April 28, 2025 • 53 mins
When was the last time you completely dismantled your identity and rebuilt it from scratch? In this soul-stirring conversation, spiritual coach and shamanic practitioner Kelly Sparta takes us on her extraordinary journey from conventional success to spiritual awakening.
From her earliest days, Kelly was immersed in metaphysical teachings thanks to a mother who recognized her daughter's psychic gifts and was determined not to let them be suppressed. By her twenties, Kelly had checked all the boxes of the American Dream – successful career, marriage, home ownership – yet found herself deeply unfulfilled. What followed was a radical act of liberation: she walked away from everything familiar, embarking on what she calls a "drive-about" across 14,000 miles of America, living on $350 a month and the kindness of strangers.
The heart of our conversation explores Kelly's profound shamanic initiation with Grandmother Spider, who delivered a powerful lesson about worthiness that will challenge everything you've been taught about self-value. Kelly describes her experience of "foundational deconstruction" – a three-week period where she lost her sense of identity so completely that she couldn't perform basic tasks – and the surprising gifts that emerged when she allowed herself to be rebuilt naturally.
We delve into the misconceptions surrounding modern shamanism, the nature of spiritual acknowledgment, and why certification programs miss the essence of this ancient healing tradition. Kelly shares beauti
Spiritual guru, two-time #1 best-selling author, and higher consciousness advocate Shaman Isis (aka Cynthia L. Elliott) is on a mission to turn the tide of the mental and spiritual health crisis with mindfulness practices, incredible events, powerful content, and motivational storytelling that inspire your heroes journey! Learn more about her books, courses, speaking engagements, book signings, and appearances at ShamanIsis.com.
Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness.
Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness.
GlowUp with Shaman Isis: An Edgy Podcast for Transformation and Higher Consciousness
Are you captivated by inspiring personal stories, hero’s journeys, and reflections on spirituality's place in modern life? Tune in to GlowUp with Shaman Isis, the bold and uplifting podcast by spiritual rockstar, 2x #1 best-selling author, and veteran podcaster Cynthia L. Elliott—aka Shaman Isis.
Discover more at ShamanIsis.com or SoulTechFoundation.org.
Follow her on social media at:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Shaman Isis here and I am so jacked for our
episode of Glow Up with ShamanIsis today.
I've got Kelly Sparta on theshow spiritual coach,
extraordinary and shamanicpractitioner.
We're going to have an amazingconversation about spiritual
journeys and plant medicine andbeing a shaman.
Kelly, thank you so much forjoining me.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thanks, I'm so glad to be here.
This is we're going to have somuch fun.
We were chatting before thisand I'm just like I'm I'm, I'm
so excited for this, for thisconversation, so we're going to
have a great time, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You guys are going to like this.
We're going to delve into, likeimportant moments along the
spiritual journey.
We're going to talk aboutKelly's journey and we're going
to talk about you know what it'slike to really be in shamanic
practices.
You know there's a lot of talkabout it, a lot of mystique
around it, and I think it's timewe kind of elevated and
(00:51):
modernized our idea of shamans.
Right, kelly?
Yeah, yes, yes.
So you have to just like.
Please take me back to, to sortof like before and the spirit.
What kicked off your spiritualjourney.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
So my mother said I was talking to ghosts in my crib
and so she saw this and she hadbeen psychic when she was a
child and she had shut it downbecause it scared her and she
never figured out how to turn itback on and she was absolutely
committed to the idea that thatwould not happen to me.
And so from as early an age asshe could bring it to me, she
(01:31):
did, and so from the time I wasabout five, six years old, she
started me on seth and ram dasand abraham hicks and jc knight
and you name it.
We studied it right.
She home Est, which is the notkinder gentler version of
Landmark, and she brought thathome when I was six.
And so you know this was justan ongoing journey.
(01:53):
I was, I was doing self-hypnosisby the time I was 10.
I was reading tarot cards bythe time I was 12.
We were doing psychicdevelopment classes and you know
I'm reading books and orderingtapes from the backs of books.
You know, because I'm that oldand the you know.
So I really just I grew up withthis.
(02:13):
And people say, oh well, howdid you know?
When did you start coaching?
And I'm like, well, I have somehigh school yearbook signatures
that read like clienttestimonials.
So you know, this is not what Ido, it's who I am Right at
testimonials.
So I you know this is not whatI do, it's who I am Right, and
so you know.
But, and so I grew up with sortof the metaphysical side of it,
(02:35):
and that was that was reallythe path that mom took me on was
the new age metaphysical path.
It was not the shaman ritual,wicca, all that stuff path those
are very different, right, andit wasn't even energy healing
path.
That was not part of it either.
I'd never heard of energyhealing until I was like 28.
And so I got married at 21 andmarried an atheist, and so we
(02:55):
didn't talk about that stuff.
And except, you know, I broughtall my personal growth work
into trying to fix our marriage,which he didn't meet me in, and
so therefore it didn't fix.
Um, and then I was like, okay,I'm done Right, got to go, woke
up when I was 28.
And, um, and I woke up and Iwas like you know what?
I had this moment of decisionwhere I had to determine whether
(03:21):
I'm going to stay in mymarriage or leave.
And I looked ahead and I waslike if I stay in my marriage,
it's going to be 10 years beforeI come to another choice point
and I'm like I do not wantanother 10 years of this crap.
Right, and that triggered awhole life sort of look Right,
because I looked up and you knowwhen you're working hard and I
(03:43):
was working hard.
Right, because a lot of reasons, but I was working hard.
I was a real estate agent at thetime and when you're nose to
the grindstone you don't alwayslook up all the time.
I was doing a very masculinepath, right, just like do, do,
do, do, do.
And I looked up and I realizedthat I had done the American
dream checklist and I hated mylife.
(04:03):
I, you know, I was done with myhusband.
The dog didn't even like me.
You know the the she was incompetition with it with me for
his attention.
Uh, she would literally roll meout of bed at night.
Um, I had the big house, I hadthe two cars, I was a pillar of
my community, volunteering mytime for running a Habitat for
(04:25):
Humanity, and I had a verysuccessful business and
absolutely none of it made mehappy.
And I was just like you knowwhat when I was a young child,
my mother introduced me to themovie Auntie Mame.
Oh, love that movie, right,rosalind Russell, the only one
(04:48):
1965 or something, and I alwayssaid my whole life I want to be
auntie, mame, without thealcohol.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yes, my mother was an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
So I was like we don't, we don't need to go there
.
So, uh, and I looked at my lifeand I'm like none of this looks
like auntie mame right none ofit.
I'm like because Mame was likethis amazing figure, she she
traveled the world and she hadpositive attitude and she was
just a love and she just lovedeverybody and and cared about
everybody and and she likedinteresting thinkers and
(05:18):
interesting people and creativesand and I was like, yes, those
are the people I want in my lifeand that's what I want to do
with my life.
And I looked around and I was areal estate agent in you know,
sort of this not really high endtown.
I mean not not that it wasn'thigh end, I was, I was in the
Groton, new London area.
What I'm, what I'm saying is itwasn't a big city.
(05:39):
We didn't have a lot of thosetypes of people there.
You know, it was kind of just,you know, a seacoast town right
and um, and my, my partner wasnot with me on the big and
bright and shiny.
In fact, he would give me a hardtime if I stopped for somebody
who looked obviously lost,looking at a map this is the
(06:00):
time frame and and I would stopand offer them directions.
He's like they didn't ask you.
Why did you bother them?
And I'm like because I likepeople and they needed it.
You know, I asked them if theywanted it and if they said no, I
would have wandered off.
But you know that my partnerjust was not meeting me in in
being that person right, and soI just leveled my life.
(06:21):
I threw it all away, I divorcedhim, made him take the dog, I
sold the house, I sold thebusiness, I quit the nonprofit
and I moved out of state with tolive with a bunch of people I
met at the Renaissance fair.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I love this.
Oh my God, how brilliant.
And that's so anti-mame If youguys aren't familiar, anti-mame
was a movie about a wealthy Ithink it's New York City woman
who ends up getting her nephewcustody of her nephew, and she's
a bohemian.
She's very self-actualized,dresses fabulously, she's
stylish and she has self-love,which I think was what you
(06:56):
really see in that movie.
But you don't really get.
I think the reason so manywomen in gay men love the movie
is because it is a person whowould normally be challenged
living the most self-actualizedexistence.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So you just threw everything away and said I'm
gonna go be a bohemian yes,that's exactly what I did and
and, uh, you know, I, I livedeffectively the bohemian hippie
lifestyle for the next you know,decade, right?
So I moved in with these peopleand I, you know, what I didn't
(07:27):
know at the time was that theywere all energy workers and
shamans.
And so I moved into this house.
It was a three story, sixbedroom, four bath Victorian in
North Attleboro, massachusetts,and we would come to call it the
magical house, becauseeverybody in the house was
(07:49):
magical, and so much so that weactually had a set of magical
rules for the house, all ofwhich came about because
somebody screwed something up,right?
So, but the, the, the group Iwas with a working circle, you
know, that's, that's who livedthere.
Um and uh, we worked togetherfor four years doing deep
(08:12):
healing and personaltransformation work during that
time, so much so that, at onepoint, I was doing what I now
refer to as foundationaldeconstruction.
I didn't have a name for it atthe time, but it's where you rip
out the foundation of youridentity.
And, yes, yes, and I did it sobad that, like, there was zero
foundation left when I was done.
(08:33):
Now, if you've never done this,what happens is that you lose
the ability to do all roteactivities, and so I would get
out of the shower with shampooon my hair.
I would forget to puttoothpaste on my toothbrush.
I would literally run intodoorways uh, door frames as I
was trying to walk through thedoorway because I didn't know
where my edges were.
I was unsafe to drive.
(08:55):
I did not drive for like threeweeks because I was unsafe to
drive.
Would you compare this tospiritual?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
psychosis no okay, no , this was just I had.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I had pulled out enough of my identity that I
wasn't sure who I was.
I wasn't, I wasn't seeingthings and being pulled in.
I still had the ability tomanage myself I just wasn't able
to do the rote activitiesbecause those were built on the
foundation of my identity.
We build the rituals of ourlives on our identity and you
(09:30):
know, it's like, oh, I am thisperson, I do these rituals every
day, right, and when you don'tknow who you are anymore because
you ripped it all out, thoserituals fall down and they don't
exist, and so things like beingable to drive without thinking
about it was gone, and I waslike, how about I just don't
drive for a while?
(09:50):
And so you know, when Ireestablished my foundation, all
of those things came back, butfor the moment they were just.
I was kerfuffled right.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
How long?
Can I ask you how long was thatprocess?
About three weeks, oh, wow,okay.
The only reason I ask is thatwhen I woke up I had burnt out
and when I demassed I had anexecutive dysfunction.
I had no executive functionLike every.
I could not keep a Zoom.
I still have challenges withthis.
I could not keep a Zoom meetingto save my life.
I could not put a zoom meetingto save my life.
(10:23):
I could not put a calendarprompt in.
I mean, just like absolutelyall ability to function as an
adult just went out the windowand that and that went on for
like two years.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, that's burnout, and that's how long burnout
takes when you don't know how todo it Right, yeah, um, and even
then, even if you know how, itstill takes a long time
depending on how long you burnedyourself out for yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I've done that too.
So it was 40, it was 40 yearsand it, and then it took.
It took me almost four years toreally get back to where I'm
almost at like full capacity.
Not sure if I want to get tocompletely full.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Yeah and right now there's like all this stuff
going on in the ethers where andI'm hearing this from a lot of
people and I'm having thisexperience myself where, uh, you
are, um, you're going just fine, everything's great, and then
you must sleep now, and I'm.
Are you having that Because Iam having that and everybody I'm
(11:16):
talking to is like that hasbeen going on for about a month
now and I'm like yeah, yeah, Ifell asleep in the middle of the
day yesterday, which is notsomething I do very often.
It was only for 15 minutes, butit was like.
This is weird.
I must lay down.
Yes, it's like I will lay downor I will fall down.
I do not have an option, right,it's not like I can override it
and have a cup of coffee orwhatever.
(11:38):
Nope, Nothing is going to fixit.
Right, you got to lay down, sothat's the, and that's different
than burnout.
That is something that ishappening in the ethers right
now and I I still have yet toidentify it.
I've, quite frankly, I've beenvery busy and I haven't looked
very hard, but at least you'rebeing honest.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know what happens to me.
I've noticed, whenever I havelike a, I'll get dark for a
little bit and I'm like well,I'm not being triggered by
anything.
I know my triggers really well,I will look and the human
resonance is off the chartsEvery single time that happens.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
It's so weird.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Anyway, I want to keep hearing this.
So you went bohemian.
Then you had a few weeks oflike not being able to function.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And then what happens ?
So here's the thing aboutfoundational deconstruction you
don't put it back together, itautomatically comes back
together.
And if you try and put it backtogether, you're going to go
backwards in your identity,because the you that you used to
be is the one who would put itback in place, right, and so you
have to wait for it torecoalesce and somehow,
(12:47):
intuitively, I understood that,even though I didn't know what
the hell was going on um I wasjust like nope, I just got to be
with this and let it.
Let it recoalesce.
And when it did, I was flooredat the things that were left out
, things that had beencornerstones of my prior
existence, like perfectionism.
Right, yeah, it's got be 100,it's gotta be done to 100.
(13:08):
And and perfect, right, thatwas just gone.
You know, there were justthings that were not part of my
beingness anymore and I was likethat's interesting.
I don't know who this person'sgonna be, but it's gonna be
interesting, right, yeah.
So, yeah, that that was myfirst real hardcore deconstruct
(13:29):
that I went through.
And then so I worked with thisgroup for four years.
We, we did a lot of work witheach other and then the the
entire house just sort ofdissipated and people just moved
out of state and you, you know,there were only two people out
of like eight people who hadlived in that house, who were
(13:49):
still around when I was done,right, uh, and the.
So when that happened, Iactually ended up on walkabout,
and I had just learned whatwalkabout was three months
before this happened to me.
It's like, oh.
So if you don't know what thedefinition of walkabout is, it's
walking out into the worlduntil you find yourself, and so
(14:11):
I most people think it's inaustralia and the outback.
But no, the app, this is anaboriginal process that they
they do but, and they do it inthe outback in australia.
But the idea is to walk intoyour world right, and so for me,
my world was the us in my car,and so I called it drive about
right, which, if you listen tomy true yeah, right yeah, so if
(14:34):
you listen to my podcast, Iactually wrote a song from the
journey and that's what theopening and closing of my spirit
sherpa podcast is.
so, uh, it's the song that Iwrote from that journey, and so
that walkabout took me a yearwhere I lived on $350 a month
and the kindness of strangers.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I was all over the country, 14,000 miles.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I love that you're, I'm so excited that you're
sharing this story and andyou're.
Everything you're saying isfresh, I think, for a lot of
people.
I just have to go back for asecond.
So I love that you're talkingabout what happens when you you
have these spiritual experiences, because there's so much,
there's so many people acrossthe planet that are having
spiritual awakenings, andthere's a lot of talk about
things like spiritual psychosis,which is something I understand
(15:21):
.
Um, and burnout, and and andsuddenly going to have to find
yourself.
So that's a process I wentthrough myself.
I just literally I got up oneday and said I can't do this
anymore.
Here's everything I own.
I'm going to leave and go finda way to actually function.
And then spent two, two years,um, really, uh, finding out who
I was, and I think it would havetaken less time except, uh,
(15:45):
except I put myself in a lot ofenvironments where the old
version of me had existed before.
Yeah, and so there was thisback and forth, back and forth
of you know, the, the newversion, the old version, and,
and it took me a little bit, uh,to really like hone in Um, and
then this, this, spending a yearreally walk the walkabout or
drive about as you did.
(16:05):
I think a lot of people.
You see people doing the campervan thing.
I think it's the same samething.
They're getting a camper vanand then driving around the
country for for a year or twoSame idea.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, yeah, um, I was .
Yeah, it was very interestingbecause people were like, oh my
God, you're so brave and I keptsaying, no, I'm not, because I
felt so led.
I wasn't trying to be modest orhumble.
You can't be brave if you'renot scared.
Brave is overcoming your ledand so guided that I literally
(16:37):
had no fear about it.
I was just like, okay, here wego.
And I did the same thing.
I opened up my storage unit andI gave away everything I owned.
And I had one of my students.
I was at her house and therewas a you know bathroom reading
(16:59):
and I picked up a book.
It was Lame Deer Seeker ofVisions, and I opened it to a
random page right after Ischeduled for everybody to come
and take my stuff and the dealwas you could take anything you
wanted, but you had to help mebring the rest of it to the, the
nonprofit, right To thegiveaway.
And and I opened the book andit said the apprentice shaman
just before his final initiation.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
We'll we'll give away everything he owns.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Oh, you just made the hair on my entire body, sand on
end.
Oh, oh shit that's it.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
In moments like that, it's like you really understand
that you're being called andit's like, okay, I the signs and
synchronicities.
I mean it was nuts you know,you're just like people wouldn't
believe the sheer number and ifthey aren't spiritual or been
on that journey, how powerful isthat?
Wow?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, it was.
It was insane, and so you know,from there I went to a festival
and at that festival so manysynchronicities happened that we
could do an entire podcast byitself on it.
So I'm not going to talk aboutthat, I'm just going to
reference them and call it good.
But the thing that was relevantthere was that I was getting a
tattoo and there were a lot ofsynchronicities around that.
(18:10):
That happened as well.
But when it happened I had twopeople I had asked to hold space
for me.
One was one of the people whohad lived in the house with me
and one was the person whosehouse I was planning to go to
after the event, who I had metat the event.
Interesting story is that I hadbeen circling his tent trying to
set up my my tent, not knowingit was his tent.
(18:34):
I had met, it hadn't met himyet and I couldn't find a place
to be near him and I ended upsomeplace else.
But when I went, when I met himand went back to his tent to
grab something with him, I waslike, oh crap, this is who I was
circling right, and so when wemet, he actually walked up to me
and he was a friend of a womanI had made friends with while I
was there and he, you know, shewas like, oh, this is, this is
(18:55):
him.
And he walked right up andplanted a kiss on my lips and
and I was like, and he was like,I don't know why, I just did
that.
And I said I don't know why,it's okay, but.
But it was like, I'm not gonnaoverthink it, and so I had asked
both of them to hold space forme while I got this tattoo,
(19:16):
which was my dedication tograndmother spider who was, who
had called me into shamanism,right.
So when I was all right.
So I gotta tell a little moreof the story.
So when I was in the magicalhouse, at one point I'd walked
into the basement and it's avictorian house, right.
So they, they don't have lightswitches, they have the little
pull switches from the centerthing, right.
And so I.
(19:37):
It was night, it was dark,pre-cell phone where you have a
flashlight on you at all times,right.
And so I'm like walking acrossthe room feeling for this, this
light switch string, and uh, andI I feel like I walked into a
big spider web and I was like,whatever it is that I need, I
(19:59):
don't need it this bad, I'll getit in the morning.
And I turned around and I leftthe next morning.
I got down there, there was nota single spider web in sight,
and I realized that when I hadcome back upstairs there wasn't
a single spider web on me.
I hadn't thought it through atthe time, but there wasn't.
And so I mentioned this to myfriend in the house and he's
(20:21):
like you better answergrandmother spider, because
she's calling you and you don'twant her to do you what she did
to house.
And he's like you better answergrandmother spider, because
she's calling you and you don'twant her to do you what she did
to me.
And I'm like what she did toyou.
And he said she hatched anentire nest of spiders over his
bed and they came down to feaston him.
I'm like, yeah, I'd like toavoid that.
What does that?
What?
does it mean?
What is grandmother spider?
I don't know what's a totem,what's a spirit animal, what's
(20:42):
shaman?
I don't know any of this stuffbecause he was introducing to me
and I'm like I have no ideawhat this is.
And so you know, flash forward,maybe a year later I'm on
walkabout, I'm getting a tattooas a dedication to grandmother
spider, so that I could learn towalk the web of life gracefully
before I learned to weave itright.
And so I'm there at thefestival and the guy wasn't his.
(21:07):
So my two people dropped outwhen I got there because they'd
been up all night at the drumcircle.
And when I got there, thetattoo artists had also been up
all night at the drum circle andwas was asleep.
I had to wake him up for myappointment and he had very
tight appointments.
So if you didn't make yourappointment, you't have it right
.
And um, I had to wait for him tomake his peanut butter and
jelly sandwich for breakfast andI walk into the, the tent area
(21:33):
where he does his tattoos, andI'm sitting there as I'm walking
in, I'm going.
I don't know if I'm really I'msupposed to be doing this
because two people have droppedout.
He's not even awake yet am Isupposed to be?
They're suspended from a singlethread.
In the center of the tent was aspider and I went.
Okay, I meant to do this and itcrawled back up and disappeared
.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Oh, that was a message from Steve.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yes, and so I am getting tingles now too.
So I go in, I get ready, I sitdown.
This random woman comes up andstarts talking to me while he's
getting his stuff ready, and sheand I are chatting and we're
having a good time and whatever.
It's 20, 30 minutes later andand he says, okay, we're ready
to get started.
And she says do you mind if Istay now when you're doing
(22:17):
ritual tattooing?
Whoever was there is gettingbuilt into that too, that their
energy is going into that tattooyeah and I was.
I I surprised myself because Ilooked at her really hard.
I was like and I went yeah, youcan stay.
And and he said, okay, juststate your intention again so
that we're clear about what theintention is.
(22:37):
And I said, well, I'm, I wantto learn to walk the web of life
gracefully before I learn toweave it.
And she said isn't that funny?
And I was like what said,that's what I'm doing.
I spin my own thread and Iweave my own cloth and that's
what I'm here is selling mywares.
And I was just like I startedto cry and he starts to tattoo
(22:59):
and they start to chant and I amgone on my vision, right?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
oh, I love this.
You're making the hair stand upall over my body.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I am out in my vision and grandmother spider comes up
to me.
I'm in this castle, right, um,and it's got stone walls, gray
stone walls, and in the centerof the room, the only thing in
the room other than grandmotherspider and me is this massive,
like four foot circumference.
Well, that is up, uh, you know,like three feet off the ground
(23:30):
and you know, big, huge.
Well, and I start crying andI'm looking at grandmother
spider and I'm like thank youfor deeming me worthy of support
.
I'm so grateful, thank you forsending me the support.
She backhanded me across theroom.
She literally just threw meacross the room and I which, of
(23:51):
course, didn't hurt because Iwas in the spirit world, right,
but, but I was just like, I wasdefinitely shocked.
I was like what is going on?
Right, because you know, spiritanimals, shaman stuff not
always the kindest things, rightthis?
Speaker 1 (24:04):
is.
A lot of people don'tunderstand that it can be really
rough, it can be very rough.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
And she just looked at me and she's like look at
that web.
And when I went to the well,just about a foot underneath the
surface of the well, coveringthe entire well itself, was a
spider web, spider web.
And she said you look at thatweb.
You see that strand right there.
That's that's fraying and needsshoring up.
(24:31):
I said yes, she's like do I askif that needs shoring up and if
it's worthy of it?
no I shore it up because itneeds shoring up, not because
it's worthy of it.
It's part of the web.
Therefore, the web.
It depends upon it being shoredup, just like everything else.
Have you ever asked anybody ifyou, if, if they were worthy of
(24:53):
the healing you offered them?
And I was like no right, get agrip okay oh, this is funny.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah, yeah, you're, you're like okay, okay, okay,
yeah, I'm worthy, I'm worthy.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah, it was.
It was worthiness didn't exist,Right?
That's what she was trying totell me back then.
Yeah, and that's what I tell mymy clients now.
I'm like look, worthiness is aconstruct designed to manipulate
you by people who don't likewho.
You are Right.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
And it's.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
it is completely anathema otherwise, because, if
you think about it, we are allone.
I am everything, you areeverything, everything is me,
right?
If I am everything andeverything is me, where does
worthiness fit into that?
If you already are something.
How can you possibly be worthyof it?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
into that.
If you already are something,how can you possibly be worthy
of it?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
This is one of my pet , my pet peeves with a spiritual
community, uh, uh, as a is that?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
there's so much, there's so much emphasis on this
144,000, which has nothing todo with people and this you know
you're special, you're a chosenone and it's like well, we're
all chosen, like like I get itwhen you first wait, when you
first wake up and you're kind ofa delulu, you know you, you
need to grasp onto some things.
I get that.
That's us still, still deep inour ego and it's like no, we, we
(26:10):
are all chosen, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Well, and sometimes I don't know the 144,000, except
as it relates to Jehovah'switnesses.
But um, I don't know about thatbecause I just don't follow
enough of the stuff out.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yes, it's, it's social media stuff, yeah okay,
let's not supposedly, supposedly, there's 144 000 people on the
planet here to change everything, but it's really more of a
reference oh no, it's 100 000 oh, oh, that saw that on your
website.
Yeah, I wanted to hear aboutthat.
Let's, let's keep going with itthis, where this is a spider,
mother spider, gave you thelesson, the worthy lesson.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
And I honestly have no.
I I have no memory of the restof that journey.
But this, this happens, guys.
Okay, when you go into ajourney and whatever you
experience exceeds yourthreshold of assimilation, right
, it exceeds your ability tounderstand and comprehend what
(27:06):
it is that you saw, or it overlychallenges your identity to see
it right, you will forget it,and you will.
You will think oh, I fellasleep.
You never fell asleep, youexceeded your sphere of
assimilation.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I, yes, yes, I love that, yeah, so I have no idea
what the rest of the journey was, but that was the part that I
took back with me, right?
And so you know, that was myinitiation with Grandmother
Spider, and she has followed meever since.
And you know, big surprise,she's on the back of my shoulder
.
She's followed me ever since Iknew it.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Do you know that?
Okay, you guys who, thespiritual folks and who are
listening to me, are gonnaappreciate this.
So, um, uh, we're all psychic.
It's something that I've beentapped into, like you, since I
was an infant, and as soon as westarted talking, I saw a spider
web on your back and I almostasked you at that moment uh, if
you had this?
We just started filming.
I almost asked you do you havea spider web tattooed on your
back?
And then you mentionedtattooing and I was like, if she
says it's a spider web, I'mgonna be like you know what the
(28:13):
other one is what, what, whatit's.
So I've got to oh yeah, yeah,you know, I just saw a spider
web.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
You only saw the one.
Yeah, well, that's becausethat's a story I was going to
tell you.
But yeah, um, yeah, so and thisis how it works, guys, we, we
get previews of what's going tohappen, sometimes when it's
relevant, right yeah, and so I'mnot surprised at all that that
was something that you saw,right, yeah, um, and so you know
(28:41):
, I continued my journey, Ilearned my things.
There was so much I can't.
So if you're really curiousabout this, I I have.
I kept a live journal.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
This is how I love this was.
It was 2002.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I used to have to stop at internet cafes to be
able to to type up my livejournal, um and um.
So I have translated that livejournal to my website and so if
you go on my blog it says youknow, walk about journey and you
can just follow the wholejourney, but not enough time to
(29:13):
talk about it all here.
It's insanely lots of stuff, um.
But two readers on that journeytold me that I would not
understand the full import ofthe journey for at least 10 and
possibly 20 years.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah, Can I tell you, it's been.
It's a little.
It's a little frustrating whenyou know that you're not getting
the whole thing and you know ifyou're a perfectionist, which
is something I really had towork on Uh, I would.
I'm like you, I was aperfectionist.
It's all trauma, trauma-basedperfectionism.
God, don't judge me, don't findanything wrong with me, because
(29:44):
if you find something wrongwith what I'm doing, then that
will mean I'm not perfect enoughand you can pick on me or say
I'm not allowed to do thingslike.
The whole perfectionism thingis just a whole.
That's a whole podcast in andof itself, all by itself.
Yeah, yeah, I think spiritualjourneys, which is why I'm so
glad you're going into detail.
It's really difficult forsomebody who's still plugged
into the matrix, who's stillplugged into the beliefs and and
(30:07):
they think that the things thatyou talk about when you're
spiritual or you're awake areconspiracy theories.
Like three years ago I did avideo about the death of the
American dream and the fact thatthe politicians and
corporations were destroying thecountry and putting us in
extraordinary debt and it's, andpeople were like they're like
girl, there's not.
The American dream has not died.
(30:29):
You're being cynical and I'mlike I'm not being cynical.
I'm a spiritual person tryingto tell you the truth about a
situation that we find ourselvesand we need to do something
about it.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
And it's.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
It's funny to see, three years later now there's
all this open conversation aboutthe truth of what's been going
on for such a long time, and Ithink that's going to cause a
lot more people to wake up yeah,well, and, and that, and you
know before.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
So I just want to reference, if we're talking the
death of archetypes, becausethat's a, that's an archetype
that's dying right, um and uh,mostly dead at this point and
the?
Um.
I remember vividly the otherarchetype that I saw die, do you
remember?
Oh, now I'm dying to hear.
(31:10):
So it's so funny because weboth said die.
Uh, princess diana, when shedied, she took the prince, the
fairy princess archetype.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
She took that with her yeah, yeah, that you just
gave me chill bumps becauseyou're absolutely right, she did
.
She broke it.
Yeah, yeah, and that fantasy Ithink it's sort of that whole.
She was the fracture in thewhole Disney fairy tale, yeah,
yeah, of a woman who needs to bechosen to be worthy.
She embodied that archetype, andthen she broke it and that was
(31:44):
her purpose on the planet was tobreak it, and that was part of
the, the transition of womeninto their power again, because
the fairy princess was gone,right, yeah, and so in its place
, and you know, in its place,she was becoming the crone and,
honestly, I think one of themain reasons she was taken out
was because of of what she wascapable of as in in her fully
(32:04):
actualized self.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Well, she had dubbed herself the queen of hearts, and
so she stepped out of princessinto queen, which is in
opposition to the actual queenof england, which was not okay.
So yeah, whole thing right.
So, anyway, she broke thatarchetype hard, and so you know
that that's what some people arehere on the planet to do, is to
(32:27):
break the archetypes, right.
So it's, it's a veryinteresting dynamic.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
So, yeah, so much stuff oh, you know, I'll tell
you a couple of interestingpoints on my own journey.
So, uh, those of you who arenew to the show, I woke up in
before the right before theclosures.
I wasn't, what I'd say, fullyvested in my spiritual journey,
but I was awake, going, oh mygosh, we're about to close and
people like kind of close as acountry.
(32:54):
I'm like no.
I'm just, I'm telling you we are.
I'm not asking you, I'm not'mjust informing you.
And I couldn't get anyone tolisten.
And then everything startedhappening.
I was like, oh my goodness,this is out of control.
But anyway, at one point myspirit guides asked me to go uh.
So I was called to to back up.
For a second, I was called toshamanism.
As a teenager, I had everysingle thing happen, including
(33:14):
like five near-death experiencesin one summer.
I was like you guys are reallytrying to get my attention.
Um, uh, car accident, seriouscar accidents, being pushed, not
pushed falling off of a roof,uh, getting trampled by a horse
Like it was insanity.
Going to juvenile uh prison.
It was a prison when it has ahuge steel door that closes.
And uh, at 13, anyway, I wascalled to shamanism.
(33:36):
I had a shaman, uh, uh, move innext door to me and she started
to teach me about, uh, naturalremedies and, uh, healthy eating
and, uh, raw eating, really, uh.
And I was like, no, thank you.
This reminds me too much of thenuns I grew up with and the
orphanage I grew up in.
And so I went running and ittook me decades to finally wake
up, and when I finally did.
It was really a powerfulawakening experience I think it
(33:59):
was for everybody of finallybecoming myself, and I remember
my spirit guide saying we needyou to go out to the, to the
pond lake, whatever you want tolabel it and start to chant to
wake other people up.
And I was like, excuse me, youknow this.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
That's so funny because I tell people all the
time, you'll know you're therewhen spirit starts telling you
to do things that make you go.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
You want me to do what I was like I'm sorry, my
like, my, my, my.
The people who live in mycommunity are already looking at
me like what the heck happened,cause I'm walking along with,
like you know, different makeupand like, with this day's look,
on my face as high as as a kite,and on life and other things.
But you know what can I say?
I was going through my processanyway.
They said they go, we need youto go out to the water, find a
(34:47):
way to float above the water andbegin to chant, that it's time
for everyone to wake up.
And I was like you want me tofloat and chant in my
neighborhood pond where peoplecan see me, and they're like,
yeah, so anyway, it was stufflike that, uh, that I in the
synchronicities, the signs andsynchronicities that come along,
(35:09):
like the number of birds andbutterflies and bees yeah, you
had that same thing I I'mgetting it now.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
I mean, my client also just contacted me.
Like two days ago I had aclient who contacted me and said
there are birds everywhere.
I don't know what's going on.
I've got a little sparrow whowill come here on my window and
like look at me and peck at thewindow every time I'm sitting in
here.
I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
It's so, I believe so .
This is my theory about birds.
So ibises were worshiped by theEgyptians and I think one of
the reasons that they were isbecause and I noticed this
because ibises and heronsstarted showing up when I woke
up and I mean it was crazy howmany were showing up every
single day.
I was like what is going oneverywhere I was going.
It was like even my my friendsaid when you visit me, herons
(35:57):
start showing up.
Like even my friend said, whenyou visit me herons start
showing up.
Anyway, I started noticing allthese ibises and you know, Egypt
was something I had memories ofas an infant and it's been part
of my life, which is where ISIScomes from.
Anyway, the point is is that Ibelieve that the Egyptians
(36:18):
worshipped ibises because theysent somebody who's in higher
consciousness.
They feel energy and they'rethe first alert that there's
something off about someone.
I really think that that's atheory, but I think there's
something to that, and thereason that I came to that
conclusion was that I had beentaking photographs with a 35
millimeter of all the birds andbutterflies and bees that were
coming around, and dragonflies.
Because I was just utterlyfascinated and so present in
(36:38):
those moments, such a beautifultime of my spiritual journey,
really to abandon the old selfand to feel free again and to be
in wonder of the universe.
I think that's the thing thatgets everybody hooked on
spirituality is when you becomepresent again and you're like,
oh my God, look at the wings onthat dragonfly.
Anyway, I was taking picturesof them and I noticed that I
couldn't get a good closeup ofof the birds because they always
(36:59):
stayed just far enough away.
And then one day, about sixmonths after I'd started my
shadow work, I was out, uh,taking pictures, and, all of a
sudden, uh, a gray heron, uh,stayed right where it was and I
was able to sit down on the bankand it was right there, just
like a foot away, and it justhung with me and spread its
wings and allowed me to take allthese amazing photographs.
And it dawned on me all of asudden that I had reached a
(37:22):
level of vibration that was at,uh, at one with nature, yeah.
And so that led me to this ideathat birds, um, sense vibration
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
When we first moved in here and, uh, so we live in
Panama now Um, and when we firstmoved into this house, we had a
hummingbird that came flying inthe door and just flew around
our house for a while.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
so yeah, I love that.
Oh, my goodness, you must havebeen like in a hummingbird of
all things, because they're so,they're so shy of everything.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yeah yeah, well, not so much down here, people feed
them, but yeah, so you, you'vegone through these, these
incredible experiences.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You got the tattoo.
Where are?
Where are you off to next onthis incredible journey?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh, so I eventually made my way back and ended up I,
while I was on the journey, Ihad met somebody and uh, ended
up coming back to Massachusetts,which I didn't expect that I
was going to when I left.
And you know, I came back and Ineeded a job because I was, you
know, I was back and and so Igot a job at a real estate
(38:28):
company doing training andwhatever.
And you know, I continued mywork right, I'm still doing my
work and I remember so I, a yearafter I joined that company as
a manager, I left to start myown real estate training
practice and I opened thatcompany up and on the side I was
(38:50):
doing spiritual classes and allthis other stuff.
Right, sitting with um, I wassitting with a student of mine
in a donut store somewhere Idon't remember which one and uh,
and oh no, we were in arestaurant but anyway, he, he
(39:12):
asked me what's next and myphone rang and I picked up the
phone and this guy is talking tome.
Now I had opened a um, oh, I'vegot this out of order.
This happened before I left,anyway.
Um, I had opened a spiritualeducation and healing center,
and so this was before I left,on walkabout.
(39:33):
But, um, I had opened thisstore and I was doing classes,
right, and one of the classes Ihad done was life after divorce.
Now, I had put it out, I was inmy panic pivot era where I was
like I give something like threedays to work and I go oh, the
universe didn't put the stamp ofapproval on a forehead, so it
must be something else.
So I had handed out a sum totalof maybe 12 flyers.
(39:56):
So I see you recognize that era, right.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Oh, my God, I can't panic pivot.
I'm so stealing that from youbecause I did, I did.
I had that happen repeatedly.
Like I would be going in thedirection, I would think I'd
know what I was doing and all ofa sudden I was like, well, that
didn't pan out and I would turnto run the other direction.
And it was like two years of mejust going and of course,
nothing, of course.
Nothing worked out because Icouldn't stay nothing of course,
(40:20):
nothing worked out, because Icouldn't stay stay focused on
any particular solution, becauseI didn't understand that it was
going to take repetition, right?
Speaker 2 (40:24):
yeah, that's exactly what was with me too, and so I
had handed out maybe 12 flyersfor this class okay, and this
guy is calling me.
He's like who's this?
And I'm like you called me,who's this right?
And he's like I'm looking atthis flyer and I'm like what
flyer?
And he said this life afterdivorce flyer, he said I found
(40:45):
it in my visor.
I don't know where it came from, but I, you know, I, I just
lost custody of my kids.
I haven't slept in two days.
I'm I'm exhausted and I'moverwhelmed and I, I, I just
came out of the courthouse and Isat down in my car and I
flipped the visor, cause I wasgoing to take a nap, and this
fell into my lap.
And I that's why I'm callingand I said, well, I think you'd
(41:08):
better come over here.
And so, uh, you know, he, he,we met him at a donut shop that
was halfway between where wewere and he was, and, and, uh,
you, you know, he proceeded totell me this story of how wolf
had been following him.
And you know, everywhere hewould go, there were wolves
(41:29):
following him.
And he was telling me all thisother stuff that was going on in
his life and it was clear hewas having a shamanic awakening
and that the, the wolves, werecalling him and the shamanism
was calling him and he had losthis freaking mind.
And I'm like okay, you need togo lay down in your car for a
couple of hours, because you arealmost psychotic at the moment
because you haven't slept fortwo days.
Yeah, and so get a couple ofhours sleep, I'll come out and
(41:51):
get you.
And then you know we could talksome more.
And while he's out sleeping, I'mlooking at my student, who's
like oh, my god, what God?
What happened?
Right, I asked what was next.
And then we're here.
How does this happen?
I'm like welcome to my life,right.
And so I go to the bathroom andI'm in the bathroom talking to
spirit and saying I'm on thetoilet talking to spirit going
(42:13):
OK, I'm catching this one foryou, but this is not what I do.
I don't do this, I don't wantto do this.
And they're like no, no, youwere the only person within 75
miles.
I'm like okay, fine, I'll catchthis one for you.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
It's because they're negotiations, right, and so, um,
so I, I I walked him throughwhat was going on, explained the
process to him, whatever,whatever, and sent him on his
way.
But that's one of the sorts ofthings that happen, right Is is
sometimes you just get thingsdropped in your lap.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
I'm kind of feeling like that's sort of like what
everything is, you know, is thissort of like getting dropped in
your lap.
Um, I, with the few minutes wehave left, I would love to touch
on shamanism.
So before we started recording,we talked about plant medicine,
and I'm a big supporter ofplant medicine.
I believe that Western medicinehas basically destroyed
(43:11):
Americans' health and has donenothing but get in bed with fast
food and mass-produced food toturn us all into a bunch of
piggy banks.
And so I'm a I'm a fan of plantmedicine, but as a shaman I
don't.
Really it's not something Ipush.
And one of the biggestmisperceptions I think for a lot
of people is and I I rememberwhen I first started to
(43:33):
introduce myself to people withshamanitis, I would get this
like oh, do you do ceremonies?
I'm like, yeah, I do a lot ofceremonies.
They don't involve what you'rethinking necessarily, and so I
wanted to touch on that, likethat sort of you know, the
modern shaman.
I think people really need toevolve their perceptions of what
(43:54):
shamanism is.
Well, I think for listeners Ihave to just say really quick, a
lot of people like I get peoplesaying, oh, are you indigenous?
And it's like no, I'm not but,but shamans have been in
cultures all around the worldfor thousands and thousands of
years.
They've existed in the irishworld and in the you know
english world, and in the germanworld, and in nordic and and
(44:14):
and in america.
And it's much broader and more,uh, diverse than I think a lot
of people actually understand.
And the word shaman issomething that we, that was
created Western, created tolabel it actually comes out of
Russia.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah, yeah, the term comes out of Russia.
So yeah, but I tell people allthe time you ask a hundred
shamans what a shaman is,they're going to give you a
hundred different answers, andthat's because that's sort of
the nature of shamanism, is that, uh, the the shaman is what the
who the shaman is right, theshaman does what.
You know what that person who'sthe shaman does.
(44:48):
There is no cookie cutterdefinition of shamanism, which
is why, like 15 years ago on, onsome random facebook group
around shamanism, somebody wassaying we need to certify
shamans and everybody who wasactually a shaman is like
laughing their butt off.
Right, we're like no no, youcan't do that, it is not
(45:08):
possible.
But yeah, but there's also thisweird thing in shamanism that
if, if you have not beenacknowledged as a shaman by
another shaman, you really can'tclaim to be a shaman.
You can say it, but it'll godunk, thunk, thunk in your
beingness, right?
You know, for years I calledmyself a practicing shaman, even
though I knew I had all theshamanic skills.
(45:30):
I had not been acknowledged byanother shaman because I had
studied with like 80 differentpeople over the course of my
life and and so no one personcame and said okay, you've
completed the training andhere's the stamp of approval
that says you're a shaman, right.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
And, let's be honest, that's all about money.
I mean the whole, themonetization of everything.
When I hear people say that oh,did you get a certification,
it's like shut up.
Could you please just shut upplease?
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Yeah.
So, um, you know there areskill sets that are required to
be a shaman and you know, ifyou're going to do things, you
need to actually know what thehell you're doing.
You can, okay, and the shamanwho was doing the house clearing
was unpacking his spirit boxwhich was a rubber made tote, by
(46:26):
the way um, and he, he pullsout his eagle feather and he, he
pulls it out and he starts toput it down and he's like
looking at it and it's like thefeather needs to be introduced
to you.
And I was like, okay, so hehanded the feather over and it,
and it's like the feather needsto be introduced to you.
And I was like, okay, so hehanded the feather over and I, I
communed with the feather for amoment and, you know, had had
(46:47):
the introduction, and then Ihanded it back and he said why
didn't you tell me you were ashaman?
Oh, I love that.
That was my acknowledgement,right yeah and I didn't have the
guts at the time to say well,you know, you know I wasn't
until a minute ago, but I justdidn't seem relevant, right, and
(47:10):
so you know, he invited me tobe part of the healing, the
clearing process.
But you know, not everybodygets their acknowledgement Right
.
Yeah, my friend Kathy workedwith a shaman.
She did the whole process andhe never acknowledged her Should
have but didn't, which is kindof the whole point.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
I never acknowledged her should have but didn't,
which is kind of the whole pointI think what we're talking
about is like when egos getinvolved, it's like you know, do
we have to make this morecomplicated than somebody
wanting to just be a communityhealer?
Can we just leave it at that?
You care and you want to help?
Speaker 2 (47:34):
people.
So you know, when she and Iwere working together, I looked
at her one day and I said Kathy,you're a shaman, ah and she was
like oh yeah everything right.
There was like this hugeopening for her.
I I actually just acknowledgedone of my students as a shaman,
uh, like a couple weeks ago,because he he's there you know,
and you know, we've been workingtogether for four years and
(47:55):
he's there and I was like hedidn't ask me if to do it, he
didn't anything.
I just looked at him and I waslike he didn't ask me if to do
it, he didn't anything.
I just looked at him and I'mlike acknowledgement, right, um,
because it was time, right, andthat's when it should happen,
not when somebody pays acertification fee or whatever.
It's when it's time.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that.
That's so important.
I can't believe goodness, I, I,we have just a minute left.
Uh, I know I, I could just keeptalking to you.
I could have this, could havebeen another hour.
Maybe we should do another andpick up.
Let's you know what, kelly,let's do that.
Let's do a part two and pick upand talk about you know
(48:31):
practices and you know where thespiritual world is right now in
consciousness, and I want tohear more about your a hundred
thousand um, for our listenersto part one cause we're going to
do a part two uh, if they wantto find out more about your work
and events and things like that, what would they do?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
so you go to kelly spartacom.
So if you're watching the video, it's on the screen, but if
you're listening it's k-e-l-l-e.
Just e spartacom.
And uh, if you want to get toknow me a little bit better
before you jump in that far, youknow, come and see me on my
podcast at Spirit Sherpa, orSpirit Sherpa podcast dot com.
If you need a website, and youknow, make sure you get the
(49:10):
Boundaries for Empaths programon the homepage of the website,
because that shit will changeyour life.
If you are an empath, you thisis this is going to totally
change the way you experienceyour world.
I can't tell you how manypeople are like, holy crap, I
feel so much better.
I'm like, yes, okay, sodefinitely get that download.
Um and uh, yeah, the a hundredthousand is on the site and I'm
(49:31):
doing free training for thepeople who are part of the a
hundred thousand.
Uh, and the a hundred thousandis the people who are here to
uplevel the planet and you'llknow if you're one of them,
because this was your experiencewhen you woke up.
I you're immediatelyoverwhelmed.
You're like oh, my God, I havethis massive mission.
I don't know what the missionis.
I don't know what I'm supposedto do.
I have no idea what's going on,but I know I'm late.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Yes, that was such an accurate description.
Yeah, no, I know that wholeconversation, that whole feeling
of waking up and being like, ohmy gosh, how am I, how am I
supposed to do this?
Speaker 2 (50:03):
exactly, and so I'm actually doing free training for
people who had that experienceat their awakening.
Um, and I want to be reallyclear this is not a chosen one
thing, right?
Speaker 1 (50:12):
that's it's it's.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
You know, we, we came on to the planet for a mission
and much like being a shaman.
Everybody's like oh, I want tobe a shop.
No, you don't.
You don't want to be a shaman.
It's fucking hard to be ashaman.
Okay, this is not going to beeasy either.
Okay, this is not a chosen one.
This is a.
We came in because we had amission to fulfill and we chose
this path, and so I'm teachingpeople how to uh hold their
(50:35):
energy, expand their energy andbe able to connect to one
another to create the gridthat's necessary to blanket the
planet.
And I'm doing that free, sothat's also on the homepage of
the website.
You can join the discord serverwhere we were organizing that.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Ah, I love that.
Oh my gosh, you guys heard itright here.
Talk about a lot to to learn onher website, visit
kellyspartacom, and we'redefinitely going to do a part
two because there were so manythings that we didn't get a
chance to cover today.
If this is your first time here, I am spiritual teacher and
three-time bestselling author,shaman Isis, also known as
Cynthia Elliott.
To my friends and family, ifyou've never visited my website,
(51:09):
go check it out shamanisiscom.
If you're curious about mybooks, you can find them there.
Any events that I have comingup, you can find them there.
Um, as well as the my magazine,soul tech magazine, and um.
Of course, you can always visitsoul tech foundationorg to
learn about the work that we'redoing to help raise human
consciousness on the planet.
If you're not alreadysubscribed, please subscribe,
because this is intelligentlistening and high vibrational
(51:32):
uh uh energy to to enjoy yourday with um.
Love you guys.
Have an amazing week.
I will be back with anotherepisode soon enough and thanks
you guys, and have a good one.
It's Shaman Isis here and I am so jacked for our
episode of Glow Up with ShamanIsis today.
I've got Kelly Sparta on theshow spiritual coach,
extraordinary and shamanicpractitioner.
We're going to have an amazingconversation about spiritual
journeys and plant medicine andbeing a shaman.
Kelly, thank you so much forjoining me.
Welcome to the show.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Thanks, I'm so glad to be here.
This is we're going to have somuch fun.
We were chatting before thisand I'm just like I'm I'm, I'm
so excited for this, for thisconversation, so we're going to
have a great time, yeah.
Speaker 1 (00:30):
You guys are going to like this.
We're going to delve into, likeimportant moments along the
spiritual journey.
We're going to talk aboutKelly's journey and we're going
to talk about you know what it'slike to really be in shamanic
practices.
You know there's a lot of talkabout it, a lot of mystique
around it, and I think it's timewe kind of elevated and
(00:51):
modernized our idea of shamans.
Right, kelly?
Yeah, yes, yes.
So you have to just like.
Please take me back to, to sortof like before and the spirit.
What kicked off your spiritualjourney.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
So my mother said I was talking to ghosts in my crib
and so she saw this and she hadbeen psychic when she was a
child and she had shut it downbecause it scared her and she
never figured out how to turn itback on and she was absolutely
committed to the idea that thatwould not happen to me.
And so from as early an age asshe could bring it to me, she
(01:31):
did, and so from the time I wasabout five, six years old, she
started me on seth and ram dasand abraham hicks and jc knight
and you name it.
We studied it right.
She home Est, which is the notkinder gentler version of
Landmark, and she brought thathome when I was six.
And so you know this was justan ongoing journey.
(01:53):
I was, I was doing self-hypnosisby the time I was 10.
I was reading tarot cards bythe time I was 12.
We were doing psychicdevelopment classes and you know
I'm reading books and orderingtapes from the backs of books.
You know, because I'm that oldand the you know.
So I really just I grew up withthis.
(02:13):
And people say, oh well, howdid you know?
When did you start coaching?
And I'm like, well, I have somehigh school yearbook signatures
that read like clienttestimonials.
So you know, this is not what Ido, it's who I am Right at
testimonials.
So I you know this is not whatI do, it's who I am Right, and
so you know.
But, and so I grew up with sortof the metaphysical side of it,
(02:35):
and that was that was reallythe path that mom took me on was
the new age metaphysical path.
It was not the shaman ritual,wicca, all that stuff path those
are very different, right, andit wasn't even energy healing
path.
That was not part of it either.
I'd never heard of energyhealing until I was like 28.
And so I got married at 21 andmarried an atheist, and so we
(02:55):
didn't talk about that stuff.
And except, you know, I broughtall my personal growth work
into trying to fix our marriage,which he didn't meet me in, and
so therefore it didn't fix.
Um, and then I was like, okay,I'm done Right, got to go, woke
up when I was 28.
And, um, and I woke up and Iwas like you know what?
I had this moment of decisionwhere I had to determine whether
(03:21):
I'm going to stay in mymarriage or leave.
And I looked ahead and I waslike if I stay in my marriage,
it's going to be 10 years beforeI come to another choice point
and I'm like I do not wantanother 10 years of this crap.
Right, and that triggered awhole life sort of look Right,
because I looked up and you knowwhen you're working hard and I
(03:43):
was working hard.
Right, because a lot of reasons, but I was working hard.
I was a real estate agent at thetime and when you're nose to
the grindstone you don't alwayslook up all the time.
I was doing a very masculinepath, right, just like do, do,
do, do, do.
And I looked up and I realizedthat I had done the American
dream checklist and I hated mylife.
(04:03):
I, you know, I was done with myhusband.
The dog didn't even like me.
You know the the she was incompetition with it with me for
his attention.
Uh, she would literally roll meout of bed at night.
Um, I had the big house, I hadthe two cars, I was a pillar of
my community, volunteering mytime for running a Habitat for
(04:25):
Humanity, and I had a verysuccessful business and
absolutely none of it made mehappy.
And I was just like you knowwhat when I was a young child,
my mother introduced me to themovie Auntie Mame.
Oh, love that movie, right,rosalind Russell, the only one
(04:48):
1965 or something, and I alwayssaid my whole life I want to be
auntie, mame, without thealcohol.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yes, my mother was an alcoholic.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
So I was like we don't, we don't need to go there
.
So, uh, and I looked at my lifeand I'm like none of this looks
like auntie mame right none ofit.
I'm like because Mame was likethis amazing figure, she she
traveled the world and she hadpositive attitude and she was
just a love and she just lovedeverybody and and cared about
everybody and and she likedinteresting thinkers and
(05:18):
interesting people and creativesand and I was like, yes, those
are the people I want in my lifeand that's what I want to do
with my life.
And I looked around and I was areal estate agent in you know,
sort of this not really high endtown.
I mean not not that it wasn'thigh end, I was, I was in the
Groton, new London area.
What I'm, what I'm saying is itwasn't a big city.
(05:39):
We didn't have a lot of thosetypes of people there.
You know, it was kind of just,you know, a seacoast town right
and um, and my, my partner wasnot with me on the big and
bright and shiny.
In fact, he would give me a hardtime if I stopped for somebody
who looked obviously lost,looking at a map this is the
(06:00):
time frame and and I would stopand offer them directions.
He's like they didn't ask you.
Why did you bother them?
And I'm like because I likepeople and they needed it.
You know, I asked them if theywanted it and if they said no, I
would have wandered off.
But you know that my partnerjust was not meeting me in in
being that person right, and soI just leveled my life.
(06:21):
I threw it all away, I divorcedhim, made him take the dog, I
sold the house, I sold thebusiness, I quit the nonprofit
and I moved out of state with tolive with a bunch of people I
met at the Renaissance fair.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
I love this.
Oh my God, how brilliant.
And that's so anti-mame If youguys aren't familiar, anti-mame
was a movie about a wealthy Ithink it's New York City woman
who ends up getting her nephewcustody of her nephew, and she's
a bohemian.
She's very self-actualized,dresses fabulously, she's
stylish and she has self-love,which I think was what you
(06:56):
really see in that movie.
But you don't really get.
I think the reason so manywomen in gay men love the movie
is because it is a person whowould normally be challenged
living the most self-actualizedexistence.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So you just threw everything away and said I'm
gonna go be a bohemian yes,that's exactly what I did and
and, uh, you know, I, I livedeffectively the bohemian hippie
lifestyle for the next you know,decade, right?
So I moved in with these peopleand I, you know, what I didn't
(07:27):
know at the time was that theywere all energy workers and
shamans.
And so I moved into this house.
It was a three story, sixbedroom, four bath Victorian in
North Attleboro, massachusetts,and we would come to call it the
magical house, becauseeverybody in the house was
(07:49):
magical, and so much so that weactually had a set of magical
rules for the house, all ofwhich came about because
somebody screwed something up,right?
So, but the, the, the group Iwas with a working circle, you
know, that's, that's who livedthere.
Um and uh, we worked togetherfor four years doing deep
(08:12):
healing and personaltransformation work during that
time, so much so that, at onepoint, I was doing what I now
refer to as foundationaldeconstruction.
I didn't have a name for it atthe time, but it's where you rip
out the foundation of youridentity.
And, yes, yes, and I did it sobad that, like, there was zero
foundation left when I was done.
(08:33):
Now, if you've never done this,what happens is that you lose
the ability to do all roteactivities, and so I would get
out of the shower with shampooon my hair.
I would forget to puttoothpaste on my toothbrush.
I would literally run intodoorways uh, door frames as I
was trying to walk through thedoorway because I didn't know
where my edges were.
I was unsafe to drive.
(08:55):
I did not drive for like threeweeks because I was unsafe to
drive.
Would you compare this tospiritual?
Speaker 1 (09:01):
psychosis no okay, no , this was just I had.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I had pulled out enough of my identity that I
wasn't sure who I was.
I wasn't, I wasn't seeingthings and being pulled in.
I still had the ability tomanage myself I just wasn't able
to do the rote activitiesbecause those were built on the
foundation of my identity.
We build the rituals of ourlives on our identity and you
(09:30):
know, it's like, oh, I am thisperson, I do these rituals every
day, right, and when you don'tknow who you are anymore because
you ripped it all out, thoserituals fall down and they don't
exist, and so things like beingable to drive without thinking
about it was gone, and I waslike, how about I just don't
drive for a while?
(09:50):
And so you know, when Ireestablished my foundation, all
of those things came back, butfor the moment they were just.
I was kerfuffled right.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
How long?
Can I ask you how long was thatprocess?
About three weeks, oh, wow,okay.
The only reason I ask is thatwhen I woke up I had burnt out
and when I demassed I had anexecutive dysfunction.
I had no executive functionLike every.
I could not keep a Zoom.
I still have challenges withthis.
I could not keep a Zoom meetingto save my life.
I could not put a zoom meetingto save my life.
(10:23):
I could not put a calendarprompt in.
I mean, just like absolutelyall ability to function as an
adult just went out the windowand that and that went on for
like two years.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
Yeah, that's burnout, and that's how long burnout
takes when you don't know how todo it Right, yeah, um, and even
then, even if you know how, itstill takes a long time
depending on how long you burnedyourself out for yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
I've done that too.
So it was 40, it was 40 yearsand it, and then it took.
It took me almost four years toreally get back to where I'm
almost at like full capacity.
Not sure if I want to get tocompletely full.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Yeah and right now there's like all this stuff
going on in the ethers where andI'm hearing this from a lot of
people and I'm having thisexperience myself where, uh, you
are, um, you're going just fine, everything's great, and then
you must sleep now, and I'm.
Are you having that Because Iam having that and everybody I'm
(11:16):
talking to is like that hasbeen going on for about a month
now and I'm like yeah, yeah, Ifell asleep in the middle of the
day yesterday, which is notsomething I do very often.
It was only for 15 minutes, butit was like.
This is weird.
I must lay down.
Yes, it's like I will lay downor I will fall down.
I do not have an option, right,it's not like I can override it
and have a cup of coffee orwhatever.
(11:38):
Nope, Nothing is going to fixit.
Right, you got to lay down, sothat's the, and that's different
than burnout.
That is something that ishappening in the ethers right
now and I I still have yet toidentify it.
I've, quite frankly, I've beenvery busy and I haven't looked
very hard, but at least you'rebeing honest.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
You know what happens to me.
I've noticed, whenever I havelike a, I'll get dark for a
little bit and I'm like well,I'm not being triggered by
anything.
I know my triggers really well,I will look and the human
resonance is off the chartsEvery single time that happens.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
It's so weird.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
Anyway, I want to keep hearing this.
So you went bohemian.
Then you had a few weeks oflike not being able to function.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
And then what happens ?
So here's the thing aboutfoundational deconstruction you
don't put it back together, itautomatically comes back
together.
And if you try and put it backtogether, you're going to go
backwards in your identity,because the you that you used to
be is the one who would put itback in place, right, and so you
have to wait for it torecoalesce and somehow,
(12:47):
intuitively, I understood that,even though I didn't know what
the hell was going on um I wasjust like nope, I just got to be
with this and let it.
Let it recoalesce.
And when it did, I was flooredat the things that were left out
, things that had beencornerstones of my prior
existence, like perfectionism.
Right, yeah, it's got be 100,it's gotta be done to 100.
(13:08):
And and perfect, right, thatwas just gone.
You know, there were justthings that were not part of my
beingness anymore and I was likethat's interesting.
I don't know who this person'sgonna be, but it's gonna be
interesting, right, yeah.
So, yeah, that that was myfirst real hardcore deconstruct
(13:29):
that I went through.
And then so I worked with thisgroup for four years.
We, we did a lot of work witheach other and then the the
entire house just sort ofdissipated and people just moved
out of state and you, you know,there were only two people out
of like eight people who hadlived in that house, who were
(13:49):
still around when I was done,right, uh, and the.
So when that happened, Iactually ended up on walkabout,
and I had just learned whatwalkabout was three months
before this happened to me.
It's like, oh.
So if you don't know what thedefinition of walkabout is, it's
walking out into the worlduntil you find yourself, and so
(14:11):
I most people think it's inaustralia and the outback.
But no, the app, this is anaboriginal process that they
they do but, and they do it inthe outback in australia.
But the idea is to walk intoyour world right, and so for me,
my world was the us in my car,and so I called it drive about
right, which, if you listen tomy true yeah, right yeah, so if
(14:34):
you listen to my podcast, Iactually wrote a song from the
journey and that's what theopening and closing of my spirit
sherpa podcast is.
so, uh, it's the song that Iwrote from that journey, and so
that walkabout took me a yearwhere I lived on $350 a month
and the kindness of strangers.
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah, and so.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
I was all over the country, 14,000 miles.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I love that you're, I'm so excited that you're
sharing this story and andyou're.
Everything you're saying isfresh, I think, for a lot of
people.
I just have to go back for asecond.
So I love that you're talkingabout what happens when you you
have these spiritual experiences, because there's so much,
there's so many people acrossthe planet that are having
spiritual awakenings, andthere's a lot of talk about
things like spiritual psychosis,which is something I understand
(15:21):
.
Um, and burnout, and and andsuddenly going to have to find
yourself.
So that's a process I wentthrough myself.
I just literally I got up oneday and said I can't do this
anymore.
Here's everything I own.
I'm going to leave and go finda way to actually function.
And then spent two, two years,um, really, uh, finding out who
I was, and I think it would havetaken less time except, uh,
(15:45):
except I put myself in a lot ofenvironments where the old
version of me had existed before.
Yeah, and so there was thisback and forth, back and forth
of you know, the, the newversion, the old version, and,
and it took me a little bit, uh,to really like hone in Um, and
then this, this, spending a yearreally walk the walkabout or
drive about as you did.
(16:05):
I think a lot of people.
You see people doing the campervan thing.
I think it's the same samething.
They're getting a camper vanand then driving around the
country for for a year or twoSame idea.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Yeah, yeah, um, I was .
Yeah, it was very interestingbecause people were like, oh my
God, you're so brave and I keptsaying, no, I'm not, because I
felt so led.
I wasn't trying to be modest orhumble.
You can't be brave if you'renot scared.
Brave is overcoming your ledand so guided that I literally
(16:37):
had no fear about it.
I was just like, okay, here wego.
And I did the same thing.
I opened up my storage unit andI gave away everything I owned.
And I had one of my students.
I was at her house and therewas a you know bathroom reading
(16:59):
and I picked up a book.
It was Lame Deer Seeker ofVisions, and I opened it to a
random page right after Ischeduled for everybody to come
and take my stuff and the dealwas you could take anything you
wanted, but you had to help mebring the rest of it to the, the
nonprofit, right To thegiveaway.
And and I opened the book andit said the apprentice shaman
just before his final initiation.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
We'll we'll give away everything he owns.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
Oh, you just made the hair on my entire body, sand on
end.
Oh, oh shit that's it.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
In moments like that, it's like you really understand
that you're being called andit's like, okay, I the signs and
synchronicities.
I mean it was nuts you know,you're just like people wouldn't
believe the sheer number and ifthey aren't spiritual or been
on that journey, how powerful isthat?
Wow?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, it was.
It was insane, and so you know,from there I went to a festival
and at that festival so manysynchronicities happened that we
could do an entire podcast byitself on it.
So I'm not going to talk aboutthat, I'm just going to
reference them and call it good.
But the thing that was relevantthere was that I was getting a
tattoo and there were a lot ofsynchronicities around that.
(18:10):
That happened as well.
But when it happened I had twopeople I had asked to hold space
for me.
One was one of the people whohad lived in the house with me
and one was the person whosehouse I was planning to go to
after the event, who I had metat the event.
Interesting story is that I hadbeen circling his tent trying to
set up my my tent, not knowingit was his tent.
(18:34):
I had met, it hadn't met himyet and I couldn't find a place
to be near him and I ended upsomeplace else.
But when I went, when I met himand went back to his tent to
grab something with him, I waslike, oh crap, this is who I was
circling right, and so when wemet, he actually walked up to me
and he was a friend of a womanI had made friends with while I
was there and he, you know, shewas like, oh, this is, this is
(18:55):
him.
And he walked right up andplanted a kiss on my lips and
and I was like, and he was like,I don't know why, I just did
that.
And I said I don't know why,it's okay, but.
But it was like, I'm not gonnaoverthink it, and so I had asked
both of them to hold space forme while I got this tattoo,
(19:16):
which was my dedication tograndmother spider who was, who
had called me into shamanism,right.
So when I was all right.
So I gotta tell a little moreof the story.
So when I was in the magicalhouse, at one point I'd walked
into the basement and it's avictorian house, right.
So they, they don't have lightswitches, they have the little
pull switches from the centerthing, right.
And so I.
(19:37):
It was night, it was dark,pre-cell phone where you have a
flashlight on you at all times,right.
And so I'm like walking acrossthe room feeling for this, this
light switch string, and uh, andI I feel like I walked into a
big spider web and I was like,whatever it is that I need, I
(19:59):
don't need it this bad, I'll getit in the morning.
And I turned around and I leftthe next morning.
I got down there, there was nota single spider web in sight,
and I realized that when I hadcome back upstairs there wasn't
a single spider web on me.
I hadn't thought it through atthe time, but there wasn't.
And so I mentioned this to myfriend in the house and he's
(20:21):
like you better answergrandmother spider, because
she's calling you and you don'twant her to do you what she did
to house.
And he's like you better answergrandmother spider, because
she's calling you and you don'twant her to do you what she did
to me.
And I'm like what she did toyou.
And he said she hatched anentire nest of spiders over his
bed and they came down to feaston him.
I'm like, yeah, I'd like toavoid that.
What does that?
What?
does it mean?
What is grandmother spider?
I don't know what's a totem,what's a spirit animal, what's
(20:42):
shaman?
I don't know any of this stuffbecause he was introducing to me
and I'm like I have no ideawhat this is.
And so you know, flash forward,maybe a year later I'm on
walkabout, I'm getting a tattooas a dedication to grandmother
spider, so that I could learn towalk the web of life gracefully
before I learned to weave itright.
And so I'm there at thefestival and the guy wasn't his.
(21:07):
So my two people dropped outwhen I got there because they'd
been up all night at the drumcircle.
And when I got there, thetattoo artists had also been up
all night at the drum circle andwas was asleep.
I had to wake him up for myappointment and he had very
tight appointments.
So if you didn't make yourappointment, you't have it right
.
And um, I had to wait for him tomake his peanut butter and
jelly sandwich for breakfast andI walk into the, the tent area
(21:33):
where he does his tattoos, andI'm sitting there as I'm walking
in, I'm going.
I don't know if I'm really I'msupposed to be doing this
because two people have droppedout.
He's not even awake yet am Isupposed to be?
They're suspended from a singlethread.
In the center of the tent was aspider and I went.
Okay, I meant to do this and itcrawled back up and disappeared
.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
Oh, that was a message from Steve.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Right.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Yes, and so I am getting tingles now too.
So I go in, I get ready, I sitdown.
This random woman comes up andstarts talking to me while he's
getting his stuff ready, and sheand I are chatting and we're
having a good time and whatever.
It's 20, 30 minutes later andand he says, okay, we're ready
to get started.
And she says do you mind if Istay now when you're doing
(22:17):
ritual tattooing?
Whoever was there is gettingbuilt into that too, that their
energy is going into that tattooyeah and I was.
I I surprised myself because Ilooked at her really hard.
I was like and I went yeah, youcan stay.
And and he said, okay, juststate your intention again so
that we're clear about what theintention is.
(22:37):
And I said, well, I'm, I wantto learn to walk the web of life
gracefully before I learn toweave it.
And she said isn't that funny?
And I was like what said,that's what I'm doing.
I spin my own thread and Iweave my own cloth and that's
what I'm here is selling mywares.
And I was just like I startedto cry and he starts to tattoo
(22:59):
and they start to chant and I amgone on my vision, right?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
oh, I love this.
You're making the hair stand upall over my body.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
I am out in my vision and grandmother spider comes up
to me.
I'm in this castle, right, um,and it's got stone walls, gray
stone walls, and in the centerof the room, the only thing in
the room other than grandmotherspider and me is this massive,
like four foot circumference.
Well, that is up, uh, you know,like three feet off the ground
(23:30):
and you know, big, huge.
Well, and I start crying andI'm looking at grandmother
spider and I'm like thank youfor deeming me worthy of support
.
I'm so grateful, thank you forsending me the support.
She backhanded me across theroom.
She literally just threw meacross the room and I which, of
(23:51):
course, didn't hurt because Iwas in the spirit world, right,
but, but I was just like, I wasdefinitely shocked.
I was like what is going on?
Right, because you know, spiritanimals, shaman stuff not
always the kindest things, rightthis?
Speaker 1 (24:04):
is.
A lot of people don'tunderstand that it can be really
rough, it can be very rough.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
And she just looked at me and she's like look at
that web.
And when I went to the well,just about a foot underneath the
surface of the well, coveringthe entire well itself, was a
spider web, spider web.
And she said you look at thatweb.
You see that strand right there.
That's that's fraying and needsshoring up.
(24:31):
I said yes, she's like do I askif that needs shoring up and if
it's worthy of it?
no I shore it up because itneeds shoring up, not because
it's worthy of it.
It's part of the web.
Therefore, the web.
It depends upon it being shoredup, just like everything else.
Have you ever asked anybody ifyou, if, if they were worthy of
(24:53):
the healing you offered them?
And I was like no right, get agrip okay oh, this is funny.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah, yeah, you're, you're like okay, okay, okay,
yeah, I'm worthy, I'm worthy.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yeah, it was.
It was worthiness didn't exist,Right?
That's what she was trying totell me back then.
Yeah, and that's what I tell mymy clients now.
I'm like look, worthiness is aconstruct designed to manipulate
you by people who don't likewho.
You are Right.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
And it's.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
it is completely anathema otherwise, because, if
you think about it, we are allone.
I am everything, you areeverything, everything is me,
right?
If I am everything andeverything is me, where does
worthiness fit into that?
If you already are something.
How can you possibly be worthyof it?
Speaker 1 (25:45):
into that.
If you already are something,how can you possibly be worthy
of it?
Speaker 2 (25:47):
This is one of my pet , my pet peeves with a spiritual
community, uh, uh, as a is that?
Speaker 1 (25:49):
there's so much, there's so much emphasis on this
144,000, which has nothing todo with people and this you know
you're special, you're a chosenone and it's like well, we're
all chosen, like like I get itwhen you first wait, when you
first wake up and you're kind ofa delulu, you know you, you
need to grasp onto some things.
I get that.
That's us still, still deep inour ego and it's like no, we, we
(26:10):
are all chosen, yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
Well, and sometimes I don't know the 144,000, except
as it relates to Jehovah'switnesses.
But um, I don't know about thatbecause I just don't follow
enough of the stuff out.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yes, it's, it's social media stuff, yeah okay,
let's not supposedly, supposedly, there's 144 000 people on the
planet here to change everything, but it's really more of a
reference oh no, it's 100 000 oh, oh, that saw that on your
website.
Yeah, I wanted to hear aboutthat.
Let's, let's keep going with itthis, where this is a spider,
mother spider, gave you thelesson, the worthy lesson.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
And I honestly have no.
I I have no memory of the restof that journey.
But this, this happens, guys.
Okay, when you go into ajourney and whatever you
experience exceeds yourthreshold of assimilation, right
, it exceeds your ability tounderstand and comprehend what
(27:06):
it is that you saw, or it overlychallenges your identity to see
it right, you will forget it,and you will.
You will think oh, I fellasleep.
You never fell asleep, youexceeded your sphere of
assimilation.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
I, yes, yes, I love that, yeah, so I have no idea
what the rest of the journey was, but that was the part that I
took back with me, right?
And so you know, that was myinitiation with Grandmother
Spider, and she has followed meever since.
And you know, big surprise,she's on the back of my shoulder
.
She's followed me ever since Iknew it.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Do you know that?
Okay, you guys who, thespiritual folks and who are
listening to me, are gonnaappreciate this.
So, um, uh, we're all psychic.
It's something that I've beentapped into, like you, since I
was an infant, and as soon as westarted talking, I saw a spider
web on your back and I almostasked you at that moment uh, if
you had this?
We just started filming.
I almost asked you do you havea spider web tattooed on your
back?
And then you mentionedtattooing and I was like, if she
says it's a spider web, I'mgonna be like you know what the
(28:13):
other one is what, what, whatit's.
So I've got to oh yeah, yeah,you know, I just saw a spider
web.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
You only saw the one.
Yeah, well, that's becausethat's a story I was going to
tell you.
But yeah, um, yeah, so and thisis how it works, guys, we, we
get previews of what's going tohappen, sometimes when it's
relevant, right yeah, and so I'mnot surprised at all that that
was something that you saw,right, yeah, um, and so you know
(28:41):
, I continued my journey, Ilearned my things.
There was so much I can't.
So if you're really curiousabout this, I I have.
I kept a live journal.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
This is how I love this was.
It was 2002.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
I used to have to stop at internet cafes to be
able to to type up my livejournal, um and um.
So I have translated that livejournal to my website and so if
you go on my blog it says youknow, walk about journey and you
can just follow the wholejourney, but not enough time to
(29:13):
talk about it all here.
It's insanely lots of stuff, um.
But two readers on that journeytold me that I would not
understand the full import ofthe journey for at least 10 and
possibly 20 years.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Yeah, Can I tell you, it's been.
It's a little.
It's a little frustrating whenyou know that you're not getting
the whole thing and you know ifyou're a perfectionist, which
is something I really had towork on Uh, I would.
I'm like you, I was aperfectionist.
It's all trauma, trauma-basedperfectionism.
God, don't judge me, don't findanything wrong with me, because
(29:44):
if you find something wrongwith what I'm doing, then that
will mean I'm not perfect enoughand you can pick on me or say
I'm not allowed to do thingslike.
The whole perfectionism thingis just a whole.
That's a whole podcast in andof itself, all by itself.
Yeah, yeah, I think spiritualjourneys, which is why I'm so
glad you're going into detail.
It's really difficult forsomebody who's still plugged
into the matrix, who's stillplugged into the beliefs and and
(30:07):
they think that the things thatyou talk about when you're
spiritual or you're awake areconspiracy theories.
Like three years ago I did avideo about the death of the
American dream and the fact thatthe politicians and
corporations were destroying thecountry and putting us in
extraordinary debt and it's, andpeople were like they're like
girl, there's not.
The American dream has not died.
(30:29):
You're being cynical and I'mlike I'm not being cynical.
I'm a spiritual person tryingto tell you the truth about a
situation that we find ourselvesand we need to do something
about it.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
And it's.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
It's funny to see, three years later now there's
all this open conversation aboutthe truth of what's been going
on for such a long time, and Ithink that's going to cause a
lot more people to wake up yeah,well, and, and that, and you
know before.
Speaker 2 (30:50):
So I just want to reference, if we're talking the
death of archetypes, becausethat's a, that's an archetype
that's dying right, um and uh,mostly dead at this point and
the?
Um.
I remember vividly the otherarchetype that I saw die, do you
remember?
Oh, now I'm dying to hear.
(31:10):
So it's so funny because weboth said die.
Uh, princess diana, when shedied, she took the prince, the
fairy princess archetype.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
She took that with her yeah, yeah, that you just
gave me chill bumps becauseyou're absolutely right, she did
.
She broke it.
Yeah, yeah, and that fantasy Ithink it's sort of that whole.
She was the fracture in thewhole Disney fairy tale, yeah,
yeah, of a woman who needs to bechosen to be worthy.
She embodied that archetype, andthen she broke it and that was
(31:44):
her purpose on the planet was tobreak it, and that was part of
the, the transition of womeninto their power again, because
the fairy princess was gone,right, yeah, and so in its place
, and you know, in its place,she was becoming the crone and,
honestly, I think one of themain reasons she was taken out
was because of of what she wascapable of as in in her fully
(32:04):
actualized self.
Speaker 2 (32:06):
Well, she had dubbed herself the queen of hearts, and
so she stepped out of princessinto queen, which is in
opposition to the actual queenof england, which was not okay.
So yeah, whole thing right.
So, anyway, she broke thatarchetype hard, and so you know
that that's what some people arehere on the planet to do, is to
(32:27):
break the archetypes, right.
So it's, it's a veryinteresting dynamic.
Speaker 1 (32:33):
So, yeah, so much stuff oh, you know, I'll tell
you a couple of interestingpoints on my own journey.
So, uh, those of you who arenew to the show, I woke up in
before the right before theclosures.
I wasn't, what I'd say, fullyvested in my spiritual journey,
but I was awake, going, oh mygosh, we're about to close and
people like kind of close as acountry.
(32:54):
I'm like no.
I'm just, I'm telling you we are.
I'm not asking you, I'm not'mjust informing you.
And I couldn't get anyone tolisten.
And then everything startedhappening.
I was like, oh my goodness,this is out of control.
But anyway, at one point myspirit guides asked me to go uh.
So I was called to to back up.
For a second, I was called toshamanism.
As a teenager, I had everysingle thing happen, including
(33:14):
like five near-death experiencesin one summer.
I was like you guys are reallytrying to get my attention.
Um, uh, car accident, seriouscar accidents, being pushed, not
pushed falling off of a roof,uh, getting trampled by a horse
Like it was insanity.
Going to juvenile uh prison.
It was a prison when it has ahuge steel door that closes.
And uh, at 13, anyway, I wascalled to shamanism.
(33:36):
I had a shaman, uh, uh, move innext door to me and she started
to teach me about, uh, naturalremedies and, uh, healthy eating
and, uh, raw eating, really, uh.
And I was like, no, thank you.
This reminds me too much of thenuns I grew up with and the
orphanage I grew up in.
And so I went running and ittook me decades to finally wake
up, and when I finally did.
It was really a powerfulawakening experience I think it
(33:59):
was for everybody of finallybecoming myself, and I remember
my spirit guide saying we needyou to go out to the, to the
pond lake, whatever you want tolabel it and start to chant to
wake other people up.
And I was like, excuse me, youknow this.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
That's so funny because I tell people all the
time, you'll know you're therewhen spirit starts telling you
to do things that make you go.
Speaker 1 (34:26):
You want me to do what I was like I'm sorry, my
like, my, my, my.
The people who live in mycommunity are already looking at
me like what the heck happened,cause I'm walking along with,
like you know, different makeupand like, with this day's look,
on my face as high as as a kite,and on life and other things.
But you know what can I say?
I was going through my processanyway.
They said they go, we need youto go out to the water, find a
(34:47):
way to float above the water andbegin to chant, that it's time
for everyone to wake up.
And I was like you want me tofloat and chant in my
neighborhood pond where peoplecan see me, and they're like,
yeah, so anyway, it was stufflike that, uh, that I in the
synchronicities, the signs andsynchronicities that come along,
(35:09):
like the number of birds andbutterflies and bees yeah, you
had that same thing I I'mgetting it now.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
I mean, my client also just contacted me.
Like two days ago I had aclient who contacted me and said
there are birds everywhere.
I don't know what's going on.
I've got a little sparrow whowill come here on my window and
like look at me and peck at thewindow every time I'm sitting in
here.
I love it.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
It's so, I believe so .
This is my theory about birds.
So ibises were worshiped by theEgyptians and I think one of
the reasons that they were isbecause and I noticed this
because ibises and heronsstarted showing up when I woke
up and I mean it was crazy howmany were showing up every
single day.
I was like what is going oneverywhere I was going.
It was like even my my friendsaid when you visit me, herons
(35:57):
start showing up.
Like even my friend said, whenyou visit me herons start
showing up.
Anyway, I started noticing allthese ibises and you know, Egypt
was something I had memories ofas an infant and it's been part
of my life, which is where ISIScomes from.
Anyway, the point is is that Ibelieve that the Egyptians
(36:18):
worshipped ibises because theysent somebody who's in higher
consciousness.
They feel energy and they'rethe first alert that there's
something off about someone.
I really think that that's atheory, but I think there's
something to that, and thereason that I came to that
conclusion was that I had beentaking photographs with a 35
millimeter of all the birds andbutterflies and bees that were
coming around, and dragonflies.
Because I was just utterlyfascinated and so present in
(36:38):
those moments, such a beautifultime of my spiritual journey,
really to abandon the old selfand to feel free again and to be
in wonder of the universe.
I think that's the thing thatgets everybody hooked on
spirituality is when you becomepresent again and you're like,
oh my God, look at the wings onthat dragonfly.
Anyway, I was taking picturesof them and I noticed that I
couldn't get a good closeup ofof the birds because they always
(36:59):
stayed just far enough away.
And then one day, about sixmonths after I'd started my
shadow work, I was out, uh,taking pictures, and, all of a
sudden, uh, a gray heron, uh,stayed right where it was and I
was able to sit down on the bankand it was right there, just
like a foot away, and it justhung with me and spread its
wings and allowed me to take allthese amazing photographs.
And it dawned on me all of asudden that I had reached a
(37:22):
level of vibration that was at,uh, at one with nature, yeah.
And so that led me to this ideathat birds, um, sense vibration
, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:32):
When we first moved in here and, uh, so we live in
Panama now Um, and when we firstmoved into this house, we had a
hummingbird that came flying inthe door and just flew around
our house for a while.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
so yeah, I love that.
Oh, my goodness, you must havebeen like in a hummingbird of
all things, because they're so,they're so shy of everything.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Yeah yeah, well, not so much down here, people feed
them, but yeah, so you, you'vegone through these, these
incredible experiences.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You got the tattoo.
Where are?
Where are you off to next onthis incredible journey?
Speaker 2 (38:05):
Oh, so I eventually made my way back and ended up I,
while I was on the journey, Ihad met somebody and uh, ended
up coming back to Massachusetts,which I didn't expect that I
was going to when I left.
And you know, I came back and Ineeded a job because I was, you
know, I was back and and so Igot a job at a real estate
(38:28):
company doing training andwhatever.
And you know, I continued mywork right, I'm still doing my
work and I remember so I, a yearafter I joined that company as
a manager, I left to start myown real estate training
practice and I opened thatcompany up and on the side I was
(38:50):
doing spiritual classes and allthis other stuff.
Right, sitting with um, I wassitting with a student of mine
in a donut store somewhere Idon't remember which one and uh,
and oh no, we were in arestaurant but anyway, he, he
(39:12):
asked me what's next and myphone rang and I picked up the
phone and this guy is talking tome.
Now I had opened a um, oh, I'vegot this out of order.
This happened before I left,anyway.
Um, I had opened a spiritualeducation and healing center,
and so this was before I left,on walkabout.
(39:33):
But, um, I had opened thisstore and I was doing classes,
right, and one of the classes Ihad done was life after divorce.
Now, I had put it out, I was inmy panic pivot era where I was
like I give something like threedays to work and I go oh, the
universe didn't put the stamp ofapproval on a forehead, so it
must be something else.
So I had handed out a sum totalof maybe 12 flyers.
(39:56):
So I see you recognize that era, right.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
Oh, my God, I can't panic pivot.
I'm so stealing that from youbecause I did, I did.
I had that happen repeatedly.
Like I would be going in thedirection, I would think I'd
know what I was doing and all ofa sudden I was like, well, that
didn't pan out and I would turnto run the other direction.
And it was like two years of mejust going and of course,
nothing, of course.
Nothing worked out because Icouldn't stay nothing of course,
(40:20):
nothing worked out, because Icouldn't stay stay focused on
any particular solution, becauseI didn't understand that it was
going to take repetition, right?
Speaker 2 (40:24):
yeah, that's exactly what was with me too, and so I
had handed out maybe 12 flyersfor this class okay, and this
guy is calling me.
He's like who's this?
And I'm like you called me,who's this right?
And he's like I'm looking atthis flyer and I'm like what
flyer?
And he said this life afterdivorce flyer, he said I found
(40:45):
it in my visor.
I don't know where it came from, but I, you know, I, I just
lost custody of my kids.
I haven't slept in two days.
I'm I'm exhausted and I'moverwhelmed and I, I, I just
came out of the courthouse and Isat down in my car and I
flipped the visor, cause I wasgoing to take a nap, and this
fell into my lap.
And I that's why I'm callingand I said, well, I think you'd
(41:08):
better come over here.
And so, uh, you know, he, he,we met him at a donut shop that
was halfway between where wewere and he was, and, and, uh,
you, you know, he proceeded totell me this story of how wolf
had been following him.
And you know, everywhere hewould go, there were wolves
(41:29):
following him.
And he was telling me all thisother stuff that was going on in
his life and it was clear hewas having a shamanic awakening
and that the, the wolves, werecalling him and the shamanism
was calling him and he had losthis freaking mind.
And I'm like okay, you need togo lay down in your car for a
couple of hours, because you arealmost psychotic at the moment
because you haven't slept fortwo days.
Yeah, and so get a couple ofhours sleep, I'll come out and
(41:51):
get you.
And then you know we could talksome more.
And while he's out sleeping, I'mlooking at my student, who's
like oh, my god, what God?
What happened?
Right, I asked what was next.
And then we're here.
How does this happen?
I'm like welcome to my life,right.
And so I go to the bathroom andI'm in the bathroom talking to
spirit and saying I'm on thetoilet talking to spirit going
(42:13):
OK, I'm catching this one foryou, but this is not what I do.
I don't do this, I don't wantto do this.
And they're like no, no, youwere the only person within 75
miles.
I'm like okay, fine, I'll catchthis one for you.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
Right.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
It's because they're negotiations, right, and so, um,
so I, I I walked him throughwhat was going on, explained the
process to him, whatever,whatever, and sent him on his
way.
But that's one of the sorts ofthings that happen, right Is is
sometimes you just get thingsdropped in your lap.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
I'm kind of feeling like that's sort of like what
everything is, you know, is thissort of like getting dropped in
your lap.
Um, I, with the few minutes wehave left, I would love to touch
on shamanism.
So before we started recording,we talked about plant medicine,
and I'm a big supporter ofplant medicine.
I believe that Western medicinehas basically destroyed
(43:11):
Americans' health and has donenothing but get in bed with fast
food and mass-produced food toturn us all into a bunch of
piggy banks.
And so I'm a I'm a fan of plantmedicine, but as a shaman I
don't.
Really it's not something Ipush.
And one of the biggestmisperceptions I think for a lot
of people is and I I rememberwhen I first started to
(43:33):
introduce myself to people withshamanitis, I would get this
like oh, do you do ceremonies?
I'm like, yeah, I do a lot ofceremonies.
They don't involve what you'rethinking necessarily, and so I
wanted to touch on that, likethat sort of you know, the
modern shaman.
I think people really need toevolve their perceptions of what
(43:54):
shamanism is.
Well, I think for listeners Ihave to just say really quick, a
lot of people like I get peoplesaying, oh, are you indigenous?
And it's like no, I'm not but,but shamans have been in
cultures all around the worldfor thousands and thousands of
years.
They've existed in the irishworld and in the you know
english world, and in the germanworld, and in nordic and and
(44:14):
and in america.
And it's much broader and more,uh, diverse than I think a lot
of people actually understand.
And the word shaman issomething that we, that was
created Western, created tolabel it actually comes out of
Russia.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
Yeah, yeah, the term comes out of Russia.
So yeah, but I tell people allthe time you ask a hundred
shamans what a shaman is,they're going to give you a
hundred different answers, andthat's because that's sort of
the nature of shamanism, is that, uh, the the shaman is what the
who the shaman is right, theshaman does what.
You know what that person who'sthe shaman does.
(44:48):
There is no cookie cutterdefinition of shamanism, which
is why, like 15 years ago on, onsome random facebook group
around shamanism, somebody wassaying we need to certify
shamans and everybody who wasactually a shaman is like
laughing their butt off.
Right, we're like no no, youcan't do that, it is not
(45:08):
possible.
But yeah, but there's also thisweird thing in shamanism that
if, if you have not beenacknowledged as a shaman by
another shaman, you really can'tclaim to be a shaman.
You can say it, but it'll godunk, thunk, thunk in your
beingness, right?
You know, for years I calledmyself a practicing shaman, even
though I knew I had all theshamanic skills.
(45:30):
I had not been acknowledged byanother shaman because I had
studied with like 80 differentpeople over the course of my
life and and so no one personcame and said okay, you've
completed the training andhere's the stamp of approval
that says you're a shaman, right.
Speaker 1 (45:45):
And, let's be honest, that's all about money.
I mean the whole, themonetization of everything.
When I hear people say that oh,did you get a certification,
it's like shut up.
Could you please just shut upplease?
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Yeah.
So, um, you know there areskill sets that are required to
be a shaman and you know, ifyou're going to do things, you
need to actually know what thehell you're doing.
You can, okay, and the shamanwho was doing the house clearing
was unpacking his spirit boxwhich was a rubber made tote, by
(46:26):
the way um, and he, he pullsout his eagle feather and he, he
pulls it out and he starts toput it down and he's like
looking at it and it's like thefeather needs to be introduced
to you.
And I was like, okay, so hehanded the feather over and it,
and it's like the feather needsto be introduced to you.
And I was like, okay, so hehanded the feather over and I, I
communed with the feather for amoment and, you know, had had
(46:47):
the introduction, and then Ihanded it back and he said why
didn't you tell me you were ashaman?
Oh, I love that.
That was my acknowledgement,right yeah and I didn't have the
guts at the time to say well,you know, you know I wasn't
until a minute ago, but I justdidn't seem relevant, right, and
(47:10):
so you know, he invited me tobe part of the healing, the
clearing process.
But you know, not everybodygets their acknowledgement Right
.
Yeah, my friend Kathy workedwith a shaman.
She did the whole process andhe never acknowledged her Should
have but didn't, which is kindof the whole point.
Speaker 1 (47:20):
I never acknowledged her should have but didn't,
which is kind of the whole pointI think what we're talking
about is like when egos getinvolved, it's like you know, do
we have to make this morecomplicated than somebody
wanting to just be a communityhealer?
Can we just leave it at that?
You care and you want to help?
Speaker 2 (47:34):
people.
So you know, when she and Iwere working together, I looked
at her one day and I said Kathy,you're a shaman, ah and she was
like oh yeah everything right.
There was like this hugeopening for her.
I I actually just acknowledgedone of my students as a shaman,
uh, like a couple weeks ago,because he he's there you know,
and you know, we've been workingtogether for four years and
(47:55):
he's there and I was like hedidn't ask me if to do it, he
didn't anything.
I just looked at him and I waslike he didn't ask me if to do
it, he didn't anything.
I just looked at him and I'mlike acknowledgement, right, um,
because it was time, right, andthat's when it should happen,
not when somebody pays acertification fee or whatever.
It's when it's time.
Speaker 1 (48:10):
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that.
That's so important.
I can't believe goodness, I, I,we have just a minute left.
Uh, I know I, I could just keeptalking to you.
I could have this, could havebeen another hour.
Maybe we should do another andpick up.
Let's you know what, kelly,let's do that.
Let's do a part two and pick upand talk about you know
(48:31):
practices and you know where thespiritual world is right now in
consciousness, and I want tohear more about your a hundred
thousand um, for our listenersto part one cause we're going to
do a part two uh, if they wantto find out more about your work
and events and things like that, what would they do?
Speaker 2 (48:47):
so you go to kelly spartacom.
So if you're watching the video, it's on the screen, but if
you're listening it's k-e-l-l-e.
Just e spartacom.
And uh, if you want to get toknow me a little bit better
before you jump in that far, youknow, come and see me on my
podcast at Spirit Sherpa, orSpirit Sherpa podcast dot com.
If you need a website, and youknow, make sure you get the
(49:10):
Boundaries for Empaths programon the homepage of the website,
because that shit will changeyour life.
If you are an empath, you thisis this is going to totally
change the way you experienceyour world.
I can't tell you how manypeople are like, holy crap, I
feel so much better.
I'm like, yes, okay, sodefinitely get that download.
Um and uh, yeah, the a hundredthousand is on the site and I'm
(49:31):
doing free training for thepeople who are part of the a
hundred thousand.
Uh, and the a hundred thousandis the people who are here to
uplevel the planet and you'llknow if you're one of them,
because this was your experiencewhen you woke up.
I you're immediatelyoverwhelmed.
You're like oh, my God, I havethis massive mission.
I don't know what the missionis.
I don't know what I'm supposedto do.
I have no idea what's going on,but I know I'm late.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Yes, that was such an accurate description.
Yeah, no, I know that wholeconversation, that whole feeling
of waking up and being like, ohmy gosh, how am I, how am I
supposed to do this?
Speaker 2 (50:03):
exactly, and so I'm actually doing free training for
people who had that experienceat their awakening.
Um, and I want to be reallyclear this is not a chosen one
thing, right?
Speaker 1 (50:12):
that's it's it's.
Speaker 2 (50:13):
You know, we, we came on to the planet for a mission
and much like being a shaman.
Everybody's like oh, I want tobe a shop.
No, you don't.
You don't want to be a shaman.
It's fucking hard to be ashaman.
Okay, this is not going to beeasy either.
Okay, this is not a chosen one.
This is a.
We came in because we had amission to fulfill and we chose
this path, and so I'm teachingpeople how to uh hold their
(50:35):
energy, expand their energy andbe able to connect to one
another to create the gridthat's necessary to blanket the
planet.
And I'm doing that free, sothat's also on the homepage of
the website.
You can join the discord serverwhere we were organizing that.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
Ah, I love that.
Oh my gosh, you guys heard itright here.
Talk about a lot to to learn onher website, visit
kellyspartacom, and we'redefinitely going to do a part
two because there were so manythings that we didn't get a
chance to cover today.
If this is your first time here, I am spiritual teacher and
three-time bestselling author,shaman Isis, also known as
Cynthia Elliott.
To my friends and family, ifyou've never visited my website,
(51:09):
go check it out shamanisiscom.
If you're curious about mybooks, you can find them there.
Any events that I have comingup, you can find them there.
Um, as well as the my magazine,soul tech magazine, and um.
Of course, you can always visitsoul tech foundationorg to
learn about the work that we'redoing to help raise human
consciousness on the planet.
If you're not alreadysubscribed, please subscribe,
because this is intelligentlistening and high vibrational
(51:32):
uh uh energy to to enjoy yourday with um.
Love you guys.
Have an amazing week.
I will be back with anotherepisode soon enough and thanks
you guys, and have a good one.
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