October 29, 2025 • 23 mins
Anxiety loves autopilot, and autopilot loves routine. We break that loop with tiny, doable shifts that put you back in the driver’s seat of your day—starting with your breath, your senses, and a few seconds of honest attention. As therapists, we share practical ways to calm a racing mind, including slow, sighing exhales you can use anywhere, micro nature pauses that fit between tasks, and sensory check-ins that bring you into the present without needing a long meditation session.
We get candid about how the best move is often the opposite of your urge: when you want to rush, pause; when you want to scroll, look up; when anxiety narrows your world, widen it with three seconds of sky. You’ll hear why novelty resets your brain’s patterns (yes, even an unexpectedly pungent cheese can become a mood shift), how to use small environmental cues to spark awareness, and why switching a simple routine—like wearing your watch on the other wrist—can snap you out of the haze. We also talk about travel and home, and how stepping away helps you appreciate what’s already good, right where you are.
To help you reshape your inputs, we offer a lightweight phone swap: send yourself a three-line email each day noting what’s okay or good, star it, and reread it instead of doomscrolling. Close the evening with a brief wind-down and a moment of gratitude to prime deeper rest and kinder dreams. These aren’t grand overhauls; they’re micro levers that shift state, build confidence, and make everyday life feel textured again. If you’re ready to interrupt the anxiety cycle with simple, repeatable habits, press play, try one tool, and tell us what changed. Subscribe, share with a friend who could use a calmer day, and leave a quick review to help others find the show.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Taking control of your daily habits can seem
something quite challenging,can't it?
SPEAKER_02 (00:08):
Well, actually taking control of them can, yes,
because our habits are somethingthat we often do unconsciously
and we just don't even realisewe're doing them.
So I think if you actuallyactively consciously think about
them and you take control ofthem, that's when you're heading
towards, you know, your way.
SPEAKER_00 (00:30):
You're well on your way of actually getting to where
you want to go.
And that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode of Get Real with theEnglish sisters.
Mind, health, and anxiety.
And we are therapists, and we'rehere to help you.
(00:50):
Deep breath in.
SPEAKER_02 (00:51):
Deep breath in, a nice sigh.
You know, because that's one ofthe things that we often take
for granted, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00 (00:58):
And one of the things that we often don't take
control of.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
Very much, very, very much.
That's very, very, very true.
You find yourself breathing,yes, in a certain way, you know,
like if you're not feeling, ifyou're feeling anxious, you'll
start breathing more rapidly anduh more uh you'll have that
shallow breath.
You'll have the quick breath.
unknown (01:23):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Quick breath.
Yikes, it makes me feel anxious,just thinking about it, you
know, that quick anxious breath.
SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
But that can easily be remedied with a little giggle
and a laugh, can't it?
SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
Yeah, or a sigh, or a you know, you know, these
sighs of relief and and the deepbreaths, yeah, they are actually
very, very helpful.
SPEAKER_00 (01:44):
And why are we just you know going on about this
deep breathing all the time?
You hear it all the time, don'tyou?
Take a deep breath.
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
Yeah, it can be boring, can't it?
Because when you're feeling inthat particular state of mind,
you don't actually want to dothese things, do you?
SPEAKER_00 (02:00):
No, you think why?
It's the opposite of what youwant to do, which is what often
I find that's what I find sointeresting about our minds.
Often the opposite of what weactually want to do is what we
should be doing and what isactually good for us.
But it's what you don't want todo.
No, it's like what youprocrastinate to doing or what
(02:22):
you what you avoid doing or whatyou're fearful of doing is what
actually is the best thing foryou.
SPEAKER_02 (02:30):
And why is that?
And I think if we get back downto the nitty-gritty, it's
because it's not part of ourhabit.
SPEAKER_00 (02:38):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (02:39):
And we are habitual creatures, we do what we know is
best, we do what makes us stayin that little area, that
comfort zone that we're used to.
So every day we're used to beingin a state of constant anxiety,
even though it's horrible.
But we're used to that.
(03:00):
We're used to getting up,rushing around, feeling anxious,
uh, drinking our coffee, andthen thinking, oh, the next
thing, reading the emails,getting back, you know, that's
what we're used to.
You drink another cup of coffee,feeling stressed, feeling all,
you know, that that's it's it'sawful, really.
But but that's how 90% of uh wefeel we're functioning.
(03:25):
Yes, we feel we're functioninglike that.
What we're not used to is uhwaking up, taking a few deep
breaths, maybe doing a fewstretches, uh you know,
connecting with ourselves, doingyou know, something that's not
don't pick not picking up ourphone, connecting with nature.
SPEAKER_00 (03:46):
Like the other day I opened the blinds and I saw the
red sky in the morning and Ithought Shepherd's morning.
Shepherd's morning.
But it was so beautiful, and Ithought, wow, nature is so
beautiful.
If you just stopped to look, Imean, I could have easily not
seen it.
SPEAKER_02 (04:02):
You could have not seen it.
SPEAKER_00 (04:04):
Opened the blinds and just gone about my quickly
rushing to get my coffee becauseI was in a rush.
But no, I just stopped for thatsplit second to absorb it.
Uh, I tried to get my husband tolook at it.
We all I always try.
That doesn't work.
SPEAKER_01 (04:19):
He said he's not bothered.
Yeah, I mean, I just went out tolet the cat out the other day
and I saw that big full moon,and I quickly came screaming
inside, you know, cha-cha, comeand see the moon.
No way, I've seen it.
SPEAKER_02 (04:36):
I can when have you seen it?
You haven't seen it tonight, butanyway, it's like you want to
share the joy, but at least Ithought I saw that.
SPEAKER_00 (04:44):
But I can still picture that beautiful sky now.
So, I mean, it leaves you withsomething, it leaves you with
that calmness, with that mindfulmoment, which it can become a
habit.
You can open when you open theblinds or open your front door
before you step into the car oryou know, step onto the pavement
to rush off.
You can just take one minute tolook around you and look at the
(05:07):
sky.
It's not even a minute, it'slike three seconds.
It's a moment between moments,like what this is.
SPEAKER_02 (05:13):
Well done, yeah, that's exactly it.
One moment between anothermoment can make you look and
just notice that the leaves arechanging colour, or you know,
it's it's amazing now that thecolours, because we're going in
towards the autumn season, thecolours are incredible out
there.
And it maybe it's easier tonotice them now because of the
(05:35):
change and and that you wouldn'tprobably normally notice, but
whatever it is, if it'ssomething that grabs your
attention, I think it's worthfocusing on in that moment in
between those moments.
SPEAKER_00 (05:47):
In order for it to grab your attention, you have to
be mindful.
I know, and like it's a catch-22situation, so you have to like
build it into your habit to say,I'm gonna look at the sky four
times a day or once a day, Iknow, or I'm gonna go and stop
and see if there's a tree or acat in the road.
(06:07):
You know, just these littlemindful moments of nature that
we are part, we are nature, sowe need nature to thrive and
survive around us, and we needto take note of it.
And even if you live in aconcrete jungle, there's always
those weeds that sprout upbetween the concrete, that
little piece of grass that'strying to survive.
(06:27):
Survive the tree, the sky, thesky.
SPEAKER_02 (06:30):
You look up and you see, you'll see the cloud moving
past, it's one second, andyou'll notice something, and
you'll notice something that canhelp you feel that connection
because you are nature, you wecannot divide from it when we
divide from it, and when webecome when we're too involved
(06:52):
in the inside and all thetechnical world, then we can
feel as if we're losing.
Sometimes you can feel reallyconnected because you're
chatting and etc.
But other times you need to getthat real connection.
Yeah, you need to groundyourself.
You need to ground yourself.
So there's simple things thatcan become habits, even though
(07:16):
we don't want to do them.
Because ironically, you do notwant to do these things, you
just want to get up and go aboutand and and trudge along, wash
your face, do everything younormally do, because that's what
you normally do, and that's yournormal comfort.
So, in order to be able to growand to be able to get out of the
(07:37):
cycle, you need to become awareof the cycle in the first place.
SPEAKER_00 (07:42):
A lot of the time, like when you're washing your
face, you need to notice if thetemperature of the water, if
it's cold, if it's fresh, ifit's icy, if it's warm.
You know, be appreciative of thefact that you have water to wash
your face with.
It's all these little likenuances in your daily life that
can that can add to the richnessof it and make you feel like
(08:07):
complete and grounded and youknow, part of something bigger
than yourself.
SPEAKER_02 (08:12):
I agree with that.
Yeah, it's the sensoryexperiences that we often are
not consciously aware of that Ithink we have to bring to our
attention those things that wetouch and we feel, and the water
splashing on our faces, or evenyou know, when we touch our
hair, anything, it's all thesesensory experiences that they
(08:36):
can really enrich.
It's the same way when you reada good book and you become
totally immersed in the words,it's because the author is
describing how the the characterfeels, how they feel through
what they're experiencingthrough through their this
sensory world.
(08:57):
So if we can begin to becomemore aware of that, what things
smell like and hopefully they'regood things, you know, but even
the bad things, even the badthings, you become more aware.
Yeah, you become more aware ofthem.
I mean, the odd yesterday myhusband again he bought he
bought this posh cheese becauseit was on sale, so he said,
(09:19):
Okay, it was like discounted,you know, those special offers.
This is French cheese, and hesaid, Oh, I bought this French
cheese.
I said, Oh wow, I hope it's notone of those stinky ones.
Anyway, and we left it, and thenyesterday he got the cheese out.
I put it in a little Tupperwarething, and he got it out.
He didn't notice it at first,and afterwards he turned around
(09:40):
and he said, Oh no, I think thecat has pooed somewhere.
And I said, The cat, that's soweird.
I mean, she's she's half of thetime, she's an outdoor cat
anyway.
We do have a litter box for her,but she's very rarely inside
yet, because it's not even and Isaid, The cat, and then he
turned around and he said, Oh mygod, no, it's the cheese, you
(10:02):
know, and we had this massivelaughter.
So that was you know, heactually was using that's his
sensory mat.
And then he said, Do you want totry it?
SPEAKER_01 (10:11):
And I said, No, thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (10:12):
Not after all that bought you into the moment, it
certainly brought us into themoment.
SPEAKER_02 (10:16):
It was like because he was like just getting
everything.
Oh, I'm just gonna make a snackbefore dinner, and you know, and
it was the usual habits, usualpatterns, and that made us have
a laugh.
And but it was, yes, because itwas something that was strong.
SPEAKER_00 (10:33):
Yeah, but just the fact that he had there for a
minute, just the fact that hehad enriched his own life and
your life with buying somethingout of the ordinary that was not
habitual for him.
SPEAKER_01 (10:44):
Exactly.
That was really weird, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (10:46):
So that was already, you know, a good thing, wasn't
it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:50):
I mean, it's but it's not even one of those
super, you know, the the I wasgonna say smelly ones.
It wasn't even one of those,really.
It's probably really on the mildrange.
SPEAKER_02 (11:02):
I can't even remember what it was called now,
but it Ah, Sant Albany.
It's a very apparently it's oneof these.
Famous cheesy.
Well, I don't know if it'sfamous.
You probably cheese experts outthere are probably say, oh,
that's nothing, you know, as faras um cheese smells go.
Yes.
But anyway, that was just alittle anecdote.
(11:25):
It was it was funny though.
SPEAKER_00 (11:27):
You can change with the fact that you can change
your mindset though by bychanging your habits throughout
the day.
That was an unusual habit, Imean it was an unusual habit.
SPEAKER_02 (11:37):
He only purchased it because it was on like these
special discounts.
SPEAKER_00 (11:40):
These special discounts can like with the
holidays as well, can't they?
They can entice you into goingsomewhere you wouldn't normally
want to go to.
Yes, I know, yeah.
Or be inclined to go to becauseyou you think you know it's a
deal.
SPEAKER_02 (11:55):
Because of the deal, exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (11:57):
The deal will bring you into it.
SPEAKER_02 (11:59):
Sometimes new deals though, they can uh like they
enrich your experience, is thatwhat you were saying?
Because you do, becauseotherwise shall we not have gone
there.
New things that they entice youinto bringing new things into
your life, so thus you'reenriching your life with
whatever it is, a new sensoryexperience with food.
(12:20):
But obviously, he said the tastewas amazing.
SPEAKER_00 (12:23):
He did try it.
SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
Of course, he tried it.
He he loves it, he said it'sgreat.
Yeah, he was toasting the bread.
Yeah, he doesn't affect him.
No, no, it doesn't affect him.
It sort of like immediately putme off because I'm not that good
with new things either.
SPEAKER_00 (12:38):
So I will I said I will but the association, the
association was like, oh no,thanks.
The association with the um ifhe hadn't said that I probably
would have gone and tried it,yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:52):
I thought, oh my gosh, you know, that certainly
put me off.
Anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (12:56):
Well, as therapists, we have a technique that can, if
you want to stop doingsomething, if you're like if
you're in the habit of um saysmoking and you associate it
with something negative, everytime you put a cigarette in your
mouth, you can associate it withpoop or something if you wanted
to stop smoking.
Um, you know, it's actually veryeffective if you did the whole
(13:18):
technique, isn't it?
Oh yeah.
So I can imagine for you.
For chocolates as well, that canwork.
Yes, you know the um thetechnique that immediately went
into your mind, and youobviously didn't have anything
to do with it after that.
SPEAKER_02 (13:31):
No, no, no, no, no.
It's very, very powerful thattechnique.
That's for another day, it'sanother story.
But that that does sort of blendinto what we're saying because
it is about habits, isn't it?
And about breaking some of thehabits that are not really
useful to us, such as you know,perhaps smoking or other habits
like keeping us uh makingkeeping us stuck in the same
(13:55):
place because like when youalways keep the same foods or
you always eat the you know, dothe same things, it's kind of
the same thing.
SPEAKER_00 (14:02):
So even trying new foods is a way of you know
expanding your sense of going todifferent places as well, you
know, going to a differentrestaurant instead of always the
same one.
I know in the end we always endup going to the same one because
when we go to different ones, wealways prefer the one we used
to, but that is habit.
(14:24):
You're sort of like so happy toget back.
So creatures of habit.
Yeah, I recognize that.
Someone I re I I was listeningto on a podcast, they said that
they that the travelling wasoverrated for them because when
they when they got back home iswhen they were the happiest.
Yes, with their back in theirspace.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mean what you're wonderingabout travelling now.
(14:47):
No, I'm just thinking that it'sit's so true, but if you miss
out on those experiences, youcan't even appreciate your home.
You appreciate your home morewhen you actually, even if you
did something like that, youdidn't think you got that much
pleasure or joy out of it, outof a trip, say.
But when you get home, youappreciate your home so much.
So it shows that it still bringsyou back into the present
(15:08):
moment, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_02 (15:09):
Well, it makes you see things that you can't see
because sometimes it's like inrelationships, until you that
person leaves you or is nolonger with you, you you don't
realize how much you actuallyappreciated them.
A lot of the time it's likethat, and that's sad.
What you want to do is to beable to appreciate the person
(15:30):
you're with and to be able tosee them for their fullness
while they're here with you, notwhen they've gone because they
felt neglected or becausethey've died or something
tragic, but just because youknow it it's a shame, isn't it?
It's nice to be able toexperience them for who they are
now, and the same thing is forall of your loved ones and for
(15:53):
your loved places like yourhome.
If it's somewhere where you feelreally comfortable in, you don't
want to leave it.
Sometimes you have to leave itin order to be able to see it
again, and to appreciate itmore.
Because the eyes become veiledwith um with habit, and once we
are our eyes uh are veiled, wedon't have these same
(16:14):
experiences.
We need to be able to get awayin order to have a clearer
vision of what we already have,yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:23):
And we need to challenge ourselves and do the
things that we feel fearful of,obviously, if they're helpful to
us, if we understandecologically that they're
helpful to us, not somethingthat's gonna harm us.
Yes.
For the helpful things that willmake us grow and be better
people, I think we really dohave to like give ourselves that
(16:46):
little push and encourageourselves to do that and ask for
a helping hand if you need one.
But I think it's those firststeps that are really the most
important because that'll getyou on a roll to doing things
that uh maybe different to yournormal habits.
SPEAKER_02 (17:01):
Absolutely, it's that breaking those cut, you
don't have to break themdramatically, but just cutting a
little like a little crack anddoing something that's slightly
different can then take you onto the next step.
And so life becomes moreexciting.
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
Life becomes, you know, that little challenge.
Is that even just wearing yourwatch on your you know your
right hand instead of your lefthand?
Really?
Yeah, simple things like that.
Something like that that you'reso you're so used to feeling it
on your left hand, looking it onyour left hand, that on your
right hand, just even that willjust bring you back into a
(17:44):
mindful moment because it's justsomething that's breaking that
habit of just normalness thatyou're you're so used to.
Yeah, and it that that that canlike zombify you, can't it?
You can go around feeling likeyou're like you're not really
there, you're like in a in ahaze.
SPEAKER_02 (18:01):
It's like veiled.
It's this kind of it's the onlyway I can explain it, yeah.
I I I felt like that before.
SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
And it's not fully like present.
You're like, I don't know.
I suppose it's all the all thehormones you have through the
anxiety, the the adrenaline, andall these things that are going
through you.
SPEAKER_02 (18:20):
But well, if the adrenaline is in is intense, so
then you can experienceeverything a lot, and that can
be too much because you don'twant to really experience that
so much.
But if it's like a mild kind ofjust chronic that's a word, not
mild, I wanted to say chronicanxiety.
(18:41):
Sometimes it's that powerful,yes, that kind of chronic state
that we are seeing more and moreof nowadays that can be helped
by becoming aware of your dailyhabits and realizing that habits
are something that can reallymake or break your entire life
(19:03):
experience.
So by becoming aware of yourdaily habits, you can certainly
start to crack open and see newnew ways of living and actually
see that possibilities for you,exactly, and there's lots of
possibilities out there, lots ofpossibilities that are just not
(19:28):
in your vision at the momentbecause because we don't
actually see that much.
Our brain focuses on what weknow, and it it kind of like
sort of fades out everythingelse.
So if you're not it's not inyour in your life, it's not in
your vision, you don't knowabout it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:49):
So like Yeah, and I think some things we can
consciously like delete from ourvision, things that are making
us feel anxious, you know, likethe habits that are making you
feel anxious, like if you havethe habit of spending a lot of
time on your phone and younotice that's giving you
anxiety, you can break thathabit and you know put a time
limit on yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
Right, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (20:10):
Or if you have the habit of like looking through
the world news and then gettinganxious, or looking through the
medical journal and then gettinganxious about it something, you
know, that something's not rightwith you.
You can maybe start to feel abit.
SPEAKER_02 (20:23):
You can create new habits.
Yes, create a new habit.
Like if you're always on yourphone, decide to write three
things down that were good todayor that are good about your
life, and send an email toyourself.
Afterwards, when you see thatemail, you can see it, and it
and it'll be a reminderthroughout your day.
(20:44):
Whenever you pick up your phone,you can see that email, you put
a star on it, make it yourfavourite, and just read through
it, and the next day you can seethat same email, and perhaps you
can think about another threethings that were good about your
day, or that are actually okaywith you now.
You can say, Well, health isokay, you know, um, work is
okay, or if it's good, say it'sgood.
(21:08):
Notice three things that weregood or okay about how you are
now.
You know, relationship is good,uh, kids are okay.
I said that to myself the otherday, and I actually liked it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:21):
When I saw it, yeah, when I saw it, I thought, oh,
yeah, there's a study I thinkthat said that if you if you
before you go to sleep at night,if you like unwind and then you
think about all the goodanything good that's happened to
you that day, it could just belike having a moment to yourself
to have a cup of coffee or teaor whatever, but just think of
(21:42):
something good that happened ora loved one that said they loved
you or whatever.
You will feel calmer when you goto sleep, and you'll feel you'll
have nicer dreams.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Oh, that's lovely.
So I think on the dream note wecan uh we can say goodbye for
today, definitely.
SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Do come and visit us on our YouTube channel as well,
where we have the YouTube videoof the podcast and the podcast
version as well.
And it's available on ApplePodcasts, Spotify, or wherever
you get your podcast.
So do come and say hi, you cantext us, or you can say hi on
Instagram.
SPEAKER_02 (22:21):
Let us know if you find any way of sort of
interrupting your daily habitsby slowly introducing a new
habit that you can find is veryhelpful.
And maybe other people can dothat too, like the email one or
like looking out of the windowin the morning, just something
really simple that we can alladd to to our lives to make
(22:44):
them.
Yes, to add.
We don't have it take away,productive, but let's just add
some new stuff, new helpfulhabits.
SPEAKER_00 (22:54):
Love and smiles from the English sisters.
Bye bye, bye bye, bye, bye bye.
Taking control of your daily habits can seem
something quite challenging,can't it?
SPEAKER_02 (00:08):
Well, actually taking control of them can, yes,
because our habits are somethingthat we often do unconsciously
and we just don't even realisewe're doing them.
So I think if you actuallyactively consciously think about
them and you take control ofthem, that's when you're heading
towards, you know, your way.
SPEAKER_00 (00:30):
You're well on your way of actually getting to where
you want to go.
And that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode of Get Real with theEnglish sisters.
Mind, health, and anxiety.
And we are therapists, and we'rehere to help you.
(00:50):
Deep breath in.
SPEAKER_02 (00:51):
Deep breath in, a nice sigh.
You know, because that's one ofthe things that we often take
for granted, isn't it?
SPEAKER_00 (00:58):
And one of the things that we often don't take
control of.
SPEAKER_02 (01:02):
Very much, very, very much.
That's very, very, very true.
You find yourself breathing,yes, in a certain way, you know,
like if you're not feeling, ifyou're feeling anxious, you'll
start breathing more rapidly anduh more uh you'll have that
shallow breath.
You'll have the quick breath.
unknown (01:23):
Yes.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Quick breath.
Yikes, it makes me feel anxious,just thinking about it, you
know, that quick anxious breath.
SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
But that can easily be remedied with a little giggle
and a laugh, can't it?
SPEAKER_02 (01:35):
Yeah, or a sigh, or a you know, you know, these
sighs of relief and and the deepbreaths, yeah, they are actually
very, very helpful.
SPEAKER_00 (01:44):
And why are we just you know going on about this
deep breathing all the time?
You hear it all the time, don'tyou?
Take a deep breath.
SPEAKER_02 (01:51):
Yeah, it can be boring, can't it?
Because when you're feeling inthat particular state of mind,
you don't actually want to dothese things, do you?
SPEAKER_00 (02:00):
No, you think why?
It's the opposite of what youwant to do, which is what often
I find that's what I find sointeresting about our minds.
Often the opposite of what weactually want to do is what we
should be doing and what isactually good for us.
But it's what you don't want todo.
No, it's like what youprocrastinate to doing or what
(02:22):
you what you avoid doing or whatyou're fearful of doing is what
actually is the best thing foryou.
SPEAKER_02 (02:30):
And why is that?
And I think if we get back downto the nitty-gritty, it's
because it's not part of ourhabit.
SPEAKER_00 (02:38):
Exactly.
SPEAKER_02 (02:39):
And we are habitual creatures, we do what we know is
best, we do what makes us stayin that little area, that
comfort zone that we're used to.
So every day we're used to beingin a state of constant anxiety,
even though it's horrible.
But we're used to that.
(03:00):
We're used to getting up,rushing around, feeling anxious,
uh, drinking our coffee, andthen thinking, oh, the next
thing, reading the emails,getting back, you know, that's
what we're used to.
You drink another cup of coffee,feeling stressed, feeling all,
you know, that that's it's it'sawful, really.
But but that's how 90% of uh wefeel we're functioning.
(03:25):
Yes, we feel we're functioninglike that.
What we're not used to is uhwaking up, taking a few deep
breaths, maybe doing a fewstretches, uh you know,
connecting with ourselves, doingyou know, something that's not
don't pick not picking up ourphone, connecting with nature.
SPEAKER_00 (03:46):
Like the other day I opened the blinds and I saw the
red sky in the morning and Ithought Shepherd's morning.
Shepherd's morning.
But it was so beautiful, and Ithought, wow, nature is so
beautiful.
If you just stopped to look, Imean, I could have easily not
seen it.
SPEAKER_02 (04:02):
You could have not seen it.
SPEAKER_00 (04:04):
Opened the blinds and just gone about my quickly
rushing to get my coffee becauseI was in a rush.
But no, I just stopped for thatsplit second to absorb it.
Uh, I tried to get my husband tolook at it.
We all I always try.
That doesn't work.
SPEAKER_01 (04:19):
He said he's not bothered.
Yeah, I mean, I just went out tolet the cat out the other day
and I saw that big full moon,and I quickly came screaming
inside, you know, cha-cha, comeand see the moon.
No way, I've seen it.
SPEAKER_02 (04:36):
I can when have you seen it?
You haven't seen it tonight, butanyway, it's like you want to
share the joy, but at least Ithought I saw that.
SPEAKER_00 (04:44):
But I can still picture that beautiful sky now.
So, I mean, it leaves you withsomething, it leaves you with
that calmness, with that mindfulmoment, which it can become a
habit.
You can open when you open theblinds or open your front door
before you step into the car oryou know, step onto the pavement
to rush off.
You can just take one minute tolook around you and look at the
(05:07):
sky.
It's not even a minute, it'slike three seconds.
It's a moment between moments,like what this is.
SPEAKER_02 (05:13):
Well done, yeah, that's exactly it.
One moment between anothermoment can make you look and
just notice that the leaves arechanging colour, or you know,
it's it's amazing now that thecolours, because we're going in
towards the autumn season, thecolours are incredible out
there.
And it maybe it's easier tonotice them now because of the
(05:35):
change and and that you wouldn'tprobably normally notice, but
whatever it is, if it'ssomething that grabs your
attention, I think it's worthfocusing on in that moment in
between those moments.
SPEAKER_00 (05:47):
In order for it to grab your attention, you have to
be mindful.
I know, and like it's a catch-22situation, so you have to like
build it into your habit to say,I'm gonna look at the sky four
times a day or once a day, Iknow, or I'm gonna go and stop
and see if there's a tree or acat in the road.
(06:07):
You know, just these littlemindful moments of nature that
we are part, we are nature, sowe need nature to thrive and
survive around us, and we needto take note of it.
And even if you live in aconcrete jungle, there's always
those weeds that sprout upbetween the concrete, that
little piece of grass that'strying to survive.
(06:27):
Survive the tree, the sky, thesky.
SPEAKER_02 (06:30):
You look up and you see, you'll see the cloud moving
past, it's one second, andyou'll notice something, and
you'll notice something that canhelp you feel that connection
because you are nature, you wecannot divide from it when we
divide from it, and when webecome when we're too involved
(06:52):
in the inside and all thetechnical world, then we can
feel as if we're losing.
Sometimes you can feel reallyconnected because you're
chatting and etc.
But other times you need to getthat real connection.
Yeah, you need to groundyourself.
You need to ground yourself.
So there's simple things thatcan become habits, even though
(07:16):
we don't want to do them.
Because ironically, you do notwant to do these things, you
just want to get up and go aboutand and and trudge along, wash
your face, do everything younormally do, because that's what
you normally do, and that's yournormal comfort.
So, in order to be able to growand to be able to get out of the
(07:37):
cycle, you need to become awareof the cycle in the first place.
SPEAKER_00 (07:42):
A lot of the time, like when you're washing your
face, you need to notice if thetemperature of the water, if
it's cold, if it's fresh, ifit's icy, if it's warm.
You know, be appreciative of thefact that you have water to wash
your face with.
It's all these little likenuances in your daily life that
can that can add to the richnessof it and make you feel like
(08:07):
complete and grounded and youknow, part of something bigger
than yourself.
SPEAKER_02 (08:12):
I agree with that.
Yeah, it's the sensoryexperiences that we often are
not consciously aware of that Ithink we have to bring to our
attention those things that wetouch and we feel, and the water
splashing on our faces, or evenyou know, when we touch our
hair, anything, it's all thesesensory experiences that they
(08:36):
can really enrich.
It's the same way when you reada good book and you become
totally immersed in the words,it's because the author is
describing how the the characterfeels, how they feel through
what they're experiencingthrough through their this
sensory world.
(08:57):
So if we can begin to becomemore aware of that, what things
smell like and hopefully they'regood things, you know, but even
the bad things, even the badthings, you become more aware.
Yeah, you become more aware ofthem.
I mean, the odd yesterday myhusband again he bought he
bought this posh cheese becauseit was on sale, so he said,
(09:19):
Okay, it was like discounted,you know, those special offers.
This is French cheese, and hesaid, Oh, I bought this French
cheese.
I said, Oh wow, I hope it's notone of those stinky ones.
Anyway, and we left it, and thenyesterday he got the cheese out.
I put it in a little Tupperwarething, and he got it out.
He didn't notice it at first,and afterwards he turned around
(09:40):
and he said, Oh no, I think thecat has pooed somewhere.
And I said, The cat, that's soweird.
I mean, she's she's half of thetime, she's an outdoor cat
anyway.
We do have a litter box for her,but she's very rarely inside
yet, because it's not even and Isaid, The cat, and then he
turned around and he said, Oh mygod, no, it's the cheese, you
(10:02):
know, and we had this massivelaughter.
So that was you know, heactually was using that's his
sensory mat.
And then he said, Do you want totry it?
SPEAKER_01 (10:11):
And I said, No, thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (10:12):
Not after all that bought you into the moment, it
certainly brought us into themoment.
SPEAKER_02 (10:16):
It was like because he was like just getting
everything.
Oh, I'm just gonna make a snackbefore dinner, and you know, and
it was the usual habits, usualpatterns, and that made us have
a laugh.
And but it was, yes, because itwas something that was strong.
SPEAKER_00 (10:33):
Yeah, but just the fact that he had there for a
minute, just the fact that hehad enriched his own life and
your life with buying somethingout of the ordinary that was not
habitual for him.
SPEAKER_01 (10:44):
Exactly.
That was really weird, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (10:46):
So that was already, you know, a good thing, wasn't
it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (10:50):
I mean, it's but it's not even one of those
super, you know, the the I wasgonna say smelly ones.
It wasn't even one of those,really.
It's probably really on the mildrange.
SPEAKER_02 (11:02):
I can't even remember what it was called now,
but it Ah, Sant Albany.
It's a very apparently it's oneof these.
Famous cheesy.
Well, I don't know if it'sfamous.
You probably cheese experts outthere are probably say, oh,
that's nothing, you know, as faras um cheese smells go.
Yes.
But anyway, that was just alittle anecdote.
(11:25):
It was it was funny though.
SPEAKER_00 (11:27):
You can change with the fact that you can change
your mindset though by bychanging your habits throughout
the day.
That was an unusual habit, Imean it was an unusual habit.
SPEAKER_02 (11:37):
He only purchased it because it was on like these
special discounts.
SPEAKER_00 (11:40):
These special discounts can like with the
holidays as well, can't they?
They can entice you into goingsomewhere you wouldn't normally
want to go to.
Yes, I know, yeah.
Or be inclined to go to becauseyou you think you know it's a
deal.
SPEAKER_02 (11:55):
Because of the deal, exactly.
SPEAKER_00 (11:57):
The deal will bring you into it.
SPEAKER_02 (11:59):
Sometimes new deals though, they can uh like they
enrich your experience, is thatwhat you were saying?
Because you do, becauseotherwise shall we not have gone
there.
New things that they entice youinto bringing new things into
your life, so thus you'reenriching your life with
whatever it is, a new sensoryexperience with food.
(12:20):
But obviously, he said the tastewas amazing.
SPEAKER_00 (12:23):
He did try it.
SPEAKER_02 (12:24):
Of course, he tried it.
He he loves it, he said it'sgreat.
Yeah, he was toasting the bread.
Yeah, he doesn't affect him.
No, no, it doesn't affect him.
It sort of like immediately putme off because I'm not that good
with new things either.
SPEAKER_00 (12:38):
So I will I said I will but the association, the
association was like, oh no,thanks.
The association with the um ifhe hadn't said that I probably
would have gone and tried it,yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (12:52):
I thought, oh my gosh, you know, that certainly
put me off.
Anyway.
SPEAKER_00 (12:56):
Well, as therapists, we have a technique that can, if
you want to stop doingsomething, if you're like if
you're in the habit of um saysmoking and you associate it
with something negative, everytime you put a cigarette in your
mouth, you can associate it withpoop or something if you wanted
to stop smoking.
Um, you know, it's actually veryeffective if you did the whole
(13:18):
technique, isn't it?
Oh yeah.
So I can imagine for you.
For chocolates as well, that canwork.
Yes, you know the um thetechnique that immediately went
into your mind, and youobviously didn't have anything
to do with it after that.
SPEAKER_02 (13:31):
No, no, no, no, no.
It's very, very powerful thattechnique.
That's for another day, it'sanother story.
But that that does sort of blendinto what we're saying because
it is about habits, isn't it?
And about breaking some of thehabits that are not really
useful to us, such as you know,perhaps smoking or other habits
like keeping us uh makingkeeping us stuck in the same
(13:55):
place because like when youalways keep the same foods or
you always eat the you know, dothe same things, it's kind of
the same thing.
SPEAKER_00 (14:02):
So even trying new foods is a way of you know
expanding your sense of going todifferent places as well, you
know, going to a differentrestaurant instead of always the
same one.
I know in the end we always endup going to the same one because
when we go to different ones, wealways prefer the one we used
to, but that is habit.
(14:24):
You're sort of like so happy toget back.
So creatures of habit.
Yeah, I recognize that.
Someone I re I I was listeningto on a podcast, they said that
they that the travelling wasoverrated for them because when
they when they got back home iswhen they were the happiest.
Yes, with their back in theirspace.
Yeah, yeah.
So I mean what you're wonderingabout travelling now.
(14:47):
No, I'm just thinking that it'sit's so true, but if you miss
out on those experiences, youcan't even appreciate your home.
You appreciate your home morewhen you actually, even if you
did something like that, youdidn't think you got that much
pleasure or joy out of it, outof a trip, say.
But when you get home, youappreciate your home so much.
So it shows that it still bringsyou back into the present
(15:08):
moment, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_02 (15:09):
Well, it makes you see things that you can't see
because sometimes it's like inrelationships, until you that
person leaves you or is nolonger with you, you you don't
realize how much you actuallyappreciated them.
A lot of the time it's likethat, and that's sad.
What you want to do is to beable to appreciate the person
(15:30):
you're with and to be able tosee them for their fullness
while they're here with you, notwhen they've gone because they
felt neglected or becausethey've died or something
tragic, but just because youknow it it's a shame, isn't it?
It's nice to be able toexperience them for who they are
now, and the same thing is forall of your loved ones and for
(15:53):
your loved places like yourhome.
If it's somewhere where you feelreally comfortable in, you don't
want to leave it.
Sometimes you have to leave itin order to be able to see it
again, and to appreciate itmore.
Because the eyes become veiledwith um with habit, and once we
are our eyes uh are veiled, wedon't have these same
(16:14):
experiences.
We need to be able to get awayin order to have a clearer
vision of what we already have,yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (16:23):
And we need to challenge ourselves and do the
things that we feel fearful of,obviously, if they're helpful to
us, if we understandecologically that they're
helpful to us, not somethingthat's gonna harm us.
Yes.
For the helpful things that willmake us grow and be better
people, I think we really dohave to like give ourselves that
(16:46):
little push and encourageourselves to do that and ask for
a helping hand if you need one.
But I think it's those firststeps that are really the most
important because that'll getyou on a roll to doing things
that uh maybe different to yournormal habits.
SPEAKER_02 (17:01):
Absolutely, it's that breaking those cut, you
don't have to break themdramatically, but just cutting a
little like a little crack anddoing something that's slightly
different can then take you onto the next step.
And so life becomes moreexciting.
SPEAKER_00 (17:24):
Life becomes, you know, that little challenge.
Is that even just wearing yourwatch on your you know your
right hand instead of your lefthand?
Really?
Yeah, simple things like that.
Something like that that you'reso you're so used to feeling it
on your left hand, looking it onyour left hand, that on your
right hand, just even that willjust bring you back into a
(17:44):
mindful moment because it's justsomething that's breaking that
habit of just normalness thatyou're you're so used to.
Yeah, and it that that that canlike zombify you, can't it?
You can go around feeling likeyou're like you're not really
there, you're like in a in ahaze.
SPEAKER_02 (18:01):
It's like veiled.
It's this kind of it's the onlyway I can explain it, yeah.
I I I felt like that before.
SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
And it's not fully like present.
You're like, I don't know.
I suppose it's all the all thehormones you have through the
anxiety, the the adrenaline, andall these things that are going
through you.
SPEAKER_02 (18:20):
But well, if the adrenaline is in is intense, so
then you can experienceeverything a lot, and that can
be too much because you don'twant to really experience that
so much.
But if it's like a mild kind ofjust chronic that's a word, not
mild, I wanted to say chronicanxiety.
(18:41):
Sometimes it's that powerful,yes, that kind of chronic state
that we are seeing more and moreof nowadays that can be helped
by becoming aware of your dailyhabits and realizing that habits
are something that can reallymake or break your entire life
(19:03):
experience.
So by becoming aware of yourdaily habits, you can certainly
start to crack open and see newnew ways of living and actually
see that possibilities for you,exactly, and there's lots of
possibilities out there, lots ofpossibilities that are just not
(19:28):
in your vision at the momentbecause because we don't
actually see that much.
Our brain focuses on what weknow, and it it kind of like
sort of fades out everythingelse.
So if you're not it's not inyour in your life, it's not in
your vision, you don't knowabout it.
SPEAKER_00 (19:49):
So like Yeah, and I think some things we can
consciously like delete from ourvision, things that are making
us feel anxious, you know, likethe habits that are making you
feel anxious, like if you havethe habit of spending a lot of
time on your phone and younotice that's giving you
anxiety, you can break thathabit and you know put a time
limit on yourself.
SPEAKER_01 (20:09):
Right, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (20:10):
Or if you have the habit of like looking through
the world news and then gettinganxious, or looking through the
medical journal and then gettinganxious about it something, you
know, that something's not rightwith you.
You can maybe start to feel abit.
SPEAKER_02 (20:23):
You can create new habits.
Yes, create a new habit.
Like if you're always on yourphone, decide to write three
things down that were good todayor that are good about your
life, and send an email toyourself.
Afterwards, when you see thatemail, you can see it, and it
and it'll be a reminderthroughout your day.
(20:44):
Whenever you pick up your phone,you can see that email, you put
a star on it, make it yourfavourite, and just read through
it, and the next day you can seethat same email, and perhaps you
can think about another threethings that were good about your
day, or that are actually okaywith you now.
You can say, Well, health isokay, you know, um, work is
okay, or if it's good, say it'sgood.
(21:08):
Notice three things that weregood or okay about how you are
now.
You know, relationship is good,uh, kids are okay.
I said that to myself the otherday, and I actually liked it.
SPEAKER_00 (21:21):
When I saw it, yeah, when I saw it, I thought, oh,
yeah, there's a study I thinkthat said that if you if you
before you go to sleep at night,if you like unwind and then you
think about all the goodanything good that's happened to
you that day, it could just belike having a moment to yourself
to have a cup of coffee or teaor whatever, but just think of
(21:42):
something good that happened ora loved one that said they loved
you or whatever.
You will feel calmer when you goto sleep, and you'll feel you'll
have nicer dreams.
SPEAKER_02 (21:52):
Oh, that's lovely.
So I think on the dream note wecan uh we can say goodbye for
today, definitely.
SPEAKER_00 (22:03):
Do come and visit us on our YouTube channel as well,
where we have the YouTube videoof the podcast and the podcast
version as well.
And it's available on ApplePodcasts, Spotify, or wherever
you get your podcast.
So do come and say hi, you cantext us, or you can say hi on
Instagram.
SPEAKER_02 (22:21):
Let us know if you find any way of sort of
interrupting your daily habitsby slowly introducing a new
habit that you can find is veryhelpful.
And maybe other people can dothat too, like the email one or
like looking out of the windowin the morning, just something
really simple that we can alladd to to our lives to make
(22:44):
them.
Yes, to add.
We don't have it take away,productive, but let's just add
some new stuff, new helpfulhabits.
SPEAKER_00 (22:54):
Love and smiles from the English sisters.
Bye bye, bye bye, bye, bye bye.
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