All Episodes

April 21, 2025 39 mins

What if everything therapists have told you about saving your marriage is completely backwards? 

Join Matt and Dr. Bruce Chalmer as they challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships and take a deep dive into what it really takes to cultivate genuine intimacy, stability, and the kind of authentic connection that carries couples through life's most brutal storms. 

You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of why communication might not be the real problem, how stability can sometimes work against you, and overcoming infidelity.

Dr. Chalmer's counterintuitive approach isn’t what you’ll find in typical relationship advice books. Whether you're navigating serious betrayal or simply feeling disconnected, this conversation offers the kind of revolutionary perspective that can transform your relationship pain into power.

0:00 Introduction

5:42 Forgiveness as an inside job

11:15 Communication isn't the core issue

16:19 Kindness, faith, and not panicking

21:47 The importance of kindness in relationships

27:15 Why great sex lives are uncommon

31:42 Betrayal can lead to relationship growth

33:53 First steps after discovering betrayal

36:50 Key takeaways on marriage and relationships

Resources Mentioned:

📚Dr. Bruce Chalmer's books:

 "Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Couples Lose Intimacy and How to Get It Back"

  "It's Not About Communication: Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy Is Wrong"

🌐Dr. Bruce Chalmer's website: 

https://brucechalmer.com

"Couples Therapy in Seven Words" podcast by Dr. Bruce Chalmer and Judy Alexander:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/couples-therapy-in-seven-words/id1517231158

About the Guest:

Dr. Bruce Chalmer is a psychologist and couples therapist with over 30 years of experience helping couples navigate the complexities of relationships. He is the author of multiple books challenging conventional wisdom about marriage and therapy, including "It's Not About Communication: Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy Is Wrong." Dr. Chalmer co-hosts the "Couples Therapy in Seven Words" podcast and offers coaching services to help couples reignite intimacy and overcome challenges in their relationships.

Mark as Played

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.