May 28, 2025 • 33 mins
The English Sisters share practical strategies for mindful living to manage stress more effectively in daily life. They explore how small changes in daily habits can lead to significant improvements in mental well-being.
• Starting the day without immediately checking your phone creates space for mindfulness
• Decluttering your physical space brings psychological peace and reduces anxiety
• Designating specific places for items prevents stress from lost belongings
• Learning to say no unapologetically helps prevent burnout
• Physical movement daily acts as a natural stress reliever
• Deep breathing and even intentional yawning activate the parasympathetic nervous system
• Mindful eating creates awareness and appreciation for nourishment
• Establishing consistent sleep routines with bedtime rituals improves rest quality
• Sharing concerns with others normalizes stress responses
• Practicing gratitude shifts focus to positive aspects of life
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
unlocking the secrets to mindful living and stress
relief.
Ah, isn't that what we all want?
Really, it's a biggie, isn't it?
It is a biggie, yes, to live astress-free life.
I don't think it's fire, Idon't think it's possible to
live a completely stress-freelife, but I think it is possible
to know how to um, you know howto to sort of handle stress,
(00:27):
how to manage it, how to manageit.
Yeah, that's what we're goingto be talking about in this
week's episode of get real withthe english sisters.
We are therapists and we arehere to help you.
Yes, so if you do need any helpor you have something that you
(00:49):
want to talk to us about, pleasefeel free to just send us a
message and we'll have a chat,exactly, yeah.
So I was feeling quite stressedout the other day and anxious.
Yeah, because my husband washaving an operation, even though
it's a minor thing, right, butit was just making me feel out
of sorts because my patternswere disrupted.
(01:11):
So I was worried, I wasconcerned and I thought how can
I cope with this?
So I listened to this lovelymindful meditation by louise,
who's no longer with us, but shewas a wonderful lady who gave
us gratitude and is very wellknown in our space.
(01:33):
Yeah, absolutely.
She was a great therapist andit was amazing.
It really did help me.
It did.
I do think that is one of the, Ithink, if we managed to start
the day with some kind ofmindfulness, I mean, even if
it's just like what I did today,when I did not touch my phone,
(01:57):
I thought, no, I don't want tohear about everything that's
going on, I don't want to readmy emails yet I'm I don't really
want to go straight into workmode at 7am, so I just left it
there and I I did thatconsciously and I got up and I
took a few deep breaths and Iwent into the bathroom.
I did all my preparation forthe day without reading anything
(02:20):
, and then I did bring my phonedown to breakfast and then I
turned it on, like I actuallyput yeah during breakfast, but
it made me feel more grounded tobe able to do that without
receiving, you know, all theseinquiries and everything that we
get all the time, and and and Ido think that is very, very
(02:41):
good tip, you know, is to startyour day like that.
Yeah, because I think now, withall this uh, with all this
technology that we have it doesit means we're like we're always
on, yeah, never switch off.
We're always so connected toeverything and everyone.
Exactly.
If you're not always in apositive way, though, no, if you
(03:04):
start your day with this quietreflection on how you're feeling
, it just takes a few moments,but it's just.
How am I feeling, you know, letme just move, stretch my ankles
a little bit, even while you'rein the bed.
You know you can start, youkind of start more naturally,
slower rhythm, even if you're ina rush, it doesn't matter, but
(03:28):
you're not immediately connectedto something that may cause you
some form of anxiety, somethingto do with work or whatever it
is that you're going to get.
You're going to be bombardedwith the chaos that's going on
around us.
I also find that when I havelike a tidy house, like if I
(03:48):
declutter, like if my room oh,that's another if I tidy up yes,
and I make my bed yes, I'malready put the, you know empty
the dishwasher I'm already a lothappier, I feel a lot calmer.
Well, a tidy space does bring asense of peace.
It makes you feel more peaceful, and that's the reason why I,
(04:10):
before I go to bed at night, Ialways want to tidy up the
kitchen.
I don't, personally.
I don't like leaving the disheshere and there.
No, I don't either.
No, I want it all to be like Iput the dishwasher on or I hand
wash the dishes, whatever it is.
But I want to for the space tobe peaceful, to be, all you know
(04:30):
, nice and tidy, so that thenext morning I can start afresh
without feeling, without seeingthat clutter.
I know, and sometimes it canhappen, but that's like 99
percent of the time.
That's what I, that's how Ipractice it.
Yeah, I make sure things aretidy.
When I have a moment as well, Imight go in and just do a little
(04:51):
bit of decluttering.
Yeah, that's a good idea todeclutter, to make your.
If I open one of my wardrobesand things are falling out, yeah
, I've got this, I've got this.
Things are falling out of mineas well.
My office I have to tackle,really, and it's got stuff in it
that's just stuffed in there.
And it's like me too, when Isee it, I think, no, I can't
(05:13):
handle it.
No, I can't handle this nowbecause I'm too stressed or
whatever.
But I think you do need thatmoment of energy.
But I think when you get it.
When you do it, then afterwardsyou feel so much better.
It is a good.
Yes, you do feel better.
You do feel better and it'slovely for your mind to see that
(05:34):
sort of lovely space where it'snot all cluttered.
The clutter can cause anxietyand stress cause anxiety and
stress.
It can make you feel especiallywhen you can't find things
sometimes even just saying okay,from now on I'm going to get a
bowl where I'm going to put mykeys in it.
I mean, this may sound soobvious, but you know how many
(05:56):
times, like my husband, he'lllose his keys car keys, house
keys and I just said look, hereis the bowl, everything goes in
there.
Do not lose them, stop leavingthem around.
And I mean he's finally nowdecided to use that bowl and it
causes a lot less stress andthat's just by keeping things in
(06:18):
you know one place where youknow it's there.
Yeah, like when things have ahome.
Yeah, you don't have to go intoa frenzy trying to find it,
especially when you're in a rush.
That can cause anxiety,especially when you're always
losing things as well.
What are you looking at?
Because I mean I did.
I didn't put my keys in the bowlexactly and I was looking for
(06:40):
them and then they ended up inmy and they were my, one of my
handbags, yes, which I find alsothe fact that we change ladies,
yes, all these differenthandbags which are very
fortunate and lovely, and we, Imean, we love our handbags.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, when we have, we're lucky, we live in italy so we don't
have too many on the go, thoughyeah, that's why I only use the
(07:01):
brown one now.
At the moment, I'm just usingthat bigger version, this big
brown one we got.
It's really nice, actually,because it's like I think it's
locally made, isn't it?
It's like Italian, it's locallymade, but it wasn't even that
expensive, so it was nice andit's got lots of pockets and
(07:24):
things, and I'm just, sometimesit's got too many.
Yeah, sometimes even that coolstuff in there.
Yeah, me too.
But I mean, you've got to knowyou put your phone in the center
or pocket.
I kind of learned from my phone.
Yeah, you have to learn.
But, yes, also that as well.
If I know I'm going to changebags like hand handbag for the
next day, I'll prepare it in theevening.
Yeah, I do as well.
Yeah, and I put like everythingin there already, the basic
(07:46):
stuff so that I don't have tohave a frenzy, unless I'm really
calm the next morning and Idon't care If you're not in a
hurry.
If you're not in a hurry,that's fine, you've got the day
off or or something.
But when you're in a hurry, Ithink as a general tip yes, it's
very good in a hurry a verygood tip is to be prepared.
So like, prepare your outfit,uh, declutter your kit.
(08:09):
What was I saying just today?
I said, right, what outfit am Igoing to wear?
Because tomorrow we've got ameeting with the lawyers and I
thought, what am I going to wearto the lawyers?
I mean, I want to look smartand sort of like professional,
and so we were choosing anoutfit already today.
Yes, and that's far away, isn'tit?
Yeah, well, it's all that faraway tomorrow, yeah, but people
(08:29):
would say what are you doing inthe morning, choosing something
for tomorrow.
My husband would say thatyou're nuts.
Yeah, a lot of the times beforeI actually sort of like, when
I'm just sort of in the slumberin the morning slumber, I'll
start thinking what, what am Igoing to wear?
What's the outfit?
And I visualize it.
Do you remember?
You were quite surprised whenwe went, at that, yeah, when we
(08:50):
went, when we go on ourconferences together, before
waking up, no, I'm obviously I'mawake, but then I sort of
decide, okay, I'll put that topwith that skirt and that, and I
figure it all out, and then Iwake up.
I actually get up and I've gotit all sorted as well, yeah, and
then you sort it for me as well, yeah, because we wear the same
outfit.
(09:10):
So I do sort it.
Yeah, see it, say it, sort.
It reminds me of what they sayon the underground in england.
What's, I think, for powerplanning your day as well.
It's like saying no to thingsthat you don't want or don't
need in your life.
That's another great tip For astress-free living.
Yes is definitely learn to sayno.
(09:32):
It's saying no unapologeticallyyes, so don't think about it
too much.
It's saying no, I can't fitthat in today.
Yes, sorry, no, yeah too muchand say no, I can't, I can't fit
that in today.
Yes, sorry, yeah, yeah, andapologetically yeah.
Well, sorry, no, because youhave to be polite.
Yes, yes, it will preventburnout and it will give you,
you know, the time to say yes towhat really matters.
(09:54):
And I think if you're the kindof person that always tends to
want to do things for everybody,learning to say no and learning
to just take a bit of a backseat.
And then, because, if you'realways doing things for everyone
, as well, it takes away the.
You're kind of robbing thatother person of doing those
things, aren't you?
Absolutely?
Well, you're not giving themspace to grow either.
(10:16):
Because, well, that'sespecially in the case of when
you really like to be in controlof absolutely everything at
work, at home, and you say, no,I'll just do it, I'll just do it
, I'll just it.
You know, if you're alwaysdoing like, for example, making
the dinner, how do you know ifthe, the person you've got close
to you, might say, oh, I have achance to have fun, you know,
(10:37):
prepare something.
They might get creative, makeyou play pasta.
You never heard of before.
It does because it gives them achance, doesn't it?
Watching that series on netflixwhere one of the four seasons,
or the seasons where one of thecouples was quite, um, the lady
in the couple she was, she wasquite.
(10:58):
I thought she was quitecontrolling, she always, and her
husband had kind of become abit useless.
Yeah, so she was always doingeverything for him and he was
always the one that was allowedto be like, the one that was
like, yeah, like, or she would,oh, no, I'll do it quicker.
But she was like taking awaythe opportunity for him to kind
of yes, like man up and and anddo stuff.
(11:21):
She was just doing everythingbecause she would say that's how
I do it.
What mum used to say, that sheused to say the more you do, the
less they do.
That was a big warning.
That was like the general rulefor, like growing up with our
mum.
She would say listen, this is atip about men.
Yes, I'm going to give you thistip.
(11:42):
She would tell us, like when wewere six and seven, and always
repeat it the more you do, theless they'll do.
So just take a break, sit downand say you can't do it, because
I would say things like mum,but surely you know we could
paint the corridor.
She always wanted the corridorpainted white and I would say to
(12:02):
her, like we were about 14, 15,mum, we can all do it.
I'll help you, we'll do it.
Let leave dad, he's tired.
And she would say, no, no, Iknow I could do it if I wanted
to, but I will not do it.
And I would think, yeah, butsurely nagging dad about it all
the time?
It was used to drive us crazy,didn't it?
We would always hear her saywhen are you gonna paint the
(12:24):
corridor?
What are you?
That?
That's also something that I donot like.
No, no, this, you know this.
It was more like she shouldhave just kept quiet about it.
Well, I'm not.
Well, that's what I'm.
Gentle reminders, I wait.
Now if I want something, I justbe patient.
I just be patient.
Me too.
(12:45):
I've learned to be patient.
I have as well, and a lot ofthe times I think it's not fair,
is it no?
And I think if I get told to dosomething and I don't feel like
it or I haven't got the energy,I don't want to do it.
No, I would hate it as well.
I just want to do it when Ifeel like it, when you have that
bout of energy Sometimes.
I mean the other day my daughterJasmine.
She was saying Mum, we've gotthis beautiful garden, why don't
(13:09):
you just go out and just potterin it, like what the English
ladies do?
They just go and potter intheir gardens.
They potter with a cup of tea.
When I go gardening, I put mylike tracksuit on uh, gardening
gloves.
You're like everything cap, uh,mosquito repellent, and it's
out there for like 10 hoursgardening like this massive
(13:32):
garden we've got, with massiveweeds growing everywhere and god
knows what, and so I said letme just try this pottering thing
.
It did sound quite attractive,it's lovely.
So you started pottering aroundthe garden.
So I went out fully dressed.
I just come back from somewhereand I go pottering and then in
(13:54):
the, then if you'd seen me thenext like five minutes I'm, I
was on a call to her and I gojasmine, this is turning into
massive, deep gardening.
I had a whole bucket of garden,all you.
So you did not potter.
I couldn't potter because thegarden just didn't allow for
pottering.
Well, it's because your minddidn't allow for pottering if
you'd taken with you a cup oftea and just sat down and just
(14:16):
enjoyed the tea.
But I couldn't because Istarted cutting, then cutting
the leaves and then the weeds,and I see these horrible.
I know, I know, I know I can't.
Yeah, oh yeah, those sake things.
Yeah, those wheat I don't knowwhat they're called in english,
I don't know either.
Yeah, but they like get intothe dog's skin.
(14:36):
Yeah, they're like little, youknow.
You probably know what we'retalking about.
If you've got a pet, you knowand you live in the countryside.
Because I don't know, this isyeah, I saw them.
So I said why?
Then in the end I said I've gota massive wheelbarrow here of
cuttings.
I cut a tree down, I pulled it.
You're joking.
In the end I had this tree, Ipulled it, oh dear.
(14:58):
But anyway, you enjoyed it, didyou?
It was not really.
Yeah, yeah, it was good, it wassatisfying, but I thought this
isn't pottering.
No, it's definitely not.
I've gone out with the idea ofjust taking my secateurs and
cutting a few roses.
Oh right, okay, with a littlebasket, like in the films, like
(15:20):
just going and collecting someroses.
But it turned out slightlydifferent.
It did, but it was still okay.
I mean, I was a bit worriedabout my clothes and couldn't
you say no and just like withoutguilt and ask your husband to
help?
I couldn't, because he had anoperation.
Oh well, poor thing, he can'tdo it.
That's why I had more gardeningto do.
Yes, but I did enjoy it.
(15:42):
But I thought I was laughingbecause I thought this is not
pottering.
No, so maybe when you're doingyour decluttering or whatever
you know.
Sometimes, if you can, just theidea of just doing a little
small area is very nice.
Well, that's how we decided,like again, to talk about the
garden, because we also have alarge garden, we're in the
countryside, so we also did.
(16:04):
I, in my mind, I thought Ican't handle the whole thing, so
I'll do one area.
And when I told my husband thathe liked it as well, I said
just because he'll do the samething once he starts.
He rarely ever does, but oncehe starts he has to kill himself
.
Go out there.
I say, no, just let's try, justdo one thing.
(16:24):
Today You're carried away.
Yeah, let's just do that gardenbed.
You know, just cut that palmtree, those leaves, do one thing
.
I mean he tends to get carriedaway.
The thing is, if you get carriedaway too much, and what happens
is it?
It burns you out, yeah, it putsyou off from doing it the next
day or the other.
(16:45):
You know you might you'll getexhausted and you won't do it.
But I mean, I was kind ofsuccessful because I managed to
do it in my clothes and theywere fine and I had your normal
clothes.
It wasn't.
Yeah, it was a minimum amountof you know, it was okay, it
wasn't too much.
I think next time I'll have totry and limit it a little bit
(17:08):
more.
But I have to focus on itbecause I'm just not used to it.
I have to build a habit of this.
Just pottering, yes, justpottering, pottering and
learning just to look, without.
If I see that something's aslightly bigger job, I'll leave
that for the day when I'm in myfull gardening.
Yes, yes, select a date for it?
Yeah, definitely, definitely,that would be a good thing.
(17:32):
Um, this is all come fromsaying no without guilt and
decluttering it's good.
It's good to declutter,definitely for your mind, for
your stress.
I mean, obviously, gardeningmakes you feel better, so that's
excellent, you know, yeah,because you're outside.
Yeah, I mean, like dailymovement is so good, isn't it?
(17:54):
Yes, you can go for a nice walk.
That's why sometimes I go outin the garden.
Like the other day I didn'treally.
We went on that trip and then Icame back and I thought I'll
just cut the grass.
Now my husband's like you,crazy, you're gonna cut the
grass.
We've just come back from a bigtrip and I said do you want to
cut the grass?
No way in hell, he said do Iwant to cut the grass?
(18:14):
And then my son said just goand put your pajamas on, mum,
it's like it's late.
And then I thought it was sunnyoutside.
I got really late, so I startedcutting it and I actually felt
quite good and then it stoppedworking.
So that's it.
The lawnmower stopped workingagain.
It was a spark plug.
We didn't.
I think it's a spark plug.
(18:35):
Yeah, that put an end to yourwork.
That put an end.
Yeah, I was left a little bitlike frustrated.
I thought I wanted to kind offinish it Anyway, but the thing
is I wanted to move my body, youknow.
So I do think moving your bodyevery day Well, that's
scientifically been proven,hasn't it?
Movement helps you so muchpsychologically, for stress
(18:58):
relief and anxiety.
Yes, yes, you know, get outthere and do it.
I think if you can move yourbody, whether it's just
pottering around or whether it'sactually doing a little workout
, you know some kind ofstretching, something where
you're moving your body and ifyou could perhaps move your body
and take a walk outside, oreven a short walk, you know,
(19:19):
then that helps even further, Ithink.
Well, daily activity helps somuch.
Yeah, it really does, becauseit puts.
I mean, you have to be kind ofmindful.
I mean, do you remember when wewere growing up we'd walk to
school and that was so boring.
We'd find it so boring.
But you know what, on thosewalks to school, even though I
didn't like them, my mind wouldget so creative it would wonder.
(19:42):
All the time I would get boredbecause it was like a 20-minute
walk.
Was it like 20 minutes?
Maybe it seemed longer becauseit was quite long.
It was over 20 minutes.
I think it's probably about 22minutes or something.
Oh, wow, three minutes more.
Okay, but in in that walk,especially in the cold, you know
, when you, just because we werein london yeah, it was chilly
(20:06):
and walking I used to sort ofinvent all kind of stories in my
head.
I still remember them now, someof them.
We would invent that there waslike those walkways, wouldn't we
the ones we have, the ones theyhave at the airport now, the
ones where you step on?
Yeah, but we would wish thatthey would be on the road?
Yeah, it would help us.
Yeah, get there faster, exactly.
I still remember that one.
(20:27):
We would go oh, like this ismagic, you just stand on it and
it'll take us with us straightto school really quickly and we
won't have to worry about it, oryeah, lots of magical things we
would sort of invent that havenow turned into reality actually
, yeah, yeah.
So it's moving your body.
(20:49):
And then, you know, we mustnever forget to actually breathe
, and I know this sounds obvious, but breathing with intention
is like different to justbreathing.
You know you have to.
You know, actual, deep, slowbreathing activates your
parasympathetic nervous systemand so it calms your body and
(21:13):
mind instantly.
So if you can try four to sevenor eight deep breaths, you can
slowly find that you, you becomemore relaxed, definitely, and
that can help.
You know, if you're throughoutyour day, you can just take
these deep breaths anywhere youare really, yeah, just hold it
(21:35):
in for a few seconds, yeah, andbreathe out for a few seconds,
yeah, you do that quite a lot.
Take the longer ones.
Yes, I do, I do take the longerones, but you know, like even a
sigh or a yawn that's stressful.
Yes, oh, now I feel likeyawning, yeah, because actually
it's not just when you're tired,you yawn.
(21:56):
You yawn also to relieve stress.
Yeah, yeah, you actually seelittle pets do that.
Sometimes they're like yawningand you think, oh, they're tired
, they're also doing it torelieve stress.
It's quite interesting actually.
Actually, I remember now youfeel like yawning.
Yawning is one of the supercontagious things.
You know, you one person,you're not bored, we're just.
(22:16):
No, we're just relaxing.
Now, as we're talking aboutbreathing, it does make you
relax, doesn't?
It definitely makes you relax,I think.
If you're doing something quitestressful or you've got a
meeting, you know, just take afew deep breaths before you go
in.
Or or just fake yawn.
You know, if you fake, you'relike when you go to the bathroom
(22:38):
or something obviously not infront of them, you know you fake
.
You on your instantly send yourmind a message that hey, things
are okay.
Because you yawn before goingto sleep and when you go to
sleep, it means that you're calm, otherwise you can't sleep.
So it means you're you're notin any particular threat at that
moment.
I always have a big yawn beforeI go to sleep and I noticed it
(23:02):
once.
Really, yeah, it was quiteunusual.
I noticed it once and I thought, ah, this is a yawn.
Before I go to sleep, when I'mactually lying in bed, I have a
yawn.
Oh god, you're making me yawn,I can't remember, I'll notice it
.
And then, every night, I noticeI actually do it, and when I
become conscious of it, I becomeconscious.
When I do it, I think, ah, soI'm going to fall asleep soon.
(23:22):
That's really that's a lovelycue, isn't it?
That's like you've sent yourmind a message.
I'm going to do a big, deepyawn now, and then I'll fall
asleep.
It's like you've sent your minda message I'm going to do a big
, deep yawn now, and then I'llfall asleep.
It's like a kind of hypnotic,you know, command as to say,
you're commanding your mind toturn itself off by taking this
lovely deep yawn.
You can try that, yeah, but notif you're driving or writing
(23:45):
machinery.
No, no, before sleeping, beforesleeping, because we know a lot
of people listen to this in thecar.
Right, yeah, don't do thatbefore.
No, no, that's right, we'recareful of this.
We also think that you know it'sso important as well for stress
and anxiety to nourish yourselfproperly.
Yes, so to feed yourselfhealthy stuff that's going to
(24:07):
make you feel great.
Absolutely, you eat mindfully,yeah, healthy stuff that's going
to make you feel great.
Absolutely, you eat mindfully.
Yeah, because knowing that whatyou can, what you actually eat
does affect your mood and energy.
You know, if you can eat morewhole foods, you can get more
fruit and veg.
Get more fruit and veg.
Stay hydrated.
And you consciously eat.
It's a bit like what we weresaying about you consciously
(24:29):
yawning.
Conscious eating is just simplybecoming aware of what you're
eating.
Yeah.
So looking at your food, yeah,looking at your food, tasting
your food, saying thank you forthank you for this.
If you're gonna have attitude,if you're gonna have a special,
yeah, if you're gonna have a,really make sure that you taste
(24:49):
it.
You know what did that tastelike?
You know, sometimes I see myhusband he'll just scoff his
food and I said did you likethat?
I don't know what do you mean?
You don't know.
You know, be more conscious ofit.
And then when he started, hedid this diet once because his
blood pressure went too high andhe had to lose weight.
Then he suddenly became reallyconscious of what he was eating
(25:18):
and that actually helped him.
Now he's more conscious of it.
Like if he has I don't know apeanut, whatever, I said enjoy
it.
Yeah, what are you laughing at?
Peanut, because it's whole food.
A lot of us we just eat withoutrealizing it.
You're just putting things inyour mouth.
You might be watching TV onyour phone yes, yes, you're not
actually looking, you'rescrolling.
While you're eating, you'rethinking, okay, this is
nourishing me, I'm grateful forthis food.
(25:40):
Isn't it lovely to be able tohave this nice meal, or whatever
, or you know.
But just you can just taste it.
Yeah, just taste it.
Take an opportunity to actuallytaste what you're eating and
that is what that's a whole.
You know, philosophy aroundconscious eating is that we've
stopped consciously eating.
Nowadays we eat while in someform of trance and we're not
(26:06):
actually enjoying it one or evenrealizing, like what you were
saying, the quantity or whatwe're doing with it.
You know, we don't even know ifwe're full or if we're not full
half the time because we'reeating so fast that we don't
even think oh, we just eatbecause the time says it's time
to eat.
Are we really hungry or have wejust been programmed to say, oh
(26:28):
, you know, I realize how muchI'm programmed Like five o'clock
I'll suddenly go and say, oh, Ifancy a cup of tea, I want a
cup of tea, because just beingso programmed to think, oh, I'll
have a cup of tea, and I justrandomly look and of course it's
five o'clock.
Of course it's like the English.
You know the programming it'sfive o'clock and it's tea time.
(26:53):
Yeah, come on, how programmedhave I got stress?
I always want tea, a cup of tea, me too.
It's because it's like ah, it'salso because it's something you
have to drink a bit slowly.
Yes, it's like you have to takea moment, don't you?
You do, not only to prepare it,but also to drink it also.
We don't want a cup of tea now.
(27:14):
Yeah, also prioritize your sleep.
So go to sleep at a regulartime.
Yeah, create up at a time, tryand create a bedtime ritual,
like what violetta was sayingwith you know the yawn.
Yeah, but turn off your device.
Yes, absolutely.
Read a book or just don't doanything.
I know, go and do some crochetor knitting, yeah, yeah, turn,
(27:39):
try and turn off the devices.
Something nice, yeah, somethingcalming, even if it is on the
screen, but it's somethingthat's going to calm you,
because I know it's easy to sayturn off screens, don't binge
something that you're going towant to stay up until three
o'clock in the morning.
No, I've done that before.
(27:59):
Bad, bad, bad idea.
I don't do that anymore now.
Try and stay to a regular.
Do you know what I've starteddoing?
Even if I'm halfway through afilm, I started turning off.
If I, if I feel myself yawningor feel that, yes, towards my
bedtime, because there's nopoint watching it, I think I'll
watch it tomorrow.
What is your bedtime now?
11, 11, oh, it's more or lessmy bedtime as well now.
(28:20):
Oh, surprise, surprise, no, butnow I try and say like 11, yeah
, and then it's the, because Iget up at 6.30, so I think
that's 6.30.
Yeah, it's quite early, but Ilike to have the time before I
have to leave the house.
Yes, because that's somethingelse, that for me it's a stress
relief.
(28:40):
Yeah, knowing that.
Yeah, and I have to be able tohave breakfast.
Yes, yeah, do my little rituals.
I want at least 30 minutes forbreakfast, yeah, yeah, yeah, do
my little rituals.
I want at least 30 minutes forbreakfast.
Yeah, yeah, at least.
I mean, it sounds a lot really,because I don't even eat that
much, but just to be able tojust sit down and and I like to
look outside when I havebreakfast, I've got lucky.
(29:02):
I'm lucky because I've got theum, the kitchen door is a window
so I can see into the gardenand that I find that very
relaxing.
Even like now, my husband sitsin front of me so he blocks the
view.
So I'll move away.
And I'm always thinking is hegoing to notice that I'm just
moving?
He never does notice.
No, he's like, no, he's notmindful.
(29:24):
The same way he doesn't.
He's a different one, he's adarling, but he's different.
Yeah, he just doesn't realizeit, but I, for me, that's like
important to be able to lookoutside.
That's important, that's animportant point.
And to know to become aware.
You know yourself and know whatrelaxes you and what makes you
(29:45):
feel good.
Yes, so, and then go and dothose things, yeah, and you know
, find time to do those.
You know, allocate time forthem if you know that you are
somebody that might.
You know you like breakfast andyou want to be able to have the
time.
Don't make it rushed.
Why are you making it hard onyourself?
You know, begin to understandthat.
(30:06):
Yeah, I do actually like to sitdown and you know, sit my
coffee slowly.
Whatever you're drinking, do it.
You know, allocate that spaceand time for yourself, because
that will, in the end, build upand, you know, help you so much
it starts your day.
Well, yeah, I'm thinking.
When the children were young, Iused to get up an hour earlier
(30:27):
on purpose, exactly, just to beable to have breakfast and
organise everything calmlybefore they work out.
Yeah, me too, definitely.
So just know yourself and knowwhat you need, and then you know
you might think, yeah, but Icould have had an extra hour of
sleep.
But maybe try and go to bedearlier, or just, I don't know,
organise yourself, because Ithink organisation and
(30:47):
discipline in daily routinesreally does help if you're
feeling anxious or stressed, youknow to have that so much.
You know the daily habits, theroutines that keep so much it
can definitely help.
Yeah, it's that grounding, it'slike what you say, just simple
little things, habits,discipline that that repeat
(31:09):
themselves daily.
Yeah, tied in is putting yourkeys in one place, this in the
other place.
Knowing you where your thingsare can keep you calm as well,
because that can also createanxiety if you you can't, you
know you're losing stuff.
And also, you know, don't,don't forget to talk it out.
You know, share it, yeah, talkit out, share it with each other
(31:31):
, share it with a friend, atherapist, a journal.
Yeah, because you'll find thateverybody's the same.
In the end, they all feel thesame, don't they?
They do A lot of people arefeeling exactly the way that you
are, yeah, and so if you share,if you talk, if you discuss it,
you know, sometimes it'ssurprising you can just say gosh
, I'm, I'm just feeling, youknow, nervous.
(31:52):
Today, when I was feelinganxious, I felt as if I couldn't
see properly.
I mean, I wear glasses, but Ifelt the glasses weren't working
, you know.
And so I shared that with mydaughter when I was on a call to
her, and she said mum, I feelthe same when I, when I get
anxious or nervous, I can't seeeither.
And I said, really, that's soweird.
And she goes yeah, becauseyou're feeling, you know, you're
(32:13):
overwhelmed, you're feelinganxious.
So just, you know, take amoment, calm down.
And just the fact that she saidthat to me, that made me feel
so much calmer and I thought,okay, and then I went for a nice
walk and I, you know, I didsomething for myself and I felt
a lot better and you found thatyour vision returned perfectly.
Yeah, it was fine, it was thesame as it was before, because
(32:35):
it's not perfect, but it was thesame as it was before it was
fine.
So what I'm saying is we workourselves up into these days,
but when we share it with otherpeople, we share our problems
and we find other people havethe same thing and it's okay.
Yes, yes, you feel calmer,don't you?
You do feel calmer and I think,if you remember sort of like to
feel to practice gratitude, youknow that's another little
(32:59):
habit, self-discipline, that'sanother one that's gonna
definitely help you throughoutyour day.
Just say, oh well, I'm grateful, I've got this and I'm grateful
for that, and you know there'sso many things in the end that
we are grateful for that.
I think what you're looking atmeans no, it's true, yeah.
(33:20):
And to say we're grateful thatthe sun comes up tomorrow
morning, oh yeah, definitely.
You know tomorrow's another dayand the sun will shine, or it
won't shine, but it'll be therebehind the clouds or whatever.
Anyway, let us know what youthink and we'd love to hear from
you.
Come and give us a comment anda like on youtube, subscribe to
(33:41):
our channel and you can alsotext us wherever you get your
podcasts.
You can send us a text.
Yes, absolutely directly underyour.
We'll be very happy to answeryou.
We'll be very happy to hearfrom you.
Lots of love and smiles fromthe english sisters.
Bye.
unlocking the secrets to mindful living and stress
relief.
Ah, isn't that what we all want?
Really, it's a biggie, isn't it?
It is a biggie, yes, to live astress-free life.
I don't think it's fire, Idon't think it's possible to
live a completely stress-freelife, but I think it is possible
to know how to um, you know howto to sort of handle stress,
(00:27):
how to manage it, how to manageit.
Yeah, that's what we're goingto be talking about in this
week's episode of get real withthe english sisters.
We are therapists and we arehere to help you.
Yes, so if you do need any helpor you have something that you
(00:49):
want to talk to us about, pleasefeel free to just send us a
message and we'll have a chat,exactly, yeah.
So I was feeling quite stressedout the other day and anxious.
Yeah, because my husband washaving an operation, even though
it's a minor thing, right, butit was just making me feel out
of sorts because my patternswere disrupted.
(01:11):
So I was worried, I wasconcerned and I thought how can
I cope with this?
So I listened to this lovelymindful meditation by louise,
who's no longer with us, but shewas a wonderful lady who gave
us gratitude and is very wellknown in our space.
(01:33):
Yeah, absolutely.
She was a great therapist andit was amazing.
It really did help me.
It did.
I do think that is one of the, Ithink, if we managed to start
the day with some kind ofmindfulness, I mean, even if
it's just like what I did today,when I did not touch my phone,
(01:57):
I thought, no, I don't want tohear about everything that's
going on, I don't want to readmy emails yet I'm I don't really
want to go straight into workmode at 7am, so I just left it
there and I I did thatconsciously and I got up and I
took a few deep breaths and Iwent into the bathroom.
I did all my preparation forthe day without reading anything
(02:20):
, and then I did bring my phonedown to breakfast and then I
turned it on, like I actuallyput yeah during breakfast, but
it made me feel more grounded tobe able to do that without
receiving, you know, all theseinquiries and everything that we
get all the time, and and and Ido think that is very, very
(02:41):
good tip, you know, is to startyour day like that.
Yeah, because I think now, withall this uh, with all this
technology that we have it doesit means we're like we're always
on, yeah, never switch off.
We're always so connected toeverything and everyone.
Exactly.
If you're not always in apositive way, though, no, if you
(03:04):
start your day with this quietreflection on how you're feeling
, it just takes a few moments,but it's just.
How am I feeling, you know, letme just move, stretch my ankles
a little bit, even while you'rein the bed.
You know you can start, youkind of start more naturally,
slower rhythm, even if you're ina rush, it doesn't matter, but
(03:28):
you're not immediately connectedto something that may cause you
some form of anxiety, somethingto do with work or whatever it
is that you're going to get.
You're going to be bombardedwith the chaos that's going on
around us.
I also find that when I havelike a tidy house, like if I
(03:48):
declutter, like if my room oh,that's another if I tidy up yes,
and I make my bed yes, I'malready put the, you know empty
the dishwasher I'm already a lothappier, I feel a lot calmer.
Well, a tidy space does bring asense of peace.
It makes you feel more peaceful, and that's the reason why I,
(04:10):
before I go to bed at night, Ialways want to tidy up the
kitchen.
I don't, personally.
I don't like leaving the disheshere and there.
No, I don't either.
No, I want it all to be like Iput the dishwasher on or I hand
wash the dishes, whatever it is.
But I want to for the space tobe peaceful, to be, all you know
(04:30):
, nice and tidy, so that thenext morning I can start afresh
without feeling, without seeingthat clutter.
I know, and sometimes it canhappen, but that's like 99
percent of the time.
That's what I, that's how Ipractice it.
Yeah, I make sure things aretidy.
When I have a moment as well, Imight go in and just do a little
(04:51):
bit of decluttering.
Yeah, that's a good idea todeclutter, to make your.
If I open one of my wardrobesand things are falling out, yeah
, I've got this, I've got this.
Things are falling out of mineas well.
My office I have to tackle,really, and it's got stuff in it
that's just stuffed in there.
And it's like me too, when Isee it, I think, no, I can't
(05:13):
handle it.
No, I can't handle this nowbecause I'm too stressed or
whatever.
But I think you do need thatmoment of energy.
But I think when you get it.
When you do it, then afterwardsyou feel so much better.
It is a good.
Yes, you do feel better.
You do feel better and it'slovely for your mind to see that
(05:34):
sort of lovely space where it'snot all cluttered.
The clutter can cause anxietyand stress cause anxiety and
stress.
It can make you feel especiallywhen you can't find things
sometimes even just saying okay,from now on I'm going to get a
bowl where I'm going to put mykeys in it.
I mean, this may sound soobvious, but you know how many
(05:56):
times, like my husband, he'lllose his keys car keys, house
keys and I just said look, hereis the bowl, everything goes in
there.
Do not lose them, stop leavingthem around.
And I mean he's finally nowdecided to use that bowl and it
causes a lot less stress andthat's just by keeping things in
(06:18):
you know one place where youknow it's there.
Yeah, like when things have ahome.
Yeah, you don't have to go intoa frenzy trying to find it,
especially when you're in a rush.
That can cause anxiety,especially when you're always
losing things as well.
What are you looking at?
Because I mean I did.
I didn't put my keys in the bowlexactly and I was looking for
(06:40):
them and then they ended up inmy and they were my, one of my
handbags, yes, which I find alsothe fact that we change ladies,
yes, all these differenthandbags which are very
fortunate and lovely, and we, Imean, we love our handbags.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, when we have, we're lucky, we live in italy so we don't
have too many on the go, thoughyeah, that's why I only use the
(07:01):
brown one now.
At the moment, I'm just usingthat bigger version, this big
brown one we got.
It's really nice, actually,because it's like I think it's
locally made, isn't it?
It's like Italian, it's locallymade, but it wasn't even that
expensive, so it was nice andit's got lots of pockets and
(07:24):
things, and I'm just, sometimesit's got too many.
Yeah, sometimes even that coolstuff in there.
Yeah, me too.
But I mean, you've got to knowyou put your phone in the center
or pocket.
I kind of learned from my phone.
Yeah, you have to learn.
But, yes, also that as well.
If I know I'm going to changebags like hand handbag for the
next day, I'll prepare it in theevening.
Yeah, I do as well.
Yeah, and I put like everythingin there already, the basic
(07:46):
stuff so that I don't have tohave a frenzy, unless I'm really
calm the next morning and Idon't care If you're not in a
hurry.
If you're not in a hurry,that's fine, you've got the day
off or or something.
But when you're in a hurry, Ithink as a general tip yes, it's
very good in a hurry a verygood tip is to be prepared.
So like, prepare your outfit,uh, declutter your kit.
(08:09):
What was I saying just today?
I said, right, what outfit am Igoing to wear?
Because tomorrow we've got ameeting with the lawyers and I
thought, what am I going to wearto the lawyers?
I mean, I want to look smartand sort of like professional,
and so we were choosing anoutfit already today.
Yes, and that's far away, isn'tit?
Yeah, well, it's all that faraway tomorrow, yeah, but people
(08:29):
would say what are you doing inthe morning, choosing something
for tomorrow.
My husband would say thatyou're nuts.
Yeah, a lot of the times beforeI actually sort of like, when
I'm just sort of in the slumberin the morning slumber, I'll
start thinking what, what am Igoing to wear?
What's the outfit?
And I visualize it.
Do you remember?
You were quite surprised whenwe went, at that, yeah, when we
(08:50):
went, when we go on ourconferences together, before
waking up, no, I'm obviously I'mawake, but then I sort of
decide, okay, I'll put that topwith that skirt and that, and I
figure it all out, and then Iwake up.
I actually get up and I've gotit all sorted as well, yeah, and
then you sort it for me as well, yeah, because we wear the same
outfit.
(09:10):
So I do sort it.
Yeah, see it, say it, sort.
It reminds me of what they sayon the underground in england.
What's, I think, for powerplanning your day as well.
It's like saying no to thingsthat you don't want or don't
need in your life.
That's another great tip For astress-free living.
Yes is definitely learn to sayno.
(09:32):
It's saying no unapologeticallyyes, so don't think about it
too much.
It's saying no, I can't fitthat in today.
Yes, sorry, no, yeah too muchand say no, I can't, I can't fit
that in today.
Yes, sorry, yeah, yeah, andapologetically yeah.
Well, sorry, no, because youhave to be polite.
Yes, yes, it will preventburnout and it will give you,
you know, the time to say yes towhat really matters.
(09:54):
And I think if you're the kindof person that always tends to
want to do things for everybody,learning to say no and learning
to just take a bit of a backseat.
And then, because, if you'realways doing things for everyone
, as well, it takes away the.
You're kind of robbing thatother person of doing those
things, aren't you?
Absolutely?
Well, you're not giving themspace to grow either.
(10:16):
Because, well, that'sespecially in the case of when
you really like to be in controlof absolutely everything at
work, at home, and you say, no,I'll just do it, I'll just do it
, I'll just it.
You know, if you're alwaysdoing like, for example, making
the dinner, how do you know ifthe, the person you've got close
to you, might say, oh, I have achance to have fun, you know,
(10:37):
prepare something.
They might get creative, makeyou play pasta.
You never heard of before.
It does because it gives them achance, doesn't it?
Watching that series on netflixwhere one of the four seasons,
or the seasons where one of thecouples was quite, um, the lady
in the couple she was, she wasquite.
(10:58):
I thought she was quitecontrolling, she always, and her
husband had kind of become abit useless.
Yeah, so she was always doingeverything for him and he was
always the one that was allowedto be like, the one that was
like, yeah, like, or she would,oh, no, I'll do it quicker.
But she was like taking awaythe opportunity for him to kind
of yes, like man up and and anddo stuff.
(11:21):
She was just doing everythingbecause she would say that's how
I do it.
What mum used to say, that sheused to say the more you do, the
less they do.
That was a big warning.
That was like the general rulefor, like growing up with our
mum.
She would say listen, this is atip about men.
Yes, I'm going to give you thistip.
(11:42):
She would tell us, like when wewere six and seven, and always
repeat it the more you do, theless they'll do.
So just take a break, sit downand say you can't do it, because
I would say things like mum,but surely you know we could
paint the corridor.
She always wanted the corridorpainted white and I would say to
(12:02):
her, like we were about 14, 15,mum, we can all do it.
I'll help you, we'll do it.
Let leave dad, he's tired.
And she would say, no, no, Iknow I could do it if I wanted
to, but I will not do it.
And I would think, yeah, butsurely nagging dad about it all
the time?
It was used to drive us crazy,didn't it?
We would always hear her saywhen are you gonna paint the
(12:24):
corridor?
What are you?
That?
That's also something that I donot like.
No, no, this, you know this.
It was more like she shouldhave just kept quiet about it.
Well, I'm not.
Well, that's what I'm.
Gentle reminders, I wait.
Now if I want something, I justbe patient.
I just be patient.
Me too.
(12:45):
I've learned to be patient.
I have as well, and a lot ofthe times I think it's not fair,
is it no?
And I think if I get told to dosomething and I don't feel like
it or I haven't got the energy,I don't want to do it.
No, I would hate it as well.
I just want to do it when Ifeel like it, when you have that
bout of energy Sometimes.
I mean the other day my daughterJasmine.
She was saying Mum, we've gotthis beautiful garden, why don't
(13:09):
you just go out and just potterin it, like what the English
ladies do?
They just go and potter intheir gardens.
They potter with a cup of tea.
When I go gardening, I put mylike tracksuit on uh, gardening
gloves.
You're like everything cap, uh,mosquito repellent, and it's
out there for like 10 hoursgardening like this massive
(13:32):
garden we've got, with massiveweeds growing everywhere and god
knows what, and so I said letme just try this pottering thing
.
It did sound quite attractive,it's lovely.
So you started pottering aroundthe garden.
So I went out fully dressed.
I just come back from somewhereand I go pottering and then in
(13:54):
the, then if you'd seen me thenext like five minutes I'm, I
was on a call to her and I gojasmine, this is turning into
massive, deep gardening.
I had a whole bucket of garden,all you.
So you did not potter.
I couldn't potter because thegarden just didn't allow for
pottering.
Well, it's because your minddidn't allow for pottering if
you'd taken with you a cup oftea and just sat down and just
(14:16):
enjoyed the tea.
But I couldn't because Istarted cutting, then cutting
the leaves and then the weeds,and I see these horrible.
I know, I know, I know I can't.
Yeah, oh yeah, those sake things.
Yeah, those wheat I don't knowwhat they're called in english,
I don't know either.
Yeah, but they like get intothe dog's skin.
(14:36):
Yeah, they're like little, youknow.
You probably know what we'retalking about.
If you've got a pet, you knowand you live in the countryside.
Because I don't know, this isyeah, I saw them.
So I said why?
Then in the end I said I've gota massive wheelbarrow here of
cuttings.
I cut a tree down, I pulled it.
You're joking.
In the end I had this tree, Ipulled it, oh dear.
(14:58):
But anyway, you enjoyed it, didyou?
It was not really.
Yeah, yeah, it was good, it wassatisfying, but I thought this
isn't pottering.
No, it's definitely not.
I've gone out with the idea ofjust taking my secateurs and
cutting a few roses.
Oh right, okay, with a littlebasket, like in the films, like
(15:20):
just going and collecting someroses.
But it turned out slightlydifferent.
It did, but it was still okay.
I mean, I was a bit worriedabout my clothes and couldn't
you say no and just like withoutguilt and ask your husband to
help?
I couldn't, because he had anoperation.
Oh well, poor thing, he can'tdo it.
That's why I had more gardeningto do.
Yes, but I did enjoy it.
(15:42):
But I thought I was laughingbecause I thought this is not
pottering.
No, so maybe when you're doingyour decluttering or whatever
you know.
Sometimes, if you can, just theidea of just doing a little
small area is very nice.
Well, that's how we decided,like again, to talk about the
garden, because we also have alarge garden, we're in the
countryside, so we also did.
(16:04):
I, in my mind, I thought Ican't handle the whole thing, so
I'll do one area.
And when I told my husband thathe liked it as well, I said
just because he'll do the samething once he starts.
He rarely ever does, but oncehe starts he has to kill himself
.
Go out there.
I say, no, just let's try, justdo one thing.
(16:24):
Today You're carried away.
Yeah, let's just do that gardenbed.
You know, just cut that palmtree, those leaves, do one thing
.
I mean he tends to get carriedaway.
The thing is, if you get carriedaway too much, and what happens
is it?
It burns you out, yeah, it putsyou off from doing it the next
day or the other.
(16:45):
You know you might you'll getexhausted and you won't do it.
But I mean, I was kind ofsuccessful because I managed to
do it in my clothes and theywere fine and I had your normal
clothes.
It wasn't.
Yeah, it was a minimum amountof you know, it was okay, it
wasn't too much.
I think next time I'll have totry and limit it a little bit
(17:08):
more.
But I have to focus on itbecause I'm just not used to it.
I have to build a habit of this.
Just pottering, yes, justpottering, pottering and
learning just to look, without.
If I see that something's aslightly bigger job, I'll leave
that for the day when I'm in myfull gardening.
Yes, yes, select a date for it?
Yeah, definitely, definitely,that would be a good thing.
(17:32):
Um, this is all come fromsaying no without guilt and
decluttering it's good.
It's good to declutter,definitely for your mind, for
your stress.
I mean, obviously, gardeningmakes you feel better, so that's
excellent, you know, yeah,because you're outside.
Yeah, I mean, like dailymovement is so good, isn't it?
(17:54):
Yes, you can go for a nice walk.
That's why sometimes I go outin the garden.
Like the other day I didn'treally.
We went on that trip and then Icame back and I thought I'll
just cut the grass.
Now my husband's like you,crazy, you're gonna cut the
grass.
We've just come back from a bigtrip and I said do you want to
cut the grass?
No way in hell, he said do Iwant to cut the grass?
(18:14):
And then my son said just goand put your pajamas on, mum,
it's like it's late.
And then I thought it was sunnyoutside.
I got really late, so I startedcutting it and I actually felt
quite good and then it stoppedworking.
So that's it.
The lawnmower stopped workingagain.
It was a spark plug.
We didn't.
I think it's a spark plug.
(18:35):
Yeah, that put an end to yourwork.
That put an end.
Yeah, I was left a little bitlike frustrated.
I thought I wanted to kind offinish it Anyway, but the thing
is I wanted to move my body, youknow.
So I do think moving your bodyevery day Well, that's
scientifically been proven,hasn't it?
Movement helps you so muchpsychologically, for stress
(18:58):
relief and anxiety.
Yes, yes, you know, get outthere and do it.
I think if you can move yourbody, whether it's just
pottering around or whether it'sactually doing a little workout
, you know some kind ofstretching, something where
you're moving your body and ifyou could perhaps move your body
and take a walk outside, oreven a short walk, you know,
(19:19):
then that helps even further, Ithink.
Well, daily activity helps somuch.
Yeah, it really does, becauseit puts.
I mean, you have to be kind ofmindful.
I mean, do you remember when wewere growing up we'd walk to
school and that was so boring.
We'd find it so boring.
But you know what, on thosewalks to school, even though I
didn't like them, my mind wouldget so creative it would wonder.
(19:42):
All the time I would get boredbecause it was like a 20-minute
walk.
Was it like 20 minutes?
Maybe it seemed longer becauseit was quite long.
It was over 20 minutes.
I think it's probably about 22minutes or something.
Oh, wow, three minutes more.
Okay, but in in that walk,especially in the cold, you know
, when you, just because we werein london yeah, it was chilly
(20:06):
and walking I used to sort ofinvent all kind of stories in my
head.
I still remember them now, someof them.
We would invent that there waslike those walkways, wouldn't we
the ones we have, the ones theyhave at the airport now, the
ones where you step on?
Yeah, but we would wish thatthey would be on the road?
Yeah, it would help us.
Yeah, get there faster, exactly.
I still remember that one.
(20:27):
We would go oh, like this ismagic, you just stand on it and
it'll take us with us straightto school really quickly and we
won't have to worry about it, oryeah, lots of magical things we
would sort of invent that havenow turned into reality actually
, yeah, yeah.
So it's moving your body.
(20:49):
And then, you know, we mustnever forget to actually breathe
, and I know this sounds obvious, but breathing with intention
is like different to justbreathing.
You know you have to.
You know, actual, deep, slowbreathing activates your
parasympathetic nervous systemand so it calms your body and
(21:13):
mind instantly.
So if you can try four to sevenor eight deep breaths, you can
slowly find that you, you becomemore relaxed, definitely, and
that can help.
You know, if you're throughoutyour day, you can just take
these deep breaths anywhere youare really, yeah, just hold it
(21:35):
in for a few seconds, yeah, andbreathe out for a few seconds,
yeah, you do that quite a lot.
Take the longer ones.
Yes, I do, I do take the longerones, but you know, like even a
sigh or a yawn that's stressful.
Yes, oh, now I feel likeyawning, yeah, because actually
it's not just when you're tired,you yawn.
(21:56):
You yawn also to relieve stress.
Yeah, yeah, you actually seelittle pets do that.
Sometimes they're like yawningand you think, oh, they're tired
, they're also doing it torelieve stress.
It's quite interesting actually.
Actually, I remember now youfeel like yawning.
Yawning is one of the supercontagious things.
You know, you one person,you're not bored, we're just.
(22:16):
No, we're just relaxing.
Now, as we're talking aboutbreathing, it does make you
relax, doesn't?
It definitely makes you relax,I think.
If you're doing something quitestressful or you've got a
meeting, you know, just take afew deep breaths before you go
in.
Or or just fake yawn.
You know, if you fake, you'relike when you go to the bathroom
(22:38):
or something obviously not infront of them, you know you fake
.
You on your instantly send yourmind a message that hey, things
are okay.
Because you yawn before goingto sleep and when you go to
sleep, it means that you're calm, otherwise you can't sleep.
So it means you're you're notin any particular threat at that
moment.
I always have a big yawn beforeI go to sleep and I noticed it
(23:02):
once.
Really, yeah, it was quiteunusual.
I noticed it once and I thought, ah, this is a yawn.
Before I go to sleep, when I'mactually lying in bed, I have a
yawn.
Oh god, you're making me yawn,I can't remember, I'll notice it
.
And then, every night, I noticeI actually do it, and when I
become conscious of it, I becomeconscious.
When I do it, I think, ah, soI'm going to fall asleep soon.
(23:22):
That's really that's a lovelycue, isn't it?
That's like you've sent yourmind a message.
I'm going to do a big, deepyawn now, and then I'll fall
asleep.
It's like you've sent your minda message I'm going to do a big
, deep yawn now, and then I'llfall asleep.
It's like a kind of hypnotic,you know, command as to say,
you're commanding your mind toturn itself off by taking this
lovely deep yawn.
You can try that, yeah, but notif you're driving or writing
(23:45):
machinery.
No, no, before sleeping, beforesleeping, because we know a lot
of people listen to this in thecar.
Right, yeah, don't do thatbefore.
No, no, that's right, we'recareful of this.
We also think that you know it'sso important as well for stress
and anxiety to nourish yourselfproperly.
Yes, so to feed yourselfhealthy stuff that's going to
(24:07):
make you feel great.
Absolutely, you eat mindfully,yeah, healthy stuff that's going
to make you feel great.
Absolutely, you eat mindfully.
Yeah, because knowing that whatyou can, what you actually eat
does affect your mood and energy.
You know, if you can eat morewhole foods, you can get more
fruit and veg.
Get more fruit and veg.
Stay hydrated.
And you consciously eat.
It's a bit like what we weresaying about you consciously
(24:29):
yawning.
Conscious eating is just simplybecoming aware of what you're
eating.
Yeah.
So looking at your food, yeah,looking at your food, tasting
your food, saying thank you forthank you for this.
If you're gonna have attitude,if you're gonna have a special,
yeah, if you're gonna have a,really make sure that you taste
(24:49):
it.
You know what did that tastelike?
You know, sometimes I see myhusband he'll just scoff his
food and I said did you likethat?
I don't know what do you mean?
You don't know.
You know, be more conscious ofit.
And then when he started, hedid this diet once because his
blood pressure went too high andhe had to lose weight.
Then he suddenly became reallyconscious of what he was eating
(25:18):
and that actually helped him.
Now he's more conscious of it.
Like if he has I don't know apeanut, whatever, I said enjoy
it.
Yeah, what are you laughing at?
Peanut, because it's whole food.
A lot of us we just eat withoutrealizing it.
You're just putting things inyour mouth.
You might be watching TV onyour phone yes, yes, you're not
actually looking, you'rescrolling.
While you're eating, you'rethinking, okay, this is
nourishing me, I'm grateful forthis food.
(25:40):
Isn't it lovely to be able tohave this nice meal, or whatever
, or you know.
But just you can just taste it.
Yeah, just taste it.
Take an opportunity to actuallytaste what you're eating and
that is what that's a whole.
You know, philosophy aroundconscious eating is that we've
stopped consciously eating.
Nowadays we eat while in someform of trance and we're not
(26:06):
actually enjoying it one or evenrealizing, like what you were
saying, the quantity or whatwe're doing with it.
You know, we don't even know ifwe're full or if we're not full
half the time because we'reeating so fast that we don't
even think oh, we just eatbecause the time says it's time
to eat.
Are we really hungry or have wejust been programmed to say, oh
(26:28):
, you know, I realize how muchI'm programmed Like five o'clock
I'll suddenly go and say, oh, Ifancy a cup of tea, I want a
cup of tea, because just beingso programmed to think, oh, I'll
have a cup of tea, and I justrandomly look and of course it's
five o'clock.
Of course it's like the English.
You know the programming it'sfive o'clock and it's tea time.
(26:53):
Yeah, come on, how programmedhave I got stress?
I always want tea, a cup of tea, me too.
It's because it's like ah, it'salso because it's something you
have to drink a bit slowly.
Yes, it's like you have to takea moment, don't you?
You do, not only to prepare it,but also to drink it also.
We don't want a cup of tea now.
(27:14):
Yeah, also prioritize your sleep.
So go to sleep at a regulartime.
Yeah, create up at a time, tryand create a bedtime ritual,
like what violetta was sayingwith you know the yawn.
Yeah, but turn off your device.
Yes, absolutely.
Read a book or just don't doanything.
I know, go and do some crochetor knitting, yeah, yeah, turn,
(27:39):
try and turn off the devices.
Something nice, yeah, somethingcalming, even if it is on the
screen, but it's somethingthat's going to calm you,
because I know it's easy to sayturn off screens, don't binge
something that you're going towant to stay up until three
o'clock in the morning.
No, I've done that before.
(27:59):
Bad, bad, bad idea.
I don't do that anymore now.
Try and stay to a regular.
Do you know what I've starteddoing?
Even if I'm halfway through afilm, I started turning off.
If I, if I feel myself yawningor feel that, yes, towards my
bedtime, because there's nopoint watching it, I think I'll
watch it tomorrow.
What is your bedtime now?
11, 11, oh, it's more or lessmy bedtime as well now.
(28:20):
Oh, surprise, surprise, no, butnow I try and say like 11, yeah
, and then it's the, because Iget up at 6.30, so I think
that's 6.30.
Yeah, it's quite early, but Ilike to have the time before I
have to leave the house.
Yes, because that's somethingelse, that for me it's a stress
relief.
(28:40):
Yeah, knowing that.
Yeah, and I have to be able tohave breakfast.
Yes, yeah, do my little rituals.
I want at least 30 minutes forbreakfast, yeah, yeah, yeah, do
my little rituals.
I want at least 30 minutes forbreakfast.
Yeah, yeah, at least.
I mean, it sounds a lot really,because I don't even eat that
much, but just to be able tojust sit down and and I like to
look outside when I havebreakfast, I've got lucky.
(29:02):
I'm lucky because I've got theum, the kitchen door is a window
so I can see into the gardenand that I find that very
relaxing.
Even like now, my husband sitsin front of me so he blocks the
view.
So I'll move away.
And I'm always thinking is hegoing to notice that I'm just
moving?
He never does notice.
No, he's like, no, he's notmindful.
(29:24):
The same way he doesn't.
He's a different one, he's adarling, but he's different.
Yeah, he just doesn't realizeit, but I, for me, that's like
important to be able to lookoutside.
That's important, that's animportant point.
And to know to become aware.
You know yourself and know whatrelaxes you and what makes you
(29:45):
feel good.
Yes, so, and then go and dothose things, yeah, and you know
, find time to do those.
You know, allocate time forthem if you know that you are
somebody that might.
You know you like breakfast andyou want to be able to have the
time.
Don't make it rushed.
Why are you making it hard onyourself?
You know, begin to understandthat.
(30:06):
Yeah, I do actually like to sitdown and you know, sit my
coffee slowly.
Whatever you're drinking, do it.
You know, allocate that spaceand time for yourself, because
that will, in the end, build upand, you know, help you so much
it starts your day.
Well, yeah, I'm thinking.
When the children were young, Iused to get up an hour earlier
(30:27):
on purpose, exactly, just to beable to have breakfast and
organise everything calmlybefore they work out.
Yeah, me too, definitely.
So just know yourself and knowwhat you need, and then you know
you might think, yeah, but Icould have had an extra hour of
sleep.
But maybe try and go to bedearlier, or just, I don't know,
organise yourself, because Ithink organisation and
(30:47):
discipline in daily routinesreally does help if you're
feeling anxious or stressed, youknow to have that so much.
You know the daily habits, theroutines that keep so much it
can definitely help.
Yeah, it's that grounding, it'slike what you say, just simple
little things, habits,discipline that that repeat
(31:09):
themselves daily.
Yeah, tied in is putting yourkeys in one place, this in the
other place.
Knowing you where your thingsare can keep you calm as well,
because that can also createanxiety if you you can't, you
know you're losing stuff.
And also, you know, don't,don't forget to talk it out.
You know, share it, yeah, talkit out, share it with each other
(31:31):
, share it with a friend, atherapist, a journal.
Yeah, because you'll find thateverybody's the same.
In the end, they all feel thesame, don't they?
They do A lot of people arefeeling exactly the way that you
are, yeah, and so if you share,if you talk, if you discuss it,
you know, sometimes it'ssurprising you can just say gosh
, I'm, I'm just feeling, youknow, nervous.
(31:52):
Today, when I was feelinganxious, I felt as if I couldn't
see properly.
I mean, I wear glasses, but Ifelt the glasses weren't working
, you know.
And so I shared that with mydaughter when I was on a call to
her, and she said mum, I feelthe same when I, when I get
anxious or nervous, I can't seeeither.
And I said, really, that's soweird.
And she goes yeah, becauseyou're feeling, you know, you're
(32:13):
overwhelmed, you're feelinganxious.
So just, you know, take amoment, calm down.
And just the fact that she saidthat to me, that made me feel
so much calmer and I thought,okay, and then I went for a nice
walk and I, you know, I didsomething for myself and I felt
a lot better and you found thatyour vision returned perfectly.
Yeah, it was fine, it was thesame as it was before, because
(32:35):
it's not perfect, but it was thesame as it was before it was
fine.
So what I'm saying is we workourselves up into these days,
but when we share it with otherpeople, we share our problems
and we find other people havethe same thing and it's okay.
Yes, yes, you feel calmer,don't you?
You do feel calmer and I think,if you remember sort of like to
feel to practice gratitude, youknow that's another little
(32:59):
habit, self-discipline, that'sanother one that's gonna
definitely help you throughoutyour day.
Just say, oh well, I'm grateful, I've got this and I'm grateful
for that, and you know there'sso many things in the end that
we are grateful for that.
I think what you're looking atmeans no, it's true, yeah.
(33:20):
And to say we're grateful thatthe sun comes up tomorrow
morning, oh yeah, definitely.
You know tomorrow's another dayand the sun will shine, or it
won't shine, but it'll be therebehind the clouds or whatever.
Anyway, let us know what youthink and we'd love to hear from
you.
Come and give us a comment anda like on youtube, subscribe to
(33:41):
our channel and you can alsotext us wherever you get your
podcasts.
You can send us a text.
Yes, absolutely directly underyour.
We'll be very happy to answeryou.
We'll be very happy to hearfrom you.
Lots of love and smiles fromthe english sisters.
Bye.
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