November 12, 2024 • 9 mins
Why I'm making a podcast.
- I used to be afraid of posting on social media
- I learned that making separate accounts gave me permission to post more freely without it being my entire identity
- Started having health issues
- No energy to talk on phone
- Memory problems and need to document so I would not forget my experience
- Started posting on close friends on IG
- Surprised at how much it helped me and how much others were interested
- Realized my fear of posting was fear of being judged by people
- So now I am posting this to tell my story and not be afraid of judgement
- And hope it helps someone with their health journey or help someone feel less alone
Audio and production quality will improve over time with future episodes :)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Golden Girl, a space where we dive deep into health, healing, connection, and community.
(00:07):
I'm your host, Becca Golden, and this podcast is all about sharing and documenting my journey.
Each episode, we'll discuss topics like health and wellness, what I'm learning in therapy,
work-life balance, relationships, community, and all the ways I strive for more aliveness
and presence every day.
Let's dive in.
(00:29):
Welcome to the very first episode of Golden Girl.
I'm so glad you're here.
It means the world to me, and I'm a little nervous, but at the same time, this just feels
really natural, so I'm excited.
So for today's episode, it's just me, but in the future, I'll have other people on here
(00:52):
with me.
But I wanted to just first record to tell the story of why I'm doing a podcast in the
first place.
So I used to be really afraid of posting on social media.
Up until a couple years ago, I really did not post that much.
(01:12):
I never posted anything on stories.
I was always, I would put so much thought into every little post because I really felt
like, oh my God, everything that I post defines me as a person.
I really felt like memorializing anything that's coming from me would reflect back on
who I am, and that just felt like a lot of pressure.
(01:34):
So I really never used to post.
So then I had this friend a few years ago who really encouraged me to start posting some
of my projects and hobbies on Instagram.
So I made a bunch of Instagram accounts and you guys probably already follow them.
I have one for my knitting and one for my DIY furniture and then one for my salads.
(01:58):
I have a few others.
Some of them are still secret. But I was so reluctant to start posting all this stuff
because it just felt very invasive.
I guess I just felt really protective over my life and what I was up to and sharing that
with people.
It's very vulnerable to share what you're doing with the world.
And so it really intimidated me.
So I made all these different Instagram accounts reluctantly and much to my surprise, it really
(02:24):
helped me lean into these different aspects of my identity in ways that I just did not
expect.
So rather than having a post be like, oh, this defines me, this salad that I made now
defines me as a person, it was more so letting me really lean into those aspects of who I
am.
(02:45):
So okay, this whole Instagram account is for salads.
That's the whole reason it's there.
It's not me.
This is an Instagram account for salads.
So it's not, it doesn't define me.
And for my DIY projects, it was like, okay, if I build a table or put up some wallpaper,
that doesn't define who I am.
That's just my DIY page.
It's not me.
(03:05):
And I think it also helped me sort of take a layer of judgment off of it because they're
just for fun.
So now fast forward to this past year and a half or so when I have been dealing with
a lot of health issues, really mysterious health issues that we'll dive way deep into
(03:26):
as we continue the podcast.
But my main symptom was fatigue, but it was also trouble with my memory.
I was having trouble with words.
Anytime I would catch up with friends on the phone, it was so exhausting.
Everything was so exhausting.
I had really limited emotional bandwidth.
So it was just, everything was such a struggle.
(03:47):
And I felt really alone and isolated during that time because I was losing my memory.
I felt like I was just desperate to document everything.
So I recorded so many voice notes.
I did a lot of journaling when I could.
I did a lot of video diaries.
I think I did it because I knew that what I was going through was really important and
(04:10):
that I could learn from it and look back.
But it was also just to have a witness because I was going through all this on my own and
nobody's here with me to see what I'm going through every day.
It's just me.
And so I really felt this desperation to document what I was going through and make sure that
it was memorialized somewhere so that I could look back one day and see what I had been
(04:35):
going through because I was really worried I would forget it.
As part of my health journey, I also had to be resting a lot and ignoring a lot of phone
calls, ignoring a lot of texts, just caring for myself and my own needs, putting my own
needs first above all else.
And I felt really guilty for that.
(04:58):
I hated that I was losing touch with certain friends of mine.
I hated that I wasn't showing up for people the same way.
And I didn't even have the energy to explain why.
Like I didn't even have the energy to call people and be like, hey, I've been really
having a hard time.
So because I was too tired to talk on the phone with a lot of my friends, I started
posting on my close friend's story on Instagram.
(05:21):
It's like a handful of people and I just would post everything, unabridged, train of thought,
the highs and the lows, a lot about my period.
And the point wasn't to cry for help, it was just to show everyone what's been going on
and to share my story with my loved ones without having to repeat myself over and over.
(05:46):
So in recording these close friends video messages, it was a lot like this.
I would just talk to my phone.
It helped me share what I was going through with everyone.
And then I was so surprised at the messages that I got in reply.
There were not that many people on here, but I got messages from people like, hey, can
(06:06):
you add my sister to this close friends group?
Because she's going through a lot of health stuff and this could be really helpful for
her.
Or people who would like text me and be like, hey, can you send me the name of that doctor
that you're working with?
Or hey, what does it mean if my prolactin levels are high?
Or like, "hey, congratulations on getting your period today!"
So it really helped me feel so much more connected to people that I care about, even though I
(06:32):
didn't have the energy to connect with them personally the way that I used to.
Okay, so now fast forward to today.
I'm still working through a lot of health things and it's been such a beautiful journey.
I've learned an unbelievable amount of information about my body and about the human body and
(06:54):
how human beings experience life.
And it's so cool.
I am absolutely blown away at what the human body is capable of and what I am capable of.
Some of my symptoms are getting better.
Some of my symptoms are getting worse or I'm getting new ones.
And that's all part of the process.
But I'm so beyond grateful to share that my energy levels have largely returned, which
(07:18):
is the greatest gift that I could ever have asked for.
So now that my health symptoms aren't as disruptive as they used to be to the rest of my life,
I've been really working on finding my voice and building self-trust.
I'll go way into that in more episodes as well.
But this finding my voice concept has to do with standing up for myself, not being passive,
(07:43):
owning my narrative, letting go of judgment, feeling liberated by just being completely
unapologetically myself in every way.
And so as I'm learning to trust myself and trust my intuition and just be unapologetically
myself, I'm learning that the fear of posting something had to do with judgment.
(08:05):
I was afraid that people would judge who I am based off of this post.
So I'm doing the exact thing that I have always been so afraid to do.
I really think sharing your story is such a powerful way to connect with people and to
build community and help show people that they're not alone.
(08:27):
This podcast is to document my journey and what I'm learning, what I've learned about
my body and my health as just a regular human being living my life and having to do a lot
of research on my own and learn how my body works so that I can support it.
(08:48):
This podcast is me letting go of judgment and just deciding to do the thing, do the
thing that makes me afraid and posting it for the world.
So thank you for listening and I hope you continue to listen.
(09:08):
It means so much to me that you're here.
Welcome to Golden Girl, a space where we dive deep into health, healing, connection, and community.
(00:07):
I'm your host, Becca Golden, and this podcast is all about sharing and documenting my journey.
Each episode, we'll discuss topics like health and wellness, what I'm learning in therapy,
work-life balance, relationships, community, and all the ways I strive for more aliveness
and presence every day.
Let's dive in.
(00:29):
Welcome to the very first episode of Golden Girl.
I'm so glad you're here.
It means the world to me, and I'm a little nervous, but at the same time, this just feels
really natural, so I'm excited.
So for today's episode, it's just me, but in the future, I'll have other people on here
(00:52):
with me.
But I wanted to just first record to tell the story of why I'm doing a podcast in the
first place.
So I used to be really afraid of posting on social media.
Up until a couple years ago, I really did not post that much.
(01:12):
I never posted anything on stories.
I was always, I would put so much thought into every little post because I really felt
like, oh my God, everything that I post defines me as a person.
I really felt like memorializing anything that's coming from me would reflect back on
who I am, and that just felt like a lot of pressure.
(01:34):
So I really never used to post.
So then I had this friend a few years ago who really encouraged me to start posting some
of my projects and hobbies on Instagram.
So I made a bunch of Instagram accounts and you guys probably already follow them.
I have one for my knitting and one for my DIY furniture and then one for my salads.
(01:58):
I have a few others.
Some of them are still secret. But I was so reluctant to start posting all this stuff
because it just felt very invasive.
I guess I just felt really protective over my life and what I was up to and sharing that
with people.
It's very vulnerable to share what you're doing with the world.
And so it really intimidated me.
So I made all these different Instagram accounts reluctantly and much to my surprise, it really
(02:24):
helped me lean into these different aspects of my identity in ways that I just did not
expect.
So rather than having a post be like, oh, this defines me, this salad that I made now
defines me as a person, it was more so letting me really lean into those aspects of who I
am.
(02:45):
So okay, this whole Instagram account is for salads.
That's the whole reason it's there.
It's not me.
This is an Instagram account for salads.
So it's not, it doesn't define me.
And for my DIY projects, it was like, okay, if I build a table or put up some wallpaper,
that doesn't define who I am.
That's just my DIY page.
It's not me.
(03:05):
And I think it also helped me sort of take a layer of judgment off of it because they're
just for fun.
So now fast forward to this past year and a half or so when I have been dealing with
a lot of health issues, really mysterious health issues that we'll dive way deep into
(03:26):
as we continue the podcast.
But my main symptom was fatigue, but it was also trouble with my memory.
I was having trouble with words.
Anytime I would catch up with friends on the phone, it was so exhausting.
Everything was so exhausting.
I had really limited emotional bandwidth.
So it was just, everything was such a struggle.
(03:47):
And I felt really alone and isolated during that time because I was losing my memory.
I felt like I was just desperate to document everything.
So I recorded so many voice notes.
I did a lot of journaling when I could.
I did a lot of video diaries.
I think I did it because I knew that what I was going through was really important and
(04:10):
that I could learn from it and look back.
But it was also just to have a witness because I was going through all this on my own and
nobody's here with me to see what I'm going through every day.
It's just me.
And so I really felt this desperation to document what I was going through and make sure that
it was memorialized somewhere so that I could look back one day and see what I had been
(04:35):
going through because I was really worried I would forget it.
As part of my health journey, I also had to be resting a lot and ignoring a lot of phone
calls, ignoring a lot of texts, just caring for myself and my own needs, putting my own
needs first above all else.
And I felt really guilty for that.
(04:58):
I hated that I was losing touch with certain friends of mine.
I hated that I wasn't showing up for people the same way.
And I didn't even have the energy to explain why.
Like I didn't even have the energy to call people and be like, hey, I've been really
having a hard time.
So because I was too tired to talk on the phone with a lot of my friends, I started
posting on my close friend's story on Instagram.
(05:21):
It's like a handful of people and I just would post everything, unabridged, train of thought,
the highs and the lows, a lot about my period.
And the point wasn't to cry for help, it was just to show everyone what's been going on
and to share my story with my loved ones without having to repeat myself over and over.
(05:46):
So in recording these close friends video messages, it was a lot like this.
I would just talk to my phone.
It helped me share what I was going through with everyone.
And then I was so surprised at the messages that I got in reply.
There were not that many people on here, but I got messages from people like, hey, can
(06:06):
you add my sister to this close friends group?
Because she's going through a lot of health stuff and this could be really helpful for
her.
Or people who would like text me and be like, hey, can you send me the name of that doctor
that you're working with?
Or hey, what does it mean if my prolactin levels are high?
Or like, "hey, congratulations on getting your period today!"
So it really helped me feel so much more connected to people that I care about, even though I
(06:32):
didn't have the energy to connect with them personally the way that I used to.
Okay, so now fast forward to today.
I'm still working through a lot of health things and it's been such a beautiful journey.
I've learned an unbelievable amount of information about my body and about the human body and
(06:54):
how human beings experience life.
And it's so cool.
I am absolutely blown away at what the human body is capable of and what I am capable of.
Some of my symptoms are getting better.
Some of my symptoms are getting worse or I'm getting new ones.
And that's all part of the process.
But I'm so beyond grateful to share that my energy levels have largely returned, which
(07:18):
is the greatest gift that I could ever have asked for.
So now that my health symptoms aren't as disruptive as they used to be to the rest of my life,
I've been really working on finding my voice and building self-trust.
I'll go way into that in more episodes as well.
But this finding my voice concept has to do with standing up for myself, not being passive,
(07:43):
owning my narrative, letting go of judgment, feeling liberated by just being completely
unapologetically myself in every way.
And so as I'm learning to trust myself and trust my intuition and just be unapologetically
myself, I'm learning that the fear of posting something had to do with judgment.
(08:05):
I was afraid that people would judge who I am based off of this post.
So I'm doing the exact thing that I have always been so afraid to do.
I really think sharing your story is such a powerful way to connect with people and to
build community and help show people that they're not alone.
(08:27):
This podcast is to document my journey and what I'm learning, what I've learned about
my body and my health as just a regular human being living my life and having to do a lot
of research on my own and learn how my body works so that I can support it.
(08:48):
This podcast is me letting go of judgment and just deciding to do the thing, do the
thing that makes me afraid and posting it for the world.
So thank you for listening and I hope you continue to listen.
(09:08):
It means so much to me that you're here.
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