Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Good
Neighbor Podcast, the place
where local businesses andneighbors come together.
Here's your host, GarfieldBowen.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Welcome to the Good
Neighbor Podcast.
Are you in need of a marriagecoach?
Well, one may be closer thanyou think.
Today, I have the pleasure ofintroducing you to a husband and
wife team, greg and JulieGorman, with Married for a
Purpose.
Greg and Julie, how are youdoing?
Speaker 3 (00:31):
today.
Outstanding sir, Thanks forhaving us.
Good to be here.
Speaker 4 (00:35):
Great to meet you,
Garfield.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
We're excited to
learn all about you and your
business.
Tell us about your company.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah well, we are a
marriage coaching organization.
We have lots and lots ofdifferent resources that we
offer, but really two mainprimary arms of our organization
.
One is designed specifically toserve marriages that are
hurting or the marriages thatare looking to go from good to
great, and then the other reallyis training and equipping other
(01:02):
coaches or other people thatwant to serve marriages by using
our, our process.
That's very duplicatable.
That produces a verypredictable outcome.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
So I know everyone
wants to know the funny.
You know your husband and wifeteam, I assume.
Is that correct?
Yes, we are, we have been.
How did you get into thisbusiness?
You had a lot of practice.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
You know, what I'll
tell you.
Garfield, we were a bloomingmess.
We were two people who lovedone another passionately, but we
fought just as passionately.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
We did, didn't we
yeah?
Speaker 4 (01:37):
So we kind of
stumbled into.
I don't think either one of usset out to be marriage gurus of
any sort, but throughout ourlifespan what we really
discovered is we had a naturalwell, a love for one another.
We fought really hard to havewhat we have and today it's a
beautiful, beautifulrelationship that I don't think
(01:58):
you could have a better.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Yeah, I think we
struggled really really
difficult, garfield, in theearly days and, honestly, our
marriage almost didn't make it.
But we were both willing togrow, we both loved each other
and we were wanting to learn howto become better people and
better spouses.
And so, you know, we had to eata lot of humble pie along the
line and grow together, but aswe did, you know, we learned a
(02:20):
lot of things along the way andthen we started working with
other couples, really just a fewyears into our marriage.
We've been working with couplesnow for about two and a half
decades and, um, you know whatreally caused us to begin to do
what we do today is we.
We felt like our approach was somuch different than what other
(02:44):
marriage organizations and othermarriage coaches and
conferences and so on and soforth do.
And we're not trying to saythat everybody else is doing it
wrong, we're just saying thatwhat we do is very different in
approach.
Yeah, and so, as we begin tosee our own marriage heal and we
had a lot of people asking usto help us with theirs then it
kind of just began to take onits own personality and the more
(03:06):
we spoke on it, the more weworked with other coaches or,
excuse me, other marriages.
They really liked the approachand what we did to heal our
marriage.
It was helping heal theirmarriage.
And one thing is just built ontop of another, and so here we
are today.
Speaker 2 (03:20):
I hear the.
With love, the passion swingsboth ways.
Let me ask you a question whatare some of the myths and
misconceptions of the industry?
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Well, I think, I
think, at its core in in
marriage, the approachtraditionally is very, very
problem focused.
A couple has an issue, theyhave a problem, they're getting
at each other and they'restruggling with it.
And so if and that's usually abig if but if they get up enough
courage to reach out to try toget some help, then usually the
(03:53):
other person on the side of thetable wants to talk to them
about all of the issues and allof the problems.
And you know, we're going totalk about the issues and the
problem.
We're just going to do it froma completely different angle.
That's very, very forwardmoving, because the past is the
past.
We can't do anything about it.
We need to sweep up the glasson the floor before we start
trying to traipse across it.
But we really need to begin tofocus on what it is that we do
(04:15):
want and that really is, youknow, probably best voiced, I
suppose, in this way, I'll justsay it this way uh, voiced, I
suppose in this way, I'll justsay it this way Um, all thought
leaders throughout time havethey disagreed on a whole bunch
of things.
They've gone to war on some ofthe things.
They disagreed on, um, umthroughout time.
But but they've all agreed onone central theme.
(04:36):
Uh, it doesn't matter ifthey're Baptist or Buddhist or
anywhere in between.
They've all agreed on this onecentral concept, yeah, and that
is that we become what we thinkabout.
King Solomon said as we think inour hearts, so we become.
And so it's been said lots ofdifferent ways.
We like to say you gravitatetowards what you contemplate,
(04:59):
you know where your energy goes,you know your, your, your, your
, your.
Everything flows right whereyou're getting tongue-tied, but
at the end of the day, it's thesame thing.
And you know, we find whatwe're looking for and what you
feed grows, and what you starvedies.
We understand these things inthe physical sense, but
sometimes, when it comes intothe own things that we're
dealing with in our life, weforget.
(05:20):
And so when we begin to talkabout the problem, what we're
doing is we're what you feedgrows, what you starve dies.
You become what you think aboutthe more we talk about it.
Even though we're well-intended, we're feeding the wrong dog.
What we found is that when Julieand I come together, if we have
a disagreement or an issue or aproblem, then the first thing
that we need to do is we need tounderstand that it is a problem
and neither one of us want it.
That's the first place ofagreement.
(05:42):
The only way to build anythingis to build it on common ground.
And so when we build thatbridge of common ground that now
allows us to ask a differentquestion, instead of going back
and analyzing the problem andgiven all of that our energy, we
say, ok, this is a problem,this is what we don't want, what
do we want?
And we stay in that questionuntil the two of us can come
(06:03):
into agreement on what it isthat we want.
Now we're in unity.
One puts a thousand to flighttwo, ten thousand.
So there's a lot to be gainedwhen we're unified.
And so, as we do that and weteach couples on how to
communicate effectively, how tohave better intimacy, you know
how to actually have these kindof conversations where their
conflict is productive ratherthan destructive.
(06:26):
And I know that's a bit of along answer, but it's the answer
to your question.
You know, what is it thatpeople believe?
They believe that they have tostay focused on the problem.
They got to fix the problem.
The truth is, is that what youfeed grows and what you starve,
dies and we become what we thinkabout.
So what we need to do is weneed to acknowledge the problem,
and then we need to focusforward on what it is that we
(06:46):
really want, and then all of ourenergy is in moving forward
instead of constantly lookingback.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
You know we read a
lot of these books and it all
sounds good on paper, but whenyou try to do it you wish you
could just take a pill and justlet me ask you the next question
in terms of your targetaudience, I guess, is people who
are looking to get married,people are married or people
want to, you know, rekindle arelationship.
(07:15):
Who's your target audience andhow do you attract them?
Speaker 4 (07:19):
Yeah, I think our
target audience is anybody who
wants more, who wants greaterunity, who wants to build
together towards a common vision, together.
So they, I think our targetmarket would be people who,
whether they're in deep crisesor they're a good to great, what
they're really looking for isunity, peace.
They long to be heard,understood, validated, and they
(07:42):
want to be able to do that fortheir spouse and have their
spouse do that for them.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
Yeah, I think in the
reality, you know, and I
appreciate your comment and it'sone of the things that actually
we're a bit tyrannical about.
We're not teaching theories andin today's world you know,
you're right, there's a bunch ofstuff.
They sound good on paper, right, and if you've got a pretty
good rap and a good theory, youcan probably sell it on the
internet and make some money.
That's not what we're about.
We're about making a differenceand we're tyrannical about
(08:08):
teaching from real life lessonsthat have been battle tested for
over two and a half decades andour process has a 99.7% success
rate with over a thousandcouples so far.
So again, it's battle tested.
It actually works in the realworld, and if it doesn't, what's
the point?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
Right, I think,
garfield too.
One of the things that's reallydifferent is we're not just
trying to teach people what tothink.
We actually teach them how tothink for a better result.
So often what happens is, whensomebody does want help, they
come to get that help and thenwe try to fix it.
Source the issue, find outwhose fault the issue is.
(08:45):
As Greg said, we deal with theissue, but actually we deal with
it from a place of here's,where we want to be.
This is what our desiredoutcome.
Now, we may have no clue how toget those things, but what we
do throughout our two-day rebootprocess is we really help
couples begin to find the commonground, build on unity, fight
for unity above all else andhere's the key we're not telling
(09:08):
them what they should want.
Together, they're agreeing withwhat they want, and so the
difference is is now they knowwhat they're fighting for, and
it's not my opinion, it's notGreg's opinion, it's not their
spouse's opinion.
It's the unified vision thatboth of them want.
And so now we're leveraginghuman behavior to actually fight
for the things that you want,and if we really want something,
(09:28):
we'll fight for it.
Yep.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Okay, we want to know
a little bit more about you two
, Greg and Julie, when you'renot so busy running your
business.
What do you like to do for fun?
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Man, we like anything
that has to do with water.
You know we really do.
That's our primary.
We like doing very simplethings.
Actually we love just takingwalks around the neighborhood,
especially this time of year inSouth Florida.
It's been nice we're cominginto some of that warmer weather
where it'll be a little bitmore difficult.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
Except for those
no-see-ums.
I still don't like those, youknow.
But no, we love to swim, welove to go boating, we love to
walk by the ocean, simple walksat night and cooking some
favorite foods, like we'refoodies.
We're a little bit of foodies,yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Well, a lot of um.
Our listeners I, I guess, islooking for uh love, but we're
running out of time.
But I want you to leave ourlisteners with one thing, one
thing they should remember aboutmary for a purpose when you
can't change the way you feel.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
You got to change the
way you feel.
You got to change the way youthink.
And the only way that you canbuild on anything is by building
on common ground.
And what Married for a Purposedoes is we take some of the most
difficult situations.
We help you to be able to findunity, not in a way that you
have to just drudge through life, but actually it's very
life-giving, it's full of life,it's full of vision and
(10:56):
inspiration and we have a lot offun, and our couples again.
99.7% success rate isn't toobad.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Listeners are
listening and they have one
question on their mind now, andthat's how?
How can we get more informationon Married for a?
Speaker 3 (11:11):
Purpose.
Yeah, I would say there's acouple of different ways.
We're on just about everysocial channel as Married for a
Purpose, but the easiest waywould just be to go to our
website at marriedforapurposecomand schedule an appointment, or
browse through any of the freecontent that is there, or look
at any of the information that'soffered, either in becoming a
(11:33):
coach so you can facilitate aprocess like this, or if your
marriage is in need of help forcrying out loud, jump in there
and make an appointment.
Let's see if we can get youwith one of our coaches.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
We'd love to give a
free gift.
So if you type the word igniteto 772-291-1136, again
772-291-1136, just type the wordignite and we'll send you all
kinds of fun free conversationstarters.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Yeah, greg and Julie,
we really appreciate you having
on the show.
I wish you and your businessthe very best moving forward.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
Thank you so much.
We appreciate your time, buddy.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
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