can start noticingthese kind of things and perhaps
(01:06):
, yeah, when I was little, Iwasn't confident at all.
You were when you were firstborn baby, yeah, but not when I
was five and six.
That's it.
Going to school.
When you start going to school,because you start comparing
yourself, perhaps, to otherother children, you may notice
they have different things.
You get teased and bullied,exactly.
Yeah, all of these things canyou know, be they knock your
(01:29):
confidence, don't they?
I remember when I was reallylittle and I had to start
wearing glasses, how I getbullied.
Oh, definitely, and that wasthat immediately knocked me not
my confidence and made me feelvery shy.
Yes, yes, yes, indeed, that's aclassical thing that that
happens growing up, yeah, youknow, your confidence gets like
bashed.
(01:49):
It does get bashed down,instead of being encouraged to,
oh, to flourish and to be happywith yourself and what you look
like.
Um, yeah, and, and I thinktoday we're going to be
exploring that, aren't we?
Yeah, and I think it alsodepends on, you know, the, the
(02:10):
environment you grow up in, who,who your caretakers are, what
your family's like, because someof us are fortunate to have
families that really build yourconfidence, like our parents.
Well, especially our mother.
She did build our confidence.
She did, yeah, and ourself-esteem was high, but in
another way, being immigrantchildren, we felt different to
(02:34):
other children, so that initself made us feel different
and that kind of knocked ourconfidence, didn't it?
I believe it did.
I mean, I do remember therewere quite a lot of immigrant
children at our school, but, yes, I think, especially because
our first language was Spanish.
Our mother was Spanish.
So when I remember going intopreschool, especially, that I
(02:58):
couldn't really understand whatwas going on much.
It was so foreign to us.
It was foreign yes, definitelyforeign.
So foreign, it was foreign.
Yes, definitely foreign.
Yeah, english was foreign, uh,however, yeah, that wasn't.
That was okay.
That was quite a niceexperience preschool, but then
after it was a real school, likewhen you're five, uh, that
elementary school, yeah, that,that was tough.
(03:18):
That was definitely tough andscary.
It was a a scary place, yeah.
And I remember when I finallydid grow up, when I got to
college, how my confidence grewand grew because I was allowed
to express myself and be who Ireally thought I was, through
your outfits, your clothes, yeah, exactly your makeup, and then
it was being more extravagantand who I really was.
(03:40):
And my confidence grew so much.
And you get feedback from otherpeople who you go, you make
friends and you have positivepeople around you that are like
they.
They help build your confidence.
I think that's essential.
If you do think that yourconfidence is low, it's really
important to to distanceyourself from you know these
(04:03):
frenemies, or from you knowpeople that are supposed to be
your friends but are constantlygiving you little digs about
this or about that.
You know, keep a set yourboundaries, keep a distance and
surround yourself with peoplethat you know are going to help
lift you up and mentor you aswell.
(04:25):
Look for people that you canlook up to and that you you're
inspired by, someone that'sgoing to, like, help you
flourish and grow.
Yeah, and let me say that theydon't have to be of the same age
as you.
These people could be like youmay be in your 20s and you may
you may know a very elderly lady, for example, and she may be
(04:45):
able to give you some adviceright in that moment of time
when you need it the most.
So be open to listen todifferent, different group ages.
You know different, all kind ofdifferent people that may be
able to help you in this journey.
Different points of view yes,you get a different perspective
on life with different peoplethat don't know, um, don't have
(05:09):
any fixed ideas about who youare or who you're supposed to be
can be really helpful to you.
Yeah, because I think sometimesif you go, if you hang out with
the same group of people, youget stuck in that, in that, in
the representation those peoplehave of you.
So you kind of behave as youthink you, you expect they, they
(05:30):
expect you to behave.
You behave like like you'rekind of expected to behave,
maybe when really you're notthat person anymore yeah, yeah,
very often it's you're not thatperson anymore, but when you're
hang around with those people,you suddenly become that person.
You think is this really who Iam now?
(05:51):
No, so it's time to grow andit's time to perhaps, you know,
choose a new crowd to hang outwith.
Yeah, and I think, and I thinklike um, a mindfulness practice
or a meditative meditationpractice can really help you.
And positive affirmationstelling yourself I feel
confident, I feel good today, Ifeel great, I'm going to go and
(06:14):
do that thing that I may be abit frightened of today.
I'm going to overcome this fearand I'm going to go and do it.
All these actions that youactually take, even tiny small
steps, will increase yourconfidence.
Yeah, and I think that when youdo set these small challenges
for yourself, like to joinsomething new, like what you
were saying, joining a group oreven even if it's online, you
(06:37):
know you're still doingsomething proactive for yourself
.
That is going to build yourself-confidence because you took
that first step and then you'reentering something different.
So it's a challenge.
It's a challenge for you andit's a challenge that will help
you grow.
It's a challenge.
It's a challenge for you andit's a challenge that will help
you grow.
(06:58):
And the more you do thesechallenges, even if they're
small, the more yourself-confidence grows, because
you think you know, after all,it's your own self that is
judging you at the moment.
So if you think, oh, I did thatyesterday, so perhaps today I
can do this, you know, it can bereally, really helpful, can't
it?
Well, it's very, verybeneficial to you to know that
you can actually do stuff.
(07:18):
Because, yeah, when you havevery simply said yes, indeed,
feel that you can't or you'renot good enough to do that, or
you're not worthy of doing that,then that's when you're you're
putting yourself down, and thenthat's when it can become
insidious and it can reallybecome a self-fulfilling
prophecy if you keep saying thatto yourself.
That's why, if you say I canand I will, it will change your
(07:42):
whole perspective on it and evenif I fail today, I'll get help
or I'll ask someone to help meand I'll manage it tomorrow, and
you'll feel very, very goodabout yourself, definitely.
Yeah, it's a totally differentlook at life if you say I can
and I will, as opposed to no, Ican't and I won't even try.
(08:04):
Yeah, you know that alone foryour self-esteem is um is
massive.
Yeah, if you say I can and Iwill, you know, and I'm going to
do my very best with this newchallenge Brilliant.
I think that's all you canexpect from yourself.
You can just expect yourself todo better every day and you can
expect that you will havesetbacks, and that's okay.
(08:26):
And there'll be some days whenyou won't feel as confident, but
you might be able to.
There'll be some days when youwon't feel as confident, but you
might be able to change youroutfit and have an outfit that
gives you confidence.
Or get a power poser.
You know, have your arms likethis.
That'll give you confidence.
There's so many little tricksthat'll build your
self-confidence that you can uselike body posture.
(08:49):
You can call somebody that youknow is part of this new support
group that's going to behelping build your confidence.
Or go and visit them.
Or, you know, have a video chatwith a call with them.
Do something like this.
You know those people thatalways make you feel good about
yourself.
At the end of it.
It doesn't matter who they are.
As I was saying before, itcould be a colleague, it could
(09:11):
be you, it could be you know,your grandma, grandma or the
lady who owns a shop, and youjust have a casual chat with and
and you.
You feel good afterwards andyou think, oh, you know, and
sometimes you're you, you might.
You might feel like.
I remember personally, likeafter I graduated university, I
(09:33):
still had like a lack ofconfidence because I never did
get to do my maths O level.
So it was like you know themaths that you needed for a lot
of positions and I had neverdone it.
And I think, with the mindset Ihave now, I would have just
gone and done it and applied forthose jobs.
Or you would have actuallytaken the exam.
No, I would have just gone andgone and done it for those jobs.
(09:54):
No, I would have actually takenthe exam.
I would have got enrolled in ina night school or something,
knowing what I know now, to justget those.
Because it's I mean when you'reolder.
Sometimes when you're younger,these, these feel like massive
hurdles, but when you're olderyou can look back on it and say,
oh, now, as an older person, Ican understand, as an adult, I
(10:16):
can understand and I can tackleit in a different way.
Yes, you know, yeah, tutor orgo to night school or something
and do it.
So if you feel like you'relacking in some kind of skill,
it's, it's good practice forbuilding confidence to actually
go and do that, that, that skillthat you feel you're lacking in
(10:36):
.
Yeah, that that is very true.
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
I mean I think like even justyou know, not just I mean
volunteering, for example, hasgreat value in building your
self-confidence, because thereyou can actually see that you're
going to help somebody, yes,and that you actually did it.
You say, okay, actually seethat you're going to help
somebody, yes, and that youactually did it.
You say, okay, monday night I'mgoing to go and volunteer here,
(10:58):
and you actually do it andyou're changing people's lives
because when they see you, theyget so much joy and that is that
that just rubs off onto you andthen they're, you know that you
feel the gratitude they havefor you and that's immense.
That can really help build yourself-confidence and help you,
you know, feel much better aboutyourself.
(11:22):
Yeah, I think also, practicinggratitude helps as well by being
grateful for what you alreadyhave, doesn't it Absolutely
Practicing gratitude, justthinking about everything that
you have, all the skills youalready know, and they're
looking at the people around youthat have helped you so far?
Yeah, and looking at maybe sometransferable skills that you may
(11:45):
have that you didn't reallyrealize you had.
I mean, a lot of the skillsthat we have, especially as
women, are transferable.
We have a lot of likemanagement skills that we're
constantly managing stuff anddoing things that maybe in the
household that can betransferable into business or
into.
That's very true actually.
Yeah, that's a good point.
(12:06):
So, you know, don'tunderestimate yourself, don't?
You don't think, oh, I, youknow I'm no good at that, I
can't do that.
You know, always turn it aroundand think I am, I will be good
at that, I will be able to dothat.
It's like because you think,okay, I studied and then I
became a stay-at-home mom, forexample, and now I'm applying
(12:27):
for another job, and yourconfidence can be a little bit
low, but if you do manage toturn it around and think, well,
wow, you know, I bought, youknow I, I had these, these
children, I helped them grow, Idid all of this, like what you
were saying, all thesetransferable organization skills
as well, that that involvesimmense.
(12:50):
You can become so much morecompetent than you were before.
Yeah, a lot of the times you'reat home as well.
You might have had a gap inyour curriculum of a couple of
years.
You've been out for whateverreason and you might feel really
out of it.
But just think about all theother skills you've learned in
those years.
(13:10):
I'm sure there's so many skillsthat are transferable that you
may not have thought about.
So just as human beings, we'revery complex and we have so much
knowledge of so many differenttypes of things in our mind that
can be transferable skills intodifferent areas.
And it's so much easier tolearn as well.
When we have, like when we'relittle, we learn a door is a
(13:33):
door.
We know what a door looks like.
Forevermore we'll alwaysrecognize what a door is.
You've seen one door.
We know many doors are alldifferent.
They'll come in differentshapes and sizes, but we all
know that they're doors.
So, in the same way, our skills.
A skill is a skill.
(13:54):
Once you have that skill honedin, you can transfer it to other
stuff.
You can think a bit laterally.
Yes, absolutely no.
Don't keep yourself stuck in abox for confidence, you know.
Open the doors.
Now that you know what they are, you open as many doors as you
can and allow more freedom andmore space into your life and
(14:17):
and allow the self-confidence togrow within you.
You know each and every day yeah, and practice, think of things,
the self-fulfillingaffirmations.
Yes, say to yourself.
I am confident, I love myself,I will do this, I'm going to go
for it.
Tomorrow is a new day.
I'll try again.
(14:38):
I'm going to find people aroundme that are going to support me
in this building, building allthese blocks of my confidence
again.
And so you work within yourselfand with the support group
around you and by helping othersas well, you'll notice that,
day by day, your confidence willgrow.
(14:59):
And as your confidence grows,you'll notice that your by day,
your confidence will grow.
Yeah, and as your confidencegrow, you'll notice that your
relationships will grow as well,because you'll build new
relationships with new peoplewho will appreciate you and
you'll appreciate them.
And then it's like it's alovely thing.
It's a beautiful thing.
You're sharing kindness, you'resharing you.
By improving your own selfconfidence.
(15:19):
You'll be improving theirself-confidence because you may
be teaching them new skills thatthey didn't know they had, or
encouraging them to try out newthings.
So, I mean, the world is awonderful place and we all have
to be careful to nourish ourself-confidence, realize it is
something that we do have totake care of, because if we
(15:40):
forget to look after ourselvesand nourish our self-confidence,
it can, it can become somethingthat is lacking within us, yeah
, and then it's detectable forothers around us, and so we we
become less open to to these newopportunities because we're not
as outgoing, and we become morewithdrawn within ourselves.
(16:03):
Yeah, and we start closingdoors instead of opening them.
Yeah, that's what happens.
You think, no, no, I can't dothat, frightened of that.
No, no, I'm too old, I'm tooyoung, don't have this.
And and all these doors?
Whoa, they all start closing.
So what we want to do is bedoing the opposite within our
own minds.
And as new doors open, so donew neural pathways in your mind
(16:24):
, where you start creating newideas, and ideas start to flow.
You get more and more creative,you become happier and happier
and you, you just increase yourgeneral well-being and of all
those around you.
Yeah, because it spreads.
It spreads so much positiveenergy for everybody and you
become like an example for otherpeople.
(16:45):
They think, well, if she coulddo it, wow, you know, maybe I
can do it too.
Yeah, and so it's.
We learn from others.
We do, we do, we watch, welisten and we learn and we grow
and we evolve.
And as mothers, we also knowthat we pass self-confidence on
to our children.
So the more positive we arearound our children, the more we
(17:07):
allow our children toacknowledge their feelings and
let us know how they're feeling.
We can help them grow too andbe a positive example for them,
absolutely.
So let us know what you think.
The podcast is also availableon youtube as a video and as a
podcast, so do come and see usthere, and we are therapists.
(17:28):
We're here to help you.
We love hearing from you.
Thank you for all our all yourcomments, and you can also send
us a text and lots of love andsmiles from the english sisters.
Bye.
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