May 14, 2025 • 19 mins
Personal power enables us to control our minds, emotions, and make confident decisions while seeing opportunities others might miss. It's about trusting yourself enough to take risks, learning from mistakes without self-judgment, and developing the resilience to face challenges head-on.
• Understanding what personal power really means versus narcissism
• Benefits include increased confidence, better decision-making, and seeing opportunities
• Personal power allows you to trust yourself and others more effectively
• Those with personal power can learn from mistakes without dwelling on them
• Surrounding yourself with supportive, inspiring people who elevate you
• The importance of recognizing your innate gifts and achievements
• How to cultivate personal power through mindfulness and self-reflection
• Watching out for toxic relationships that diminish your personal strength
• Setting boundaries to protect your personal power and mental space
• Viewing personal power as a muscle that requires continual exercise
Let us know how you're feeling about your personal power! Send us a text or come see us on YouTube where we have the video version of the podcast. Lots of love and smiles from the English Sisters – we are therapists and we are here to help.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
How to harness your own personal power and how to
gain more of it, and is itreally worth the trouble?
Is it worth it?
We'll soon find out.
That's what we'll be chattingabout in this week's episode of
Get Real with the EnglishSisters.
(00:20):
Welcome, welcome.
Thank you so much for listening, and if you do enjoy this
podcast, please feel free toshare it with your family and
friends.
Exactly, we really doappreciate that.
Yeah, it makes a difference,absolutely so.
Personal power, I mean.
Why are we bothering even totalk about this?
I don't know, because everyoneseems to talk about personal
power now, don't they?
(00:41):
It's all.
It could sound likenarcissistic, yes, it could be
just all about me, me, me allthe time.
Well, yes, but if we thinkabout it, personal power gives
us the ability to understand andand to control our own minds
and our own emotions.
(01:02):
As to say so, you know, havingmore personal power certainly
does come with benefits.
Maybe it comes with the factthat you actually don't think
about yourself so much when youdo feel powerful well, now
you're trying to put a mindtwist on this you don't think
about.
Well, what happens is that youbelieve in yourself more so that
(01:26):
even when you're in aparticular situation where you
normally would have moreself-doubt.
Exactly you, you can.
You know you.
You learn to trust yourselfmore.
That comes with personal power.
I think you learn to understandthe ability to trust yourself
and thus you can also trustothers more as well, because you
(01:48):
believe in yourself.
So if you hear something that'sgood advice from another person
, you'll believe you can takethat on for yourself.
Yeah, whereas if you're alwaysdoubting yourself, it can be
difficult to to know whetherthat advice is actually good or
bad, exactly and you're, orwhether you're always in victim
(02:11):
mode, like you're alwaysthinking.
Well, you know, this hasn'tworked for me in the past before
, so why should it work now?
Or I'm always unlucky.
So what happens is that youknow you're going to lose out on
opportunities.
What happens when you gain morepersonal power is that,
basically, you gain moreconfidence in your own ability
(02:36):
to judge situations and to makedecisions, to make decisions and
to catch opportunities when yousee them.
Decisions and to catchopportunities when you see them,
because if you don't have thispersonal power, this strength
within you, when an opportunitycomes along, you might not be
able to see it or you might notbelieve in yourself enough that
(02:57):
you can take advantage of it.
Do you think that this personalpower comes with, like, comes
with experience, or do you thinkyou have to cultivate it?
Or does it?
Does it just?
Is it just a natural thingthat's within us all?
I think it's probably natural.
When we're born, we're allconfident enough in ourselves to
(03:18):
be able to start taking thosefirst steps.
But then what can happen, as weall know, is when we grow up.
You know, we all know that life, yes, life, um, life, life
throws, you know, things at us,family, you know we, we don't
all have the ideal environmentin which to grow up and that
(03:42):
nurtures our self-esteem andcultivates you know our inner
power.
So you know, stuff happens.
I remember thinking that peoplethat have a lot of personal
power, they kind of just, theyalways know what's right, kind
of naturally, like they alwaysseem to know what's right for
them.
Even if it's like quite a riskysituation, they go for it
(04:05):
because they've got confidence,they're like motivated.
And what happens?
Even if fearful, yes, and evenif they do make a mistake,
they'll learn from that mistakeand say, hey, they don't care.
No, they don't go judgingthemselves hours and hours and
days and years.
Even I did that wrong and thusno Next step, let's go ahead.
(04:25):
They've got that kind ofconfidence.
What can we do to get that kindof confidence?
They just put it behind them,don't they?
Yes, yeah, I was watching thatfilm about Blackberry the other
day.
Yeah, yeah, I saw that too, andI was thinking about the guy
that actually he was the CEO.
Did you see how shy he was?
Ah, the actual yeah, he wasreally afraid of speaking out.
(04:52):
He didn't have the rightvocabulary, he didn't have that
personal power.
The founder yeah, I can'tremember his name now.
Then they got the other guy inthat was the CEO to come and he
was all arrogant.
The arrogant one, yeah, and hewas all arrogant and I'll make a
phone call and I'm going to getthis done, kind of thing.
We did get things done, didn'twe as well?
(05:12):
Yeah, they certainly needed apush.
Yeah, he didn't actually have,he didn't have all the
creativity.
No, no, he didn't have, likethe yes, the personal power
within him to really go for itat the beginning.
No, he was very shy and maybehe would have come to nothing.
In the end, a Blackberry mightnot have ever been developed.
(05:35):
I don't know how true that storyis, but I think it's based a
little bit on truth.
Well, it says it's a film basedon reality.
I mean, I just watched a filmlast night so I should remember
it really clearly.
But I don't know, yeah, but Ido remember it more or less.
And yeah, definitely I didremember thinking, gosh, that
new CEO that comes in, he's veryarrogant and rude and very like
(05:58):
cliche of the time.
Yeah, you know rude and that,but I mean certainly he did
believe in himself because hewent to the bank, he got the
credit, he put his house on that, he mortgaged his house, he did
everything that he believed inthat project, even though he'd
just been sacked from hisprevious job.
So that's an example ofsomebody with a lot of
(06:22):
self-belief.
Well, he believed in what hewas doing and he thought he
probably didn't have much choiceeither, because he thought, if
I don't do this, but he was likea go-getter, so he thought I
don't just want to be cleaningdishes or whatever, I want to be
somebody he had probably theidea that taking action is
better than not taking anyaction at all and just sitting
(06:43):
in the cupboard and crying andsaying I've been, you know,
sacked now and I've lost my joband he quickly took another step
.
Of course, we don't all have tobe like that.
No, of course not.
He was very rude.
Yeah, he was really horriblebecause they had this really
calm, worth work culture.
You know, it was more playculture than work.
(07:05):
They weren't doing much work,except for the odd thing, yeah,
but they were getting somethings done.
Yes, yes, yes, some things done.
Anyway, personal power comesfrom within, does it?
It does, but I think you haveto work on it, like everything,
well, yeah, and I think you haveto work on it like everything,
well, yeah, and I think you haveto surround your with yourself
(07:26):
with people that inspire you andmotivate you and support you.
They say you are, that you arelike your five, five people,
that that you frequent.
Become like the five people youfrequent.
Yes, that is so true, gosh,that is so true.
So you have to make sure you'refrequenting the right kind of
people that are going to giveyou that power, not people that
(07:47):
are going to be pushing you downand putting you down.
Well, I think, when you do havemore personal power, you've also
got the, you know, the abilityto be more optimistic about life
in general.
You know, which is not sure ofyourself, yeah, which is not
something to take a, you knowjust to just to ignore.
I think when you don't havepersonal power, you, you doubt
(08:09):
yourself a lot.
So a lot of the time you'respending on thinking about
yourself and doubting yourself,doubting your decisions, exactly
, doubting who you, you might be, doubting your relationship.
You're always in doubt, alwaysin fear, instead of living in
abundance and in the opposite.
Yes, you've got more resilienceto be able to face those
(08:31):
challenges already, because thepower within you gives you that
resilience to go on and on, likewhat we were saying in that
film.
I mean, you might not have seenit, but it's interesting.
He gets sacked, loses his job,and then he has the resilience
to be able to go on and quicklyjump on to the next opportunity.
He sees an opportunity and hegrabs it.
(08:53):
And then blackberry does dovery, very well.
He grabs it by the horns,exactly.
He sees an advantage, you know.
He sees that's an opportunityand he'll take advantage of it.
Yeah, and he sells himself sowell, yeah.
And actually a study on powerled by the social psychologist
Adam Galinsky also suggests thatpersonal power frees a person
(09:16):
to listen to others withoutabandoning a personal vision.
Without abandoning a personalvision, power also increases
creativity and makes it easierto ignore bad advice, even if it
comes from a very importantperson.
Yeah, because we do tend to.
If you're not that sure ofyourself and you're not living
(09:38):
within your own power, like youdon't know what you really want
and who you really are, you're,you're going to be very like,
gullible.
You're going to be, even ifsomeone in a position of power,
that's what you know exactly avery important person in your
life.
You're going to listen to themand sometimes it is bad advice.
It's bad advice.
(09:59):
Don't do that, do this.
And I was watching said thatthey the wife moved in with her,
with her mum, and basically themum was breaking up their
marriage because she was sointerfering and the mum was
giving her all this advice.
That was wrong.
In the end, she realized it.
She said mum, I'm sorry, butyou have to move out because
(10:20):
this is hurting my marriage.
So now, yes, we can see allthese wonderful things about,
but how does one gain morepersonal power?
What do you actually have to doto get it?
If you feel that you're lacking,yeah, I think you have to sit
within yourself and it goes downto mindfulness again, down to
(10:41):
being with you and like, maybe,writing down your goals, writing
down what you want exactly.
Looking into yourself for aminute and thinking, okay, you
know why.
And ask yourself, maybe, why?
Why have I always doubted allmy decisions?
Why am I always doubting myself?
Why am I always, you know, isit anxiety that's getting to me?
(11:03):
What is it?
Is it maybe some the way you'vebeen brought up?
Someone or someone in your lifethat's always been putting you
down?
That's right.
Get to the root of why youalways need approval as well.
Get down to the root.
Why is it that you need otherpeople's approval for things?
Think about that for a while.
You know you have to sit withyourself and ask yourself these
(11:27):
questions.
You know, like what you weresaying, that they're fundamental
, they are, they are, they'revery, very important.
You know I was listening to apodcast this morning with the
diary of the CEO and he wassaying that the best seven hours
he'd ever spent was on a lakein a tiny little boat really
there because and he was just byhimself in the rain and in the
(11:49):
cold and fishing and he said Ididn't catch anything.
So I was just by myself withthe, with the elements, and just
my mind was just allowed towander and just just become
clear.
Just become clear and just tothink clearly.
Because, well, imagine if yougo on that fishing trip with,
with the aim to gain morepersonal power, with these
(12:11):
questions in mind and you canask yourself you know, what are
all the achievements I'vealready achieved?
Think about everything you havealready done, and no matter
what you've done, it's always alot more than what you think
you've done it is.
And also, yeah, but make surethat you, you know, you give
(12:31):
yourself credit for those innategifts that you just ignore.
Like maybe you're really cleverat doing something and you
ignore it, but you just say, no,I'm really good at that.
There's another lady, the onethat invented her skims.
She was on another podcast.
It's like an underwear thing.
Okay, she's, she's got acompany anyway.
(12:52):
She said she's created amulti-million dollar company
really, and she came from a verypoor background.
She said she's created amulti-million dollar company
Really, and she came from a verypoor background.
She said she was the oldersister.
She grew her siblings up,practically didn't go to school,
she raised them all.
But she said the thing that shehad was being able to recognise
when she lacked talent and toget someone in to do the work
(13:13):
for her.
Well, that was a good skill andher amazing skill was that she
could organise stuff.
So she was very good atorganising.
She could manage and organisethings and know when to get
things done.
So she used that to heradvantage and she's done so so
well.
But she was saying never doubtyourself.
If you have an idea, go for it.
Yeah, and don't ignore theseinnate little gifts that you've
(13:36):
got and we all have them.
Don't just dismiss them.
No, they're part of yourachievements.
That's part of something that'sreally valuable to you as a
person.
Yeah, you might be really goodat like I don't know organizing
things, like she was, and youthink that's not an actual skill
, but it is a skill.
Maybe you can read really fast,or you can.
(13:57):
You're really good at tidyingup, or I don't know.
There's something you're goingto be good at and it's usually
the things that you take forgranted.
Yes, you just don't even knowyou're good at them because they
just come so easily to you.
Those are part of your innategifts and you have to give
yourself so much credit for themand let them nurture your sense
(14:20):
of being and your sense ofpersonal power.
You know, and you've also gotto watch out for any toxic
relationships.
Sorry to say this, but they canbe detrimental to you gaining
more personal power.
You know, you've got to watchout for them.
They stop you from moving on,don't they?
They do.
There's always.
That's always.
(14:40):
That.
That's why they always say ifyou have a great idea or even a
tiny idea, just keep it toyourself as a little seedling
yes, and then water it byyourself or with someone that's
close to you that shares yoursame, same vision, because a lot
of people might want to,without even realizing it,
subconsciously they'll.
They won't want you to changebecause they're afraid of change
(15:01):
, so they're afraid of losingyou.
They want to keep you in thelittle group and keep you as the
person they know.
They don't want you to changeand go off somewhere.
You're that person and you'reimportant to their life in that
quality and they don't want youto change.
They want you to be availablefor, yes, to be there and to be
(15:21):
that person for them, the personthey go and have coffee with on
a wednesday morning, or theperson they call when they need
that, and if you're going offdoing something different, that
might, you know, for a moment,change their idea of you or
their.
But then, in the long run,you'll probably be an
inspiration to them as well,especially if they're close
(15:43):
friends and they're true, truefriends and they're not.
You know, those kinds of youknow friends.
They're gonna, they're gonna be, they're gonna be, they're
gonna appreciate the fact thatyou're committing to your values
and that you're committing toyour values.
And you can only commit to yourvalues and your beliefs if you
believe in yourself, becauseotherwise you'll just be swaying
(16:05):
with the wind.
One person says this, somebodyelse says that you just lose
yourself.
You do, you do, and I think ifyou have personal power as well,
you're more likely to be ableto listen to different opinions
and take on feedback withoutletting it offend you or letting
(16:27):
it like bother you too much.
No, because you have theconfidence within yourself to
think, okay, yes, that that thatwas a criticism, but I can.
Yeah, that is so true.
I know I can.
I can take that on board.
I acknowledge that.
Yes, instead of just snappingback and or just saying no or
just blocking that person.
(16:48):
You can really listen, andlisten with, with, with, with,
with the learning state of mind,with an open mind.
With an open mind, notlistening just to speak.
And you can also sometimes seethrough what that other person's
saying.
Maybe they're irritated,they're not in the right kind of
(17:10):
mindset when they're saying it,or maybe there is something
that I must analyze, somethingthat's happened to me or
something that I do personally,and you know we all do things
that we could, that we can, wecan improve on we can.
So let us know what you think.
Are you going to take on yourpersonal power or have you
already done so?
(17:30):
We're going to be working on it, taking more on?
Yes, because I think it's, onceagain, a lifelong thing, isn't
it?
Oh, yes, it's constant, itdoesn't just end one day.
No, it's like a skill thatrequires you know.
It's like a muscle.
You have to exercise it,utilize it, work on it, work on
it and you know yourself.
(17:52):
Like what you said, it'ssomething.
And also, I think you need to toto have and respect your own
personal power.
You need to be able to setboundaries so that other people
don't infringe on your ownpersonal power.
I agree with that?
Yeah, because you need space.
You need space in which to, tothink to, to have your own, and
(18:14):
if you don't have boundaries andyou're always doing things for
other people other people arealways in your space that can be
damaging.
That can have.
Yes, yeah.
So unleash your creativity, putsome water to your personal
power and let us know how you'refeeling and how much, how
(18:38):
powerful you're feeling rightnow, or how you feel as if you
need a little injection of power.
Just um, send us a text, orcome and see us on youtube as
well, where we have the videoversion of the podcast and lots
of love and smiles from theEnglish sisters.
We are therapists and we arehere to help, so do let us know
(19:00):
we are.
Bye.
How to harness your own personal power and how to
gain more of it, and is itreally worth the trouble?
Is it worth it?
We'll soon find out.
That's what we'll be chattingabout in this week's episode of
Get Real with the EnglishSisters.
(00:20):
Welcome, welcome.
Thank you so much for listening, and if you do enjoy this
podcast, please feel free toshare it with your family and
friends.
Exactly, we really doappreciate that.
Yeah, it makes a difference,absolutely so.
Personal power, I mean.
Why are we bothering even totalk about this?
I don't know, because everyoneseems to talk about personal
power now, don't they?
(00:41):
It's all.
It could sound likenarcissistic, yes, it could be
just all about me, me, me allthe time.
Well, yes, but if we thinkabout it, personal power gives
us the ability to understand andand to control our own minds
and our own emotions.
(01:02):
As to say so, you know, havingmore personal power certainly
does come with benefits.
Maybe it comes with the factthat you actually don't think
about yourself so much when youdo feel powerful well, now
you're trying to put a mindtwist on this you don't think
about.
Well, what happens is that youbelieve in yourself more so that
(01:26):
even when you're in aparticular situation where you
normally would have moreself-doubt.
Exactly you, you can.
You know you.
You learn to trust yourselfmore.
That comes with personal power.
I think you learn to understandthe ability to trust yourself
and thus you can also trustothers more as well, because you
(01:48):
believe in yourself.
So if you hear something that'sgood advice from another person
, you'll believe you can takethat on for yourself.
Yeah, whereas if you're alwaysdoubting yourself, it can be
difficult to to know whetherthat advice is actually good or
bad, exactly and you're, orwhether you're always in victim
(02:11):
mode, like you're alwaysthinking.
Well, you know, this hasn'tworked for me in the past before
, so why should it work now?
Or I'm always unlucky.
So what happens is that youknow you're going to lose out on
opportunities.
What happens when you gain morepersonal power is that,
basically, you gain moreconfidence in your own ability
(02:36):
to judge situations and to makedecisions, to make decisions and
to catch opportunities when yousee them.
Decisions and to catchopportunities when you see them,
because if you don't have thispersonal power, this strength
within you, when an opportunitycomes along, you might not be
able to see it or you might notbelieve in yourself enough that
(02:57):
you can take advantage of it.
Do you think that this personalpower comes with, like, comes
with experience, or do you thinkyou have to cultivate it?
Or does it?
Does it just?
Is it just a natural thingthat's within us all?
I think it's probably natural.
When we're born, we're allconfident enough in ourselves to
(03:18):
be able to start taking thosefirst steps.
But then what can happen, as weall know, is when we grow up.
You know, we all know that life, yes, life, um, life, life
throws, you know, things at us,family, you know we, we don't
all have the ideal environmentin which to grow up and that
(03:42):
nurtures our self-esteem andcultivates you know our inner
power.
So you know, stuff happens.
I remember thinking that peoplethat have a lot of personal
power, they kind of just, theyalways know what's right, kind
of naturally, like they alwaysseem to know what's right for
them.
Even if it's like quite a riskysituation, they go for it
(04:05):
because they've got confidence,they're like motivated.
And what happens?
Even if fearful, yes, and evenif they do make a mistake,
they'll learn from that mistakeand say, hey, they don't care.
No, they don't go judgingthemselves hours and hours and
days and years.
Even I did that wrong and thusno Next step, let's go ahead.
(04:25):
They've got that kind ofconfidence.
What can we do to get that kindof confidence?
They just put it behind them,don't they?
Yes, yeah, I was watching thatfilm about Blackberry the other
day.
Yeah, yeah, I saw that too, andI was thinking about the guy
that actually he was the CEO.
Did you see how shy he was?
Ah, the actual yeah, he wasreally afraid of speaking out.
(04:52):
He didn't have the rightvocabulary, he didn't have that
personal power.
The founder yeah, I can'tremember his name now.
Then they got the other guy inthat was the CEO to come and he
was all arrogant.
The arrogant one, yeah, and hewas all arrogant and I'll make a
phone call and I'm going to getthis done, kind of thing.
We did get things done, didn'twe as well?
(05:12):
Yeah, they certainly needed apush.
Yeah, he didn't actually have,he didn't have all the
creativity.
No, no, he didn't have, likethe yes, the personal power
within him to really go for itat the beginning.
No, he was very shy and maybehe would have come to nothing.
In the end, a Blackberry mightnot have ever been developed.
(05:35):
I don't know how true that storyis, but I think it's based a
little bit on truth.
Well, it says it's a film basedon reality.
I mean, I just watched a filmlast night so I should remember
it really clearly.
But I don't know, yeah, but Ido remember it more or less.
And yeah, definitely I didremember thinking, gosh, that
new CEO that comes in, he's veryarrogant and rude and very like
(05:58):
cliche of the time.
Yeah, you know rude and that,but I mean certainly he did
believe in himself because hewent to the bank, he got the
credit, he put his house on that, he mortgaged his house, he did
everything that he believed inthat project, even though he'd
just been sacked from hisprevious job.
So that's an example ofsomebody with a lot of
(06:22):
self-belief.
Well, he believed in what hewas doing and he thought he
probably didn't have much choiceeither, because he thought, if
I don't do this, but he was likea go-getter, so he thought I
don't just want to be cleaningdishes or whatever, I want to be
somebody he had probably theidea that taking action is
better than not taking anyaction at all and just sitting
(06:43):
in the cupboard and crying andsaying I've been, you know,
sacked now and I've lost my joband he quickly took another step
.
Of course, we don't all have tobe like that.
No, of course not.
He was very rude.
Yeah, he was really horriblebecause they had this really
calm, worth work culture.
You know, it was more playculture than work.
(07:05):
They weren't doing much work,except for the odd thing, yeah,
but they were getting somethings done.
Yes, yes, yes, some things done.
Anyway, personal power comesfrom within, does it?
It does, but I think you haveto work on it, like everything,
well, yeah, and I think you haveto work on it like everything,
well, yeah, and I think you haveto surround your with yourself
(07:26):
with people that inspire you andmotivate you and support you.
They say you are, that you arelike your five, five people,
that that you frequent.
Become like the five people youfrequent.
Yes, that is so true, gosh,that is so true.
So you have to make sure you'refrequenting the right kind of
people that are going to giveyou that power, not people that
(07:47):
are going to be pushing you downand putting you down.
Well, I think, when you do havemore personal power, you've also
got the, you know, the abilityto be more optimistic about life
in general.
You know, which is not sure ofyourself, yeah, which is not
something to take a, you knowjust to just to ignore.
I think when you don't havepersonal power, you, you doubt
(08:09):
yourself a lot.
So a lot of the time you'respending on thinking about
yourself and doubting yourself,doubting your decisions, exactly
, doubting who you, you might be, doubting your relationship.
You're always in doubt, alwaysin fear, instead of living in
abundance and in the opposite.
Yes, you've got more resilienceto be able to face those
(08:31):
challenges already, because thepower within you gives you that
resilience to go on and on, likewhat we were saying in that
film.
I mean, you might not have seenit, but it's interesting.
He gets sacked, loses his job,and then he has the resilience
to be able to go on and quicklyjump on to the next opportunity.
He sees an opportunity and hegrabs it.
(08:53):
And then blackberry does dovery, very well.
He grabs it by the horns,exactly.
He sees an advantage, you know.
He sees that's an opportunityand he'll take advantage of it.
Yeah, and he sells himself sowell, yeah.
And actually a study on powerled by the social psychologist
Adam Galinsky also suggests thatpersonal power frees a person
(09:16):
to listen to others withoutabandoning a personal vision.
Without abandoning a personalvision, power also increases
creativity and makes it easierto ignore bad advice, even if it
comes from a very importantperson.
Yeah, because we do tend to.
If you're not that sure ofyourself and you're not living
(09:38):
within your own power, like youdon't know what you really want
and who you really are, you're,you're going to be very like,
gullible.
You're going to be, even ifsomeone in a position of power,
that's what you know exactly avery important person in your
life.
You're going to listen to themand sometimes it is bad advice.
It's bad advice.
(09:59):
Don't do that, do this.
And I was watching said thatthey the wife moved in with her,
with her mum, and basically themum was breaking up their
marriage because she was sointerfering and the mum was
giving her all this advice.
That was wrong.
In the end, she realized it.
She said mum, I'm sorry, butyou have to move out because
(10:20):
this is hurting my marriage.
So now, yes, we can see allthese wonderful things about,
but how does one gain morepersonal power?
What do you actually have to doto get it?
If you feel that you're lacking,yeah, I think you have to sit
within yourself and it goes downto mindfulness again, down to
(10:41):
being with you and like, maybe,writing down your goals, writing
down what you want exactly.
Looking into yourself for aminute and thinking, okay, you
know why.
And ask yourself, maybe, why?
Why have I always doubted allmy decisions?
Why am I always doubting myself?
Why am I always, you know, isit anxiety that's getting to me?
(11:03):
What is it?
Is it maybe some the way you'vebeen brought up?
Someone or someone in your lifethat's always been putting you
down?
That's right.
Get to the root of why youalways need approval as well.
Get down to the root.
Why is it that you need otherpeople's approval for things?
Think about that for a while.
You know you have to sit withyourself and ask yourself these
(11:27):
questions.
You know, like what you weresaying, that they're fundamental
, they are, they are, they'revery, very important.
You know I was listening to apodcast this morning with the
diary of the CEO and he wassaying that the best seven hours
he'd ever spent was on a lakein a tiny little boat really
there because and he was just byhimself in the rain and in the
(11:49):
cold and fishing and he said Ididn't catch anything.
So I was just by myself withthe, with the elements, and just
my mind was just allowed towander and just just become
clear.
Just become clear and just tothink clearly.
Because, well, imagine if yougo on that fishing trip with,
with the aim to gain morepersonal power, with these
(12:11):
questions in mind and you canask yourself you know, what are
all the achievements I'vealready achieved?
Think about everything you havealready done, and no matter
what you've done, it's always alot more than what you think
you've done it is.
And also, yeah, but make surethat you, you know, you give
(12:31):
yourself credit for those innategifts that you just ignore.
Like maybe you're really cleverat doing something and you
ignore it, but you just say, no,I'm really good at that.
There's another lady, the onethat invented her skims.
She was on another podcast.
It's like an underwear thing.
Okay, she's, she's got acompany anyway.
(12:52):
She said she's created amulti-million dollar company
really, and she came from a verypoor background.
She said she's created amulti-million dollar company
Really, and she came from a verypoor background.
She said she was the oldersister.
She grew her siblings up,practically didn't go to school,
she raised them all.
But she said the thing that shehad was being able to recognise
when she lacked talent and toget someone in to do the work
(13:13):
for her.
Well, that was a good skill andher amazing skill was that she
could organise stuff.
So she was very good atorganising.
She could manage and organisethings and know when to get
things done.
So she used that to heradvantage and she's done so so
well.
But she was saying never doubtyourself.
If you have an idea, go for it.
Yeah, and don't ignore theseinnate little gifts that you've
(13:36):
got and we all have them.
Don't just dismiss them.
No, they're part of yourachievements.
That's part of something that'sreally valuable to you as a
person.
Yeah, you might be really goodat like I don't know organizing
things, like she was, and youthink that's not an actual skill
, but it is a skill.
Maybe you can read really fast,or you can.
(13:57):
You're really good at tidyingup, or I don't know.
There's something you're goingto be good at and it's usually
the things that you take forgranted.
Yes, you just don't even knowyou're good at them because they
just come so easily to you.
Those are part of your innategifts and you have to give
yourself so much credit for themand let them nurture your sense
(14:20):
of being and your sense ofpersonal power.
You know, and you've also gotto watch out for any toxic
relationships.
Sorry to say this, but they canbe detrimental to you gaining
more personal power.
You know, you've got to watchout for them.
They stop you from moving on,don't they?
They do.
There's always.
That's always.
(14:40):
That.
That's why they always say ifyou have a great idea or even a
tiny idea, just keep it toyourself as a little seedling
yes, and then water it byyourself or with someone that's
close to you that shares yoursame, same vision, because a lot
of people might want to,without even realizing it,
subconsciously they'll.
They won't want you to changebecause they're afraid of change
(15:01):
, so they're afraid of losingyou.
They want to keep you in thelittle group and keep you as the
person they know.
They don't want you to changeand go off somewhere.
You're that person and you'reimportant to their life in that
quality and they don't want youto change.
They want you to be availablefor, yes, to be there and to be
(15:21):
that person for them, the personthey go and have coffee with on
a wednesday morning, or theperson they call when they need
that, and if you're going offdoing something different, that
might, you know, for a moment,change their idea of you or
their.
But then, in the long run,you'll probably be an
inspiration to them as well,especially if they're close
(15:43):
friends and they're true, truefriends and they're not.
You know, those kinds of youknow friends.
They're gonna, they're gonna be, they're gonna be, they're
gonna appreciate the fact thatyou're committing to your values
and that you're committing toyour values.
And you can only commit to yourvalues and your beliefs if you
believe in yourself, becauseotherwise you'll just be swaying
(16:05):
with the wind.
One person says this, somebodyelse says that you just lose
yourself.
You do, you do, and I think ifyou have personal power as well,
you're more likely to be ableto listen to different opinions
and take on feedback withoutletting it offend you or letting
(16:27):
it like bother you too much.
No, because you have theconfidence within yourself to
think, okay, yes, that that thatwas a criticism, but I can.
Yeah, that is so true.
I know I can.
I can take that on board.
I acknowledge that.
Yes, instead of just snappingback and or just saying no or
just blocking that person.
(16:48):
You can really listen, andlisten with, with, with, with,
with the learning state of mind,with an open mind.
With an open mind, notlistening just to speak.
And you can also sometimes seethrough what that other person's
saying.
Maybe they're irritated,they're not in the right kind of
(17:10):
mindset when they're saying it,or maybe there is something
that I must analyze, somethingthat's happened to me or
something that I do personally,and you know we all do things
that we could, that we can, wecan improve on we can.
So let us know what you think.
Are you going to take on yourpersonal power or have you
already done so?
(17:30):
We're going to be working on it, taking more on?
Yes, because I think it's, onceagain, a lifelong thing, isn't
it?
Oh, yes, it's constant, itdoesn't just end one day.
No, it's like a skill thatrequires you know.
It's like a muscle.
You have to exercise it,utilize it, work on it, work on
it and you know yourself.
(17:52):
Like what you said, it'ssomething.
And also, I think you need to toto have and respect your own
personal power.
You need to be able to setboundaries so that other people
don't infringe on your ownpersonal power.
I agree with that?
Yeah, because you need space.
You need space in which to, tothink to, to have your own, and
(18:14):
if you don't have boundaries andyou're always doing things for
other people other people arealways in your space that can be
damaging.
That can have.
Yes, yeah.
So unleash your creativity, putsome water to your personal
power and let us know how you'refeeling and how much, how
(18:38):
powerful you're feeling rightnow, or how you feel as if you
need a little injection of power.
Just um, send us a text, orcome and see us on youtube as
well, where we have the videoversion of the podcast and lots
of love and smiles from theEnglish sisters.
We are therapists and we arehere to help, so do let us know
(19:00):
we are.
Bye.
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