Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back.
Happy Sunday, welcome to Go.
Ask Sawyer.
This is session three of we'regoing to call it backyard
conversation.
I like that, session three withToya from Universal Tees
Talking about life.
We have our animals here againtoday Talking about life.
We go.
Talking about just everythingthat is encompassing of women or
(00:27):
people, or humanity, or societyseasons.
I like that.
Yeah, tonight we're looking atpower, realizing our power, and
what does shining, bright andmain character energy mean to
you, right?
So I like to pretend I'm themain character and again in my
life, I am a podcaster beforeI'm actually a podcaster.
(00:50):
I'm a writer before I am.
I was putting out a bunch ofdance videos.
That's awesome Because I wasthe main character and I wanted
to dance and have fun.
So, like, what is maincharacter?
Maybe?
I'll ask I don't know if that'sthe first question I have, but
maybe what does main characterenergy mean for you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Okay.
So to me, main character energyis literally that.
It's like doing what you wantto do.
It's not looking for aconsultation for your everyday
things.
Main character energy is notneeding a supporting cat, really
(01:34):
just like a freedom.
It's a certain level of agencyover your life that is very
singular.
Main character energy isself-definition.
It's deciding who you are,outside of labels and
responsibilities, and just beinghappy there and not feeling
lost there, because sometimes,without our titles, you forget
(01:58):
who we are.
So I think main characterenergy is loving who you are
outside of a title, a label, anaccomplishment, a degree.
Facebook likes friends, all ofthat I really like that.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You said A loving yourself.
And then, outside of life, thelikes and the titles and the
validation when you're trulymain character in your life and
any listener can think about.
When you're watching a movieand you see that main character,
everyone's eyes are on them andthey're just really focused on
what they're doing.
I want to ask my listeners too,or our listeners, like, what
are you doing in your life?
(02:30):
That's main character.
Like, how are you showing up?
I don't really care what anyonethinks.
I am going to post this, I'mgoing to try this, I am going to
.
I wish my son Aspen was herebecause, like he also lives this
very like main character,authentic.
I love that.
I do not care what anyonethinks and, like for a
19-year-old, I never thoughtthat way at 19.
Yeah, no, and I just love thatbecause when I see him living
(02:59):
that life, it feels freeing andI think when we see people in
our life living that likeauthentic main character, energy
, it just looks freeing.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It looks so beautiful .
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Man, they just do not care.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
That actually reminds me I have someone who I asked
to be a guest on my podcast, andI think that she is the epitome
of that.
Oh, I love that, and so I can'twait to hear and see her live
that out.
I think Mito's mad that Gunnardoesn't want to play with him.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Oh, Gunnar, I think that could be real.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I think that could be real, which is so funny.
Migo's like Gunnar we're thesame.
Why don't you want to play?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Can I ask what does this person encompass that?
You see that in them.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I see the healing.
So she's very transparent withher story on just like social
media.
Like she was like living in onecity and then she decided to
move back home to Chicago.
Two weeks later she decided shedidn't like that.
Now she's living in Atlanta.
She decided that she wanted togo to Italy randomly, so she got
on a flight to Italy and likeshe'll go out dancing by herself
(04:05):
Her sense of fashion is amazingand so I think it's really that
, and even just the freeness ofme asking her to be on the pod,
and I'm like, ooh, I really wantus to do it in person, but I
know you're moving, my girl.
I took a flight to Milwaukeeand I was like, oh okay.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So that's freedom, I think, the freedom to like, move
about.
So I think everything thatyou're explaining, the freedom
like everything I hear you say,she's moving without looking for
validation, she's movingwithout permission, she moves
and does what she wantsAbsolutely.
And I like, that is what I'mstriving for and as much as like
, I feel like I'm getting there,there are still parts of me
(04:47):
that are like, should I, shouldI?
I don't know, and I think as anadult, it's a little bit harder
, especially if you have kids.
Right, you have to think aboutmoney and responsibility and
whatnot, but that's where I'mtrying to get.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, I think we're all trying to get there and I
think it's so funny becausebefore we started recording, you
mentioned like I think you saidthat you think that I have like
main character energy with likemy podcast and like doing this
whole consultant thing.
And I'm like girl who you?
I definitely don't think I havemain character energy the
(05:18):
things that I've done.
It took me so long to do them,literally on.
I think it was my very firstepisode of my podcast, which is
crazy.
I mentioned like I had wanted todo a podcast for like six
months before I ever recordedone.
I had bought all the equipment,set it up and just walked back
and forth past it my whole life.
The consulting idea, literallythe website that I attached.
(05:41):
I had made it like a year ago.
Oh really, yes, I just likemaybe shifted some things around
on it, but I made that websitemaybe not a year, but like five,
six months prior to yesterdaywhen I decided to launch the
business.
And it's just this belief oflike being afraid to compete
when thinking about maincharacters.
(06:02):
They know that they don'talready.
So that's why I kind of feellike I'm in limbo.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
So I'm thinking about two things as you're talking
about this.
Number one, who are youcompeting with, Right and B?
Why do you think you get inyour own way so much?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
So one the first question who am I competing with
?
I am competing with thefinished product of the vision
that I see in my head, because Iknow what I've seen God give me
as my podcast platform.
I've seen myself in front ofaudiences.
I've seen myself, you know,meeting people like doing things
(06:38):
, facilitating things, being ofinfluence.
I've seen, and I see, otherpeople who have podcasts that
are there already.
I've seen that.
But I also see where I am nowand I don't know how that is
possible for me to get there.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, like I see this and I see here.
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
And it's like, yeah, how am I supposed to do that
when I can't afford high techediting equipment and I don't
know how to.
I don't have the time to learnhow to do all of these things
and you know, you have to do itby yourself first.
But it's also like I got my twolittle studio lights, but I
don't really know much aboutlighting, I just turn them on
and hope things happen, so that,and then also, if I'm being
(07:18):
completely honest, there iscomparison to the way that I see
other people live out there.
Yeah, things, and I think Is ita perfection Like?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
are you not a perfectionist?
But is it like what if it isn'tas good?
Instead of like, mine's goingto be different because it's
mine.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
So I think it's a combination.
So I think for me it's like Iknow the content that I have is
this quality, and the way that Iput it out there I wanted to
match it.
I wanted to look like thequality of information, and I
also know like in this day andage, people are very drawn to
things that are aestheticallyattractive, and if I don't feel
like something looks good enough, I don't think people will
(07:58):
listen to what I have to say.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, so Okay, I mean , and that's.
I feel that I have a friend whorecently created a business for
women to help in sales.
Is that Amy, amy, yeah, oh,yeah, amy, yeah, let's see,
let's shatter.
Hey, amy, and she I rememberher talking about like she
needed everything to be acertain way and we were talking
(08:22):
about podcasting.
She's like I'd want to let allthe episodes out.
I want to record all theepisodes, and she's like and
then you just like do it andthrow it out there.
She's like, and there'ssomething about that that drives
me crazy and I wish I could dothat.
But she's also very like shehas a whole different way of
doing things.
Like put all her stuff togetherand had a team not a team, but
(08:43):
like had people that helped her.
And in my head I'm like, man, Iwish I was that driven.
Yeah, whereas, like I don'tknow if I don't have the
patience, I'm like I'm justgoing to figure it out, I'm just
going to throw it out there andsee what happens.
Same, because it's acombination of my own authentic
self.
Yeah, and I do love watchingcontent creators or creators
that are literally justauthentically figuring it out
(09:04):
and they're showing the publicand figuring this out.
And then I also love people who, like they got it all together.
I'm like, how did you get thoselinks on there?
Like I've thought French hasher sculpting systems and like
you've clicked on her link andshe has all these other links
and I'm like, how does she dothat?
Yeah, do I reach out?
Do I figure it out myself?
Like I just keep seeing thingsthat I think would be great, but
(09:26):
, like you, that I just couldmaybe overwhelm myself, yeah,
and I'm like I don't even knowwhat to do.
Like, what do I do now?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, and I think a large part of that is being okay
, reaching out and asking forhelp yeah, because most times
people are going to say yes, weoverthink small things.
And it's like just ask them,nine times out of 10, people are
going to say yes or like Idon't know, so that I think it's
that simple, there's nothingelse to it.
Also, just deciding where youare going to, because if I know
(10:00):
that I want something to be acertain way, it's like okay, no
matter what, you have to committo the process of getting there.
And I think main characterenergy also reminds me of the
saying of like dancing in therain.
Yeah, like that's a part ofbeing the main character.
You don't get to decide thesetting of the dancing in the
rain.
Yeah, like that's a part ofbeing the main character.
(10:21):
You don't get to decide thesetting of the story all the
time, but if you're the maincharacter, you got to make it a
story to pay attention to.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Like sometimes it's going to work and sometimes it's
going to flop.
Yeah, sometimes this episodelike I have some episodes that
have so many listeners andothers that have like 10.
And I'm like, was it the time Iposted?
Was it the season I posted?
I hate that.
I hate the whole algorithmthing now.
Yeah, like I don't understand.
But I'm also just trying toembrace, I'm putting out into
(10:47):
the universe what I want and Iknow it's going to eventually do
what it needs to be.
Yeah, go, yeah.
So, speaking of all of that,let's talk about shining bright,
yes, and what we think of.
So when we shine bright, oftenwe trigger other people.
And I know, on our last week'sepisode we talked about
(11:09):
friendships and you are veryblessed to have people around
you who are like, hoorah, yougot this.
I feel like most people in mylife are like go get them, you
got it, whatever.
But I have noticed there'scertain things that I do or say
or act that trigger others and Idon't always know, trigger them
negatively.
Yeah, but I don't, and they'renot mad about it, but it's stuff
(11:31):
that they say to me like, oh, Icould never do that or oh, why
would you do that or why wouldyou post that?
Or why do you even care to?
Because, like, I got really intoTikTok again because I was
bored and I don't know anyone onthere.
So I just started like postinga bunch of stuff on there every
day and it became fun because Iwasn't, I was literally not
(11:53):
worried about anyone watching.
And I was talking to somefriends and they were like, oh,
you're doing TikTok, like isn'tthat whatever, whatever.
And I was like oh, so like tome, that is, I'm triggering
something in them that theythink it's stupid or a waste of
time.
We're like, when you're shiningbright, when you're trying new
things, when you're just likeout there doing it, why do you
(12:14):
think I mean I feel like I'masking kind of a dog question,
but we can talk about it why doyou think that triggers other
people so much when you're doingthings that?
Why do you think they eventhink they need an opinion?
Well, am I asking too manyquestions?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I'm trying to figure out which one.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Where to put my brain , okay, so I think you're asking
, like, why are other peoplegiving their opinions about what
you do?
I'm just going to go back tothe good old saying of like
people, be haters.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
People be haters and you know what's even more crazy,
sometimes they don't realize it.
And I did one of my live events.
I did, I had a whole talk aboutthis.
I forget what it was called,but like we have points in our
lives where we haters a littlebit, I think overly criticizing
someone is just being a hater.
(13:06):
Yes, I believe that and you maynot be hating on the thing like,
oh, I wish I could dance, oh, Iwish I knew TikTok it could be
like some part of yoursubconscious or deep within you
is like dang, this bitch reallydon't care, and I care so much I
wish I could not care.
Yeah, that's real you know andthey haven't addressed that and
(13:29):
it's taken.
This has been a season of justhonesty with myself and I've
pulled out parts of those that Inoticed within myself.
It's like you're overlycritical of someone because
they're doing what they have todo, but the problem is they're
free and you're not.
You're bound because you'restill inside this box and they
are not caring.
(13:49):
They don't even care aboutyour—nobody's thinking about you
.
No, we all think that we'rejust so special and like
everyone's always thinking aboutus.
No one cares and I actually hadthat advice for someone just
about, like, public speaking,like, oh, people who get nervous
speaking in front of crowds,and I'm like here's what you
(14:11):
have to remember.
They don't care about you, theycare about what you're saying.
Yeah, they're not even lookingat.
Most of the time, people arewaiting on it to be over.
So it's like no one cares aboutyou.
They care about what you'resaying.
They're not even looking at.
Most of the time, people arewaiting on it to be over.
So it's like no one cares aboutyou.
They care about what you'resaying.
But, yeah, I think it's that inthose types of situation is
they just?
They just have their haters andit may be undiagnosed.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Well, and I think what what you said is they don't
even realize they are being ahater by saying, giving their
opinion, whatever, putting theirshit on you.
Yeah, that it's like.
But I just noticed the more I'min my main character, the more
I'm shining bright.
You do attract.
Well, you attract a lot ofpeople.
Yeah, attract a lot of positiveand you also attract a lot of
(14:53):
negative, and I've just reallybeen trying to figure out how to
handle that, but I think youdon't.
I was going to say I think whatyou said about just like OK,
yeah, you don't handle it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You realize too like we just live in a huge energy
field, like Earth is just a hugeforce field.
Yeah, and it really is likewe're energetically connected to
people.
And so I think my favorite poemI say all the time is Our
Deepest Fear, by MarianneWilliamson, and she says as you
let your own light shine, youunconsciously give other people
(15:29):
permission to do the same.
Yes, as you're liberated fromyour own fears, your presence
automatically liberates others.
If you are shining long enough,you will draw out darkness, you
will draw out negativity.
If you are negative long enough, like that's what's going to
come to you, and you have toknow, you have to decide which
(15:52):
you want, and you have to alsounderstand that those feelings
fluctuate.
You're not always going to befucking roses and daisies and
sunshine.
You're going to be negative,you're going to be pessimistic
sometimes, and we have to justaccept the flow.
We try to manipulate energy toomuch.
Well, not energy, because Ifeel like you can't manipulate
energy, but we try to manipulatejust what naturally is.
(16:15):
If today you feel like going tothe gym and lifting weights, do
that.
If tomorrow you just feel likegoing for a walk, do that.
If today you feel like sittingon the couch eating Cheetos,
watching a movie.
That's fine too, but I thinkthat's the whole thing too, with
trust in yourself.
I know that I am a healthyperson who cares about my body,
(16:42):
so if I want to go and eat me asteak, dinner's what I'm gonna
do, because I know tomorrow I'mprobably gonna eat a salad.
Yeah, like it's it's.
Everything is a balance,everything is yin, and that's
the same thing with energy andpeople, and I think that's what
helps.
I know we talked aboutfriendship yesterday, with
having friends.
They have to understand thatabout the friendship, about you,
about them.
So it's just deciding you,deciding on people who
understand that.
And that's where friendshiprelationship has to be
considered, because we don'tnecessarily want somebody that's
(17:04):
exactly like us.
We have to think about values.
So do they feel like a maincharacter and their values do
they align with yours?
You know I recently had todiscover my values and it told
me a lot.
Yeah, you know I recently hadto discover my values and it's
helped me a lot.
Yeah, it's helped me a lotabout people that I'm close to,
(17:25):
people that I have decided notto be as close to, and why.
And it's like yeah, that's whyI don't really fool with that,
or that's why I really lovebeing in this place or this and
I, anything like.
I have my values and I'mlooking for jobs that align with
my values friends, relationshipaligning with my value.
Everything my dog got to alignwith my values yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
So, speaking of values and the people, do you
notice a feeling in your body?
Or have you noticed a feelingin your body when you're around
the people that are aligningwith you or like this is feel,
this feels good, this matches.
Have you noticed any?
Um notice feelings so this isI'm gonna say no, no, you
(18:10):
haven't like that weird gut, orthat so okay.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
so I'm gonna say I don't feel the feelings, or
maybe I don't pay attention tothem.
When I'm in places where I'maligned, but when I am not, that
is when I feel.
When I'm not in a place that Iam supposed to be in, that's
when I start to notice my body.
And so, in that sense, when Idon't feel anything, when I
(18:38):
don't feel the anxiety, that'swhen I know I'm in a safe and
aligned space.
But when I'm in spaces whereI'm picking up, like my spidey
senses are tingling, that's whenI feel.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
So I'm so happy you said that, because I meant to
say something yesterday and Itotally forgot.
I thought about it today how,like, when you're in
environments around certainpeople that you're not supposed
to be, like God will literallymake everything go wrong and
we'll just keep like fixing itand it's just.
It's insane, like in hindsightof things like even jobs I've
(19:10):
been in that I shouldn't havebeen.
It was like I would gain weightin certain jobs.
I didn't have the right friends, I lacked all motivation and,
like you will start losingthings around you and it won't
always be right away, like itwon't always be big.
Yeah, but I think that'sanother thing to pay attention
to.
Like, when you're in certainplaces, are there certain things
(19:34):
that are happening to me?
Yeah, are there certain thingsgoing wrong that I'm trying to
explain away or fix away?
And like, no, he's trying to belike you're not supposed to be
here and I'm trying to give yousome signs?
Yes, but I know you keeplooking for another sign.
Yep, I'm just going to keepsending them.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yep, and I feel like, with God it has a funny way,
because you'll be like oh, Ineed a sign, why do I know I'm
not supposed to be here?
And then something you feel inyour body, something happens.
You know, somebody doessomething that makes you feel a
way, and then you're like, well,help me understand them.
Maybe that wasn't the thingHelp me.
(20:10):
Or maybe you feel like Goddidn't put you there to fix the
problem.
It's like, no, no, that is notthe case.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
And so I think, recognizing that, like trust,
trust, trust trusting yourselfis so key, but you can't trust
yourself until you are loving ofyourself and you are consistent
and you are doing the thingsthat you should be, that you
should be doing so in align withthat, what you just said, and
(20:39):
I've been going deeper anddeeper into, like reading the
Bible and like sticking with itand like understanding what
faith looks like Okay, like truefaith, like walking in faith,
and I've been trying to figureout, like, what is faith?
What like?
What does that mean to me?
And right now it meansunderstanding that I don't know
(20:59):
what's going to happen.
But the more I'm walking inplaces that make me feel happy,
peaceful, like accepting theunknown is going to happen and
it might be good and it might bebad, and I am just going to
walk into that instead of and Idon't know if you're like this,
but like I get a lot of I getanxious with the unknown, like,
(21:21):
oh my gosh, I wish I knew howthis was going to play out.
I wish I knew how this personwas going to act.
That understanding and that, tome, the more I'm living in
faith, is helping me live thatmain character energy.
It's helping me shine bright,because it's kind of giving me
that permission.
I'm going to be loud and I'mgoing to be okay and I'm going
(21:41):
to be here and I'm just going tohave faith that he is going to
guide me.
He, she is going to guide mewhere I need to go, and I think
for so long I tried havingcontrol of situations, yeah, so
I don't know if you're takingfaith or if you want to take on
it.
So, first of all,congratulations.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Thank you On that journey.
I hope that it is beautiful,it's been beautiful, but I think
faith is super important, andthat is a muscle that I don't
think I have flexed yet.
I think I am still trying tofigure out what I have faith for
.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You know I struggle.
My anxiety makes me struggle todecide.
One minute I want to do this.
The next minute I want to dothat.
The next minute I'm trying todo this, but then I feel bad
because now I'm neglecting that,and so I think I need to have
the faith to decide.
Maybe the decision is faith.
(22:40):
Faith is that you can do all ofthese things, even if you start
with this one and you just haveto trust it's going to unfold?
Yeah, and I don't.
And so I'm working onunderstanding faith first,
building in it and then living afaithful life.
Yeah, so I know I need to.
(23:03):
I know the beauty of it and itsounds good, but the work I know
is very difficult.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
It sounds good, but the work is hard, I will say.
Last November I started doingsoap, so I read a scripture
verse.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I observe oh, I thought you were going to make
it soap.
I thought you were going tomake it, so I thought you were
going to make it, so you got anyhere.
I should Maybe that way nextyear.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'm sure I was like, okay, no, but I love that
perspective, yeah.
But like, I just started doingthat every day, like so I would
write a Bible verse, I'd analyzeit, like what it means to me,
and then I'd pray on it and itwould take me 10 minutes and I
didn't know what I was doingwith it.
I just knew I wanted to getcloser to God.
(23:47):
I didn't necessarily I don'tnecessarily go to church.
My church is with him in nature.
My church is talking to him.
Being a gay woman, like theBible was used against me a lot.
I grew up in a white, veryconservative Christian family,
so I'm trying to understand itfor me, and so that's how my
journey started, because Iwanted to have this relationship
and not have people tell me howto do it, and so it's one of
(24:12):
those things.
I started it last November andI am so thankful.
I didn't know what I was doingwhen I started it.
Yeah, and it has.
I felt like that's one thingthat has saved me through a lot
of weird dark moments, mm-hmm,because I could just count on
that, and every day I would belike I'm just going to randomly
pick a verse, and it was likethat verse spoke to me that day.
(24:33):
Wow, and so for me, that's howmy faith started growing.
But again, my purpose for it wasto understand all of this.
Yeah, through the lens ofeveryone says being gay is a sin
and this and that, and peopleaccepting you or not accepting
you.
And I was like you know what?
I'm tired of people telling mewhat the Bible says or what
(24:56):
Christianity says and I'm justgoing to go study it myself
Because I don't know about you.
But I feel like you and I areself-teachers.
Yeah, like this podcastingstuff, like I'm just going to go
on YouTube, I'm just going tobuy some stuff and figure it out
, and so that's where my faithhas gotten stronger.
And even like being willing totalk about it on my podcast or
with people, or talking aboutlike I also pull tarot cards and
(25:19):
I Right, like I kind of doeverything.
I see everything as spiritual,I see everything as something
larger talking to me, and that'show slowly I've been living in.
This faith of this is working,this is bringing me peace, this
is working.
But again, I started that formyself because I wanted to just
(25:43):
understand differently.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, and I think, however you approach faith,
faith is a practice.
Faith isn't a religiousdoctrine.
Yeah, yes, and so, however youget to the work of faith, yeah,
like, do that, right, like, Idon't think we even have to make
faith religious, it's apractice.
You know what?
Right, like, I don't think weeven have to make faith
religious, it's a practice.
You know what I mean?
(26:06):
You be having faith that youknow a male might turn out.
Right, that's real If he'strying, you know.
But I think that is a part ofmain character.
Energy is having faith.
It's moving in faith.
It's dending in the rain, it'sbeing free, it's not being bound
.
It's also being receptive tolike I actually might fuck up, I
might say something wrong, Imight do something wrong.
(26:27):
Hell, you might go into thereligious aspect of faith and
realize I need to actually bemore in line with this text, and
you never know.
But you won't know until youtry and you can't be afraid.
And I think sometimes, when wethink about main character
energy, we feel like there'speople behind us that are like
(26:50):
less than Main character.
Energy does not mean that youhave people that are beneath you
or love with you or you'rebetter than anyone.
It just means like, in thisspace, in this season, this is
where I shine.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
So I also see main character energy as this is my
own life.
Yeah, I am my best friend.
I will die my own best friend.
I have great people around me,but no one else is living this
life.
Yeah, no one else is showing upthe way I show up for me,
absolutely.
And so if I'm doing thatbecause this is my life, then no
(27:25):
one can be behind me, becauseyour life is your life, my
friend's life, like I want myfriends to live main character
energy, because I'm noticing themore people I surround myself
with that shine bright inpositive ways.
That's where, like, real poweris, and not like power, like
we're going to take it on, butlike power to like make change,
(27:46):
power to create beauty, power tobe creative, power to push
other people to like do the bestthey can.
And so that's where I'm like, Ithink your podcast, which is
why I wanted to collaborate withyou on this, because I feel
like when you think about howmany lives can you positively
impact, like, that to me is realpower.
(28:07):
It doesn't need to be loud, andso, yeah, maybe a couple of
people listen to my podcast andevery once in a while, like
twice a month, I'll get a textfrom a random friend or someone
at work and they'll be like.
I stumbled upon your podcastand couldn't believe it and I
was like oh, my like, it makesme feel so good.
(28:28):
And that was my purpose for this.
Maybe you can talk about whyyou got into your podcast, but,
like, I got into it becausefriends said I like what you
have to say and you should dothis or that.
I think you and I both talkedabout like life coaching and all
the things, and so, like, thiswas the only way for me to,
right now, throw some advice outthere and maybe someone wants
(28:49):
to hear about.
Yeah, and it'll reach who it'ssupposed to.
Yeah, why did you start yours?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
You know, what's so crazy is I don't even.
It was just deposited into me,right, because I started my
podcast in 2020.
And it wasn't podcasts weren'tbig then.
I think people were juststarting to, and I don't even
know Just got locked in.
Yeah, I don't even know where Igot the influence from, yeah,
(29:16):
but God was just like you'regoing to do a podcast, and so I
was just needing I was holding alot.
You know, I was new.
I wasn't as new, but I was inMilwaukee I'm not from here I
was struggling to, like, findtrust.
The community Life was just,really, it was in a strange
(29:37):
place and I just needed anoutlet to be honest, and I
didn't use my voice a lot.
Growing up, I told you I don'tlike confrontation, and so I
never knew how to have difficultconversations.
So my podcast was where I wouldhave difficult conversations,
just like without directlysaying it to a person.
(29:58):
But a lot of the times when I'mtalking, it's an experience
that I've had or it's somethingthat I've been through and
there's someone that I have inmy mind, that I'm articulating
to, and so it gave me.
I'll say whatever I needed tosay, without the confrontation
of, like you know the person orthe people, and people were just
like yeah, yeah, me too.
(30:19):
And I was like oh, I thoughtthat was what was up, right, so
I just love.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh, I don't know what was wrong, right.
So I just love like that's oneof my favorite things, yeah, and
so I think that your, what youdo, just talking about different
experiences that you have, likethat really positively impacts
you, yeah, and that gives peoplepermission to like, oh my gosh,
I feel that way too.
I'm not alone.
And I think that's the biggestthing is so many people feel
(30:42):
alone in their own emotion orthey don't know how to be
vulnerable or speak about it,and so, like listening to other
people just say like, yeah, thisis my thing too.
It's like, oh, I'm not, that'sreally cool that I'm not there.
So I'm encouraging everybodyfind your main character, energy
, shine bright.
Find what you have faith in orwhatever faith means to you.
(31:05):
Listen to Universal Tease.
She's got a new season threecoming out.
Do you have a date?
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I do not have an exact date, but it's coming,
it's in the works.
Okay, it'll be August 2025.
So I got some guests that I'mgoing to be recording and then
me and be talking about a fewthings.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
I like guests because I feel like we learn from each
other Absolutely.
I can talk all day long, butwhen we're having shared
experiences, then it's like ohmy gosh.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
And perspective.
You need perspective.
We get so stuck in what webelieve is true that we never
think of outside perspective.
I love a good moment wheresomebody shares something with
me and I'm like, huh, I was justin this one track mindset and
you just gave me a wholedifferent avenue, like it just
opens up so much more for youmentally.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I love that.
I 100% agree with that.
Well, is there anything elseyou would like listeners to know
about main character energy, orshining bright, or just being
themselves?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
I would say you already shine bright.
You just have to turn the lightswitch on.
It's there, Whether you believeit or not.
No matter what situation you'rein, no matter how much money is
in your bank account, no matterwhere you live, no matter what
your job is, we all have a lightthat exists.
You just have to have thecourage and the faith to turn
(32:25):
the switch on.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, just turn it on and light will.
What is it outshine?
Darkness, mm-hmm.
Every time, yep, like everytime.
So I really appreciate youbeing on and coming over and
having some backyardconversations.
This has really been kind of ahighlight and I will say, before
this happened, this was one ofthose like I'm really doing this
(32:48):
, really, like I want to have alittle mini-series with you and
it's going to happen, and thenthis felt like a very big
accomplishment for me.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I love that Little old me, little old me over here.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, so I want to thank you for that.
So now you got to come over toUniversal TV.
I got to fill out my form.
I'll just text you.
Okay, text me.
I would love to come on, eventhough I always love your lives
Absolutely, I'm always like youknow what's happening.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I can't wait.
I'm always in the lives, yeah,in their lives.
Yet I'm getting back y'all.
I'm coming out of the darknessmyself.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yes, Be good.
We all need a season to relax,and then we get new ideas.
Yeah, so all right y'all.
Thank you for joining us.
I hope you pulled some bits outof here.
Healing, what is healing?
Loving yourself deeply, how?
Who do you surround yourselfwith Friendships and then, of
course, realize your power?
Because you are amazing andthey are so, so worth it.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Yes, and we need you here no-transcript.
Hey, hey, hey, welcome back.
Happy Sunday, welcome to Go.
Ask Sawyer.
This is session three of we'regoing to call it backyard
conversation.
I like that, session three withToya from Universal Tees
Talking about life.
We have our animals here againtoday Talking about life.
We go.
Talking about just everythingthat is encompassing of women or
(00:27):
people, or humanity, or societyseasons.
I like that.
Yeah, tonight we're looking atpower, realizing our power, and
what does shining, bright andmain character energy mean to
you, right?
So I like to pretend I'm themain character and again in my
life, I am a podcaster beforeI'm actually a podcaster.
(00:50):
I'm a writer before I am.
I was putting out a bunch ofdance videos.
That's awesome Because I wasthe main character and I wanted
to dance and have fun.
So, like, what is maincharacter?
Maybe?
I'll ask I don't know if that'sthe first question I have, but
maybe what does main characterenergy mean for you?
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Okay.
So to me, main character energyis literally that.
It's like doing what you wantto do.
It's not looking for aconsultation for your everyday
things.
Main character energy is notneeding a supporting cat, really
(01:34):
just like a freedom.
It's a certain level of agencyover your life that is very
singular.
Main character energy isself-definition.
It's deciding who you are,outside of labels and
responsibilities, and just beinghappy there and not feeling
lost there, because sometimes,without our titles, you forget
(01:58):
who we are.
So I think main characterenergy is loving who you are
outside of a title, a label, anaccomplishment, a degree.
Facebook likes friends, all ofthat I really like that.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
You said A loving yourself.
And then, outside of life, thelikes and the titles and the
validation when you're trulymain character in your life and
any listener can think about.
When you're watching a movieand you see that main character,
everyone's eyes are on them andthey're just really focused on
what they're doing.
I want to ask my listeners too,or our listeners, like, what
are you doing in your life?
(02:30):
That's main character.
Like, how are you showing up?
I don't really care what anyonethinks.
I am going to post this, I'mgoing to try this, I am going to
.
I wish my son Aspen was herebecause, like he also lives this
very like main character,authentic.
I love that.
I do not care what anyonethinks and, like for a
19-year-old, I never thoughtthat way at 19.
Yeah, no, and I just love thatbecause when I see him living
(02:59):
that life, it feels freeing andI think when we see people in
our life living that likeauthentic main character, energy
, it just looks freeing.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
It looks so beautiful .
Speaker 1 (03:08):
Man, they just do not care.
Yes.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
That actually reminds me I have someone who I asked
to be a guest on my podcast, andI think that she is the epitome
of that.
Oh, I love that, and so I can'twait to hear and see her live
that out.
I think Mito's mad that Gunnardoesn't want to play with him.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Oh, Gunnar, I think that could be real.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
I think that could be real, which is so funny.
Migo's like Gunnar we're thesame.
Why don't you want to play?
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Can I ask what does this person encompass that?
You see that in them.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
I see the healing.
So she's very transparent withher story on just like social
media.
Like she was like living in onecity and then she decided to
move back home to Chicago.
Two weeks later she decided shedidn't like that.
Now she's living in Atlanta.
She decided that she wanted togo to Italy randomly, so she got
on a flight to Italy and likeshe'll go out dancing by herself
(04:05):
Her sense of fashion is amazingand so I think it's really that
, and even just the freeness ofme asking her to be on the pod,
and I'm like, ooh, I really wantus to do it in person, but I
know you're moving, my girl.
I took a flight to Milwaukeeand I was like, oh okay.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
So that's freedom, I think, the freedom to like, move
about.
So I think everything thatyou're explaining, the freedom
like everything I hear you say,she's moving without looking for
validation, she's movingwithout permission, she moves
and does what she wantsAbsolutely.
And I like, that is what I'mstriving for and as much as like
, I feel like I'm getting there,there are still parts of me
(04:47):
that are like, should I, shouldI?
I don't know, and I think as anadult, it's a little bit harder
, especially if you have kids.
Right, you have to think aboutmoney and responsibility and
whatnot, but that's where I'mtrying to get.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Yeah, I think we're all trying to get there and I
think it's so funny becausebefore we started recording, you
mentioned like I think you saidthat you think that I have like
main character energy with likemy podcast and like doing this
whole consultant thing.
And I'm like girl who you?
I definitely don't think I havemain character energy the
(05:18):
things that I've done.
It took me so long to do them,literally on.
I think it was my very firstepisode of my podcast, which is
crazy.
I mentioned like I had wanted todo a podcast for like six
months before I ever recordedone.
I had bought all the equipment,set it up and just walked back
and forth past it my whole life.
The consulting idea, literallythe website that I attached.
(05:41):
I had made it like a year ago.
Oh really, yes, I just likemaybe shifted some things around
on it, but I made that websitemaybe not a year, but like five,
six months prior to yesterdaywhen I decided to launch the
business.
And it's just this belief oflike being afraid to compete
when thinking about maincharacters.
(06:02):
They know that they don'talready.
So that's why I kind of feellike I'm in limbo.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
So I'm thinking about two things as you're talking
about this.
Number one, who are youcompeting with, Right and B?
Why do you think you get inyour own way so much?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
So one the first question who am I competing with
?
I am competing with thefinished product of the vision
that I see in my head, because Iknow what I've seen God give me
as my podcast platform.
I've seen myself in front ofaudiences.
I've seen myself, you know,meeting people like doing things
(06:38):
, facilitating things, being ofinfluence.
I've seen, and I see, otherpeople who have podcasts that
are there already.
I've seen that.
But I also see where I am nowand I don't know how that is
possible for me to get there.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, like I see this and I see here.
Yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
And it's like, yeah, how am I supposed to do that
when I can't afford high techediting equipment and I don't
know how to.
I don't have the time to learnhow to do all of these things
and you know, you have to do itby yourself first.
But it's also like I got my twolittle studio lights, but I
don't really know much aboutlighting, I just turn them on
and hope things happen, so that,and then also, if I'm being
(07:18):
completely honest, there iscomparison to the way that I see
other people live out there.
Yeah, things, and I think Is ita perfection Like?
Speaker 1 (07:27):
are you not a perfectionist?
But is it like what if it isn'tas good?
Instead of like, mine's goingto be different because it's
mine.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
So I think it's a combination.
So I think for me it's like Iknow the content that I have is
this quality, and the way that Iput it out there I wanted to
match it.
I wanted to look like thequality of information, and I
also know like in this day andage, people are very drawn to
things that are aestheticallyattractive, and if I don't feel
like something looks good enough, I don't think people will
(07:58):
listen to what I have to say.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, so Okay, I mean , and that's.
I feel that I have a friend whorecently created a business for
women to help in sales.
Is that Amy, amy, yeah, oh,yeah, amy, yeah, let's see,
let's shatter.
Hey, amy, and she I rememberher talking about like she
needed everything to be acertain way and we were talking
(08:22):
about podcasting.
She's like I'd want to let allthe episodes out.
I want to record all theepisodes, and she's like and
then you just like do it andthrow it out there.
She's like, and there'ssomething about that that drives
me crazy and I wish I could dothat.
But she's also very like shehas a whole different way of
doing things.
Like put all her stuff togetherand had a team not a team, but
(08:43):
like had people that helped her.
And in my head I'm like, man, Iwish I was that driven.
Yeah, whereas, like I don'tknow if I don't have the
patience, I'm like I'm justgoing to figure it out, I'm just
going to throw it out there andsee what happens.
Same, because it's acombination of my own authentic
self.
Yeah, and I do love watchingcontent creators or creators
that are literally justauthentically figuring it out
(09:04):
and they're showing the publicand figuring this out.
And then I also love people who, like they got it all together.
I'm like, how did you get thoselinks on there?
Like I've thought French hasher sculpting systems and like
you've clicked on her link andshe has all these other links
and I'm like, how does she dothat?
Yeah, do I reach out?
Do I figure it out myself?
Like I just keep seeing thingsthat I think would be great, but
(09:26):
, like you, that I just couldmaybe overwhelm myself, yeah,
and I'm like I don't even knowwhat to do.
Like, what do I do now?
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Yeah, and I think a large part of that is being okay
, reaching out and asking forhelp yeah, because most times
people are going to say yes, weoverthink small things.
And it's like just ask them,nine times out of 10, people are
going to say yes or like Idon't know, so that I think it's
that simple, there's nothingelse to it.
Also, just deciding where youare going to, because if I know
(10:00):
that I want something to be acertain way, it's like okay, no
matter what, you have to committo the process of getting there.
And I think main characterenergy also reminds me of the
saying of like dancing in therain.
Yeah, like that's a part ofbeing the main character.
You don't get to decide thesetting of the dancing in the
rain.
Yeah, like that's a part ofbeing the main character.
(10:21):
You don't get to decide thesetting of the story all the
time, but if you're the maincharacter, you got to make it a
story to pay attention to.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Like sometimes it's going to work and sometimes it's
going to flop.
Yeah, sometimes this episodelike I have some episodes that
have so many listeners andothers that have like 10.
And I'm like, was it the time Iposted?
Was it the season I posted?
I hate that.
I hate the whole algorithmthing now.
Yeah, like I don't understand.
But I'm also just trying toembrace, I'm putting out into
(10:47):
the universe what I want and Iknow it's going to eventually do
what it needs to be.
Yeah, go, yeah.
So, speaking of all of that,let's talk about shining bright,
yes, and what we think of.
So when we shine bright, oftenwe trigger other people.
And I know, on our last week'sepisode we talked about
(11:09):
friendships and you are veryblessed to have people around
you who are like, hoorah, yougot this.
I feel like most people in mylife are like go get them, you
got it, whatever.
But I have noticed there'scertain things that I do or say
or act that trigger others and Idon't always know, trigger them
negatively.
Yeah, but I don't, and they'renot mad about it, but it's stuff
(11:31):
that they say to me like, oh, Icould never do that or oh, why
would you do that or why wouldyou post that?
Or why do you even care to?
Because, like, I got really intoTikTok again because I was
bored and I don't know anyone onthere.
So I just started like postinga bunch of stuff on there every
day and it became fun because Iwasn't, I was literally not
(11:53):
worried about anyone watching.
And I was talking to somefriends and they were like, oh,
you're doing TikTok, like isn'tthat whatever, whatever.
And I was like oh, so like tome, that is, I'm triggering
something in them that theythink it's stupid or a waste of
time.
We're like, when you're shiningbright, when you're trying new
things, when you're just likeout there doing it, why do you
(12:14):
think I mean I feel like I'masking kind of a dog question,
but we can talk about it why doyou think that triggers other
people so much when you're doingthings that?
Why do you think they eventhink they need an opinion?
Well, am I asking too manyquestions?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
I'm trying to figure out which one.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Where to put my brain , okay, so I think you're asking
, like, why are other peoplegiving their opinions about what
you do?
I'm just going to go back tothe good old saying of like
people, be haters.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:46):
People be haters and you know what's even more crazy,
sometimes they don't realize it.
And I did one of my live events.
I did, I had a whole talk aboutthis.
I forget what it was called,but like we have points in our
lives where we haters a littlebit, I think overly criticizing
someone is just being a hater.
(13:06):
Yes, I believe that and you maynot be hating on the thing like,
oh, I wish I could dance, oh, Iwish I knew TikTok it could be
like some part of yoursubconscious or deep within you
is like dang, this bitch reallydon't care, and I care so much I
wish I could not care.
Yeah, that's real you know andthey haven't addressed that and
(13:29):
it's taken.
This has been a season of justhonesty with myself and I've
pulled out parts of those that Inoticed within myself.
It's like you're overlycritical of someone because
they're doing what they have todo, but the problem is they're
free and you're not.
You're bound because you'restill inside this box and they
are not caring.
(13:49):
They don't even care aboutyour—nobody's thinking about you
.
No, we all think that we'rejust so special and like
everyone's always thinking aboutus.
No one cares and I actually hadthat advice for someone just
about, like, public speaking,like, oh, people who get nervous
speaking in front of crowds,and I'm like here's what you
(14:11):
have to remember.
They don't care about you, theycare about what you're saying.
Yeah, they're not even lookingat.
Most of the time, people arewaiting on it to be over.
So it's like no one cares aboutyou.
They care about what you'resaying.
They're not even looking at.
Most of the time, people arewaiting on it to be over.
So it's like no one cares aboutyou.
They care about what you'resaying.
But, yeah, I think it's that inthose types of situation is
they just?
They just have their haters andit may be undiagnosed.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Well, and I think what what you said is they don't
even realize they are being ahater by saying, giving their
opinion, whatever, putting theirshit on you.
Yeah, that it's like.
But I just noticed the more I'min my main character, the more
I'm shining bright.
You do attract.
Well, you attract a lot ofpeople.
Yeah, attract a lot of positiveand you also attract a lot of
(14:53):
negative, and I've just reallybeen trying to figure out how to
handle that, but I think youdon't.
I was going to say I think whatyou said about just like OK,
yeah, you don't handle it.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
You realize too like we just live in a huge energy
field, like Earth is just a hugeforce field.
Yeah, and it really is likewe're energetically connected to
people.
And so I think my favorite poemI say all the time is Our
Deepest Fear, by MarianneWilliamson, and she says as you
let your own light shine, youunconsciously give other people
(15:29):
permission to do the same.
Yes, as you're liberated fromyour own fears, your presence
automatically liberates others.
If you are shining long enough,you will draw out darkness, you
will draw out negativity.
If you are negative long enough, like that's what's going to
come to you, and you have toknow, you have to decide which
(15:52):
you want, and you have to alsounderstand that those feelings
fluctuate.
You're not always going to befucking roses and daisies and
sunshine.
You're going to be negative,you're going to be pessimistic
sometimes, and we have to justaccept the flow.
We try to manipulate energy toomuch.
Well, not energy, because Ifeel like you can't manipulate
energy, but we try to manipulatejust what naturally is.
(16:15):
If today you feel like going tothe gym and lifting weights, do
that.
If tomorrow you just feel likegoing for a walk, do that.
If today you feel like sittingon the couch eating Cheetos,
watching a movie.
That's fine too, but I thinkthat's the whole thing too, with
trust in yourself.
I know that I am a healthyperson who cares about my body,
(16:42):
so if I want to go and eat me asteak, dinner's what I'm gonna
do, because I know tomorrow I'mprobably gonna eat a salad.
Yeah, like it's it's.
Everything is a balance,everything is yin, and that's
the same thing with energy andpeople, and I think that's what
helps.
I know we talked aboutfriendship yesterday, with
having friends.
They have to understand thatabout the friendship, about you,
about them.
So it's just deciding you,deciding on people who
understand that.
And that's where friendshiprelationship has to be
considered, because we don'tnecessarily want somebody that's
(17:04):
exactly like us.
We have to think about values.
So do they feel like a maincharacter and their values do
they align with yours?
You know I recently had todiscover my values and it told
me a lot.
Yeah, you know I recently hadto discover my values and it's
helped me a lot.
Yeah, it's helped me a lotabout people that I'm close to,
(17:25):
people that I have decided notto be as close to, and why.
And it's like yeah, that's whyI don't really fool with that,
or that's why I really lovebeing in this place or this and
I, anything like.
I have my values and I'mlooking for jobs that align with
my values friends, relationshipaligning with my value.
Everything my dog got to alignwith my values yeah, he does.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
So, speaking of values and the people, do you
notice a feeling in your body?
Or have you noticed a feelingin your body when you're around
the people that are aligningwith you or like this is feel,
this feels good, this matches.
Have you noticed any?
Um notice feelings so this isI'm gonna say no, no, you
(18:10):
haven't like that weird gut, orthat so okay.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
so I'm gonna say I don't feel the feelings, or
maybe I don't pay attention tothem.
When I'm in places where I'maligned, but when I am not, that
is when I feel.
When I'm not in a place that Iam supposed to be in, that's
when I start to notice my body.
And so, in that sense, when Idon't feel anything, when I
(18:38):
don't feel the anxiety, that'swhen I know I'm in a safe and
aligned space.
But when I'm in spaces whereI'm picking up, like my spidey
senses are tingling, that's whenI feel.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
So I'm so happy you said that, because I meant to
say something yesterday and Itotally forgot.
I thought about it today how,like, when you're in
environments around certainpeople that you're not supposed
to be, like God will literallymake everything go wrong and
we'll just keep like fixing itand it's just.
It's insane, like in hindsightof things like even jobs I've
(19:10):
been in that I shouldn't havebeen.
It was like I would gain weightin certain jobs.
I didn't have the right friends, I lacked all motivation and,
like you will start losingthings around you and it won't
always be right away, like itwon't always be big.
Yeah, but I think that'sanother thing to pay attention
to.
Like, when you're in certainplaces, are there certain things
(19:34):
that are happening to me?
Yeah, are there certain thingsgoing wrong that I'm trying to
explain away or fix away?
And like, no, he's trying to belike you're not supposed to be
here and I'm trying to give yousome signs?
Yes, but I know you keeplooking for another sign.
Yep, I'm just going to keepsending them.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Yep, and I feel like, with God it has a funny way,
because you'll be like oh, Ineed a sign, why do I know I'm
not supposed to be here?
And then something you feel inyour body, something happens.
You know, somebody doessomething that makes you feel a
way, and then you're like, well,help me understand them.
Maybe that wasn't the thingHelp me.
(20:10):
Or maybe you feel like Goddidn't put you there to fix the
problem.
It's like, no, no, that is notthe case.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
And so I think, recognizing that, like trust,
trust, trust trusting yourselfis so key, but you can't trust
yourself until you are loving ofyourself and you are consistent
and you are doing the thingsthat you should be, that you
should be doing so in align withthat, what you just said, and
(20:39):
I've been going deeper anddeeper into, like reading the
Bible and like sticking with itand like understanding what
faith looks like Okay, like truefaith, like walking in faith,
and I've been trying to figureout, like, what is faith?
What like?
What does that mean to me?
And right now it meansunderstanding that I don't know
(20:59):
what's going to happen.
But the more I'm walking inplaces that make me feel happy,
peaceful, like accepting theunknown is going to happen and
it might be good and it might bebad, and I am just going to
walk into that instead of and Idon't know if you're like this,
but like I get a lot of I getanxious with the unknown, like,
(21:21):
oh my gosh, I wish I knew howthis was going to play out.
I wish I knew how this personwas going to act.
That understanding and that, tome, the more I'm living in
faith, is helping me live thatmain character energy.
It's helping me shine bright,because it's kind of giving me
that permission.
I'm going to be loud and I'mgoing to be okay and I'm going
(21:41):
to be here and I'm just going tohave faith that he is going to
guide me.
He, she is going to guide mewhere I need to go, and I think
for so long I tried havingcontrol of situations, yeah, so
I don't know if you're takingfaith or if you want to take on
it.
So, first of all,congratulations.
Speaker 2 (22:00):
Thank you On that journey.
I hope that it is beautiful,it's been beautiful, but I think
faith is super important, andthat is a muscle that I don't
think I have flexed yet.
I think I am still trying tofigure out what I have faith for
.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
You know I struggle.
My anxiety makes me struggle todecide.
One minute I want to do this.
The next minute I want to dothat.
The next minute I'm trying todo this, but then I feel bad
because now I'm neglecting that,and so I think I need to have
the faith to decide.
Maybe the decision is faith.
(22:40):
Faith is that you can do all ofthese things, even if you start
with this one and you just haveto trust it's going to unfold?
Yeah, and I don't.
And so I'm working onunderstanding faith first,
building in it and then living afaithful life.
Yeah, so I know I need to.
(23:03):
I know the beauty of it and itsounds good, but the work I know
is very difficult.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
It sounds good, but the work is hard, I will say.
Last November I started doingsoap, so I read a scripture
verse.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
I observe oh, I thought you were going to make
it soap.
I thought you were going tomake it, so I thought you were
going to make it, so you got anyhere.
I should Maybe that way nextyear.
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I'm sure I was like, okay, no, but I love that
perspective, yeah.
But like, I just started doingthat every day, like so I would
write a Bible verse, I'd analyzeit, like what it means to me,
and then I'd pray on it and itwould take me 10 minutes and I
didn't know what I was doingwith it.
I just knew I wanted to getcloser to God.
(23:47):
I didn't necessarily I don'tnecessarily go to church.
My church is with him in nature.
My church is talking to him.
Being a gay woman, like theBible was used against me a lot.
I grew up in a white, veryconservative Christian family,
so I'm trying to understand itfor me, and so that's how my
journey started, because Iwanted to have this relationship
and not have people tell me howto do it, and so it's one of
(24:12):
those things.
I started it last November andI am so thankful.
I didn't know what I was doingwhen I started it.
Yeah, and it has.
I felt like that's one thingthat has saved me through a lot
of weird dark moments, mm-hmm,because I could just count on
that, and every day I would belike I'm just going to randomly
pick a verse, and it was likethat verse spoke to me that day.
(24:33):
Wow, and so for me, that's howmy faith started growing.
But again, my purpose for it wasto understand all of this.
Yeah, through the lens ofeveryone says being gay is a sin
and this and that, and peopleaccepting you or not accepting
you.
And I was like you know what?
I'm tired of people telling mewhat the Bible says or what
(24:56):
Christianity says and I'm justgoing to go study it myself
Because I don't know about you.
But I feel like you and I areself-teachers.
Yeah, like this podcastingstuff, like I'm just going to go
on YouTube, I'm just going tobuy some stuff and figure it out
, and so that's where my faithhas gotten stronger.
And even like being willing totalk about it on my podcast or
with people, or talking aboutlike I also pull tarot cards and
(25:19):
I Right, like I kind of doeverything.
I see everything as spiritual,I see everything as something
larger talking to me, and that'show slowly I've been living in.
This faith of this is working,this is bringing me peace, this
is working.
But again, I started that formyself because I wanted to just
(25:43):
understand differently.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Yeah, and I think, however you approach faith,
faith is a practice.
Faith isn't a religiousdoctrine.
Yeah, yes, and so, however youget to the work of faith, yeah,
like, do that, right, like, Idon't think we even have to make
faith religious, it's apractice.
You know what?
Right, like, I don't think weeven have to make faith
religious, it's a practice.
You know what I mean?
(26:06):
You be having faith that youknow a male might turn out.
Right, that's real If he'strying, you know.
But I think that is a part ofmain character.
Energy is having faith.
It's moving in faith.
It's dending in the rain, it'sbeing free, it's not being bound
.
It's also being receptive tolike I actually might fuck up, I
might say something wrong, Imight do something wrong.
(26:27):
Hell, you might go into thereligious aspect of faith and
realize I need to actually bemore in line with this text, and
you never know.
But you won't know until youtry and you can't be afraid.
And I think sometimes, when wethink about main character
energy, we feel like there'speople behind us that are like
(26:50):
less than Main character.
Energy does not mean that youhave people that are beneath you
or love with you or you'rebetter than anyone.
It just means like, in thisspace, in this season, this is
where I shine.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
So I also see main character energy as this is my
own life.
Yeah, I am my best friend.
I will die my own best friend.
I have great people around me,but no one else is living this
life.
Yeah, no one else is showing upthe way I show up for me,
absolutely.
And so if I'm doing thatbecause this is my life, then no
(27:25):
one can be behind me, becauseyour life is your life, my
friend's life, like I want myfriends to live main character
energy, because I'm noticing themore people I surround myself
with that shine bright inpositive ways.
That's where, like, real poweris, and not like power, like
we're going to take it on, butlike power to like make change,
(27:46):
power to create beauty, power tobe creative, power to push
other people to like do the bestthey can.
And so that's where I'm like, Ithink your podcast, which is
why I wanted to collaborate withyou on this, because I feel
like when you think about howmany lives can you positively
impact, like, that to me is realpower.
(28:07):
It doesn't need to be loud, andso, yeah, maybe a couple of
people listen to my podcast andevery once in a while, like
twice a month, I'll get a textfrom a random friend or someone
at work and they'll be like.
I stumbled upon your podcastand couldn't believe it and I
was like oh, my like, it makesme feel so good.
(28:28):
And that was my purpose for this.
Maybe you can talk about whyyou got into your podcast, but,
like, I got into it becausefriends said I like what you
have to say and you should dothis or that.
I think you and I both talkedabout like life coaching and all
the things, and so, like, thiswas the only way for me to,
right now, throw some advice outthere and maybe someone wants
(28:49):
to hear about.
Yeah, and it'll reach who it'ssupposed to.
Yeah, why did you start yours?
Speaker 2 (28:55):
You know, what's so crazy is I don't even.
It was just deposited into me,right, because I started my
podcast in 2020.
And it wasn't podcasts weren'tbig then.
I think people were juststarting to, and I don't even
know Just got locked in.
Yeah, I don't even know where Igot the influence from, yeah,
(29:16):
but God was just like you'regoing to do a podcast, and so I
was just needing I was holding alot.
You know, I was new.
I wasn't as new, but I was inMilwaukee I'm not from here I
was struggling to, like, findtrust.
The community Life was just,really, it was in a strange
(29:37):
place and I just needed anoutlet to be honest, and I
didn't use my voice a lot.
Growing up, I told you I don'tlike confrontation, and so I
never knew how to have difficultconversations.
So my podcast was where I wouldhave difficult conversations,
just like without directlysaying it to a person.
(29:58):
But a lot of the times when I'mtalking, it's an experience
that I've had or it's somethingthat I've been through and
there's someone that I have inmy mind, that I'm articulating
to, and so it gave me.
I'll say whatever I needed tosay, without the confrontation
of, like you know the person orthe people, and people were just
like yeah, yeah, me too.
(30:19):
And I was like oh, I thoughtthat was what was up, right, so
I just love.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Oh, I don't know what was wrong, right.
So I just love like that's oneof my favorite things, yeah, and
so I think that your, what youdo, just talking about different
experiences that you have, likethat really positively impacts
you, yeah, and that gives peoplepermission to like, oh my gosh,
I feel that way too.
I'm not alone.
And I think that's the biggestthing is so many people feel
(30:42):
alone in their own emotion orthey don't know how to be
vulnerable or speak about it,and so, like listening to other
people just say like, yeah, thisis my thing too.
It's like, oh, I'm not, that'sreally cool that I'm not there.
So I'm encouraging everybodyfind your main character, energy
, shine bright.
Find what you have faith in orwhatever faith means to you.
(31:05):
Listen to Universal Tease.
She's got a new season threecoming out.
Do you have a date?
Speaker 2 (31:13):
I do not have an exact date, but it's coming,
it's in the works.
Okay, it'll be August 2025.
So I got some guests that I'mgoing to be recording and then
me and be talking about a fewthings.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
I like guests because I feel like we learn from each
other Absolutely.
I can talk all day long, butwhen we're having shared
experiences, then it's like ohmy gosh.
Speaker 2 (31:35):
And perspective.
You need perspective.
We get so stuck in what webelieve is true that we never
think of outside perspective.
I love a good moment wheresomebody shares something with
me and I'm like, huh, I was justin this one track mindset and
you just gave me a wholedifferent avenue, like it just
opens up so much more for youmentally.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I love that.
I 100% agree with that.
Well, is there anything elseyou would like listeners to know
about main character energy, orshining bright, or just being
themselves?
Speaker 2 (32:03):
I would say you already shine bright.
You just have to turn the lightswitch on.
It's there, Whether you believeit or not.
No matter what situation you'rein, no matter how much money is
in your bank account, no matterwhere you live, no matter what
your job is, we all have a lightthat exists.
You just have to have thecourage and the faith to turn
(32:25):
the switch on.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, just turn it on and light will.
What is it outshine?
Darkness, mm-hmm.
Every time, yep, like everytime.
So I really appreciate youbeing on and coming over and
having some backyardconversations.
This has really been kind of ahighlight and I will say, before
this happened, this was one ofthose like I'm really doing this
(32:48):
, really, like I want to have alittle mini-series with you and
it's going to happen, and thenthis felt like a very big
accomplishment for me.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
I love that Little old me, little old me over here.
I love that.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, so I want to thank you for that.
So now you got to come over toUniversal TV.
I got to fill out my form.
I'll just text you.
Okay, text me.
I would love to come on, eventhough I always love your lives
Absolutely, I'm always like youknow what's happening.
Speaker 2 (33:17):
I can't wait.
I'm always in the lives, yeah,in their lives.
Yet I'm getting back y'all.
I'm coming out of the darknessmyself.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yes, Be good.
We all need a season to relax,and then we get new ideas.
Yeah, so all right y'all.
Thank you for joining us.
I hope you pulled some bits outof here.
Healing, what is healing?
Loving yourself deeply, how?
Who do you surround yourselfwith Friendships and then, of
course, realize your power?
Because you are amazing andthey are so, so worth it.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
Yes, and we need you here no-transcript.
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