August 27, 2025 • 26 mins
Worrying takes up an immense amount of our daily mental space and often robs us of enjoying the present moment. We explore how most of our worries never materialize, yet they steal our time and energy.
• Treating worrying thoughts like an unwanted song on a playlist that you can skip
• Taking action on worries when possible rather than ruminating endlessly
• Using techniques like worry dolls, journaling, or prayer to symbolically set aside concerns
• Creating physical and mental sanctuaries where worries aren't allowed to intrude
• Learning to compartmentalize serious concerns without letting them consume all joy
• Finding freedom by questioning "Who would you be without that thought?"
• Recognizing when empathy becomes unhelpful by taking on everyone else's worries
• Understanding that worrying about the future steals from experiencing the present
Free yourselves from worry and take only the necessary actions you need. Be joyful and see you in our next episode!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Worrying.
I think worrying takes up somuch of our time every day and
we don't really realise how muchit's actually robbing us of our
lives.
Yeah, and it takes up so muchmental space as well.
It's like our mind can be sofull of worry that we don't have
(00:22):
time for other things and weliterally can't can't allow for
anything.
Most of us can think of onething that we worry about every
day.
Yes, the same thing, say.
If you add that up over in thenext five years or ten years,
you know how many it might.
It might have taken a wholeyear away from your life, I know
(00:44):
.
Just worrying about it, yeah,something that you really I mean
worrying in per se is okay ifyou think, oh okay, I've had
like a warning.
It's like a little timer thatgoes off, but then how long do
we have to worry about it?
How long?
(01:04):
So that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode on get real with theenglish sisters.
Join us and thank you so muchfor always subscribing and
following the show.
Yeah, and do come and say hi oninstagram too, where you can
have all the latest updates, andcome watch us on youtube, where
you can see the video to whereyou can have all the latest
(01:25):
updates.
And come watch us on youtubewhere you can see the video.
Yes, we've got our shinyblouses on, haven't we do?
Yes, indeed, we do have ourshinies for the new year.
Yes, new year still keeping joy, I'm not going to worry as much
.
No, that's a good, good newyear's resolution.
Definitely because I found in mypersonal life yeah, me too the
(01:46):
more I worry, I mean, mostthings I worry about they don't
even they don't come true, mostof the stuff, yeah.
Then afterwards, when you youactually why did I worry so much
?
When the time comes, you think,oh gosh, that wasn't even worth
it.
Yeah, most of the time itwasn't worth the worry.
I mean, is it ever worthworrying about something?
(02:07):
Not really, I don't thinkcomplete worrying.
I think when the thought comesin your mind that you're worried
about something, then you say,what can I do about it?
Yeah, yeah, that's when youhave to take action.
And if there is something youcan do about it, well, then you
do it.
And if there is something youcan do about it, well, then you
do it.
You do it, yeah, but then theworst thing is when you don't do
(02:28):
it and you just continueworrying about yeah, and
sometimes there's nothing youcan do about it, because it's a
health issue, or it's somethingthat you cannot address that in
that day, or it's a fight you'vehad with someone and you can't
solve it, so there's no pointworrying about it.
You think I'll do it, and youjust go and do it and you say
sorry, or you.
It's easier said than done,though, isn't it?
(02:50):
We do know it's so easy, butit's all about being in the
present moment.
Again, it is.
We have to take charge of ourown minds.
We have to be able to directour minds into a more helpful
state of mind for ourselves.
(03:12):
That's what it is.
I'm thinking about one of the um, the short stories we wrote in
stress free in three minutes inour book, and it's your favorite
playlist.
Would you put worry into yourfavorite play?
Would you put a song into yourfavorite playlist that you hated
or that made you worry, thatmade you feel ill every time,
(03:33):
physically, mentally?
If you think of your thoughtslike a playlist, why on earth
would you torture yourself withsomething you did not enjoy
listening to?
I think the answer is peoplesay I don't want to torture
myself, but that thought justkeeps on coming up and there is
nothing I can do about it.
That's what people would say.
(03:54):
That's where you're wrong,because there is something, yeah
, about it.
You can make it stop, just likeyou would stop at a red light
and you wouldn't go through it.
Yes, that's right, you can makeit stop.
Stop that, if you.
If, when I'm listening to aplaylist, if I'm listening to
some music, and then suddenlysomething else comes on, I don't
(04:14):
like, I stop it, yes, and I puta, I change it to the music
that I like, which at the momentis taylor, swift, right, okay,
anybody, it could be anybody.
I go back to who I want tolisten to, so you can do the
same with your own mind.
You can't just let your mind gonuts on you.
So you've got economical issuesand then maybe some health
issues and then maybe familyissues, and it can all add up
(04:56):
and all this worrying.
Ultimately, in the end, it'sit's not healthy, is it?
I remember the other day, someinsect bit your husband, yeah,
and he started staring at it andreally worrying.
Yeah, he was worried, he was soworried.
So then I got bitten.
I got bitten a few days after,recently, and I was looking at
(05:23):
it and it was getting me worried, just like what happened to
georgia.
Yeah, and I was thinking here Iam worrying about this.
No, stop it.
Put the cream on it, take anantihistamine and you're going
to be fine.
Yeah, it's nothing.
It's nothing.
You were worried because yougot stung by the bees, yeah, and
I had no allergic reactions, Iknow, but I just think it's our
(05:45):
minds.
Just go to these places, yes,and if you do not know how to
control them and put them incheck of your own mind, you will
be in trouble.
You will be in trouble and alot of the times, these things
happen just when you want torest the most.
Your brain will start when youwant to go to sleep and you want
(06:07):
to have a good night's sleep.
So how can you like?
If you, you know, what wouldyou say?
How can you?
The other day, I was watchingthe the empress and they came up
with the netflix yeah, thenetflix one and they came up
with these worry dolls andapparently they originated in um
, guatemala and little children.
(06:28):
They're given to littlechildren and they're as cute as
anything.
Little dolls, they're nothingto do with anything.
You know bad, and you have thislittle doll and you tell your
worry to the doll and then youput it under your pillow oh,
that's so sweet, and then that'sit.
So you're free of your worry,you're free of it.
(06:50):
So what you can do with yourmind, as we've learned as
hypnotherapists, is you can sayto your worry I've heard you,
I'm listening to you, it's okay,you're going to be okay, we're
going to deal with it.
We'll deal with it if we can,like tomorrow, if it's a health
issue, if it's possible, I'llmake an appointment or I'll do
(07:13):
something.
I have to do if I have to do it.
If I don't and it's justwaiting, because a lot of the
time with health issues you knowit is just or you put them off.
So then if you find yourselfputting stuff off, you can, you
can ask for help.
So you can ask a friend or afamily member.
You can say look, I'm, I'm, I'mprocrastinating, I'm worried
about this thing, but I'm notfinding it really difficult and
(07:35):
I'm procrastinating with it.
Can you have procrastinating?
Can you help me, like, can you?
You know, check on me, check upon me and either help me make
the phone call or make theappointment or, you know, ask me
if I've done it so that I'll doit.
And because sometimes we justwe're like these people.
We're not computers, no, we'renot, we're not.
(07:56):
Well, we are in a way, yes,because you can program your
mind.
Yes, only if you know how to,only if you know how.
Tools, absolutely yes, it's alla question of knowing.
So, I mean, we're adults, so wedon't have these little dolls,
or maybe we still do if you, ifyou belong to that culture and
(08:17):
you can buy them online.
Really, yes, the little, tiny,little, uh, traditional little
dolls, you can make them if youlike making stuff and you place
all your worries into thatlittle doll.
And, yeah, you have have onefor each worry, but I would just
have one for all of them.
Yeah, seems easier, but theactual symbolism of it is that
(08:38):
you are putting them away,aren't you?
Yeah, or sometimes, if you likecrystals, or you've got a
little favourite thing that youlike, a little soft toy or
anything, I would just say, youknow, use the imagery of it.
Or a power of prayer, you know,if you're religious, wonderful,
you know, you, you send offthat prayer and you can, you can
(08:59):
sort of like, help yourself,relieve yourself of some of your
worries.
So let them be, so that you canlet them be for the evening,
for the night, put them to oneside.
Yeah, I think that's wherejournaling helps, because you
can write it in your journal andthen you say, okay tomorrow,
and you close the diary.
Yes, after sleep.
(09:20):
We used to do that when we werelittle, didn't we?
We would write a diary.
Yeah, our mothers used to.
Our mom, I would never.
I would always edit it, thoughbecause she was scared somebody
would read it.
Yeah, never true, it was true.
Who would ever read it?
Nobody.
Because you were scaredsomebody would read it.
Yeah, never true.
So if it was true, who wouldever read it?
Nobody.
But you just was just me andyou.
I would certainly not gosnooping into your diary.
I was not interested and no onewould have read it.
(09:41):
But I don't know.
It's just these things.
I wouldn't actually really saywhat I really felt I do.
If I look through my diaries,though, I would worry a lot.
You, I would write down myworries.
I'm so worried about my mathtest, I'm so worried about this.
No, I would.
I would write things like that.
I'm worried, I would say thingslike that, but I mean really, I
suppose, really personal thingsI wouldn't write just in case
(10:04):
someone read them.
Yes, obviously, yeah, if it wassomething really personal, if
it was something really personal, what can be that person when
you're a tiny, you know, whenyou're like nine?
Well, I wrote them till I wasolder.
Yes, yes, so did I actually,but so did I Not just when I was
nine.
No, no, you're right.
No, it's true, if I need toread notes, you have to go and
have a look at them and see what.
(10:24):
But I used to mostly write howgreat it was, a bit like a
gratitude journal really.
Most of the time I would sayhow grateful I was, how much I
love my family, my husband, whenyou were older, when I was
older, yeah, like as a teenager,teenager, I can't remember I'd
have to go and have a look, butI do remember worrying about
people reading.
(10:44):
Yes, so that's another worrythat you don't want to add on to
the worry list.
Yeah, and if I just told alittle doll, it would have
probably been better, really.
Well, yeah, because the doll'snot going to say anything, is
she?
We did actually used to sleepwith our dolls, didn't we, all
of them.
Yeah, none of them would beleft out.
(11:05):
No, the bed would be covered inthem and they were hard Like.
They were like hard plasticdolls, lovely, soft ones.
No, no, even the actual, liketeddy bears.
You know, I remember they werequite tough.
They were in our days.
They weren't like these lovelyand soft and plush like they are
.
No, they were quite hard.
(11:26):
They had like hard little armsand wire inside and they used to
stick all over you but you'dstuff them all in under the bed
covers.
I remember, you know, everysingle toy I ever possessed
would get cold.
Yes, if we didn't.
Yeah, it was probably a way forhaving comfort as well from
them, from the dolls, sometimespretty uncomfortable, it
(11:49):
uncomfortable.
I do remember those littlehands.
I remember my doll that wasquite big and hard.
It was a doll I'm talking about.
It was, yeah, this gets worse.
We were little.
When we were like five, we usedto play with it.
(12:09):
This is getting worse.
We, we were six, we had dolliesthat they had in those days, so
that not so much now.
There was barbies as well, butbarbies are pretty well.
Yeah, tough, they were tough,little, to use the same word.
No, they were tough and it was.
It was difficult.
It was difficult sleeping withthem Because I remember it would
(12:31):
take ages to warm up.
It was cold for ages because therooms were cold as well.
We didn't have central heatingwhen we were really tiny, no,
but later on we did, but theywere still cold.
But I remember when we used tosleep with them we didn't have
central heating.
The central heating came whenwe were quite older, really Like
10 or something.
Goodness me, I can't rememberthe days before central heating.
(12:53):
Oh I can.
It was bloody freezing, was it?
I just can't remember that.
Was it that room with thewallpaper?
We had that green flag thefirst time we had central
heating in there?
How on earth would the roomswarm up?
It was just freezing cold.
Did we have an electric littleheater or something?
Nothing Gosh, it must have been.
(13:14):
Goodness me.
No wonder people used to haveto wear hats in bed, like the
woolly hats and things.
We didn't have hats, but Idon't know what we had.
I don't think we had.
I think we might have had alittle radiator in the room.
Yeah, I think so.
We had electric radiators andthings like that.
(13:36):
There must have been somethingin there to warm up that house.
Because the house was big, itmust have got really cold.
I do remember the the big, youknow, big deal about this
central heating was a big deal,that mum and dad made a big deal
about it.
And there was this boiler roomright upstairs.
Yeah, then the man came and putall the radiators.
Oh, yeah, I remember that, butkind of, yeah, a bit younger.
(14:00):
Obviously I was a year youngerand I just probably didn't
didn't remember it.
Yeah, I do remember the housefeeling nice and cozy afterwards
, oh gosh, what a difference.
We were just used to coolertemperatures.
Yeah, I mean, the babies usedto see like, like my husband,
his, his sister, who was who'slike 15 years older than he is,
(14:24):
or 20 years older, she's much,much older.
When she had her children.
She remembers that they used tosleep in woolly hats and coats,
the babies, the babies would beall wrapped up like if they
were in the street.
Well, what about?
You would put the prams outsideto let them sleep in the garden
.
Yeah, you would actually putbabies to let them sleep in the
in the garden.
Yeah, you would actually putbabies and let them sleep,
(14:45):
especially if it was a nice cool, you know, not cool.
It was like a nice winter's day, even in the winter, though you
would put the baby outside.
Yeah, I remember mum.
She would sometimes leave, youknow, we would.
She was a child minder and shewould look after a lot like five
babies at a time, and then onewould always be parked like
outside the front door and, andyou know, you're just sleeping.
(15:07):
Sounds terrible, soundsterrible, but it was like the
fresh air.
She was saying what they do insweden or something, or in
denmark, in these nordiccountries, they will leave them
outside in the freezing cold.
Yeah, because they're allwrapped up in there.
Yeah, they're all super wrappedup and everything, but yeah, so
obviously it was differenttimes.
Anyway, we are going off topichere, but anyway, what's the
(15:30):
point of worrying about worry?
Yeah, exactly, you know, worry,think about better things.
Yeah, if you think you have,you know, your mind, your mind,
your mind needs space.
It needs to be freed up.
It's like all cluttered withworry.
It's like your iPhone space oryour whatever it is space, your
computer space.
It needs to be freed up so thatyou can have space for things
(15:54):
that you really want to thinkabout and enjoy and listen to.
I think, and I think a lot ofthe worry is like past worries.
It's it's it's things thataren't, that they don't even
concern you in in the future.
They're like regrets that turninto worry because it's, ah, you
regret, and then you worryabout the regret of not doing it
(16:18):
.
There is, you know, you aretaking up valuable space in your
mind which you could beenjoying yourself or helping
other people.
I was gonna say, yeah, a lot ofthe times, by helping others,
you feel less worried about yourown anxieties.
Yeah, and it's extraordinaryhow that works, and that's why
(16:39):
volunteering is really good ideaas well to help relieve, yeah,
or doing something you feel asif you're helping people with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously,yeah, even if it's not
volunteering.
If it's helping your neighboror you think you're being useful
to, to, yeah, whoever yeah,your family, your friends,
whatever it is, it makes youfeel less anxious as well.
(17:03):
So, whatever it is.
So, even as you know, we maynot have the little worry dolls,
but we can sort of like,pretend and get rid of that
worry.
Yeah, I mean you can even justhold a little handkerchief in
your hand or something and say,okay, I'm gonna put this under
my pillow tissue, put your worryin there under the pillow.
(17:23):
Under the pillow or, you know,in another room, I would say,
keep it at bay, flush it downthe toilet.
That's why you have to haveyour like.
I think the your room you sleepin has to be a bit of a
sanctuary.
Yeah, so't it?
Yeah, I agree.
So you have to leave yourworries outside of it.
(17:44):
I mean, I love my bed.
I absolutely love it.
You know, it's like mysanctuary, it's just I love.
That's why everything around it, you know I have to make it,
that's why I'm obsessed with thebed, linen and everything.
It's always my happy place.
The minute I enter it I feel,oh yeah, I love it.
(18:07):
Yeah, yeah, I really do.
And I you don't, you don't, youdon't love it as much.
I'm not as I like it.
I like going to sleep in it anddoing things in it.
But the, the actual bed, the.
I don't spend a lot of time inmy bed like you do.
No, I go to bed at 12 o'clock orwhen one o'clock in the morning
(18:29):
, or if I've set an earlierbedtime, which now I tend to go
to bed a bit earlier, like at 11.
Yeah, because it's because, ifyou go to bed too late, then you
want to get get up.
Oh, I know I work online andI've got I don't with people I
don't want to get.
It makes me get up earlier if Igo to bed earlier.
Well, of course it does.
Yeah, that makes sense.
(18:50):
So you mean you don't want toget up too early.
I do want to get up earlier nowin the winter.
Oh right, okay, you want tohave a longer day day?
I want it to be sunny outside,but lucky, it's mostly sunny.
Yeah, me too, even, like on asunday.
I want to, like, enjoy mysunday.
Yeah, I think, oh no, it's allright.
I used to want to sleep in moreand I didn't care about the
(19:12):
light so much, but now, yeah,I'm older, I like to see the
light more.
You did care about the light.
You're always moaning about howearly it was and how dark it
was In the evenings, but Ididn't care if I slept until 12
or something.
What really?
Yeah, I used to sleep in loads.
I remember always caring aboutthat.
Maybe you were different.
(19:32):
I always used to sleep in until11 or 12.
I didn't care.
Yeah, I always used to think ohno, it's my day off, I'd sleep
in too much and I'd be annoyed.
Yeah, if I sleep in too muchand if I got a headache I don't
get headaches that much oh, no,yeah, because you don't sleep in
that much?
Probably no, but sometimes I do.
(19:52):
I do recuperate, like if I'vebeen out on a night out, if
we've been out, I do sleep in.
Yes, obviously we've been out,I do sleep in, I do.
Obviously you get up 10, 11, Isuppose if you go to bed at two
or three in the morning, that'snormal, yeah, something else?
Yep, absolutely it is.
So is that what you do tocontrol your worry at night?
(20:15):
What do you do?
I try not to worry, and at allabout things.
Now, yeah, I've become veryphilosophical about things and I
just think If there's somethingI can do about it, I'll do it
and I don't go to the worstsituation, like the worst
scenario.
(20:36):
I think I'm like worried out.
I've done so much worry in thepast goodness me, yeah, but I
now, especially with health, andthat I just take it very for
just one day at a time, kind ofthing.
I'm not gonna.
I mean, I've had new reasons toworry now with my son's you
know health, but even with them,like before, I would have been
(20:58):
worried, sick about your sons.
And now I, I don't worry likethat.
I just no, thank goodness.
You did used to worry.
I used to be so empatheticabout people and I'd worry more
than the necessary about otherpeople as well and about their
health.
Gosh, yes, and now I, I don'tdo that anymore.
No, thank goodness, yes,goodness, and I'm much freer and
(21:20):
happier from it.
Yes, absolutely, and in the end, most of it turns out it's
always okay, and if it isn't,there's nothing you can do about
it.
Anyway, that's life.
So I must say, yeah, that istrue, yeah, even though, like
you know, I've had my son'sdiagnosis.
He's recently been diagnosedwith bladder cancer and that was
(21:43):
pretty scary, really, reallyscary as a mom.
He's so young, he's 27, and Ithought, gosh, how am I gonna
ever overcome this worry now?
And it's just constant, becausethen it's another test and then
he has to do.
You know, it's just, but I'vemanaged to somehow, somehow take
(22:05):
it day by day, you know, andand and sort of live from for my
health experience as well.
Just understand that.
You know, these things are whatthey are transitory as well,
aren't they?
I, I hope they're transitoryand I hope they go away.
And I mean, he's had an, he'shad an operation and everything,
(22:26):
and.
But then you, it is easy to godown that spiral, isn't it?
With things like cancer, youknow, you worry and worry and
worry.
You can go down.
So but I I've managed to put it, like uh, to one side and only
think about it when it'snecessary.
When he comes and he talks tome about it, then I'll think
about it, or when it's the nexttest or something.
(22:49):
But I've managed to somehowseparate things in my mind so I
can still have a lovely hotchocolate and really enjoy that
hot chocolate without itovertaking.
I think it's something I havelearned to do.
It's something, it's a skill.
You learn how to do thisthrough things that happen to
(23:09):
you in life, yeah, and throughthe tools that you have.
Obviously, yes, yes, throughthe tools.
Yeah, absolutely yeah, you haveto go, you have to do it, don't
you?
You, you think how else wouldyou manage to do it?
Well, yeah, you, otherwise youdon't.
You don't manage that.
What you said.
It's not easy to do these things.
(23:30):
No, with loved ones, withyourself, with, with you know,
anybody else?
You, you end up just having awhole day of worry.
And what's the point?
There is absolutely nothingthat you can do.
Most of the time, you canfollow the doctor's orders and
everything, but that's it.
Then you, your, your duty is toto live your life, your life and
(23:53):
thing, with worry as well.
It's if you, if you're worriedabout I say if you're worried
about your son you're not ableto enjoy your son as he is now.
No, it's always thinking of thefuture, worrying about
something that might not evenhappen.
Another test when is the nexttest?
You're not, you're like.
You're like stealing the momentaway.
(24:14):
It is difficult to do, I mustadmit.
It's harder when it is one ofyour kids, you know, that is
affected.
It is, it's tough.
However, it is possible to doand I am living proof of this.
It really is possible.
So you can do it, you can putaside, you can enjoy yourself as
well and, you know, keep thingsseparate.
(24:36):
I think, yeah, and not go downthe spiral.
Yes, yes, and I think everyonehas their own journey as well.
So if we, if, if you're aperson that's very empathetic
and you're taking on everyoneelse's problems and journeys,
it's going to be far too muchfor you to handle, and it's not
(24:57):
a good thing, it's really.
It's just.
You just have to be likethinking I'm just free and like
just now, in the moment, am Iokay, right now, in the moment,
sitting on this chair, talkingto you?
Yes, yes, I'm fine, there'snothing Otherwise.
You're like Always you're in thefuture, aren't you Always in
(25:18):
the future?
But also you're likeimprisoning yourself.
You're like like enslavingyourself in in this thing that's
not even real.
So like you're incarceratingyourself in a thought that's not
even real.
It's an imaginary thought thatyou're not.
You know who would you bewithout that thought?
(25:39):
You would be, you would be free, you would you be.
Without that thought, you wouldbe free.
You would be free without thatthought.
So, absolutely so, freeyourselves, free yourselves from
worry.
Free yourselves from worry andobviously, take the necessary
actions that you need to takeand just be joyful, absolutely.
(25:59):
See you next week, next week,next episode.
Lots of love and smiles fromthe English sisters.
Bye, bye.
Worrying.
I think worrying takes up somuch of our time every day and
we don't really realise how muchit's actually robbing us of our
lives.
Yeah, and it takes up so muchmental space as well.
It's like our mind can be sofull of worry that we don't have
(00:22):
time for other things and weliterally can't can't allow for
anything.
Most of us can think of onething that we worry about every
day.
Yes, the same thing, say.
If you add that up over in thenext five years or ten years,
you know how many it might.
It might have taken a wholeyear away from your life, I know
(00:44):
.
Just worrying about it, yeah,something that you really I mean
worrying in per se is okay ifyou think, oh okay, I've had
like a warning.
It's like a little timer thatgoes off, but then how long do
we have to worry about it?
How long?
(01:04):
So that's what we're going tobe chatting about in this week's
episode on get real with theenglish sisters.
Join us and thank you so muchfor always subscribing and
following the show.
Yeah, and do come and say hi oninstagram too, where you can
have all the latest updates, andcome watch us on youtube, where
you can see the video to whereyou can have all the latest
(01:25):
updates.
And come watch us on youtubewhere you can see the video.
Yes, we've got our shinyblouses on, haven't we do?
Yes, indeed, we do have ourshinies for the new year.
Yes, new year still keeping joy, I'm not going to worry as much
.
No, that's a good, good newyear's resolution.
Definitely because I found in mypersonal life yeah, me too the
(01:46):
more I worry, I mean, mostthings I worry about they don't
even they don't come true, mostof the stuff, yeah.
Then afterwards, when you youactually why did I worry so much
?
When the time comes, you think,oh gosh, that wasn't even worth
it.
Yeah, most of the time itwasn't worth the worry.
I mean, is it ever worthworrying about something?
(02:07):
Not really, I don't thinkcomplete worrying.
I think when the thought comesin your mind that you're worried
about something, then you say,what can I do about it?
Yeah, yeah, that's when youhave to take action.
And if there is something youcan do about it, well, then you
do it.
And if there is something youcan do about it, well, then you
do it.
You do it, yeah, but then theworst thing is when you don't do
(02:28):
it and you just continueworrying about yeah, and
sometimes there's nothing youcan do about it, because it's a
health issue, or it's somethingthat you cannot address that in
that day, or it's a fight you'vehad with someone and you can't
solve it, so there's no pointworrying about it.
You think I'll do it, and youjust go and do it and you say
sorry, or you.
It's easier said than done,though, isn't it?
(02:50):
We do know it's so easy, butit's all about being in the
present moment.
Again, it is.
We have to take charge of ourown minds.
We have to be able to directour minds into a more helpful
state of mind for ourselves.
(03:12):
That's what it is.
I'm thinking about one of the um, the short stories we wrote in
stress free in three minutes inour book, and it's your favorite
playlist.
Would you put worry into yourfavorite play?
Would you put a song into yourfavorite playlist that you hated
or that made you worry, thatmade you feel ill every time,
(03:33):
physically, mentally?
If you think of your thoughtslike a playlist, why on earth
would you torture yourself withsomething you did not enjoy
listening to?
I think the answer is peoplesay I don't want to torture
myself, but that thought justkeeps on coming up and there is
nothing I can do about it.
That's what people would say.
(03:54):
That's where you're wrong,because there is something, yeah
, about it.
You can make it stop, just likeyou would stop at a red light
and you wouldn't go through it.
Yes, that's right, you can makeit stop.
Stop that, if you.
If, when I'm listening to aplaylist, if I'm listening to
some music, and then suddenlysomething else comes on, I don't
(04:14):
like, I stop it, yes, and I puta, I change it to the music
that I like, which at the momentis taylor, swift, right, okay,
anybody, it could be anybody.
I go back to who I want tolisten to, so you can do the
same with your own mind.
You can't just let your mind gonuts on you.
So you've got economical issuesand then maybe some health
issues and then maybe familyissues, and it can all add up
(04:56):
and all this worrying.
Ultimately, in the end, it'sit's not healthy, is it?
I remember the other day, someinsect bit your husband, yeah,
and he started staring at it andreally worrying.
Yeah, he was worried, he was soworried.
So then I got bitten.
I got bitten a few days after,recently, and I was looking at
(05:23):
it and it was getting me worried, just like what happened to
georgia.
Yeah, and I was thinking here Iam worrying about this.
No, stop it.
Put the cream on it, take anantihistamine and you're going
to be fine.
Yeah, it's nothing.
It's nothing.
You were worried because yougot stung by the bees, yeah, and
I had no allergic reactions, Iknow, but I just think it's our
(05:45):
minds.
Just go to these places, yes,and if you do not know how to
control them and put them incheck of your own mind, you will
be in trouble.
You will be in trouble and alot of the times, these things
happen just when you want torest the most.
Your brain will start when youwant to go to sleep and you want
(06:07):
to have a good night's sleep.
So how can you like?
If you, you know, what wouldyou say?
How can you?
The other day, I was watchingthe the empress and they came up
with the netflix yeah, thenetflix one and they came up
with these worry dolls andapparently they originated in um
, guatemala and little children.
(06:28):
They're given to littlechildren and they're as cute as
anything.
Little dolls, they're nothingto do with anything.
You know bad, and you have thislittle doll and you tell your
worry to the doll and then youput it under your pillow oh,
that's so sweet, and then that'sit.
So you're free of your worry,you're free of it.
(06:50):
So what you can do with yourmind, as we've learned as
hypnotherapists, is you can sayto your worry I've heard you,
I'm listening to you, it's okay,you're going to be okay, we're
going to deal with it.
We'll deal with it if we can,like tomorrow, if it's a health
issue, if it's possible, I'llmake an appointment or I'll do
(07:13):
something.
I have to do if I have to do it.
If I don't and it's justwaiting, because a lot of the
time with health issues you knowit is just or you put them off.
So then if you find yourselfputting stuff off, you can, you
can ask for help.
So you can ask a friend or afamily member.
You can say look, I'm, I'm, I'mprocrastinating, I'm worried
about this thing, but I'm notfinding it really difficult and
(07:35):
I'm procrastinating with it.
Can you have procrastinating?
Can you help me, like, can you?
You know, check on me, check upon me and either help me make
the phone call or make theappointment or, you know, ask me
if I've done it so that I'll doit.
And because sometimes we justwe're like these people.
We're not computers, no, we'renot, we're not.
(07:56):
Well, we are in a way, yes,because you can program your
mind.
Yes, only if you know how to,only if you know how.
Tools, absolutely yes, it's alla question of knowing.
So, I mean, we're adults, so wedon't have these little dolls,
or maybe we still do if you, ifyou belong to that culture and
(08:17):
you can buy them online.
Really, yes, the little, tiny,little, uh, traditional little
dolls, you can make them if youlike making stuff and you place
all your worries into thatlittle doll.
And, yeah, you have have onefor each worry, but I would just
have one for all of them.
Yeah, seems easier, but theactual symbolism of it is that
(08:38):
you are putting them away,aren't you?
Yeah, or sometimes, if you likecrystals, or you've got a
little favourite thing that youlike, a little soft toy or
anything, I would just say, youknow, use the imagery of it.
Or a power of prayer, you know,if you're religious, wonderful,
you know, you, you send offthat prayer and you can, you can
(08:59):
sort of like, help yourself,relieve yourself of some of your
worries.
So let them be, so that you canlet them be for the evening,
for the night, put them to oneside.
Yeah, I think that's wherejournaling helps, because you
can write it in your journal andthen you say, okay tomorrow,
and you close the diary.
Yes, after sleep.
(09:20):
We used to do that when we werelittle, didn't we?
We would write a diary.
Yeah, our mothers used to.
Our mom, I would never.
I would always edit it, thoughbecause she was scared somebody
would read it.
Yeah, never true, it was true.
Who would ever read it?
Nobody.
Because you were scaredsomebody would read it.
Yeah, never true.
So if it was true, who wouldever read it?
Nobody.
But you just was just me andyou.
I would certainly not gosnooping into your diary.
I was not interested and no onewould have read it.
(09:41):
But I don't know.
It's just these things.
I wouldn't actually really saywhat I really felt I do.
If I look through my diaries,though, I would worry a lot.
You, I would write down myworries.
I'm so worried about my mathtest, I'm so worried about this.
No, I would.
I would write things like that.
I'm worried, I would say thingslike that, but I mean really, I
suppose, really personal thingsI wouldn't write just in case
(10:04):
someone read them.
Yes, obviously, yeah, if it wassomething really personal, if
it was something really personal, what can be that person when
you're a tiny, you know, whenyou're like nine?
Well, I wrote them till I wasolder.
Yes, yes, so did I actually,but so did I Not just when I was
nine.
No, no, you're right.
No, it's true, if I need toread notes, you have to go and
have a look at them and see what.
(10:24):
But I used to mostly write howgreat it was, a bit like a
gratitude journal really.
Most of the time I would sayhow grateful I was, how much I
love my family, my husband, whenyou were older, when I was
older, yeah, like as a teenager,teenager, I can't remember I'd
have to go and have a look, butI do remember worrying about
people reading.
(10:44):
Yes, so that's another worrythat you don't want to add on to
the worry list.
Yeah, and if I just told alittle doll, it would have
probably been better, really.
Well, yeah, because the doll'snot going to say anything, is
she?
We did actually used to sleepwith our dolls, didn't we, all
of them.
Yeah, none of them would beleft out.
(11:05):
No, the bed would be covered inthem and they were hard Like.
They were like hard plasticdolls, lovely, soft ones.
No, no, even the actual, liketeddy bears.
You know, I remember they werequite tough.
They were in our days.
They weren't like these lovelyand soft and plush like they are
.
No, they were quite hard.
(11:26):
They had like hard little armsand wire inside and they used to
stick all over you but you'dstuff them all in under the bed
covers.
I remember, you know, everysingle toy I ever possessed
would get cold.
Yes, if we didn't.
Yeah, it was probably a way forhaving comfort as well from
them, from the dolls, sometimespretty uncomfortable, it
(11:49):
uncomfortable.
I do remember those littlehands.
I remember my doll that wasquite big and hard.
It was a doll I'm talking about.
It was, yeah, this gets worse.
We were little.
When we were like five, we usedto play with it.
(12:09):
This is getting worse.
We, we were six, we had dolliesthat they had in those days, so
that not so much now.
There was barbies as well, butbarbies are pretty well.
Yeah, tough, they were tough,little, to use the same word.
No, they were tough and it was.
It was difficult.
It was difficult sleeping withthem Because I remember it would
(12:31):
take ages to warm up.
It was cold for ages because therooms were cold as well.
We didn't have central heatingwhen we were really tiny, no,
but later on we did, but theywere still cold.
But I remember when we used tosleep with them we didn't have
central heating.
The central heating came whenwe were quite older, really Like
10 or something.
Goodness me, I can't rememberthe days before central heating.
(12:53):
Oh I can.
It was bloody freezing, was it?
I just can't remember that.
Was it that room with thewallpaper?
We had that green flag thefirst time we had central
heating in there?
How on earth would the roomswarm up?
It was just freezing cold.
Did we have an electric littleheater or something?
Nothing Gosh, it must have been.
(13:14):
Goodness me.
No wonder people used to haveto wear hats in bed, like the
woolly hats and things.
We didn't have hats, but Idon't know what we had.
I don't think we had.
I think we might have had alittle radiator in the room.
Yeah, I think so.
We had electric radiators andthings like that.
(13:36):
There must have been somethingin there to warm up that house.
Because the house was big, itmust have got really cold.
I do remember the the big, youknow, big deal about this
central heating was a big deal,that mum and dad made a big deal
about it.
And there was this boiler roomright upstairs.
Yeah, then the man came and putall the radiators.
Oh, yeah, I remember that, butkind of, yeah, a bit younger.
(14:00):
Obviously I was a year youngerand I just probably didn't
didn't remember it.
Yeah, I do remember the housefeeling nice and cozy afterwards
, oh gosh, what a difference.
We were just used to coolertemperatures.
Yeah, I mean, the babies usedto see like, like my husband,
his, his sister, who was who'slike 15 years older than he is,
(14:24):
or 20 years older, she's much,much older.
When she had her children.
She remembers that they used tosleep in woolly hats and coats,
the babies, the babies would beall wrapped up like if they
were in the street.
Well, what about?
You would put the prams outsideto let them sleep in the garden
.
Yeah, you would actually putbabies to let them sleep in the
in the garden.
Yeah, you would actually putbabies and let them sleep,
(14:45):
especially if it was a nice cool, you know, not cool.
It was like a nice winter's day, even in the winter, though you
would put the baby outside.
Yeah, I remember mum.
She would sometimes leave, youknow, we would.
She was a child minder and shewould look after a lot like five
babies at a time, and then onewould always be parked like
outside the front door and, andyou know, you're just sleeping.
(15:07):
Sounds terrible, soundsterrible, but it was like the
fresh air.
She was saying what they do insweden or something, or in
denmark, in these nordiccountries, they will leave them
outside in the freezing cold.
Yeah, because they're allwrapped up in there.
Yeah, they're all super wrappedup and everything, but yeah, so
obviously it was differenttimes.
Anyway, we are going off topichere, but anyway, what's the
(15:30):
point of worrying about worry?
Yeah, exactly, you know, worry,think about better things.
Yeah, if you think you have,you know, your mind, your mind,
your mind needs space.
It needs to be freed up.
It's like all cluttered withworry.
It's like your iPhone space oryour whatever it is space, your
computer space.
It needs to be freed up so thatyou can have space for things
(15:54):
that you really want to thinkabout and enjoy and listen to.
I think, and I think a lot ofthe worry is like past worries.
It's it's it's things thataren't, that they don't even
concern you in in the future.
They're like regrets that turninto worry because it's, ah, you
regret, and then you worryabout the regret of not doing it
(16:18):
.
There is, you know, you aretaking up valuable space in your
mind which you could beenjoying yourself or helping
other people.
I was gonna say, yeah, a lot ofthe times, by helping others,
you feel less worried about yourown anxieties.
Yeah, and it's extraordinaryhow that works, and that's why
(16:39):
volunteering is really good ideaas well to help relieve, yeah,
or doing something you feel asif you're helping people with.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously,yeah, even if it's not
volunteering.
If it's helping your neighboror you think you're being useful
to, to, yeah, whoever yeah,your family, your friends,
whatever it is, it makes youfeel less anxious as well.
(17:03):
So, whatever it is.
So, even as you know, we maynot have the little worry dolls,
but we can sort of like,pretend and get rid of that
worry.
Yeah, I mean you can even justhold a little handkerchief in
your hand or something and say,okay, I'm gonna put this under
my pillow tissue, put your worryin there under the pillow.
(17:23):
Under the pillow or, you know,in another room, I would say,
keep it at bay, flush it downthe toilet.
That's why you have to haveyour like.
I think the your room you sleepin has to be a bit of a
sanctuary.
Yeah, so't it?
Yeah, I agree.
So you have to leave yourworries outside of it.
(17:44):
I mean, I love my bed.
I absolutely love it.
You know, it's like mysanctuary, it's just I love.
That's why everything around it, you know I have to make it,
that's why I'm obsessed with thebed, linen and everything.
It's always my happy place.
The minute I enter it I feel,oh yeah, I love it.
(18:07):
Yeah, yeah, I really do.
And I you don't, you don't, youdon't love it as much.
I'm not as I like it.
I like going to sleep in it anddoing things in it.
But the, the actual bed, the.
I don't spend a lot of time inmy bed like you do.
No, I go to bed at 12 o'clock orwhen one o'clock in the morning
(18:29):
, or if I've set an earlierbedtime, which now I tend to go
to bed a bit earlier, like at 11.
Yeah, because it's because, ifyou go to bed too late, then you
want to get get up.
Oh, I know I work online andI've got I don't with people I
don't want to get.
It makes me get up earlier if Igo to bed earlier.
Well, of course it does.
Yeah, that makes sense.
(18:50):
So you mean you don't want toget up too early.
I do want to get up earlier nowin the winter.
Oh right, okay, you want tohave a longer day day?
I want it to be sunny outside,but lucky, it's mostly sunny.
Yeah, me too, even, like on asunday.
I want to, like, enjoy mysunday.
Yeah, I think, oh no, it's allright.
I used to want to sleep in moreand I didn't care about the
(19:12):
light so much, but now, yeah,I'm older, I like to see the
light more.
You did care about the light.
You're always moaning about howearly it was and how dark it
was In the evenings, but Ididn't care if I slept until 12
or something.
What really?
Yeah, I used to sleep in loads.
I remember always caring aboutthat.
Maybe you were different.
(19:32):
I always used to sleep in until11 or 12.
I didn't care.
Yeah, I always used to think ohno, it's my day off, I'd sleep
in too much and I'd be annoyed.
Yeah, if I sleep in too muchand if I got a headache I don't
get headaches that much oh, no,yeah, because you don't sleep in
that much?
Probably no, but sometimes I do.
(19:52):
I do recuperate, like if I'vebeen out on a night out, if
we've been out, I do sleep in.
Yes, obviously we've been out,I do sleep in, I do.
Obviously you get up 10, 11, Isuppose if you go to bed at two
or three in the morning, that'snormal, yeah, something else?
Yep, absolutely it is.
So is that what you do tocontrol your worry at night?
(20:15):
What do you do?
I try not to worry, and at allabout things.
Now, yeah, I've become veryphilosophical about things and I
just think If there's somethingI can do about it, I'll do it
and I don't go to the worstsituation, like the worst
scenario.
(20:36):
I think I'm like worried out.
I've done so much worry in thepast goodness me, yeah, but I
now, especially with health, andthat I just take it very for
just one day at a time, kind ofthing.
I'm not gonna.
I mean, I've had new reasons toworry now with my son's you
know health, but even with them,like before, I would have been
(20:58):
worried, sick about your sons.
And now I, I don't worry likethat.
I just no, thank goodness.
You did used to worry.
I used to be so empatheticabout people and I'd worry more
than the necessary about otherpeople as well and about their
health.
Gosh, yes, and now I, I don'tdo that anymore.
No, thank goodness, yes,goodness, and I'm much freer and
(21:20):
happier from it.
Yes, absolutely, and in the end, most of it turns out it's
always okay, and if it isn't,there's nothing you can do about
it.
Anyway, that's life.
So I must say, yeah, that istrue, yeah, even though, like
you know, I've had my son'sdiagnosis.
He's recently been diagnosedwith bladder cancer and that was
(21:43):
pretty scary, really, reallyscary as a mom.
He's so young, he's 27, and Ithought, gosh, how am I gonna
ever overcome this worry now?
And it's just constant, becausethen it's another test and then
he has to do.
You know, it's just, but I'vemanaged to somehow, somehow take
(22:05):
it day by day, you know, andand and sort of live from for my
health experience as well.
Just understand that.
You know, these things are whatthey are transitory as well,
aren't they?
I, I hope they're transitoryand I hope they go away.
And I mean, he's had an, he'shad an operation and everything,
(22:26):
and.
But then you, it is easy to godown that spiral, isn't it?
With things like cancer, youknow, you worry and worry and
worry.
You can go down.
So but I I've managed to put it, like uh, to one side and only
think about it when it'snecessary.
When he comes and he talks tome about it, then I'll think
about it, or when it's the nexttest or something.
(22:49):
But I've managed to somehowseparate things in my mind so I
can still have a lovely hotchocolate and really enjoy that
hot chocolate without itovertaking.
I think it's something I havelearned to do.
It's something, it's a skill.
You learn how to do thisthrough things that happen to
(23:09):
you in life, yeah, and throughthe tools that you have.
Obviously, yes, yes, throughthe tools.
Yeah, absolutely yeah, you haveto go, you have to do it, don't
you?
You, you think how else wouldyou manage to do it?
Well, yeah, you, otherwise youdon't.
You don't manage that.
What you said.
It's not easy to do these things.
(23:30):
No, with loved ones, withyourself, with, with you know,
anybody else?
You, you end up just having awhole day of worry.
And what's the point?
There is absolutely nothingthat you can do.
Most of the time, you canfollow the doctor's orders and
everything, but that's it.
Then you, your, your duty is toto live your life, your life and
(23:53):
thing, with worry as well.
It's if you, if you're worriedabout I say if you're worried
about your son you're not ableto enjoy your son as he is now.
No, it's always thinking of thefuture, worrying about
something that might not evenhappen.
Another test when is the nexttest?
You're not, you're like.
You're like stealing the momentaway.
(24:14):
It is difficult to do, I mustadmit.
It's harder when it is one ofyour kids, you know, that is
affected.
It is, it's tough.
However, it is possible to doand I am living proof of this.
It really is possible.
So you can do it, you can putaside, you can enjoy yourself as
well and, you know, keep thingsseparate.
(24:36):
I think, yeah, and not go downthe spiral.
Yes, yes, and I think everyonehas their own journey as well.
So if we, if, if you're aperson that's very empathetic
and you're taking on everyoneelse's problems and journeys,
it's going to be far too muchfor you to handle, and it's not
(24:57):
a good thing, it's really.
It's just.
You just have to be likethinking I'm just free and like
just now, in the moment, am Iokay, right now, in the moment,
sitting on this chair, talkingto you?
Yes, yes, I'm fine, there'snothing Otherwise.
You're like Always you're in thefuture, aren't you Always in
(25:18):
the future?
But also you're likeimprisoning yourself.
You're like like enslavingyourself in in this thing that's
not even real.
So like you're incarceratingyourself in a thought that's not
even real.
It's an imaginary thought thatyou're not.
You know who would you bewithout that thought?
(25:39):
You would be, you would be free, you would you be.
Without that thought, you wouldbe free.
You would be free without thatthought.
So, absolutely so, freeyourselves, free yourselves from
worry.
Free yourselves from worry andobviously, take the necessary
actions that you need to takeand just be joyful, absolutely.
(25:59):
See you next week, next week,next episode.
Lots of love and smiles fromthe English sisters.
Bye, bye.
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