June 6, 2023 • 57 mins
In this episode I welcome Allan Shedlin. Allan is a father of and daddy to three daughters and five grandchildren. He has devoted his life’s work to education and the importance of good fatherhood, what he calls “Daddying.” He holds many titles and degrees, but he is most proud of his title D.A.D.. In this episode we talk about his goals for the Daddying Film Festival and Forum. Plus, I share my inspiration for the short film, ‘Love Grows Here’, that I submitted for the festival.
LINKS
Daddying Film Festival and Forum
'Love Grows Here' - Short Film
Thank you to Allan for sharing his story and being part of Girl Dad Nation. Check out the links in the description to learn more about the Daddying Film Festival and Forum, including the short film I made for my girls. It’s an honor to have my film, ‘Love Grows Here’, selected among so many wonderful films celebrating the role of good dads. I’ll be looking forward to the festival each year around Father’s Day!
As I mentioned in the interview, video technology is more accessible than it ever has been. Most parents have a camera and computer in their pocket with the popularity of smart phones. I encourage you to capture the good memories, share your family’s story, get creative, and also make things with your kids. It will mean so much to you and to them!
Thank you for journeying with me.
If you've enjoyed this podcast, please let me know by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts and sharing the show with a creative dad! I’d also love to know which movies inspire you. Is there a film that you love with a strong father figure? Send me a note!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Matthew Krekeler (00:00):
Welcome to Girl Dad Nation.
In this episode I welcome AllanShedlin.
Allan is a father of, and daddyto, three daughters and five
grandchildren.
He has devoted his life's workto education and the importance
of good fatherhood, what hecalls daddying.
He holds many titles anddegrees, but he is most proud of
his title DAD.
In this episode we talk abouthis goals for the Daddying Film
(00:23):
Festival and Forum Plus.
I share my inspiration for theshort film Love Grows Here that
I submitted for the festival.
Let's get to it.
(00:44):
Allan, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
It's great to meet you.
I got connected to you throughthe Daddying Film Festival and
Forum and, yeah, i think it's areally great opportunity for
dads and their kids to justcelebrate fatherhood, celebrate
parents and all of the joys andchallenges and craziness, funny
(01:07):
stories that comes along withraising kids.
And, yeah, i was actually uplate last night inspired to make
my own film, so I was reallyexcited to share that and I got
to share it with my kids thismorning.
So, yeah, thank you so much forbeing here.
Allan Shedlin (01:25):
My pleasure and, as I mentioned before the
introduction, i loved watchingyour film last night.
Matthew Krekeler (01:31):
Thank you, Yeah, it was such a personal
thing for me.
I work in media so I do videoproduction like as my full-time
job now.
But doing something for thefilm festival was just so great
because I got to look back.
I took all this footage that Ijust had on my phone.
You know, usually it just liveson your phone.
(01:51):
But being able to write a storyaround it and kind of share my
films, kind of like an openletter to my daughter, and
looking back at all of thewonderful memories just in the
past three years with my kidsand then getting to share my
hopes and dreams for them andkind of passing that on And then
hopefully it inspires otherfathers.
Allan Shedlin (02:14):
Yeah, I think it absolutely will inspire other
fathers, especially in theirwillingness to express their
feelings, which is, I'm sure youknow, is not always something
that we have come to believe mendo easily And we can talk about
(02:34):
it.
I find that you know I havelots of examples where that is
untrue.
Matthew Krekeler (02:41):
Yeah, and you're also a dad of three
daughters, so we have that incommon.
Plus, you're a granddad.
So tell me, yeah, how old areyour kids now?
And, yeah, what inspired you tostart this film fest?
Okay, so.
Allan Shedlin (02:57):
I should probably not say it this way, but I will
because it makes me smile.
All three of my daughters aremembers of ARP, so they're all
over 50.
And I have three granddaughtersas well, who range in age from
17 to 26.
And then I have two grandsonswho are 21 and 23.
(03:20):
So that's wonderful.
What inspired me to start thefilm festival and the daddying
film festival and forum?
So before I answer that, it'sprobably really necessary to
talk a little bit about the termdaddying as opposed to
(03:43):
fathering, because I see them astwo quite dramatically
different things.
So I'm trained as an educator.
I taught all the way listencarefully.
I taught all the way fromgraduate school up to nursery
school.
You have a four-year-old, soyou understand the importance of
(04:06):
nursery school right And earlyas school years.
And I taught in lots ofdifferent settings, beginning as
a special ed teacher forautistic and emotionally
disturbed and learning disabledkids and ending up as the
principal of the school forgifted kids.
And all of those were in oneborough or another of New York
(04:31):
City.
And when I was principal I had arule I think it was the only
rule I had which is thatteachers were not allowed to
complain at faculty meetings,which were once a week for two
hours, unless they made asuggestion on how to improve
what they wanted to complainabout.
(04:51):
And after eight years as aprincipal I realized I had to
follow that same rule and therewere things I wanted to complain
about.
The first was the lack ofrecognition of the importance of
the earliest school years.
You know, usually think thatwhere you went to college is the
most important.
(05:12):
I disagree and I always feltthat it was the earliest school
years that were important.
And, by the way, you know, sortof going back to we're talking
a little bit about males andwhat the stereotypes and
expectations are I used to getall of the time Alan, you're not
(05:33):
serious about being anelementary school principal
really.
I mean, you want this to be astepping stone.
You want to be a high schoolprincipal or a college president
or a student?
No, i don't, i want to be anelementary school principal.
So that was kind of interestingto me And after eight years, of
that it was enough and I wantedto address three things that I
(05:58):
was complaining about.
One, the lack of recognition ofthe importance of the earliest
school years.
Two, the fact that publicschools and private schools kind
of see each other almost as theenemy camp rather than as
colleagues, and since both camps, that made no sense to me at
(06:19):
all.
And the third was that whenyou're a special educator,
you're used to having dialoguewith people who aren't teachers
but also who might bepsychologists, social workers,
neurologists, pediatricians, andI miss that.
And so when I left my job, icreated something which became
(06:43):
the National Elementary SchoolCenter and its focus was those
three things dignifying theimportance of the earliest
school years, having peoplecross their silos as you know,
their professional silos andalso having public and private
school teachers understand thatcolleagues were not competitors.
(07:04):
And I did that for ten yearsand then I wouldn't say I'd
burned out, but it was close,because if you run a nonprofit
or what I call a social profitorganization, you spend way too
much of your time begging formoney, and it's at the expense
(07:26):
of doing the programs you'retrying to raise the money for.
So it made no sense to me, sowe closed the shop and somebody
said what are you doing next?
And I said I have no clue.
And they said well, we just hada conversation with your three
daughters who at that point,when they're early 20s and you
need to write a book onfathering, that's great.
(07:49):
So that's where yes, sorry forthe metaphor the seed was
planted.
And I had two reactions to that.
One was my smart ass reaction,which is it's lucky you were
talking to my kids in their 20srather than as teenagers.
(08:10):
You might have gotten adifferent take on my daddying
And fathering isn't a book.
Fathering's a paragraph.
It's a one-time biological actrequiring zero commitment, just
a shot of DNA.
And so, again, not believingyou don't complain about
something unless you offer analternative or a suggestion, i
(08:33):
came up with the term daddying,which is what happens when
nurturing and fatherhoodintersect, and that is a
lifelong commitment, as you'vealready discovered And as I
certainly have discovered withthree daughters over 50.
So, yes, it takes differentforms, but so that's the where
(08:58):
daddying came from.
The first two years of usingthat term, it kind of stuck in
my throat, because so manypeople said to me and this goes
back 30 years so many peoplesaid to me Alan, no real guy is
gonna say that word.
Daddying, it's wimpy, it'swussy, it's soft.
(09:20):
You know, no real guy is gonnasay that word.
And so I was a little bithesitant to use the word,
especially when I did my firstdaddying interview, which is now
the first of 205 suchone-on-one interviews with guys
(09:41):
as young as 16 and as old as 104, from 20 different countries.
And that first interview, whichlasts about an hour and a half,
was in the cab of a pickuptruck in Albuquerque with an all
former Allstate linebacker whohad a gun rack on the back of
(10:04):
this pickup truck, bug heads onthe floor and looked like a
linebacker And I thought whatthe hell is gonna happen when I
use the word daddying with thisguy.
He's gonna open the door andhe's gonna push me right out.
But I discovered somethingdifferent, which is the word
gave him permission to get intouch with the part of him that
(10:26):
was more tender, and from thatpoint on I was no longer nervous
, worried, hesitant to use theword daddying.
So that's where it came from.
Why did I do that?
other than somebody suggestedit?
because of the way my daughtersexpressed the way they felt
(10:46):
about me, but also because Iwish that my own dad had been
more involved in my life.
I knew he would be there in apinch, but like you, i'll bet we
need more than a pinch.
So I kind of devoted myselfvery early in my life that if
(11:08):
and when I become a dad whichwas always the goal of mine that
I would be a different kind ofdad.
So those were really the twomain reasons that I started my
work with daddying, and justthen I'll take a breath and let
you ask fire away.
(11:29):
But you asked about how thatthen became the daddying film
festival.
So the goal was to write thatbook And before I started
interviewing dads, i did it.
Focus groups with the consumersof daddying, like that.
(11:50):
So if you want to improve aproduct, you talk to the
consumers.
So the consumers are kids.
So I did 28 focus groups inthree countries with kids from
five to 21 years old.
The focus groups were like ages, so just span that.
(12:11):
And when I was all finishedwith that research with the kids
and then beginning with thedads, i found an agent in the DC
area who shopped the bookaround and this now goes back 15
years ago And the book wasrejected by all eight publishers
(12:32):
that she shopped it around toAll saying exactly the same
thing No book on fatherhood.
Men don't read, men don't buybooks.
No book on fatherhood is everso well and no one ever heard of
him.
Matthew Krekeler (12:48):
Yeah, it's a tough challenge, for sure.
Allan Shedlin (12:51):
So I had all this research.
I had listened at that point toabout 50 dads And the soulful
sadness that often came out ofthose interviews was something
that I couldn't ignore, and soif a book wasn't going to do it,
then I had to figure out someother way to address that.
(13:11):
And it's not as you said inyour introduction, it's not all
challenging, it's all a delightas well and a lot of fun.
So, yes, it was plenty of goodstuff that came, but it was the
soulful sadness that really gotto me the most.
And I saw a movie called MyArchitect is Son's Journey in
(13:34):
2003, which was an Academy Awardnominee as the best documentary
film, and I found myself inthat darkened theater wishing
that my father, who had passedaway the year before, was
sitting next to me so that wecould have used the film as an
opportunity to discuss issuesthat came up in the film that
(13:57):
would have been very hard for meto bring up without referring
to the film.
That's where the idea of usingfilm as a way of getting to
important batting issues camefrom.
Matthew Krekeler (14:12):
Yeah, that's something interesting to think
about, because even if you reada book, it's kind of hard to
share a book.
It takes a long time and youcan't really consume it
necessarily together.
But sitting down and watching amovie or a short film, you
could do that with your kids.
And I know we watch Disneymovies with our kids or shows or
(14:32):
other things and we talk aboutthose things.
We were also into sports and wejust had the Stanley Cup
playoffs and stuff like that.
So watching those things andtalking about those values like
teamwork, and then oh, why didthat person have to go to the
penalty box or something?
And it brings up conversations.
(14:52):
And then watching movies toowith your kids.
Who's the main character?
What's their goal Like?
why are they in this challengeright now?
Why is this person the meanperson?
What are those traits aboutthem that are not good?
And kids recognize that rightaway.
So I think that's really goodto understand.
(15:14):
I'll throw this movie out, butIncanto was really impactful for
our family And my wife's asocial worker, so seeing it kind
of through her lens too, in theways that each person has their
own special ability, and thenthe main character seems like
she didn't get the same gift aseveryone else.
(15:34):
But understanding those giftsthat like just because we don't
have the same gift as somebodyelse or our gift doesn't seem as
extraordinary, in little wayswe can bring everyone together
And in some ways that's an evenbigger gift than what you see on
the outside.
Allan Shedlin (15:52):
So yeah, i mean that was definitely a mindset
that I cultivated as a teacherof autistic and, you know,
severely emotionally disturbedand learning disabled kids is
finding their, if finding theirasset and being able to build on
it and to recognize it.
(16:13):
So, yes, absolutely, and I'msure Finding Nemo was another.
I don't know if you watchedyour kids, but there were so
many wonderful movies out therefor all the different age levels
And I'm sure you have adifferent discussion with your
four year old than you do withyour baby.
Matthew Krekeler (16:35):
But yeah, and I love the term daddying too.
I think about that and, likeyou know, my most common and
most favorite title is dad.
So my kids are daddy and and Ilove that.
Like father kind of seems soformal in a way, but not that
(16:57):
it's a bad term, but but justthat personal relationship to
someone that it's just simple,it's just familiar dad.
And even like I look at peoplelike the rock who has daughters
and like doesn't matter how muchlike machismo you have, like
(17:17):
how like these people like youmentioned linebackers or all
these like from the outsidetough guys, like the love that
they have for their kids isuniversal And that is just so
inspiring to me.
Allan Shedlin (17:32):
Yeah, and as it is to me, matthew and the and
the whole notion, it's veryinteresting using words like
tough guys and machismo.
So for me, i wish that machismoincluded those aspects of men
that were that are more tender.
Yeah, i've written a good dealabout crying and about that is a
(17:58):
strength and not a weakness formen to be able to do that and
to show it.
Yeah, embarrassed about doingit, so that that may be another
issue, but you know when youwere talking about the term
daddying and dad.
So one of the things I do inworkshops that that I do is I
(18:23):
ask people to give anassociation with two words.
The first word is mothering,you know, and think about what
our association is with thatword, and then fathering, and
think about what our immediatemindset is when we hear those
(18:45):
two words If instead we saymommying and daddying.
One of the crazier things I didat a talk I gave was because I
tend to get bored with my owntalk sometimes that I have to do
something that lightens it up alittle bit.
So I told this large group ofpeople that I had invited a
(19:08):
guest to come.
Toward the end of the talk, iducked down behind the podium
and when I stood up I waswearing a full Darth Vader mask.
I said I am your daddy.
(19:28):
I asked them, as the finalthing, to imagine how
differently that story wouldhave ended if he had been daddy
and not father For me.
That's why I like that word andyou like that word.
Matthew Krekeler (19:49):
Even on medical forums like take our
kids to the hospital and fillingout the forum relationship to
patient, and I'm like right anddad, yeah, perfect, yeah.
So tell me more about just someof the details of the Film
Festival.
This is your second year ofdoing the festival.
Allan Shedlin (20:10):
Well, the second year, but really the first year
of having the forum and havingit live, and it will be very
different.
So last year we did a pilot runof the Film Festival and it was
all virtual.
We were blown away by theinterest that it seemed to
(20:32):
stimulate.
We had submissions of one tofive minute videos by kids from
17 different countries and itblew us away.
We had no idea that that kindof entered.
So this year we decided that wewould do the.
And it was all virtual lastyear And this year we decided we
(20:56):
continue with the virtual.
But we'd also add two things,probably because I'm a masochist
and it was not great that Ifigured okay, we got this, let's
add some other stuff that'llmake it much more challenging.
So we increase the length ofthe film to seven minutes
(21:17):
instead of five.
We opened it up to fathers likeMatthew to submit films, which
we got and I loved your film, bythe way, oh, thank you And we
decided to have two live dayswhich we're calling not a film
festival, but a film festivaland forum.
(21:39):
So it's going to be very, verydifferent than what the typical
film festival is, because thefocus is really more on the
essence of the films rather thanthe production of the films,
and because I've done lots ofwork over the years in New
(22:03):
Mexico.
I've been going out there for 27years now because my oldest
daughter was a bilingual teacherin the Albuquerque Public
Schools, so I was going outthere twice a year and, as a
former educator, spending, ather request, a day in her
(22:26):
classroom focusing on kids whowere a little bit more
challenging, and she wanted tohave my opinion and tips, which
is, by the way, a wonderfulthing if you're a dad that
actually have your kid want youto do that.
Yeah, so that's great, anyway,so it's June 24th, the festival
(22:49):
will be in Albuquerque and theforum will be in Albuquerque,
and in June 25th it will be inSanta Fe.
And what the day will look likewe'll have a welcome by a
couple of different folks, thenwe're going to show a
three-minute film from lastyear's virtual, which I will
(23:15):
send you when we're finishedwith the interview, because I
promise you you will smile fromthe second you open it till the
second you close it.
It's called Dad for Hire and itwas made by an Australian dad
whose 18-month-old daughterinterviewed him for the job of
(23:37):
being her dad.
Oh that's so sweet.
I promise you that you willsmile from beginning 10.
So we want to set the tone thatalthough this is serious, it's
also fun.
And then, after that show, thenwe're going to show the winning
films that the kids submittedin four categories elementary
(24:00):
school.
And your oldest, matthew Kaley,is how old?
She's?
almost four.
Okay, so she's a little youngto submit her own, but we did
have an eight-year-old to submita film last year.
So we have elementary school,middle school, high school and
undergraduate college.
Oh, that's great.
Those are the four agecategories, or grade categories.
(24:23):
We didn't assign ages because,as you know, sometimes now
undergraduate college kids canbe 25 or 27.
Sure, sure.
And then this year we opened itup for dads to submit films, as
I mentioned, and also forindependent filmmakers to submit
feature films if they wanted to.
(24:45):
So after the kids showed theirfilms the five, the four winning
films in those age categoriesand the winning dad film then
we're going to break intodiscussion groups, small
discussion groups, to discussthe issues that were raised in
the films.
(25:06):
Then we'll have a break And, bythe way, dads and kids will be
discussing those together, andthen there'll be a break for a
little bit of a snack, a littlebit of food, and then we're
going to show a full-lengthfeature that was submitted this
year We've actually selectedthat one already which will also
(25:30):
have you smile from thebeginning to the end for an hour
, but also as deep.
So it's a wonderful combination.
And then towards the beginning,so after we show that sort of
one film about dad Pahir of thekid interviewing the
18-month-old, interviewing herdad to be her father or her
(25:54):
daddy, then we have a woman whojust completed her dissertation
at UCLA in and you'll like thisas a film person yourself on how
men have fathers or portrayedin the media.
So she's going to give a 15 to20 minute talk about that,
(26:17):
showing some clips to illustrateher points.
But at the very end we're doingtwo additional things.
One is we are taking stillportraits black and white
portraits of fathers and theirkids, dads and their kids, and
(26:39):
we're calling them commitmentportraits.
So there is going to be a spaceunderneath the photograph to
make a commitment to your childand for your child to make a
commitment to you, and you'reonly getting the photograph if
you do that And you both have tosign it, and it could be
something very simple, likewatching a movie with your kid
(27:03):
once a month or reading anighttime story every other
night.
It's not, we're not looking atgigantic things And for the kids
, you can picture with your ownkids what kind of commitment
you'd like them to make to you.
And then the second thing, atthe very end, is there's a
(27:26):
entity called the Daddy WishesFund, and so we invite dads to
apply for up to $250 to be spenton doing an activity with your
child that you otherwisecouldn't afford to do unless you
had this $250.
(27:47):
And the only requirement isthat you document what you've
done in some way, not because wedon't trust you or we don't
believe you, but that we can putit online so that other dads
might get ideas of things theycan do with their kid.
So those are the things thatend the day.
(28:09):
So our intention is to orcommitment actually is to do the
festival and forum in adifferent state each year, and
we are thrilled to have beeninvited to do it in Pennsylvania
next year.
And there are a lot of reasonsI'm thrilled to do it, one of
(28:33):
which is I can drive toPennsylvania as opposed to
flying to New Mexico.
It'll be a lot easier.
So it'll be in the next yeararound Father's Day like it is
this year.
Matthew Krekeler (28:49):
That's great.
Yeah, i think I was thinkingabout this too, just as a dad to
daughters.
One of my guests said, like hegot the question well, like,
what do you do with yourdaughters?
I think it's sometimes morenatural for dads with sons to be
like, yeah, like we'll go anddo, like fix something or like
or play sports or whatever, andthere's kind of a more of a
(29:11):
maybe a natural connection.
But but my guest was like, well, yeah, you just do what you
normally would do.
It doesn't like.
The gender doesn't really haveto be a barrier in a way that I
think sometimes some peopleunfortunately like see it as
such.
So, like my kids are alwayslike following me around.
Like we fixed our washer dryerone time and then we fixed up
(29:34):
our little like power wheels carAnd it was great like having
them involved in that.
And then, yeah, i love the ideatoo that you're giving dads an
opportunity to spend a littlebit of money to do something, do
an adventure that, eitherfinancially or otherwise, like
they might not make thatcommitment for, but having the
(29:57):
money in pocket with acommitment to go out and do that
, i think is really great.
I'm thinking of a bunch ofideas now with my own kids.
And then, yeah, i'm going tojust do another shout out on the
podcast.
Part of Girl Dad Nation startedas a podcast to have these kinds
of conversations, but I wasthinking of ways to grow the
(30:20):
community, not just online but,like you're doing, in-person
forums, which is great, andconnecting it to a film festival
and all that, and then thisother opportunity for to sponsor
events for kids.
So, yeah, so coming up just ina couple weeks, in May 13th, is
our first event hosted by GirlDad Nation And it's hosted at an
(30:44):
indoor playground And it's anopportunity for dads and
daughters just to come and enjoyplaying with their kids.
I had a guy on the podcast.
We shared stories about gettingin the playground at, like, the
fast food restaurant andbecause our kids are both young
And so we were crawling up tothe slide with them and just
(31:04):
seeing their joy and like usbeing right there in the action,
and so this is an opportunityfor dads and daughters to do
that, but also to meet otherdads, have those conversations.
Yeah, in very positive ways toencourage yeah, really great
parenting and daddying.
Allan Shedlin (31:22):
Yeah, and, of course, how interesting that
you're doing it on Mother's Dayweekend.
Matthew Krekeler (31:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's going to be day beforeMother's Day, so like the next
day is completely devoted totheir mom and all of that.
And then, yeah, for that dayI'm going to have some printouts
so that the kids can draw andcolor some Mother's Day cards,
like as one of the activitiesduring the day.
Allan Shedlin (31:50):
So yeah, that's a great idea.
So you know when you're talkingabout, you're a prior guest who
said you know, what do you dowith your daughter?
I was thinking in preparationfor and for our discussion is
(32:11):
would do?
I think I would have daddieddifferently if I had sons
instead of daughters or anaddition daughters?
I don't think so.
I don't think I did stuffuniquely because they were three
daughters as opposed to threesons.
(32:32):
I can sort of see that, atleast in my grandparent thing,
where I have grandsons as wellas granddaughters.
But you know, i did think I'mbig, as you know, obviously,
with the word daddying And Ilike to create terms, you know,
like that, because Z is anotherterm.
(32:53):
But I think about and Imentioned, had differently we
might respond to the wordmothering versus fathering, but
we also talk about daddy'slittle girl And then we talk
about mama's boy, right?
So it's kind of interestingagain, those stereotypes that we
(33:16):
begin to think about back in2000.
It was either eight or 11.
I wrote a piece, a commentarythat the New York Times
distributed called the daddymovement, and I pointed out that
there was a movement.
(33:37):
In my opinion, that is beenhappening underneath the radar.
And it's happening underneaththe radar, partially because the
stereotype we have about howwould a guy create a movement
Right, we probably think it'd bevery strategic, it'd probably
(33:59):
be a little bit aggressive,maybe in your face a little bit,
and there would probably be acharismatic leader of the
movement.
Okay, one of those things havehappened in what I consider the
daddy movement.
They are obvious in other ways,like there's a guy who does a
podcast called you know dad, youknow girl dad, and there are
(34:24):
now we talk about family leave,not just maternity leave, and
you see sports figures youmentioned before the rock Dwayne
, the Rock Johnson, you know,talking in a very tender way
about his girls.
And so it's obvious in so somany ways.
(34:48):
Some are like changing you knowI hesitate using the changing
table.
You know, in men's restrooms,oh yeah, what are you changing?
You changing your kid forsomebody else's kid?
What are you changing?
And I was very excited when Isaw the first signs of those and
(35:12):
they tended to be in airportsactually, but they're also now
in stadiums and they're all over.
But it was about five yearsbefore I saw anyone actually
open one up.
And I was all excited when Isaw somebody open one up until
he took out his computer andlaptop and put it on.
That started working And Ithought no, that's not what it
(35:33):
is, or, but anyway, there arejust lots of ways that the
studying movement exists.
Whether it's you just describingwhat you're doing on the 13th,
that wouldn't have happened 10years ago.
You wouldn't have dads going toreading, you know, storytime at
(35:55):
the library.
You would have had fewer dadsgoing to conferences at schools.
You would have had fewer dadswearing their baby or talking
about you're pregnant, whichstill jorts me a little bit, but
anyway.
So I think the dating movementexists in a way, and it doesn't
(36:18):
need to be in what our mindthinks of as a movement.
It exists.
Matthew Krekeler (36:28):
Yeah, and I like how you sort of describe
the movement going under theradar too and in little ways but
in progressive ways, and thecommitment to being there for
your kids too.
And like the changing tablething I think is a great example
, and I think we still have along ways to go, because
whenever we go to like thelibrary and they don't have a
(36:50):
changing table in the men'srestroom, i'm like what Come on?
Like there's so many areaswhere it could be easily adapted
to give dads more ability to bepresent and to take on that
responsibility with their kidsin very practical ways, like
just changing diapers and stuff,and then also just around the
(37:14):
work environment too, likepaternity leave, family leave,
and then so much of theresponsibility of kids lands on
the mom too.
Whenever the kid's sick, themom even if she's a working mom,
like my wife is typicallybecomes the one that has to
rearrange their schedule or takethe kids to school or whatever,
(37:34):
and so I've been fortunateenough to be able to be in a
position at my work to ask forsimilar accommodations.
So there's a day a week that Itake my kids to preschool and
kind of sharing thatresponsibility with their mom.
But I love it.
I get so much joy and mydaughter loves when I'm the one
(37:55):
to pick her up from school.
It just brightens her day And Ithink providing those
opportunities for dads is justsuch an amazing thing And I bet
it brightens your day.
Oh, absolutely.
I look forward to that day ofthe week when I get to pick her
up and she gets so excited.
Sometimes we get a treatafterwards and then we go to the
(38:15):
park when it's nice, and yeah,that time is just so valuable
And it goes by way too quicklytoo.
Allan Shedlin (38:23):
It does, and one of the things I really would
like to share is that I've beenwriting about dating now for 30
years in different formats, andnow we have this blog that's
almost two years old iscreatively called Daddying And,
(38:45):
by the way, we'd love to inviteyou to do a guest blog, so we
don't do all of the blog, thankyou.
I write two to three a month,and Scott, who reached out to
you, does also about one month,and then the rest are inviting
others to contribute what theydo, and I love, for instance,
(39:07):
the topic of your film that yousubmitted last night about love
growing here and growing lovehere, because it reminds me of
something that my youngestdaughter, who has three children
, said to me when she waspregnant with the third child,
(39:28):
and she said to me that I'mreally worried.
And I said what are you worriedabout, christina?
And she said I'm not sure Ihave enough love left over for
my third child Because I love mytwo sons so much And she's
about to have her first and onlydaughter.
And so, of course, i teased her, which I love to do, and I said
(39:52):
so what order are you in ourfamily?
And she looked at me like sheknew where I was going with it
and she said I'm the thirddaughter and I said did you have
a feeling that I didn't haveenough love left over for you?
And she said, oh, i said so.
One of the things you willdiscover is our hearts have the
(40:17):
infinite capacity to expand justas much as they need to have
enough love for all of the kidsThat we have.
In my case, having been a schoolprincipal And I think I
mentioned this in my note to youlast night A four year old
described my job as a schoolprincipal is the daddy of the
(40:37):
school, and I felt like I didhave plenty of love.
You know that I can share withwith lots of other people, so
that's one of the things thatyou know.
I love that you call that lovegrows here, because because it
does So.
That's just something that Ifeel is important for all of us
(41:02):
to think about.
And the other thing that I wantto mention is that, having
written about this for so longand done so many things that
have to do with that And youknow we we do workshops in the
penitentiary.
Actually, in the onepenitentiary we did was near
where you got your film degree,was the penitentiary in Mexico
(41:25):
and Santa Fe, do a program withveterans, did a program on
Native American Pueblos at theWorld Bank and nursery schools.
So a lot of them and people haveasked me do you think you've
made a contribution to the field?
It's not sort of my mindset, Ihadn't thought about that before
(41:48):
, but it was a fair question AndI think the contribution that I
can take some pride incontributing was noting that not
only is active parentingimportant for your child and all
measures of social well beinggo up when dads are positively
(42:11):
involved in the lives of theirchildren But so is it important
to dance, and there was verylittle writing about that.
So for me the apex, the zinusof that in is when nurturing
your child is nourishing to you.
(42:33):
Yeah, yeah, and that's why Ijumped in and said not only is
it great for your daughter whenyou pick her up at school, but
I'm betting it's also great foryou, oh, absolutely, and thank
you for sharing that too withthe theme of my film.
Matthew Krekeler (42:50):
Just love grows.
here.
And that's what I was thinkingabout is like I shot that, like
you know, two years earlier withmy daughter planting, like
using her watering can andwatering the grass and the
flowers and stuff.
And I was like, oh, that was sospecial, and that was when she
was just an only child.
At the time maybe we werepregnant, but but yeah, just
(43:14):
thinking about how special thatmoment was.
But then now, like two yearslater, she's almost four and she
has two more sisters.
Like just watching them in thebackyard again the same location
but watching her now be able toshare that with her sisters is
just so incredible, soincredible.
And, like you were saying, likeas a parent, now I see that
(43:38):
love isn't finite.
You know, it's amazing how yourlove grows and then, sharing it
, you just increase yourcapacity to love and and I love
my oldest so much, but I loveall of my daughters equally and
and then watching them love eachother has just been the
greatest blessing because, likewatching her play by herself is
(44:02):
so great, but then seeing theway that she shares that and
just the joy that she gets.
She gets so much more joyfulwhen, like she comes home from
pre school and knows that hersister is waiting for her and
and they can enjoy the sameadventures together.
It's just amazing.
Allan Shedlin (44:19):
It is amazing and it's it's kind of interesting
as one looks at it in terms ofstages.
So when you're doing your liveevent on the 13, i will be in
North Carolina for my oldestgranddaughters graduation from.
You can share this with withBecca With her degree in social
(44:45):
work.
So, and I was thinking about,as I'm anticipating that event
And I'm anticipating it's goingto be the definitely the subject
of a blog is I'm thinking backto having been at her nursery
school graduation And I'm justthinking of the different
(45:08):
graduation seasons, if you will.
So her graduating is a fouryear old from from nursery
school and now her graduatingwith a degree, you know,
graduate degree in social work.
It's just really quite, quiteastonishing, yeah, yeah that's
(45:28):
incredible cry just as hard, ifnot more, in her graduate school
graduation as I did from theirseries.
Matthew Krekeler (45:38):
That's so wonderful.
We just have a few more minutes, but I wanted to give you the
floor.
Any other advice for dads orany other thing you want to say
about your festival before I askmy final question.
Allan Shedlin (45:50):
Yeah.
so I would like to let peopleknow that we'll be doing this
again next year.
You know you can attest to it,ain't that hard.
You got a lot of stuff alreadyon your phones.
You know doesn't need to be afinished.
you know Disney spectacular,it's, you know, one to seven
minutes long.
So we usually announce usuallythis is the first full year of
(46:16):
doing it, but we will announceagain on Martin Luther King Day
that we are open for submissions.
And, by the way, when your filmcomes in, i think where your
film is going next is to kids ofthis age that are submitting
films so elementary, oh wow.
(46:37):
They will evaluate the filmsand we've had a training program
for them in terms of evaluatingfilms and then they will narrow
down the 10 semi finalists ineach age group.
The semi finalists, the 10 semifinalists, will go to people in
the entertainment industry andthey will narrow down the five,
(47:01):
and those five finalists will beonline June 4th through the
10th on a YouTube channel forthe public to vote.
And the winner all of thefinalists received $250, earned
$250, and the winner receivesnot an Oscar, not a Golden Globe
(47:23):
, not a Grammy.
They received an Atticus namedafter Atticus Finch from
Tekelberg, who is believed to bethe best portrayal of a,
especially a single dad inliterature and in the movies,
and so they actually received aphysical award with a
mockingbird on the top of thepedestal, and another $250.
(47:49):
So that's something to leavepeople with is to start thinking
about next year's submittingnext year's film, and we're
thinking of doing a specialcategory of films made with
fathers and their kids togethernext year.
That's great, yeah as well.
So you know that's.
(48:10):
and the other is to saber toget to that apex, to get to that
zenith of daddying, which is toallow yourself to be nourished
by nourishing your children.
It is very, very important, andcry.
Matthew Krekeler (48:32):
And, as someone who's made several short
films and stuff like that, ijust want to encourage dads out
there.
It's so accessible now, evenfrom five or 10 years ago.
You have a camera in yourpocket and you can edit it on
your phone or you can edit it ona computer.
But software now is accessibleAnd, yeah, i love watching the
(48:58):
reels that people have onInstagram of things that they're
doing with their kids and just,yeah, dads like me posting
stuff that they're excited about.
So, yeah, i encourage peopleThis came out after the deadline
for this year, but I encouragepeople for next year to start
thinking and start I mean, ihave like 100 pictures from
(49:18):
yesterday of my kids.
So, yeah, just really cherishingthose moments every day.
And then this is a reallywonderful way to honor your kids
by presenting those specialthings and it's a really great
keepsake too.
So when I was thinking aboutmaking this film, i really I
(49:40):
came in like right at the lastminute for the submission
deadline.
It's been on my mind and I'malways like up to the wire, like
doing it, but I was like, evenif I miss the deadline, this is
something that I'll cherish withmy kids forever.
Allan Shedlin (49:55):
So yeah, and they will too.
obviously, as you said, youshowed it to them today, so Oh
yeah, and I recorded themwatching it, which was sweet.
Matthew Krekeler (50:07):
So I recorded them watching it for the first
time and my second.
She's like recognizing oh,that's Kaylee, that's Daddy.
And it was really sweet thatthey got really excited watching
them play and stuff, which iswhat my film is a lot of, just
like the home movies that I shoton my camera, on my iPhone.
So Did you record theirreaction?
(50:29):
I did, yeah, so this morning Irecorded the reaction.
Allan Shedlin (50:34):
So that's your film submission for next year,
because actually, just give a,we'll be exciting and we'll make
this available after, with thepermission of the filmmaker.
But the feature film is a filmdone by a dad with a teenage
daughter who is in a danceprogram And the fundraiser for
(51:00):
the dance studio every year isthat the dads of teenage girls
learn a routine and then presentit at the fundraiser.
That's great.
It's an hour long and it'sworth every minute.
And so I contacted the dad,oliver Ortele, in Pasadena, and
(51:23):
I said to him so what do youthink of if we use your film as
our finale for the on the 24thand the 25th of June?
what do you think about you andyour daughter interviewing each
other about the film?
So I think of this because ofwhat you said So the three
(51:44):
questions that I recommend andyou do whatever way you want.
but is a?
when I told you I was going tomake a film about this, what did
you think?
Because she was 14.
When you saw the film for thefirst time, what did you think?
And now you're a freshman incollege, what do you think when
(52:08):
you watch the film now?
And they asked each other thosequestions and it's wonderful.
So that's, that's a specialintroduction to the film.
So it'll be cool when yourgirls five years from now, you
know look at that film 10 yearsfrom now, and 15 years from now
(52:28):
is the different ways they feelabout it.
So that's great that you didthat.
Thank you.
Matthew Krekeler (52:36):
It's been a pleasure talking to you.
I have one final question, andI ask all of my guests this.
So pretend like you're speakingdirectly to your daughters
right now.
What would you like to tellthem?
Allan Shedlin (52:55):
So what I not only would like to tell them,
but what I have told them and Itell them often, is very similar
to how you began the interview,when you were mentioning why
you started and you talk aboutyourself, and it's what's in my
little bio statement at the endof my blog.
(53:15):
So I have all these academicdegrees and the one that is most
important to me and I'mproudest of is my DAD, and I
know they know that.
So it's just the repeat.
I would not like anybody's kidto wonder how their dad or their
(53:39):
mom feels about them.
So don't be, don't be afraid.
I got a card from my youngestdaughter on my birthday, which
was just a couple of weeks ago,and what she said is thank you
for teaching me how to love.
Matthew Krekeler (54:04):
That's beautiful.
Allan Shedlin (54:08):
So you keep doing your good stuff, Matthew.
that's great.
I'd love to hear how it goes onthe 13th.
Matthew Krekeler (54:15):
That's great, thank you.
Allan Shedlin (54:17):
And maybe you'll do some filming of that, or
maybe other dads will, orthey'll share the photographs
they take on their phones.
Yeah, yeah, and that might bethe blog you want to write.
Matthew Krekeler (54:32):
Awesome.
Well, yeah, i'm looking forwardto that And thank you so much.
I really hope that we can keepin touch And, yeah, i look
forward to the festival.
I love to see what other dadsare inspired to create.
Allan Shedlin (54:43):
Yeah, okay, and thank you for the opportunity.
As you can tell, i'm not shyabout speaking about any of this
, so I'm delighted to have theopportunity, so thanks.
Matthew Krekeler (55:09):
Thank you to Allan for sharing his story and
being part of Girl Dad Nation.
Check out the links in thedescription to learn more about
the Daddying Film Festival andForum, including the short film
I made for My Girls.
It's an honor to have my filmLove Grows Here selected among
so many wonderful filmscelebrating the role of good
dads.
I'll be looking forward to thefestival each year around
(55:30):
Father's Day.
As I mentioned in the interview,video technology is more
accessible than it ever has been.
Most parents have a camera andcomputer in their pocket with
the popularity of smartphones,so I encourage you to capture
the good memories, share yourfamily's story, get creative and
also make things with your kids.
It will mean so much to you andto them.
(55:51):
Thank you for journeying withme.
If you've enjoyed this podcast,please let me know by leaving a
review on Apple Podcasts andsharing the show with a creative
dad.
I'd also love to know whichmovies inspire you.
Is there a film that you lovewith a strong father figure?
Send me a note.
Girl Dad Nation is on Instagram, twitter and Facebook.
You can also email me atgirldadnationpodcast@gmailcom.
(56:14):
There's no greater joy thanbeing a dad.
Welcome to Girl Dad Nation.
In this episode I welcome AllanShedlin.
Allan is a father of, and daddyto, three daughters and five
grandchildren.
He has devoted his life's workto education and the importance
of good fatherhood, what hecalls daddying.
He holds many titles anddegrees, but he is most proud of
his title DAD.
In this episode we talk abouthis goals for the Daddying Film
(00:23):
Festival and Forum Plus.
I share my inspiration for theshort film Love Grows Here that
I submitted for the festival.
Let's get to it.
(00:44):
Allan, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
It's great to meet you.
I got connected to you throughthe Daddying Film Festival and
Forum and, yeah, i think it's areally great opportunity for
dads and their kids to justcelebrate fatherhood, celebrate
parents and all of the joys andchallenges and craziness, funny
(01:07):
stories that comes along withraising kids.
And, yeah, i was actually uplate last night inspired to make
my own film, so I was reallyexcited to share that and I got
to share it with my kids thismorning.
So, yeah, thank you so much forbeing here.
Allan Shedlin (01:25):
My pleasure and, as I mentioned before the
introduction, i loved watchingyour film last night.
Matthew Krekeler (01:31):
Thank you, Yeah, it was such a personal
thing for me.
I work in media so I do videoproduction like as my full-time
job now.
But doing something for thefilm festival was just so great
because I got to look back.
I took all this footage that Ijust had on my phone.
You know, usually it just liveson your phone.
(01:51):
But being able to write a storyaround it and kind of share my
films, kind of like an openletter to my daughter, and
looking back at all of thewonderful memories just in the
past three years with my kidsand then getting to share my
hopes and dreams for them andkind of passing that on And then
hopefully it inspires otherfathers.
Allan Shedlin (02:14):
Yeah, I think it absolutely will inspire other
fathers, especially in theirwillingness to express their
feelings, which is, I'm sure youknow, is not always something
that we have come to believe mendo easily And we can talk about
(02:34):
it.
I find that you know I havelots of examples where that is
untrue.
Matthew Krekeler (02:41):
Yeah, and you're also a dad of three
daughters, so we have that incommon.
Plus, you're a granddad.
So tell me, yeah, how old areyour kids now?
And, yeah, what inspired you tostart this film fest?
Okay, so.
Allan Shedlin (02:57):
I should probably not say it this way, but I will
because it makes me smile.
All three of my daughters aremembers of ARP, so they're all
over 50.
And I have three granddaughtersas well, who range in age from
17 to 26.
And then I have two grandsonswho are 21 and 23.
(03:20):
So that's wonderful.
What inspired me to start thefilm festival and the daddying
film festival and forum?
So before I answer that, it'sprobably really necessary to
talk a little bit about the termdaddying as opposed to
(03:43):
fathering, because I see them astwo quite dramatically
different things.
So I'm trained as an educator.
I taught all the way listencarefully.
I taught all the way fromgraduate school up to nursery
school.
You have a four-year-old, soyou understand the importance of
(04:06):
nursery school right And earlyas school years.
And I taught in lots ofdifferent settings, beginning as
a special ed teacher forautistic and emotionally
disturbed and learning disabledkids and ending up as the
principal of the school forgifted kids.
And all of those were in oneborough or another of New York
(04:31):
City.
And when I was principal I had arule I think it was the only
rule I had which is thatteachers were not allowed to
complain at faculty meetings,which were once a week for two
hours, unless they made asuggestion on how to improve
what they wanted to complainabout.
(04:51):
And after eight years as aprincipal I realized I had to
follow that same rule and therewere things I wanted to complain
about.
The first was the lack ofrecognition of the importance of
the earliest school years.
You know, usually think thatwhere you went to college is the
most important.
(05:12):
I disagree and I always feltthat it was the earliest school
years that were important.
And, by the way, you know, sortof going back to we're talking
a little bit about males andwhat the stereotypes and
expectations are I used to getall of the time Alan, you're not
(05:33):
serious about being anelementary school principal
really.
I mean, you want this to be astepping stone.
You want to be a high schoolprincipal or a college president
or a student?
No, i don't, i want to be anelementary school principal.
So that was kind of interestingto me And after eight years, of
that it was enough and I wantedto address three things that I
(05:58):
was complaining about.
One, the lack of recognition ofthe importance of the earliest
school years.
Two, the fact that publicschools and private schools kind
of see each other almost as theenemy camp rather than as
colleagues, and since both camps, that made no sense to me at
(06:19):
all.
And the third was that whenyou're a special educator,
you're used to having dialoguewith people who aren't teachers
but also who might bepsychologists, social workers,
neurologists, pediatricians, andI miss that.
And so when I left my job, icreated something which became
(06:43):
the National Elementary SchoolCenter and its focus was those
three things dignifying theimportance of the earliest
school years, having peoplecross their silos as you know,
their professional silos andalso having public and private
school teachers understand thatcolleagues were not competitors.
(07:04):
And I did that for ten yearsand then I wouldn't say I'd
burned out, but it was close,because if you run a nonprofit
or what I call a social profitorganization, you spend way too
much of your time begging formoney, and it's at the expense
(07:26):
of doing the programs you'retrying to raise the money for.
So it made no sense to me, sowe closed the shop and somebody
said what are you doing next?
And I said I have no clue.
And they said well, we just hada conversation with your three
daughters who at that point,when they're early 20s and you
need to write a book onfathering, that's great.
(07:49):
So that's where yes, sorry forthe metaphor the seed was
planted.
And I had two reactions to that.
One was my smart ass reaction,which is it's lucky you were
talking to my kids in their 20srather than as teenagers.
(08:10):
You might have gotten adifferent take on my daddying
And fathering isn't a book.
Fathering's a paragraph.
It's a one-time biological actrequiring zero commitment, just
a shot of DNA.
And so, again, not believingyou don't complain about
something unless you offer analternative or a suggestion, i
(08:33):
came up with the term daddying,which is what happens when
nurturing and fatherhoodintersect, and that is a
lifelong commitment, as you'vealready discovered And as I
certainly have discovered withthree daughters over 50.
So, yes, it takes differentforms, but so that's the where
(08:58):
daddying came from.
The first two years of usingthat term, it kind of stuck in
my throat, because so manypeople said to me and this goes
back 30 years so many peoplesaid to me Alan, no real guy is
gonna say that word.
Daddying, it's wimpy, it'swussy, it's soft.
(09:20):
You know, no real guy is gonnasay that word.
And so I was a little bithesitant to use the word,
especially when I did my firstdaddying interview, which is now
the first of 205 suchone-on-one interviews with guys
(09:41):
as young as 16 and as old as 104, from 20 different countries.
And that first interview, whichlasts about an hour and a half,
was in the cab of a pickuptruck in Albuquerque with an all
former Allstate linebacker whohad a gun rack on the back of
(10:04):
this pickup truck, bug heads onthe floor and looked like a
linebacker And I thought whatthe hell is gonna happen when I
use the word daddying with thisguy.
He's gonna open the door andhe's gonna push me right out.
But I discovered somethingdifferent, which is the word
gave him permission to get intouch with the part of him that
(10:26):
was more tender, and from thatpoint on I was no longer nervous
, worried, hesitant to use theword daddying.
So that's where it came from.
Why did I do that?
other than somebody suggestedit?
because of the way my daughtersexpressed the way they felt
(10:46):
about me, but also because Iwish that my own dad had been
more involved in my life.
I knew he would be there in apinch, but like you, i'll bet we
need more than a pinch.
So I kind of devoted myselfvery early in my life that if
(11:08):
and when I become a dad whichwas always the goal of mine that
I would be a different kind ofdad.
So those were really the twomain reasons that I started my
work with daddying, and justthen I'll take a breath and let
you ask fire away.
(11:29):
But you asked about how thatthen became the daddying film
festival.
So the goal was to write thatbook And before I started
interviewing dads, i did it.
Focus groups with the consumersof daddying, like that.
(11:50):
So if you want to improve aproduct, you talk to the
consumers.
So the consumers are kids.
So I did 28 focus groups inthree countries with kids from
five to 21 years old.
The focus groups were like ages, so just span that.
(12:11):
And when I was all finishedwith that research with the kids
and then beginning with thedads, i found an agent in the DC
area who shopped the bookaround and this now goes back 15
years ago And the book wasrejected by all eight publishers
(12:32):
that she shopped it around toAll saying exactly the same
thing No book on fatherhood.
Men don't read, men don't buybooks.
No book on fatherhood is everso well and no one ever heard of
him.
Matthew Krekeler (12:48):
Yeah, it's a tough challenge, for sure.
Allan Shedlin (12:51):
So I had all this research.
I had listened at that point toabout 50 dads And the soulful
sadness that often came out ofthose interviews was something
that I couldn't ignore, and soif a book wasn't going to do it,
then I had to figure out someother way to address that.
(13:11):
And it's not as you said inyour introduction, it's not all
challenging, it's all a delightas well and a lot of fun.
So, yes, it was plenty of goodstuff that came, but it was the
soulful sadness that really gotto me the most.
And I saw a movie called MyArchitect is Son's Journey in
(13:34):
2003, which was an Academy Awardnominee as the best documentary
film, and I found myself inthat darkened theater wishing
that my father, who had passedaway the year before, was
sitting next to me so that wecould have used the film as an
opportunity to discuss issuesthat came up in the film that
(13:57):
would have been very hard for meto bring up without referring
to the film.
That's where the idea of usingfilm as a way of getting to
important batting issues camefrom.
Matthew Krekeler (14:12):
Yeah, that's something interesting to think
about, because even if you reada book, it's kind of hard to
share a book.
It takes a long time and youcan't really consume it
necessarily together.
But sitting down and watching amovie or a short film, you
could do that with your kids.
And I know we watch Disneymovies with our kids or shows or
(14:32):
other things and we talk aboutthose things.
We were also into sports and wejust had the Stanley Cup
playoffs and stuff like that.
So watching those things andtalking about those values like
teamwork, and then oh, why didthat person have to go to the
penalty box or something?
And it brings up conversations.
(14:52):
And then watching movies toowith your kids.
Who's the main character?
What's their goal Like?
why are they in this challengeright now?
Why is this person the meanperson?
What are those traits aboutthem that are not good?
And kids recognize that rightaway.
So I think that's really goodto understand.
(15:14):
I'll throw this movie out, butIncanto was really impactful for
our family And my wife's asocial worker, so seeing it kind
of through her lens too, in theways that each person has their
own special ability, and thenthe main character seems like
she didn't get the same gift aseveryone else.
(15:34):
But understanding those giftsthat like just because we don't
have the same gift as somebodyelse or our gift doesn't seem as
extraordinary, in little wayswe can bring everyone together
And in some ways that's an evenbigger gift than what you see on
the outside.
Allan Shedlin (15:52):
So yeah, i mean that was definitely a mindset
that I cultivated as a teacherof autistic and, you know,
severely emotionally disturbedand learning disabled kids is
finding their, if finding theirasset and being able to build on
it and to recognize it.
(16:13):
So, yes, absolutely, and I'msure Finding Nemo was another.
I don't know if you watchedyour kids, but there were so
many wonderful movies out therefor all the different age levels
And I'm sure you have adifferent discussion with your
four year old than you do withyour baby.
Matthew Krekeler (16:35):
But yeah, and I love the term daddying too.
I think about that and, likeyou know, my most common and
most favorite title is dad.
So my kids are daddy and and Ilove that.
Like father kind of seems soformal in a way, but not that
(16:57):
it's a bad term, but but justthat personal relationship to
someone that it's just simple,it's just familiar dad.
And even like I look at peoplelike the rock who has daughters
and like doesn't matter how muchlike machismo you have, like
(17:17):
how like these people like youmentioned linebackers or all
these like from the outsidetough guys, like the love that
they have for their kids isuniversal And that is just so
inspiring to me.
Allan Shedlin (17:32):
Yeah, and as it is to me, matthew and the and
the whole notion, it's veryinteresting using words like
tough guys and machismo.
So for me, i wish that machismoincluded those aspects of men
that were that are more tender.
Yeah, i've written a good dealabout crying and about that is a
(17:58):
strength and not a weakness formen to be able to do that and
to show it.
Yeah, embarrassed about doingit, so that that may be another
issue, but you know when youwere talking about the term
daddying and dad.
So one of the things I do inworkshops that that I do is I
(18:23):
ask people to give anassociation with two words.
The first word is mothering,you know, and think about what
our association is with thatword, and then fathering, and
think about what our immediatemindset is when we hear those
(18:45):
two words If instead we saymommying and daddying.
One of the crazier things I didat a talk I gave was because I
tend to get bored with my owntalk sometimes that I have to do
something that lightens it up alittle bit.
So I told this large group ofpeople that I had invited a
(19:08):
guest to come.
Toward the end of the talk, iducked down behind the podium
and when I stood up I waswearing a full Darth Vader mask.
I said I am your daddy.
(19:28):
I asked them, as the finalthing, to imagine how
differently that story wouldhave ended if he had been daddy
and not father For me.
That's why I like that word andyou like that word.
Matthew Krekeler (19:49):
Even on medical forums like take our
kids to the hospital and fillingout the forum relationship to
patient, and I'm like right anddad, yeah, perfect, yeah.
So tell me more about just someof the details of the Film
Festival.
This is your second year ofdoing the festival.
Allan Shedlin (20:10):
Well, the second year, but really the first year
of having the forum and havingit live, and it will be very
different.
So last year we did a pilot runof the Film Festival and it was
all virtual.
We were blown away by theinterest that it seemed to
(20:32):
stimulate.
We had submissions of one tofive minute videos by kids from
17 different countries and itblew us away.
We had no idea that that kindof entered.
So this year we decided that wewould do the.
And it was all virtual lastyear And this year we decided we
(20:56):
continue with the virtual.
But we'd also add two things,probably because I'm a masochist
and it was not great that Ifigured okay, we got this, let's
add some other stuff that'llmake it much more challenging.
So we increase the length ofthe film to seven minutes
(21:17):
instead of five.
We opened it up to fathers likeMatthew to submit films, which
we got and I loved your film, bythe way, oh, thank you And we
decided to have two live dayswhich we're calling not a film
festival, but a film festivaland forum.
(21:39):
So it's going to be very, verydifferent than what the typical
film festival is, because thefocus is really more on the
essence of the films rather thanthe production of the films,
and because I've done lots ofwork over the years in New
(22:03):
Mexico.
I've been going out there for 27years now because my oldest
daughter was a bilingual teacherin the Albuquerque Public
Schools, so I was going outthere twice a year and, as a
former educator, spending, ather request, a day in her
(22:26):
classroom focusing on kids whowere a little bit more
challenging, and she wanted tohave my opinion and tips, which
is, by the way, a wonderfulthing if you're a dad that
actually have your kid want youto do that.
Yeah, so that's great, anyway,so it's June 24th, the festival
(22:49):
will be in Albuquerque and theforum will be in Albuquerque,
and in June 25th it will be inSanta Fe.
And what the day will look likewe'll have a welcome by a
couple of different folks, thenwe're going to show a
three-minute film from lastyear's virtual, which I will
(23:15):
send you when we're finishedwith the interview, because I
promise you you will smile fromthe second you open it till the
second you close it.
It's called Dad for Hire and itwas made by an Australian dad
whose 18-month-old daughterinterviewed him for the job of
(23:37):
being her dad.
Oh that's so sweet.
I promise you that you willsmile from beginning 10.
So we want to set the tone thatalthough this is serious, it's
also fun.
And then, after that show, thenwe're going to show the winning
films that the kids submittedin four categories elementary
(24:00):
school.
And your oldest, matthew Kaley,is how old?
She's?
almost four.
Okay, so she's a little youngto submit her own, but we did
have an eight-year-old to submita film last year.
So we have elementary school,middle school, high school and
undergraduate college.
Oh, that's great.
Those are the four agecategories, or grade categories.
(24:23):
We didn't assign ages because,as you know, sometimes now
undergraduate college kids canbe 25 or 27.
Sure, sure.
And then this year we opened itup for dads to submit films, as
I mentioned, and also forindependent filmmakers to submit
feature films if they wanted to.
(24:45):
So after the kids showed theirfilms the five, the four winning
films in those age categoriesand the winning dad film then
we're going to break intodiscussion groups, small
discussion groups, to discussthe issues that were raised in
the films.
(25:06):
Then we'll have a break And, bythe way, dads and kids will be
discussing those together, andthen there'll be a break for a
little bit of a snack, a littlebit of food, and then we're
going to show a full-lengthfeature that was submitted this
year We've actually selectedthat one already which will also
(25:30):
have you smile from thebeginning to the end for an hour
, but also as deep.
So it's a wonderful combination.
And then towards the beginning,so after we show that sort of
one film about dad Pahir of thekid interviewing the
18-month-old, interviewing herdad to be her father or her
(25:54):
daddy, then we have a woman whojust completed her dissertation
at UCLA in and you'll like thisas a film person yourself on how
men have fathers or portrayedin the media.
So she's going to give a 15 to20 minute talk about that,
(26:17):
showing some clips to illustrateher points.
But at the very end we're doingtwo additional things.
One is we are taking stillportraits black and white
portraits of fathers and theirkids, dads and their kids, and
(26:39):
we're calling them commitmentportraits.
So there is going to be a spaceunderneath the photograph to
make a commitment to your childand for your child to make a
commitment to you, and you'reonly getting the photograph if
you do that And you both have tosign it, and it could be
something very simple, likewatching a movie with your kid
(27:03):
once a month or reading anighttime story every other
night.
It's not, we're not looking atgigantic things And for the kids
, you can picture with your ownkids what kind of commitment
you'd like them to make to you.
And then the second thing, atthe very end, is there's a
(27:26):
entity called the Daddy WishesFund, and so we invite dads to
apply for up to $250 to be spenton doing an activity with your
child that you otherwisecouldn't afford to do unless you
had this $250.
(27:47):
And the only requirement isthat you document what you've
done in some way, not because wedon't trust you or we don't
believe you, but that we can putit online so that other dads
might get ideas of things theycan do with their kid.
So those are the things thatend the day.
(28:09):
So our intention is to orcommitment actually is to do the
festival and forum in adifferent state each year, and
we are thrilled to have beeninvited to do it in Pennsylvania
next year.
And there are a lot of reasonsI'm thrilled to do it, one of
(28:33):
which is I can drive toPennsylvania as opposed to
flying to New Mexico.
It'll be a lot easier.
So it'll be in the next yeararound Father's Day like it is
this year.
Matthew Krekeler (28:49):
That's great.
Yeah, i think I was thinkingabout this too, just as a dad to
daughters.
One of my guests said, like hegot the question well, like,
what do you do with yourdaughters?
I think it's sometimes morenatural for dads with sons to be
like, yeah, like we'll go anddo, like fix something or like
or play sports or whatever, andthere's kind of a more of a
(29:11):
maybe a natural connection.
But but my guest was like, well, yeah, you just do what you
normally would do.
It doesn't like.
The gender doesn't really haveto be a barrier in a way that I
think sometimes some peopleunfortunately like see it as
such.
So, like my kids are alwayslike following me around.
Like we fixed our washer dryerone time and then we fixed up
(29:34):
our little like power wheels carAnd it was great like having
them involved in that.
And then, yeah, i love the ideatoo that you're giving dads an
opportunity to spend a littlebit of money to do something, do
an adventure that, eitherfinancially or otherwise, like
they might not make thatcommitment for, but having the
(29:57):
money in pocket with acommitment to go out and do that
, i think is really great.
I'm thinking of a bunch ofideas now with my own kids.
And then, yeah, i'm going tojust do another shout out on the
podcast.
Part of Girl Dad Nation startedas a podcast to have these kinds
of conversations, but I wasthinking of ways to grow the
(30:20):
community, not just online but,like you're doing, in-person
forums, which is great, andconnecting it to a film festival
and all that, and then thisother opportunity for to sponsor
events for kids.
So, yeah, so coming up just ina couple weeks, in May 13th, is
our first event hosted by GirlDad Nation And it's hosted at an
(30:44):
indoor playground And it's anopportunity for dads and
daughters just to come and enjoyplaying with their kids.
I had a guy on the podcast.
We shared stories about gettingin the playground at, like, the
fast food restaurant andbecause our kids are both young
And so we were crawling up tothe slide with them and just
(31:04):
seeing their joy and like usbeing right there in the action,
and so this is an opportunityfor dads and daughters to do
that, but also to meet otherdads, have those conversations.
Yeah, in very positive ways toencourage yeah, really great
parenting and daddying.
Allan Shedlin (31:22):
Yeah, and, of course, how interesting that
you're doing it on Mother's Dayweekend.
Matthew Krekeler (31:27):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's going to be day beforeMother's Day, so like the next
day is completely devoted totheir mom and all of that.
And then, yeah, for that dayI'm going to have some printouts
so that the kids can draw andcolor some Mother's Day cards,
like as one of the activitiesduring the day.
Allan Shedlin (31:50):
So yeah, that's a great idea.
So you know when you're talkingabout, you're a prior guest who
said you know, what do you dowith your daughter?
I was thinking in preparationfor and for our discussion is
(32:11):
would do?
I think I would have daddieddifferently if I had sons
instead of daughters or anaddition daughters?
I don't think so.
I don't think I did stuffuniquely because they were three
daughters as opposed to threesons.
(32:32):
I can sort of see that, atleast in my grandparent thing,
where I have grandsons as wellas granddaughters.
But you know, i did think I'mbig, as you know, obviously,
with the word daddying And Ilike to create terms, you know,
like that, because Z is anotherterm.
(32:53):
But I think about and Imentioned, had differently we
might respond to the wordmothering versus fathering, but
we also talk about daddy'slittle girl And then we talk
about mama's boy, right?
So it's kind of interestingagain, those stereotypes that we
(33:16):
begin to think about back in2000.
It was either eight or 11.
I wrote a piece, a commentarythat the New York Times
distributed called the daddymovement, and I pointed out that
there was a movement.
(33:37):
In my opinion, that is beenhappening underneath the radar.
And it's happening underneaththe radar, partially because the
stereotype we have about howwould a guy create a movement
Right, we probably think it'd bevery strategic, it'd probably
(33:59):
be a little bit aggressive,maybe in your face a little bit,
and there would probably be acharismatic leader of the
movement.
Okay, one of those things havehappened in what I consider the
daddy movement.
They are obvious in other ways,like there's a guy who does a
podcast called you know dad, youknow girl dad, and there are
(34:24):
now we talk about family leave,not just maternity leave, and
you see sports figures youmentioned before the rock Dwayne
, the Rock Johnson, you know,talking in a very tender way
about his girls.
And so it's obvious in so somany ways.
(34:48):
Some are like changing you knowI hesitate using the changing
table.
You know, in men's restrooms,oh yeah, what are you changing?
You changing your kid forsomebody else's kid?
What are you changing?
And I was very excited when Isaw the first signs of those and
(35:12):
they tended to be in airportsactually, but they're also now
in stadiums and they're all over.
But it was about five yearsbefore I saw anyone actually
open one up.
And I was all excited when Isaw somebody open one up until
he took out his computer andlaptop and put it on.
That started working And Ithought no, that's not what it
(35:33):
is, or, but anyway, there arejust lots of ways that the
studying movement exists.
Whether it's you just describingwhat you're doing on the 13th,
that wouldn't have happened 10years ago.
You wouldn't have dads going toreading, you know, storytime at
(35:55):
the library.
You would have had fewer dadsgoing to conferences at schools.
You would have had fewer dadswearing their baby or talking
about you're pregnant, whichstill jorts me a little bit, but
anyway.
So I think the dating movementexists in a way, and it doesn't
(36:18):
need to be in what our mindthinks of as a movement.
It exists.
Matthew Krekeler (36:28):
Yeah, and I like how you sort of describe
the movement going under theradar too and in little ways but
in progressive ways, and thecommitment to being there for
your kids too.
And like the changing tablething I think is a great example
, and I think we still have along ways to go, because
whenever we go to like thelibrary and they don't have a
(36:50):
changing table in the men'srestroom, i'm like what Come on?
Like there's so many areaswhere it could be easily adapted
to give dads more ability to bepresent and to take on that
responsibility with their kidsin very practical ways, like
just changing diapers and stuff,and then also just around the
(37:14):
work environment too, likepaternity leave, family leave,
and then so much of theresponsibility of kids lands on
the mom too.
Whenever the kid's sick, themom even if she's a working mom,
like my wife is typicallybecomes the one that has to
rearrange their schedule or takethe kids to school or whatever,
(37:34):
and so I've been fortunateenough to be able to be in a
position at my work to ask forsimilar accommodations.
So there's a day a week that Itake my kids to preschool and
kind of sharing thatresponsibility with their mom.
But I love it.
I get so much joy and mydaughter loves when I'm the one
(37:55):
to pick her up from school.
It just brightens her day And Ithink providing those
opportunities for dads is justsuch an amazing thing And I bet
it brightens your day.
Oh, absolutely.
I look forward to that day ofthe week when I get to pick her
up and she gets so excited.
Sometimes we get a treatafterwards and then we go to the
(38:15):
park when it's nice, and yeah,that time is just so valuable
And it goes by way too quicklytoo.
Allan Shedlin (38:23):
It does, and one of the things I really would
like to share is that I've beenwriting about dating now for 30
years in different formats, andnow we have this blog that's
almost two years old iscreatively called Daddying And,
(38:45):
by the way, we'd love to inviteyou to do a guest blog, so we
don't do all of the blog, thankyou.
I write two to three a month,and Scott, who reached out to
you, does also about one month,and then the rest are inviting
others to contribute what theydo, and I love, for instance,
(39:07):
the topic of your film that yousubmitted last night about love
growing here and growing lovehere, because it reminds me of
something that my youngestdaughter, who has three children
, said to me when she waspregnant with the third child,
(39:28):
and she said to me that I'mreally worried.
And I said what are you worriedabout, christina?
And she said I'm not sure Ihave enough love left over for
my third child Because I love mytwo sons so much And she's
about to have her first and onlydaughter.
And so, of course, i teased her, which I love to do, and I said
(39:52):
so what order are you in ourfamily?
And she looked at me like sheknew where I was going with it
and she said I'm the thirddaughter and I said did you have
a feeling that I didn't haveenough love left over for you?
And she said, oh, i said so.
One of the things you willdiscover is our hearts have the
(40:17):
infinite capacity to expand justas much as they need to have
enough love for all of the kidsThat we have.
In my case, having been a schoolprincipal And I think I
mentioned this in my note to youlast night A four year old
described my job as a schoolprincipal is the daddy of the
(40:37):
school, and I felt like I didhave plenty of love.
You know that I can share withwith lots of other people, so
that's one of the things thatyou know.
I love that you call that lovegrows here, because because it
does So.
That's just something that Ifeel is important for all of us
(41:02):
to think about.
And the other thing that I wantto mention is that, having
written about this for so longand done so many things that
have to do with that And youknow we we do workshops in the
penitentiary.
Actually, in the onepenitentiary we did was near
where you got your film degree,was the penitentiary in Mexico
(41:25):
and Santa Fe, do a program withveterans, did a program on
Native American Pueblos at theWorld Bank and nursery schools.
So a lot of them and people haveasked me do you think you've
made a contribution to the field?
It's not sort of my mindset, Ihadn't thought about that before
(41:48):
, but it was a fair question AndI think the contribution that I
can take some pride incontributing was noting that not
only is active parentingimportant for your child and all
measures of social well beinggo up when dads are positively
(42:11):
involved in the lives of theirchildren But so is it important
to dance, and there was verylittle writing about that.
So for me the apex, the zinusof that in is when nurturing
your child is nourishing to you.
(42:33):
Yeah, yeah, and that's why Ijumped in and said not only is
it great for your daughter whenyou pick her up at school, but
I'm betting it's also great foryou, oh, absolutely, and thank
you for sharing that too withthe theme of my film.
Matthew Krekeler (42:50):
Just love grows.
here.
And that's what I was thinkingabout is like I shot that, like
you know, two years earlier withmy daughter planting, like
using her watering can andwatering the grass and the
flowers and stuff.
And I was like, oh, that was sospecial, and that was when she
was just an only child.
At the time maybe we werepregnant, but but yeah, just
(43:14):
thinking about how special thatmoment was.
But then now, like two yearslater, she's almost four and she
has two more sisters.
Like just watching them in thebackyard again the same location
but watching her now be able toshare that with her sisters is
just so incredible, soincredible.
And, like you were saying, likeas a parent, now I see that
(43:38):
love isn't finite.
You know, it's amazing how yourlove grows and then, sharing it
, you just increase yourcapacity to love and and I love
my oldest so much, but I loveall of my daughters equally and
and then watching them love eachother has just been the
greatest blessing because, likewatching her play by herself is
(44:02):
so great, but then seeing theway that she shares that and
just the joy that she gets.
She gets so much more joyfulwhen, like she comes home from
pre school and knows that hersister is waiting for her and
and they can enjoy the sameadventures together.
It's just amazing.
Allan Shedlin (44:19):
It is amazing and it's it's kind of interesting
as one looks at it in terms ofstages.
So when you're doing your liveevent on the 13, i will be in
North Carolina for my oldestgranddaughters graduation from.
You can share this with withBecca With her degree in social
(44:45):
work.
So, and I was thinking about,as I'm anticipating that event
And I'm anticipating it's goingto be the definitely the subject
of a blog is I'm thinking backto having been at her nursery
school graduation And I'm justthinking of the different
(45:08):
graduation seasons, if you will.
So her graduating is a fouryear old from from nursery
school and now her graduatingwith a degree, you know,
graduate degree in social work.
It's just really quite, quiteastonishing, yeah, yeah that's
(45:28):
incredible cry just as hard, ifnot more, in her graduate school
graduation as I did from theirseries.
Matthew Krekeler (45:38):
That's so wonderful.
We just have a few more minutes, but I wanted to give you the
floor.
Any other advice for dads orany other thing you want to say
about your festival before I askmy final question.
Allan Shedlin (45:50):
Yeah.
so I would like to let peopleknow that we'll be doing this
again next year.
You know you can attest to it,ain't that hard.
You got a lot of stuff alreadyon your phones.
You know doesn't need to be afinished.
you know Disney spectacular,it's, you know, one to seven
minutes long.
So we usually announce usuallythis is the first full year of
(46:16):
doing it, but we will announceagain on Martin Luther King Day
that we are open for submissions.
And, by the way, when your filmcomes in, i think where your
film is going next is to kids ofthis age that are submitting
films so elementary, oh wow.
(46:37):
They will evaluate the filmsand we've had a training program
for them in terms of evaluatingfilms and then they will narrow
down the 10 semi finalists ineach age group.
The semi finalists, the 10 semifinalists, will go to people in
the entertainment industry andthey will narrow down the five,
(47:01):
and those five finalists will beonline June 4th through the
10th on a YouTube channel forthe public to vote.
And the winner all of thefinalists received $250, earned
$250, and the winner receivesnot an Oscar, not a Golden Globe
(47:23):
, not a Grammy.
They received an Atticus namedafter Atticus Finch from
Tekelberg, who is believed to bethe best portrayal of a,
especially a single dad inliterature and in the movies,
and so they actually received aphysical award with a
mockingbird on the top of thepedestal, and another $250.
(47:49):
So that's something to leavepeople with is to start thinking
about next year's submittingnext year's film, and we're
thinking of doing a specialcategory of films made with
fathers and their kids togethernext year.
That's great, yeah as well.
So you know that's.
(48:10):
and the other is to saber toget to that apex, to get to that
zenith of daddying, which is toallow yourself to be nourished
by nourishing your children.
It is very, very important, andcry.
Matthew Krekeler (48:32):
And, as someone who's made several short
films and stuff like that, ijust want to encourage dads out
there.
It's so accessible now, evenfrom five or 10 years ago.
You have a camera in yourpocket and you can edit it on
your phone or you can edit it ona computer.
But software now is accessibleAnd, yeah, i love watching the
(48:58):
reels that people have onInstagram of things that they're
doing with their kids and just,yeah, dads like me posting
stuff that they're excited about.
So, yeah, i encourage peopleThis came out after the deadline
for this year, but I encouragepeople for next year to start
thinking and start I mean, ihave like 100 pictures from
(49:18):
yesterday of my kids.
So, yeah, just really cherishingthose moments every day.
And then this is a reallywonderful way to honor your kids
by presenting those specialthings and it's a really great
keepsake too.
So when I was thinking aboutmaking this film, i really I
(49:40):
came in like right at the lastminute for the submission
deadline.
It's been on my mind and I'malways like up to the wire, like
doing it, but I was like, evenif I miss the deadline, this is
something that I'll cherish withmy kids forever.
Allan Shedlin (49:55):
So yeah, and they will too.
obviously, as you said, youshowed it to them today, so Oh
yeah, and I recorded themwatching it, which was sweet.
Matthew Krekeler (50:07):
So I recorded them watching it for the first
time and my second.
She's like recognizing oh,that's Kaylee, that's Daddy.
And it was really sweet thatthey got really excited watching
them play and stuff, which iswhat my film is a lot of, just
like the home movies that I shoton my camera, on my iPhone.
So Did you record theirreaction?
(50:29):
I did, yeah, so this morning Irecorded the reaction.
Allan Shedlin (50:34):
So that's your film submission for next year,
because actually, just give a,we'll be exciting and we'll make
this available after, with thepermission of the filmmaker.
But the feature film is a filmdone by a dad with a teenage
daughter who is in a danceprogram And the fundraiser for
(51:00):
the dance studio every year isthat the dads of teenage girls
learn a routine and then presentit at the fundraiser.
That's great.
It's an hour long and it'sworth every minute.
And so I contacted the dad,oliver Ortele, in Pasadena, and
(51:23):
I said to him so what do youthink of if we use your film as
our finale for the on the 24thand the 25th of June?
what do you think about you andyour daughter interviewing each
other about the film?
So I think of this because ofwhat you said So the three
(51:44):
questions that I recommend andyou do whatever way you want.
but is a?
when I told you I was going tomake a film about this, what did
you think?
Because she was 14.
When you saw the film for thefirst time, what did you think?
And now you're a freshman incollege, what do you think when
(52:08):
you watch the film now?
And they asked each other thosequestions and it's wonderful.
So that's, that's a specialintroduction to the film.
So it'll be cool when yourgirls five years from now, you
know look at that film 10 yearsfrom now, and 15 years from now
(52:28):
is the different ways they feelabout it.
So that's great that you didthat.
Thank you.
Matthew Krekeler (52:36):
It's been a pleasure talking to you.
I have one final question, andI ask all of my guests this.
So pretend like you're speakingdirectly to your daughters
right now.
What would you like to tellthem?
Allan Shedlin (52:55):
So what I not only would like to tell them,
but what I have told them and Itell them often, is very similar
to how you began the interview,when you were mentioning why
you started and you talk aboutyourself, and it's what's in my
little bio statement at the endof my blog.
(53:15):
So I have all these academicdegrees and the one that is most
important to me and I'mproudest of is my DAD, and I
know they know that.
So it's just the repeat.
I would not like anybody's kidto wonder how their dad or their
(53:39):
mom feels about them.
So don't be, don't be afraid.
I got a card from my youngestdaughter on my birthday, which
was just a couple of weeks ago,and what she said is thank you
for teaching me how to love.
Matthew Krekeler (54:04):
That's beautiful.
Allan Shedlin (54:08):
So you keep doing your good stuff, Matthew.
that's great.
I'd love to hear how it goes onthe 13th.
Matthew Krekeler (54:15):
That's great, thank you.
Allan Shedlin (54:17):
And maybe you'll do some filming of that, or
maybe other dads will, orthey'll share the photographs
they take on their phones.
Yeah, yeah, and that might bethe blog you want to write.
Matthew Krekeler (54:32):
Awesome.
Well, yeah, i'm looking forwardto that And thank you so much.
I really hope that we can keepin touch And, yeah, i look
forward to the festival.
I love to see what other dadsare inspired to create.
Allan Shedlin (54:43):
Yeah, okay, and thank you for the opportunity.
As you can tell, i'm not shyabout speaking about any of this
, so I'm delighted to have theopportunity, so thanks.
Matthew Krekeler (55:09):
Thank you to Allan for sharing his story and
being part of Girl Dad Nation.
Check out the links in thedescription to learn more about
the Daddying Film Festival andForum, including the short film
I made for My Girls.
It's an honor to have my filmLove Grows Here selected among
so many wonderful filmscelebrating the role of good
dads.
I'll be looking forward to thefestival each year around
(55:30):
Father's Day.
As I mentioned in the interview,video technology is more
accessible than it ever has been.
Most parents have a camera andcomputer in their pocket with
the popularity of smartphones,so I encourage you to capture
the good memories, share yourfamily's story, get creative and
also make things with your kids.
It will mean so much to you andto them.
(55:51):
Thank you for journeying withme.
If you've enjoyed this podcast,please let me know by leaving a
review on Apple Podcasts andsharing the show with a creative
dad.
I'd also love to know whichmovies inspire you.
Is there a film that you lovewith a strong father figure?
Send me a note.
Girl Dad Nation is on Instagram, twitter and Facebook.
You can also email me atgirldadnationpodcast@gmailcom.
(56:14):
There's no greater joy thanbeing a dad.
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