October 15, 2023 • 20 mins
From shedding an old skin to stepping into a new, thrilling chapter of life, join me, your host Jamie, as I reflect on my profound personal transformations. Imagine what could happen if the narratives we tell ourselves shifted, if we stopped holding on so tightly? This potentially transformative episode, inspired by the wisdom of Bianca Sparacino, will challenge your perspectives on love, connection, and the power of letting go.
In the past two weeks, I've intentionally released parts of my old story, creating space for positivity and new beginnings. But, what happens when you decide to let go and trust yourself fully, without second-guessing? Daringly, we'll embrace what it means to be 'all in', surrendering to the unknown and stepping out of our comfort zones. So fasten your seatbelts, let's journey together through the discomfort towards extraordinary experiences, and discover how our inner light can attract what's truly meant for us.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello and welcome.
Happy Sunday.
This is Go Ask Sawyer with yourhost, jamie.
It's time.
It's been two weeks since mylast podcast and I've had a lot
of time to reflect on what I wasgoing through.
And I don't know about anyoneelse, but I definitely feel like
(00:22):
there has been a shift.
It's almost like I don't knowI've walked into a new room or
like I was.
Well, today is all aboutstories and the old story that
we continue to live with, and Ifelt like my first two episodes
were very much about how I wastalking about feeling stuck.
(00:44):
I was talking about how I feltlost, how I've lost myself, and
I feel like in these last twoweeks, all of a sudden, I have,
I don't know, shed a part ofmyself or come into a new room
or discovered something new andit just feels really good, like
really good.
So that's what our episodetoday is going to be about and
(01:06):
kind of what I've been feeling.
I want to know from mylisteners have you been feeling
something?
There was the eclipse yesterday, the fire eclipse.
A lot of talk around newbeginnings with this one, a lot
of talk around reconnecting withfriends, reconnecting with
people that maybe we haven'ttalked to in a while.
(01:27):
A lot of talk aroundrelationships, just kind of how
are we resetting or are westarting a new relationship or
seeing something in a brighterlight, and that's kind of where
I feel like I am.
So I want to start today withtwo quotes from Bianca Sparacino
.
A gentle reminder this was abook given to me by a very dear
(01:51):
friend for my birthday.
I do love books, and my firstquote that I just love and I
have to constantly remind myselfis this it is quite simple
nothing that is meant for youwill ever get away.
Love deeply and without theneed to possess or own.
Let beautiful connections passthrough you without attachment.
(02:14):
Slam your heart into the peopleand the places and the things
that ignite something deepinside your soul and I promise I
promise the right things willstay.
You will never lose what is foryou.
Please don't ever forget that.
I think I still live in a placewhere I'm scared to go all in.
I'm scared to go all in.
(02:35):
I don't know.
I almost feel like sometimesI've always lived that way, even
though the way I show up isvery much all in.
But I really am trying to getcurious with myself If I was
really all in in love.
What would that look like If Iwas really all in with family or
people that I care about?
(02:56):
What would that look like?
What am I still hiding fromothers or shielding from others
that I am?
I don't know if I want to usethe word shamed or embarrassed,
but I know that I constantly amsecond guessing.
Did I say the right thing?
Or I don't want to say thewrong thing?
What if I upset someone?
What if I say something rude?
(03:16):
Or we all feel that way.
When you're really all in, areyou second guessing or are you
just really being yourself?
Or is also second guessingmaybe just a part of being
mindful of those around you?
So I have been really trying tolook into what does being all
in look like for me, feel likefor me?
That's one thing I'm looking at.
(03:39):
This is a second quote from thesame book.
At the end of the day, it isquite simple.
There are so many uncertain andconfusing things in life, but
love should never be one of them.
Love should never be one ofthem.
Clear is kind.
I've been saying this to mystudents a lot lately.
Clear is kind when I'm rereminding, re reminding of
(04:00):
routines and procedures or theway I need them to speak in my
classroom or be in my classroom.
I feel that the more clear weare, the less confusion there is
, and I think for a minute whenI was kind of losing myself.
I was in a confusing place.
I didn't necessarily know whereI stood in relationships, I
(04:22):
didn't know where I stood in myjob, and the confusion can lead
to doubt and can lead touncertainty.
But at the end of the day, Ineed to remind myself that if
there is confusion around me, Ineed to be strong enough to ask
the questions and then also thatI do have the answers inside.
(04:45):
I do know what I know and sooften I know I've talked on here
about the lack of trust I havewith myself, and a new story I'm
creating in my life is that,yes, I know what is best for me.
Period, point blank.
I will not explain.
This is a new concept because Iam an over-explaner.
(05:05):
If I am going to tell you thisis the example I always use if I
tell you I am going to runanother ultramarathon, let's
just say I have already come upwith every single question
you're going to ask me or everysingle thing you're going to
doubt about it with me.
So I'm going to tell you I'mgoing to run the ultramarathon
(05:25):
and, before you probably evenhave a chance, I will explain
all the reasons.
This is a good thing for me inmy life and I am trying so hard
to get used to notover-explaining.
I don't want to explain to youwhy I want to do this.
I know that I want to do it andthat should be enough.
Now there's always the asteriskright.
(05:47):
There's always the people that,hey, I just want to know more
about this.
Like you've done this before,you've gotten injured before.
What are you going to dodifferently this time?
Not in a judgmental way, not ina I think you're crazy for
doing this way, but those peoplethat genuinely just are curious
, and I think I get confused inmy life between friends or
(06:11):
people that are curious aboutwhat I'm doing and people that
are judging me, and that goes, Iguess, hand in hand with inside
of my actually judging myself,like why can't I just?
Why do I feel like I have toexplain?
I do think, mom and dad, ifyou're listening, I do think I
might get some of that from youin the best way, because, again,
(06:32):
we only know what we know fromwhat we are taught.
My father and I were talking theother day about people who are
hard-headed or stubborn, andanother thing I've kind of been
looking at is people who arestubborn right, and we only
think they're stubborn becausethey're not doing what we want
them to do, whether it be oh, somany things start reading a
(06:55):
book, whether it be startworking out, stop drinking soda,
get out of a relationship.
That's bad for them.
Whatever the choice we think isbest for them, if they don't
want to do it we consider themstubborn or hard-headed.
But at the end of the day and Itold my dad this at the end of
the day, like we're pushing ourchoices, our views that what we
(07:18):
think is best for that person onthem, and because they don't
want to do it, we consider themhard-headed when that's not it
at all.
They just they don't.
The other person doesn't haveto do what we tell them to do,
even if maybe it's a betterchoice for them.
But no one is ever going to beready to whatever.
Leave the relationship, leavethe job, start the job, start
(07:40):
the healthy lifestyle, get upearlier, whatever it is.
Until they are ready and Ithink, because I don't like to
be considered, we'll just say,hard-headed.
When I've had conversations,maybe with my dad, I always back
up my whatever I'm going to dowith all the reasons why this is
good for me.
Again, I'm going to overexplain to him so he doesn't
(08:01):
come back in me over explaining.
A lot of times if I tell my momI'm going to do something,
she'll listen and she asks a lotof questions.
I know she's curious, but to meit feels like judgment and so I
over explain, over explain,over explain and, as a
recovering people pleaser, itfeels rude to not over-explain.
(08:23):
Does anyone else feel this way?
Like if I said I am going toquit my job as a teacher and go
back to Starbucks, I'd have amillion people telling me a
million different reasons why Ishould or shouldn't, or all the
judgments in the world, and itwould feel so rude to me to just
be like nope, this is what I'mgonna do.
(08:45):
I feel like I owe it to othersin society who, by the way, have
nothing to do with my life.
I feel like I owe it to othersto explain my movements, and so
that's something new that I'mtrying to practice doing.
So if I tell you something, ifyou come across me in the real
world, outside of the podcastworld, and I tell you something,
(09:08):
and I get a weird look on myface because I cannot hide my
feelings.
I am working on notover-explaining myself.
Does anyone else do this?
It's just just me.
So I'm leaving these old storiesbehind.
An old story that I have is Idon't need to keep achieving, I
can just be happy and be contentwhere I'm at and I just need to
stop reaching for things thatare outside of my realm or maybe
(09:32):
outside of outside of where Ishould be right now, like I just
need to hunker down and just behappy with the life that I have
created, and I feel like thatwas a story that I made up for
myself again to make othershappy, to make others feel safe
with what I was doing with mylife.
(09:54):
I just wonder who else outthere has an old story that they
have told themselves.
Maybe I am not a good runner,or I don't know how to podcast,
or I've never read before.
I don't know how to read or nothow to read, but I've never
enjoyed reading and I'm not areader.
But maybe you just haven'tfound the right book.
Maybe you haven't found theright training plan.
(10:14):
Maybe you aren't supposed to bea runner and walking is more
your speed.
Maybe none of that is for youand maybe there's something
completely different.
But I challenge anyonelistening what is an old story
you have told yourself thatmaybe you can start to rewrite
with this new eclipse that iskind of coming and we're getting
into that fall, winter seasonwhere I feel like we can kind of
(10:38):
hunker down and renew.
I was looking at my plants theother day.
I have my friend, nicole, hasgiven me a lot of her plant
clippings over the last twoyears and my little garden has
just really kind of become thishuge, beautiful garden that I
have.
But the other day, as I waswatering my plants and just
(11:02):
looking like, wow, these areawesome.
I realize it's taken a year totwo years to grow a lot of these
to where they are now and Ijust get so stuck in the why
isn't my life where I want it tobe right now, instead of
thinking like maybe I need tomove I'm not necessarily saying
physically, but like move myhouse around, move my body in a
(11:25):
different way, move how I am inthe sunlight, how I am outside.
I had a monstera that was justnot doing well and I got a
friend of mine a monstera forher new house and she has this
really great window that it's infront of.
And this monstera has grownthree times its size and I'm so
(11:47):
jealous of it because it's justlike growing like crazy and
she's done nothing but put it infront of this amazing window.
So I put my monstera outside, Iburned the leaves, I brought it
inside and put it too close tothe wrong window and a bunch of
leaves turned brown and thenfell off.
Then I over-watered it.
Finally I found a windowupstairs in my room with just a
(12:09):
beautiful light that it can seethe sky all day, and already I
have three new leaves withinlike a month.
And I think it's it's because,like I parallel this to her
plant, like I wanted my plant tobe like hers so bad.
I was like forcing love andlight and water on my plant and
I was just kind of killing ituntil I just kind of took a step
(12:32):
back, found a better spot andthen left it alone.
Same thing with my money tree.
I almost killed my money treeand then I did some more
research on it and I found abetter spot and now, like it has
so many leaves.
So I've just really been tryingto parallel, like maybe I was
feeling stuck and maybe I waskind of spiraling because I just
wasn't in the right place,maybe I was putting my energy
(12:55):
into the wrong things, and Ireally feel like maybe that was
happening.
I'm in a book club, also onMonday nights and we're
discussing the confidence codeand someone a friend of mine,
asked we're trying about money.
And she said Jamie, like a yearago or something you said,
literally like money was justpouring in.
(13:16):
It was crazy.
Like I got a check from a bankthat I had closed years prior
and they like refunded all myfees for this checking account I
had.
And like I just got a check for$150 and then I was part of an
advocate thing and there was alawsuit and I got a check for
$500.
And it was like what ishappening?
(13:36):
It just it was like things werejust flowing in.
And she asked what were youdoing differently at that time?
And the thing I was doingdifferently is I was pouring
into myself so much, like I waspouring oodles of water and love
and joy into myself.
I was moving to anything thatmade me happy and I literally
(14:02):
steered clear of anything thatbrought me stress.
And I feel like maybe this lastyear I kind of lost balance.
I gave in to stress a littlebit more.
I gave in to things that Iwasn't sure if I wanted to do,
but I did anyways.
And then this last probablymonth or two, I've really been
focusing on like what makes mehappy, what brings me joy, what
(14:25):
makes me feel really good Okay,I'm going to do that or I'm not
going to do that and all of asudden, like I'm just looking
around, feeling more peaceful,feeling like I'm in a different
chapter.
My plans are thriving, myfinancial life is thriving, my
heart feels like it's thriving.
I'm still working on thatthroat chakra.
(14:47):
It gets stuck a lot, my wordsget stuck in my throat, but I
just I'm really happy that I wasalmost able to like slow down.
And I think the clearing Ithink I talked about this in the
last two episodes the clearingof my house helps.
I had these two laptops that Ihave not touched since 2013, but
(15:09):
I have them just in case Ineeded something off of them.
But you know what?
I can barely turn them on, orone of them doesn't even turn on
anymore and the other one I canbarely turn on and everything
is super, super slow.
I took them back to the Applestore yesterday.
Mind you, they have moved withme one, two, three times since
2012.
And I have finally gotten ridof them.
(15:30):
I have two pairs of jeans thatI promised myself I was going to
get hemmed.
They've been sitting on abanister for probably six months
.
I finally just put them in mycloset and I was like I'm not
even going to look at them.
I probably should.
Nope, I'm just not going tolook at them.
I cleaned out my bookshelf, Iwent through my closet what
clothes am I just not wearing?
(15:50):
I'm trying to be reallyintentional and getting rid of
things that are a part of thatold story.
When you look around your house, what items do you have that
might be part of an old storythat you're still telling
yourself?
Maybe you're hanging onto anoutfit that you used to wear and
used to feel so cute in, butyou can't fit into it anymore
and now it makes you feel bad.
(16:11):
Just get rid of it.
Don't blame me when you can fitinto it again.
Just go buy yourself a newoutfit.
Just get rid of it, let go.
I had a conversation with ateacher at work the other day
and her and I were talking abouta situation that I was kind of
stressing about and I keptsaying I just don't know how to
put this down.
I just don't know how to put itdown.
And she said you just got topray, you got to meditate and
(16:34):
then let it go.
And like I really have a hardtime visually figuring out how
to let something go.
But I read somewhere orlistened to a podcast or read I
don't know.
There's so much information inmy brain, but whatever I read
said just don't pick it up.
So often there's a stress in ourlife and we choose to pick it
(16:55):
up and then we can't put it downand I'm just choosing.
I'm done picking it up, I amnot going to, I have dealt with
it.
I have dealt with it and I havereleased it.
But for whatever reason, I keepchoosing, or I kept choosing,
to pick it up or relish on it orthink about it.
And after I did pray and Imeditated and I read about like
(17:16):
just don't pick it up.
It like flipped my wholemindset because now it's almost
like I can send love, I can sendlight and I can.
Just, I don't have to deal withit, it's on the ground and it
just feels so wonderful to beable to just leave it.
Just leave it and not explainwhy, and not over explain to
myself or to other people mychoices, what I have left down
(17:41):
and, at the end of the day,right, we do not chase, we
attract.
We do not chase, we attract.
We do not chase, we attract.
I am telling you, it is so real, it is so real.
We all have pushers in our life, right?
Those people that push us tomake a certain decision almost
feels like sometimes and I hateto use this, the word bully, but
(18:02):
I'm using it in a lighterversion, if that's a thing it
almost feels like if we havefriends or family that, like,
push us or bully us into makingdecisions, or making us feel bad
about what we're doing, andthose are usually the people
that you start to like distanceyourself from, or you feel
(18:22):
shameful when you're around them, or you feel like, how are they
going to judge me around thisor how are they going to think
around this?
It's because those pushers arechasing, they're chasing,
they're chasing.
They're chasing.
They're not allowing people tobe attracted to them.
They're not allowingopportunities to be attracted to
them.
I do not chase, I attract.
I do not push my ideas onpeople, I do not push myself on
(18:46):
people.
At the end of the day, yourlove and your light inside you
will magnetize the right people,and I have seen this whole
concept I'm talking about onReels, on Instagram, on TikTok.
I have read about it incountless books, but it is one
of the most true things I haveever known.
(19:06):
I think I do not chase, Iattract.
I pray about it, I meditate onit and I am just me.
I'm worried about my lane, I'mworried about my car, I'm
worried about my journey and Iwill allow what is supposed to
come in to come in.
And I think too, when you startto really let that happen, the
right doors start opening.
(19:26):
You stop trying to forceyourself into positions or
relationships or places thatwere just not meant for you,
because there's better ones outthere for you.
You just, for some reason,think, well, this is what I need
right now, and this is what Iwant right now and this is what
I'm going to go get, because wecan't even fathom how amazing
(19:47):
and great and wonderful life canand could be.
Because, again, we're also soaddicted to that comfort.
Right, these regular decisions,these normal decisions, these
old stories are comfortable.
It's when we let go and we getuncomfortable and we allow life
to just happen, and sometimesit's scary, but it's also just
(20:09):
so, so great.
So I will leave you with thisas you go through the week,
remember let people be, stay inyour own lane and do not chase.
Let the light inside youattract what is meant for you.
Have a beautiful week, be kindand if you can't be kind, ask
for forgiveness and move on.
Hello and welcome.
Happy Sunday.
This is Go Ask Sawyer with yourhost, jamie.
It's time.
It's been two weeks since mylast podcast and I've had a lot
of time to reflect on what I wasgoing through.
And I don't know about anyoneelse, but I definitely feel like
(00:22):
there has been a shift.
It's almost like I don't knowI've walked into a new room or
like I was.
Well, today is all aboutstories and the old story that
we continue to live with, and Ifelt like my first two episodes
were very much about how I wastalking about feeling stuck.
(00:44):
I was talking about how I feltlost, how I've lost myself, and
I feel like in these last twoweeks, all of a sudden, I have,
I don't know, shed a part ofmyself or come into a new room
or discovered something new andit just feels really good, like
really good.
So that's what our episodetoday is going to be about and
(01:06):
kind of what I've been feeling.
I want to know from mylisteners have you been feeling
something?
There was the eclipse yesterday, the fire eclipse.
A lot of talk around newbeginnings with this one, a lot
of talk around reconnecting withfriends, reconnecting with
people that maybe we haven'ttalked to in a while.
(01:27):
A lot of talk aroundrelationships, just kind of how
are we resetting or are westarting a new relationship or
seeing something in a brighterlight, and that's kind of where
I feel like I am.
So I want to start today withtwo quotes from Bianca Sparacino
.
A gentle reminder this was abook given to me by a very dear
(01:51):
friend for my birthday.
I do love books, and my firstquote that I just love and I
have to constantly remind myselfis this it is quite simple
nothing that is meant for youwill ever get away.
Love deeply and without theneed to possess or own.
Let beautiful connections passthrough you without attachment.
(02:14):
Slam your heart into the peopleand the places and the things
that ignite something deepinside your soul and I promise I
promise the right things willstay.
You will never lose what is foryou.
Please don't ever forget that.
I think I still live in a placewhere I'm scared to go all in.
I'm scared to go all in.
(02:35):
I don't know.
I almost feel like sometimesI've always lived that way, even
though the way I show up isvery much all in.
But I really am trying to getcurious with myself If I was
really all in in love.
What would that look like If Iwas really all in with family or
people that I care about?
(02:56):
What would that look like?
What am I still hiding fromothers or shielding from others
that I am?
I don't know if I want to usethe word shamed or embarrassed,
but I know that I constantly amsecond guessing.
Did I say the right thing?
Or I don't want to say thewrong thing?
What if I upset someone?
What if I say something rude?
(03:16):
Or we all feel that way.
When you're really all in, areyou second guessing or are you
just really being yourself?
Or is also second guessingmaybe just a part of being
mindful of those around you?
So I have been really trying tolook into what does being all
in look like for me, feel likefor me?
That's one thing I'm looking at.
(03:39):
This is a second quote from thesame book.
At the end of the day, it isquite simple.
There are so many uncertain andconfusing things in life, but
love should never be one of them.
Love should never be one ofthem.
Clear is kind.
I've been saying this to mystudents a lot lately.
Clear is kind when I'm rereminding, re reminding of
(04:00):
routines and procedures or theway I need them to speak in my
classroom or be in my classroom.
I feel that the more clear weare, the less confusion there is
, and I think for a minute whenI was kind of losing myself.
I was in a confusing place.
I didn't necessarily know whereI stood in relationships, I
(04:22):
didn't know where I stood in myjob, and the confusion can lead
to doubt and can lead touncertainty.
But at the end of the day, Ineed to remind myself that if
there is confusion around me, Ineed to be strong enough to ask
the questions and then also thatI do have the answers inside.
(04:45):
I do know what I know and sooften I know I've talked on here
about the lack of trust I havewith myself, and a new story I'm
creating in my life is that,yes, I know what is best for me.
Period, point blank.
I will not explain.
This is a new concept because Iam an over-explaner.
(05:05):
If I am going to tell you thisis the example I always use if I
tell you I am going to runanother ultramarathon, let's
just say I have already come upwith every single question
you're going to ask me or everysingle thing you're going to
doubt about it with me.
So I'm going to tell you I'mgoing to run the ultramarathon
(05:25):
and, before you probably evenhave a chance, I will explain
all the reasons.
This is a good thing for me inmy life and I am trying so hard
to get used to notover-explaining.
I don't want to explain to youwhy I want to do this.
I know that I want to do it andthat should be enough.
Now there's always the asteriskright.
(05:47):
There's always the people that,hey, I just want to know more
about this.
Like you've done this before,you've gotten injured before.
What are you going to dodifferently this time?
Not in a judgmental way, not ina I think you're crazy for
doing this way, but those peoplethat genuinely just are curious
, and I think I get confused inmy life between friends or
(06:11):
people that are curious aboutwhat I'm doing and people that
are judging me, and that goes, Iguess, hand in hand with inside
of my actually judging myself,like why can't I just?
Why do I feel like I have toexplain?
I do think, mom and dad, ifyou're listening, I do think I
might get some of that from youin the best way, because, again,
(06:32):
we only know what we know fromwhat we are taught.
My father and I were talking theother day about people who are
hard-headed or stubborn, andanother thing I've kind of been
looking at is people who arestubborn right, and we only
think they're stubborn becausethey're not doing what we want
them to do, whether it be oh, somany things start reading a
(06:55):
book, whether it be startworking out, stop drinking soda,
get out of a relationship.
That's bad for them.
Whatever the choice we think isbest for them, if they don't
want to do it we consider themstubborn or hard-headed.
But at the end of the day and Itold my dad this at the end of
the day, like we're pushing ourchoices, our views that what we
(07:18):
think is best for that person onthem, and because they don't
want to do it, we consider themhard-headed when that's not it
at all.
They just they don't.
The other person doesn't haveto do what we tell them to do,
even if maybe it's a betterchoice for them.
But no one is ever going to beready to whatever.
Leave the relationship, leavethe job, start the job, start
(07:40):
the healthy lifestyle, get upearlier, whatever it is.
Until they are ready and Ithink, because I don't like to
be considered, we'll just say,hard-headed.
When I've had conversations,maybe with my dad, I always back
up my whatever I'm going to dowith all the reasons why this is
good for me.
Again, I'm going to overexplain to him so he doesn't
(08:01):
come back in me over explaining.
A lot of times if I tell my momI'm going to do something,
she'll listen and she asks a lotof questions.
I know she's curious, but to meit feels like judgment and so I
over explain, over explain,over explain and, as a
recovering people pleaser, itfeels rude to not over-explain.
(08:23):
Does anyone else feel this way?
Like if I said I am going toquit my job as a teacher and go
back to Starbucks, I'd have amillion people telling me a
million different reasons why Ishould or shouldn't, or all the
judgments in the world, and itwould feel so rude to me to just
be like nope, this is what I'mgonna do.
(08:45):
I feel like I owe it to othersin society who, by the way, have
nothing to do with my life.
I feel like I owe it to othersto explain my movements, and so
that's something new that I'mtrying to practice doing.
So if I tell you something, ifyou come across me in the real
world, outside of the podcastworld, and I tell you something,
(09:08):
and I get a weird look on myface because I cannot hide my
feelings.
I am working on notover-explaining myself.
Does anyone else do this?
It's just just me.
So I'm leaving these old storiesbehind.
An old story that I have is Idon't need to keep achieving, I
can just be happy and be contentwhere I'm at and I just need to
stop reaching for things thatare outside of my realm or maybe
(09:32):
outside of outside of where Ishould be right now, like I just
need to hunker down and just behappy with the life that I have
created, and I feel like thatwas a story that I made up for
myself again to make othershappy, to make others feel safe
with what I was doing with mylife.
(09:54):
I just wonder who else outthere has an old story that they
have told themselves.
Maybe I am not a good runner,or I don't know how to podcast,
or I've never read before.
I don't know how to read or nothow to read, but I've never
enjoyed reading and I'm not areader.
But maybe you just haven'tfound the right book.
Maybe you haven't found theright training plan.
(10:14):
Maybe you aren't supposed to bea runner and walking is more
your speed.
Maybe none of that is for youand maybe there's something
completely different.
But I challenge anyonelistening what is an old story
you have told yourself thatmaybe you can start to rewrite
with this new eclipse that iskind of coming and we're getting
into that fall, winter seasonwhere I feel like we can kind of
(10:38):
hunker down and renew.
I was looking at my plants theother day.
I have my friend, nicole, hasgiven me a lot of her plant
clippings over the last twoyears and my little garden has
just really kind of become thishuge, beautiful garden that I
have.
But the other day, as I waswatering my plants and just
(11:02):
looking like, wow, these areawesome.
I realize it's taken a year totwo years to grow a lot of these
to where they are now and Ijust get so stuck in the why
isn't my life where I want it tobe right now, instead of
thinking like maybe I need tomove I'm not necessarily saying
physically, but like move myhouse around, move my body in a
(11:25):
different way, move how I am inthe sunlight, how I am outside.
I had a monstera that was justnot doing well and I got a
friend of mine a monstera forher new house and she has this
really great window that it's infront of.
And this monstera has grownthree times its size and I'm so
(11:47):
jealous of it because it's justlike growing like crazy and
she's done nothing but put it infront of this amazing window.
So I put my monstera outside, Iburned the leaves, I brought it
inside and put it too close tothe wrong window and a bunch of
leaves turned brown and thenfell off.
Then I over-watered it.
Finally I found a windowupstairs in my room with just a
(12:09):
beautiful light that it can seethe sky all day, and already I
have three new leaves withinlike a month.
And I think it's it's because,like I parallel this to her
plant, like I wanted my plant tobe like hers so bad.
I was like forcing love andlight and water on my plant and
I was just kind of killing ituntil I just kind of took a step
(12:32):
back, found a better spot andthen left it alone.
Same thing with my money tree.
I almost killed my money treeand then I did some more
research on it and I found abetter spot and now, like it has
so many leaves.
So I've just really been tryingto parallel, like maybe I was
feeling stuck and maybe I waskind of spiraling because I just
wasn't in the right place,maybe I was putting my energy
(12:55):
into the wrong things, and Ireally feel like maybe that was
happening.
I'm in a book club, also onMonday nights and we're
discussing the confidence codeand someone a friend of mine,
asked we're trying about money.
And she said Jamie, like a yearago or something you said,
literally like money was justpouring in.
(13:16):
It was crazy.
Like I got a check from a bankthat I had closed years prior
and they like refunded all myfees for this checking account I
had.
And like I just got a check for$150 and then I was part of an
advocate thing and there was alawsuit and I got a check for
$500.
And it was like what ishappening?
(13:36):
It just it was like things werejust flowing in.
And she asked what were youdoing differently at that time?
And the thing I was doingdifferently is I was pouring
into myself so much, like I waspouring oodles of water and love
and joy into myself.
I was moving to anything thatmade me happy and I literally
(14:02):
steered clear of anything thatbrought me stress.
And I feel like maybe this lastyear I kind of lost balance.
I gave in to stress a littlebit more.
I gave in to things that Iwasn't sure if I wanted to do,
but I did anyways.
And then this last probablymonth or two, I've really been
focusing on like what makes mehappy, what brings me joy, what
(14:25):
makes me feel really good Okay,I'm going to do that or I'm not
going to do that and all of asudden, like I'm just looking
around, feeling more peaceful,feeling like I'm in a different
chapter.
My plans are thriving, myfinancial life is thriving, my
heart feels like it's thriving.
I'm still working on thatthroat chakra.
(14:47):
It gets stuck a lot, my wordsget stuck in my throat, but I
just I'm really happy that I wasalmost able to like slow down.
And I think the clearing Ithink I talked about this in the
last two episodes the clearingof my house helps.
I had these two laptops that Ihave not touched since 2013, but
(15:09):
I have them just in case Ineeded something off of them.
But you know what?
I can barely turn them on, orone of them doesn't even turn on
anymore and the other one I canbarely turn on and everything
is super, super slow.
I took them back to the Applestore yesterday.
Mind you, they have moved withme one, two, three times since
2012.
And I have finally gotten ridof them.
(15:30):
I have two pairs of jeans thatI promised myself I was going to
get hemmed.
They've been sitting on abanister for probably six months
.
I finally just put them in mycloset and I was like I'm not
even going to look at them.
I probably should.
Nope, I'm just not going tolook at them.
I cleaned out my bookshelf, Iwent through my closet what
clothes am I just not wearing?
(15:50):
I'm trying to be reallyintentional and getting rid of
things that are a part of thatold story.
When you look around your house, what items do you have that
might be part of an old storythat you're still telling
yourself?
Maybe you're hanging onto anoutfit that you used to wear and
used to feel so cute in, butyou can't fit into it anymore
and now it makes you feel bad.
(16:11):
Just get rid of it.
Don't blame me when you can fitinto it again.
Just go buy yourself a newoutfit.
Just get rid of it, let go.
I had a conversation with ateacher at work the other day
and her and I were talking abouta situation that I was kind of
stressing about and I keptsaying I just don't know how to
put this down.
I just don't know how to put itdown.
And she said you just got topray, you got to meditate and
(16:34):
then let it go.
And like I really have a hardtime visually figuring out how
to let something go.
But I read somewhere orlistened to a podcast or read I
don't know.
There's so much information inmy brain, but whatever I read
said just don't pick it up.
So often there's a stress in ourlife and we choose to pick it
(16:55):
up and then we can't put it downand I'm just choosing.
I'm done picking it up, I amnot going to, I have dealt with
it.
I have dealt with it and I havereleased it.
But for whatever reason, I keepchoosing, or I kept choosing,
to pick it up or relish on it orthink about it.
And after I did pray and Imeditated and I read about like
(17:16):
just don't pick it up.
It like flipped my wholemindset because now it's almost
like I can send love, I can sendlight and I can.
Just, I don't have to deal withit, it's on the ground and it
just feels so wonderful to beable to just leave it.
Just leave it and not explainwhy, and not over explain to
myself or to other people mychoices, what I have left down
(17:41):
and, at the end of the day,right, we do not chase, we
attract.
We do not chase, we attract.
We do not chase, we attract.
I am telling you, it is so real, it is so real.
We all have pushers in our life, right?
Those people that push us tomake a certain decision almost
feels like sometimes and I hateto use this, the word bully, but
(18:02):
I'm using it in a lighterversion, if that's a thing it
almost feels like if we havefriends or family that, like,
push us or bully us into makingdecisions, or making us feel bad
about what we're doing, andthose are usually the people
that you start to like distanceyourself from, or you feel
(18:22):
shameful when you're around them, or you feel like, how are they
going to judge me around thisor how are they going to think
around this?
It's because those pushers arechasing, they're chasing,
they're chasing.
They're chasing.
They're not allowing people tobe attracted to them.
They're not allowingopportunities to be attracted to
them.
I do not chase, I attract.
I do not push my ideas onpeople, I do not push myself on
(18:46):
people.
At the end of the day, yourlove and your light inside you
will magnetize the right people,and I have seen this whole
concept I'm talking about onReels, on Instagram, on TikTok.
I have read about it incountless books, but it is one
of the most true things I haveever known.
(19:06):
I think I do not chase, Iattract.
I pray about it, I meditate onit and I am just me.
I'm worried about my lane, I'mworried about my car, I'm
worried about my journey and Iwill allow what is supposed to
come in to come in.
And I think too, when you startto really let that happen, the
right doors start opening.
(19:26):
You stop trying to forceyourself into positions or
relationships or places thatwere just not meant for you,
because there's better ones outthere for you.
You just, for some reason,think, well, this is what I need
right now, and this is what Iwant right now and this is what
I'm going to go get, because wecan't even fathom how amazing
(19:47):
and great and wonderful life canand could be.
Because, again, we're also soaddicted to that comfort.
Right, these regular decisions,these normal decisions, these
old stories are comfortable.
It's when we let go and we getuncomfortable and we allow life
to just happen, and sometimesit's scary, but it's also just
(20:09):
so, so great.
So I will leave you with thisas you go through the week,
remember let people be, stay inyour own lane and do not chase.
Let the light inside youattract what is meant for you.
Have a beautiful week, be kindand if you can't be kind, ask
for forgiveness and move on.
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