June 17, 2025 • 56 mins
Have you ever felt the call to foster children? Well, In this episode you will hear how foster care has impacted the life of our guest, Joe Snyder, and learn about all the different ways you can get involved in the ministry of foster care.
Here is a list of the resources we talked about in today's episode:
100 Families 100 Families
Project Zero Home | Project Zero
Here is how you can directly get in contact with Joe Snyder if you are looking for more information on getting started as a foster parent:
snyder@abcfm.org
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
Welcome back a news gossipers.
(00:21):
Before we dive deeper intotoday's conversation with our
guest who has spent nearly 10years in foster care services, I
wanted to take a moment toactually reflect on what the
Bible says about foster care.
Now, the term foster care itdoesn't specifically appear in
scripture, but the heart behindit, caring for the fatherless,
(00:44):
the vulnerable, the lonely isall over the Bible.
Let's start with one of theclearest passages in James 1 27
Religion that God our fatheraccepts as pure and faultless is
this to look after orphans andwidows in their distress and
keep oneself from being pollutedby the world.
(01:06):
This verse lays it out plain.
If we say we follow God, we arecalled to care for those who are
vulnerable, especially childrenwithout stable families.
And here's another powerfulreminder of God's character,
Psalm 68, 5 and six, A father ofa fatherless and a judge of the
widows.
Is God in his holy habitation?
(01:26):
God settle with the solitary andfamilies.
That part right there.
God.
Settle with the solitary andfamilies.
It speaks directly to whatfoster care is about, creating a
home for those who feel alone,giving them a place to belong.
And listen to this call tojustice.
Isaiah one 17.
Learn to do well.
(01:47):
Seek judgment, relieve theoppressed.
Judge.
The fatherless plead for thewidow, foster care workers,
families, and advocates.
What you're doing is pleadingfor the fatherless.
You're showing up in theirdefense just like God commands,
And for those who open theirhearts and their homes.
Romans 12, 13.
(02:07):
Share with the Lord's people whoare in need.
Practice hospitality.
Hospitality in the biblicalsense isn't just hosting dinner
parties.
It's about welcoming thestranger, creating space for
someone who's in need, even ifit's uncomfortable or
inconvenient.
Let's not forget, we too areadopted.
Romans eight 15.
(02:28):
The spirit you receive does notmake you slaves so that you live
in fear again.
Rather the spirit you receivedbrought about your adoption to
sonship and by him we cry, AbbaFather.
God himself adopted us into hisfamily.
When foster parents or familiesbring a child into their home,
(02:49):
they are mirroring that divineadoption story.
so if you're listening today.
And you ever wondered if fostercare is a calling that aligns
with Christians?
I believe the Bible gives asound.
Yes.
It's not just social work, it'skingdom work.
And with that, let's bring inour guests who has almost had 10
(03:11):
years experience and foster careservices.
We got Joe Snyder.
He, is who me and my husband'sreached out to do foster care.
He's a great guy.
And so once we talked to him,and then we started the podcast,
I was like, you know what?
More people need to be able totalk to him, get the information
that we've gotten, and, justhear what Joe Snider has to say.
(03:34):
He's, has foster care carechildren that he's adopted as
well, and he's, in a, i, I don'tremember the organization.
That's okay.
So he'll let you know more aboutthat, but we're so glad that
he's in here today.
Hey, thanks for letting me behere, guys.
You're welcome.
Yeah, it was kind of funnybecause we were just, we text
(03:55):
ideas back and forth, we're bothkind of a DHD and she was like,
I just really feel like we needto have someone on about foster
care.
I literally just talked to, myson's, father's mother, we in
casa.
Okay.
Or Yeah, yeah.
Is that it?
But I asked her about being onand she was like, I don't work
there anymore.
So yeah, it worked out.
It was a God thing.
(04:15):
Like That's awesome.
Just we needed to talk aboutfoster care.
That's awesome.
Well, and you know, foster care,so much of it is just hidden
because we can't share names ofthe children.
We can't share their images ortheir specific stories, and
that's how it should be.
But then it just, it goes like ahidden world that people, they
interface with all the time.
(04:36):
They don't know that they are,and then they don't realize like
how normal this is, how commonit is.
And how big the need is becauseyou literally can't share those
stories, freely.
So thank you guys for using yourplatform to do that.
Of course.
It's also something close tohome for me.
(04:57):
I watched my mom go throughbeing a social worker.
And it took a toll.
Yeah.
So I can only imagine not justfor like the kids, obviously
that's the most important thing,but like the adults surrounding
the situation, it's, you guysare doing such good work.
It's very heavy.
And you saw this with your mom.
Mm-hmm.
Where every single client youserve, every single person you
(05:20):
meet, their story is alreadybroken.
Right.
And we saw Christ do this allthroughout the gospels.
And we see God through this, dothis throughout the entire book,
you go into the brokenness andthere's no way to fix it.
Right.
I was talking with a fosterparent last night who, has a
(05:41):
little boy and was, he wasstruggling with some of his
emotions and different thingsand just asking for some tips.
And one of the things I thinkshe needed to hear is there's
not a way to fix the situation.
We want to provide comfort, wewant to help him process, but
like we, there's no magic thingto say to take away that pain
and every single person your momworked with, that was the story.
(06:04):
Mm-hmm.
Now, praise God, it doesn't stopthere.
Right.
You know, like Jesus is, isabout redemption in every
situation and that is possible.
But it can be incredibly heavyand it can be a lot, you know,
there's no way, to do this andnot let it affect you.
Like I see some social workers,like government workers
specifically, that are able tocompartmentalize.
(06:27):
Or at least they seem like theycan, I have no idea how they do
it.
Right.
Like when God has called you tothis, it is your whole self.
Mm-hmm.
And it, it can really take atoll, but it's, it's so
beautiful.
Yeah, it is.
It's to me, it's definitely justshows exactly what Christ did
for us and how, you know, we'readopted children of his and so
(06:49):
there's so much help just fromthe Bible for families in foster
care.
And we're thankful that, you area believer and that you're
helping so many kids and otherpeople like, use lean on Jesus,
through each other, theirsituations.
Absolutely.
And you know, we, we have a lotof families in, in Arkansas that
this isn't just something theywant to do.
(07:12):
It's not just a humanitarianeffort.
It is also what we've beencommanded to do by the gospel.
Amen.
So you approach it totallydifferently.
Where, you know, when things gethard, you don't want to escape
that this is the mission.
Right.
And we have a lot of familiesthat this is kind of their
first, step into a sacrificialservice mission like that.
(07:39):
And, you know, you find out realquick like, oh, this is a
sacrifice.
Mm-hmm.
This is really hard, but this iswhat God has called me to.
And when you, you know, theBible tells us, just count it
all joy when you experiencesufferings of many kinds.
And when you have those times,this is really hard.
It's easy to say this now inthis podcast in a very
(08:00):
comfortable chair, but you know,at three in the morning when the
kid still hasn't gone to sleepand you know, things are very
difficult.
If in that moment we can bereminded like I am in this
difficult situation because Iobeyed God and he's allowed me
to serve as part of hisredemption story in this child's
life.
And right now is a terrible,difficult time, and I'm gonna be
(08:23):
so glad when I'm over it.
But I'm here because I wasobedient.
So the goal for foster care isreunification.
And that's not just the goal weall adopt, but that's the legal
goal of every single case.
When they come in and they havea couple court dates to say
like, where are we in removingthe children and then they
establish a case plan, whatneeds to happen?
And in the case of a sexualabuser, they're not going to
(08:45):
reunite that child with thatperson, but they want to reunite
them with their family.
And about 70% of time in thestate of Arkansas, children are
able to go back home.
It's not always the case.
Yeah.
But that is our goal and that'sone of the hardest things for us
to celebrate publicly.
(09:05):
Let me say it that way.
We celebrate, like when you talkto our caseworkers and our
staff, like those are the times.
It's like, okay, God is workinghere.
This is awesome.
But the how to capture that andmake that available for a larger
audience where they canunderstand this beautiful thing
of reunification, when what'sright for the family, what helps
(09:28):
them have dignity is for them tojust move on.
Like, we don't wanna spotlightthem in a way, like, let's let
them this be behind them, youknow, and move forward to
hundred percent greener pasture.
So it's a very difficult thing.
Where, adoption is also anincredibly beautiful thing.
My wife and I have adopted fourdaughters, and that's easy to
celebrate because I now havelegal permission to share their
(09:50):
face and their name and theirstory.
And while there is brokenness,that brokenness isn't with this
family now.
So it's a little easier to sharewhile maintaining dignity.
We're really good at that.
There's some friends withProject Zero out of Little Rock,
and they do an incredible jobhighlighting adoptions, the need
for adoptions, and thencelebrating those.
(10:12):
And reunification, it's, that'sthe question that's been on my
mind this week is how do wecelebrate it in a way where
people understand that this is abeautiful thing.
Yeah.
I want to hear like yourquestions, since you're kind of
totally new to a lot of this.
Like I've had a lot ofconversations with Rail and with
charity, but, I want to knowlike what questions you have
(10:32):
because in my job this would bevery helpful, but one of the
things we hear a lot is whenpeople say, oh, I couldn't do
that.
I would get too attached.
Right.
Which, that's so, yeah.
Yeah.
And for you, if that's what youwere gonna say, or if anybody's
listening to this, then that's,that is totally okay.
I understand that.
Yeah.
Um, and what I try to tellpeople is like that, that's
(10:54):
exactly how you should be.
Mm-hmm.
If you are devastated when thischild goes home, what that means
is you serve them with yourentire heart.
And you held nothing back.
And you, you are a parent for aseason, right?
So when, when you have childrenborn to you, you are, you're
(11:17):
able to make every decisionoutside of my wife.
No one else really has to giveme permission to do what, what I
think is best for my kids.
Well, when you're a fosterparent, there's a team and you
are not allowed to make, likethe decision for the child to go
back home doesn't always fall toyou.
And even if you disagree, thatdecision's still being made.
(11:38):
So if you are brokenhearted,what that means is you love this
child tremendously.
You have loved them really well.
You had said like earlier, like,no matter how long they're with
you.
We have children that'll be in ahome for 24 hours.
We have children that'll be inhomes for multiple years.
Yeah.
And that is that sacrificial.
Like, I can't avoid this if I'mgoing to be obedient.
(12:03):
And it's, it's a beautiful, itis very hard, but it is also a
beautiful thing.
So when you say like, I wouldget too attached, I'm trying to
get people to understand like,oh, that's a good thing.
That's how it should be.
Right?
Well, so I personally, Iprobably would get really
attached and as you said, that'sa good thing.
But I've also, I've done severaldifferent, jobs in my life and
(12:26):
daycare worker seeing fosterkids a lot.
I've, I've kind of experiencedthat love and that attachment
already.
Yeah.
My husband's the one who islike, I don't think you can do
it.
I was like, I don't know.
Maybe.
But yeah, I don't know.
I do, I have felt that calling.
Before we, we struggled to haveour, second child or my second
(12:46):
child and I was like, you know,maybe we just foster and that's
just something that I wouldstill consider and still would
love to do.
Yeah.
But, we both have to be on thesame page.
No, I understand.
One, one of the things I loveabout the organization I work
for now, is connected families.
We're part of Arkansas BaptistChildren and Family Ministries.
(13:09):
I know I just said a lot ofwords.
We recorded it.
So that's what I want you toremember is connected families.
Okay.
Now, one thing that I love aboutthat is we want people to first
and foremost obey God inwhatever he's calling you to do.
So praise God.
I do not have to be a salesman.
(13:29):
I'm not good at it.
I tried to sell servers forHewlett Packard for a while.
I'm terrible at it.
But.
It.
So I'm not gonna try to convinceyou to do anything, but if God
is calling you to do something,we want to help empower you to
do it.
And you know, there's a lot ofinquiry meetings.
We have the inquiry meetingswhen someone is wanting to know
more before signing up.
(13:51):
So we sit down and we talk aslong as they need to talk.
And there's a lot of times we'llhave that conversation and we'll
defer them to anotherorganization because we truly
think that's better for them.
One thing I love about connectedis we start with what is God
calling you to do?
They are families.
God is calling specifically toadoption.
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And if that's the case, there'sno need to apologize for that.
There are also families that arecalled to foster care.
Okay?
Let's help you do that if youdon't know.
Okay, let's do both.
Like, that's fine.
Mm-hmm.
You know, we have families thatcome in and that part of the
process is you have like apreferences checklist.
It's a really long list of.
(14:33):
All the different things you,you could provide for and things
you could not.
So it's you know, children'sage, their demographics,
everything from gender to someof the behaviors we've seen, if
they have special needs,anything like that.
And we have families that comein and they just draw a line
through Yes.
On every single thing.
(14:53):
And part of me is like somehesitancy, like, Hey, I want you
to pray about that a little bit.
And then we have other familiesthat know exactly like this is
what God is calling us to andpraise God for them.
You know, we have fosterfamilies that specialize in,
children who've been exposed tosubstances.
We have foster families thatspecialize in medically fragile
(15:14):
children.
So just starting with that, whatis God calling you to do?
Because this is a huge need andwe must all do something to
help.
So we're currently sitting, Icall this Searcy I know it's
kin, it's Yeah, but it's cce,right?
Like it's Searcy Yeah, it allcounts.
I truly think that this area canbe, the, the case study for
(15:39):
doing this, right?
Um, every organization inArkansas is represented here in
Searcy Um, it seems that way.
That might not be true.
Please don't Google it.
Um, because who knows?
But what I can tell you isthere's a lot, there are a lot
of people here working togetherto do this, right?
Like one of the things we'redoing today is we, there's a
(15:59):
pickleball tournament thatChick-fil-A has put on for a lot
of these organizations.
And let me just tell you, Ididn't realize how serious
people take pickleball.
Oh yeah.
Until last year was their firstyear to do it.
I did not understand.
We always play it for fun andlike people are showing up 20
minutes early to stretch andthey're stretching the entire
(16:20):
time.
And I'm like wanting to talk topeople about foster care,
whatever.
And you know, the, thetournament is supporting all of
these organizations.
So I'll walk up and they'relike, no.
Like I'm in the zone.
Nope.
Like, it's a level ofseriousness I've never seen.
Sorry.
That has nothing to with whereis it at?
What I'm talking about today.
They actually moved it to herein Kensett.
(16:41):
But here in Searcy lot of theseorganizations are represented
and, I think we can actuallytake care of the needs.
So what I mean by that is we'venever had enough families to
service the children.
And I think if it's going tohappen anywhere, it could here
in Circe.
Yeah.
I believe that.
(17:01):
Mm-hmm.
And we can pray for thatjointly.
Absolutely.
All our listeners, our churchesfor sure.
And I think that this willencourage, a lot of families to,
look at it.
A lot of people like look at itlike y'all said, like, oh, I
think I'll get to attach.
Well, ultimately, like, are wedoing, like, yes, some people
are called to it, but there'sthings that you can do to help
(17:22):
foster care families, even ifyou're not gonna foster.
And what are some of thosethings that people can do?
Yeah.
So like you said, not everyoneis called to open their home to
foster care.
I would like everyone to ask Godif they are though.
Amen.
You know?
'cause there's, there's timeslike, oh, that sounds really
hard.
Don't wanna do that.
Right.
Um, I want you to treat it like,am I a missionary to Hawaii
(17:45):
instead of, am I a missionary toSiberia?
Right.
And what I mean by that ispeople hear it and they're like,
ah, no, I'm not called toSiberia.
I would probably default to thattoo.
But if there's a spot open andthey're like, Hey, do you wanna
help us plan a church in Hawaii?
I'm gonna genuinely considerthat.
And if we can have that sameapproach to foster care, let's
(18:05):
start there.
Am I called to open my home?
If not, if God tells you no.
Okay, that's fine.
If we can get our churches tosee this as a ministry of the
church and not a ministry of theindividual, that's when we see
things change.
Amen.
Right.
When you guys open your home, ifthe culture is that y'all are an
(18:29):
open home and you guys are inthis ministry of foster care,
that's kind of the status quo,what we've seen so far.
Instead, if the church can rallybehind you to support you, and
there's a few really key waysthat we try to encourage people
to do this.
One of the most impactful isthere's a member of the team.
(18:52):
You know, we talked about theteam earlier.
You have caseworkers and lawyersand the foster parent and
therapists, but also there's amember of the team called the
Foster Family Support System.
Each foster family gets three ofthese.
This is great for your bestfriend, your mom, your neighbor,
the people you would call if youcould not go pick up your kids
(19:13):
from school, who would you callto get them?
That's who this is geared for.
They do a background check.
I think they check their drivingrecord, but it's pretty low
effort to be approved.
These people are allowed totransport those children and
keep them up to, I think it's 24hours.
It might have been extended.
But because these children areawards of the state, not just
(19:35):
anyone can, you know, right.
Like provide for them in thatway.
You can still have a babysitterand stuff.
But these are people that cantruly help, you know, take a
child somewhere if they need to.
If there's an emergency theycan, spend the night at their
house.
They can even get likeallowances from the state to
keep them a little longer fromthan that.
(19:55):
And that's an incredible way todo it.
We even have people now thatwe've been sharing this, who
come to us and say, we want tobe that, which family needs it.
Wow, that's awesome.
And that's been a really coolthing to see.
We started getting involved infoster care in 2016 and in the
last year is the first time I'veheard people ask that question
in that way.
(20:16):
And now don't, I don't wannascare people off if that's what
you wanna do, but those peopleare now opening their home
because they realize like, oh,we can do this.
Yeah.
That's such a good way to start.
To like, Hey, get your feet wet,but let me at least, help some.
Let me at least do something andpray about it another way.
I would encourage people tosupport, is if you have a foster
(20:39):
family in your church or youhave a friend or someone you
know, take them a meal once amonth, a hot meal, take it to
them or invite them into yourhome.
People don't like to invitelarge families into their home.
I understand my wife and I havehosted five times more than we
have been hosted because we havea bunch of children.
(21:00):
But take them a meal once amonth and before you leave, pray
over that family.
Don't just tell them you'regonna pray for them.
Like right now on the porch.
How can I pray for you and prayover them?
If you do that, you will begin arelationship where they can
share with you needs, andthey're gonna tell you, but also
(21:22):
they're gonna call you when theyneed encouragement.
They're gonna call you when.
They, they need three hours, youknow, with their husband on a
date night and they'restruggling, you know, those kind
of things.
Right.
So those are the two big thingswe're trying to encourage people
with.
That is amazing.
I'm so glad we can share that onthis podcast because I've
(21:44):
personally wanted to be involvedin some way.
Yeah.
And cooking is something, Ithink I've done that before.
I went to a church where theygave you like Tupperware.
And you just take it home andyou just fill it with the food
and you bring it, and then likeit goes to a foster family.
Yeah.
I love that.
We, we love to have churches whowill provide freezer meals.
We want all of our families tohave one meal in the freezer at
(22:06):
all times.
The reason for that is you mighthave a placement that night or
that you might have a child who,you know, as we heal our mind.
Brings forth new things we needto start dealing with.
So those are called triggers.
You might have a child thatcomes home from school and to
love them.
Well, I will not be able to cookdinner or just simply, I need to
(22:28):
focus on this child.
So let's take that, throw in theoven, focus on this child for a
while.
So we want them to always haveone, but then also just to have
the, getting a free meal isn'talways that helpful.
It can at times, you know, as aparent, like it can almost be
more work.
It's the connection and it'sbeing served.
Mm-hmm.
That's the big deal.
(22:49):
This is all really goodinformation.
'cause I do feel like themajority of people, of course,
are willing to help, but maybenot willing to necessarily take
on the responsibility of achild.
A life.
You're really, but yeah, you'reresponsible for that human life.
(23:10):
Yeah.
So, and that's a, that's a bigresponsibility.
I understand that.
One thing we try to let peopleknow, you know, we have these
meetings early in to tellpeople, like, if God is calling
you this, here's how you can,one thing that's surprising to
people is the amount of supportthat is available to foster
families.
Yes.
My mom, when she was a socialworker, she would talk about all
(23:32):
these things that she would beable to go and do for these
children.
She would take them to doctor'sappointments and there was all
these different resources andtherapy available for these
kids.
And it's, it is like a hugeundertaking.
But with all these resources andall these different ways that
(23:53):
people are helping, you'recreating a community.
Absolutely.
I don't think Hillary Clintonwas the first one to say it
takes a village.
I think that's just an oldproverb.
But it always gets subscribed toher.
But it's absolutely true andpraise God that there is a
village that exists.
So when we step into this, it'snot alone.
Not only do you have the statehelping with things from, you
(24:16):
know, like every child comesinto care is automatically
approved with insurance, so youdon't have to worry about that.
You are provided a subsidy forthem.
It's not much, but it definitelydoes help the children that are
young enough, and I don'tremember these specific age, are
automatically approved for wic.
Children that are preschool ageare given daycare and preschool
vouchers.
(24:37):
Our agency helps support in tonsof ways and we have a lot of
local agencies that do the samething.
So one thing we're always tryingto do is connect people to those
supports.
A couple of those I wouldencourage people to find out
more about.
Is 100 families.
There's a couple representativeshere in Searcy One is at
(24:58):
Sparrow's Promise, one is at,fellowship Bible.
And what they do is literallytheir job is connecting to all
the resources.
And that's not just for,families involved in foster
care, it's also biologicalfamilies that we're trying to
keep out of foster care.
So our foster families are givenall of these things.
(25:18):
All of our services are free.
There's no expense.
You know, even the childrenwe've adopted, the only charge I
know of, was a birth certificatewhen they took our last name.
Now, obviously raising a childis expensive, so there's some
out of pocket of just meals andthings, but they try to help
with that through that monthlyboard payment.
So it's way more possible thanpeople realize.
(25:41):
Mm-hmm.
100%.
I agree with that.
I mentioned Project Zero to youearlier.
They are the organization, thestate uses, to help match
waiting families with kids thatare available for adoption.
And you can go to projectzero.org and see every child in
the state who's available foradoption.
Yep.
(26:02):
Yeah, definitely get on thereand try not to cry, you know?
Absolutely.
Well, and what you'll see isyou'll see a lot of older
children, you'll see a lot ofsibling groups, and you'll see
children with special needs.
And you know, where what we needin both foster care in adoption
is we need people who arewilling to take older children
(26:22):
and sibling groups.
Those are our biggest needs.
And when you see those childrenlisted, if we can just remember,
they represent a much largergroup of children that we cannot
share their photos, share theirface.
One of the reasons why I'vetalked about this organization,
project Zero multiple times nowis they do such a great job of
(26:44):
helping connect the heart ofChrist to this need.
And one of the things we'reasking right now is, how can we
do that and do a better job ofconnecting that heart to
reunification, connecting thatheart to serving these
biological families?
Because it's not wrong withadoption, but it's much easier
to do that there.
So we need those families whocan, you know, care for those,
(27:07):
those older, more difficult toplace children.
And I was gonna say to you, Ididn't want to interrupt you.
Yeah.
But now you're crying, so I feellike I can keep talking.
God calls us to differentthings, and if your heart is
leaning more towards adoption,we don't have to apologize for
that.
There are also many fosterfamilies that when they think
about committing to a child fortheir rest of their lives, like,
(27:29):
I don't know, that seems like alot, Yeah.
so We don't have to apologizewhen God's calling us to
something.
Obedience is absolutely neverfailure.
Well, as your friend charity, Iknow that your heart and your
home is ready.
I can.
I see.
Well, the house, you know, it isgetting, but I know what you
mean.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, and you told us y'all wereremodeling a house, but then
(27:51):
I've seen like some of y'all'svideos that you put on social.
I'm like, y'all aren't justremodeling a house.
You undersold this.
Y'all are gutting a house andrebuilding it from the floor up.
My wife and I have done that acouple times.
It is so much work and it takesso long, but it's so much
cheaper and houses are soexpensive.
So, and, and it's reallyexciting just to be like, you
(28:13):
know what, like already, like,there's gonna be so many kids.
Yeah.
That's what I mean is so you canjust like be like, you know,
some days you can just be likeso ungrateful, like, oh, like
we're having to redo a house.
Like I'm so privileged to beable to have a house like that.
And look forward to all the kidsthat, are gonna be able to live
there.
(28:33):
That's beautiful.
Literally just count on me tocry for talking literally every
help.
Well, and it's true.
You are providing a physicalplace.
And when we talk about the home,it's not just the physical
place.
It's the entire thing.
And you guys are creating that,now and you're seeing that it is
not fast.
(28:54):
This takes a long time.
And there'll be children youserve that come into your home
and stay in those bedrooms thaty'all are building now that
it's, you're gonna want it to befaster.
They're healing and theirprogress.
And it is very slow.
What you're saying is, theLord's just preparing me for
more patience Absolutely.
I 100% agree with that.
(29:14):
I know that the Lord, it's gonnabe in perfect timing.
When everything works out, thechildren that are perfect for
us, we'll raise them.
And I truly believe that my wifeand I, before we were married,
we were talking about fostercare and adoption.
We both, separately just kind ofknew this was part of our
future, something we wanted todo.
(29:35):
And there's a lot of people whothink about foster care or
adoption if they cannot havechildren of their own.
And I understand that if youhave a, like we had a foster
family here in the area that hadlike nine children,
biologically, and they stillhave a heart to serve more
children.
that's very rare.
God, thank you for those people.
(29:57):
but it doesn't have to be areplacement.
Right?
Like we knew this was going tobe part of our story and we were
praying, we, were married in2008.
We didn't have our firstbiological child until 2011, but
we were praying for thechildren.
God would one day bring into ourhome.
And there was a time where werealized like, oh, they might be
(30:19):
alive now.
We started the process in 2015,opened in spring of 2016.
And you know those children who,you know, we eventually adopted
a few of them.
they were born before we weremarried.
They were alive then.
And we were praying for God toprepare us and he was preparing
us for those children.
(30:40):
We would one day meet.
And that's, it is just thosetimes when you're reminded that.
God sees things we don't.
He's ordaining these things.
So that when this brokennesshappened and these children
needed a family, we wereavailable.
And prepared.
Amen.
What a good story.
What a beautiful story.
I love that.
So how many kids do you havetotal?
(31:01):
That's a hard question toanswer.
We had someone over for dinnerlast night and anytime we try to
tell who our children are, howmany, it's what order do I go
in?
Do I go in the order of theirage or when they came into our
home or, you know, it, that'sjust confusing.
So I'm just gonna to keep itsimple.
we have seven children.
(31:22):
from 26 down to five.
Our oldest daughter lives inSavannah.
We have a 4-year-oldgranddaughter named Sophia.
we love them so very much Ican't even say the process'cause
there's so many different ones.
We have three children born tous.
We've adopted four children.
Our oldest daughter we neverlegally adopted.
And if she desired that, wewouldn't have a problem with
(31:43):
that.
But it didn't, she came into ourhome when she was 19.
And in all of the stories, it'sso difficult to explain because
it's non-normative.
but what we like to say is thatGod has completely redefined the
word family.
For us, it, the definition isway more cloudy, but we
understand it so much better.
(32:04):
And because I think we've allnow seen the people who are
truly family to us, that we arenot related to at all.
And really the only differencein some senses is that that
happened with children, thatneeded a place to go and they
couldn't have made that happenon their own.
So we've adopted three fromfoster care.
(32:25):
Here in Arkansas and, we havethree biological children.
One of the things I hear a lotis people worry about their
biological children if they openinto care, which is
understandable.
There's part of our training islike how to keep yourself safe
from different things.
Right.
Just to be smart, because everyone of these children have
(32:47):
experienced some kind of abuseor neglect.
That doesn't mean they will,but, we wanna be smart.
what I've seen with mybiological children is they've
lived this normal and, you know,last night as we're telling this
story, my oldest son is 13.
He's a very mature 13.
(33:07):
And seeing the way he would loveon, little brother who's come to
us through foster care.
Is absolutely beautiful.
And seeing the way my childrenunderstand family mm-hmm.
Is so different.
We fostered a little boy forabout a year and he ended up
going back home and it was thattime when it's like, I'm
(33:29):
devastated.
I did not agree at the time thathe should have gone back home,
but the biological family hasthat right.
Like they deserve to this.
so he goes back home, but thefirst Christmas he was with us
Milo, or 13-year-old, he gotlike a punching bag for
Christmas and it's the kind thatlike inflates and there's a
heavy weight on the bottom andit like, looks like a boxer and
(33:53):
my logos, you know, unwraps itand starts punching it.
And this little boy has acomplete panic attack.
Yeah.
And I don't know, but I wouldassume he's seen things like
this.
And my son, who at the time waslike five or six.
It's just like, okay, that'sfine.
Let's put that back in the box.
(34:15):
Mom and dad.
Y'all gimme something else.
Right?
Like, I'm gonna double checkthat.
Yeah.
But he had no problem.
Like, I will let go of myChristmas gift because this is
hurting you.
Wow.
And that's something, you know,a brother does.
So what I take away from that isif you're a parent already and
you have biological children andyou wanna bring foster kids in
(34:36):
your home not to worry as muchabout that.
Absolutely.
Because it can open your kids upto loving people more.
I mean, it's the same thing ifyou serve in your church or you
serve at a soup kitchen.
You serve on mission, you go onmission trips, any example like
that, and your children go withyou, they get to see this.
They get to be, they get to takepart in this.
(34:58):
They are believers in Christ andthey are ministers of the
gospel.
Amen.
I want to raise them to do this.
Now again, that doesn't meanthere's never anything to worry
about, but it's not somethingthat should hold you back.
Like it's the same thing withbirth order.
People are always so worriedabout disrupting birth order and
I'm like, guys, it's not worse.
(35:20):
Like if you, like my son, myyoungest son, he's six, he's
been the baby his entire life.
If we had another baby thatwould be very difficult for him
disrupting birth order in thatway.
But no one ever worries aboutthat.
we've done it all where theoldest was no longer the oldest.
That's happened a couple times.
And then there were childrenplaced in the middle and then a
(35:40):
baby boy, there's a lot.
But if God is calling you to dothis, what he's promised us in
James is that any suffering weexperience will produce
endurance and produce hope.
so, I'm going to be okay withsome of that.
Mm-hmm.
Like that's a very good reason.
To have suffering.
Yeah.
100%.
100%.
(36:01):
I agree.
And he'll also bring you throughand he won't give you more than
you can handle.
And you're gonna see thefulfilling of his promise.
Yeah.
Well, and I think the way, if Ican get a little theological for
a second, I think the way peoplehave been taught that phrase of
God's not gonna give you morethan you can handle, they
understand it in a theologicallyincorrect way.
(36:23):
Mm-hmm.
And they think of it like, okay,he's not gonna put me through
something that will destroy me.
Yeah.
He will.
Right.
he wants to put you in thingswhere it will destroy you unless
you are walking closely withhim.
Amen.
He's called me to be foster careor no.
So it's like he'll never put methrough something.
He and I can't handle, or reallyhe can't handle, and I'm just
(36:45):
kind of along for the ride.
You know, like you're pray andwe see families who step into
this and they get to that momentand it's kind of the first time
they've ever been in that placewhere your prayer shifts from,
God help me do this to God.
I cannot do this.
Please just take care of it.
If you don't do this, we will bedestroyed.
(37:06):
And that is, you know, when ourrelationship with the father is
purist, but also like, if I'mnot getting to that point, what
am I not doing for the gospel?
What opportunities have I leftbecause I was afraid or I wanted
to be comfortable, or whateverit may be.
That I don't think the phrase isbad.
I just think a lot of people,how people perceive it and how
(37:29):
they understand it, and liketheir definition of it today is
not the actual definition.
Yeah.
I mean, when you get crushed bysomething and you're thinking,
well, I thought you weren'tsupposed to gimme more than I
could handle.
Well yeah.
But we're gonna do thistogether.
Absolutely.
You know, God wants us to get tothat point where we must depend
on him.
And hopefully that's short ofour destruction.
It's not always.
(37:50):
The Bible promises us that itsays when you encounter
persecution many times, not if.
And if we are following him in apure, honest way, we will
experience, persecution andthere's times it's almost like
I'm validated, you know?
It's like, okay, I'm reallydoing this because I'm being
persecuted.
(38:11):
So it's like, should I be happyabout this?
But got all his joy, right?
Absolutely.
I'm doing my best God.
But this is hard, you know, andI'm gonna praise you in the
middle of it.
So I wanna shift gears just alittle bit.
Okay.
I'm so, so glad.
I'm sure we'll pick back up onfoster care at some point, but,
the point of this podcast isreally to get down to like the,
(38:34):
the worst of the worst momentsyou probably ever had in your
life, and how God led you out ofthat, what your testimony is.
You're like, what you'recomfortable sharing, obviously,
but Yeah, just what, how Godsaved you basically.
the running theme it seems is Ikeep getting in these moments
(38:57):
where you have to say, am I.
Truly going, do I truly believethis?
Am I truly going to follow Godor not?
And unfortunately that's been intimes where people I was very
close with chose not.
And I had to choose, am I trulygonna stay on this path when it
will cost me things that aredear friendships, relationships
(39:20):
with family.
And that's kind of been thethrough line.
Praise God, my wife entered thepicture and we've been able to
do that together, many times.
And she's never made me ask thatquestion.
And I pray I never make her askthat question.
I came to understand salvationat an early age.
I love trivia.
Like I love nothing more than agood quiz bowl tournament.
(39:41):
it is truly my favorite thing.
I've won the Harry Potter triviaon both cruises I've been on,
and, my wife makes fun of me forit all the time, even though I
know she's very proud.
She also makes fun of me,because there's like groups of
eight people and it's just meand her and she's not helping.
Right.
So I love trivia and as a kid wewould study scripture and they
(40:04):
would do like bible quiz bowl atmy church and I dominated.
I love that.
I mean, people say they peakedin high school.
I peaked during quiz Olympicswhen I was in third grade.
Great.
I came to know Christ at anearly age.
I'd heard that prayer.
You might've heard it.
Like, now I lay down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
And then you get to that superscary thing for no reason if I
(40:27):
should die before I wake.
Yeah.
And I would, the way we weretaught is we would pray that,
and then we would continuepraying.
And I legitimately thoughtpeople just died all the time in
their sleep.
And especially as a kid, youhear about people who passed
unless they, well, they diedpeacefully in their sleep.
And so it was just like a rollof the dos to me as this kid.
(40:48):
And it really made me realizelike, oh, I, this is reality.
So one night, you know, I'vebeen scared about this enough,
and I finally just, I knew whatto do.
God, you have forgiven me.
I am a sinner.
I cannot do this on my own.
And, you know, I, I begin mybelief then, and it frustrated
(41:09):
my parents because I didn't tellthem, you know, it was like a
couple days later and in my mindit's like, what?
Why did I need to come get you?
You know?
And as a parent, now Iunderstand.
I want to hear my children'sprayers.
So that I can remind them intimes when they are doubting,
like, no, I heard your heart.
I knew what you were saying.
Yeah.
(41:29):
But I was like, I knew what todo and I did it.
You know, like I didn't know.
So that's where it began.
But you know that I didn't beginfollowing Jesus then.
Yeah.
You know, when you're young,that's just hard.
So I was about 14 when I trulydecided to follow him with my
life.
Yeah.
And in that time, you know,you're in a small town in
(41:50):
Arkansas.
I grew up in Cave City justnorth of Batesville Like I tell
people I'm from Batesville.
'cause you are from both.
Yeah.
Right.
So I grew up there, small town,small church, and in senior high
I was 15 when news broke that,you know, really made, everyone
in my family asked thatquestion, are we truly going to
(42:10):
be.
Are we truly gonna followChrist?
Are we truly going to embracethe suffering?
some of my family chose no.
And my sister and I, very muchsaid yes, and there were
definitely some other spots onthe spectrum on that.
it isolated us in a lot of waysfrom family and in our church
and it was so incrediblydifficult.
(42:32):
Um, but he used that to refineus.
Um, I had met Lindsey, my wife,at a church camp, when we were
kids.
I was 17, she was 16 orsomething like that.
She's our family memory, so shewill absolutely tell me I'm
wrong.
we had dated for a few yearsand, our families had kind of
(42:53):
dissolved and broken indifferent ways and we knew we
were gonna be getting married.
So we got married very young.
I was.
20.
She was 18 when we were married.
There's nothing easy aboutgetting married young.
it was, okay, let's galvanizeourselves together and follow
Jesus together.
It was very difficult.
I graduated in 2006, the fall of2006 was one of the worst times
(43:16):
of my life.
I was trying to go to seminaryand I had a lot of people and
some family that did not thinkthat was a good idea.
UCA was planning on giving me alot of money to go to school, so
I was like, okay, I'll do both.
I'll get a degree and somethingjust to appease people and I'll
also go to seminary.
I tried to do both and it justwas not possible.
(43:38):
It's just too much.
In the fall of 2006, my unclepasses, my grandfather passes.
All of my teachers think I'mmaking this up.
You know?
'cause it's like the first monthof school.
There just kept being morethings.
it was this time in my life whenI am back on.
I'm not on the straight andnarrow.
I'm back on the boulevard and Iam destroying the things I want
(44:03):
to do.
so I had a freak out moment, butjust this moment of like, if I
don't change things, then allthat I'm desiring and the path
God has and what I've signed upfor, I'm saying no to all of
that.
So I did a bunch of dumb stuffand I tried to take a break from
Lindsay at the time.
(44:24):
It's unclear to me if I dumpedher or if we were taking a
break.
I don't know.
I've never watched friends, butshe's quoted that meme all the
time.
And it was seriously just likethis moment of like, I am
ruining my life and hers.
Yeah.
And if I'm not willing to committo her forever, then what am I
doing?
It was beautiful how God pursuedme in that time.
(44:45):
You know, when you feel theweight of your sin, it forces
you to simultaneously seeyourself as a rich and also
praise God for his goodness.
Every time in scripture, whensomeone gets to see the heavenly
realm or gets to see God face toface or hear his voice, they
(45:05):
fall to their needs.
And shame and praise God that weget to do that same thing.
So I dropped out of UCA, I wasin the u c's honors program for
one semester.
And when you have to talk to somany people to drop out of
school when you have certainscholarships and stuff, I have
(45:26):
talked to like five differentpeople to drop out and they all
think I'm crazy and just tellingme this is the most
irresponsible thing ever.
And as I'm walking off ofcampus, they had the new signs,
they had these like lot posts,and these little signs that say
different things.
And it was advertising thehonors program and it was like a
(45:47):
99.7% graduation rate as I justdropped out.
it was kind of just comical.
It was like, okay, I'm not astatistic.
Yeah.
Praise God.
I started in youth ministry in2008 in Benton, and then God had
moved us down south of PondBluff for a while.
then we went to help a church inConway in, 2014.
Young Church was just plantedand we served there for a very,
(46:10):
very long time.
church planting's not easy and,there's so many beautiful
things.
what we've tried to do is pursueGod in a pure, honest way.
Invite other people to do that.
You read in Acts chapter two,they were gathering in the
temple together.
They were meeting in homes.
(46:31):
They were devoting themselves tothe apostles teaching and to
prayers.
All of this they're doing withpeople.
And, you know, as we were tryingto refine that down, what does
this mean?
What does that mean?
Keep refining it down.
We got to the three words,enjoying Jesus together, and
that's.
What my wife and I want to do,let's invite other people to
enjoy Jesus with us.
(46:52):
Amen.
I think it was John Piper thattook the old phrase, the phrase
was, the chief end of man is toworship God and enjoy him
together.
And John Piper tweaks that.
He says, the chief end of man isto worship God by enjoying him
together.
So early in my life where it wasa knowledge that I needed
(47:17):
salvation, like what led me torepentance was my fear of hell.
But my, where I am now is I wantto be close to Jesus.
And you know, my fear of hell isless about like, we've made such
a big deal out of burning andtorment.
(47:37):
My fear of hell is that I'mgonna be cut off from God.
And you know, the good news, thegospel.
Well, the name of y'all'spodcast is the Gossip Gospel.
Good news.
Gossip.
Okay.
It's literally on the wall.
If I could read the writing offthe wall.
Um, sorry.
The good news gossip.
The good news that Jesusproclaimed, um, if you read his
(47:58):
words, is that the kingdom ofGod is at hand.
So if there's gonna be a daywhen I can be in full fellowship
with God, full knowledge of God,that kingdom is here now, and I
can do that now.
Mm-hmm.
And I just want to live a lifewhere I can experience God now.
Amen.
And when you do, like, when youget to do that, it is a
(48:21):
beautiful thing.
And I really just languish thefact that so many believers have
never truly experienced God inthat way.
Right.
Know they haven't.
Yeah.
I've seen it.
Do we have time for me to sharea story with y'all?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know how long y'all'spodcast we're 55 minutes right
now.
But you got all time.
I'll try, I'll try to be quick.
(48:41):
when you try to get people tounderstand the ministry of
foster care It is a ministry ofthe gospel.
Many of these children, it canbe the first time they see
genuine followers of Christ.
in talking with you now, I thinkwe can say in an honest way,
there are people who arebelievers who have never
followed Jesus.
And to me there's a difference.
(49:02):
There was a Kyle Ottoman bookback in the day called, not a
Fan that I love.
There is a difference betweenbelievers and followers and my
family.
We are followers of Jesus.
You don't have to be a followerof Jesus to be loved by us, to
be in our family, but that's whowe are.
So back in the eighties, there'sa girl in Little Rock named
(49:23):
Tammy.
Tammy comes from a very abusivefamily.
A family that many of them hadprofessed knowledge of Christ.
And, you know, from the outsidelooking in, that's what they
would profess.
But clearly that's not howthey're living.
And there's a lot of abusebecause of this.
She comes into foster care andwhen you're a teenage girl in
(49:46):
foster care, you can really getrun through the mill.
You can bounce from house tohouse really easy.
Tammy definitely, had somebehavior things she, had, you
know, there, there's times whenthere's reasons why kids have
bounced, but also, praise Godfor the families that will stick
with'em.
So Tammy finds herself, in thehome of Jim and Mary La Moya.
(50:09):
Jim and Mary are followers ofJesus and Tammy's only in this
home for about six months, andit's the first time she's ever
seen Christians who truly likewhat it looks like in the house
when the doors are closed.
That's what it looks like outthere too.
It was the first time she saw ahusband.
Love his wife the way God hascommanded.
(50:32):
You know, in Ephesians that wequote all the time, love your
wife the way I've loved thechurch.
It's the first time she's everseen that.
So Tammy, shortly after findsherself pregnant, and I could
get some specifics wrong.
I don't know if it's because thebaby was coming in, but she was
only able to stay with the LaMoya family for about six
(50:52):
months.
In that six months she saw thegospel on display.
She moves forward with the restof her life.
she has a couple more children.
She marries a man that's prettyabusive.
But she knows about the gospel.
She's, she knows about theBible.
She's heard it taught, and sheremembers the testimony of Jim
and Mary, not just what theysaid, but what she got to see
(51:14):
the witness.
It's that example that leads herto repentance and leads her to
following Jesus.
she has some time when her kidsare, young to young teenagers
where following Jesus is prettymessy and there's repentance
and, regression and all thatnormal life kind of stuff.
And, moves forward and is tryingto follow God.
(51:38):
Her first marriage fails.
She marries another man, that isa man of God and they are
pursuing Jesus together.
And because of the testimonythat she saw with Jim and Mary,
the abuse that happened in herhome with her first husband was
not okay.
And we're gonna eliminate that.
(52:01):
Tammy is leading our children.
To understand God.
And to serve him with theirlives and to be a loving mother.
Even though, Tammy's far fromperfect, I can tell you she's an
incredible loving mother.
So you talk about the long-termimpact and the breaking of the
cycle.
The reason I'm telling you thisstory is because Tammy is
(52:22):
Lindsay's mom.
And not only was Lindsay not infoster care, but my children who
have experienced that, that kindof abuse and neglect, who, have
seen foster care, you know, fromthe sibling side and from, you
know, I am in foster caremyself.
Like both of those views, theyonly know a grandmother that
(52:42):
loves them incredibly well.
Who loves Jesus and can almostget on your nerves with how much
she's talking about the gospel.
Like, you know, Paul says, Ichose to know nothing else but
Jesus.
And him crucified.
Tammy's one of those people,she's constantly talking about
what God says about thesethings, and that is the
(53:03):
testimony of her life.
What will be remembered abouther is not her time in care, not
the abuse that happened to her.
And, you know, give glory to Godthat the cycle is broken.
Mm-hmm.
And not only was her daughterable to love children in the
same way that Jim and Mary did,but her grandchildren will never
(53:23):
know anything different.
And that's, wow.
What a beautiful story.
That's not just what foster caredoes, that's what Jesus can do.
Mm-hmm.
Through followers who choosethis as their ministry.
What a like one little seed,little, I mean, six months, a
seed planted that just, youknow, we, it's there.
(53:44):
So we're hoping that, thispodcast planted a whole lot of
seeds.
There is so much, biblicalthings talked about, and our
hearts just, opened up and wehope that our listeners just
open up their hearts and canpray about this and maybe we
can, reach that goal of havingenough foster care families for
the amount of kids that are infoster care.
Can I give a quick, avenue forpeople?
(54:05):
Yeah.
I was gonna ask you do, ifpeople are interested.
One thing I love to do, I toldyou and Elle this when we met
that day.
I don't remember where we atelunch, but it house was so good.
Greek house, sorry, that's notthe lead line here.
Um, it just reminded me.
Okay.
Um, one thing I love to do, myfavorite part of my job is
sitting down with people who areconsidering this and just, hey,
(54:28):
any question you have, let'stalk through it.
if someone who's listening tothis wants to learn more and
you're in anywhere in Arkansas,reach out to me.
You can find me.
S-N-Y-D-E r@abcm.org.
You can find me on Facebook andother things, but send me a
message there.
I would love to get connectedwith them.
(54:49):
And, you know, again, that's ourgoal is if God is calling this
to you, calling you to this.
I service kind of northeastArkansas.
I'm in CCE all the time, so it'snever a problem to drive in.
I'm driving in once or twice aweek.
there's some other people likeme in the state that if you're
in Southeast Arkansas orsomewhere else, I can point you
to somebody closer or we canjump on a Zoom call or I'll
(55:10):
drive down.
That's totally fine.
We'll figure it out.
But don't, I don't want peopleto just assume like the whole,
like, I'm not a missionary toSiberia.
Truly consider this and praythrough it.
Amen.
I love it.
And I'll put, all thesedifferent organizations and
things that you talked about inthe show notes.
Oh, that's great.
So everybody can just click andgo.
(55:30):
But yeah, I appreciate yourtime.
This episode has been such ablessing.
I'm so blessed by what God'sdoing.
Thank you guys for invite me andthis is really cool.
Awesome.
Thank you.
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
(55:52):
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
Welcome back a news gossipers.
(00:21):
Before we dive deeper intotoday's conversation with our
guest who has spent nearly 10years in foster care services, I
wanted to take a moment toactually reflect on what the
Bible says about foster care.
Now, the term foster care itdoesn't specifically appear in
scripture, but the heart behindit, caring for the fatherless,
(00:44):
the vulnerable, the lonely isall over the Bible.
Let's start with one of theclearest passages in James 1 27
Religion that God our fatheraccepts as pure and faultless is
this to look after orphans andwidows in their distress and
keep oneself from being pollutedby the world.
(01:06):
This verse lays it out plain.
If we say we follow God, we arecalled to care for those who are
vulnerable, especially childrenwithout stable families.
And here's another powerfulreminder of God's character,
Psalm 68, 5 and six, A father ofa fatherless and a judge of the
widows.
Is God in his holy habitation?
(01:26):
God settle with the solitary andfamilies.
That part right there.
God.
Settle with the solitary andfamilies.
It speaks directly to whatfoster care is about, creating a
home for those who feel alone,giving them a place to belong.
And listen to this call tojustice.
Isaiah one 17.
Learn to do well.
(01:47):
Seek judgment, relieve theoppressed.
Judge.
The fatherless plead for thewidow, foster care workers,
families, and advocates.
What you're doing is pleadingfor the fatherless.
You're showing up in theirdefense just like God commands,
And for those who open theirhearts and their homes.
Romans 12, 13.
(02:07):
Share with the Lord's people whoare in need.
Practice hospitality.
Hospitality in the biblicalsense isn't just hosting dinner
parties.
It's about welcoming thestranger, creating space for
someone who's in need, even ifit's uncomfortable or
inconvenient.
Let's not forget, we too areadopted.
Romans eight 15.
(02:28):
The spirit you receive does notmake you slaves so that you live
in fear again.
Rather the spirit you receivedbrought about your adoption to
sonship and by him we cry, AbbaFather.
God himself adopted us into hisfamily.
When foster parents or familiesbring a child into their home,
(02:49):
they are mirroring that divineadoption story.
so if you're listening today.
And you ever wondered if fostercare is a calling that aligns
with Christians?
I believe the Bible gives asound.
Yes.
It's not just social work, it'skingdom work.
And with that, let's bring inour guests who has almost had 10
(03:11):
years experience and foster careservices.
We got Joe Snyder.
He, is who me and my husband'sreached out to do foster care.
He's a great guy.
And so once we talked to him,and then we started the podcast,
I was like, you know what?
More people need to be able totalk to him, get the information
that we've gotten, and, justhear what Joe Snider has to say.
(03:34):
He's, has foster care carechildren that he's adopted as
well, and he's, in a, i, I don'tremember the organization.
That's okay.
So he'll let you know more aboutthat, but we're so glad that
he's in here today.
Hey, thanks for letting me behere, guys.
You're welcome.
Yeah, it was kind of funnybecause we were just, we text
(03:55):
ideas back and forth, we're bothkind of a DHD and she was like,
I just really feel like we needto have someone on about foster
care.
I literally just talked to, myson's, father's mother, we in
casa.
Okay.
Or Yeah, yeah.
Is that it?
But I asked her about being onand she was like, I don't work
there anymore.
So yeah, it worked out.
It was a God thing.
(04:15):
Like That's awesome.
Just we needed to talk aboutfoster care.
That's awesome.
Well, and you know, foster care,so much of it is just hidden
because we can't share names ofthe children.
We can't share their images ortheir specific stories, and
that's how it should be.
But then it just, it goes like ahidden world that people, they
interface with all the time.
(04:36):
They don't know that they are,and then they don't realize like
how normal this is, how commonit is.
And how big the need is becauseyou literally can't share those
stories, freely.
So thank you guys for using yourplatform to do that.
Of course.
It's also something close tohome for me.
(04:57):
I watched my mom go throughbeing a social worker.
And it took a toll.
Yeah.
So I can only imagine not justfor like the kids, obviously
that's the most important thing,but like the adults surrounding
the situation, it's, you guysare doing such good work.
It's very heavy.
And you saw this with your mom.
Mm-hmm.
Where every single client youserve, every single person you
(05:20):
meet, their story is alreadybroken.
Right.
And we saw Christ do this allthroughout the gospels.
And we see God through this, dothis throughout the entire book,
you go into the brokenness andthere's no way to fix it.
Right.
I was talking with a fosterparent last night who, has a
(05:41):
little boy and was, he wasstruggling with some of his
emotions and different thingsand just asking for some tips.
And one of the things I thinkshe needed to hear is there's
not a way to fix the situation.
We want to provide comfort, wewant to help him process, but
like we, there's no magic thingto say to take away that pain
and every single person your momworked with, that was the story.
(06:04):
Mm-hmm.
Now, praise God, it doesn't stopthere.
Right.
You know, like Jesus is, isabout redemption in every
situation and that is possible.
But it can be incredibly heavyand it can be a lot, you know,
there's no way, to do this andnot let it affect you.
Like I see some social workers,like government workers
specifically, that are able tocompartmentalize.
(06:27):
Or at least they seem like theycan, I have no idea how they do
it.
Right.
Like when God has called you tothis, it is your whole self.
Mm-hmm.
And it, it can really take atoll, but it's, it's so
beautiful.
Yeah, it is.
It's to me, it's definitely justshows exactly what Christ did
for us and how, you know, we'readopted children of his and so
(06:49):
there's so much help just fromthe Bible for families in foster
care.
And we're thankful that, you area believer and that you're
helping so many kids and otherpeople like, use lean on Jesus,
through each other, theirsituations.
Absolutely.
And you know, we, we have a lotof families in, in Arkansas that
this isn't just something theywant to do.
(07:12):
It's not just a humanitarianeffort.
It is also what we've beencommanded to do by the gospel.
Amen.
So you approach it totallydifferently.
Where, you know, when things gethard, you don't want to escape
that this is the mission.
Right.
And we have a lot of familiesthat this is kind of their
first, step into a sacrificialservice mission like that.
(07:39):
And, you know, you find out realquick like, oh, this is a
sacrifice.
Mm-hmm.
This is really hard, but this iswhat God has called me to.
And when you, you know, theBible tells us, just count it
all joy when you experiencesufferings of many kinds.
And when you have those times,this is really hard.
It's easy to say this now inthis podcast in a very
(08:00):
comfortable chair, but you know,at three in the morning when the
kid still hasn't gone to sleepand you know, things are very
difficult.
If in that moment we can bereminded like I am in this
difficult situation because Iobeyed God and he's allowed me
to serve as part of hisredemption story in this child's
life.
And right now is a terrible,difficult time, and I'm gonna be
(08:23):
so glad when I'm over it.
But I'm here because I wasobedient.
So the goal for foster care isreunification.
And that's not just the goal weall adopt, but that's the legal
goal of every single case.
When they come in and they havea couple court dates to say
like, where are we in removingthe children and then they
establish a case plan, whatneeds to happen?
And in the case of a sexualabuser, they're not going to
(08:45):
reunite that child with thatperson, but they want to reunite
them with their family.
And about 70% of time in thestate of Arkansas, children are
able to go back home.
It's not always the case.
Yeah.
But that is our goal and that'sone of the hardest things for us
to celebrate publicly.
(09:05):
Let me say it that way.
We celebrate, like when you talkto our caseworkers and our
staff, like those are the times.
It's like, okay, God is workinghere.
This is awesome.
But the how to capture that andmake that available for a larger
audience where they canunderstand this beautiful thing
of reunification, when what'sright for the family, what helps
(09:28):
them have dignity is for them tojust move on.
Like, we don't wanna spotlightthem in a way, like, let's let
them this be behind them, youknow, and move forward to
hundred percent greener pasture.
So it's a very difficult thing.
Where, adoption is also anincredibly beautiful thing.
My wife and I have adopted fourdaughters, and that's easy to
celebrate because I now havelegal permission to share their
(09:50):
face and their name and theirstory.
And while there is brokenness,that brokenness isn't with this
family now.
So it's a little easier to sharewhile maintaining dignity.
We're really good at that.
There's some friends withProject Zero out of Little Rock,
and they do an incredible jobhighlighting adoptions, the need
for adoptions, and thencelebrating those.
(10:12):
And reunification, it's, that'sthe question that's been on my
mind this week is how do wecelebrate it in a way where
people understand that this is abeautiful thing.
Yeah.
I want to hear like yourquestions, since you're kind of
totally new to a lot of this.
Like I've had a lot ofconversations with Rail and with
charity, but, I want to knowlike what questions you have
(10:32):
because in my job this would bevery helpful, but one of the
things we hear a lot is whenpeople say, oh, I couldn't do
that.
I would get too attached.
Right.
Which, that's so, yeah.
Yeah.
And for you, if that's what youwere gonna say, or if anybody's
listening to this, then that's,that is totally okay.
I understand that.
Yeah.
Um, and what I try to tellpeople is like that, that's
(10:54):
exactly how you should be.
Mm-hmm.
If you are devastated when thischild goes home, what that means
is you serve them with yourentire heart.
And you held nothing back.
And you, you are a parent for aseason, right?
So when, when you have childrenborn to you, you are, you're
(11:17):
able to make every decisionoutside of my wife.
No one else really has to giveme permission to do what, what I
think is best for my kids.
Well, when you're a fosterparent, there's a team and you
are not allowed to make, likethe decision for the child to go
back home doesn't always fall toyou.
And even if you disagree, thatdecision's still being made.
(11:38):
So if you are brokenhearted,what that means is you love this
child tremendously.
You have loved them really well.
You had said like earlier, like,no matter how long they're with
you.
We have children that'll be in ahome for 24 hours.
We have children that'll be inhomes for multiple years.
Yeah.
And that is that sacrificial.
Like, I can't avoid this if I'mgoing to be obedient.
(12:03):
And it's, it's a beautiful, itis very hard, but it is also a
beautiful thing.
So when you say like, I wouldget too attached, I'm trying to
get people to understand like,oh, that's a good thing.
That's how it should be.
Right?
Well, so I personally, Iprobably would get really
attached and as you said, that'sa good thing.
But I've also, I've done severaldifferent, jobs in my life and
(12:26):
daycare worker seeing fosterkids a lot.
I've, I've kind of experiencedthat love and that attachment
already.
Yeah.
My husband's the one who islike, I don't think you can do
it.
I was like, I don't know.
Maybe.
But yeah, I don't know.
I do, I have felt that calling.
Before we, we struggled to haveour, second child or my second
(12:46):
child and I was like, you know,maybe we just foster and that's
just something that I wouldstill consider and still would
love to do.
Yeah.
But, we both have to be on thesame page.
No, I understand.
One, one of the things I loveabout the organization I work
for now, is connected families.
We're part of Arkansas BaptistChildren and Family Ministries.
(13:09):
I know I just said a lot ofwords.
We recorded it.
So that's what I want you toremember is connected families.
Okay.
Now, one thing that I love aboutthat is we want people to first
and foremost obey God inwhatever he's calling you to do.
So praise God.
I do not have to be a salesman.
(13:29):
I'm not good at it.
I tried to sell servers forHewlett Packard for a while.
I'm terrible at it.
But.
It.
So I'm not gonna try to convinceyou to do anything, but if God
is calling you to do something,we want to help empower you to
do it.
And you know, there's a lot ofinquiry meetings.
We have the inquiry meetingswhen someone is wanting to know
more before signing up.
(13:51):
So we sit down and we talk aslong as they need to talk.
And there's a lot of times we'llhave that conversation and we'll
defer them to anotherorganization because we truly
think that's better for them.
One thing I love about connectedis we start with what is God
calling you to do?
They are families.
God is calling specifically toadoption.
(14:12):
And if that's the case, there'sno need to apologize for that.
There are also families that arecalled to foster care.
Okay?
Let's help you do that if youdon't know.
Okay, let's do both.
Like, that's fine.
Mm-hmm.
You know, we have families thatcome in and that part of the
process is you have like apreferences checklist.
It's a really long list of.
(14:33):
All the different things you,you could provide for and things
you could not.
So it's you know, children'sage, their demographics,
everything from gender to someof the behaviors we've seen, if
they have special needs,anything like that.
And we have families that comein and they just draw a line
through Yes.
On every single thing.
(14:53):
And part of me is like somehesitancy, like, Hey, I want you
to pray about that a little bit.
And then we have other familiesthat know exactly like this is
what God is calling us to andpraise God for them.
You know, we have fosterfamilies that specialize in,
children who've been exposed tosubstances.
We have foster families thatspecialize in medically fragile
(15:14):
children.
So just starting with that, whatis God calling you to do?
Because this is a huge need andwe must all do something to
help.
So we're currently sitting, Icall this Searcy I know it's
kin, it's Yeah, but it's cce,right?
Like it's Searcy Yeah, it allcounts.
I truly think that this area canbe, the, the case study for
(15:39):
doing this, right?
Um, every organization inArkansas is represented here in
Searcy Um, it seems that way.
That might not be true.
Please don't Google it.
Um, because who knows?
But what I can tell you isthere's a lot, there are a lot
of people here working togetherto do this, right?
Like one of the things we'redoing today is we, there's a
(15:59):
pickleball tournament thatChick-fil-A has put on for a lot
of these organizations.
And let me just tell you, Ididn't realize how serious
people take pickleball.
Oh yeah.
Until last year was their firstyear to do it.
I did not understand.
We always play it for fun andlike people are showing up 20
minutes early to stretch andthey're stretching the entire
(16:20):
time.
And I'm like wanting to talk topeople about foster care,
whatever.
And you know, the, thetournament is supporting all of
these organizations.
So I'll walk up and they'relike, no.
Like I'm in the zone.
Nope.
Like, it's a level ofseriousness I've never seen.
Sorry.
That has nothing to with whereis it at?
What I'm talking about today.
They actually moved it to herein Kensett.
(16:41):
But here in Searcy lot of theseorganizations are represented
and, I think we can actuallytake care of the needs.
So what I mean by that is we'venever had enough families to
service the children.
And I think if it's going tohappen anywhere, it could here
in Circe.
Yeah.
I believe that.
(17:01):
Mm-hmm.
And we can pray for thatjointly.
Absolutely.
All our listeners, our churchesfor sure.
And I think that this willencourage, a lot of families to,
look at it.
A lot of people like look at itlike y'all said, like, oh, I
think I'll get to attach.
Well, ultimately, like, are wedoing, like, yes, some people
are called to it, but there'sthings that you can do to help
(17:22):
foster care families, even ifyou're not gonna foster.
And what are some of thosethings that people can do?
Yeah.
So like you said, not everyoneis called to open their home to
foster care.
I would like everyone to ask Godif they are though.
Amen.
You know?
'cause there's, there's timeslike, oh, that sounds really
hard.
Don't wanna do that.
Right.
Um, I want you to treat it like,am I a missionary to Hawaii
(17:45):
instead of, am I a missionary toSiberia?
Right.
And what I mean by that ispeople hear it and they're like,
ah, no, I'm not called toSiberia.
I would probably default to thattoo.
But if there's a spot open andthey're like, Hey, do you wanna
help us plan a church in Hawaii?
I'm gonna genuinely considerthat.
And if we can have that sameapproach to foster care, let's
(18:05):
start there.
Am I called to open my home?
If not, if God tells you no.
Okay, that's fine.
If we can get our churches tosee this as a ministry of the
church and not a ministry of theindividual, that's when we see
things change.
Amen.
Right.
When you guys open your home, ifthe culture is that y'all are an
(18:29):
open home and you guys are inthis ministry of foster care,
that's kind of the status quo,what we've seen so far.
Instead, if the church can rallybehind you to support you, and
there's a few really key waysthat we try to encourage people
to do this.
One of the most impactful isthere's a member of the team.
(18:52):
You know, we talked about theteam earlier.
You have caseworkers and lawyersand the foster parent and
therapists, but also there's amember of the team called the
Foster Family Support System.
Each foster family gets three ofthese.
This is great for your bestfriend, your mom, your neighbor,
the people you would call if youcould not go pick up your kids
(19:13):
from school, who would you callto get them?
That's who this is geared for.
They do a background check.
I think they check their drivingrecord, but it's pretty low
effort to be approved.
These people are allowed totransport those children and
keep them up to, I think it's 24hours.
It might have been extended.
But because these children areawards of the state, not just
(19:35):
anyone can, you know, right.
Like provide for them in thatway.
You can still have a babysitterand stuff.
But these are people that cantruly help, you know, take a
child somewhere if they need to.
If there's an emergency theycan, spend the night at their
house.
They can even get likeallowances from the state to
keep them a little longer fromthan that.
(19:55):
And that's an incredible way todo it.
We even have people now thatwe've been sharing this, who
come to us and say, we want tobe that, which family needs it.
Wow, that's awesome.
And that's been a really coolthing to see.
We started getting involved infoster care in 2016 and in the
last year is the first time I'veheard people ask that question
in that way.
(20:16):
And now don't, I don't wannascare people off if that's what
you wanna do, but those peopleare now opening their home
because they realize like, oh,we can do this.
Yeah.
That's such a good way to start.
To like, Hey, get your feet wet,but let me at least, help some.
Let me at least do something andpray about it another way.
I would encourage people tosupport, is if you have a foster
(20:39):
family in your church or youhave a friend or someone you
know, take them a meal once amonth, a hot meal, take it to
them or invite them into yourhome.
People don't like to invitelarge families into their home.
I understand my wife and I havehosted five times more than we
have been hosted because we havea bunch of children.
(21:00):
But take them a meal once amonth and before you leave, pray
over that family.
Don't just tell them you'regonna pray for them.
Like right now on the porch.
How can I pray for you and prayover them?
If you do that, you will begin arelationship where they can
share with you needs, andthey're gonna tell you, but also
(21:22):
they're gonna call you when theyneed encouragement.
They're gonna call you when.
They, they need three hours, youknow, with their husband on a
date night and they'restruggling, you know, those kind
of things.
Right.
So those are the two big thingswe're trying to encourage people
with.
That is amazing.
I'm so glad we can share that onthis podcast because I've
(21:44):
personally wanted to be involvedin some way.
Yeah.
And cooking is something, Ithink I've done that before.
I went to a church where theygave you like Tupperware.
And you just take it home andyou just fill it with the food
and you bring it, and then likeit goes to a foster family.
Yeah.
I love that.
We, we love to have churches whowill provide freezer meals.
We want all of our families tohave one meal in the freezer at
(22:06):
all times.
The reason for that is you mighthave a placement that night or
that you might have a child who,you know, as we heal our mind.
Brings forth new things we needto start dealing with.
So those are called triggers.
You might have a child thatcomes home from school and to
love them.
Well, I will not be able to cookdinner or just simply, I need to
(22:28):
focus on this child.
So let's take that, throw in theoven, focus on this child for a
while.
So we want them to always haveone, but then also just to have
the, getting a free meal isn'talways that helpful.
It can at times, you know, as aparent, like it can almost be
more work.
It's the connection and it'sbeing served.
Mm-hmm.
That's the big deal.
(22:49):
This is all really goodinformation.
'cause I do feel like themajority of people, of course,
are willing to help, but maybenot willing to necessarily take
on the responsibility of achild.
A life.
You're really, but yeah, you'reresponsible for that human life.
(23:10):
Yeah.
So, and that's a, that's a bigresponsibility.
I understand that.
One thing we try to let peopleknow, you know, we have these
meetings early in to tellpeople, like, if God is calling
you this, here's how you can,one thing that's surprising to
people is the amount of supportthat is available to foster
families.
Yes.
My mom, when she was a socialworker, she would talk about all
(23:32):
these things that she would beable to go and do for these
children.
She would take them to doctor'sappointments and there was all
these different resources andtherapy available for these
kids.
And it's, it is like a hugeundertaking.
But with all these resources andall these different ways that
(23:53):
people are helping, you'recreating a community.
Absolutely.
I don't think Hillary Clintonwas the first one to say it
takes a village.
I think that's just an oldproverb.
But it always gets subscribed toher.
But it's absolutely true andpraise God that there is a
village that exists.
So when we step into this, it'snot alone.
Not only do you have the statehelping with things from, you
(24:16):
know, like every child comesinto care is automatically
approved with insurance, so youdon't have to worry about that.
You are provided a subsidy forthem.
It's not much, but it definitelydoes help the children that are
young enough, and I don'tremember these specific age, are
automatically approved for wic.
Children that are preschool ageare given daycare and preschool
vouchers.
(24:37):
Our agency helps support in tonsof ways and we have a lot of
local agencies that do the samething.
So one thing we're always tryingto do is connect people to those
supports.
A couple of those I wouldencourage people to find out
more about.
Is 100 families.
There's a couple representativeshere in Searcy One is at
(24:58):
Sparrow's Promise, one is at,fellowship Bible.
And what they do is literallytheir job is connecting to all
the resources.
And that's not just for,families involved in foster
care, it's also biologicalfamilies that we're trying to
keep out of foster care.
So our foster families are givenall of these things.
(25:18):
All of our services are free.
There's no expense.
You know, even the childrenwe've adopted, the only charge I
know of, was a birth certificatewhen they took our last name.
Now, obviously raising a childis expensive, so there's some
out of pocket of just meals andthings, but they try to help
with that through that monthlyboard payment.
So it's way more possible thanpeople realize.
(25:41):
Mm-hmm.
100%.
I agree with that.
I mentioned Project Zero to youearlier.
They are the organization, thestate uses, to help match
waiting families with kids thatare available for adoption.
And you can go to projectzero.org and see every child in
the state who's available foradoption.
Yep.
(26:02):
Yeah, definitely get on thereand try not to cry, you know?
Absolutely.
Well, and what you'll see isyou'll see a lot of older
children, you'll see a lot ofsibling groups, and you'll see
children with special needs.
And you know, where what we needin both foster care in adoption
is we need people who arewilling to take older children
(26:22):
and sibling groups.
Those are our biggest needs.
And when you see those childrenlisted, if we can just remember,
they represent a much largergroup of children that we cannot
share their photos, share theirface.
One of the reasons why I'vetalked about this organization,
project Zero multiple times nowis they do such a great job of
(26:44):
helping connect the heart ofChrist to this need.
And one of the things we'reasking right now is, how can we
do that and do a better job ofconnecting that heart to
reunification, connecting thatheart to serving these
biological families?
Because it's not wrong withadoption, but it's much easier
to do that there.
So we need those families whocan, you know, care for those,
(27:07):
those older, more difficult toplace children.
And I was gonna say to you, Ididn't want to interrupt you.
Yeah.
But now you're crying, so I feellike I can keep talking.
God calls us to differentthings, and if your heart is
leaning more towards adoption,we don't have to apologize for
that.
There are also many fosterfamilies that when they think
about committing to a child fortheir rest of their lives, like,
(27:29):
I don't know, that seems like alot, Yeah.
so We don't have to apologizewhen God's calling us to
something.
Obedience is absolutely neverfailure.
Well, as your friend charity, Iknow that your heart and your
home is ready.
I can.
I see.
Well, the house, you know, it isgetting, but I know what you
mean.
Yeah, for sure.
Well, and you told us y'all wereremodeling a house, but then
(27:51):
I've seen like some of y'all'svideos that you put on social.
I'm like, y'all aren't justremodeling a house.
You undersold this.
Y'all are gutting a house andrebuilding it from the floor up.
My wife and I have done that acouple times.
It is so much work and it takesso long, but it's so much
cheaper and houses are soexpensive.
So, and, and it's reallyexciting just to be like, you
(28:13):
know what, like already, like,there's gonna be so many kids.
Yeah.
That's what I mean is so you canjust like be like, you know,
some days you can just be likeso ungrateful, like, oh, like
we're having to redo a house.
Like I'm so privileged to beable to have a house like that.
And look forward to all the kidsthat, are gonna be able to live
there.
(28:33):
That's beautiful.
Literally just count on me tocry for talking literally every
help.
Well, and it's true.
You are providing a physicalplace.
And when we talk about the home,it's not just the physical
place.
It's the entire thing.
And you guys are creating that,now and you're seeing that it is
not fast.
(28:54):
This takes a long time.
And there'll be children youserve that come into your home
and stay in those bedrooms thaty'all are building now that
it's, you're gonna want it to befaster.
They're healing and theirprogress.
And it is very slow.
What you're saying is, theLord's just preparing me for
more patience Absolutely.
I 100% agree with that.
(29:14):
I know that the Lord, it's gonnabe in perfect timing.
When everything works out, thechildren that are perfect for
us, we'll raise them.
And I truly believe that my wifeand I, before we were married,
we were talking about fostercare and adoption.
We both, separately just kind ofknew this was part of our
future, something we wanted todo.
(29:35):
And there's a lot of people whothink about foster care or
adoption if they cannot havechildren of their own.
And I understand that if youhave a, like we had a foster
family here in the area that hadlike nine children,
biologically, and they stillhave a heart to serve more
children.
that's very rare.
God, thank you for those people.
(29:57):
but it doesn't have to be areplacement.
Right?
Like we knew this was going tobe part of our story and we were
praying, we, were married in2008.
We didn't have our firstbiological child until 2011, but
we were praying for thechildren.
God would one day bring into ourhome.
And there was a time where werealized like, oh, they might be
(30:19):
alive now.
We started the process in 2015,opened in spring of 2016.
And you know those children who,you know, we eventually adopted
a few of them.
they were born before we weremarried.
They were alive then.
And we were praying for God toprepare us and he was preparing
us for those children.
(30:40):
We would one day meet.
And that's, it is just thosetimes when you're reminded that.
God sees things we don't.
He's ordaining these things.
So that when this brokennesshappened and these children
needed a family, we wereavailable.
And prepared.
Amen.
What a good story.
What a beautiful story.
I love that.
So how many kids do you havetotal?
(31:01):
That's a hard question toanswer.
We had someone over for dinnerlast night and anytime we try to
tell who our children are, howmany, it's what order do I go
in?
Do I go in the order of theirage or when they came into our
home or, you know, it, that'sjust confusing.
So I'm just gonna to keep itsimple.
we have seven children.
(31:22):
from 26 down to five.
Our oldest daughter lives inSavannah.
We have a 4-year-oldgranddaughter named Sophia.
we love them so very much Ican't even say the process'cause
there's so many different ones.
We have three children born tous.
We've adopted four children.
Our oldest daughter we neverlegally adopted.
And if she desired that, wewouldn't have a problem with
(31:43):
that.
But it didn't, she came into ourhome when she was 19.
And in all of the stories, it'sso difficult to explain because
it's non-normative.
but what we like to say is thatGod has completely redefined the
word family.
For us, it, the definition isway more cloudy, but we
understand it so much better.
(32:04):
And because I think we've allnow seen the people who are
truly family to us, that we arenot related to at all.
And really the only differencein some senses is that that
happened with children, thatneeded a place to go and they
couldn't have made that happenon their own.
So we've adopted three fromfoster care.
(32:25):
Here in Arkansas and, we havethree biological children.
One of the things I hear a lotis people worry about their
biological children if they openinto care, which is
understandable.
There's part of our training islike how to keep yourself safe
from different things.
Right.
Just to be smart, because everyone of these children have
(32:47):
experienced some kind of abuseor neglect.
That doesn't mean they will,but, we wanna be smart.
what I've seen with mybiological children is they've
lived this normal and, you know,last night as we're telling this
story, my oldest son is 13.
He's a very mature 13.
(33:07):
And seeing the way he would loveon, little brother who's come to
us through foster care.
Is absolutely beautiful.
And seeing the way my childrenunderstand family mm-hmm.
Is so different.
We fostered a little boy forabout a year and he ended up
going back home and it was thattime when it's like, I'm
(33:29):
devastated.
I did not agree at the time thathe should have gone back home,
but the biological family hasthat right.
Like they deserve to this.
so he goes back home, but thefirst Christmas he was with us
Milo, or 13-year-old, he gotlike a punching bag for
Christmas and it's the kind thatlike inflates and there's a
heavy weight on the bottom andit like, looks like a boxer and
(33:53):
my logos, you know, unwraps itand starts punching it.
And this little boy has acomplete panic attack.
Yeah.
And I don't know, but I wouldassume he's seen things like
this.
And my son, who at the time waslike five or six.
It's just like, okay, that'sfine.
Let's put that back in the box.
(34:15):
Mom and dad.
Y'all gimme something else.
Right?
Like, I'm gonna double checkthat.
Yeah.
But he had no problem.
Like, I will let go of myChristmas gift because this is
hurting you.
Wow.
And that's something, you know,a brother does.
So what I take away from that isif you're a parent already and
you have biological children andyou wanna bring foster kids in
(34:36):
your home not to worry as muchabout that.
Absolutely.
Because it can open your kids upto loving people more.
I mean, it's the same thing ifyou serve in your church or you
serve at a soup kitchen.
You serve on mission, you go onmission trips, any example like
that, and your children go withyou, they get to see this.
They get to be, they get to takepart in this.
(34:58):
They are believers in Christ andthey are ministers of the
gospel.
Amen.
I want to raise them to do this.
Now again, that doesn't meanthere's never anything to worry
about, but it's not somethingthat should hold you back.
Like it's the same thing withbirth order.
People are always so worriedabout disrupting birth order and
I'm like, guys, it's not worse.
(35:20):
Like if you, like my son, myyoungest son, he's six, he's
been the baby his entire life.
If we had another baby thatwould be very difficult for him
disrupting birth order in thatway.
But no one ever worries aboutthat.
we've done it all where theoldest was no longer the oldest.
That's happened a couple times.
And then there were childrenplaced in the middle and then a
(35:40):
baby boy, there's a lot.
But if God is calling you to dothis, what he's promised us in
James is that any suffering weexperience will produce
endurance and produce hope.
so, I'm going to be okay withsome of that.
Mm-hmm.
Like that's a very good reason.
To have suffering.
Yeah.
100%.
100%.
(36:01):
I agree.
And he'll also bring you throughand he won't give you more than
you can handle.
And you're gonna see thefulfilling of his promise.
Yeah.
Well, and I think the way, if Ican get a little theological for
a second, I think the way peoplehave been taught that phrase of
God's not gonna give you morethan you can handle, they
understand it in a theologicallyincorrect way.
(36:23):
Mm-hmm.
And they think of it like, okay,he's not gonna put me through
something that will destroy me.
Yeah.
He will.
Right.
he wants to put you in thingswhere it will destroy you unless
you are walking closely withhim.
Amen.
He's called me to be foster careor no.
So it's like he'll never put methrough something.
He and I can't handle, or reallyhe can't handle, and I'm just
(36:45):
kind of along for the ride.
You know, like you're pray andwe see families who step into
this and they get to that momentand it's kind of the first time
they've ever been in that placewhere your prayer shifts from,
God help me do this to God.
I cannot do this.
Please just take care of it.
If you don't do this, we will bedestroyed.
(37:06):
And that is, you know, when ourrelationship with the father is
purist, but also like, if I'mnot getting to that point, what
am I not doing for the gospel?
What opportunities have I leftbecause I was afraid or I wanted
to be comfortable, or whateverit may be.
That I don't think the phrase isbad.
I just think a lot of people,how people perceive it and how
(37:29):
they understand it, and liketheir definition of it today is
not the actual definition.
Yeah.
I mean, when you get crushed bysomething and you're thinking,
well, I thought you weren'tsupposed to gimme more than I
could handle.
Well yeah.
But we're gonna do thistogether.
Absolutely.
You know, God wants us to get tothat point where we must depend
on him.
And hopefully that's short ofour destruction.
It's not always.
(37:50):
The Bible promises us that itsays when you encounter
persecution many times, not if.
And if we are following him in apure, honest way, we will
experience, persecution andthere's times it's almost like
I'm validated, you know?
It's like, okay, I'm reallydoing this because I'm being
persecuted.
(38:11):
So it's like, should I be happyabout this?
But got all his joy, right?
Absolutely.
I'm doing my best God.
But this is hard, you know, andI'm gonna praise you in the
middle of it.
So I wanna shift gears just alittle bit.
Okay.
I'm so, so glad.
I'm sure we'll pick back up onfoster care at some point, but,
the point of this podcast isreally to get down to like the,
(38:34):
the worst of the worst momentsyou probably ever had in your
life, and how God led you out ofthat, what your testimony is.
You're like, what you'recomfortable sharing, obviously,
but Yeah, just what, how Godsaved you basically.
the running theme it seems is Ikeep getting in these moments
(38:57):
where you have to say, am I.
Truly going, do I truly believethis?
Am I truly going to follow Godor not?
And unfortunately that's been intimes where people I was very
close with chose not.
And I had to choose, am I trulygonna stay on this path when it
will cost me things that aredear friendships, relationships
(39:20):
with family.
And that's kind of been thethrough line.
Praise God, my wife entered thepicture and we've been able to
do that together, many times.
And she's never made me ask thatquestion.
And I pray I never make her askthat question.
I came to understand salvationat an early age.
I love trivia.
Like I love nothing more than agood quiz bowl tournament.
(39:41):
it is truly my favorite thing.
I've won the Harry Potter triviaon both cruises I've been on,
and, my wife makes fun of me forit all the time, even though I
know she's very proud.
She also makes fun of me,because there's like groups of
eight people and it's just meand her and she's not helping.
Right.
So I love trivia and as a kid wewould study scripture and they
(40:04):
would do like bible quiz bowl atmy church and I dominated.
I love that.
I mean, people say they peakedin high school.
I peaked during quiz Olympicswhen I was in third grade.
Great.
I came to know Christ at anearly age.
I'd heard that prayer.
You might've heard it.
Like, now I lay down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
And then you get to that superscary thing for no reason if I
(40:27):
should die before I wake.
Yeah.
And I would, the way we weretaught is we would pray that,
and then we would continuepraying.
And I legitimately thoughtpeople just died all the time in
their sleep.
And especially as a kid, youhear about people who passed
unless they, well, they diedpeacefully in their sleep.
And so it was just like a rollof the dos to me as this kid.
(40:48):
And it really made me realizelike, oh, I, this is reality.
So one night, you know, I'vebeen scared about this enough,
and I finally just, I knew whatto do.
God, you have forgiven me.
I am a sinner.
I cannot do this on my own.
And, you know, I, I begin mybelief then, and it frustrated
(41:09):
my parents because I didn't tellthem, you know, it was like a
couple days later and in my mindit's like, what?
Why did I need to come get you?
You know?
And as a parent, now Iunderstand.
I want to hear my children'sprayers.
So that I can remind them intimes when they are doubting,
like, no, I heard your heart.
I knew what you were saying.
Yeah.
(41:29):
But I was like, I knew what todo and I did it.
You know, like I didn't know.
So that's where it began.
But you know that I didn't beginfollowing Jesus then.
Yeah.
You know, when you're young,that's just hard.
So I was about 14 when I trulydecided to follow him with my
life.
Yeah.
And in that time, you know,you're in a small town in
(41:50):
Arkansas.
I grew up in Cave City justnorth of Batesville Like I tell
people I'm from Batesville.
'cause you are from both.
Yeah.
Right.
So I grew up there, small town,small church, and in senior high
I was 15 when news broke that,you know, really made, everyone
in my family asked thatquestion, are we truly going to
(42:10):
be.
Are we truly gonna followChrist?
Are we truly going to embracethe suffering?
some of my family chose no.
And my sister and I, very muchsaid yes, and there were
definitely some other spots onthe spectrum on that.
it isolated us in a lot of waysfrom family and in our church
and it was so incrediblydifficult.
(42:32):
Um, but he used that to refineus.
Um, I had met Lindsey, my wife,at a church camp, when we were
kids.
I was 17, she was 16 orsomething like that.
She's our family memory, so shewill absolutely tell me I'm
wrong.
we had dated for a few yearsand, our families had kind of
(42:53):
dissolved and broken indifferent ways and we knew we
were gonna be getting married.
So we got married very young.
I was.
20.
She was 18 when we were married.
There's nothing easy aboutgetting married young.
it was, okay, let's galvanizeourselves together and follow
Jesus together.
It was very difficult.
I graduated in 2006, the fall of2006 was one of the worst times
(43:16):
of my life.
I was trying to go to seminaryand I had a lot of people and
some family that did not thinkthat was a good idea.
UCA was planning on giving me alot of money to go to school, so
I was like, okay, I'll do both.
I'll get a degree and somethingjust to appease people and I'll
also go to seminary.
I tried to do both and it justwas not possible.
(43:38):
It's just too much.
In the fall of 2006, my unclepasses, my grandfather passes.
All of my teachers think I'mmaking this up.
You know?
'cause it's like the first monthof school.
There just kept being morethings.
it was this time in my life whenI am back on.
I'm not on the straight andnarrow.
I'm back on the boulevard and Iam destroying the things I want
(44:03):
to do.
so I had a freak out moment, butjust this moment of like, if I
don't change things, then allthat I'm desiring and the path
God has and what I've signed upfor, I'm saying no to all of
that.
So I did a bunch of dumb stuffand I tried to take a break from
Lindsay at the time.
(44:24):
It's unclear to me if I dumpedher or if we were taking a
break.
I don't know.
I've never watched friends, butshe's quoted that meme all the
time.
And it was seriously just likethis moment of like, I am
ruining my life and hers.
Yeah.
And if I'm not willing to committo her forever, then what am I
doing?
It was beautiful how God pursuedme in that time.
(44:45):
You know, when you feel theweight of your sin, it forces
you to simultaneously seeyourself as a rich and also
praise God for his goodness.
Every time in scripture, whensomeone gets to see the heavenly
realm or gets to see God face toface or hear his voice, they
(45:05):
fall to their needs.
And shame and praise God that weget to do that same thing.
So I dropped out of UCA, I wasin the u c's honors program for
one semester.
And when you have to talk to somany people to drop out of
school when you have certainscholarships and stuff, I have
(45:26):
talked to like five differentpeople to drop out and they all
think I'm crazy and just tellingme this is the most
irresponsible thing ever.
And as I'm walking off ofcampus, they had the new signs,
they had these like lot posts,and these little signs that say
different things.
And it was advertising thehonors program and it was like a
(45:47):
99.7% graduation rate as I justdropped out.
it was kind of just comical.
It was like, okay, I'm not astatistic.
Yeah.
Praise God.
I started in youth ministry in2008 in Benton, and then God had
moved us down south of PondBluff for a while.
then we went to help a church inConway in, 2014.
Young Church was just plantedand we served there for a very,
(46:10):
very long time.
church planting's not easy and,there's so many beautiful
things.
what we've tried to do is pursueGod in a pure, honest way.
Invite other people to do that.
You read in Acts chapter two,they were gathering in the
temple together.
They were meeting in homes.
(46:31):
They were devoting themselves tothe apostles teaching and to
prayers.
All of this they're doing withpeople.
And, you know, as we were tryingto refine that down, what does
this mean?
What does that mean?
Keep refining it down.
We got to the three words,enjoying Jesus together, and
that's.
What my wife and I want to do,let's invite other people to
enjoy Jesus with us.
(46:52):
Amen.
I think it was John Piper thattook the old phrase, the phrase
was, the chief end of man is toworship God and enjoy him
together.
And John Piper tweaks that.
He says, the chief end of man isto worship God by enjoying him
together.
So early in my life where it wasa knowledge that I needed
(47:17):
salvation, like what led me torepentance was my fear of hell.
But my, where I am now is I wantto be close to Jesus.
And you know, my fear of hell isless about like, we've made such
a big deal out of burning andtorment.
(47:37):
My fear of hell is that I'mgonna be cut off from God.
And you know, the good news, thegospel.
Well, the name of y'all'spodcast is the Gossip Gospel.
Good news.
Gossip.
Okay.
It's literally on the wall.
If I could read the writing offthe wall.
Um, sorry.
The good news gossip.
The good news that Jesusproclaimed, um, if you read his
(47:58):
words, is that the kingdom ofGod is at hand.
So if there's gonna be a daywhen I can be in full fellowship
with God, full knowledge of God,that kingdom is here now, and I
can do that now.
Mm-hmm.
And I just want to live a lifewhere I can experience God now.
Amen.
And when you do, like, when youget to do that, it is a
(48:21):
beautiful thing.
And I really just languish thefact that so many believers have
never truly experienced God inthat way.
Right.
Know they haven't.
Yeah.
I've seen it.
Do we have time for me to sharea story with y'all?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know how long y'all'spodcast we're 55 minutes right
now.
But you got all time.
I'll try, I'll try to be quick.
(48:41):
when you try to get people tounderstand the ministry of
foster care It is a ministry ofthe gospel.
Many of these children, it canbe the first time they see
genuine followers of Christ.
in talking with you now, I thinkwe can say in an honest way,
there are people who arebelievers who have never
followed Jesus.
And to me there's a difference.
(49:02):
There was a Kyle Ottoman bookback in the day called, not a
Fan that I love.
There is a difference betweenbelievers and followers and my
family.
We are followers of Jesus.
You don't have to be a followerof Jesus to be loved by us, to
be in our family, but that's whowe are.
So back in the eighties, there'sa girl in Little Rock named
(49:23):
Tammy.
Tammy comes from a very abusivefamily.
A family that many of them hadprofessed knowledge of Christ.
And, you know, from the outsidelooking in, that's what they
would profess.
But clearly that's not howthey're living.
And there's a lot of abusebecause of this.
She comes into foster care andwhen you're a teenage girl in
(49:46):
foster care, you can really getrun through the mill.
You can bounce from house tohouse really easy.
Tammy definitely, had somebehavior things she, had, you
know, there, there's times whenthere's reasons why kids have
bounced, but also, praise Godfor the families that will stick
with'em.
So Tammy finds herself, in thehome of Jim and Mary La Moya.
(50:09):
Jim and Mary are followers ofJesus and Tammy's only in this
home for about six months, andit's the first time she's ever
seen Christians who truly likewhat it looks like in the house
when the doors are closed.
That's what it looks like outthere too.
It was the first time she saw ahusband.
Love his wife the way God hascommanded.
(50:32):
You know, in Ephesians that wequote all the time, love your
wife the way I've loved thechurch.
It's the first time she's everseen that.
So Tammy, shortly after findsherself pregnant, and I could
get some specifics wrong.
I don't know if it's because thebaby was coming in, but she was
only able to stay with the LaMoya family for about six
(50:52):
months.
In that six months she saw thegospel on display.
She moves forward with the restof her life.
she has a couple more children.
She marries a man that's prettyabusive.
But she knows about the gospel.
She's, she knows about theBible.
She's heard it taught, and sheremembers the testimony of Jim
and Mary, not just what theysaid, but what she got to see
(51:14):
the witness.
It's that example that leads herto repentance and leads her to
following Jesus.
she has some time when her kidsare, young to young teenagers
where following Jesus is prettymessy and there's repentance
and, regression and all thatnormal life kind of stuff.
And, moves forward and is tryingto follow God.
(51:38):
Her first marriage fails.
She marries another man, that isa man of God and they are
pursuing Jesus together.
And because of the testimonythat she saw with Jim and Mary,
the abuse that happened in herhome with her first husband was
not okay.
And we're gonna eliminate that.
(52:01):
Tammy is leading our children.
To understand God.
And to serve him with theirlives and to be a loving mother.
Even though, Tammy's far fromperfect, I can tell you she's an
incredible loving mother.
So you talk about the long-termimpact and the breaking of the
cycle.
The reason I'm telling you thisstory is because Tammy is
(52:22):
Lindsay's mom.
And not only was Lindsay not infoster care, but my children who
have experienced that, that kindof abuse and neglect, who, have
seen foster care, you know, fromthe sibling side and from, you
know, I am in foster caremyself.
Like both of those views, theyonly know a grandmother that
(52:42):
loves them incredibly well.
Who loves Jesus and can almostget on your nerves with how much
she's talking about the gospel.
Like, you know, Paul says, Ichose to know nothing else but
Jesus.
And him crucified.
Tammy's one of those people,she's constantly talking about
what God says about thesethings, and that is the
(53:03):
testimony of her life.
What will be remembered abouther is not her time in care, not
the abuse that happened to her.
And, you know, give glory to Godthat the cycle is broken.
Mm-hmm.
And not only was her daughterable to love children in the
same way that Jim and Mary did,but her grandchildren will never
(53:23):
know anything different.
And that's, wow.
What a beautiful story.
That's not just what foster caredoes, that's what Jesus can do.
Mm-hmm.
Through followers who choosethis as their ministry.
What a like one little seed,little, I mean, six months, a
seed planted that just, youknow, we, it's there.
(53:44):
So we're hoping that, thispodcast planted a whole lot of
seeds.
There is so much, biblicalthings talked about, and our
hearts just, opened up and wehope that our listeners just
open up their hearts and canpray about this and maybe we
can, reach that goal of havingenough foster care families for
the amount of kids that are infoster care.
Can I give a quick, avenue forpeople?
(54:05):
Yeah.
I was gonna ask you do, ifpeople are interested.
One thing I love to do, I toldyou and Elle this when we met
that day.
I don't remember where we atelunch, but it house was so good.
Greek house, sorry, that's notthe lead line here.
Um, it just reminded me.
Okay.
Um, one thing I love to do, myfavorite part of my job is
sitting down with people who areconsidering this and just, hey,
(54:28):
any question you have, let'stalk through it.
if someone who's listening tothis wants to learn more and
you're in anywhere in Arkansas,reach out to me.
You can find me.
S-N-Y-D-E r@abcm.org.
You can find me on Facebook andother things, but send me a
message there.
I would love to get connectedwith them.
(54:49):
And, you know, again, that's ourgoal is if God is calling this
to you, calling you to this.
I service kind of northeastArkansas.
I'm in CCE all the time, so it'snever a problem to drive in.
I'm driving in once or twice aweek.
there's some other people likeme in the state that if you're
in Southeast Arkansas orsomewhere else, I can point you
to somebody closer or we canjump on a Zoom call or I'll
(55:10):
drive down.
That's totally fine.
We'll figure it out.
But don't, I don't want peopleto just assume like the whole,
like, I'm not a missionary toSiberia.
Truly consider this and praythrough it.
Amen.
I love it.
And I'll put, all thesedifferent organizations and
things that you talked about inthe show notes.
Oh, that's great.
So everybody can just click andgo.
(55:30):
But yeah, I appreciate yourtime.
This episode has been such ablessing.
I'm so blessed by what God'sdoing.
Thank you guys for invite me andthis is really cool.
Awesome.
Thank you.
Gather around God's and movethem all over town.
Good news, gossip, spreadinghope and life.
(55:52):
Good news, gossip, making, darkday.
Every testimony, every story.
True God's do.
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