July 8, 2025 • 20 mins
Ever wondered what makes therapy actually work? Dr. Kaley Gerstley peels back the curtain on the therapeutic relationship that drives healing in our conversation on the Good Neighbor Podcast. With her doctorate from the University of Pennsylvania and over a decade in mental health, Dr. Gerstley brings both expertise and warmth to a profession that's rapidly evolving.
The pandemic transformed Dr. Gerstley's practice in unexpected ways. Though she once believed she'd work in-office her entire career, COVID pushed her practice online—and the results surprised everyone. Her clients' attendance improved dramatically without commuting barriers, and they unanimously chose to continue virtually when given the option to return in-person. This shift reflects broader changes in how we approach mental wellness in today's world.
At the heart of Dr. Gerstley's approach is what she calls the "relational framework"—the understanding that healing happens primarily through authentic connection. Unlike more formulaic therapeutic approaches, this relationship-centered method creates a space where clients can practice difficult conversations and experience healthy interactions that model what's possible in their everyday relationships. Dr. Gerstley works primarily with adults navigating life transitions, performers (particularly opera singers), and women dealing with body image concerns.
Perhaps most encouraging is how therapy has evolved from the Woody Allen analyst stereotype to something mainstream—where Olympic athletes openly discuss their mental health support before winning gold medals. This cultural shift has made therapy more accessible, though building meaningful community connections remains challenging in our increasingly isolated world. As Dr. Gerstley notes, helping clients build those vital connections has become a cornerstone of her work.
Ready to explore what therapy might look like for you? Visit talktherapywithkaylee.com to learn more about Dr. Gerstley's virtual practice serving New York and New Jersey residents.
Talk Therapy with Kaley
Dr. Kaley Gerstley
hello@talktherapywithkaley.com
(201) 514-6379
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place
where local businesses andneighbors come together.
Here's your host, Doug Drohan.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of
the Good Neighbor Podcastbrought to you by the Bergen
Neighbors Media Group.
Today we are going to talk sometherapy with Dr Kaley Gerstley.
Dr Kaley is a licensed clinicalsocial worker that's what the
LCSW you see after her namerepresents and she provides
virtual therapy to clients andwe'll dig into that in New York
(00:34):
and New Jersey.
She earned her master's degreefrom Tulane down in New Orleans,
and her doctorate back inPennsylvania, the University of
Pennsylvania.
So with over a decade ofexperience working in the mental
health field, I think it'sgreat that we can have this
discussion about what talktherapy is all about.
(00:55):
So, dr Caley, welcome to theshow.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Thank you, thanks for having me.
I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, so over a decade of experience working in
the mental health field.
How long has your practice beenin existence and where did you
work before that, like when yougraduated?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
So I have had a private practice since probably
around 2017, 2018.
Okay, but prior to that, well,I started my career a million
years ago in New Orleans.
Prior to that, well, I startedmy career a million years ago in
New Orleans and when I was ingrad school, I had an internship
(01:30):
in an adolescent psychiatrichospital, and that's really how
I got started in mental healthwork.
So I worked in an adolescentpsych hospital in New Orleans
and then, when I moved to NewYork, I worked at Bellevue
Hospital in Manhattan forseveral years on an acute
psychiatric unit so with folksexperiencing sort of the more
extreme end of mental healthstruggles and then, from there,
(01:53):
I switched to working in acommunity mental health clinic
at Henry Street Settlement House, also in the city, while
simultaneously starting mypractice and going for the
doctorate.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So have you always been virtual or did that come
out?
No?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
that started with COVID.
If you had asked me prior toCOVID I would have said I would
have been in office for the restof my life.
But COVID happened.
You know, being in the New Yorkcity area, nobody really wanted
to come in person, which isfair and totally understandable.
And then all my clients endedup really liking the virtual
(02:30):
therapy.
My no-show rate droppedsignificantly.
People stopped cancelingbecause of delayed trains or
weather and everybody startedcoming more consistently and
everybody loves it.
And then I asked my clients afew months into COVID if they
wanted to go back to in-personor if they wanted to stick with
virtual.
They said stick with thevirtual.
So I gave up my office and havebeen doing virtual since.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Wow, now do you find it?
I guess it's not more difficultto show like empathy and you
know, as you say, like you know,showing up with empathy and
authenticity.
You don't find that the Zoom,the computer, is a barrier to
that.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I think that it changes things for sure.
I wouldn't necessarily say thatit's a barrier to showing up or
to empathy.
I think it honestly levels theplaying field a little bit more
and because clients are now intheir space right, they're in a
place where they feelcomfortable, they're in control
of the temperature, they canmake sure they have their
favorite drink or their favoritesnack ready and they don't feel
(03:33):
like they're coming into myspace where I am the expert.
It's more of a conversationwhere we can just chat with one
another and I can help themrealize that they are the expert
in their own life and I'm justhere to help them achieve
whatever they want to.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Right Now you talked about the relational framework
approach, so what is thatexactly?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So a relational approach is pretty much just
acknowledging that the majorityof healing is going to come from
the relationship between thetherapist and the client.
It's saying that the work thatwe do here, the relationship
that we build, is what's goingto help you get to the point
that you want to be in your life, help you feel happier, help
you feel calmer.
I often talk about thetherapeutic relationship or your
(04:18):
relationship with yourtherapist as sort of a modeling
relationship.
It can help you practice how tohave hard conversations.
It can help you sort of be theintroduction to how to have a
healthy relationship withsomebody.
It's obviously a different typeof relationship than a
friendship or a romanticrelationship or a familial
(04:40):
relationship, but it can sort oflay the groundwork to help
people understand how we cancommunicate in relationships,
how we can show up for oneanother in relationships and use
it as a practice ground to thenbring into their everyday life.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
So is that different from traditional therapy when
somebody meets with a therapist,is that not?
I mean, is that not typicallyhow it works, where you go to
see a therapist and there's thisyou know back and forth and
kind of you know relationshipbetween the therapist being, you
(05:15):
know, helping, guiding you, andyou as the patient, you know
having to do some of the work, Iguess, on your own.
So how is it different fromwhat other therapy practices are
like, or traditional practices?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So it is based in traditional therapy.
Therapy practices are like ortraditional practices, so it is
based in traditional therapy,but there's all different kinds
of therapy.
So, for example, if you do EMDR, that's not to say that you
won't have a relationship withyour therapist.
I also have gone throughextensive EMDR training.
It's not to say that you won'thave a relationship with your
therapist, but it's moreformulaic.
You go, you've got somethingthat you're specifically
(05:49):
identified working on, sometrauma that you've specifically
identified working on, and thenthere's sort of a formula for
the therapy into how it'ssupposed to take place.
If you're doing CBT, you mightbe getting some homework, you
might be getting some charts,some things to fill out.
They all are relational innature.
Relationship is sort of a pieceof it, but for me it's sort of
the center of it and I'll bringin some of those other tools and
(06:10):
utilize CBT and utilize EMDR,but it's not the center of the
work that we do.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Right, and just to clarify, I mean CBT is cognitive
behavioral therapy.
Cogn.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Then, uh, you know the other, I know it's eye
movement emdr yeah, it standsfor eye movement,
desensitization and reprocessing, and it's a really phenomenal
way to treat trauma.
It's really great.
It's one of the new new not new, but newer forms of therapy
that people are really excitedabout, but it is different than
(06:46):
traditional talk therapy andthat you go in and it's you're
getting what's called bilateralstimulation.
So sometimes that's a lightthat's moving from one side of a
screen to the next, or it mightbe tapping on one side of your
body, the next or, in today'sday and age, a lot of people use
headphones and it'll play likea sound in one ear and then a
sound in the next ear, to haveyour brain working with both
(07:07):
sides of the brainsimultaneously as you're
processing the trauma thatyou're going through or that you
have gone through got it, butwith you, obviously the name of
your company is talk therapywith kaylee, so it's you're
focusing on on the talk side ofthings, not yeah yeah you talk
in the mdr and cbt too, but it'sless structured right, right,
(07:28):
right.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
So why did you become a therapist?
Like?
What was it that?
Um, you know, at what point inyour life did you, you know,
were you already in school andand took some classes, or was it
before you even went to collegethat you decided to go this
route?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
It was after school.
I probably should have known incollege.
I majored in college inanthropology, which is not
really much that you can do withthat outside of teaching in the
traditional sense, but majoredin anthropology and I remember a
meeting with my advisor in mysenior year telling me that I
needed another elective, but itcouldn't be a social work
(08:03):
elective because I had taken toomany of those.
So that probably should havebeen an indicator that I was
going to go into social work atone point in time or another,
but it didn't hit me until ayear or two later.
I was teaching in a preschool.
We had kids with all differentabilities in our class and there
was a social worker who came into work with one of my kids who
had some special needs and Iloved the work that she was
(08:26):
doing with him and really wasinspired and decided I wanted to
go back to school to work withkids who needed more support as
a social worker so I went tosocial work school with the
intention of working in earlychildhood and then have not
worked in early childhood a daysince.
(08:48):
So when I was there, you'rerequired in graduate school to
do a practicum, a fieldplacement where you sort of have
real work experience.
And I had wanted to do that inthe early childhood supports and
services, the Louisiana versionof early intervention, but that
entire program got shut downthe day before I was supposed to
(09:11):
start.
So the next best choice thatthey had for me where I would
still work with kids was in theadolescent psychiatric unit.
So I went to the adolescentpsychiatric unit at Children's
Hospital in New Orleans and Iloved it.
So I went to the adolescentpsychiatric unit at Children's
Hospital in New Orleans and Iloved it.
It was certainly not working inearly childhood, but it was
working with kids and it wasworking in mental health and I
(09:31):
loved it.
And then I came to New York andapplied to work at Bellevue in
the adolescent psychiatric unitand when I went for the
interview they said how do youfeel about working with adults?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And I said it's not something I ever thought I would
do, but I'm open to it and I'venever gone back to working with
kids, so you don't work withthe adolescents, I don't.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I do adults only now.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Okay, Okay.
So what is so?
How have things changed sinceyou started?
You know back, you know before2020, like, in terms of the
issues that your clients come toyou with, has it been pretty
much the same, or have thingschanged since COVID?
Or is it naturally thatstresses in lives changes as
(10:16):
society evolves?
Like, what have you seen in thelast 10 years?
Has there been a big change inwhat people come to you with
versus 2017?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
There's definitely a big change.
I think that therapy has becomemuch more mainstream, which is
really beautiful and somethingthat I love to see.
I think that one of themisconceptions people have about
therapy is it's really only forpeople who are mentally unwell
or sick or some of those sort ofnegative stereotypes that we
(10:48):
think about when we think abouttherapy.
And in the last 10 years it'severybody's talking about
therapy, right Like you can goto dinner and hear the table
next to you talking about theadvice that their therapist gave
them, about single women livingin New York City.
There's a million and one thingsthat you'll hear people talking
about therapy with, and that isa beautiful thing that I think
came about largely because ofthe pandemic and what we are all
(11:08):
sort of collectivelyexperiencing yeah, growing up
you know it was like woody allenhad an analyst.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I think they called them back then you know, some
sigmund freud kind of let me layon the couch kind of thing.
But I think you know woodyallen didn't give it a good
reputation because Woody Allen'smessed up.
That guy's got a lot ofhang-ups.
But I know he was one of thefirst in pop culture that would
openly talk about seeing hispsychiatrist.
(11:37):
I guess it was.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, and now we've gone from that to Simone Biles
at the Olympics, openlymeditating and talking about how
she had a session with hertherapist before winning gold
Right.
Like that sort of shift thatwe've made, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I think with athletes having a
sports coach, you know, mentalcoach is something that's a
little bit more mainstream.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, I don't think it's the same to athletes.
Yeah, absolutely yeah, I don'tthink it's great to athletes,
yeah, so getting so sorry,getting back to you know how
it's changed over the years andwhat people are dealing with, is
it?
You know?
I know I've spoken to a lot oftherapists that deal with teens
and COVID was really detrimentalin a lot of their you know
their psychic, psychicwell-beings when it came to, you
(12:23):
know, mental health and dealingwith COVID and being shut in
and shut out of school andthings like that.
But I know adults have to dealwith things as well, whether it
was having to manage the kidsthat are going through that or
just your own career.
And, like you were saying, youknow we're no longer commuting
and I think you know I had thebenefit of working in Manhattan
(12:44):
for 25 some odd years and andhad the great social network of
being able to go out after workand, and you know, play on
sports teams and things likethat, and I think that's really
missing in young adults and evenmaybe people my age that don't
do that anymore.
Do you see that as like anissue when it comes to people
(13:07):
dealing with anxiety or just anykind of mental health issues?
Is that something that theymiss or they don't even realize
that they miss?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Absolutely the community building which I think
is what you're really talkingabout Having a community, having
a network, having people thatyou see outside of your everyday
hustle.
Nine to five work life,managing the kids, managing
whatever responsibilities youmight have.
That ability to build a network, a community of people that you
(13:36):
can rely on, that can mutuallysupport each other, is
absolutely influencing the waythat people are experiencing
life and the anxiety levels.
A big part of what I do with myclients is work on community
building working on getting themconnected to resources,
connected to people in theirlives that maybe they've grown
more distant from or haven'tbeen as connected to.
(13:56):
But absolutely, isolation is ahuge thing that I talk about
with my clients.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, I think one of the great benefits of being in
Manhattan and New York City whenyou work and I worked in the
media industry, so I was in themusic industry and then TV, but
any industry, the diversity ofpeople, the diversity of thought
, the diversity of backgrounds,really, you know, helps you in
being more tolerant andunderstanding other points of
(14:21):
view.
And I think now it's so easy tobe siloed, to just be fed the
same information over and overagain, and you know I could see
how that that could lead to alot of anxiety, because who
wants to turn on the news,depending on what side you're on
?
You know it's.
It's just you're not gettingthat.
Um, as you said, communitythought of seeing things from a
different perspective and say,okay, I understand that, I can
(14:43):
be empathetic to that.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Yeah, we're losing a lot of the nuance.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Which is a lot of what we talk about in therapy,
right, the differences, thenuance, sort of the gray and not
so much the black and white.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Right, right.
So what are their specific?
Like I notice, you know there'ssome therapy practices.
They'll go through a list ofservices.
You know we do X, y and Z, butyou don't do that, right, you're
basic.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
It's me and somebody else.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I do one-on-one individual therapy with adults,
virtually.
I work with strangely enough, Iwork with a lot of performers.
I have a lot of opera singerson my caseload specifically and
I work with a lot of peoplegoing through life transitions.
So divorces, breakups, new job,new school, new kids, you know
(15:40):
any sort of thing that mightmake a big change.
During COVID I worked with alot of people who are
transitioning out of New YorkCity and the big flux of folks
moving to Bergen County, so alot of life transitions.
I do a lot of work with womenstruggling with body image.
That's a big part of what I donow.
Okay and yeah, but it's, it'sjust me and whatever you want to
(16:06):
bring to me right.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
And then I notice, um well, how would people contact
you?
And they can reach you if theywant to just have a, a
consultation, just to kind offeel things out like how does it
work?
Speaker 3 (16:17):
um, they can shoot me an email through my website.
It's uh, talk therapy withkayleecom, so it's pretty
straightforward.
Go to the website, all mycontact information is there.
They can email me directlythrough the website and it's
just me, so I'll be respondingto them directly.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Got it, got it.
So one of the things I askpeople of all different um walks
of life who come on the show orbusiness owners is what is it
like being a business owner?
Because obviously you went toschool, um, you know you studied
to be a licensed clinicalsocial worker.
No one taught you to be anaccountant or marketer or
business manager.
So what has that been likerunning your own business?
(16:56):
And you know people describedas a roller coaster.
They described you know the upsand downs, but then inevitably
say I can never go back toworking for someone else,
regardless of the challenges andmaybe the tough days, because
you know, let's be honest, wehave tough days whether we work
for ourselves or work forsomeone else.
So what has the experience beenlike for you?
Speaker 3 (17:19):
I will say that being a therapist has never been
challenging, but being abusiness owner has been
continuously challenging.
I did not go to school formarketing.
I did not go to school to runmy own business.
I went to school to become atherapist.
So the business side of thingshas been a very, a pretty steep
learning curve just figuring outmarketing, figuring out how to
(17:41):
get people through the door.
I know that once they're in thedoor I can do great work with
them.
It's just getting them to see myface and know that I'm out
there.
But the business side of thingsis the hardest part.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, one of thereasons we have this show is for
people to find out who you are,you know, to understand the you
behind the name.
You know, when I was at Viacom,we had a.
We were big on branding, right,everything was about brands
(18:14):
SpongeBob or Nickelodeon or Dorathe Explorer, south Park and
things like that.
But when it came to personaldevelopment, we had a, I guess
like a class it was a number ofover a period of months called
Brand U, y-o-u, and it was aboutbuilding your own personal
brand, because a lot of us don'tunderstand that when you work
for a big corporation, you stillhave to sell yourself if you
want to move up the corporateladder.
And a lot of us were not goodat it.
(18:35):
And it was understanding whatmy brand is and how do people
see me, how do I walk into theroom.
And the purpose of this podcastis for people to understand the
you, the person behind the name.
Uh, because you know, I think,if they really can connect with
you that way, like we're talkingabout community, I think it
makes a difference.
So I'm, uh, you know, glad tohelp in that way and I hope, um,
(19:00):
you know, I, I think it's, it'sunder you know, understanding
where you came from and why youdo.
What you do is a lot more.
It's a lot deeper than justlooking on ZocDocs or something
and trying to choose somebodyjust because of their proximity
or oh, you're virtual, okay, whyyou over someone else?
And I really appreciate yousharing all this with us.
(19:20):
Let's go back to your websiteagain how would people contact
you?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
You can just go straight to my website and go on
the talk.
Go on the contact form.
It is talk therapy withKayleecom.
Kaley is spelled K A L E Y, sotalk therapy with Kayleecom and
you can reach out directly to me.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
That's great.
Well, kaley, thank you so muchfor joining the show today.
Chuck is just going to say afew parting words and you and I
will be right back.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor
Podcast.
To nominate your favorite localbusinesses to be featured on
the show, go to gnpbergen.
com.
That's gnpbergen.
com, no-transcript.
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place
where local businesses andneighbors come together.
Here's your host, Doug Drohan.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of
the Good Neighbor Podcastbrought to you by the Bergen
Neighbors Media Group.
Today we are going to talk sometherapy with Dr Kaley Gerstley.
Dr Kaley is a licensed clinicalsocial worker that's what the
LCSW you see after her namerepresents and she provides
virtual therapy to clients andwe'll dig into that in New York
(00:34):
and New Jersey.
She earned her master's degreefrom Tulane down in New Orleans,
and her doctorate back inPennsylvania, the University of
Pennsylvania.
So with over a decade ofexperience working in the mental
health field, I think it'sgreat that we can have this
discussion about what talktherapy is all about.
(00:55):
So, dr Caley, welcome to theshow.
Speaker 3 (00:57):
Thank you, thanks for having me.
I'm happy to be here.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
Yeah, so over a decade of experience working in
the mental health field.
How long has your practice beenin existence and where did you
work before that, like when yougraduated?
Speaker 3 (01:10):
So I have had a private practice since probably
around 2017, 2018.
Okay, but prior to that, well,I started my career a million
years ago in New Orleans.
Prior to that, well, I startedmy career a million years ago in
New Orleans and when I was ingrad school, I had an internship
(01:30):
in an adolescent psychiatrichospital, and that's really how
I got started in mental healthwork.
So I worked in an adolescentpsych hospital in New Orleans
and then, when I moved to NewYork, I worked at Bellevue
Hospital in Manhattan forseveral years on an acute
psychiatric unit so with folksexperiencing sort of the more
extreme end of mental healthstruggles and then, from there,
(01:53):
I switched to working in acommunity mental health clinic
at Henry Street Settlement House, also in the city, while
simultaneously starting mypractice and going for the
doctorate.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
So have you always been virtual or did that come
out?
No?
Speaker 3 (02:09):
that started with COVID.
If you had asked me prior toCOVID I would have said I would
have been in office for the restof my life.
But COVID happened.
You know, being in the New Yorkcity area, nobody really wanted
to come in person, which isfair and totally understandable.
And then all my clients endedup really liking the virtual
(02:30):
therapy.
My no-show rate droppedsignificantly.
People stopped cancelingbecause of delayed trains or
weather and everybody startedcoming more consistently and
everybody loves it.
And then I asked my clients afew months into COVID if they
wanted to go back to in-personor if they wanted to stick with
virtual.
They said stick with thevirtual.
So I gave up my office and havebeen doing virtual since.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Wow, now do you find it?
I guess it's not more difficultto show like empathy and you
know, as you say, like you know,showing up with empathy and
authenticity.
You don't find that the Zoom,the computer, is a barrier to
that.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
I think that it changes things for sure.
I wouldn't necessarily say thatit's a barrier to showing up or
to empathy.
I think it honestly levels theplaying field a little bit more
and because clients are now intheir space right, they're in a
place where they feelcomfortable, they're in control
of the temperature, they canmake sure they have their
favorite drink or their favoritesnack ready and they don't feel
(03:33):
like they're coming into myspace where I am the expert.
It's more of a conversationwhere we can just chat with one
another and I can help themrealize that they are the expert
in their own life and I'm justhere to help them achieve
whatever they want to.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Right Now you talked about the relational framework
approach, so what is thatexactly?
Speaker 3 (03:57):
So a relational approach is pretty much just
acknowledging that the majorityof healing is going to come from
the relationship between thetherapist and the client.
It's saying that the work thatwe do here, the relationship
that we build, is what's goingto help you get to the point
that you want to be in your life, help you feel happier, help
you feel calmer.
I often talk about thetherapeutic relationship or your
(04:18):
relationship with yourtherapist as sort of a modeling
relationship.
It can help you practice how tohave hard conversations.
It can help you sort of be theintroduction to how to have a
healthy relationship withsomebody.
It's obviously a different typeof relationship than a
friendship or a romanticrelationship or a familial
(04:40):
relationship, but it can sort oflay the groundwork to help
people understand how we cancommunicate in relationships,
how we can show up for oneanother in relationships and use
it as a practice ground to thenbring into their everyday life.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
So is that different from traditional therapy when
somebody meets with a therapist,is that not?
I mean, is that not typicallyhow it works, where you go to
see a therapist and there's thisyou know back and forth and
kind of you know relationshipbetween the therapist being, you
(05:15):
know, helping, guiding you, andyou as the patient, you know
having to do some of the work, Iguess, on your own.
So how is it different fromwhat other therapy practices are
like, or traditional practices?
Speaker 3 (05:25):
So it is based in traditional therapy.
Therapy practices are like ortraditional practices, so it is
based in traditional therapy,but there's all different kinds
of therapy.
So, for example, if you do EMDR, that's not to say that you
won't have a relationship withyour therapist.
I also have gone throughextensive EMDR training.
It's not to say that you won'thave a relationship with your
therapist, but it's moreformulaic.
You go, you've got somethingthat you're specifically
(05:49):
identified working on, sometrauma that you've specifically
identified working on, and thenthere's sort of a formula for
the therapy into how it'ssupposed to take place.
If you're doing CBT, you mightbe getting some homework, you
might be getting some charts,some things to fill out.
They all are relational innature.
Relationship is sort of a pieceof it, but for me it's sort of
the center of it and I'll bringin some of those other tools and
(06:10):
utilize CBT and utilize EMDR,but it's not the center of the
work that we do.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Right, and just to clarify, I mean CBT is cognitive
behavioral therapy.
Cogn.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Then, uh, you know the other, I know it's eye
movement emdr yeah, it standsfor eye movement,
desensitization and reprocessing, and it's a really phenomenal
way to treat trauma.
It's really great.
It's one of the new new not new, but newer forms of therapy
that people are really excitedabout, but it is different than
(06:46):
traditional talk therapy andthat you go in and it's you're
getting what's called bilateralstimulation.
So sometimes that's a lightthat's moving from one side of a
screen to the next, or it mightbe tapping on one side of your
body, the next or, in today'sday and age, a lot of people use
headphones and it'll play likea sound in one ear and then a
sound in the next ear, to haveyour brain working with both
(07:07):
sides of the brainsimultaneously as you're
processing the trauma thatyou're going through or that you
have gone through got it, butwith you, obviously the name of
your company is talk therapywith kaylee, so it's you're
focusing on on the talk side ofthings, not yeah yeah you talk
in the mdr and cbt too, but it'sless structured right, right,
(07:28):
right.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
So why did you become a therapist?
Like?
What was it that?
Um, you know, at what point inyour life did you, you know,
were you already in school andand took some classes, or was it
before you even went to collegethat you decided to go this
route?
Speaker 3 (07:42):
It was after school.
I probably should have known incollege.
I majored in college inanthropology, which is not
really much that you can do withthat outside of teaching in the
traditional sense, but majoredin anthropology and I remember a
meeting with my advisor in mysenior year telling me that I
needed another elective, but itcouldn't be a social work
(08:03):
elective because I had taken toomany of those.
So that probably should havebeen an indicator that I was
going to go into social work atone point in time or another,
but it didn't hit me until ayear or two later.
I was teaching in a preschool.
We had kids with all differentabilities in our class and there
was a social worker who came into work with one of my kids who
had some special needs and Iloved the work that she was
(08:26):
doing with him and really wasinspired and decided I wanted to
go back to school to work withkids who needed more support as
a social worker so I went tosocial work school with the
intention of working in earlychildhood and then have not
worked in early childhood a daysince.
(08:48):
So when I was there, you'rerequired in graduate school to
do a practicum, a fieldplacement where you sort of have
real work experience.
And I had wanted to do that inthe early childhood supports and
services, the Louisiana versionof early intervention, but that
entire program got shut downthe day before I was supposed to
(09:11):
start.
So the next best choice thatthey had for me where I would
still work with kids was in theadolescent psychiatric unit.
So I went to the adolescentpsychiatric unit at Children's
Hospital in New Orleans and Iloved it.
So I went to the adolescentpsychiatric unit at Children's
Hospital in New Orleans and Iloved it.
It was certainly not working inearly childhood, but it was
working with kids and it wasworking in mental health and I
(09:31):
loved it.
And then I came to New York andapplied to work at Bellevue in
the adolescent psychiatric unitand when I went for the
interview they said how do youfeel about working with adults?
Speaker 2 (09:47):
And I said it's not something I ever thought I would
do, but I'm open to it and I'venever gone back to working with
kids, so you don't work withthe adolescents, I don't.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I do adults only now.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Okay, Okay.
So what is so?
How have things changed sinceyou started?
You know back, you know before2020, like, in terms of the
issues that your clients come toyou with, has it been pretty
much the same, or have thingschanged since COVID?
Or is it naturally thatstresses in lives changes as
(10:16):
society evolves?
Like, what have you seen in thelast 10 years?
Has there been a big change inwhat people come to you with
versus 2017?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
There's definitely a big change.
I think that therapy has becomemuch more mainstream, which is
really beautiful and somethingthat I love to see.
I think that one of themisconceptions people have about
therapy is it's really only forpeople who are mentally unwell
or sick or some of those sort ofnegative stereotypes that we
(10:48):
think about when we think abouttherapy.
And in the last 10 years it'severybody's talking about
therapy, right Like you can goto dinner and hear the table
next to you talking about theadvice that their therapist gave
them, about single women livingin New York City.
There's a million and one thingsthat you'll hear people talking
about therapy with, and that isa beautiful thing that I think
came about largely because ofthe pandemic and what we are all
(11:08):
sort of collectivelyexperiencing yeah, growing up
you know it was like woody allenhad an analyst.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I think they called them back then you know, some
sigmund freud kind of let me layon the couch kind of thing.
But I think you know woodyallen didn't give it a good
reputation because Woody Allen'smessed up.
That guy's got a lot ofhang-ups.
But I know he was one of thefirst in pop culture that would
openly talk about seeing hispsychiatrist.
(11:37):
I guess it was.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, and now we've gone from that to Simone Biles
at the Olympics, openlymeditating and talking about how
she had a session with hertherapist before winning gold
Right.
Like that sort of shift thatwe've made, which is awesome.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, yeah, I mean I think with athletes having a
sports coach, you know, mentalcoach is something that's a
little bit more mainstream.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Yeah, I don't think it's the same to athletes.
Yeah, absolutely yeah, I don'tthink it's great to athletes,
yeah, so getting so sorry,getting back to you know how
it's changed over the years andwhat people are dealing with, is
it?
You know?
I know I've spoken to a lot oftherapists that deal with teens
and COVID was really detrimentalin a lot of their you know
their psychic, psychicwell-beings when it came to, you
(12:23):
know, mental health and dealingwith COVID and being shut in
and shut out of school andthings like that.
But I know adults have to dealwith things as well, whether it
was having to manage the kidsthat are going through that or
just your own career.
And, like you were saying, youknow we're no longer commuting
and I think you know I had thebenefit of working in Manhattan
(12:44):
for 25 some odd years and andhad the great social network of
being able to go out after workand, and you know, play on
sports teams and things likethat, and I think that's really
missing in young adults and evenmaybe people my age that don't
do that anymore.
Do you see that as like anissue when it comes to people
(13:07):
dealing with anxiety or just anykind of mental health issues?
Is that something that theymiss or they don't even realize
that they miss?
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Absolutely the community building which I think
is what you're really talkingabout Having a community, having
a network, having people thatyou see outside of your everyday
hustle.
Nine to five work life,managing the kids, managing
whatever responsibilities youmight have.
That ability to build a network, a community of people that you
(13:36):
can rely on, that can mutuallysupport each other, is
absolutely influencing the waythat people are experiencing
life and the anxiety levels.
A big part of what I do with myclients is work on community
building working on getting themconnected to resources,
connected to people in theirlives that maybe they've grown
more distant from or haven'tbeen as connected to.
(13:56):
But absolutely, isolation is ahuge thing that I talk about
with my clients.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, I think one of the great benefits of being in
Manhattan and New York City whenyou work and I worked in the
media industry, so I was in themusic industry and then TV, but
any industry, the diversity ofpeople, the diversity of thought
, the diversity of backgrounds,really, you know, helps you in
being more tolerant andunderstanding other points of
(14:21):
view.
And I think now it's so easy tobe siloed, to just be fed the
same information over and overagain, and you know I could see
how that that could lead to alot of anxiety, because who
wants to turn on the news,depending on what side you're on
?
You know it's.
It's just you're not gettingthat.
Um, as you said, communitythought of seeing things from a
different perspective and say,okay, I understand that, I can
(14:43):
be empathetic to that.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
Yeah, we're losing a lot of the nuance.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Which is a lot of what we talk about in therapy,
right, the differences, thenuance, sort of the gray and not
so much the black and white.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Right, right.
So what are their specific?
Like I notice, you know there'ssome therapy practices.
They'll go through a list ofservices.
You know we do X, y and Z, butyou don't do that, right, you're
basic.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
It's me and somebody else.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
Right.
Speaker 3 (15:13):
I do one-on-one individual therapy with adults,
virtually.
I work with strangely enough, Iwork with a lot of performers.
I have a lot of opera singerson my caseload specifically and
I work with a lot of peoplegoing through life transitions.
So divorces, breakups, new job,new school, new kids, you know
(15:40):
any sort of thing that mightmake a big change.
During COVID I worked with alot of people who are
transitioning out of New YorkCity and the big flux of folks
moving to Bergen County, so alot of life transitions.
I do a lot of work with womenstruggling with body image.
That's a big part of what I donow.
Okay and yeah, but it's, it'sjust me and whatever you want to
(16:06):
bring to me right.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
And then I notice, um well, how would people contact
you?
And they can reach you if theywant to just have a, a
consultation, just to kind offeel things out like how does it
work?
Speaker 3 (16:17):
um, they can shoot me an email through my website.
It's uh, talk therapy withkayleecom, so it's pretty
straightforward.
Go to the website, all mycontact information is there.
They can email me directlythrough the website and it's
just me, so I'll be respondingto them directly.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Got it, got it.
So one of the things I askpeople of all different um walks
of life who come on the show orbusiness owners is what is it
like being a business owner?
Because obviously you went toschool, um, you know you studied
to be a licensed clinicalsocial worker.
No one taught you to be anaccountant or marketer or
business manager.
So what has that been likerunning your own business?
(16:56):
And you know people describedas a roller coaster.
They described you know the upsand downs, but then inevitably
say I can never go back toworking for someone else,
regardless of the challenges andmaybe the tough days, because
you know, let's be honest, wehave tough days whether we work
for ourselves or work forsomeone else.
So what has the experience beenlike for you?
Speaker 3 (17:19):
I will say that being a therapist has never been
challenging, but being abusiness owner has been
continuously challenging.
I did not go to school formarketing.
I did not go to school to runmy own business.
I went to school to become atherapist.
So the business side of thingshas been a very, a pretty steep
learning curve just figuring outmarketing, figuring out how to
(17:41):
get people through the door.
I know that once they're in thedoor I can do great work with
them.
It's just getting them to see myface and know that I'm out
there.
But the business side of thingsis the hardest part.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean, one of thereasons we have this show is for
people to find out who you are,you know, to understand the you
behind the name.
You know, when I was at Viacom,we had a.
We were big on branding, right,everything was about brands
(18:14):
SpongeBob or Nickelodeon or Dorathe Explorer, south Park and
things like that.
But when it came to personaldevelopment, we had a, I guess
like a class it was a number ofover a period of months called
Brand U, y-o-u, and it was aboutbuilding your own personal
brand, because a lot of us don'tunderstand that when you work
for a big corporation, you stillhave to sell yourself if you
want to move up the corporateladder.
And a lot of us were not goodat it.
(18:35):
And it was understanding whatmy brand is and how do people
see me, how do I walk into theroom.
And the purpose of this podcastis for people to understand the
you, the person behind the name.
Uh, because you know, I think,if they really can connect with
you that way, like we're talkingabout community, I think it
makes a difference.
So I'm, uh, you know, glad tohelp in that way and I hope, um,
(19:00):
you know, I, I think it's, it'sunder you know, understanding
where you came from and why youdo.
What you do is a lot more.
It's a lot deeper than justlooking on ZocDocs or something
and trying to choose somebodyjust because of their proximity
or oh, you're virtual, okay, whyyou over someone else?
And I really appreciate yousharing all this with us.
(19:20):
Let's go back to your websiteagain how would people contact
you?
Speaker 3 (19:26):
You can just go straight to my website and go on
the talk.
Go on the contact form.
It is talk therapy withKayleecom.
Kaley is spelled K A L E Y, sotalk therapy with Kayleecom and
you can reach out directly to me.
Speaker 2 (19:45):
That's great.
Well, kaley, thank you so muchfor joining the show today.
Chuck is just going to say afew parting words and you and I
will be right back.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor
Podcast.
To nominate your favorite localbusinesses to be featured on
the show, go to gnpbergen.
com.
That's gnpbergen.
com, no-transcript.
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