March 6, 2025 • 19 mins
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Audrey (00:01):
Hello friends, welcome back to Grace for my Home.
I'm so glad you've joined mehere again this week and I hope
that you're doing well.
We are doing great.
Soccer season has started up,so we're pretty busy.
That's the fun part of workingat a coffee shop is coming up
with drink ideas and finding outwhat people like and those kind
(00:24):
of things.
That's the fun part.
Today we're finishing up on ourseries on marriage and this week
I want to share with you fivethings that your husband needs
(00:44):
from you.
You know, marriage is good.
Marriage is good because Godcreated it and he knows what we
need In marriage.
God gives us a partner, hegives us a friend, he gives us
somebody to do life with.
It's a precious gift, but anyperson who's ever been married
(01:05):
knows that it's not easy.
The Bible says when a man and awoman come together in marriage
that they become one, andbecoming one is not easy.
We both have a sinful nature,we both have a past, we both
have issues, we have hurts, wehave things we're trying to deal
with and, at the same time,trying to come together and
(01:28):
raise a family, trying to loveeach other, meet each other's
needs.
It's not easy, and so thethings I'm going to share with
you today, I want to just goahead and say it out the gate.
I understand this is one-sided.
I'm sharing with you today thethings your husband needs from
you, and something the Lorddealt with me early in my
(01:52):
marriage is that I can't changemy husband.
No matter how much I want to,no matter how much I try, no
matter what techniques I use, Icannot change him.
I can pray for him and I canask the Lord to deal with his
heart in the areas where heneeds to change, but God does
(02:13):
not give me the ability or thepower to change him.
And when I try, I'm frustratedand he's frustrated.
But I also found out that I dohave influence.
There are things that I can doin my marriage that help, that
make things go better, that makethings go smoother, that
(02:36):
restores the goodwill between meand my husband, that kind of
relieves tension and makes theatmosphere of our home better.
Now, that doesn't mean it's allup to me.
He has his own part to play,but I can't play that part for
him.
So what I'm sharing with youtoday are things that you can do
.
I'm not saying that these fivethings completely alleviate his
(03:00):
responsibility.
I'm not saying that at all.
I'm saying this is what you cando, this is what I can do, this
is what we can do.
You know, your marriage is notjust between you and your
husband.
It's between you and yourhusband and the Lord.
And so today, as I offer theseto you, I just want to be very
frank up front.
I don't give you this as in youknow, everything rests on your
(03:24):
shoulders, but you do have apart to play, and so my prayer
is that these would give youideas, would give you hope,
would give you, you know, anunderstanding that you know we
can't do our husband's part, butwe can do our part when it
comes to making our marriagestrong.
The first thing that yourhusband needs from you in
(03:45):
marriage is your prayers.
Now, he may not ask you to prayfor him, but trust me, he needs
it.
We have an enemy who hatesmarriage, and our first line of
defense is prayer.
When we pray, we bring God intoour marriage.
We give God a pathway to comein and to deal with our hearts
(04:07):
and with our husband.
The funny thing about prayer isthat we start praying what we
want and what we see and what wethink, we pray about these
things.
But God has a way of takingthat time in prayer and dealing
with our hearts.
We may come to the Lord becauseof something that we don't like
or we think should change or bea certain way, but a lot of
(04:28):
times when I've done that in mymarriage, the Lord has put his
hand or put his finger on myheart and showed me.
Well, you know what.
Maybe he does need to change inthis area, but maybe you need
to change in this area.
Now, I don't necessarily likethat, but I'd rather live in the
truth than pretend that I'mperfect and he's not, because I
(04:51):
really do want a strong marriage, even though sometimes it's not
easy.
Sometimes marriage has a way ofshowing us who we really are.
There's this person who wethink we are and then when we
get married, it's like, oh, Ihave a lot of areas that I need
to grow in, and I didn't realizehow immature I was until I got
(05:12):
married and I thought I waspretty mature.
And then I got married and Iwas like, oh, ok, well, maybe
not, maybe I do have some areasI can work on.
But when we go to the Lord inprayer for our marriage.
He works in our marriage and heworks in us.
Also, another thing about prayeris it's hard to stay mad at
(05:32):
somebody when you'reconsistently praying for them.
You know, when you're coming tothe Lord with a sincere heart,
asking Him to bless someone,asking Him to work in somebody's
heart, in somebody's life, it'shard to stay mad at that person
.
And you know, one of my prayershas always been Lord, give me
your love for my husband.
I have my love for him and youknow the reasons I fell in love
(05:55):
with him and I married him.
But I know that you see him alot differently than I do.
Give me your love for him.
Let me see him through youreyes, because he's, you know,
god is not just my father, he'smy husband's father and he wants
us to love each other and takecare of each other.
And so if I go to the Lord andask the Lord to help me love my
(06:16):
husband, that is a prayer hewill always answer.
Now I put together a resource, afree resource, for you guys.
If you go, if you'll look inthe show notes, I'll leave a
link to a PDF file I puttogether.
It's called seven powerfulprayers to pray over your
husband.
So if you don't currently prayfor your husband or you're not
(06:39):
sure how to start, maybe that'llgive you a little boost, maybe
that'll help point you in theright direction, at least help
you start.
And, like I said, it's calledSeven Powerful Prayers to Pray
Over your Husband and I'll putthat link in the show notes and
it's just a resource to help getyou started.
So the first thing that yourhusband needs from you is he
needs your prayers.
(06:59):
The second thing that he needsfrom you is your respect.
The Bible is very clear thatwives are to respect their
husbands and that is a need.
That is a need that yourhusband has.
Now I understand that sometimesyour husband is going to act in
a way that doesn't necessarilydeserve respect.
(07:20):
Maybe you don't think yourhusband is worthy of respect, of
respect.
Maybe you don't think yourhusband is worthy of respect,
but you're not respecting himbecause of who he is and what he
does.
You're respecting him becauseGod asks you to Don't use his
failures or his shortcomings asan excuse to withhold your
(07:43):
respect from him, hisshortcomings as an excuse to
withhold your respect from him.
You know, just like you don'twant him to withhold his love
from you.
You don't want your husband towithhold his love from you
because you don't do the thingsthat he wants you to do right.
That's manipulation.
To withhold love until a persongets it right or until a person
acts a certain way.
Well, it's the same.
(08:03):
With respect, we give himrespect because it's a need and
because the Lord has asked thatof us.
No-transcript we're beingobedient to the Lord and we're
meeting a need, a deep need thathe has, and it's a gift to him
(08:25):
and it's also an offering ofobedience to the Lord.
So the second thing that yourhusband needs from you is your
respect.
The third thing that he needsfrom you is he needs you to
believe the best of him.
He needs you to believe thebest of him.
He needs you to believe goodthings about him.
You married your husband for areason.
(08:46):
There were things that youliked about him, there were
things that you loved about him.
There were things you respectedabout him, and he needs you to
remember those things and tobelieve those things.
Now he needs you to believe inhim.
He goes into a world every day.
We do too.
I don't discount that.
But he goes into a world everyday that is constantly
(09:09):
bombarding him with thoughts ofI'm not good enough, can I do
this?
Do I have what it takes?
Do I have what it takes?
And we need to be his biggestcheerleader.
He needs you to believe in him.
There was a season in ourmarriage, many years ago, when
(09:31):
the Lord was dealing with meabout the way that I was showing
up for my husband, the things Iwas expecting of him and the
things that I ignored aboutmyself.
But sometimes I held him to ahigher standard than I did
myself, and the Lord reminded methat I need to remember the
(09:56):
reason that I married him, thethings I fell in love about, the
reasons I fell in love with him, his good qualities, and for a
long time, every day in myjournal I would write down two
or three things that I lovedabout him and that I appreciated
about him, and so what it didwas it got my eyes on his good
(10:18):
qualities, Because in everydaylife, when we're busy and we got
stress and things going on, itcan be really easy to forget the
good things, the things that hedoes without being asked, the
qualities that you admire abouthim the most.
My husband is an excellentfather.
(10:39):
He's a wonderful father andsometimes in the hustle and
bustle I can forget that, andjust remembering that it helps
me to have grace in the areaswhere maybe he's not as strong.
And so I encourage you to dothat.
Do a little exercise for a week, two weeks I did it for months.
Just write in your journal twoor three things every day that
(11:02):
you admire about him, that youlove about him, that you
appreciate about him.
Maybe it's just something hedid that day, you know, maybe
it's just something that he said.
Whatever it is about yourhusband that you love, that you
admire, that you appreciate,write those things down to
remind yourself that, hey, I'vegot a good man, I've got a good
husband.
(11:23):
The fourth thing that yourhusband needs from you is your
encouragement.
See, not only is it importantthat you think good things about
him, but he needs to hear thosegood things.
He needs you to put thosethoughts, those good thoughts
about him, into words.
Encouragement is like fuel forthe soul.
We need encouragement.
(11:45):
In a world that is sodiscouraging, you would be
amazed at how far a little bitof encouragement will go.
And he needs you to put intowords good things.
And maybe you think it soundssilly or awkward, but I promise
you he needs it.
Sometimes I'll text my husbandin the middle of the day and
(12:06):
I'll just say something like Iam so glad you're my husband, I
got the best husband in theworld.
And then I can't see his eyesroll because sometimes if I say
that to his face it's just alittle more than he can bear.
But if I text it I can't seehis eye roll.
But I know he needs it.
Even though it's kind of likeprayer.
Even though he may not tell youhe needs it, he needs it.
(12:27):
And when we sow encouragementinto him and we encourage him,
it draws him near to us.
Nobody wants to be aroundsomebody who brings them down
all the time, intentionally orunintentionally.
Nobody wants to be around thatperson.
But we're drawn to people whothink well of us and who speak
(12:48):
good things over us, and so yourhusband needs your
encouragement.
He needs somebody to believe inhim, somebody who's on his side
, and when you speak those wordsout, then he knows you're that
person.
He needs a cheerleader, and Godhas given us a unique
opportunity to be his partner,to be his fan, to be the one who
(13:14):
says honey, I know you can dothis.
No, you can do this.
You know I always thought itwas important in Proverbs 31 and
verse 23.
And it says her husband isrespected at the city gate where
he takes his seat among theelders of the land.
And just the fact that it'smentioned in Psalm 31 that her
(13:38):
husband has this position InPsalm 31, that her husband has
this position, it's attributingpart of that to her, because the
whole passage is about a godlywoman, about a woman after God's
heart, and it's given her partof that credit.
And I think that when webelieve in our husbands, when we
(14:03):
encourage them, it helps themto believe in themselves and to
step out and to do things thathe may not otherwise do if he
didn't have somebody in thebackground saying I believe in
you, I know you can do this.
So number one is your husbandneeds your prayers.
Number two is your husbandneeds your respect.
Number three is your husbandneeds you respect.
Number three is your husbandneeds you to believe the best of
(14:24):
him.
And number four is your husbandneeds your encouragement.
And the fifth thing that yourhusband needs from you is he
needs you to help set him up forsuccess.
Now, what do I mean by that?
I'll admit it.
There were times in our marriageearly on when I set my husband
(14:45):
up for failure.
I wanted him to make me feel acertain way or do certain things
, and I didn't alwayscommunicate those things.
But when he did not meet myexpectations, I didn't know what
to do.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
I withdrew or I let him knowthat I was disappointed.
And after a while of doing that, of not believing the best
(15:10):
things about him, of believingthat he didn't love me enough or
he didn't treat me the way thatI felt like he should treat me,
after a while of that, he stopsand the Lord started dealing
with me about.
You are setting him up forfailure.
There are unspoken expectationsand you want him to guess what
(15:36):
you need and what you want, andthen, when he doesn't guess
correctly, you hold it againsthim.
Now I hope you don't do thatand I'm bearing my soul by
telling you that I have donethat.
Your husband needs you tobelieve the best in him, that
his intentions are right, thathe wants to do a good job, and
he also needs your help inknowing what that looks like Now
(15:58):
.
For example, there were days,there were seasons, when I
wanted my husband to take me ona date night and I might throw
around clues, but I wanted himto take the bait, like I would
throw him the bait, but hedidn't always recognize it, and
(16:18):
so I would be pouty orfrustrated or angry because he
didn't do the things I felt likea good husband would do.
But the truth is, I was notcommunicating my needs to him,
and the Lord showed me you arebeing petty and you need to go
to him and say, hey, I need this.
(16:39):
And if it takes it, you need toput it on the calendar and tell
him this day, this.
And if it takes it, you need toput it on the calendar and tell
him this day, this night, don'tmake any plans on this night,
we're going to go do something.
Now you may say that takes allthe romance out of it.
(16:59):
Well, maybe so, but what isyour goal?
I mean, is your goal to spendtime with him, or is your goal
for him to be somebody that he'snot?
And he did not think that way.
To him he was just fine stayinghome and he had worked all week
and he was just fine withstaying home and watching TV To
him.
That was just a wonderful wayto end the week.
He had no idea that I neededone-on-one time, intentional
(17:23):
time, just with him.
Now and see, even now you maythink, oh, how could he not know
that?
Because that was not his need,it was my need.
The Lord started showing me.
Set him up for success, audrey.
You're setting him up forfailure.
You know you're putting outunrealistic expectations and
then after a while he stopstrying to please you because you
can't be pleased.
(17:44):
And so be pleasable, if thatmakes sense.
Be pleasable, believe that hewants to be a good husband and
that he's trying, and help himto be a good husband.
Help him to be a good father.
Believe in him.
And that wraps up our finalepisode on marriage and I hope
(18:05):
that this has been anencouragement to you and a
blessing.
God bless and I hope you have awonderful day.
Hello friends, welcome back to Grace for my Home.
I'm so glad you've joined mehere again this week and I hope
that you're doing well.
We are doing great.
Soccer season has started up,so we're pretty busy.
That's the fun part of workingat a coffee shop is coming up
with drink ideas and finding outwhat people like and those kind
(00:24):
of things.
That's the fun part.
Today we're finishing up on ourseries on marriage and this week
I want to share with you fivethings that your husband needs
(00:44):
from you.
You know, marriage is good.
Marriage is good because Godcreated it and he knows what we
need In marriage.
God gives us a partner, hegives us a friend, he gives us
somebody to do life with.
It's a precious gift, but anyperson who's ever been married
(01:05):
knows that it's not easy.
The Bible says when a man and awoman come together in marriage
that they become one, andbecoming one is not easy.
We both have a sinful nature,we both have a past, we both
have issues, we have hurts, wehave things we're trying to deal
with and, at the same time,trying to come together and
(01:28):
raise a family, trying to loveeach other, meet each other's
needs.
It's not easy, and so thethings I'm going to share with
you today, I want to just goahead and say it out the gate.
I understand this is one-sided.
I'm sharing with you today thethings your husband needs from
you, and something the Lorddealt with me early in my
(01:52):
marriage is that I can't changemy husband.
No matter how much I want to,no matter how much I try, no
matter what techniques I use, Icannot change him.
I can pray for him and I canask the Lord to deal with his
heart in the areas where heneeds to change, but God does
(02:13):
not give me the ability or thepower to change him.
And when I try, I'm frustratedand he's frustrated.
But I also found out that I dohave influence.
There are things that I can doin my marriage that help, that
make things go better, that makethings go smoother, that
(02:36):
restores the goodwill between meand my husband, that kind of
relieves tension and makes theatmosphere of our home better.
Now, that doesn't mean it's allup to me.
He has his own part to play,but I can't play that part for
him.
So what I'm sharing with youtoday are things that you can do
.
I'm not saying that these fivethings completely alleviate his
(03:00):
responsibility.
I'm not saying that at all.
I'm saying this is what you cando, this is what I can do, this
is what we can do.
You know, your marriage is notjust between you and your
husband.
It's between you and yourhusband and the Lord.
And so today, as I offer theseto you, I just want to be very
frank up front.
I don't give you this as in youknow, everything rests on your
(03:24):
shoulders, but you do have apart to play, and so my prayer
is that these would give youideas, would give you hope,
would give you, you know, anunderstanding that you know we
can't do our husband's part, butwe can do our part when it
comes to making our marriagestrong.
The first thing that yourhusband needs from you in
(03:45):
marriage is your prayers.
Now, he may not ask you to prayfor him, but trust me, he needs
it.
We have an enemy who hatesmarriage, and our first line of
defense is prayer.
When we pray, we bring God intoour marriage.
We give God a pathway to comein and to deal with our hearts
(04:07):
and with our husband.
The funny thing about prayer isthat we start praying what we
want and what we see and what wethink, we pray about these
things.
But God has a way of takingthat time in prayer and dealing
with our hearts.
We may come to the Lord becauseof something that we don't like
or we think should change or bea certain way, but a lot of
(04:28):
times when I've done that in mymarriage, the Lord has put his
hand or put his finger on myheart and showed me.
Well, you know what.
Maybe he does need to change inthis area, but maybe you need
to change in this area.
Now, I don't necessarily likethat, but I'd rather live in the
truth than pretend that I'mperfect and he's not, because I
(04:51):
really do want a strong marriage, even though sometimes it's not
easy.
Sometimes marriage has a way ofshowing us who we really are.
There's this person who wethink we are and then when we
get married, it's like, oh, Ihave a lot of areas that I need
to grow in, and I didn't realizehow immature I was until I got
(05:12):
married and I thought I waspretty mature.
And then I got married and Iwas like, oh, ok, well, maybe
not, maybe I do have some areasI can work on.
But when we go to the Lord inprayer for our marriage.
He works in our marriage and heworks in us.
Also, another thing about prayeris it's hard to stay mad at
(05:32):
somebody when you'reconsistently praying for them.
You know, when you're coming tothe Lord with a sincere heart,
asking Him to bless someone,asking Him to work in somebody's
heart, in somebody's life, it'shard to stay mad at that person
.
And you know, one of my prayershas always been Lord, give me
your love for my husband.
I have my love for him and youknow the reasons I fell in love
(05:55):
with him and I married him.
But I know that you see him alot differently than I do.
Give me your love for him.
Let me see him through youreyes, because he's, you know,
god is not just my father, he'smy husband's father and he wants
us to love each other and takecare of each other.
And so if I go to the Lord andask the Lord to help me love my
(06:16):
husband, that is a prayer hewill always answer.
Now I put together a resource, afree resource, for you guys.
If you go, if you'll look inthe show notes, I'll leave a
link to a PDF file I puttogether.
It's called seven powerfulprayers to pray over your
husband.
So if you don't currently prayfor your husband or you're not
(06:39):
sure how to start, maybe that'llgive you a little boost, maybe
that'll help point you in theright direction, at least help
you start.
And, like I said, it's calledSeven Powerful Prayers to Pray
Over your Husband and I'll putthat link in the show notes and
it's just a resource to help getyou started.
So the first thing that yourhusband needs from you is he
needs your prayers.
(06:59):
The second thing that he needsfrom you is your respect.
The Bible is very clear thatwives are to respect their
husbands and that is a need.
That is a need that yourhusband has.
Now I understand that sometimesyour husband is going to act in
a way that doesn't necessarilydeserve respect.
(07:20):
Maybe you don't think yourhusband is worthy of respect, of
respect.
Maybe you don't think yourhusband is worthy of respect,
but you're not respecting himbecause of who he is and what he
does.
You're respecting him becauseGod asks you to Don't use his
failures or his shortcomings asan excuse to withhold your
(07:43):
respect from him, hisshortcomings as an excuse to
withhold your respect from him.
You know, just like you don'twant him to withhold his love
from you.
You don't want your husband towithhold his love from you
because you don't do the thingsthat he wants you to do right.
That's manipulation.
To withhold love until a persongets it right or until a person
acts a certain way.
Well, it's the same.
(08:03):
With respect, we give himrespect because it's a need and
because the Lord has asked thatof us.
No-transcript we're beingobedient to the Lord and we're
meeting a need, a deep need thathe has, and it's a gift to him
(08:25):
and it's also an offering ofobedience to the Lord.
So the second thing that yourhusband needs from you is your
respect.
The third thing that he needsfrom you is he needs you to
believe the best of him.
He needs you to believe thebest of him.
He needs you to believe goodthings about him.
You married your husband for areason.
(08:46):
There were things that youliked about him, there were
things that you loved about him.
There were things you respectedabout him, and he needs you to
remember those things and tobelieve those things.
Now he needs you to believe inhim.
He goes into a world every day.
We do too.
I don't discount that.
But he goes into a world everyday that is constantly
(09:09):
bombarding him with thoughts ofI'm not good enough, can I do
this?
Do I have what it takes?
Do I have what it takes?
And we need to be his biggestcheerleader.
He needs you to believe in him.
There was a season in ourmarriage, many years ago, when
(09:31):
the Lord was dealing with meabout the way that I was showing
up for my husband, the things Iwas expecting of him and the
things that I ignored aboutmyself.
But sometimes I held him to ahigher standard than I did
myself, and the Lord reminded methat I need to remember the
(09:56):
reason that I married him, thethings I fell in love about, the
reasons I fell in love with him, his good qualities, and for a
long time, every day in myjournal I would write down two
or three things that I lovedabout him and that I appreciated
about him, and so what it didwas it got my eyes on his good
(10:18):
qualities, Because in everydaylife, when we're busy and we got
stress and things going on, itcan be really easy to forget the
good things, the things that hedoes without being asked, the
qualities that you admire abouthim the most.
My husband is an excellentfather.
(10:39):
He's a wonderful father andsometimes in the hustle and
bustle I can forget that, andjust remembering that it helps
me to have grace in the areaswhere maybe he's not as strong.
And so I encourage you to dothat.
Do a little exercise for a week, two weeks I did it for months.
Just write in your journal twoor three things every day that
(11:02):
you admire about him, that youlove about him, that you
appreciate about him.
Maybe it's just something hedid that day, you know, maybe
it's just something that he said.
Whatever it is about yourhusband that you love, that you
admire, that you appreciate,write those things down to
remind yourself that, hey, I'vegot a good man, I've got a good
husband.
(11:23):
The fourth thing that yourhusband needs from you is your
encouragement.
See, not only is it importantthat you think good things about
him, but he needs to hear thosegood things.
He needs you to put thosethoughts, those good thoughts
about him, into words.
Encouragement is like fuel forthe soul.
We need encouragement.
(11:45):
In a world that is sodiscouraging, you would be
amazed at how far a little bitof encouragement will go.
And he needs you to put intowords good things.
And maybe you think it soundssilly or awkward, but I promise
you he needs it.
Sometimes I'll text my husbandin the middle of the day and
(12:06):
I'll just say something like Iam so glad you're my husband, I
got the best husband in theworld.
And then I can't see his eyesroll because sometimes if I say
that to his face it's just alittle more than he can bear.
But if I text it I can't seehis eye roll.
But I know he needs it.
Even though it's kind of likeprayer.
Even though he may not tell youhe needs it, he needs it.
(12:27):
And when we sow encouragementinto him and we encourage him,
it draws him near to us.
Nobody wants to be aroundsomebody who brings them down
all the time, intentionally orunintentionally.
Nobody wants to be around thatperson.
But we're drawn to people whothink well of us and who speak
(12:48):
good things over us, and so yourhusband needs your
encouragement.
He needs somebody to believe inhim, somebody who's on his side
, and when you speak those wordsout, then he knows you're that
person.
He needs a cheerleader, and Godhas given us a unique
opportunity to be his partner,to be his fan, to be the one who
(13:14):
says honey, I know you can dothis.
No, you can do this.
You know I always thought itwas important in Proverbs 31 and
verse 23.
And it says her husband isrespected at the city gate where
he takes his seat among theelders of the land.
And just the fact that it'smentioned in Psalm 31 that her
(13:38):
husband has this position InPsalm 31, that her husband has
this position, it's attributingpart of that to her, because the
whole passage is about a godlywoman, about a woman after God's
heart, and it's given her partof that credit.
And I think that when webelieve in our husbands, when we
(14:03):
encourage them, it helps themto believe in themselves and to
step out and to do things thathe may not otherwise do if he
didn't have somebody in thebackground saying I believe in
you, I know you can do this.
So number one is your husbandneeds your prayers.
Number two is your husbandneeds your respect.
Number three is your husbandneeds you respect.
Number three is your husbandneeds you to believe the best of
(14:24):
him.
And number four is your husbandneeds your encouragement.
And the fifth thing that yourhusband needs from you is he
needs you to help set him up forsuccess.
Now, what do I mean by that?
I'll admit it.
There were times in our marriageearly on when I set my husband
(14:45):
up for failure.
I wanted him to make me feel acertain way or do certain things
, and I didn't alwayscommunicate those things.
But when he did not meet myexpectations, I didn't know what
to do.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
I didn't know what to do.
I withdrew or I let him knowthat I was disappointed.
And after a while of doing that, of not believing the best
(15:10):
things about him, of believingthat he didn't love me enough or
he didn't treat me the way thatI felt like he should treat me,
after a while of that, he stopsand the Lord started dealing
with me about.
You are setting him up forfailure.
There are unspoken expectationsand you want him to guess what
(15:36):
you need and what you want, andthen, when he doesn't guess
correctly, you hold it againsthim.
Now I hope you don't do thatand I'm bearing my soul by
telling you that I have donethat.
Your husband needs you tobelieve the best in him, that
his intentions are right, thathe wants to do a good job, and
he also needs your help inknowing what that looks like Now
(15:58):
.
For example, there were days,there were seasons, when I
wanted my husband to take me ona date night and I might throw
around clues, but I wanted himto take the bait, like I would
throw him the bait, but hedidn't always recognize it, and
(16:18):
so I would be pouty orfrustrated or angry because he
didn't do the things I felt likea good husband would do.
But the truth is, I was notcommunicating my needs to him,
and the Lord showed me you arebeing petty and you need to go
to him and say, hey, I need this.
(16:39):
And if it takes it, you need toput it on the calendar and tell
him this day, this.
And if it takes it, you need toput it on the calendar and tell
him this day, this night, don'tmake any plans on this night,
we're going to go do something.
Now you may say that takes allthe romance out of it.
(16:59):
Well, maybe so, but what isyour goal?
I mean, is your goal to spendtime with him, or is your goal
for him to be somebody that he'snot?
And he did not think that way.
To him he was just fine stayinghome and he had worked all week
and he was just fine withstaying home and watching TV To
him.
That was just a wonderful wayto end the week.
He had no idea that I neededone-on-one time, intentional
(17:23):
time, just with him.
Now and see, even now you maythink, oh, how could he not know
that?
Because that was not his need,it was my need.
The Lord started showing me.
Set him up for success, audrey.
You're setting him up forfailure.
You know you're putting outunrealistic expectations and
then after a while he stopstrying to please you because you
can't be pleased.
(17:44):
And so be pleasable, if thatmakes sense.
Be pleasable, believe that hewants to be a good husband and
that he's trying, and help himto be a good husband.
Help him to be a good father.
Believe in him.
And that wraps up our finalepisode on marriage and I hope
(18:05):
that this has been anencouragement to you and a
blessing.
God bless and I hope you have awonderful day.
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