August 31, 2023 • 28 mins
Experience the inspiring journey of Robin Arender, a brave woman who faced a lifetime of low self-esteem, alcohol addiction, and abusive relationships, only to find hope and transformation in Jesus. Robin's encouraging story is one of resilience and determination, a testament to the power of faith and the grace of forgiveness. Tune in as she shares how her struggles transformed her life.
We delve into Robin's wisdom on overcoming life's most brutal battles with grace from above. Hear how recognizing personal pain, spreading love to others, and believing in miracles were vital in her spiritual healing. Robin's journey from self-loathing to self-love, her fight against alcoholism, and the redemption she finds are nothing short of inspiring. Be captivated by Robin's story of hope, recovery, and her unwavering faith in Jesus, and discover the life-changing power of hope and forgiveness.
- If you would like to be a guest and share your story, click this link: https://thepromoter.org/story/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The following program is sponsored by Ron Meyers
Ministries.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's time now to get the hell out of your life.
A weekly broadcast with realpeople sharing real struggles
and offering real hope.
Today's show will encourage,inspire and empower you to face
life's challenges with a boldconfidence and renewed hope.
Now let's join our host, ronMeyers.
The Provider.
Ron Meyers (00:29):
Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you
today.
If I was to ask you, what doyou love about yourself?
What would you tell me?
My guest today was asked thatvery same question a few years
ago and she burst out in tearsand said lady, I don't even like
(00:50):
myself.
Sometimes that low self-esteem,self-image, will destroy our
hopes.
Our dreams lead us to drugs, toalcoholism, divorce, and
today's guest, robin Arunder,went through all of that.
(01:11):
But then she met hope, and hope, named Jesus, changed her life.
So I encourage you to invest afew minutes to listen to Robin's
story.
It is encouraging, empoweringand very inspirational.
(01:32):
Robin, I'm so glad you aregoing to share your story.
So, robin Arunder, what is yourstory?
Robin Arender (01:43):
Oh wow.
I grew up in a small town, inSimpson County.
I always felt different aboutmyself.
I couldn't put a nail on myhead what it was, but I just
didn't feel like I belongedanywhere.
I tried so hard to make friendsand I just felt like I was
(02:06):
different from all of them.
I don't know what it was.
I grew up in church.
I was in the youth groupchildren's.
My mom always took us to church.
She was an angel.
I could remember riding tochurch and she'd say devil, get
behind me, devil.
And I didn't understand whatshe meant.
Until later on in life I saw myfirst relationship.
(02:30):
My first marriage was abuse ofrelationship.
It was physical, it was mental.
In that relationship Ideveloped an eating disorder.
I felt that I needed to look acertain way, act a certain way.
I never had self-esteem formyself.
I went to treatment for that.
(02:52):
I got out of the relationship.
Then I met my kids' dads, noeland Nick, and we stayed together
for 13 years.
It was a pretty good marriage.
We went to church, we werethere every time the doors
opened.
Soccer games, softball games.
It was all about the kids.
But I realized later that I wasusing them to fill my void in
(03:16):
life, making everything aboutthem and not dealing with my own
issues.
My kids are precious to me.
They love me.
Today they have been there forme In 13 years.
Later we got divorced.
Within five years I had my momdie, my men, my daughter die.
I lost a little girl, lani Gray.
(03:37):
She lived for 20 minutes.
Let me just go back a littlebit.
Before that marriage I foundout that I was an alcoholic.
I was drinking way too much,but during this marriage there
was no drinking at all.
But after we got divorced Ithought, you know, I can have
just that one drink With all theimportant people in my life
(04:01):
that have passed away.
You know I looked to them foradvice, for comfort, and now I
just felt kind of on my own.
We were divorced there I turnedaway from the church that we
went into.
I had my kids and I just Iturned to the bottle to ease my
comfort and to bring some kindof comfort and pain.
Ron Meyers (04:26):
Well, that had to be a vicious cycle of life,
because every day you wake upthere's more pain.
But to numb the pain, you takea drink and you go on and on.
How long did this last?
Robin Arender (04:38):
And it was to numb the pain.
I was not a partier or anythinglike that, it was strictly to
numb the pain.
It lasted on and off forprobably 10 more years.
I got in another domesticviolence relationship and we
lived together and I was soashamed and embarrassed of that
(05:00):
relationship because, you know,I put my kids, the ones that I
love the most, I put them to thewayside.
I just I didn't know how tohandle life and I went about it
in a bad way instead of askingfor help.
You know, I always tried to beperfect and I always tried to
(05:20):
put on a persona on the outsideand have a smile, but deep down
inside I was just.
I hated myself, I was lonely onthe inside.
You know, I was just.
I was hurting.
I was hurting.
Ron Meyers (05:36):
I read in part of your story that you lived I
think this was on your thirdrelationship, my last one Kind
of like on a little desertisland or something.
It wasn't a desert island, butyou were isolated.
There was only one way in andone way out.
Tell us about that.
Robin Arender (05:53):
This last and final guy that I was with.
I met him on a dating site, youknow, and I think, well, I know
, yeah, I just didn't want to bealone.
I didn't trust the decisionsthat I made.
I needed somebody to tell mewhat to do and I didn't want to
be alone.
So I, you know, I said, well, Iguess I'll be miserable rather
(06:15):
than being alone.
I just didn't have the courageand the faith that I needed,
always knew I was a Christian,always knew that God was there
for me and I always knew that hecould take the burden away from
me.
I just could not make that,that step into giving it all
over to him.
I don't know if it was acontrol thing or or what it was,
(06:36):
but I just couldn't give myselfcompletely to God and do what I
needed to do.
Yes, we were isolated, and ifhe didn't want to go out, we
didn't go out, go to town oranything like that, and I put on
a good front with my friendsand family.
Ron Meyers (06:53):
But one day you had somebody come pick you up in a
boat because your life was aboutto change, wasn't it?
Robin Arender (07:00):
Yeah, I, I got sick and tired of being sick and
tired.
I knew that I did not want tolive the rest of my life this
way.
I knew that there had to besomething more.
And I had been talking with thewomen at the um Gov Coast
Women's Center for nonviolenceand you know they said Robin,
(07:21):
when you're ready, come on, comeon.
So I called him and I said I'mcoming.
I had somebody come pick me upin a boat.
I packed my suitcase of what Icould pack.
I got in my old raggedy car andI made it to the shelter and I
can't tell you the good thatthey do for other people.
(07:42):
Ms Patricia, there they arewonderful.
They loved me until I couldlove myself.
They welcomed me with open armsand the main thing about it is
I felt safe.
I felt really safe.
Ron Meyers (07:56):
You said something that's just really a powerful
statement.
They loved you until you couldlove yourself.
So you really had this low selfimage and, as you said a little
bit ago, no self esteem.
All of a sudden, life wasstarting to change.
You were starting to feel goodabout yourself.
(08:17):
You knew that God had createdyou with a purpose and a destiny
.
Robin Arender (08:22):
It didn't happen overnight.
There was so many things.
I kept on drinking.
They got me a grant for my ownapartment and things were
looking up.
I had found me a job.
You know I've always had reallygood jobs, decent jobs, and you
know I was just thankful to getwhatever job I could.
It was so humbling to me and Igot involved in alcoholics
(08:44):
synonymous.
The first three steps are Ican't, he can, I'll let him.
I got into therapy.
The therapy was the biggestmotivator for me.
When I walked in that room, sheasked me.
She said what do you love aboutyourself?
And I promise you, tears justcame streaming down my eyes
because I was like lady, I don'teven like myself.
(09:07):
I don't know how you couldthink I love myself and I do
want to say this January 2, 2019.
This was before I went to thetherapist.
I had ended up in the hospital,real sick from drinking, and I
had seen what it did to myfamily, and that was when I got
(09:28):
out of the hospital.
I got on my knees and I saidGod, please take this from me,
please take this desire, pleasehelp me.
You know, it's like they say,just having faith of a mustard
seed.
That is all it took and my lifestarted to change.
And getting back in the therapy, you know I was thinking how in
(09:51):
the world is therapy going tomake me feel better?
You know it's not a quick fix,it's not medicine.
You know that I can just takeand start feeling better.
But she made me do things likewrite post-it notes with, put
goals and all this kind of stuff.
And you know, when we firststarted out I said, well, I did
it, but it didn't mean anythingto me.
(10:12):
And she said keep doing it.
And I did and I promise youthat therapy and giving it all
to God it, it filled that voidin that hole.
Ron Meyers (10:24):
End listeners.
She is a glowing young lady andright after the break you're
going to hear what she's doingnow in her testimony of God's
faithfulness, mercy and, mostimportant, of forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
You're listening to get the hell out of your life
with your host, ron Myers.
Real stories, real strugglesand real hope.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
We would like to express our gratitude to coffee
news for their support of thisprogram.
Are you tired of scrollingthrough the same old news feeds
every morning?
Then switch things up withcoffee news.
Our publication is filled withinteresting stories, brain
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(11:10):
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So, whether you're sipping yourmorning coffee at your favorite
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.
Start your day off right withcoffee news at
readcoffeenewsonlinecom.
What's your story.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
We're looking for stories of hope and overcoming
life struggles with God's grace.
Your story validates God's love, mercy, restoration and
forgiveness.
We want to help you share yourstory with the world.
Visit our website,thepromoterorg, and click on the
Share your Story link andsubmit your story.
Your testimony of God's amazinggrace will change a person's
(11:51):
destiny for eternity.
Speaker 6 (11:55):
I'm all out of faith.
This is how I feel.
I'm cold and I am changed,lying naked on the floor.
Ron Meyers (12:05):
Illusion never changed Into something real and
wide awake and I can see.
The perfect sky is tallListeners, welcome back, and the
studio is with me today isRobin Arinder.
Arinder, I said right, we havepronunciation classes here.
Robin Arender (12:25):
And Robin was in abusive relationship.
Ron Meyers (12:31):
She was a drinker, she had everything going against
her, but then she fell to herknees.
And now this segment she'sgoing to tell you what God has
been doing in her life and alsoto give some encouragement to
others out there that justhaven't failed to their knees
yet.
(12:52):
So, robin, life is starting toturn around.
You have you and your children,and so tell us the what life is
like now.
How is the life for RobinArinder?
Robin Arender (13:04):
You know, I've learned so much about myself and
I you know my I was in allthose domestic violence
relationships and I took timeoff.
I said, you know, I've got towork on myself and learn to love
myself before I will be goodfor somebody else.
And um, and that's what I did.
And now when the next guy comesalong, God willing, you know,
(13:29):
he'll be lucky.
Ron Meyers (13:30):
He'll be very lucky.
I love it.
I love it and listen in yourstory.
I'm going to share some thingsthat you shared and then you can
elaborate on them.
You said there are numerousthings I have learned along the
way and so many tools I can useNow.
I think this is great wisdomthat you can share with others.
One of them is hurt people hurt.
(13:52):
What do?
Robin Arender (13:53):
you mean, I mean, you know, I know in all my
domestic violence relationshipsyou know they were narcissists,
they were hurting themselves.
You know, I know at times whenI'm, when I hurt, I lash out at
other people that that didn'teven deserve it.
You know we hurt and we justwant to make everybody else
(14:15):
around us miserable and hurt too.
Ron Meyers (14:18):
You also write God is still in the miracle business
.
Robin Arender (14:22):
Absolutely.
Look if he can, if he canchange my heart the way he did.
And I see miracles every daythat are only described by God
things, only described by Godthings.
You know, I I can't emphasizeenough what he, that void that
(14:42):
he filled in my heart, that wasmissing forever, forever, and
only him could do it.
Ron Meyers (14:50):
Yeah, only him, I agree.
Another one you wrote I canonly keep what I can give away.
Robin Arender (14:58):
What I'm saying by that is, you know, if, if I
want to keep myself isspiritually fit, then I have to
give that away.
I have to be good to otherpeople.
I have to consider other peoplebesides myself.
I have to promote grace.
Sometimes that's hard with somepeople when they don't act the
(15:20):
way I want them to act, but Ihave to say you know, God gave
me an imaginable grace, and whoam I not to give grace to other
people?
Ron Meyers (15:31):
You know that's so well put.
I call it the boomerang effect.
You know what we give comesback to us.
Robin Arender (15:38):
I can guarantee you in this works every time.
If I'm having a bad day, if Istep out of myself and do
something for somebody else,that bad, that bad day gets
better instantly.
Ron Meyers (15:51):
Here's one I love Don't stop before the miracle
happens.
Robin Arender (15:58):
That's one of the sands that we say in alcoholics
anonymous.
I'm involved that, that too,you know.
My first sponsor told me, aslong as you're breathing, that's
there's a chance.
And I hold that with me.
You know, when I first gotsober and first started getting
in recovery, you know, if I madeit through the day, that was in
a consciousness and that wasgood for that day.
(16:20):
It was progress, not perfection.
Ron Meyers (16:25):
Progress, not perfection.
I like that.
That's good.
You are definitely a wiserperson than you were 10 or 15
years ago, aren't you?
Robin Arender (16:33):
No, absolutely.
But it's nothing that I did, Ipromise.
I just had to become willing.
Ron Meyers (16:41):
One of the other ones you wrote.
I fall short every day on thesedescribing the things we just
talked about, but by recognizingthem I get a chance to make
things right and hopefully sharemy experience, strength and
hope with someone suffering Wow.
Robin Arender (16:59):
That's right.
Ron Meyers (17:00):
So somebody out there right now that may be
hurting, suffering in an abusiverelationship, you can talk to
them now one on one.
Robin, what would you tell them?
Robin Arender (17:12):
I promise you things get better.
There is a way out.
It is not hopeless.
God will turn that into hopeful.
Whatever your situation is, Ipromise you ask for help.
You know I never asked for helpand until I did ask for help
(17:33):
because I learned that when Iget those feelings out there
they lose that power over me.
They don't control me anymorewhen I talk to somebody else
about what's going on in my life.
Ron Meyers (17:47):
So is life good.
Are you happy?
Robin Arender (17:49):
I am happy.
Ron Meyers (17:51):
How's your?
Robin Arender (17:51):
Yeah, I am happy.
Ron Meyers (17:53):
How's your children?
Robin Arender (17:55):
Oh gosh.
You know they have been throughso much and you know I had a
lot of guilt and shame.
It took me a while to get overthat guilt and shame because
they're the most importantpeople in my life and you know
I'd never thought that I wouldtreat them the way that I did.
And you know I stayed stuck inthat.
(18:16):
I stayed stuck in that guiltand shame and it was only till I
got it out and I had to forgivemyself.
You know, when they sayforgiveness is for yourself, not
the other person, that's true.
I can't afford to holdresentments.
You know I have to face it headon.
They have just.
(18:36):
They love me today.
They love me and I've told them.
I said you know you have everyreason not to love me, to hate
me, things I've done, and theysay you're supposed to love your
mama.
And you know we have such agood relationship.
Ron Meyers (18:51):
So, robin, what's the future?
What do you hope to do one daywith this new life?
Robin Arender (18:56):
You know, if I could quit work and talk about
God all day long, I would.
I just he's been that good tome and it makes me happy to talk
about God Now.
I have bad days.
I do.
I have some bad days, but thegood days far outweigh the bad
days.
Ron Meyers (19:15):
Well, I think everybody, if they're honest
with themselves.
We all have bad days, but youand I and others out there, we
know who's in control of the day, and when we say God, I need
your help, he comes in and hehelps, doesn't?
Robin Arender (19:28):
he, he does, he does.
Ron Meyers (19:30):
Wow.
Well, you know, the title ofthis show is Get the Hell Out of
your Life.
So now my question to you howdoes a person get the hell out
of their life?
Robin Arender (19:40):
They take the first day out.
They admit that.
You know there's a problem,they acknowledge it.
You know I can do anything onceI acknowledge it.
You know I have learned andit's taken many lessons to get
out of the problem and gettingin the solution, because there
is a solution to every problem.
Ron Meyers (20:00):
I sent you a copy of my story.
You did and you were telling meand I'm not doing this for any
compliments, but you said thathelped give you some courage to
share your story.
Robin Arender (20:12):
It, did it, did Y'all.
I am not a reader and when hesent me this book I was like, oh
my goodness, I'm getting and Iread it.
I read it in two days and it'shis powerful story of you know.
A lot of times he kept gettingknocked down, knocked down, but
he had that faith in God and hejust kept on moving and you know
(20:33):
he has accomplished so much andthe story inspired me that you
know, if I lost every cent today, it would still be okay, as
long as I trusted God.
Ron Meyers (20:43):
Well, you and I shared something you know the
secret to everything in lifeit's not even a secret is that
we just can't quit.
We have to have faith in God,hold onto his hand and, through
all those storms and all thosetrials and tribulations, just
keep holding on, because he'llpull us through.
You're stronger today becauseof the hell that you had in your
(21:05):
life.
You got the hell gone and now,as you said, you just want to
talk about God all the time.
Robin Arender (21:11):
Yeah, that's what he's done to me.
You know, I've learned today tobase things on facts, not
feelings.
You know, when something arises, I have to get in the facts
because those feelings will getin the way all the time.
Ron Meyers (21:24):
Well, before we go, would you pray for us, for the
listeners out there.
Robin Arender (21:30):
Sure, I'd be glad to Our Heavenly Father we just
come to you today, lord, and Ijust pray for anybody out there
that's struggling.
Lord, you already know theirneeds.
You already know who they are.
You've got your arms justwaiting for them, lord.
I just pray that they'll justmake that simple step and come
(21:51):
to you.
I pray for all the people whoare hurting.
Lord, I know what it feels like, I know what it hurts, and I
know what it feels like to be atthe very bottom and to just
feel like the worst person inthe world.
I pray that, lord, that youwill just lift them up, and I
just thank you for doing thatalready.
Lord, in your precious name, wepray Amen.
Ron Meyers (22:14):
Amen, Robin.
Hey, listen, if somebody wantsto send you a thumbs up or just
a message, they heard you Areyou on social media.
Robin Arender (22:22):
I am on Facebook.
Ron Meyers (22:23):
Okay.
Robin Arender (22:23):
Robin Orender.
Ron Meyers (22:25):
And how do you spell that last name?
A-r-e-n-d-e-r, r-n-d-r, r-n-d-r.
Well, robin, good, I thinksomebody will reach out to you.
You are a blessing and thankyou for sharing your story, and
you just got one of your prayersanswered to talk about God
through radio and podcasts thatgo all over the world.
(22:47):
So, thank you.
God is so pleased with you.
Robin Arender (22:50):
Thank you, I appreciate it.
I was a little nervous and Iprobably stuttered some words,
but that's okay, it's not aboutme.
Ron Meyers (22:58):
But you know, the tagline for this show is real
people, real stories, realstruggles and real hope, and you
just shared some real hope.
Thank you, Robin.
Robin Arender (23:07):
Thank you.
I just want to say I've hadsome great friends too.
Ron Meyers (23:11):
You want to mention them.
Robin Arender (23:12):
Go ahead, oh gosh , just some great friends that
have come into my life.
Ron Meyers (23:18):
We all need friends, don't we?
Robin Arender (23:19):
Yeah, and they're true friends.
I didn't know how to be afriend.
I had to learn how to be afriend too, and they helped me
along the way.
Ron Meyers (23:26):
Amen.
Well, God bless you and lookforward to checking in with you
again soon and we'll see what'shappening in the life of Robin
Orender.
Robin Arender (23:33):
Okay, I'm excited .
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You're listening to Get the Hell Out of your Life
with your host, ron Myers.
Real stories, real strugglesand real hope.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Has hope become a stranger in your life?
Do you feel trapped?
Are you caught in a whirlpoolof life and responsibilities
that you can't escape?
Maybe hope is gone becausesomeone robbed you of your
childhood or your youth, ormaybe it's a dream that you know
will never come true.
We can wish differently, butlife will never be painless.
(24:06):
But you're saying where can Ifind a place where there is
peace?
Peace is found only in JesusChrist, crucified and
resurrected.
Jesus is triumphant over everypain, every failure, every
heartbreak and every hope forthis life.
Jesus tells us if anyone wishesto come after me, he must deny
(24:27):
himself and take up his crossdaily and follow me.
If you would like to speak withsomeone right now about
beginning a personalrelationship with Jesus Christ,
call 888-NEED-HIM or go towwwchataboutjesuscom.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
God will be back in a moment to wrap up today's
conversation.
We want to encourage you todaywith God's promise to you.
It comes from the book ofJeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11,
for I know the plans I have foryou, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not toharm you.
Plans to give you hope and thefuture.
(25:07):
That's God's promise to you,and you choose to commit your
plans and future to Him.
Now back to Ron.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
You, you, you, you you, you, you, you, you, you,
(28:33):
you, you, you, you discuss you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(28:55):
you, you, you you.
The following program is sponsored by Ron Meyers
Ministries.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
It's time now to get the hell out of your life.
A weekly broadcast with realpeople sharing real struggles
and offering real hope.
Today's show will encourage,inspire and empower you to face
life's challenges with a boldconfidence and renewed hope.
Now let's join our host, ronMeyers.
The Provider.
Ron Meyers (00:29):
Hello, my friends, it is so good to be with you
today.
If I was to ask you, what doyou love about yourself?
What would you tell me?
My guest today was asked thatvery same question a few years
ago and she burst out in tearsand said lady, I don't even like
(00:50):
myself.
Sometimes that low self-esteem,self-image, will destroy our
hopes.
Our dreams lead us to drugs, toalcoholism, divorce, and
today's guest, robin Arunder,went through all of that.
(01:11):
But then she met hope, and hope, named Jesus, changed her life.
So I encourage you to invest afew minutes to listen to Robin's
story.
It is encouraging, empoweringand very inspirational.
(01:32):
Robin, I'm so glad you aregoing to share your story.
So, robin Arunder, what is yourstory?
Robin Arender (01:43):
Oh wow.
I grew up in a small town, inSimpson County.
I always felt different aboutmyself.
I couldn't put a nail on myhead what it was, but I just
didn't feel like I belongedanywhere.
I tried so hard to make friendsand I just felt like I was
(02:06):
different from all of them.
I don't know what it was.
I grew up in church.
I was in the youth groupchildren's.
My mom always took us to church.
She was an angel.
I could remember riding tochurch and she'd say devil, get
behind me, devil.
And I didn't understand whatshe meant.
Until later on in life I saw myfirst relationship.
(02:30):
My first marriage was abuse ofrelationship.
It was physical, it was mental.
In that relationship Ideveloped an eating disorder.
I felt that I needed to look acertain way, act a certain way.
I never had self-esteem formyself.
I went to treatment for that.
(02:52):
I got out of the relationship.
Then I met my kids' dads, noeland Nick, and we stayed together
for 13 years.
It was a pretty good marriage.
We went to church, we werethere every time the doors
opened.
Soccer games, softball games.
It was all about the kids.
But I realized later that I wasusing them to fill my void in
(03:16):
life, making everything aboutthem and not dealing with my own
issues.
My kids are precious to me.
They love me.
Today they have been there forme In 13 years.
Later we got divorced.
Within five years I had my momdie, my men, my daughter die.
I lost a little girl, lani Gray.
(03:37):
She lived for 20 minutes.
Let me just go back a littlebit.
Before that marriage I foundout that I was an alcoholic.
I was drinking way too much,but during this marriage there
was no drinking at all.
But after we got divorced Ithought, you know, I can have
just that one drink With all theimportant people in my life
(04:01):
that have passed away.
You know I looked to them foradvice, for comfort, and now I
just felt kind of on my own.
We were divorced there I turnedaway from the church that we
went into.
I had my kids and I just Iturned to the bottle to ease my
comfort and to bring some kindof comfort and pain.
Ron Meyers (04:26):
Well, that had to be a vicious cycle of life,
because every day you wake upthere's more pain.
But to numb the pain, you takea drink and you go on and on.
How long did this last?
Robin Arender (04:38):
And it was to numb the pain.
I was not a partier or anythinglike that, it was strictly to
numb the pain.
It lasted on and off forprobably 10 more years.
I got in another domesticviolence relationship and we
lived together and I was soashamed and embarrassed of that
(05:00):
relationship because, you know,I put my kids, the ones that I
love the most, I put them to thewayside.
I just I didn't know how tohandle life and I went about it
in a bad way instead of askingfor help.
You know, I always tried to beperfect and I always tried to
(05:20):
put on a persona on the outsideand have a smile, but deep down
inside I was just.
I hated myself, I was lonely onthe inside.
You know, I was just.
I was hurting.
I was hurting.
Ron Meyers (05:36):
I read in part of your story that you lived I
think this was on your thirdrelationship, my last one Kind
of like on a little desertisland or something.
It wasn't a desert island, butyou were isolated.
There was only one way in andone way out.
Tell us about that.
Robin Arender (05:53):
This last and final guy that I was with.
I met him on a dating site, youknow, and I think, well, I know
, yeah, I just didn't want to bealone.
I didn't trust the decisionsthat I made.
I needed somebody to tell mewhat to do and I didn't want to
be alone.
So I, you know, I said, well, Iguess I'll be miserable rather
(06:15):
than being alone.
I just didn't have the courageand the faith that I needed,
always knew I was a Christian,always knew that God was there
for me and I always knew that hecould take the burden away from
me.
I just could not make that,that step into giving it all
over to him.
I don't know if it was acontrol thing or or what it was,
(06:36):
but I just couldn't give myselfcompletely to God and do what I
needed to do.
Yes, we were isolated, and ifhe didn't want to go out, we
didn't go out, go to town oranything like that, and I put on
a good front with my friendsand family.
Ron Meyers (06:53):
But one day you had somebody come pick you up in a
boat because your life was aboutto change, wasn't it?
Robin Arender (07:00):
Yeah, I, I got sick and tired of being sick and
tired.
I knew that I did not want tolive the rest of my life this
way.
I knew that there had to besomething more.
And I had been talking with thewomen at the um Gov Coast
Women's Center for nonviolenceand you know they said Robin,
(07:21):
when you're ready, come on, comeon.
So I called him and I said I'mcoming.
I had somebody come pick me upin a boat.
I packed my suitcase of what Icould pack.
I got in my old raggedy car andI made it to the shelter and I
can't tell you the good thatthey do for other people.
(07:42):
Ms Patricia, there they arewonderful.
They loved me until I couldlove myself.
They welcomed me with open armsand the main thing about it is
I felt safe.
I felt really safe.
Ron Meyers (07:56):
You said something that's just really a powerful
statement.
They loved you until you couldlove yourself.
So you really had this low selfimage and, as you said a little
bit ago, no self esteem.
All of a sudden, life wasstarting to change.
You were starting to feel goodabout yourself.
(08:17):
You knew that God had createdyou with a purpose and a destiny
.
Robin Arender (08:22):
It didn't happen overnight.
There was so many things.
I kept on drinking.
They got me a grant for my ownapartment and things were
looking up.
I had found me a job.
You know I've always had reallygood jobs, decent jobs, and you
know I was just thankful to getwhatever job I could.
It was so humbling to me and Igot involved in alcoholics
(08:44):
synonymous.
The first three steps are Ican't, he can, I'll let him.
I got into therapy.
The therapy was the biggestmotivator for me.
When I walked in that room, sheasked me.
She said what do you love aboutyourself?
And I promise you, tears justcame streaming down my eyes
because I was like lady, I don'teven like myself.
(09:07):
I don't know how you couldthink I love myself and I do
want to say this January 2, 2019.
This was before I went to thetherapist.
I had ended up in the hospital,real sick from drinking, and I
had seen what it did to myfamily, and that was when I got
(09:28):
out of the hospital.
I got on my knees and I saidGod, please take this from me,
please take this desire, pleasehelp me.
You know, it's like they say,just having faith of a mustard
seed.
That is all it took and my lifestarted to change.
And getting back in the therapy, you know I was thinking how in
(09:51):
the world is therapy going tomake me feel better?
You know it's not a quick fix,it's not medicine.
You know that I can just takeand start feeling better.
But she made me do things likewrite post-it notes with, put
goals and all this kind of stuff.
And you know, when we firststarted out I said, well, I did
it, but it didn't mean anythingto me.
(10:12):
And she said keep doing it.
And I did and I promise youthat therapy and giving it all
to God it, it filled that voidin that hole.
Ron Meyers (10:24):
End listeners.
She is a glowing young lady andright after the break you're
going to hear what she's doingnow in her testimony of God's
faithfulness, mercy and, mostimportant, of forgiveness.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
You're listening to get the hell out of your life
with your host, ron Myers.
Real stories, real strugglesand real hope.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
We would like to express our gratitude to coffee
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Then switch things up withcoffee news.
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Start your day off right withcoffee news at
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What's your story.
Speaker 5 (11:26):
We're looking for stories of hope and overcoming
life struggles with God's grace.
Your story validates God's love, mercy, restoration and
forgiveness.
We want to help you share yourstory with the world.
Visit our website,thepromoterorg, and click on the
Share your Story link andsubmit your story.
Your testimony of God's amazinggrace will change a person's
(11:51):
destiny for eternity.
Speaker 6 (11:55):
I'm all out of faith.
This is how I feel.
I'm cold and I am changed,lying naked on the floor.
Ron Meyers (12:05):
Illusion never changed Into something real and
wide awake and I can see.
The perfect sky is tallListeners, welcome back, and the
studio is with me today isRobin Arinder.
Arinder, I said right, we havepronunciation classes here.
Robin Arender (12:25):
And Robin was in abusive relationship.
Ron Meyers (12:31):
She was a drinker, she had everything going against
her, but then she fell to herknees.
And now this segment she'sgoing to tell you what God has
been doing in her life and alsoto give some encouragement to
others out there that justhaven't failed to their knees
yet.
(12:52):
So, robin, life is starting toturn around.
You have you and your children,and so tell us the what life is
like now.
How is the life for RobinArinder?
Robin Arender (13:04):
You know, I've learned so much about myself and
I you know my I was in allthose domestic violence
relationships and I took timeoff.
I said, you know, I've got towork on myself and learn to love
myself before I will be goodfor somebody else.
And um, and that's what I did.
And now when the next guy comesalong, God willing, you know,
(13:29):
he'll be lucky.
Ron Meyers (13:30):
He'll be very lucky.
I love it.
I love it and listen in yourstory.
I'm going to share some thingsthat you shared and then you can
elaborate on them.
You said there are numerousthings I have learned along the
way and so many tools I can useNow.
I think this is great wisdomthat you can share with others.
One of them is hurt people hurt.
(13:52):
What do?
Robin Arender (13:53):
you mean, I mean, you know, I know in all my
domestic violence relationshipsyou know they were narcissists,
they were hurting themselves.
You know, I know at times whenI'm, when I hurt, I lash out at
other people that that didn'teven deserve it.
You know we hurt and we justwant to make everybody else
(14:15):
around us miserable and hurt too.
Ron Meyers (14:18):
You also write God is still in the miracle business
.
Robin Arender (14:22):
Absolutely.
Look if he can, if he canchange my heart the way he did.
And I see miracles every daythat are only described by God
things, only described by Godthings.
You know, I I can't emphasizeenough what he, that void that
(14:42):
he filled in my heart, that wasmissing forever, forever, and
only him could do it.
Ron Meyers (14:50):
Yeah, only him, I agree.
Another one you wrote I canonly keep what I can give away.
Robin Arender (14:58):
What I'm saying by that is, you know, if, if I
want to keep myself isspiritually fit, then I have to
give that away.
I have to be good to otherpeople.
I have to consider other peoplebesides myself.
I have to promote grace.
Sometimes that's hard with somepeople when they don't act the
(15:20):
way I want them to act, but Ihave to say you know, God gave
me an imaginable grace, and whoam I not to give grace to other
people?
Ron Meyers (15:31):
You know that's so well put.
I call it the boomerang effect.
You know what we give comesback to us.
Robin Arender (15:38):
I can guarantee you in this works every time.
If I'm having a bad day, if Istep out of myself and do
something for somebody else,that bad, that bad day gets
better instantly.
Ron Meyers (15:51):
Here's one I love Don't stop before the miracle
happens.
Robin Arender (15:58):
That's one of the sands that we say in alcoholics
anonymous.
I'm involved that, that too,you know.
My first sponsor told me, aslong as you're breathing, that's
there's a chance.
And I hold that with me.
You know, when I first gotsober and first started getting
in recovery, you know, if I madeit through the day, that was in
a consciousness and that wasgood for that day.
(16:20):
It was progress, not perfection.
Ron Meyers (16:25):
Progress, not perfection.
I like that.
That's good.
You are definitely a wiserperson than you were 10 or 15
years ago, aren't you?
Robin Arender (16:33):
No, absolutely.
But it's nothing that I did, Ipromise.
I just had to become willing.
Ron Meyers (16:41):
One of the other ones you wrote.
I fall short every day on thesedescribing the things we just
talked about, but by recognizingthem I get a chance to make
things right and hopefully sharemy experience, strength and
hope with someone suffering Wow.
Robin Arender (16:59):
That's right.
Ron Meyers (17:00):
So somebody out there right now that may be
hurting, suffering in an abusiverelationship, you can talk to
them now one on one.
Robin, what would you tell them?
Robin Arender (17:12):
I promise you things get better.
There is a way out.
It is not hopeless.
God will turn that into hopeful.
Whatever your situation is, Ipromise you ask for help.
You know I never asked for helpand until I did ask for help
(17:33):
because I learned that when Iget those feelings out there
they lose that power over me.
They don't control me anymorewhen I talk to somebody else
about what's going on in my life.
Ron Meyers (17:47):
So is life good.
Are you happy?
Robin Arender (17:49):
I am happy.
Ron Meyers (17:51):
How's your?
Robin Arender (17:51):
Yeah, I am happy.
Ron Meyers (17:53):
How's your children?
Robin Arender (17:55):
Oh gosh.
You know they have been throughso much and you know I had a
lot of guilt and shame.
It took me a while to get overthat guilt and shame because
they're the most importantpeople in my life and you know
I'd never thought that I wouldtreat them the way that I did.
And you know I stayed stuck inthat.
(18:16):
I stayed stuck in that guiltand shame and it was only till I
got it out and I had to forgivemyself.
You know, when they sayforgiveness is for yourself, not
the other person, that's true.
I can't afford to holdresentments.
You know I have to face it headon.
They have just.
(18:36):
They love me today.
They love me and I've told them.
I said you know you have everyreason not to love me, to hate
me, things I've done, and theysay you're supposed to love your
mama.
And you know we have such agood relationship.
Ron Meyers (18:51):
So, robin, what's the future?
What do you hope to do one daywith this new life?
Robin Arender (18:56):
You know, if I could quit work and talk about
God all day long, I would.
I just he's been that good tome and it makes me happy to talk
about God Now.
I have bad days.
I do.
I have some bad days, but thegood days far outweigh the bad
days.
Ron Meyers (19:15):
Well, I think everybody, if they're honest
with themselves.
We all have bad days, but youand I and others out there, we
know who's in control of the day, and when we say God, I need
your help, he comes in and hehelps, doesn't?
Robin Arender (19:28):
he, he does, he does.
Ron Meyers (19:30):
Wow.
Well, you know, the title ofthis show is Get the Hell Out of
your Life.
So now my question to you howdoes a person get the hell out
of their life?
Robin Arender (19:40):
They take the first day out.
They admit that.
You know there's a problem,they acknowledge it.
You know I can do anything onceI acknowledge it.
You know I have learned andit's taken many lessons to get
out of the problem and gettingin the solution, because there
is a solution to every problem.
Ron Meyers (20:00):
I sent you a copy of my story.
You did and you were telling meand I'm not doing this for any
compliments, but you said thathelped give you some courage to
share your story.
Robin Arender (20:12):
It, did it, did Y'all.
I am not a reader and when hesent me this book I was like, oh
my goodness, I'm getting and Iread it.
I read it in two days and it'shis powerful story of you know.
A lot of times he kept gettingknocked down, knocked down, but
he had that faith in God and hejust kept on moving and you know
(20:33):
he has accomplished so much andthe story inspired me that you
know, if I lost every cent today, it would still be okay, as
long as I trusted God.
Ron Meyers (20:43):
Well, you and I shared something you know the
secret to everything in lifeit's not even a secret is that
we just can't quit.
We have to have faith in God,hold onto his hand and, through
all those storms and all thosetrials and tribulations, just
keep holding on, because he'llpull us through.
You're stronger today becauseof the hell that you had in your
(21:05):
life.
You got the hell gone and now,as you said, you just want to
talk about God all the time.
Robin Arender (21:11):
Yeah, that's what he's done to me.
You know, I've learned today tobase things on facts, not
feelings.
You know, when something arises, I have to get in the facts
because those feelings will getin the way all the time.
Ron Meyers (21:24):
Well, before we go, would you pray for us, for the
listeners out there.
Robin Arender (21:30):
Sure, I'd be glad to Our Heavenly Father we just
come to you today, lord, and Ijust pray for anybody out there
that's struggling.
Lord, you already know theirneeds.
You already know who they are.
You've got your arms justwaiting for them, lord.
I just pray that they'll justmake that simple step and come
(21:51):
to you.
I pray for all the people whoare hurting.
Lord, I know what it feels like, I know what it hurts, and I
know what it feels like to be atthe very bottom and to just
feel like the worst person inthe world.
I pray that, lord, that youwill just lift them up, and I
just thank you for doing thatalready.
Lord, in your precious name, wepray Amen.
Ron Meyers (22:14):
Amen, Robin.
Hey, listen, if somebody wantsto send you a thumbs up or just
a message, they heard you Areyou on social media.
Robin Arender (22:22):
I am on Facebook.
Ron Meyers (22:23):
Okay.
Robin Arender (22:23):
Robin Orender.
Ron Meyers (22:25):
And how do you spell that last name?
A-r-e-n-d-e-r, r-n-d-r, r-n-d-r.
Well, robin, good, I thinksomebody will reach out to you.
You are a blessing and thankyou for sharing your story, and
you just got one of your prayersanswered to talk about God
through radio and podcasts thatgo all over the world.
(22:47):
So, thank you.
God is so pleased with you.
Robin Arender (22:50):
Thank you, I appreciate it.
I was a little nervous and Iprobably stuttered some words,
but that's okay, it's not aboutme.
Ron Meyers (22:58):
But you know, the tagline for this show is real
people, real stories, realstruggles and real hope, and you
just shared some real hope.
Thank you, Robin.
Robin Arender (23:07):
Thank you.
I just want to say I've hadsome great friends too.
Ron Meyers (23:11):
You want to mention them.
Robin Arender (23:12):
Go ahead, oh gosh , just some great friends that
have come into my life.
Ron Meyers (23:18):
We all need friends, don't we?
Robin Arender (23:19):
Yeah, and they're true friends.
I didn't know how to be afriend.
I had to learn how to be afriend too, and they helped me
along the way.
Ron Meyers (23:26):
Amen.
Well, God bless you and lookforward to checking in with you
again soon and we'll see what'shappening in the life of Robin
Orender.
Robin Arender (23:33):
Okay, I'm excited .
Speaker 2 (23:35):
You're listening to Get the Hell Out of your Life
with your host, ron Myers.
Real stories, real strugglesand real hope.
Speaker 6 (23:45):
Has hope become a stranger in your life?
Do you feel trapped?
Are you caught in a whirlpoolof life and responsibilities
that you can't escape?
Maybe hope is gone becausesomeone robbed you of your
childhood or your youth, ormaybe it's a dream that you know
will never come true.
We can wish differently, butlife will never be painless.
(24:06):
But you're saying where can Ifind a place where there is
peace?
Peace is found only in JesusChrist, crucified and
resurrected.
Jesus is triumphant over everypain, every failure, every
heartbreak and every hope forthis life.
Jesus tells us if anyone wishesto come after me, he must deny
(24:27):
himself and take up his crossdaily and follow me.
If you would like to speak withsomeone right now about
beginning a personalrelationship with Jesus Christ,
call 888-NEED-HIM or go towwwchataboutjesuscom.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
God will be back in a moment to wrap up today's
conversation.
We want to encourage you todaywith God's promise to you.
It comes from the book ofJeremiah, chapter 29, verse 11,
for I know the plans I have foryou, declares the Lord.
Plans to prosper you and not toharm you.
Plans to give you hope and thefuture.
(25:07):
That's God's promise to you,and you choose to commit your
plans and future to Him.
Now back to Ron.
Speaker 2 (26:40):
You, you, you, you you, you, you, you, you, you,
(28:33):
you, you, you, you discuss you,you, you, you, you, you, you,
(28:55):
you, you, you you.
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