Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome
back.
Happy Sunday everyone.
This is Go Ask Sawyer.
I appreciate you pressing play,I appreciate you listening and
I hope you appreciate yourselffor taking a few minutes out of
your day to pour back into you,which is what this series is all
about Pouring into who you areand discovering different parts
(00:22):
of yourself, healing differentparts of yourself, letting go of
things that you need to let goof so you can live your best,
shiniest, healthiest life youcan, because, like I always say,
you are worth it.
Welcome If you are new here.
This is a journaling series I amdoing.
(00:42):
What you will need is a journaland something to write with or
a notes app whatever you aremost comfortable with and to
start each podcast, I ask thatyou sit for three minutes and
just write, dump out your brain.
You may write song lyrics.
You may write about differentthings that you see around your
(01:05):
house.
You may write about the biggestdreams you could ever imagine.
You can write a letter toyourself.
You can write a letter tosomeone, but for three minutes.
I'm encouraging you to not stop.
So, to kick us off and get usstarted, let's do our journaling
.
I'm going to ask you to presspause.
Set your timer for threeminutes and meet me back here.
(01:26):
Go ahead, welcome back.
I hope that felt good today.
My journaling has been a waythat I have worked through
things in my life, that I haveworked on my healing, that I
have uncovered things.
Last week we did or two weeksago, sorry, we did a podcast on
(01:47):
anger, and anger is the mostbasic emotion and we all know
there's more under that.
So when I journal about thingsthat I'm going through, a lot of
times I start to uncover whatis actually going on, instead of
just being like I'm angry butall of a sudden going on,
instead of just being like I'mangry but all of a sudden things
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come up like I felt abandoned,or I abandoned myself, or I
really trusted this person, or Iknew I shouldn't have done that
, but I did it anyways.
The anger kind of turns intoother things maybe shame, maybe
embarrassment, maybe evenfrustration, and it gives us a
chance to look inside.
So, speaking of, we are movinginto a mini series about
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emotional honesty.
So I was going to do a wholepodcast today on lying which I
still am, but when I was writingabout lying and doing some
research about why people lie, Iso much came up about it.
So I'm going to do a eight-weekmini-series on getting honest
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with ourself and we'll look atdifferent aspects of why people
lie.
I want our listeners to be ableto take their masks off,
uncover their emotional patternsand reconnect with their most
honest selves in relationshipsmeaning with themselves and with
others.
Side note if you hear someweird huffing in the background,
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my animals are fighting.
I've tried the treats alreadytoday and they're ready to go
outside and play.
So if you hear that thefighting in the background, that
is them To start our podcastoff today.
Why do we lie?
Why do we lie to ourselves?
Why do we lie to others?
And I think a very simpleanswer could be because we don't
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want to get caught.
Like, we know, we've donesomething wrong and we don't
want to get caught, which iscompletely like yeah, of course,
but going deeper than that,like thinking about who taught
us we had to lie to get what wewanted.
Who taught us that we had tolie maybe to be liked or to be
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accepted?
Who taught us that speakingtruth is less powerful than
lying, when, in reality, thosethat really speak truth, or
their truth or whatever it maybe you know what you're getting
with them, right, there is noquestion, you know exactly what
you're getting with those people.
So if you want to be a personthat others look to and they're
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like, oh yeah, when I talk toso-and-so or when they speak, I
know what I'm getting, if youwant to be a person like that,
how can we get there?
We are going to start off with aBible verse, proverbs 15, 3,.
The eyes of the Lord areeverywhere, keeping watch on the
wicked and the good.
I came across this the otherday when I was doing some
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uncovering for myself and justrealizing that, like, every time
we think A we're getting awaywith something bad, he is always
watching or she is alwayswatching.
And anytime we do things goodand we're like dang, no one sees
this ever.
No one ever pays attention.
He or she is watching andlistening and the gifts or I
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don't know if you want to saypunishment the gifts or the
consequences will come, butmaybe not always exactly when we
expect it.
So, thinking about when we'relying, and just because we're
speaking on that today, when welie and we think like, oh good,
we got away with it, spirit'salways watching.
Right, they remove you fromplaces.
Spirit's always watching right.
They remove you from places.
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They remove places from you,people from you.
They're always watching andlistening.
So then we have to ask ourselfwe go back to.
Why do we do this?
A part of uncovering ourselveswhich is the series, the big
series that we're in our worth,shame, anger, settling is also
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uncovering where we are notbeing truthful with who we are.
We lie to ourselves when we donot want to face what we have
done or when we're not yet readyto take action.
That's the other thing.
Like, if I don't actually wantto change something about what
I'm doing, I will also lie,because once I speak the truth
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to, let's just say, friends orfamily or whatever, then it's
called out.
Then it's like dang, now Ireally have to face it.
And it's also why we lie toourselves.
We lie to cover up our actions,hide something we're ashamed of
or continue getting somethingfrom someone or a situation,
knowing that if they knew thetruth it will be taken away.
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And I've thought a lot aboutthat because we think about when
people are deceitful toward us.
Sometimes it's also becausethey're getting, you know, an
energy from you, or they'regetting a payment from you or
they're getting I don't evenknow gifts from you.
And they know that if they weretruthful with whatever was
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happening maybe somethingthey're doing behind the scenes
or whatever that you would thenget to make the decision to
leave their lives.
And since they don't want that,that's when the deception comes
in.
How many times have you donethat?
I don't know.
If I've, I'm sure I have.
I can't think of anything offthe top of my head.
I know I usually lie or tellhalf-truths which we'll talk
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about in a second when I don'twant to be called out and when
I'm not, again, not in alignmentand I know I'm not in alignment
but I don't want to yet stop orface the consequences.
We can lie full out or in bitsand pieces.
So I recently had an experiencewith someone where they told a
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lot of half-truths.
Instead of saying the oneperson they were with, they
would say a group of people theywere with.
So they were still telling mewhere they were and they were
still naming one of the people,but because they named five
other people, I didn't questionit.
So again, the half-truth I'mgoing to tell you half of this.
So then maybe they would feelbetter Like, oh well, I mean, I
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did tell the truth-ish.
When have you done that before?
I know I've done that before,when I haven't wanted to be
questioned.
I'll say parts of things thatare true so that other questions
don't come up.
But that still is deceit notbeing transparent.
Because as soon as you have toonly say part of it, you got to
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ask yourself why can't I say allof it?
What am I scared of?
What am I worried about here?
Anytime you're not givingsomeone a full picture, you're
not allowing that other personto make their own decisions
about you know, stay, leave,stop talking to you, whatever
the decision may be.
So then, in a way, you'recontrolling their decision based
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on what you're telling them.
And what do we call that,friends?
Manipulation, right,manipulating the situation or
the person so they can'tactually make a real, truthful
decision.
Lies, deceit, hurt all of us indifferent kind of ways, but
specifically the person that'ssaying it.
I'm not even going to talkabout the consequences of the
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people that receive it right now, but the people that are
putting them out there, the lies, the half-truths.
We'll say what can happen.
First of all, the stress thatthe lie has as it sits on us.
We gain weight, the stress thatthe lie has as it sits on us.
We gain weight, we break out inrashes, pimples, zits, we lose
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hair, we lose sleep.
Right, so physically, yourwhole body will start to show
that.
I have seen that firsthand onmyself.
So, physically, emotionally,lies can cause forgetfulness.
Right, you forget what you'redoing, you forget what you're
saying.
You're irresponsible, you mightget more irritated with other
people, you can't think straightor keep conversation straight
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and you might even start toisolate yourself because of lies
that you're trying to keep up.
It's exhausting and again, I amspeaking from firsthand
experiences on this it can getreal exhausting to keep certain
things up because you can't justface it.
Also, once the lie gets too big, it's just so scary and
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terrifying.
It's like standing on the edgeof a cliff thinking like, should
I?
Just?
It's like so big and so scarythat, like, once I jump, it's
all going to come out and I haveto face all of it mentally,
right?
So we're standing on the edgeof this cliff and we're just not
ready to jump.
We're not ready to faceeverything.
What do we do?
We pick up bad habits to copedrink way more than we should,
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smoking, sleeping aroundspending lots of money, anything
we can do to kind of like numbourselves or hide from ourselves
so we don't have to face it.
As I'm talking about this, isthis hitting anyone out there
listening?
Like, oh man, I have done that,or I just went through that and
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I have noticed in my lifethere's been big moments and
small moments, like I wouldn'tconsider myself a liar, like I
don't live a life of lies, but Iknow there's been moments in my
life where I have lied forvarious reasons.
I also notice I'll get to thisin a minute Can you go through
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life not lying?
So, as we think about this, Irecently so whenever I do my
podcast, I will reach out tofriends.
Sometimes if I'm out at the bar, like I'll ask strangers around
me.
And there was this group ofpeople sitting by me the other
day and I asked them if I askedthem first of all, why people
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lie, and then I asked them if Ithought there were any good
reasons to lie, and one of theguys said, well, I never lie,
I'm a Christian.
And I was like, okay, well, now, whether that is true or not,
if that is true, I love that forhim, but whether that is true
or not.
It got me thinking about can wego through life not lying?
What would that look like to beso transparent that you just
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didn't ever have to hideanything?
Or are there times that we liefor a good reason?
Is there a good reason Toprotect someone's feelings?
Would it be okay To shieldsomeone from hurt?
Would it be okay I think, anylie that I've ever found out
about like on the other end, Ialways wish, like why didn't you
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trust me enough to just say itas much as we've all heard that
saying right, the truth can hurt, but the truth will always set
us free, something like that.
Why sometimes are we more scaredof just speaking the truth than
building up a whole hill oflies, when just saying it would
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bring or take so much stress off?
So I would love to know fromyou do you think you can go
through life without lying?
And if yes or if no, when islying acceptable?
When we lie, we're.
We are out of alignment, andthat's what I have realized for
myself.
I know for myself.
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Whenever I've lied, it was againlike I said in the beginning,
to keep something from someonethat I did not want to have to
face either the consequences orI did not want to have to stop
Also like just feeling soashamed, like to go to someone
and have to say the real thing.
To go to someone and have tosay the real thing, you also
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have to take on all maybe thesadness that they are about to
feel.
You might feel extreme shameand embarrassment, but how
beautiful could that be for youto sit across from that person
and just kind of be like I'mgoing to accept this because I
respect you, because I love you,because I want whatever if it's
a friendship or a family shiplike I want to make sure this is
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repaired Would you be able tosit and really speak your truth
this week?
I really want you to look atdifferent parts of your life
that you have noticed like Ialways lie in this area or I'm
really truthful over here, andthink about why that is, or even
certain people.
That's what I was going to saybefore.
Maybe there's certain people youlie to more than others and, if
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so, why.
I notice I lie to people that Iknow are going to call me out
more than people in my life thatare.
What do I want to say?
Not people pleasers, butfriends of mine that are just
like yep, that's a great idea.
Yep, that's a great idea.
Yep, that's a great idea.
Because a part of me feels like,well, they're never going to
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tell me I'm wrong or they'renever going to call me out, but
people in my life that mightcall me out I may lie to a
little bit more, because I'm notready to face that consequence.
I may lie to a little bit morebecause I'm not ready to face
that consequence.
So when you lie, you are out ofalignment.
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This week let's look at wherein our lives are we out of
alignment and where in our livesare we in alignment and how can
we move some things around.
When you journal this week,write that stuff down it's just
you and your journal.
It's just you and your words.
It's just you and your thoughts.
Next week, we look at the wayswe lie to ourselves and what it
would feel like to live withouta mask.
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So till then, stay cute, stayloud, keep dancing, even when
everyone is watching.
Peace.