June 23, 2025 • 37 mins
My Mom shares her very real and raw testimony and how Jesus was there for her at her lowest.
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Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
Welcome back to another episodeof Good News Gossip, where real
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stories bring hope.
Remind us that God is still inthe business of redemption.
Today's episode is especiallyclose to my heart because our
guest is someone very dear tome, my mom.
She's here to share her powerfulemotional testimony, a story
marked by deep pain, but alsoincredible healing.
She'll be opening up about herjourney through abuse,
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addiction, and brokenness, andhow through it all, God never
let her go.
Her story is one of raw honesty,transformation, and the
redeeming love of Jesus Christ.
This is more than just atestimony.
It is a reminder that no matterhow dark it gets, God is still
writing beautiful stories out ofthe ashes.
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So grab a tissue and settle inbecause this won't be a
conversation you want to miss.
Do we have a box of tissues?
We have tissues.
Okay?
We do.
This will be emotional.
I have been up and down allmorning knowing that we are
gonna talk to my mom Well,before I do this, we'll pray
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'cause I know you're feelinganxious and my heart rate's
like, Lord, we just come to youwith just humility and just for
a heart for you, Lord.
And we just pray that you giveus the words to speak and just
allow for.
This testimony to really get tothe nature of you, Lord.
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And just to show what you'vedone in my mom's life and mine
too, because I wouldn't be herewithout her Lord.
I just pray that you give herthe strength and clear away her
anxiety and just allow her tojust talk about you, Lord.
You name I pray ma'am.
Oh, amen.
Amen.
Okay.
So we don't really have like a,routine for how we start things,
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but the whole heart of thepodcast is just to spread the
good news about what God hasdone.
So my first question is, what'sthe best?
Thing you know, that God hasdone for you, giving me you and
your brother.
Like I know beyond the shadow ofa doubt, you are the very reason
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that I'm still alive today.
That's, that's something thatyou've always told us our whole
life.
Yeah.
And it's you, you make me be thebest me that I can possibly be.
You specifically because I'm thefavorite.
Well, don't tell your brother,but.
I'm just kidding.
Christian, if you listen, I usedto say that to all of'em.
It's like, I'd say, Felicia,you're my favorite, but don't
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tell your brother.
Mm-hmm.
I go her brother and be like,Christian, you're my favorite.
But don't tell your sister.
I think that's a mom thing.
None of them know who's thefavorite.
Well, let's start at thebeginning of your, your life,
which.
It wasn't easy the beginning ofyour life, No, no.
I am one of four children.
the product of a, divorcedhousehold.
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my mother was always, how do yousay?
Busy.
she had her own life ofalcoholism that.
Bled over into my life, mysister's lives, as adults.
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I was the one that got mybrother and sisters up for
school, being the third born.
typically they take on a lot ofthe pressures that the parent
has and, I've learned thisthrough therapy in my life
because I have been in therapyseveral times.
I love therapy.
it works.
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I was my mother's right handperson and I, I dunno where to
start with that.
my mother and I have a goodrelationship today.
It has been rocky through theyears, but as adults we work on
being there for one another.
it can be very difficult.
I know that the Lord leads me tobe close to her for reasons that
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he has not revealed yet.
So I just wanna interject for asecond because we gotta give
granny some context.
'cause I love her.
I love her.
She is so faith filled and sheis, she's my prayer warrior.
She is a prayer warrior, but shehas, I feel like she's gotten to
that point because of all the.
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Demons she's had to face.
Absolutely.
And what I don't, don't holdagainst her, but also realize
that that's made you and yoursiblings who y'all are today,
We've had many, many, manyconversations about it.
We have, come to terms with it.
We're not, we don't holdresentment toward one another
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because of that today.
I love her.
She's my mother.
And every single day I try andget closer and closer to her
through God, because I can callher up and say, Hey mom, you
wanna go to church with me thisweekend?
And she's like, yeah, what timedo I need to be there?
And she's there.
let's say this, and I tell herthis all the time, as much as.
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the neglectful mother that shefeels she was, she has been
present in my children's lives,my grandchildren's lives, and
she has been an amazing grannyand great granny since day one,
since the birth of her first 33years ago.
She has not missed a ball gamethat she couldn't be there for.
She's not missed a choirconcert, a dance recital.
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She's been present so.
Yeah, let's give her that gloryshe has.
Did she come to Lo the Lord?
like beforehand or after it?
She's always had a really closewalk in her own way with the
Lord.
she's been the strongest prayerwarrior in my family that I can
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think of, as you know, above mygrandmother, above my
grandfather.
Yeah, I think it's because of mynana, which is my granny's mom.
Just a little side story, butshe made a deal with God that
she would not cut her hair atall if he would heal her
daughter, So that was 57, 58years ago.
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Mm-hmm.
She has not had a pair ofscissors to her hair today.
Yeah.
And they thought that my AuntDesiree had leukemia when she
was a baby.
And my grandma said, if you healthis child, I promise I will not
cut my hair.
I can just remember brushing mygrandma's hair and thinking, I
know why she didn't cut herhair.
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Mm-hmm.
and that was a very special.
Connection that I shared with mygrandmother.
but yeah, that's my, my greatgrandmama has kind of been the
backbone, I feel like on thefaith that we have in our
family.
She's a really, she's a beaconfor.
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Like forgiveness and love helps.
Yeah.
When you have like someone tolook up to that's praying for
you.
Yeah.
That's been an example for you.
It definitely helps you like,okay, well, you know, it helps
you know the Lord.
Even better if they're showingthe Lord's love.
Oh yeah.
And that, that is like, shedidn't go to church, but you
knew church was in her.
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Yeah.
She'd be in the kitchen andshe'd be humming hymns and
cooking and, and I kind of findmyself doing that today and
going.
Hmm.
gonna miss her when we don'thave her anymore for sure.
not yet.
I'm not gonna cry yet.
So, as it's getting back togranny Yeah.
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As a teenager, my mom and I hada very rocky relationship.
I wanted my way of doing things.
I was 14 and I hadn't lived athome.
I had lived with my best friend,who I'm still best friends with
today.
We still talk just about everyday.
That put a wedge a little bit inmy relationship with my mother
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and my grandmother.
'cause my grandmother thought Ishould be living at home with
her, which we did a lot.
we'd live in a house and theutilities would get cut off and
we'd always be back at grandma'sbecause grandma was our
stability, grandpa was ourstability.
in 1993.
My older sister got married at16, maybe she might have been
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17.
my mom had signed for her to getmarried, I turned 16 the
following year went to work gota car had a job and a car, and I
was working full time and stillgoing to school, and then I fell
in love.
I had to get married.
I mean, just had to do it'causeI was independent and so I
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wasn't, I wasn't pregnant, but Ihad to do it because that's just
who I was.
So got married and I went to mymom and I said, I either wanna
join the National Guard or I'mgonna get married.
And she said, well, you're notjoining the National Guard, so
you proved to me you can live onyour own for a year and I'll
sign for you to get married.
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And I proved to her, proved itto her.
So.
1994, I married Felicia andChristian's father, who was
gonna be the love of my life,and it didn't turn out that way.
But after five or six years intoour marriage, I just had this
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spidey sense, you know, theyalways say God gives you a gut
for a reason and you shouldlisten to it'cause it's really
your, spirit of discernment.
And I felt like I had a verystrong spirit of discernment and
I confronted their dad one daywith some things that I had been
hearing and observing and heconfessed to his infidelity with
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both of my sisters.
And, that was really hard totake.
I was crippled in life at thattime, and I don't mean to speak
ill of my ex-husband.
I don't mean to speak ill of mychildren's father or my sisters
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because I have forgiven them.
It took a long, long time for meto be able to face them.
But that's where I got saved andbaptized at 27, and that's where
I started my deep walk with theunderstanding of the love of
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God.
Because if it had not been forthe Lord, I would not be here
today.
Praise God.
I'm glad you're here.
What a legacy.
I really don't want to causeanybody harm by my testimony,
but like I told Felicia, mytestimony is, thank you.
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It's mine and it's because ofothers that I have it.
And so I, I can kind of thankthem for that infidelity and
that, just the life that theywere walking and I wasn't
walking the same path they were,you know, addicts and alcoholics
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and just doing addicts andalcoholic behavior.
And I hated the drug use.
I hated it so much, and thatcaused so many fights and
physical abuse, and I wanted toprotect Felicia and Christian
from those things.
my ex-husband and I got reallydeep into the church in our
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neighborhood.
We both were baptized and savedon the same night to start a
clean walk with the Lord.
And I know then that Godwhispered to me and said,
because I begged God everynight, why?
Why, why?
And God said, it's not you.
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It is not you at all.
And I heard that just so clear,and I, at that moment began to
get closer to God in scriptureand in prayer and devotion.
And every day I would wake upand pray.
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And every moment that I wasfeeling weak, I would pray and
my.
Walk then became the greatestthing in my life.
you know, aside from my kids,because I was living for them at
that moment and what they neededand trying to deflect what was
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going on around them with the,the tears and the heartache and
the pain.
And if anybody's ever sufferedinfidelity in their marriage,
you know, they know that it isthe hardest thing you can
overcome.
When you love somebody and theybetray you like that, and I
swore to myself, it's nevergonna happen to me again.
I cannot be that deep intodepression and loneliness and
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despair ever again, becausethat's where I was.
I was lost.
I had lost like 50 pounds I,when I would sleep, I would just
have horrible dreams of.
Casting out the devil andpraying to God, you know, you
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know, I'm a child of God and getthee behind me, Satan, I would
wake up just repeating that inmy head and it would calm me
down.
Amen.
eventually their father and Iwere just not able to see the
same marriage that we felt likewe had with each other and we
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divorced.
And that was in 2006.
And the kids and I, my grandmasaid to me, it was actually at
Christmas in 2005, I hadgraduated college for the second
time.
So I now had my associates andmy bachelor's of science and and
I'm a high school dropout.
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I got my GED in 1996 and I wasnot going to be a product of my
environment or society or astatistic, and I wanted my
children to be proud of whotheir mother was.
And so I went to college andthen decided that degree wasn't
what I wanted to do and so Iwent to college again and it was
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the second time in college thatI went through all of that with
my first husband.
In Christmas Eve 2005, Iremember it so clear, we were at
my mother's in Penguin.
She had just lost her husband tocancer and she wanted to do
Christmas at her house thatyear.
And he passed away on October ofthat year.
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And so we decided we were gonnado Christmas at her house.
My husband, the kids' father andI had gotten into some sort of
disagreement or argument orsomething, or he was sick and he
was in my mom's bed and therewas, a big fight and my grandma
standing there on the porch withme, said to me, you promised me
when you graduated college thistime that you were going to
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leave him.
The very next week, my littlesister and I were loading up a
U-Haul truck.
In Conway, Arkansas, and webrought the kids and myself home
to my mother's because thosewords that my grandma said, I
made that promise to her.
I could now support my children.
I had a job, a teaching job,and, I could do the things for
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my kids that I needed to do.
Well, turns out my teaching jobwas in Bigelow, Arkansas, which
is an hour and a half from PBurn Arkansas.
So every morning.
The kids and I would get up atfive 30.
We'd leave the house at six.
We would be in big, I'd dropthem off at school in Conway
because they wanted to finishthe semester out in their
schools.
They were in the fourth andfifth grade at that time.
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And, I would, go teach fromseven 30 to three 30.
I'd pick them up from Boys andGirls Club after school, and we
would make that hour and a halfdrive home back to my mom's in
pen, well, in April.
a dear family member, auntDenise, hooked.
Got me and the children a placeto live in Cy.
So we moved outta my mother'shome and into our own place in
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Cy.
And you know, we struggled.
We struggled.
we didn't have money really.
but I was working for AuntDenise.
And, which is where Felicia metClayton's dad.
So, we knew Clayton's dad fromthe time he was eight years old
until, I mean, even today.
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He's a, he's a wonderful father.
I cannot thank the.
Good Lord enough for theblessings he's brought to our
lives because it was rocky for awhile.
But you know, we got, we got towhere we are today because of
forgiveness and faith.
So we all have a goodrelationship.
We love Clayton's.
Just being able to co-parent andbe stable and want what's best
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for the kid.
That says a lot.
Yes.
And I did that.
That was my, we are gonna circleback here to my childhood.
My childhood was not a good one.
My parents divorced when I waslike 18 months old.
And so we bounced back and forthfrom visiting my dad in Florida
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and visiting my dad at mygrandparents in Illinois, during
the summers.
And that was the relationship wehad.
Aside from that, my dad did cometo my wedding when I married
Felicia's father.
And, I have a lot of heartachefrom that today because he was
there and I didn't ask him togive me away.
I asked my grandfather to giveme away, but I don't really have
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any regret because mygrandfather was the one that was
there.
He was the one that was present.
He was the one that put food onthe table and put a roof over
our head.
So I don't have regret in thataspect.
I have a heartache for my dadbecause I feel like.
If I had asked him, he'd havedone it in a heartbeat today.
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My dad and I have a verycomplicated relationship, but I
am working to make thatcommunication line a little more
consistent.
I love you, dad.
If you hear this, I just wannalet you know I'm very proud of
you for your accomplishments.
He's a software engineer andspent 20 years in the Air Force,
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I do love my dad for the thingsthat he's done.
I know he made some sacrificesthat he had to make and I
understand that today as achild, I did not understand
that.
My childhood It was filled withsexual abuse, not by family
members, but by strangers thatlived across the street or down
the road it started, I canremember at the age of eight my
stepbrother sexually abusing me.
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but I just thought, you know,that's, I guess that's just the
way the world was.
It didn't ever occur to me to goto my mother and say, this
happened to me.
She knows today.
She didn't know then.
my stepdad was horribly abusiveto her.
He nearly killed her, so sheleft him at that moment.
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I did not want my children tonot know their father.
I was not going to be thatparent that kept them away from
him.
I made them go to his housesometimes against their will,
but I made'em go and to know thehistory and to know the story.
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I have to actually share thisvery private family moment
because the year I divorcedtheir father.
My little sister married hislittle brother, so it kept our
families intertwined everyholiday.
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Their father was more thanwelcome to come to holidays.
He was more than welcome to cometo birthdays.
He was more than welcome to,join us in whatever we were
doing.
And he did a lot of the times.
I never, ever excluded Phil fromanything because of the
relationship that I had had withmy dad.
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I did not want that for mychildren, and I made it very
clear early on, I don't care ifyou pay me child support, I
don't care if you don't show upfor this, but I want you to be
in their life.
And he tried his very best to dothat.
But addiction does really awfulthings to families and that's
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not my testimony, so I won't gointo that.
But I will say that is thereason why he and I are not
together.
So me and the kids, we moved toCy, like I said.
and, April of 2006.
I married my little junior highsweetheart.
had this major crush on him fromthe time I was 12.
We did seven years together withfour kids raising them.
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the kids were truly affected bythat marriage.
And when we separated, I lostall control of my mind, my
heart.
I was completely shattered,devastated.
I was not living my life.
Right.
I was partying, I was clubbing,I was, my kids were grown.
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I had a grandson in my home andI could not get my life
together.
And then one night my sonstopped me in the hallway and he
said, I have lost all respectfor you as a mother.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
And I said, wow.
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What am I doing?
What am I doing in my life thatvery month?
A young man that I used to workwith at McDonald's when I was
16, 17, 18 years old, popped upon Facebook, and so I, you know,
sent him a message.
I'm like, Hey, when are yougonna take me hunting?
That was you slid into his dms?
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I slid into his dms.
I mean, oh, snap.
Oh my gosh.
I proposed to him.
Oh my gosh.
so, that was November of 2014,right before Thanksgiving,
actually, I think it was the dayof Thanksgiving.
He's, and he just messaged meback.
He's like, when do you wanna go?
I said, Hey, here's my phonenumber.
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So we started talking.
We went out Black Friday night.
We had Thanksgiving.
The very next day we're on ourfirst date.
And I would like to say the restis history, but.
in 2014, I still was livingbetween do I work on my marriage
or do I let this go and go withthis guy over here?
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And yes, I struggled.
I struggled and struggled andstruggled, and Brian and I were
in a relationship and myex-husband just kept popping up
here and there.
One night after my kids had metBrian, my adult children had met
Brian.
They both had graduated highschool.
At this point, The ex-husbandcame to the house thinking, oh,
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you know, this is gonna be blah,blah, blah, blah, blah,
whatever.
We won't go into that.
And Felicia pulls him into our,little garage apartment that we
had built for her, and Claytonand I basically told him, look,
stop showing up here.
My mom has, met this guy and Icould call this guy dad.
I never could call you dad.
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He was always Jason, but sevenyears.
That night, I was like, I'm sosick of this like, my mom just
needs better.
And I knew Brian was it.
I knew he had a good, he had abond with him.
Yeah.
Because of that first time I sawhim first, literally first time
I laid eyes, I was like, okay.
So she tells my ex-husband.
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You're not it.
Please go away.
Sorry, Jason.
Sorry, not sorry if you hearthis.
Sorry, I not, sorry.
so that was the point where Isaid, and I remember this clear
and plain and it was almost thetime of day.
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I can remember I was about to goto bed and something in my
heart.
Said, God let him go or bringhim home, but I can't do this
anymore.
The next morning I woke up and Iwas just, Brian, Brian, Brian,
Brian, Brian, Brian.
Like, I could not stop thinkingabout him.
And I had hurt him.
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You know, I had reallydevastated him.
And so I called him up and I'mlike, Hey, what are you doing?
Let's get together.
And from that moment on, we wereinseparable.
And that was about February of2015.
And then in April we were on theback of our motorcycle coming
back from a long motorcycle ridewith our friends.
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Now, let me just preface this bysaying this man went to church
the first night.
He stayed at my house, we sleptin the living room on a blow up
mattress, and he got up and wentto church and I thought, what am
I doing with my life?
Like I'm not.
I should be going to church withhim because I feel like this is
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it.
I should be by his side inchurch.
But I didn't get up and I didn'tgo to church that, that morning.
Then I knew that God was, hadanswered my prayers because in
April, on the back of amotorcycle all day long, I was
just nervous'cause I knew I wasgonna ask him and he said.
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I sure will ask him.
What you, go ahead.
Oh, ask him.
You know, would you, would youmarry me?
Mm.
He was like, sure will.
And he tapped my leg'cause hewas driving a motorcycle.
And that was April 23rd, 2014.
And we were married May 19th.
I'm sorry, that was April 23rd,2015.
And we were married May 29th,2015.
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So I remembered our anniversary,honey, I always forget.
Just kidding.
we were going to church.
I won't say where, but we hadbeen attending church and then
for some reason we just stoppedgoing.
I can't remember why, but healways got up and he read his
Bible Every morning he wouldread his Bible and he would do a
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devotion.
And so we got to a point in ourmarriage where it was a few
years in early on.
Where there were some thingsthat caused us some serious
heartaches, things we had doneto each other, and I, I don't
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know how to talk about that.
I don't, you don't have to.
Okay.
It brought us closer to theLord.
I remember conversations that wewould have, you know, get this
devil, get this devil out of ourhome.
I, I can't go through thisheartache again.
I can't, I won't.
But he had filed for divorce.
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and then the day I was servedwith papers, he saw the pain in
my heart and in my face.
For what we were going throughas a couple.
And he canceled.
He, he stopped the divorce, hewithdrew it.
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And that April, that EasterSunday, we sat down and he said,
now we had been living, he hadlived in a different room for
about 90 days in our home, justso that he could.
File for the divorce, you know?
and it was hard.
It was hard to see him every dayand know that I loved him, and I
knew he loved me.
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He was just lost.
We were both lost.
And so we started doing devotiontogether every morning and
praying together every morningand just being one with the Lord
together in growing our marriagein goodness and faith and,
Because of that, he and I wereable to overcome the
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transgressions we had causedeach other.
I take marriage very seriously.
Very seriously.
I have always taken it veryseriously and it was very hard
for me in both of my divorces.
And then I was here at thiscrossroad and it was about to
happen again, and I was just.
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Working, I was working as asocial worker at the time and,
trying to do my due diligencewith my job because I loved my
job and I was amazing at it, andit was what I'd always wanted to
do.
It just felt like I was at homeand at peace with it.
I just got to where I couldn'tdo it anymore physically because
my body was not able to allow meto do the functions that I had
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to do.
So it's 2019.
I've discovered some things inmy marriage that I thought would
never happen, and they happened.
And from that moment on, he andI have been nothing but devoted
to each other and it's hard somedays, but we get through it with
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prayer.
we do attend church as we can weare in a situation where we
could use a lot of prayer.
My father-in-law is very ill andin a rehab right now, and my
mother-in-law is staying with usand she has late stage dementia
and every day is a differentday, but we're getting through
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it with the grace of God.
Because my in-laws have alwayshad a solid walk with God.
They have attended the samechurch for 47 years.
No matter what preacher wasthere, no matter what.
Children's church was going on.
They faithfully attended thischurch, and so two years ago,
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Brian and I said, we don'treally have a home church.
We'd been looking for one.
We had attended church, but thechurch we were attending at the
time was also during the time ofthe things that were happening
in our marriage.
So we decided we'll just lookfor a church.
And we bounced around a couplelittle churches here and there.
You know, we'd go here, gothere.
But, I can feel the spirit ofthe Lord where we go.
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I get, I cry every surface.
we pray every night with myin-laws.
my father-in-law is pre terminalwith cancer.
He had a year and a half ofchemo and radiation, and now
he's not able to transferhimself and they're trying to
strengthen him.
he is such a godly man, such adeserving man, and I am so proud
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and honored to be hisdaughter-in-law because he has
raised some fine men in thisworld through church.
Through God, we are where we aretoday.
My husband is an amazing Pappy.
He's an amazing husband.
He is an amazing father.
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He's an amazing son.
And because of him, I look athim every day and I thank God
that I am where I am todaybecause of that.
All of the heartache, all of thepain, all of the abuse, all of
the sexual abuse, all of theneglect as a child.
It is okay today because of him,because of God, y'all What I
(32:34):
wanna say is that y'all'smarriage, the enemy naturally
hates marriage.
It's I just wanna say, y'alljust keep.
Pursuing the Lord that is goingto be the best defense against
and a spiritual attack.
And I will say there are times,and I know Ev, anybody listening
(32:56):
to this can attest to this.
There are times where you justfeel like it's easier to just
give up than to, to glorify Godand say, no, I took vows in
front of my friends and myfamily for the Lord, with the
Lord through the Lord.
Marriage is going, my marriageis going to last.
I'm going to do this.
(33:18):
And you have to have that.
You have to have that strengthand that integrity to, to make
both people have to have thatstrength and integrity.
And if you don't have the Lord,you don't have that strength.
Many things in your life, evenyour childhood, that I wanted to
protect you from.
And I know we've hadconversations about this and we
won't go into detail becauselike I said, that's not my place
(33:41):
to call people out.
It's my place to say whathappened to me.
you have been a shining light inmy life.
I am gonna cry through this one.
And if it hadn't been for youand your gloriousness with God
at times.
I never would've made it towhere I am today.
Felicia and I thank you for mewatching you drink your coffee
(34:05):
and do your devotions on theporch and me going, did I raise
that?
Is that mine?
And I'm just so proud of whereyou and your brother are today
in life, and I would like totake full credit for that, but I
know it was through the grace ofGod that we got to where we
were.
Mm-hmm.
(34:27):
And I love, I love your devotionto the Lord, and you are an
inspiration.
'cause I'll be like, well,Felicia and Zach are going to
church, but we probably betterget up and go to church too.
Mm-hmm.
The good news, gossip is foundedon this Bible story of the woman
at the well who was with.
(34:48):
However many men.
A lot.
A lot of men.
That's what I feel like reflectsme the most.
'cause I have come from the sametwo failed marriages.
I just feel like we got divorcedon the same day on our second
marriage actually.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
Say that.
Well, I'm, I mean, it, I thinkit's really cool that that
happened.
(35:08):
But in all, in all, likehonesty, the woman at the well,
he said, go and send no more.
And when she knew that that wasthe Lord, the the prophet.
Himself.
She could not shut up.
(35:28):
She went and told like,everybody in town, this guy
right here, he's legit.
He's the one you need to betalking to.
Mm-hmm.
And he, and he went and hestayed there, I think for like
three days in the town.
And everybody was like, oh, thisguy's like the guy.
This is Jesus.
This is Jesus.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
So good news, gossip.
That's what we're about.
(35:49):
We are.
Telling these stories becausethat is what we're instructed to
do.
Go send no more.
Tell everybody you can.
Yeah.
About me.
You think in your life, oh, thisgood thing happened to me, this
bad thing happened over here,but this good thing happened to
me.
And you forget that the goodthings that happened to your are
by the grace of God and throughhis love.
(36:11):
In the, in the Bible story, shesays, he told me everything that
I've done.
He knows everything.
Got every hair on her head.
Yeah.
And all the bad things thathappened.
I just wanna clarify this'causeI, this steers people away from
God a lot is like, well if God'sreal, why did his bad stuff
happen?
God doesn't bring the bad stuff.
We live in a, a fall he world, Ihave told you all your life or
(36:34):
most of your adult life, he didnot give us a spirit of fear.
He didn't give us a spirit ofanxiety.
He didn't give us a spirit ofworry.
You know, like it, God has neverlet me down.
Period.
Thank you for having me.
I, actually feel like we've hadquite a huge devotional here
today, and I'm gonna walk outtahere feeling really good.
So, amen.
I knew you would tell your storyand feel better and it would be
(36:58):
a release of hurt that you'veheld onto, I think.
Sure.
That, and this is gonna help.
A lot of people I want, I hopeso.
This is, I keep talking aboutwhat the podcast is about and
for, but that's really importantis to help, I hope one person
(37:18):
hears my story and says, that'sI've, I've had that in my life.
And I know I'm still herebecause God has a plan for me,
and I've always known all mylife that God had bigger things
for me and still has biggerthings for me.
I don't think my, my story's notfinished.
Amen.
So preach it, sister.
All right guys.
(37:39):
I'm out.
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
Welcome back to another episodeof Good News Gossip, where real
(00:23):
stories bring hope.
Remind us that God is still inthe business of redemption.
Today's episode is especiallyclose to my heart because our
guest is someone very dear tome, my mom.
She's here to share her powerfulemotional testimony, a story
marked by deep pain, but alsoincredible healing.
She'll be opening up about herjourney through abuse,
(00:46):
addiction, and brokenness, andhow through it all, God never
let her go.
Her story is one of raw honesty,transformation, and the
redeeming love of Jesus Christ.
This is more than just atestimony.
It is a reminder that no matterhow dark it gets, God is still
writing beautiful stories out ofthe ashes.
(01:08):
So grab a tissue and settle inbecause this won't be a
conversation you want to miss.
Do we have a box of tissues?
We have tissues.
Okay?
We do.
This will be emotional.
I have been up and down allmorning knowing that we are
gonna talk to my mom Well,before I do this, we'll pray
(01:30):
'cause I know you're feelinganxious and my heart rate's
like, Lord, we just come to youwith just humility and just for
a heart for you, Lord.
And we just pray that you giveus the words to speak and just
allow for.
This testimony to really get tothe nature of you, Lord.
(01:56):
And just to show what you'vedone in my mom's life and mine
too, because I wouldn't be herewithout her Lord.
I just pray that you give herthe strength and clear away her
anxiety and just allow her tojust talk about you, Lord.
You name I pray ma'am.
Oh, amen.
Amen.
Okay.
So we don't really have like a,routine for how we start things,
(02:20):
but the whole heart of thepodcast is just to spread the
good news about what God hasdone.
So my first question is, what'sthe best?
Thing you know, that God hasdone for you, giving me you and
your brother.
Like I know beyond the shadow ofa doubt, you are the very reason
(02:42):
that I'm still alive today.
That's, that's something thatyou've always told us our whole
life.
Yeah.
And it's you, you make me be thebest me that I can possibly be.
You specifically because I'm thefavorite.
Well, don't tell your brother,but.
I'm just kidding.
Christian, if you listen, I usedto say that to all of'em.
It's like, I'd say, Felicia,you're my favorite, but don't
(03:04):
tell your brother.
Mm-hmm.
I go her brother and be like,Christian, you're my favorite.
But don't tell your sister.
I think that's a mom thing.
None of them know who's thefavorite.
Well, let's start at thebeginning of your, your life,
which.
It wasn't easy the beginning ofyour life, No, no.
I am one of four children.
the product of a, divorcedhousehold.
(03:26):
my mother was always, how do yousay?
Busy.
she had her own life ofalcoholism that.
Bled over into my life, mysister's lives, as adults.
(03:47):
I was the one that got mybrother and sisters up for
school, being the third born.
typically they take on a lot ofthe pressures that the parent
has and, I've learned thisthrough therapy in my life
because I have been in therapyseveral times.
I love therapy.
it works.
(04:08):
I was my mother's right handperson and I, I dunno where to
start with that.
my mother and I have a goodrelationship today.
It has been rocky through theyears, but as adults we work on
being there for one another.
it can be very difficult.
I know that the Lord leads me tobe close to her for reasons that
(04:32):
he has not revealed yet.
So I just wanna interject for asecond because we gotta give
granny some context.
'cause I love her.
I love her.
She is so faith filled and sheis, she's my prayer warrior.
She is a prayer warrior, but shehas, I feel like she's gotten to
that point because of all the.
(04:52):
Demons she's had to face.
Absolutely.
And what I don't, don't holdagainst her, but also realize
that that's made you and yoursiblings who y'all are today,
We've had many, many, manyconversations about it.
We have, come to terms with it.
We're not, we don't holdresentment toward one another
(05:14):
because of that today.
I love her.
She's my mother.
And every single day I try andget closer and closer to her
through God, because I can callher up and say, Hey mom, you
wanna go to church with me thisweekend?
And she's like, yeah, what timedo I need to be there?
And she's there.
let's say this, and I tell herthis all the time, as much as.
(05:36):
the neglectful mother that shefeels she was, she has been
present in my children's lives,my grandchildren's lives, and
she has been an amazing grannyand great granny since day one,
since the birth of her first 33years ago.
She has not missed a ball gamethat she couldn't be there for.
She's not missed a choirconcert, a dance recital.
(05:59):
She's been present so.
Yeah, let's give her that gloryshe has.
Did she come to Lo the Lord?
like beforehand or after it?
She's always had a really closewalk in her own way with the
Lord.
she's been the strongest prayerwarrior in my family that I can
(06:24):
think of, as you know, above mygrandmother, above my
grandfather.
Yeah, I think it's because of mynana, which is my granny's mom.
Just a little side story, butshe made a deal with God that
she would not cut her hair atall if he would heal her
daughter, So that was 57, 58years ago.
(06:46):
Mm-hmm.
She has not had a pair ofscissors to her hair today.
Yeah.
And they thought that my AuntDesiree had leukemia when she
was a baby.
And my grandma said, if you healthis child, I promise I will not
cut my hair.
I can just remember brushing mygrandma's hair and thinking, I
know why she didn't cut herhair.
(07:07):
Mm-hmm.
and that was a very special.
Connection that I shared with mygrandmother.
but yeah, that's my, my greatgrandmama has kind of been the
backbone, I feel like on thefaith that we have in our
family.
She's a really, she's a beaconfor.
(07:29):
Like forgiveness and love helps.
Yeah.
When you have like someone tolook up to that's praying for
you.
Yeah.
That's been an example for you.
It definitely helps you like,okay, well, you know, it helps
you know the Lord.
Even better if they're showingthe Lord's love.
Oh yeah.
And that, that is like, shedidn't go to church, but you
knew church was in her.
(07:49):
Yeah.
She'd be in the kitchen andshe'd be humming hymns and
cooking and, and I kind of findmyself doing that today and
going.
Hmm.
gonna miss her when we don'thave her anymore for sure.
not yet.
I'm not gonna cry yet.
So, as it's getting back togranny Yeah.
(08:10):
As a teenager, my mom and I hada very rocky relationship.
I wanted my way of doing things.
I was 14 and I hadn't lived athome.
I had lived with my best friend,who I'm still best friends with
today.
We still talk just about everyday.
That put a wedge a little bit inmy relationship with my mother
(08:32):
and my grandmother.
'cause my grandmother thought Ishould be living at home with
her, which we did a lot.
we'd live in a house and theutilities would get cut off and
we'd always be back at grandma'sbecause grandma was our
stability, grandpa was ourstability.
in 1993.
My older sister got married at16, maybe she might have been
(08:54):
17.
my mom had signed for her to getmarried, I turned 16 the
following year went to work gota car had a job and a car, and I
was working full time and stillgoing to school, and then I fell
in love.
I had to get married.
I mean, just had to do it'causeI was independent and so I
(09:14):
wasn't, I wasn't pregnant, but Ihad to do it because that's just
who I was.
So got married and I went to mymom and I said, I either wanna
join the National Guard or I'mgonna get married.
And she said, well, you're notjoining the National Guard, so
you proved to me you can live onyour own for a year and I'll
sign for you to get married.
(09:35):
And I proved to her, proved itto her.
So.
1994, I married Felicia andChristian's father, who was
gonna be the love of my life,and it didn't turn out that way.
But after five or six years intoour marriage, I just had this
(10:01):
spidey sense, you know, theyalways say God gives you a gut
for a reason and you shouldlisten to it'cause it's really
your, spirit of discernment.
And I felt like I had a verystrong spirit of discernment and
I confronted their dad one daywith some things that I had been
hearing and observing and heconfessed to his infidelity with
(10:25):
both of my sisters.
And, that was really hard totake.
I was crippled in life at thattime, and I don't mean to speak
ill of my ex-husband.
I don't mean to speak ill of mychildren's father or my sisters
(10:45):
because I have forgiven them.
It took a long, long time for meto be able to face them.
But that's where I got saved andbaptized at 27, and that's where
I started my deep walk with theunderstanding of the love of
(11:06):
God.
Because if it had not been forthe Lord, I would not be here
today.
Praise God.
I'm glad you're here.
What a legacy.
I really don't want to causeanybody harm by my testimony,
but like I told Felicia, mytestimony is, thank you.
(11:28):
It's mine and it's because ofothers that I have it.
And so I, I can kind of thankthem for that infidelity and
that, just the life that theywere walking and I wasn't
walking the same path they were,you know, addicts and alcoholics
(11:49):
and just doing addicts andalcoholic behavior.
And I hated the drug use.
I hated it so much, and thatcaused so many fights and
physical abuse, and I wanted toprotect Felicia and Christian
from those things.
my ex-husband and I got reallydeep into the church in our
(12:10):
neighborhood.
We both were baptized and savedon the same night to start a
clean walk with the Lord.
And I know then that Godwhispered to me and said,
because I begged God everynight, why?
Why, why?
And God said, it's not you.
(12:32):
It is not you at all.
And I heard that just so clear,and I, at that moment began to
get closer to God in scriptureand in prayer and devotion.
And every day I would wake upand pray.
(12:55):
And every moment that I wasfeeling weak, I would pray and
my.
Walk then became the greatestthing in my life.
you know, aside from my kids,because I was living for them at
that moment and what they neededand trying to deflect what was
(13:18):
going on around them with the,the tears and the heartache and
the pain.
And if anybody's ever sufferedinfidelity in their marriage,
you know, they know that it isthe hardest thing you can
overcome.
When you love somebody and theybetray you like that, and I
swore to myself, it's nevergonna happen to me again.
I cannot be that deep intodepression and loneliness and
(13:42):
despair ever again, becausethat's where I was.
I was lost.
I had lost like 50 pounds I,when I would sleep, I would just
have horrible dreams of.
Casting out the devil andpraying to God, you know, you
(14:03):
know, I'm a child of God and getthee behind me, Satan, I would
wake up just repeating that inmy head and it would calm me
down.
Amen.
eventually their father and Iwere just not able to see the
same marriage that we felt likewe had with each other and we
(14:23):
divorced.
And that was in 2006.
And the kids and I, my grandmasaid to me, it was actually at
Christmas in 2005, I hadgraduated college for the second
time.
So I now had my associates andmy bachelor's of science and and
I'm a high school dropout.
(14:44):
I got my GED in 1996 and I wasnot going to be a product of my
environment or society or astatistic, and I wanted my
children to be proud of whotheir mother was.
And so I went to college andthen decided that degree wasn't
what I wanted to do and so Iwent to college again and it was
(15:08):
the second time in college thatI went through all of that with
my first husband.
In Christmas Eve 2005, Iremember it so clear, we were at
my mother's in Penguin.
She had just lost her husband tocancer and she wanted to do
Christmas at her house thatyear.
And he passed away on October ofthat year.
(15:31):
And so we decided we were gonnado Christmas at her house.
My husband, the kids' father andI had gotten into some sort of
disagreement or argument orsomething, or he was sick and he
was in my mom's bed and therewas, a big fight and my grandma
standing there on the porch withme, said to me, you promised me
when you graduated college thistime that you were going to
(15:53):
leave him.
The very next week, my littlesister and I were loading up a
U-Haul truck.
In Conway, Arkansas, and webrought the kids and myself home
to my mother's because thosewords that my grandma said, I
made that promise to her.
I could now support my children.
I had a job, a teaching job,and, I could do the things for
(16:16):
my kids that I needed to do.
Well, turns out my teaching jobwas in Bigelow, Arkansas, which
is an hour and a half from PBurn Arkansas.
So every morning.
The kids and I would get up atfive 30.
We'd leave the house at six.
We would be in big, I'd dropthem off at school in Conway
because they wanted to finishthe semester out in their
schools.
They were in the fourth andfifth grade at that time.
(16:39):
And, I would, go teach fromseven 30 to three 30.
I'd pick them up from Boys andGirls Club after school, and we
would make that hour and a halfdrive home back to my mom's in
pen, well, in April.
a dear family member, auntDenise, hooked.
Got me and the children a placeto live in Cy.
So we moved outta my mother'shome and into our own place in
(17:02):
Cy.
And you know, we struggled.
We struggled.
we didn't have money really.
but I was working for AuntDenise.
And, which is where Felicia metClayton's dad.
So, we knew Clayton's dad fromthe time he was eight years old
until, I mean, even today.
(17:24):
He's a, he's a wonderful father.
I cannot thank the.
Good Lord enough for theblessings he's brought to our
lives because it was rocky for awhile.
But you know, we got, we got towhere we are today because of
forgiveness and faith.
So we all have a goodrelationship.
We love Clayton's.
Just being able to co-parent andbe stable and want what's best
(17:45):
for the kid.
That says a lot.
Yes.
And I did that.
That was my, we are gonna circleback here to my childhood.
My childhood was not a good one.
My parents divorced when I waslike 18 months old.
And so we bounced back and forthfrom visiting my dad in Florida
(18:06):
and visiting my dad at mygrandparents in Illinois, during
the summers.
And that was the relationship wehad.
Aside from that, my dad did cometo my wedding when I married
Felicia's father.
And, I have a lot of heartachefrom that today because he was
there and I didn't ask him togive me away.
I asked my grandfather to giveme away, but I don't really have
(18:29):
any regret because mygrandfather was the one that was
there.
He was the one that was present.
He was the one that put food onthe table and put a roof over
our head.
So I don't have regret in thataspect.
I have a heartache for my dadbecause I feel like.
If I had asked him, he'd havedone it in a heartbeat today.
(18:50):
My dad and I have a verycomplicated relationship, but I
am working to make thatcommunication line a little more
consistent.
I love you, dad.
If you hear this, I just wannalet you know I'm very proud of
you for your accomplishments.
He's a software engineer andspent 20 years in the Air Force,
(19:11):
I do love my dad for the thingsthat he's done.
I know he made some sacrificesthat he had to make and I
understand that today as achild, I did not understand
that.
My childhood It was filled withsexual abuse, not by family
members, but by strangers thatlived across the street or down
the road it started, I canremember at the age of eight my
stepbrother sexually abusing me.
(19:33):
but I just thought, you know,that's, I guess that's just the
way the world was.
It didn't ever occur to me to goto my mother and say, this
happened to me.
She knows today.
She didn't know then.
my stepdad was horribly abusiveto her.
He nearly killed her, so sheleft him at that moment.
(19:53):
I did not want my children tonot know their father.
I was not going to be thatparent that kept them away from
him.
I made them go to his housesometimes against their will,
but I made'em go and to know thehistory and to know the story.
(20:17):
I have to actually share thisvery private family moment
because the year I divorcedtheir father.
My little sister married hislittle brother, so it kept our
families intertwined everyholiday.
(20:40):
Their father was more thanwelcome to come to holidays.
He was more than welcome to cometo birthdays.
He was more than welcome to,join us in whatever we were
doing.
And he did a lot of the times.
I never, ever excluded Phil fromanything because of the
relationship that I had had withmy dad.
(21:00):
I did not want that for mychildren, and I made it very
clear early on, I don't care ifyou pay me child support, I
don't care if you don't show upfor this, but I want you to be
in their life.
And he tried his very best to dothat.
But addiction does really awfulthings to families and that's
(21:24):
not my testimony, so I won't gointo that.
But I will say that is thereason why he and I are not
together.
So me and the kids, we moved toCy, like I said.
and, April of 2006.
I married my little junior highsweetheart.
had this major crush on him fromthe time I was 12.
We did seven years together withfour kids raising them.
(21:47):
the kids were truly affected bythat marriage.
And when we separated, I lostall control of my mind, my
heart.
I was completely shattered,devastated.
I was not living my life.
Right.
I was partying, I was clubbing,I was, my kids were grown.
(22:09):
I had a grandson in my home andI could not get my life
together.
And then one night my sonstopped me in the hallway and he
said, I have lost all respectfor you as a mother.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Yeah.
And I said, wow.
(22:30):
What am I doing?
What am I doing in my life thatvery month?
A young man that I used to workwith at McDonald's when I was
16, 17, 18 years old, popped upon Facebook, and so I, you know,
sent him a message.
I'm like, Hey, when are yougonna take me hunting?
That was you slid into his dms?
(22:50):
I slid into his dms.
I mean, oh, snap.
Oh my gosh.
I proposed to him.
Oh my gosh.
so, that was November of 2014,right before Thanksgiving,
actually, I think it was the dayof Thanksgiving.
He's, and he just messaged meback.
He's like, when do you wanna go?
I said, Hey, here's my phonenumber.
(23:11):
So we started talking.
We went out Black Friday night.
We had Thanksgiving.
The very next day we're on ourfirst date.
And I would like to say the restis history, but.
in 2014, I still was livingbetween do I work on my marriage
or do I let this go and go withthis guy over here?
(23:35):
And yes, I struggled.
I struggled and struggled andstruggled, and Brian and I were
in a relationship and myex-husband just kept popping up
here and there.
One night after my kids had metBrian, my adult children had met
Brian.
They both had graduated highschool.
At this point, The ex-husbandcame to the house thinking, oh,
(23:57):
you know, this is gonna be blah,blah, blah, blah, blah,
whatever.
We won't go into that.
And Felicia pulls him into our,little garage apartment that we
had built for her, and Claytonand I basically told him, look,
stop showing up here.
My mom has, met this guy and Icould call this guy dad.
I never could call you dad.
(24:19):
He was always Jason, but sevenyears.
That night, I was like, I'm sosick of this like, my mom just
needs better.
And I knew Brian was it.
I knew he had a good, he had abond with him.
Yeah.
Because of that first time I sawhim first, literally first time
I laid eyes, I was like, okay.
So she tells my ex-husband.
(24:40):
You're not it.
Please go away.
Sorry, Jason.
Sorry, not sorry if you hearthis.
Sorry, I not, sorry.
so that was the point where Isaid, and I remember this clear
and plain and it was almost thetime of day.
(25:01):
I can remember I was about to goto bed and something in my
heart.
Said, God let him go or bringhim home, but I can't do this
anymore.
The next morning I woke up and Iwas just, Brian, Brian, Brian,
Brian, Brian, Brian.
Like, I could not stop thinkingabout him.
And I had hurt him.
(25:21):
You know, I had reallydevastated him.
And so I called him up and I'mlike, Hey, what are you doing?
Let's get together.
And from that moment on, we wereinseparable.
And that was about February of2015.
And then in April we were on theback of our motorcycle coming
back from a long motorcycle ridewith our friends.
(25:43):
Now, let me just preface this bysaying this man went to church
the first night.
He stayed at my house, we sleptin the living room on a blow up
mattress, and he got up and wentto church and I thought, what am
I doing with my life?
Like I'm not.
I should be going to church withhim because I feel like this is
(26:07):
it.
I should be by his side inchurch.
But I didn't get up and I didn'tgo to church that, that morning.
Then I knew that God was, hadanswered my prayers because in
April, on the back of amotorcycle all day long, I was
just nervous'cause I knew I wasgonna ask him and he said.
(26:30):
I sure will ask him.
What you, go ahead.
Oh, ask him.
You know, would you, would youmarry me?
Mm.
He was like, sure will.
And he tapped my leg'cause hewas driving a motorcycle.
And that was April 23rd, 2014.
And we were married May 19th.
I'm sorry, that was April 23rd,2015.
And we were married May 29th,2015.
(26:53):
So I remembered our anniversary,honey, I always forget.
Just kidding.
we were going to church.
I won't say where, but we hadbeen attending church and then
for some reason we just stoppedgoing.
I can't remember why, but healways got up and he read his
Bible Every morning he wouldread his Bible and he would do a
(27:15):
devotion.
And so we got to a point in ourmarriage where it was a few
years in early on.
Where there were some thingsthat caused us some serious
heartaches, things we had doneto each other, and I, I don't
(27:39):
know how to talk about that.
I don't, you don't have to.
Okay.
It brought us closer to theLord.
I remember conversations that wewould have, you know, get this
devil, get this devil out of ourhome.
I, I can't go through thisheartache again.
I can't, I won't.
But he had filed for divorce.
(28:00):
and then the day I was servedwith papers, he saw the pain in
my heart and in my face.
For what we were going throughas a couple.
And he canceled.
He, he stopped the divorce, hewithdrew it.
(28:23):
And that April, that EasterSunday, we sat down and he said,
now we had been living, he hadlived in a different room for
about 90 days in our home, justso that he could.
File for the divorce, you know?
and it was hard.
It was hard to see him every dayand know that I loved him, and I
knew he loved me.
(28:44):
He was just lost.
We were both lost.
And so we started doing devotiontogether every morning and
praying together every morningand just being one with the Lord
together in growing our marriagein goodness and faith and,
Because of that, he and I wereable to overcome the
(29:08):
transgressions we had causedeach other.
I take marriage very seriously.
Very seriously.
I have always taken it veryseriously and it was very hard
for me in both of my divorces.
And then I was here at thiscrossroad and it was about to
happen again, and I was just.
(29:29):
Working, I was working as asocial worker at the time and,
trying to do my due diligencewith my job because I loved my
job and I was amazing at it, andit was what I'd always wanted to
do.
It just felt like I was at homeand at peace with it.
I just got to where I couldn'tdo it anymore physically because
my body was not able to allow meto do the functions that I had
(29:50):
to do.
So it's 2019.
I've discovered some things inmy marriage that I thought would
never happen, and they happened.
And from that moment on, he andI have been nothing but devoted
to each other and it's hard somedays, but we get through it with
(30:13):
prayer.
we do attend church as we can weare in a situation where we
could use a lot of prayer.
My father-in-law is very ill andin a rehab right now, and my
mother-in-law is staying with usand she has late stage dementia
and every day is a differentday, but we're getting through
(30:34):
it with the grace of God.
Because my in-laws have alwayshad a solid walk with God.
They have attended the samechurch for 47 years.
No matter what preacher wasthere, no matter what.
Children's church was going on.
They faithfully attended thischurch, and so two years ago,
(30:59):
Brian and I said, we don'treally have a home church.
We'd been looking for one.
We had attended church, but thechurch we were attending at the
time was also during the time ofthe things that were happening
in our marriage.
So we decided we'll just lookfor a church.
And we bounced around a couplelittle churches here and there.
You know, we'd go here, gothere.
But, I can feel the spirit ofthe Lord where we go.
(31:22):
I get, I cry every surface.
we pray every night with myin-laws.
my father-in-law is pre terminalwith cancer.
He had a year and a half ofchemo and radiation, and now
he's not able to transferhimself and they're trying to
strengthen him.
he is such a godly man, such adeserving man, and I am so proud
(31:47):
and honored to be hisdaughter-in-law because he has
raised some fine men in thisworld through church.
Through God, we are where we aretoday.
My husband is an amazing Pappy.
He's an amazing husband.
He is an amazing father.
(32:07):
He's an amazing son.
And because of him, I look athim every day and I thank God
that I am where I am todaybecause of that.
All of the heartache, all of thepain, all of the abuse, all of
the sexual abuse, all of theneglect as a child.
It is okay today because of him,because of God, y'all What I
(32:34):
wanna say is that y'all'smarriage, the enemy naturally
hates marriage.
It's I just wanna say, y'alljust keep.
Pursuing the Lord that is goingto be the best defense against
and a spiritual attack.
And I will say there are times,and I know Ev, anybody listening
(32:56):
to this can attest to this.
There are times where you justfeel like it's easier to just
give up than to, to glorify Godand say, no, I took vows in
front of my friends and myfamily for the Lord, with the
Lord through the Lord.
Marriage is going, my marriageis going to last.
I'm going to do this.
(33:18):
And you have to have that.
You have to have that strengthand that integrity to, to make
both people have to have thatstrength and integrity.
And if you don't have the Lord,you don't have that strength.
Many things in your life, evenyour childhood, that I wanted to
protect you from.
And I know we've hadconversations about this and we
won't go into detail becauselike I said, that's not my place
(33:41):
to call people out.
It's my place to say whathappened to me.
you have been a shining light inmy life.
I am gonna cry through this one.
And if it hadn't been for youand your gloriousness with God
at times.
I never would've made it towhere I am today.
Felicia and I thank you for mewatching you drink your coffee
(34:05):
and do your devotions on theporch and me going, did I raise
that?
Is that mine?
And I'm just so proud of whereyou and your brother are today
in life, and I would like totake full credit for that, but I
know it was through the grace ofGod that we got to where we
were.
Mm-hmm.
(34:27):
And I love, I love your devotionto the Lord, and you are an
inspiration.
'cause I'll be like, well,Felicia and Zach are going to
church, but we probably betterget up and go to church too.
Mm-hmm.
The good news, gossip is foundedon this Bible story of the woman
at the well who was with.
(34:48):
However many men.
A lot.
A lot of men.
That's what I feel like reflectsme the most.
'cause I have come from the sametwo failed marriages.
I just feel like we got divorcedon the same day on our second
marriage actually.
Oh my God.
I'm sorry.
Say that.
Well, I'm, I mean, it, I thinkit's really cool that that
happened.
(35:08):
But in all, in all, likehonesty, the woman at the well,
he said, go and send no more.
And when she knew that that wasthe Lord, the the prophet.
Himself.
She could not shut up.
(35:28):
She went and told like,everybody in town, this guy
right here, he's legit.
He's the one you need to betalking to.
Mm-hmm.
And he, and he went and hestayed there, I think for like
three days in the town.
And everybody was like, oh, thisguy's like the guy.
This is Jesus.
This is Jesus.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
So good news, gossip.
That's what we're about.
(35:49):
We are.
Telling these stories becausethat is what we're instructed to
do.
Go send no more.
Tell everybody you can.
Yeah.
About me.
You think in your life, oh, thisgood thing happened to me, this
bad thing happened over here,but this good thing happened to
me.
And you forget that the goodthings that happened to your are
by the grace of God and throughhis love.
(36:11):
In the, in the Bible story, shesays, he told me everything that
I've done.
He knows everything.
Got every hair on her head.
Yeah.
And all the bad things thathappened.
I just wanna clarify this'causeI, this steers people away from
God a lot is like, well if God'sreal, why did his bad stuff
happen?
God doesn't bring the bad stuff.
We live in a, a fall he world, Ihave told you all your life or
(36:34):
most of your adult life, he didnot give us a spirit of fear.
He didn't give us a spirit ofanxiety.
He didn't give us a spirit ofworry.
You know, like it, God has neverlet me down.
Period.
Thank you for having me.
I, actually feel like we've hadquite a huge devotional here
today, and I'm gonna walk outtahere feeling really good.
So, amen.
I knew you would tell your storyand feel better and it would be
(36:58):
a release of hurt that you'veheld onto, I think.
Sure.
That, and this is gonna help.
A lot of people I want, I hopeso.
This is, I keep talking aboutwhat the podcast is about and
for, but that's really importantis to help, I hope one person
(37:18):
hears my story and says, that'sI've, I've had that in my life.
And I know I'm still herebecause God has a plan for me,
and I've always known all mylife that God had bigger things
for me and still has biggerthings for me.
I don't think my, my story's notfinished.
Amen.
So preach it, sister.
All right guys.
(37:39):
I'm out.
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
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