Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya brings relationship healing to couples.

When was the last time you thought about the health of your relationship? In this revealing conversation with Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, founder of the Center for Psychological and Interpersonal Development, we explore the often misunderstood world of couples therapy and relationship healing.

Dr. Simakhodskaya shares her remarkable journey from Ukrainian immigrant to renowned clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sex therapist. With warmth and wisdom, she dismantles the common misconceptions that keep couples from seeking help—particularly the fear that therapists will assign blame or automatically recommend separation. "Couples wait an average of seven years from the beginning of problems to come for help," she reveals, explaining how this delay makes healing significantly more challenging.

What makes this conversation particularly fascinating is Dr. Simakhodskaya's unique perspective on relationships, informed by her surprising passion for Argentinian tango. She draws compelling parallels between this improvisational dance—which requires presence, connection, and mutual listening—and the dynamics of healthy relationships. This metaphor offers listeners a fresh way to understand what makes partnerships thrive.

For those curious about relationship support beyond traditional therapy, Dr. Simakhodskaya highlights her upcoming workshop, "Hold Me Tight, Hold Me Just Right," focused on physical, sexual, and emotional intimacy. This alternative approach demonstrates her commitment to making relationship healing accessible through multiple pathways.

Whether you're currently navigating relationship challenges or simply want to strengthen your connection, Dr. Simakhodskayaa's insights offer valuable guidance for anyone seeking deeper, more fulfilling relationships. Visit cpidnyc.com to learn more about the Center for Psychological and Interpersonal Development and their innovative approaches to relationship healing.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place
where local businesses andneighbors come together.
Here's your host, GarfieldBowen.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Welcome to the Good Neighbor Podcast Live.
Today I have a treat for you.
I have Dr Zoya Simhaskaya withthe Center of Psychological and
Interpersonal Development.
Zoya, how are you doing today?

Speaker 3 (00:37):
I'm doing great.
It's a beautiful day in NewYork City and I'm here with you.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Listen, I heard the horns beeping out there.

Speaker 3 (00:47):
Yes, they are.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
We're excited to learn all about you and your
business.
Tell us a little bit about yourbusiness and what you do there.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
I am a clinical psychologist and a couples
therapist and a sex therapistand my center provides a lot of
marital relationship, couples,family therapy and some
individual therapy as well forrelationships that are, you know
, struggling with connection anddisconnection and communication

(01:21):
and cetera, as many of us canrelate to, and we also do some
workshops for couples.
That's another thing that we do, that we're very excited about,
and I can tell you more.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
I guess in the early stage it could be a lot of fun
for couples in the early stage.
So how did you get into thisbusiness?

Speaker 3 (01:44):
So, how did you get into this business?
Well, you know, some of us areborn with a calling, so I think
I was the lucky one.
I am an immigrant.
I came from Ukraine, from theformer Soviet Union, and I
didn't think that I would beable to kind of be a healer
emotional healer but once Iimmigratedrated, the dream came

(02:05):
true and I always loved helpingpeople families, relationships,
groups, to to find a way back toeach other, to yourself, to
each other.
And then in 2011, I started thecenter where I'm also train

(02:27):
other therapists and I do sometrainings national,
international.
It's another passion of mine,but in the center, I sort of
proud to say that we providecannot give high quality support
and help.
That is not always easy to get.

(02:47):
People have a lot ofmisconceptions about therapy.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Since you brought it up, what are some of the
misconceptions in your arena?

Speaker 3 (03:01):
Yeah, I think especially around relationship
therapy people are scared.
They think if you say we have aproblem and you come to the
therapist's office, thetherapist is going to say, yes,
your problem is so big, you'vegot to break it up, or they will
be blamed and somebody will betold I'm a judge, like sort of
like they think I'll be a judgeand say, hey, it's your fault,

(03:24):
no, it's your fault, and um, andthat can be really scary.
And you don't, you don't knowwhat exactly is going to happen.
And so there's, I think, someresearch out there.
Uh, people, couples wait anaverage of seven years from the
beginning of problems to comefor help, and which makes it a
lot more difficult than if theycame earlier or preventatively.

(03:49):
I think young generation is alittle bit more pro-relationship
support.
So that's the main one.
People are really scared and,it's true, I don't know what's
going to happen.
But an opportunity to sit withsomeone who is not just sort of

(04:10):
neutral I'm the relationshiptherapist, so I'm not neutral,
I'm pro-relationship but I'malso pro-individual growth and
there are times in my ownexperience where breakup might
be the best thing.

(04:30):
That happens, but it's not upto me.
It comes from sort of clarity,understanding of what's going on
between us, because sometimespeople want to break up because
they just want to be out of pain, and so that's my job to help
them see where the pain comesfrom and whether they can come
back together.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
So that's one of the things.
I'm just curious do the male orfemale are the ones that
usually reach out to you orappreciate?

Speaker 1 (05:04):
you.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
You know, I think it's changing and now we also
have a whole sort of non-binaryideas about genders.
It's also dependent.
In New York City I'm findingthat, you know, it's not that as
it used to be more women arereaching out than men.

(05:27):
Now I see men reaching out andwith the, you know, non-binary
people.
I don't know, maybe in otherparts of the country it might be
a little bit different, but Ithink people you know there's TV
shows about couples therapy,there's more talk about it.
So I think the person whoreaches out is the one that is

(05:47):
ringing an alarm bell, it's theone that says something is wrong
or let's get some help, andwhoever is willing to do it.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
We know marketing is the heart of every business.
Who would you consider yourtarget customers?
Of course people are inproblems.
Do they hit any demographic orage, and how do you attract them
currently?

Speaker 3 (06:18):
I mean honestly, because I've been around for a
while.
I mean I've been practicingsort of as a licensed
practitioner since 2003.
So word of mouth has becomemuch more the reason.
People come because previousclients tell their friends or

(06:41):
whoever, and so they come.
I'm also like I mentioned.
I teach, I train othertherapists, so I'm known in the
therapeutic community for thequality work, and so then people
refer to the center knowingthat we'll.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
We'll make sure and take care of our clients so the
girlfriend, probably here's thestory you need to talk to.
I will straighten it out foryou I will do my best arrange a
session.
Have you ever thought aboutdoing your own podcast?

Speaker 3 (07:15):
No, I mean.
People keep asking me why am Inot writing a book?
Why don't I have a podcast?
I don't know, it's not a thingthat's occurred to me.
I love to teach and I lovebeing live with people.
I don't know, Maybe in thefuture.

Speaker 2 (07:34):
I see from all that you do, you're a very busy
person.
When you're not so busy withyour business, what do you, what
do you like to do for fun?

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Are you sure you want to know, Because I can go on
about my passion for a long time.
I, I'm a.
I dance Argentinian tango yeah,I really love it.
There's a lot of connectionbetween Argentinian tango and

(08:08):
therapy and couplesrelationships.
It's really it's an improviseddance where people have to be
present and connected and listento each other and to the music,
and I just love it.
Now I lead and I follow and I'mpart of the community here in
New York City.
I can go on about that for thenext three hours.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
I think of that scene with Arnold Schwarzenegger in
that I forget the name of themovie, but doing the t three
hours.
I think of that scene withArnold Schwarzenegger in that I
forget the name of the movie butdoing the tango there.
The lady had a rose in hermouth.

Speaker 3 (08:42):
Well, that's the kind of tango that media shows.
It's not exactly what realArgentinian tango is, but yes.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Listen.
We're about out of time, but Iwant you to leave our listeners
with one thing If only but onething they should remember about
the Center for Psychologicaland Interpersonal Development.
What would that one thing bethat they should remember about
your organization?

Speaker 3 (09:08):
um, that we will take care of them and we will work
really hard for them, for theirrelationships.
I also want to plug in, uh, ifthat's okay, a workshop for
couples.
So it's not therapy, but it's aworkshop for couples my
colleague, mike moran, are doingon november one, two in new

(09:29):
york city.
So if you're listening to it nowor in the next couple of months
, you can go to my website andfind the link.
It's called Hold Me Tight, HoldMe Just Right.
It's around intimacy physical,sexual, emotional.
We love, love giving thisworkshop, and we hope more

(09:50):
couples learn about it.
So that's what I would say.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Our listeners now just have one word on their lips
, and that's how?
How can I get more informationabout the center for
psychological interpersonaldevelopment?

Speaker 3 (10:06):
Best way to go to our website.
It's not a, it's not an easyone name, but it's cpidnyccom,
c-p-i-d-i-d-n-y-ccom.
Center for Psychological andPersonal Development.
You can also search by my nameand that's my website and you

(10:28):
will find out and you can reachout and we'll respond.

Speaker 2 (10:33):
For those people that like to just push the numbers
on the phone, is there a numberyou like to share?

Speaker 3 (10:40):
uh, probably not.
Uh, I think if they go, even ontheir phone, to the, to the
website, there's a way to clickconnect and chat with us and
send us a message.

Speaker 2 (10:54):
Listen, zoe.
It's been a pleasure having youon the show and I wish you and
your business the very bestmoving forward.

Speaker 3 (10:59):
Thank you, it's been my pleasure.

Speaker 1 (11:05):
Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor
Podcast.
To nominate your favorite localbusinesses to be featured on
the show, go to GNPLivecom.
That's GNPLivecom, or call877-934-3302.