June 4, 2025 • 28 mins
We delve into the habits that shape our lives and reveal our true selves. Habits are repetitive actions or thoughts that can make or break us, reflecting our beliefs about ourselves and impacting how we navigate the world.
• Conscious habits like daily water intake and walking create a sense of empowerment
• Habits reveal our comfort zones and can limit growth when we become set in our ways
• Many habits serve as unconscious coping mechanisms for stress, fear, and overwhelm
• Neural pathways strengthen with repetition, making habits easier to maintain but harder to break
• Our true priorities are exposed through habits, not through what we claim to value
• Anxious thinking is a habit that can be transformed through mindfulness
• Awareness of unhelpful habits is the first step to changing them
We are therapists and we're here to help you. Get in touch with us on Instagram or wherever you listen to our podcast. We're happy to chat or you can book a session with us.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm asking your true habits and what they reveal
about you?
Yeah, and why do they matter?
Why does it matter if we sortof consciously become aware of
our habits?
Yeah, what are habits?
Why?
What are habits?
What are habits?
Habits are something we dohabitually, yes, without really
(00:22):
being conscious of them at all.
Most of the time, they're justrepetitive actions that we take
or repetitive thoughts that wethink, and they have an ability
to actually make or break us.
Make or break us, yeah, becauseconscious habits, habits that
(00:44):
we're totally aware of, that aregoing to help us.
They actually make us feelempowered.
Well, like the 10 000 step aday thing.
Well, yeah, because exactlythat has become my habit, really
.
Yeah, that's that off.
Yes, tick it off.
I mean, I, I, that was supposedto be my habit, but I haven't
quite got around to perfectingit.
(01:05):
But I am much more conscious ofhow many steps I do take and I
try and do it.
So that's what we're going to betalking about in this week's
episode of Get Real with theEnglish Sisters Mind health and
anxiety.
Come and watch us on YouTubetoo, where we have the video
version and the podcast version,and listen wherever you get
(01:29):
your podcasts, and please dosend us a text or comment.
Come and see us on instagram.
We really we would love if youwould make that a habit.
Yes, and we are therapists, sowe are very happy to be able to
help you.
So if you want to chat with usor just send us a message or
book a session, or book asession, yes, but if you just
(01:49):
want a chat, I mean you know,you can just write to us and
it's completely free of charge.
So there's no worries there.
No worries, no worries at all.
We're happy to help you.
So, yeah, so what we were saying, that becoming aware of our
habits gives us a power toactually choose differently, and
(02:10):
, and every small intentionalchange sends a message to our
brain, doesn't?
It has become a habit of the 10000 steps, and I'm very
grateful for it, because beforeI used to think I wasn't
sedentary until this happened,because I used to think I move
around a lot, but like in thewrong way, yeah, yeah, whereas
now I make an effort to go for awalk or play golf or do
(02:32):
something which will get methose steps, or go on the
treadmill, and you actually get10,000 every day.
Yeah, more really, wow, yeah,yeah, I forgot about that.
I hit my fitness levels everyday or double or quadruple the.
I've only put 30 minutes in tomake it easy for myself.
Yeah, I do that with the like amovement.
(02:52):
It always says, oh, you've donereally well with movement.
I mean, yeah, anyway, I'm goingto get down to that more now,
now that I've heard about it,yeah, even further, I'm going to
do it more.
So, yes, I think that's why theycreate empowerment, because
they're conscious habits andthey become, once you become so
(03:13):
used to doing your 10,000 stepsthat you're not bothered about
it anymore.
It's like every morning, drinka glass of water, like I do that
now.
Every morning, I drink a largeglass of water and I'll put some
lemon juice in it.
That's become a conscious habitand I'll miss it if I don't do
(03:33):
it.
But I'm, you know, I'm fullyaware that I'm doing it and it's
something I'm doing for myhealth and to create that sets
you up for a healthy day.
Of course it does well, itkeeps me hydrated and then it's
a healthy.
You know it's a healthy habit.
Yeah, it's a healthy habit.
Exactly Because habits they can.
Habits can be healthy orunhealthy.
Exactly so you want to have ahealthy habit.
(03:54):
I mean, habits always reflectwhat our beliefs are about as
well, don't they?
Well, I wouldn't have thoughtso, but apparently they do.
Well, the small repetitiveactions that we take every day
are often rooted in what webelieve about ourselves and the
world.
For example, if you avoidsocial situations a lot, that
(04:16):
might reflect that you have abelief that you're not good
enough to be there, for example,and that could fuel you know,
you could be fueling socialanxiety, because you might find
that you're always avoidingthese kind of things and and
that's a habit that can you knowshow what you believe in
yourself, what you believe aboutyourself.
(04:38):
Yeah, well, exactly, yeah, whatyou believe about yourself.
That's that's.
That's a tricky one.
You have to do.
You'd have to.
How would you break that habit?
You'd have to.
You have to do.
You'd have to.
How would you break that habit?
You'd have to make a consciouseffort.
You'd have to take a consciouseffort and make you know, like
what you were saying before, to,since you become aware of that
habit and now you know thatyou're often doing oh, no, no, I
(04:59):
don't know.
Thanks, I'm not going there, oryou're avoiding certain
situations.
You can take a more, you know,may have a good look at it and
decide that you've been moreproactive about it.
Yeah, and say I will go.
You can force yourself to go tothese things.
Well, not, I mean well, yeah,like make like force yourself to
(05:21):
say look, sometimes this is anegative habit, it's impacting
my life negatively.
Yes, yes, I am going tooverride this habit now, like
making a conscious effort to say, no, I will go, even if it's
only for 20 minutes, I'll showmy face, well done.
Or I'll go into the kitchen andstay by the kettle or whatever.
Exactly that's what I wasmeaning by social situations.
(05:44):
Situations.
It doesn't necessarily meangoing to a party.
It just means, oh, all thecolleagues are over there by the
coffee machine and I normallydon't do that.
I go off and I go somewhereelse or I sit in somewhere else.
So no, I'll make a consciouseffort of going there.
Why aren't I doing this?
Why aren't I joining the group?
Is it because I have a beliefthat I've got nothing valid to
(06:08):
say?
Or you have to analyze whyyou're doing.
Obviously, if you say I'm notgoing there because I don't like
any of them and they and theyhave a horrible, boring
conversation, then, of course,that's a different situation.
What we're saying here is thathabits can reveal certain things
that if you're one of thesepeople, you might realize yes,
(06:28):
that's what I do, yeah, and I doit because I have that feeling
that I'm not good enough to jointhat particular group where I
think, if you take a good look,you are good enough.
You're just the same as all ofthem.
Every single other person inthat group is has the same kind
of insecurities or very similar,even though they don't appear
(06:50):
to have them.
They might be more confidentabout one thing when we first
started going to the gym andthen everyone would gather
outside smoking yes, exactly,and we would always feel left
out because we didn't smoke andwe would feel as if we were like
imposing if we went outside aswell.
And I had a chat with them, yes, but yeah, because we realized
(07:12):
that if we didn't go outsideeven though we didn't smoke, no,
we would miss out on all thesenice conversations with people
and socializing and socializingyeah, I do remember that.
Yeah, that was distinct in theend, we going out, sort of
staying a bit further away,further away.
Smoking was less taboo in thosedays, but it was still.
Well, it was when it firststarted that in Italy you
(07:33):
weren't allowed to smoke inside,so people would go outside.
But what happened is that a lotof the interactions that you
would have inside were missing,suddenly cut off, because
everyone would just go outsideall the time and then have all
these chats and laughs.
They'd be all laughing andchatting and you think, oh,
we're missing out on that,because in the end they became
our group of friends.
But since they were alwayssmoking outside, yeah, so what?
(07:56):
What did we do?
We joined them.
We joined them.
Eventually, when we realized it,we were missing out.
Yeah, because it was a habitthey had.
They'd just go outside forsmoke and everyone would join
them and we would be left insidewithout anyone to talk to.
But at least we weren't gettingthe passive smoke.
Yeah, but I mean, it wasoutside, so you stand away.
(08:17):
You didn't have to, and theywould.
They would be discreet.
You know they blow it away andthat.
Yeah, yes, it wasn't.
We don't like smoking, so itwas a nuisance for us.
But you, you have to weigh,weigh up the benefits, what it
was more of a.
It was more of a hindrance.
Yes, to be left out of thegroup and not have any fun or
talk to anyone.
(08:37):
Yes, it was.
It was indeed.
Yeah, you have to weigh thebenefits against the, you know,
see what outweighs it, if itoutweighs one, outweighs the
other or not.
Yeah, because habits can exposeyour comfort zones, can't they?
You know, definitely exposethem.
Because they do.
(08:57):
You want to stay in the samecomfort zone.
You don't want to do anything.
So like, for instance, if yourfriend wants to travel, or your
partner and you're used to beingat home all the time in a
homebody, you might say, oh, I'mnot bothered, yeah, yeah, but
then you miss out on a wholeload of things.
Yeah, because they want to keepyou in your familiar territory,
don't they Doing?
Repeating that same habit, I wasthinking like I didn't want to
(09:19):
go to India because of all themonkeys out there.
What do you mean monkeys?
I mean they're not all.
There's a lot of monkeys in thestreets, aren't there?
Well, I mean I've been manytimes and I just remember the
beauty of the place.
You do remember the beauty, butI was thinking, if I was there
in that corner, you're themonkey.
(09:41):
I don't know about the monkeys,I don't want to get attacked by
a monkey, oh, come on.
No, yes, in the temples andthings like that, yes, but you
don't.
I mean, come on.
If you go into the city, youknow you're fine, there's
monkeys not very many they.
They mostly hang out in these.
You know old temples and things.
(10:03):
There are a few, obviously, youdon't.
You know you be a little bitmore careful.
You take the precautions, don'tyou?
You have to be careful withyour phone, because they can
light the phone as well.
Now they want to steal yourfood in your phone, the food
they've always wanted to steal.
I remember that, you know it'slike.
But I mean, yeah, you have to becareful, but is that really
gonna stop you?
(10:23):
That's like a joke.
Is it gonna stop you fromvisiting?
Well, it would put me onbeautiful country of india.
Put me off.
I'd have to fight against that.
You'd have to fight becauseit's not familiar for you to
have monkeys.
Yeah, you would think, no, youknow, you know, I don't want to
go there.
I mean, I used to go for work,so now, basically, I would think
(10:43):
, well, I'd have to pay for myown ticket.
It'd be out familiar for me aswell.
I wouldn't want to go thereeither.
But that's not good, is it?
No, it's definitely not good.
No, that's why we have to fightagainst these kind of things.
The habits, yeah, just, oh, easythings.
You know, you become more andmore used to your comfort zone
(11:07):
and less, because it's veryenriching in the end, like what
you said, if you just take theprecautions not to go where
there's nothing, you just puteverything away and you make
sure you keep like your backpack, you don't leave it on the back
, you put it on the front whereyou can hold it, you just cross
your arms or something.
I'm sure they're not going tobe that dramatic.
I mean, it's like, obviously,if you have, you're eating an
(11:27):
ice cream or you've got asandwich banana, yeah, you've
got.
You know you're actually eatingsomething or you've got they.
They're playful, aren't they?
So they'll come and I think Iwould squish.
Yeah, I think most of us wouldprobably scream, especially
knowing us.
We'd probably definitely scream, but I don't think that's going
(11:48):
to be, you know, a major issue.
But this is one of theridiculous examples of the
stupid thing I'm saying yes, I'mjust being a bit fickle, you
are being fickle, I'm being abit of a what's it called?
But just being a bit funnySilly, yeah, a bit silly, but
it's a laugh.
The reasons just being a bitfunny silly?
Yeah, it's silly, but it's alot, it's.
(12:08):
It's um, the reasons it's likewhy don't you want to go to
egypt again?
Ah, because last time we went toegypt we got ill with the uh
because bug, the bug, yeah, thewhat's it called the egyptian
bug or something.
It's like a joke.
You get this severe diarrheaand and you don't think as well,
it's fine, I didn't actuallyget that.
Oh, you know, your daughter gotthe high fever, didn't actually
get that.
Oh, you know, your daughter gotthe high fever, didn't she?
Yeah, it puts you off, but thenit's so beautiful.
(12:30):
So you've got to sort of andI've got those memories to
treasure, but I wouldn't do itagain.
Yeah, but I was just talking tomy brother-in-law yesterday and
he said, oh, I've just comeback and it's absolutely amazing
.
But do you remember we went andwe did that scuba diving?
Yeah, beautiful that was.
But now I would be frightenedto do that now, because I know
(12:51):
the danger.
This is turning to a comedypodcast.
You know the dangers, yeah, butwe were quite safe.
We were before the barrier.
I mean, we were just sc?
We weren't.
I mean, we were just scubadiving.
People think we're down therewith our big no, but we were
over the barrier reef.
No, no, no, we were just beforethe barrier reef.
(13:12):
We did not go beyond.
We went into the deep sea.
We did.
It was deep sea, it was deepocean.
Wasn't there somebody with us,though?
A husband, no one that canprotect you, and the kids are
the jellyfish.
They started following us, gosh,now that I see these videos
maybe because there's so manyvideos around of animals
(13:34):
attacking people, like yesterdayI watched one of the this seal
pulled a little girl that shewas just on the on the pier just
sitting there, and a seal cameup and pulled her into the sea.
What for?
Just to play?
To play, yeah, play forwhatever.
And the father immediately wentand jumped in and got her out.
God, what kind of videos areyou watching?
I see these gorgeous videos.
(13:55):
Yeah, that's wise your son,because the other day I saw a
beautiful video of a dolphinsaving a man or something you
know.
Come on, it's the opposite of adolphin saving a man or
something you know.
Come on, it's perspective,isn't it you're watching?
Yeah, your son is obviouslyfeeling a bit anxious now and
he's showing you all thesevideos I don't know what he's
doing, but anyway trying to makeme anxious, yeah, in the end.
(14:17):
But what habits do is theyexpose your comfort zone, so you
but you can become aware ofthem.
You can know, right, I'mbecoming very happy to generic.
Is that what?
It's set in my way?
Yeah, very set in my ways now,and I'm always doing the same
things.
That's why I don't want to dothat.
You know, if you're aware of itto myself, I me too, but then I,
(14:39):
then I, then I, then I say,yeah, like if you, if you're
used to doing something all thetime with someone else or doing
something together, then youdon't want to do it on your own,
maybe, no, no, I'm used togoing to places with you.
Yeah, yeah, if I have to go onmy own, I don't like it as much.
It causes more anxiety.
(15:00):
Yeah, you say, oh, no, I haveto go there.
I'm used to being part of ateam.
Yes, yeah, when you're used toit, is it that?
Yes, obviously, you obviouslyhave to fight against that.
I think you have to make aconscious effort saying no, okay
, but I, I'm used to this, thisis a habit for me to go with
somebody, but today I'm going tohave to do this alone and I'm
(15:20):
going to sort of you know,become aware of the habit and
you're gonna have to break it.
Yeah, you know, sometimes,because it's you can't always
keep it, can you?
They reveal habits, do revealhow we cope in life in general.
Yeah, whether it's scrollingendlessly or emotional eating,
you know.
Or constant multitasking, manyhabits are unconscious, you know
(15:40):
.
Or constant multitasking, manyhabits are unconscious.
You know coping mechanisms.
That's what they are for stress, fear and overwhelm.
So, yes, they do indeed reflecthow we cope.
We know that if we're justscrolling like that, we might be
feeling overwhelmed orsomething.
We're trying to find adistraction.
(16:02):
Or we suddenly say, oh, I wantto eat you know this all these
comfort foods.
Why?
I think, if we become aware ofthem, we can know more, can't we
?
So, yeah, if you, if you wantto eat lots of comfort foods you
might think I'm feeling a bitanxious now and you go for a
walk instead, yes, and you canbreak that habit, can't you?
Or you can break the habit ofhaving lots of comfort foods in
(16:24):
the house if they're bad for you, because if it's a plate of
pasta, I'm not going to sayanything.
Yeah, no, no, no, yeah.
Or a banana no, banana again.
Yeah, because bananas are likemy comfort food.
Yeah, me too.
Actually, they've got mymagnesium.
It's funny because yesterday,on the way to work, I actually
said to my husband I haven't hada banana for about two days.
(16:45):
Should we stop off and buy somebananas?
And he was like, yeah, I missthe bananas.
See, that's why we don't wantto go anywhere near monkeys,
because you're possessive aboutyour bananas.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do.
What other thing habits do isthey show our priorities, don't
(17:06):
they?
They definitely, even ifthey're unintentional.
You know we have our prioritiesand we know, you know, like we
might say, mental health isimportant, but if our daily
habits don't support that restand reflection or nourishment,
we may be living out ofalignment without realizing it.
(17:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think loads of usdo that.
Yeah, so we say one thing, butwe're not congruent.
Yes, so our habits actually doreveal what we prioritize.
We might be saying, yes, it'sreally important for me, it's
really important for me to dothat, but then, do we really do
it?
That's a good one.
(17:46):
Yeah, we don't do it.
Do we, I do, do you?
Well, they do.
Yeah.
Well, they reveal ourpriorities on how I cope.
I think I do.
I think yes.
Why do you say they don't foryou?
Because I think a lot of thetimes we, we, we say we have
(18:08):
like habits that, um, that areproductive or that, but then we
actually do the opposite, likewe procrastinate a lot, we do
things that, but we say, oh no,we, you know we're really high
function.
Is that what you say?
Is that what you say?
You're really high-functioning?
(18:29):
Is that what you say?
Is that what you say, you'rereally high-functioning?
And then you do the oppositeand you'll go off and not do it
right.
Then you might go and sit onthe settee and watch Netflix or
something.
I just think it's important tobecome aware of.
It is what I'm saying, becausea lot of the times they're not
in line with that.
So we might think we're reallyhealthy, like when I used to
think I was really healthy andfit and my daughter said you're
(18:49):
sedentary.
I got the fry of my lifebecause I said I'm not sedentary
.
I'm always doing gardening orwalking around or doing, so I'm
putting the fire on, uh, working.
I'm always up and down doingthings and she said, yeah, but
that's not being an active,that's not an active lifestyle.
You're not even doing 10,000steps a day.
Yeah, I remember when she saidthat and I said what 10,000
(19:10):
steps?
That's a joke, that's like ajoke.
Yeah, that's so many, and yetnow it's your habit is to
prioritise that.
You do prioritise it.
But what I mean is a lot of thetimes we make this movie in our
head about how our lives areand then when you actually go
and analyse and you look throughyour day, you see it's all the
opposite.
It's the opposite of what youthink of yourself.
(19:33):
Yeah, and you know that theyactually have it's to actually
impact how our brain is wired.
No, because the more you repeatyeah, the more you repeat
something you know.
Neuroscience tells us this, thatyou know, habits strengthen
certain neural pathways.
(19:55):
Well, if you become moreconfident, if you become more
active, you're going to be like.
You know you're going to feelbetter about yourself, aren't
you?
You're going to be moreconfident.
You're going to, it's going to.
You know you're going to feelbetter about yourself, aren't
you?
You're going to be moreconfident.
You're going to, it's going to,or it could also be.
You know, the more you engagein anxious thinking or avoidance
behaviors, yeah, the more yourbrain will just naturally
(20:16):
default to.
That's why I say we have toforce ourselves against this
kind of thing.
We have to cut that neurowiring and say you know, our
brains will want to go and dowhat we are used to, what our
habits tell us.
That's why we want to have acup of tea at five o'clock or a
coffee in the morning.
Absolutely, we have to say iscoffee good for us?
(20:36):
I think it is, so I'll have one.
But if it wasn't good, likewhen I had high blood pressure
and I wasn't not on my meds, I Isaid I can't coffee out.
Yeah, so you have to think, youknow, is it good for me?
Is it okay to have it?
Is it productive for me, yes orno?
Yeah, I don't think.
I think a lot of us have becomeused to having like you can
(21:01):
become used to having theseanxious thoughts and you can
sort of feel comfort in them andit's odd to say that.
But you don't, like, you'realmost scared of just thinking
well, what, what would I do if Ididn't have those?
Your brain goes if, yeah, whatwould happen if I didn't always
have to feel anxious?
(21:21):
What would happen if I didn'talways expect the worst to
happen to me?
What would happen if I can justbe calm?
I think a lot of the times withanxiety is because our
imaginations are too vivid, sowe develop scenarios that don't
even come true.
Yes, yes, so true.
Make up these little films inour mind about something that's
(21:43):
going to go wrong, when itprobably never will exactly.
And that's a habit, isn't it?
And that's one that the more wedo, the more we get better at
doing.
So.
We've got to become aware of itand think and become aware of
the same thing, up of a scenariothat's positive yeah, like
you're doing the 10,000 steps orbecoming mindful and thinking
(22:04):
okay, I'm going to break thathabit of anxious thinking just
for today, and I'm going tostart thinking no, that's not
necessarily going to happen.
This is what's going to happen.
I'm going to have a good day,it's not all going to be bad.
It makes you feel amazing whenyou start talking to yourself
like that.
Yes, one of the things that youknow, internal dialogue, yeah,
(22:25):
habit of how you talk toyourself.
Yeah, what you focus on, howyou respond, how you respond to
all the mistakes that you makeas well.
The feedback you can get fromthem?
Um, instead of you can, becausebecause the thing about
anxieties you can either feed itor you can soothe it and it or
(22:48):
embrace it or well done, yeah,clever clogs here you can
embrace it and understand it andjust say, I that's actually
better, you know, because you'reembracing it and saying, look,
I know why me too.
I know why I'm feeling likethis.
Thank you, brain, for making mebecome aware that there is a
(23:10):
potential situation that I haveto, you know, navigate, navigate
.
She's giving me all the wordshere, so I have to navigate
today and I, I will navigate it,but I want to navigate it
feeling strong and empowered,without having to feel weak and
anxious.
(23:30):
And that's how I want tonavigate my day feeling strong,
exactly, and in control, notjust thinking my mind is going
to go off and worry aboutmonkeys coming to steal my
bananas yeah, bananas or myphone.
You know, like what you weresaying before, because the brain
is a bit like a wild monkey.
(23:50):
Yeah, you know, it can go offand be.
It's called the monkey brain,isn't it?
They do actually.
Yeah, I've heard of the monkeybrain.
Yeah, it's like never calm,always, you know, jumping around
I think that's a mick to thatwhen you're not, you just like
you fight the fight or fight allthe time.
(24:13):
Yes, so if you start observingyour internal dialogue, you can
start shaping it, can't you?
That's what we do, that's what,how we learn to stay calmer.
Well, that's what really helpedher.
Yeah, so much.
I mean, it was.
It was a light bulb moment,wasn't it?
Well, also yeah, definitely itbecomes is when you become
mindful of how your brain worksand how you're, what you, how
(24:36):
you're thinking, how you, howyou know you suddenly can have
thought, you can likedisassociate and look at
yourself and think well, is thatrealistic?
Is it true?
No, it's not.
I'm not.
You know, I'm coming from aplace of fear instead of a place
of calm, and and it's uh, it'svery calming and soothing really
.
Yeah, you can ask yourself isthis just a limiting belief?
(24:57):
Once I learned about limitingbeliefs that they were just
beliefs that actually aren'treal.
They're just things based onthings that have happened to you
in your life.
Somebody said a grade that yougot at school something, and
it's not really real at all andyou just suddenly believe that
(25:19):
about yourself.
Yeah, it compounds over time.
So you can change that.
You can change a lot of thingsand you can make your habits
help you and be successful.
You know you can be, you canhave success with the habits
that you create.
Well, yes, because they canalso sort of like I mean, I'm
(25:45):
laughing here, but it's quite nobecause habits can mask also
some of the more serious, moreserious problems.
Well, yeah, it's nothing funnyreally, but they can mask.
No, I'm just thinking of themonkeys.
Still, that's what I'm thinkingof.
Sorry, yeah, yeah, but they can.
They can mask serious problemslike, if you don't, if you have
(26:07):
a fear of, say, traveling, youcan have that.
That fear is not just one fear,it's generalized into other
areas.
Exactly, it's like sneaky, it'ssneaky, yes, so have a fear of
lifts, for example.
Or you might have a fear ofdoing new things.
So there might be this deeperreason.
(26:28):
There's, it's a wound.
Why are you behaving in acertain way?
Why do I have this habit?
If you become curious aboutyourself, you can start
unmasking it and thinking ohyeah, I'm going to the root of
the problem.
Yeah, maybe I'm a perfectionist, maybe that's because I have a
tremendous fear of failure.
Where did this fear of failingcome along?
(26:51):
Maybe I can become moreconscious about that.
Instead of having always fearof failure, maybe I can embrace
failure and just say I'm goingto learn Because there is no
failure, only feedback.
Maybe I don't always have to bethis perfectionist.
You know, becoming aware canhelp you get to the root of the
issue.
Becoming aware can get you toget to the root of the issue.
(27:15):
Yeah, it can help you actuallytrace yourself back to that root
and become aware of it andthink, no, want to break that
habit.
It's not, you know, it'smasking something that I'm.
It's not really me.
Yeah, it's not me.
You can break free of it, yeah,free, and make sure that your
habits the ones you have observeyour habits.
(27:38):
Maybe observe one of yourhabits today and think is it a
helpful habit?
Is it working for me?
Do I like this habit?
Are you, does it make you feelsafe?
Does it make you feel incontrol?
You know, and and if you havethat habit of thinking these
things, do I, am I safe, am I incontrol?
(27:58):
Then you can make the habit ofthinking to yourself I can
change.
Yeah, and that's it.
Beautiful things, change is abeautiful I mean, it's something
to embrace.
Really, change is as good as arest.
Yes, exactly that's what ourmother would always say a change
is as good as a rest.
So give your brain a change,exactly.
(28:20):
Do something to unmask thesehabits that you know, the ones
that you want to keep.
You keep them because they'regood for you and you become
aware of them.
But lots of those habits thatyou're doing unconsciously, you
can decide to change them.
Yes, and you have the power tochange them.
You do have the power.
We are therapists and we'rehere to help you.
(28:41):
So do get in touch, and lots oflove and smiles from the
English sisters.
Bye.
I'm asking your true habits and what they reveal
about you?
Yeah, and why do they matter?
Why does it matter if we sortof consciously become aware of
our habits?
Yeah, what are habits?
Why?
What are habits?
What are habits?
Habits are something we dohabitually, yes, without really
(00:22):
being conscious of them at all.
Most of the time, they're justrepetitive actions that we take
or repetitive thoughts that wethink, and they have an ability
to actually make or break us.
Make or break us, yeah, becauseconscious habits, habits that
(00:44):
we're totally aware of, that aregoing to help us.
They actually make us feelempowered.
Well, like the 10 000 step aday thing.
Well, yeah, because exactlythat has become my habit, really
.
Yeah, that's that off.
Yes, tick it off.
I mean, I, I, that was supposedto be my habit, but I haven't
quite got around to perfectingit.
(01:05):
But I am much more conscious ofhow many steps I do take and I
try and do it.
So that's what we're going to betalking about in this week's
episode of Get Real with theEnglish Sisters Mind health and
anxiety.
Come and watch us on YouTubetoo, where we have the video
version and the podcast version,and listen wherever you get
(01:29):
your podcasts, and please dosend us a text or comment.
Come and see us on instagram.
We really we would love if youwould make that a habit.
Yes, and we are therapists, sowe are very happy to be able to
help you.
So if you want to chat with usor just send us a message or
book a session, or book asession, yes, but if you just
(01:49):
want a chat, I mean you know,you can just write to us and
it's completely free of charge.
So there's no worries there.
No worries, no worries at all.
We're happy to help you.
So, yeah, so what we were saying, that becoming aware of our
habits gives us a power toactually choose differently, and
(02:10):
, and every small intentionalchange sends a message to our
brain, doesn't?
It has become a habit of the 10000 steps, and I'm very
grateful for it, because beforeI used to think I wasn't
sedentary until this happened,because I used to think I move
around a lot, but like in thewrong way, yeah, yeah, whereas
now I make an effort to go for awalk or play golf or do
(02:32):
something which will get methose steps, or go on the
treadmill, and you actually get10,000 every day.
Yeah, more really, wow, yeah,yeah, I forgot about that.
I hit my fitness levels everyday or double or quadruple the.
I've only put 30 minutes in tomake it easy for myself.
Yeah, I do that with the like amovement.
(02:52):
It always says, oh, you've donereally well with movement.
I mean, yeah, anyway, I'm goingto get down to that more now,
now that I've heard about it,yeah, even further, I'm going to
do it more.
So, yes, I think that's why theycreate empowerment, because
they're conscious habits andthey become, once you become so
(03:13):
used to doing your 10,000 stepsthat you're not bothered about
it anymore.
It's like every morning, drinka glass of water, like I do that
now.
Every morning, I drink a largeglass of water and I'll put some
lemon juice in it.
That's become a conscious habitand I'll miss it if I don't do
(03:33):
it.
But I'm, you know, I'm fullyaware that I'm doing it and it's
something I'm doing for myhealth and to create that sets
you up for a healthy day.
Of course it does well, itkeeps me hydrated and then it's
a healthy.
You know it's a healthy habit.
Yeah, it's a healthy habit.
Exactly Because habits they can.
Habits can be healthy orunhealthy.
Exactly so you want to have ahealthy habit.
(03:54):
I mean, habits always reflectwhat our beliefs are about as
well, don't they?
Well, I wouldn't have thoughtso, but apparently they do.
Well, the small repetitiveactions that we take every day
are often rooted in what webelieve about ourselves and the
world.
For example, if you avoidsocial situations a lot, that
(04:16):
might reflect that you have abelief that you're not good
enough to be there, for example,and that could fuel you know,
you could be fueling socialanxiety, because you might find
that you're always avoidingthese kind of things and and
that's a habit that can you knowshow what you believe in
yourself, what you believe aboutyourself.
(04:38):
Yeah, well, exactly, yeah, whatyou believe about yourself.
That's that's.
That's a tricky one.
You have to do.
You'd have to.
How would you break that habit?
You'd have to.
You have to do.
You'd have to.
How would you break that habit?
You'd have to make a consciouseffort.
You'd have to take a consciouseffort and make you know, like
what you were saying before, to,since you become aware of that
habit and now you know thatyou're often doing oh, no, no, I
(04:59):
don't know.
Thanks, I'm not going there, oryou're avoiding certain
situations.
You can take a more, you know,may have a good look at it and
decide that you've been moreproactive about it.
Yeah, and say I will go.
You can force yourself to go tothese things.
Well, not, I mean well, yeah,like make like force yourself to
(05:21):
say look, sometimes this is anegative habit, it's impacting
my life negatively.
Yes, yes, I am going tooverride this habit now, like
making a conscious effort to say, no, I will go, even if it's
only for 20 minutes, I'll showmy face, well done.
Or I'll go into the kitchen andstay by the kettle or whatever.
Exactly that's what I wasmeaning by social situations.
(05:44):
Situations.
It doesn't necessarily meangoing to a party.
It just means, oh, all thecolleagues are over there by the
coffee machine and I normallydon't do that.
I go off and I go somewhereelse or I sit in somewhere else.
So no, I'll make a consciouseffort of going there.
Why aren't I doing this?
Why aren't I joining the group?
Is it because I have a beliefthat I've got nothing valid to
(06:08):
say?
Or you have to analyze whyyou're doing.
Obviously, if you say I'm notgoing there because I don't like
any of them and they and theyhave a horrible, boring
conversation, then, of course,that's a different situation.
What we're saying here is thathabits can reveal certain things
that if you're one of thesepeople, you might realize yes,
(06:28):
that's what I do, yeah, and I doit because I have that feeling
that I'm not good enough to jointhat particular group where I
think, if you take a good look,you are good enough.
You're just the same as all ofthem.
Every single other person inthat group is has the same kind
of insecurities or very similar,even though they don't appear
(06:50):
to have them.
They might be more confidentabout one thing when we first
started going to the gym andthen everyone would gather
outside smoking yes, exactly,and we would always feel left
out because we didn't smoke andwe would feel as if we were like
imposing if we went outside aswell.
And I had a chat with them, yes, but yeah, because we realized
(07:12):
that if we didn't go outsideeven though we didn't smoke, no,
we would miss out on all thesenice conversations with people
and socializing and socializingyeah, I do remember that.
Yeah, that was distinct in theend, we going out, sort of
staying a bit further away,further away.
Smoking was less taboo in thosedays, but it was still.
Well, it was when it firststarted that in Italy you
(07:33):
weren't allowed to smoke inside,so people would go outside.
But what happened is that a lotof the interactions that you
would have inside were missing,suddenly cut off, because
everyone would just go outsideall the time and then have all
these chats and laughs.
They'd be all laughing andchatting and you think, oh,
we're missing out on that,because in the end they became
our group of friends.
But since they were alwayssmoking outside, yeah, so what?
(07:56):
What did we do?
We joined them.
We joined them.
Eventually, when we realized it,we were missing out.
Yeah, because it was a habitthey had.
They'd just go outside forsmoke and everyone would join
them and we would be left insidewithout anyone to talk to.
But at least we weren't gettingthe passive smoke.
Yeah, but I mean, it wasoutside, so you stand away.
(08:17):
You didn't have to, and theywould.
They would be discreet.
You know they blow it away andthat.
Yeah, yes, it wasn't.
We don't like smoking, so itwas a nuisance for us.
But you, you have to weigh,weigh up the benefits, what it
was more of a.
It was more of a hindrance.
Yes, to be left out of thegroup and not have any fun or
talk to anyone.
(08:37):
Yes, it was.
It was indeed.
Yeah, you have to weigh thebenefits against the, you know,
see what outweighs it, if itoutweighs one, outweighs the
other or not.
Yeah, because habits can exposeyour comfort zones, can't they?
You know, definitely exposethem.
Because they do.
(08:57):
You want to stay in the samecomfort zone.
You don't want to do anything.
So like, for instance, if yourfriend wants to travel, or your
partner and you're used to beingat home all the time in a
homebody, you might say, oh, I'mnot bothered, yeah, yeah, but
then you miss out on a wholeload of things.
Yeah, because they want to keepyou in your familiar territory,
don't they Doing?
Repeating that same habit, I wasthinking like I didn't want to
(09:19):
go to India because of all themonkeys out there.
What do you mean monkeys?
I mean they're not all.
There's a lot of monkeys in thestreets, aren't there?
Well, I mean I've been manytimes and I just remember the
beauty of the place.
You do remember the beauty, butI was thinking, if I was there
in that corner, you're themonkey.
(09:41):
I don't know about the monkeys,I don't want to get attacked by
a monkey, oh, come on.
No, yes, in the temples andthings like that, yes, but you
don't.
I mean, come on.
If you go into the city, youknow you're fine, there's
monkeys not very many they.
They mostly hang out in these.
You know old temples and things.
(10:03):
There are a few, obviously, youdon't.
You know you be a little bitmore careful.
You take the precautions, don'tyou?
You have to be careful withyour phone, because they can
light the phone as well.
Now they want to steal yourfood in your phone, the food
they've always wanted to steal.
I remember that, you know it'slike.
But I mean, yeah, you have to becareful, but is that really
gonna stop you?
(10:23):
That's like a joke.
Is it gonna stop you fromvisiting?
Well, it would put me onbeautiful country of india.
Put me off.
I'd have to fight against that.
You'd have to fight becauseit's not familiar for you to
have monkeys.
Yeah, you would think, no, youknow, you know, I don't want to
go there.
I mean, I used to go for work,so now, basically, I would think
(10:43):
, well, I'd have to pay for myown ticket.
It'd be out familiar for me aswell.
I wouldn't want to go thereeither.
But that's not good, is it?
No, it's definitely not good.
No, that's why we have to fightagainst these kind of things.
The habits, yeah, just, oh, easythings.
You know, you become more andmore used to your comfort zone
(11:07):
and less, because it's veryenriching in the end, like what
you said, if you just take theprecautions not to go where
there's nothing, you just puteverything away and you make
sure you keep like your backpack, you don't leave it on the back
, you put it on the front whereyou can hold it, you just cross
your arms or something.
I'm sure they're not going tobe that dramatic.
I mean, it's like, obviously,if you have, you're eating an
(11:27):
ice cream or you've got asandwich banana, yeah, you've
got.
You know you're actually eatingsomething or you've got they.
They're playful, aren't they?
So they'll come and I think Iwould squish.
Yeah, I think most of us wouldprobably scream, especially
knowing us.
We'd probably definitely scream, but I don't think that's going
(11:48):
to be, you know, a major issue.
But this is one of theridiculous examples of the
stupid thing I'm saying yes, I'mjust being a bit fickle, you
are being fickle, I'm being abit of a what's it called?
But just being a bit funnySilly, yeah, a bit silly, but
it's a laugh.
The reasons just being a bitfunny silly?
Yeah, it's silly, but it's alot, it's.
(12:08):
It's um, the reasons it's likewhy don't you want to go to
egypt again?
Ah, because last time we went toegypt we got ill with the uh
because bug, the bug, yeah, thewhat's it called the egyptian
bug or something.
It's like a joke.
You get this severe diarrheaand and you don't think as well,
it's fine, I didn't actuallyget that.
Oh, you know, your daughter gotthe high fever, didn't actually
get that.
Oh, you know, your daughter gotthe high fever, didn't she?
Yeah, it puts you off, but thenit's so beautiful.
(12:30):
So you've got to sort of andI've got those memories to
treasure, but I wouldn't do itagain.
Yeah, but I was just talking tomy brother-in-law yesterday and
he said, oh, I've just comeback and it's absolutely amazing
.
But do you remember we went andwe did that scuba diving?
Yeah, beautiful that was.
But now I would be frightenedto do that now, because I know
(12:51):
the danger.
This is turning to a comedypodcast.
You know the dangers, yeah, butwe were quite safe.
We were before the barrier.
I mean, we were just sc?
We weren't.
I mean, we were just scubadiving.
People think we're down therewith our big no, but we were
over the barrier reef.
No, no, no, we were just beforethe barrier reef.
(13:12):
We did not go beyond.
We went into the deep sea.
We did.
It was deep sea, it was deepocean.
Wasn't there somebody with us,though?
A husband, no one that canprotect you, and the kids are
the jellyfish.
They started following us, gosh,now that I see these videos
maybe because there's so manyvideos around of animals
(13:34):
attacking people, like yesterdayI watched one of the this seal
pulled a little girl that shewas just on the on the pier just
sitting there, and a seal cameup and pulled her into the sea.
What for?
Just to play?
To play, yeah, play forwhatever.
And the father immediately wentand jumped in and got her out.
God, what kind of videos areyou watching?
I see these gorgeous videos.
(13:55):
Yeah, that's wise your son,because the other day I saw a
beautiful video of a dolphinsaving a man or something you
know.
Come on, it's the opposite of adolphin saving a man or
something you know.
Come on, it's perspective,isn't it you're watching?
Yeah, your son is obviouslyfeeling a bit anxious now and
he's showing you all thesevideos I don't know what he's
doing, but anyway trying to makeme anxious, yeah, in the end.
(14:17):
But what habits do is theyexpose your comfort zone, so you
but you can become aware ofthem.
You can know, right, I'mbecoming very happy to generic.
Is that what?
It's set in my way?
Yeah, very set in my ways now,and I'm always doing the same
things.
That's why I don't want to dothat.
You know, if you're aware of itto myself, I me too, but then I,
(14:39):
then I, then I, then I say,yeah, like if you, if you're
used to doing something all thetime with someone else or doing
something together, then youdon't want to do it on your own,
maybe, no, no, I'm used togoing to places with you.
Yeah, yeah, if I have to go onmy own, I don't like it as much.
It causes more anxiety.
(15:00):
Yeah, you say, oh, no, I haveto go there.
I'm used to being part of ateam.
Yes, yeah, when you're used toit, is it that?
Yes, obviously, you obviouslyhave to fight against that.
I think you have to make aconscious effort saying no, okay
, but I, I'm used to this, thisis a habit for me to go with
somebody, but today I'm going tohave to do this alone and I'm
(15:20):
going to sort of you know,become aware of the habit and
you're gonna have to break it.
Yeah, you know, sometimes,because it's you can't always
keep it, can you?
They reveal habits, do revealhow we cope in life in general.
Yeah, whether it's scrollingendlessly or emotional eating,
you know.
Or constant multitasking, manyhabits are unconscious, you know
(15:40):
.
Or constant multitasking, manyhabits are unconscious.
You know coping mechanisms.
That's what they are for stress, fear and overwhelm.
So, yes, they do indeed reflecthow we cope.
We know that if we're justscrolling like that, we might be
feeling overwhelmed orsomething.
We're trying to find adistraction.
(16:02):
Or we suddenly say, oh, I wantto eat you know this all these
comfort foods.
Why?
I think, if we become aware ofthem, we can know more, can't we
?
So, yeah, if you, if you wantto eat lots of comfort foods you
might think I'm feeling a bitanxious now and you go for a
walk instead, yes, and you canbreak that habit, can't you?
Or you can break the habit ofhaving lots of comfort foods in
(16:24):
the house if they're bad for you, because if it's a plate of
pasta, I'm not going to sayanything.
Yeah, no, no, no, yeah.
Or a banana no, banana again.
Yeah, because bananas are likemy comfort food.
Yeah, me too.
Actually, they've got mymagnesium.
It's funny because yesterday,on the way to work, I actually
said to my husband I haven't hada banana for about two days.
(16:45):
Should we stop off and buy somebananas?
And he was like, yeah, I missthe bananas.
See, that's why we don't wantto go anywhere near monkeys,
because you're possessive aboutyour bananas.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, they do.
What other thing habits do isthey show our priorities, don't
(17:06):
they?
They definitely, even ifthey're unintentional.
You know we have our prioritiesand we know, you know, like we
might say, mental health isimportant, but if our daily
habits don't support that restand reflection or nourishment,
we may be living out ofalignment without realizing it.
(17:26):
Yeah, yeah, I think loads of usdo that.
Yeah, so we say one thing, butwe're not congruent.
Yes, so our habits actually doreveal what we prioritize.
We might be saying, yes, it'sreally important for me, it's
really important for me to dothat, but then, do we really do
it?
That's a good one.
(17:46):
Yeah, we don't do it.
Do we, I do, do you?
Well, they do.
Yeah.
Well, they reveal ourpriorities on how I cope.
I think I do.
I think yes.
Why do you say they don't foryou?
Because I think a lot of thetimes we, we, we say we have
(18:08):
like habits that, um, that areproductive or that, but then we
actually do the opposite, likewe procrastinate a lot, we do
things that, but we say, oh no,we, you know we're really high
function.
Is that what you say?
Is that what you say?
You're really high-functioning?
(18:29):
Is that what you say?
Is that what you say, you'rereally high-functioning?
And then you do the oppositeand you'll go off and not do it
right.
Then you might go and sit onthe settee and watch Netflix or
something.
I just think it's important tobecome aware of.
It is what I'm saying, becausea lot of the times they're not
in line with that.
So we might think we're reallyhealthy, like when I used to
think I was really healthy andfit and my daughter said you're
(18:49):
sedentary.
I got the fry of my lifebecause I said I'm not sedentary
.
I'm always doing gardening orwalking around or doing, so I'm
putting the fire on, uh, working.
I'm always up and down doingthings and she said, yeah, but
that's not being an active,that's not an active lifestyle.
You're not even doing 10,000steps a day.
Yeah, I remember when she saidthat and I said what 10,000
(19:10):
steps?
That's a joke, that's like ajoke.
Yeah, that's so many, and yetnow it's your habit is to
prioritise that.
You do prioritise it.
But what I mean is a lot of thetimes we make this movie in our
head about how our lives areand then when you actually go
and analyse and you look throughyour day, you see it's all the
opposite.
It's the opposite of what youthink of yourself.
(19:33):
Yeah, and you know that theyactually have it's to actually
impact how our brain is wired.
No, because the more you repeatyeah, the more you repeat
something you know.
Neuroscience tells us this, thatyou know, habits strengthen
certain neural pathways.
(19:55):
Well, if you become moreconfident, if you become more
active, you're going to be like.
You know you're going to feelbetter about yourself, aren't
you?
You're going to be moreconfident.
You're going to, it's going to.
You know you're going to feelbetter about yourself, aren't
you?
You're going to be moreconfident.
You're going to, it's going to,or it could also be.
You know, the more you engagein anxious thinking or avoidance
behaviors, yeah, the more yourbrain will just naturally
(20:16):
default to.
That's why I say we have toforce ourselves against this
kind of thing.
We have to cut that neurowiring and say you know, our
brains will want to go and dowhat we are used to, what our
habits tell us.
That's why we want to have acup of tea at five o'clock or a
coffee in the morning.
Absolutely, we have to say iscoffee good for us?
(20:36):
I think it is, so I'll have one.
But if it wasn't good, likewhen I had high blood pressure
and I wasn't not on my meds, I Isaid I can't coffee out.
Yeah, so you have to think, youknow, is it good for me?
Is it okay to have it?
Is it productive for me, yes orno?
Yeah, I don't think.
I think a lot of us have becomeused to having like you can
(21:01):
become used to having theseanxious thoughts and you can
sort of feel comfort in them andit's odd to say that.
But you don't, like, you'realmost scared of just thinking
well, what, what would I do if Ididn't have those?
Your brain goes if, yeah, whatwould happen if I didn't always
have to feel anxious?
(21:21):
What would happen if I didn'talways expect the worst to
happen to me?
What would happen if I can justbe calm?
I think a lot of the times withanxiety is because our
imaginations are too vivid, sowe develop scenarios that don't
even come true.
Yes, yes, so true.
Make up these little films inour mind about something that's
(21:43):
going to go wrong, when itprobably never will exactly.
And that's a habit, isn't it?
And that's one that the more wedo, the more we get better at
doing.
So.
We've got to become aware of itand think and become aware of
the same thing, up of a scenariothat's positive yeah, like
you're doing the 10,000 steps orbecoming mindful and thinking
(22:04):
okay, I'm going to break thathabit of anxious thinking just
for today, and I'm going tostart thinking no, that's not
necessarily going to happen.
This is what's going to happen.
I'm going to have a good day,it's not all going to be bad.
It makes you feel amazing whenyou start talking to yourself
like that.
Yes, one of the things that youknow, internal dialogue, yeah,
(22:25):
habit of how you talk toyourself.
Yeah, what you focus on, howyou respond, how you respond to
all the mistakes that you makeas well.
The feedback you can get fromthem?
Um, instead of you can, becausebecause the thing about
anxieties you can either feed itor you can soothe it and it or
(22:48):
embrace it or well done, yeah,clever clogs here you can
embrace it and understand it andjust say, I that's actually
better, you know, because you'reembracing it and saying, look,
I know why me too.
I know why I'm feeling likethis.
Thank you, brain, for making mebecome aware that there is a
(23:10):
potential situation that I haveto, you know, navigate, navigate
.
She's giving me all the wordshere, so I have to navigate
today and I, I will navigate it,but I want to navigate it
feeling strong and empowered,without having to feel weak and
anxious.
(23:30):
And that's how I want tonavigate my day feeling strong,
exactly, and in control, notjust thinking my mind is going
to go off and worry aboutmonkeys coming to steal my
bananas yeah, bananas or myphone.
You know, like what you weresaying before, because the brain
is a bit like a wild monkey.
(23:50):
Yeah, you know, it can go offand be.
It's called the monkey brain,isn't it?
They do actually.
Yeah, I've heard of the monkeybrain.
Yeah, it's like never calm,always, you know, jumping around
I think that's a mick to thatwhen you're not, you just like
you fight the fight or fight allthe time.
(24:13):
Yes, so if you start observingyour internal dialogue, you can
start shaping it, can't you?
That's what we do, that's what,how we learn to stay calmer.
Well, that's what really helpedher.
Yeah, so much.
I mean, it was.
It was a light bulb moment,wasn't it?
Well, also yeah, definitely itbecomes is when you become
mindful of how your brain worksand how you're, what you, how
(24:36):
you're thinking, how you, howyou know you suddenly can have
thought, you can likedisassociate and look at
yourself and think well, is thatrealistic?
Is it true?
No, it's not.
I'm not.
You know, I'm coming from aplace of fear instead of a place
of calm, and and it's uh, it'svery calming and soothing really
.
Yeah, you can ask yourself isthis just a limiting belief?
(24:57):
Once I learned about limitingbeliefs that they were just
beliefs that actually aren'treal.
They're just things based onthings that have happened to you
in your life.
Somebody said a grade that yougot at school something, and
it's not really real at all andyou just suddenly believe that
(25:19):
about yourself.
Yeah, it compounds over time.
So you can change that.
You can change a lot of thingsand you can make your habits
help you and be successful.
You know you can be, you canhave success with the habits
that you create.
Well, yes, because they canalso sort of like I mean, I'm
(25:45):
laughing here, but it's quite nobecause habits can mask also
some of the more serious, moreserious problems.
Well, yeah, it's nothing funnyreally, but they can mask.
No, I'm just thinking of themonkeys.
Still, that's what I'm thinkingof.
Sorry, yeah, yeah, but they can.
They can mask serious problemslike, if you don't, if you have
(26:07):
a fear of, say, traveling, youcan have that.
That fear is not just one fear,it's generalized into other
areas.
Exactly, it's like sneaky, it'ssneaky, yes, so have a fear of
lifts, for example.
Or you might have a fear ofdoing new things.
So there might be this deeperreason.
(26:28):
There's, it's a wound.
Why are you behaving in acertain way?
Why do I have this habit?
If you become curious aboutyourself, you can start
unmasking it and thinking ohyeah, I'm going to the root of
the problem.
Yeah, maybe I'm a perfectionist, maybe that's because I have a
tremendous fear of failure.
Where did this fear of failingcome along?
(26:51):
Maybe I can become moreconscious about that.
Instead of having always fearof failure, maybe I can embrace
failure and just say I'm goingto learn Because there is no
failure, only feedback.
Maybe I don't always have to bethis perfectionist.
You know, becoming aware canhelp you get to the root of the
issue.
Becoming aware can get you toget to the root of the issue.
(27:15):
Yeah, it can help you actuallytrace yourself back to that root
and become aware of it andthink, no, want to break that
habit.
It's not, you know, it'smasking something that I'm.
It's not really me.
Yeah, it's not me.
You can break free of it, yeah,free, and make sure that your
habits the ones you have observeyour habits.
(27:38):
Maybe observe one of yourhabits today and think is it a
helpful habit?
Is it working for me?
Do I like this habit?
Are you, does it make you feelsafe?
Does it make you feel incontrol?
You know, and and if you havethat habit of thinking these
things, do I, am I safe, am I incontrol?
(27:58):
Then you can make the habit ofthinking to yourself I can
change.
Yeah, and that's it.
Beautiful things, change is abeautiful I mean, it's something
to embrace.
Really, change is as good as arest.
Yes, exactly that's what ourmother would always say a change
is as good as a rest.
So give your brain a change,exactly.
(28:20):
Do something to unmask thesehabits that you know, the ones
that you want to keep.
You keep them because they'regood for you and you become
aware of them.
But lots of those habits thatyou're doing unconsciously, you
can decide to change them.
Yes, and you have the power tochange them.
You do have the power.
We are therapists and we'rehere to help you.
(28:41):
So do get in touch, and lots oflove and smiles from the
English sisters.
Bye.
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