Awakening to New Realities with Mycailin Callahan

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brian D. Smith (00:00):
Everybody.
This is Brian, back withanother episode of Grief to
Growth, and today I've got withme Michaeline Callahan, or
Caller's or Friends Caller.
She grew up as a mystic whocalmly experienced ecstasies
from the age of five under theguidance of her daemon, michael,
and we'll talk about what adaemon or daemon is.
By the age of 15, she'd becomean empiricist.

(00:21):
She'd set Michael aside as herchildhood imaginary friend.
However, at the age of 20, shehad an NDE, and she found
Michael again in what she callsthe lustrous void, where Michael
gave her a life review that wasso redemptive she had to return
to tell everyone.
So this was in 1978, though, andthe world wasn't ready for the
message.

(00:41):
So fast forward, 45 years later, and she feels that the world
is ready because Michael hasbrought her so much through and
brought her so much and restoredher vigor so that she, at the
age of 65, could complete themission she rushed back for in
1978.
So since then, after comingthrough along illness, she's

(01:01):
written several books.
We're going to talk about someof her books, and she is going
around telling people about herstory and about her experiences.
So, with that, I'm reallyexcited to finally have
Michaeline Callahan on Grief toGrowth.

Mycailin Mohr (01:17):
I'm great yeah.
I'm excited to be here as well,Mariah.

Yeah, we've been Facebook friends for a while
and I've seen a couple of yourinterviews and I'm really, as I
said, interested in sharing yourstory with everyone else.
You talk about your guide,michael, who you say you've been
connected with from a veryearly age.
So tell me about that earlyconnection through your NDE,
when you were 20.

Okay, that's really critical too, because now
, as I look back at 65, I cansee the trajectory of the path,
the actual curriculum Michaelhas had all this time, and it's
really in concert with the themeof your show Grief to Growth.
What he has been teaching meall along is to become lucid,

(02:07):
which is defined a particularway by Michael to become lucid
in the dream of the world andrealize that every time I think
I'm suffering or I'm frightened,or I'm angry, or I'm imagining
myself unloved, unseen, that itis like a token or a cue to wake

(02:30):
me up to the understanding thatI have lost my lucidity in the
dream of the world and I haveimagined myself as some sort of
being who can suffer loss anddie.
Okay, let's back up, becausewe're going to return to that.
That's an ongoing theme.
As a child, there was apedophile in my family not my

(02:52):
direct family, it was mygranduncle and my father had a
very bad temper because he hadbeen abused as a young boy and
so my mother regularly wouldtake me and leave me at her
mother's house or at her aunt'shouse.
Her aunt was wonderful, neverhad any problems there.

(03:13):
Grandmother and grandfather onher side wonderful, but they had
an outboard motor business andthey worked on it, sometimes
even on the weekends, andgrandmother would leave me at
her brother's house and herbrother was the pedophile
unbeknownst to them apparently.
I choose to believe she did notknow.

(03:34):
I met Michael the first time inmy psyche and this is the first
time the grief to growth themecomes up.
I met him the first time when Iwas five years old.
I was around Easter and I wasattempting to hide from Alfred
that was the pedophile, and Iwas wearing my Easter dress and

(03:59):
Sunday shoes and it was nothingto climb in.
We were very poor family andthese were some of my best
clothes and I didn't want toruin them, and I was always.
We were always made to becognizant of our clothes lest we
destroy them because they wereso expensive, particularly shoes
, and I had, on these littleslick, sold Sunday shoes and I

(04:22):
knew I was never going to get upthe tree.
That Michael suddenly came intomy consciousness as this
incredibly intelligent presencethat I could feel and I could.
He wasn't speaking in words, hewas speaking in concepts and

(04:42):
speaking with a forceful love, alove that was not deniable.
His presence was palpable andhe directed me up this tree and
I argued with him internally andsaid I can't get up that tree
with these shoes on.
I'll break my shoes, I'll get aspanky.
Michael said, don't worry.
Basically, I'll show you whereto put your hands and feet.

(05:05):
I went to the tree.
And I went to the tree and,like, the handholds and the foot
placings were immediatelyobvious as they became necessary
, and I was guided up this tree.
And then my grand uncle passedby, looking for me, thrashing
the shrubbery which was a azaleahedges along the house, looking

(05:26):
for me because I had oftenhidden there and he had one
wooden leg, so he was thrashingthe shrubberies with his cane,
pushing them aside, looking forme, but it wasn't there.
This time it was up high.
There's a funny thing aboutpeople, you know, they don't
look up that much, so up high Ilearned to climb.
I learned to climb as a way ofhiding.
I do a lot of hiding in my life, but when the place where this

(05:50):
comes up is.
Yes, I was repeatedly assaultedby this pedophile, but there
were blessings in it and thefirst blessing was that I found
Michael.
And because I found Michael inmy psyche and there was a
connection established where Iwas anxious to hear from him.

(06:11):
Once you've felt this kind oflove, this ecstatic love,
descend over your psyche, youwant it more and it raises the
frisson, you know.
The hair stands up all overyour body and cheese spangles
all over.
You feel like angels aredancing all over your skin, or
God has just kissed you on thehead.
You don't know what hashappened, but it's so delicious

(06:35):
you just want to chase it.
You want it more and more.
And so this was a greatblessing because, as a
five-year-old, to be tuned sodeeply inward at that age where
you're looking and listeninginward literally my life, I went
through it looking to provokethe rushes of that chi, the

(06:56):
feeling of that presencedescending on me, and so if I
said or I even thought somethingand that phenomenon occurred, I
attended to it.
It was like he was teaching megoing Marco polo, marco polo, to
find him and to do whatsummoned the chi, my father

(07:19):
having the bad temper that hedid because of his terrible past
.
He and I had a contest of willsfor many years where I just kept
loving him and forgiving him,even though he blistered my bum
every day okay, every day untilI, between the ages of three and
eleven.

(07:39):
I got it some days twice, andhe would always weep afterwards
and say I'm so sorry, I'm sosorry, you deserve a better
father.
I hit you in anger.
I should never hit you in anger.
I said terrible, scary thingsto you in anger.
I should never speak to youthat way.
And so this incredible bondbetween daddy and I grew, and

(08:03):
over time dad became justsweeter and sweeter and sweeter,
and he respected me more andmore because I wouldn't lie to
him, no matter what hequestioned me on.
Did you do so?
And so, knowing I was going toget blistered, I would say yes
or I didn't.
Okay, because I couldn't lie.

(08:24):
First of all, I was a terribleliar.
It showed all over my face.
There was absolutely no pointin even trying and I knew I'd
get it worse if I did lie to himand he discerned it.
And also because I did not wantto offend Michael.
I did not want to offend thisloving presence whom I initially
thought was God.
Okay, now, technically, we'reall God, there's nothing here

(08:48):
but God, anyway.
So over the years, I would climbinto trees daily to try and get
it to rain.
I would sing to the sky in thesummer when it was too hot, we
had no air conditioning.
It was that long ago, yes,sorry.
And I would climb the trees inthe afternoon and sing to the

(09:13):
sky, hoping that if I pleasedGod with my song, he would bless
us with rain to cool thingsdown so we could all sing.
So I went until I was about 15years old, doing this almost
every day in the summer and Ithought it was me bringing the
rain.
And well, god bringing itbecause of my songs.

(09:39):
And then, at the age of 15, Ilearned about a weather
phenomenon called the BermudaHigh.
The Bermuda High is actuallyresponsible for the rains coming
every afternoon between fourand six in the summertime in
Florida had nothing to do withme and this kind of shocked me
into a reorientation.
All right, all what Iconsidered at that point.

(10:01):
Suddenly, that's magicalthinking.
I set it aside.
Okay, michael is not real,that's just something imaginary
that I made up because I hadsuch a tormented childhood.
Part of my greater self createdthis relationship and this
being, this presence.
Apparently this is, this wasthe thinking at the time.

(10:23):
So from 15 to 20, I tried a lotof drugs and I became an
empiricist and I became veryfocused in the physical.
I was always a very athleticchild and rash, because up until
15, I didn't think anything wasgoing to hurt me.
I appeared to be made of rubberor I had somebody looking after

(10:46):
me, absorbing all the blows forme and up until 15 and learning
about Bermuda High, I believedit was Michael.
So then at the age of 20, I wasout being rash, riding horseback
with a friend of mine.
I'd forgotten.
I was on a barrel mare namedticker, very gentle, 13 year old
horse, and I had forgotten tobring the feed for her and to

(11:09):
lure the male, the stallion thatI didn't want to ride, because
we didn't have a good rapport,me and the stallion.
He didn't like me but he likedmy friend.
So I was going to catch him forher and as I'd forgotten the
feed, I'm on ticker and I'msaying you know, I bet I can
maneuver him into the paddock,chasing him on ticker because

(11:30):
she's so maneuverable and thenwe'll catch him in the little
paddock.
And so I spun about on tickerand we went after this stallion
and I was in a hard run not a,not a full out run, a hard
gallop, I would say close behindthis stallion, very close and
he was a big horse.
He was over 17 hands andeverything.

(11:53):
I don't know if you hands arefour inches.
Four inches, so 17 times fourthe height of the shoulder.
Big horse, okay, almost sixfeet at the shoulder, and
everything slipped in the slowmotion.
Now I'm like in jockey styles,standing in the stirrups with my
knees bent, you know, with thesaddle hitting me in the bottom

(12:14):
on every stride and everythingsuddenly slips into slow motion.
Now, I've seen this by thistime many times in my life.
Things slip into slow motionwhenever something bad is about
to unfold for me, and generallyI know, with a few seconds lead,
what it's to be All right.
And Michael said to me he'skicking Again, without words.

(12:36):
This is just an announcedconcept, an announcing concept.
He is kicking me and I said hecan't get me up here.
Boy, was I wrong.
This is where he kicked me.
Okay, he hit me in the face.
I never felt the blow.
I watched the hooves comingtowards me in slow motion and

(12:57):
just before the impact, I left.
I rolled left out of my body.
I had been one to by locate as achild, very easily.
I would be, for instance,laying in bed and looking at a
window.
And suddenly I'm at the window,looking out the window, but my
body's laying in bed.

(13:17):
I can remember looking out thewindow, wanting to go out into
the yard and play, and that theneighbor had a turkey and a coop
behind my auntie's house.
And I'm standing at the windowand suddenly, whoosh, I'm
standing over the bird in thecage and, of course, my body's
still back in the bed.
So in this instance, here comesthe hoof I roll, left out of my

(13:38):
body.
It's not something I can do atwill.
It happens or it doesn't.
There I was about 150 feet away,somewhere between 100 and 150.
And I turn around and I lookback and I watched the horse
striding, watched the body letgo of the reins, the head
snapped back, it fell backwardsonto the rump of the horse and
it bounced a few times.

(14:00):
As the horse kept striding andI'm thinking, gosh, I hope the
feet don't get stuck in thestirrups.
And they didn't.
The body went over the back ofthe rump of the horse, landed on
its head and then the shouldersand the hips and the legs hit.
I was an illustrious vest and Ifelt perfect.

(14:22):
I felt so good.
I said to myself nothing, I'mperfect.
Nothing can ever hurt me again.
And suddenly, boom, I'm aware ofMichael, I feel his presence
and I hear him more or less sayto me nothing could have ever

(14:44):
hurt you to begin with.
You're an eternal being, okay?
Well, the interesting thing atthis point is that I can taste
not with my mouth but with mybeing the verity of what he's
saying.
Truth has a taste or a scent.
Like the scent of mashedpotatoes is wedded to the mashed

(15:08):
potatoes, to the actualphysical thing, so too truth has
its own taste.
Anyway, I knew right away he wastelling the truth.
And then he said well, thatbeing so, why was it also scary?
And he said because youbelieved you could suffer loss
and die.
But that was necessary too,because if you had not believed

(15:32):
you could suffer loss and die,you would have never taken the
experience seriously.
There wouldn't have been asmuch, so to speak, skin in the
game, and you wouldn't havelearned what you went there to
learn, nor would have you donewhat you went there to do.
And I said well, I don'tremember what I went there to do

(15:52):
.
Tell me what it is.
And he said you went to summonyour will.
Now I said summon my will.
You mean I went through all ofthat suffering just to learn or
discern what I want, and he saidno, you misunderstand what I
mean by the will.
Okay, this juncture I becameaware that there is individual

(16:13):
desire and then there is thewill.
That is holy, okay.
By holy, I mean it is holyshared by all creation.
All creation wills thistogether.
We have just forgotten that wewill it together.
And that will is that the venueand every point of
consciousness within it awakenand remember its true nature as

(16:39):
consciousness itself.
Because this puts us in ourexperience of our godly estate,
of being able to summon intowhat we call the real world.
Okay, that which we desire,which is different from the will

(16:59):
, okay.
Anything that is contrary tothe will that is holy is just
your personal desire.
There's nothing necessarilywrong with it, except for that
it keeps you from your fullattainment and it is perhaps
limiting others in theirattainment.
And that full attainment is toyour godly estate, so that the

(17:22):
physics and he assures me thiswill happen the physics of the
venue will change as we, ashumanity, have perfected,
perfected our benevolence sothat we can be trusted to wield
our wills without hurtingourselves or each other, and he
tells me this is the number onething that holds people back.

(17:44):
And all this attraction and allthis, okay, trying to get
things to manifest, etc.
That's all well and good, butif it's, if you want it to
actually happen, you have toperfect your benevolence, and
what you are willing or wishingfor must be in concert with the
will.
That is holy, because if it'snot, you are going to be in

(18:07):
conflict with the designer ofthe venue itself, and so it's
going to be detrimental to theawakening of the venue and
therefore detrimental to you.
So we are kind of in a rubberroom here where the we pray

(18:29):
things all the time, not knowingwe're praying them as we say
them.
You make me sick.
I am sick to my death with yourbehavior.
I am so fed up.
These are things we say toourselves which have
repercussions in reality, as wecall it.

(18:49):
Okay, jeff Thompson, I justwatched your interview with him
this morning.
He's really on to the truththat we speak into being many
things, even if we're notspeaking them out loud, not
realizing what we're doing, andthat we need to be more mindful

(19:10):
of the energy we're hurling outinto space, because this is the
purview of a conscious creator,of an awakened creator, of a
lucid creator.
So anyway, during this NDE, thefirst thing he did, when he said
he had to show me, was he sentme to back down into the dream
of the world, reliving a part ofmy life where I was 18 months

(19:34):
old and mom was putting on me myfirst set of new shoes, and
this was a big deal to mom.
I lived this through mom'sperspective and mine is an 18
month old laying on the floorscreaming because I thought she
tied me to the ground.
I didn't understand why I hadthese stiff, nasty things on my
little dainty feet, but wantedto feel the earth, not the shoes

(19:59):
.
So mom, at the same time, hadgone through a lot of trouble to
set aside the money to getthese shoes for me to protect my
feet.
So I saw in this being thechild and feeling through my
mother and watching all of us atthe same time.
It was very interesting.

(20:20):
You relive it and youexperience it from everyone's
point of view and watching ittoo.
The shoes have been given toprotect my feet and I, by the
labels I had assigned to theexperience, had made it the
horrible situation that it wasto me.
The horrible situation Iexperienced was entirely of my

(20:43):
own creation.
Suddenly, with this realization,I'm back with Michael and the
luster stass and I'm like did Iget that right?
Is that what you're trying toshow me?
That is indeed what he wastrying to show me.
So if I had seen the blessingat that time for that
tribulation, I'd have been ableto turn the grief to growth.
I'd have been able to turn thepoison to an elixir.

(21:05):
You can still do it inretrospect, you can do it years
down the line by reassigningyourself lucidly, consciously,
the significance that you giveto an event Once you find the
blessing in it.
You know, because it'sautomatically the thing that
lifts the burden of the grieffrom your heart.

(21:26):
It happens automatically.
You have found the boonsufficient to justify that
suffering.
So another venue, anothervignette happened, and it was of
struggling with Alfred, offighting Alfred and of knowing
Michael's presence with me inthat event, of feeling him, of

(21:49):
leaving my body over and overagain when this abuse happens.
And it happened.
And I learned from that.
Not only that, I wasaccompanied and that I had this
incredible resource, michael,his love, his ever present love
and his redemptive sight.
He could look upon things andshow me the blessings outside of

(22:11):
time.
I did not have to wait as fardown the time stream.
If I would listen to him, Iwouldn't have to do it as much.
In retrospect it could happenas it happened.
I could understand or I could.
And this is what I adviseeverybody is what I learned from
this preserve judgment, don'tlabel it at all, wait and see.

(22:33):
Wait and see how it rebounds.
So the third back with Michael.
I went into the luster's vas,asked him do I get this right?
And I found the boon was youand that I learned that I was
not my body.
I learned, I began to learn Iwas not my body because whenever
anyone would touch me my dadspanking me, alfred abusing me I

(22:58):
would say to myself he cannottouch me, he can touch my body,
he cannot sully me, he cannoteven touch me, Right.
So that is what I learned fromthat and that is a beautiful
boon to realize you're not thiswarm.
The next vignette my dad waswearing a switch out on my legs

(23:23):
and the same thing happenedagain and again.
I mean, it was not just oneepisode of dad hitting me with a
switch, it was many.
That I relived as a sort ofthis sort of event.
This sort of event happened somany times, but I realized each
time I just left my body when itwas happening again.

(23:45):
I am not my body.
Okay, so I had found thisescape, hatch Out, I'd go.
So from these I learned thateverything that happens to us is
actually happening for us.
People say why is there so muchsuffering?
Well, your memory is not beingwiped before you get here.

(24:09):
There is no river life.
I take that directly fromMichael.
There's no river offorgetfulness.
The reason you don't rememberis very simple.
The human brain, when you'reborn, takes almost 30 years to
mature and during that 30 yearsyour brain, which is a
mechanistic, chemically workingthing, orients you to live in

(24:34):
this venue.
It orients you to believeyou're a body, to believe you're
your family, to believe yourpets, to believe you're your
house, your neighborhood, yourfriends, okay, all of the things
that are important to thebody's survival.
But nobody wants you to forget.
They want you to wake up, theywant you to remember.

(24:57):
That's why there's so muchsuffering.
Every time you suffer, it's anopportunity to wake up.
In fact it should be like atoken to you saying wake up,
wake up.
You've lost your lucidity.
You think you're something thatcan suffer loss and die.
But there's something in thisfor you, because you're an
eternal divine being who camehere to awaken the whole world

(25:22):
to the fact that they'redreaming.
Now dying was exactly likeawakening from a dispiriting
dream.
You know you wake up from a baddream.
You think, oh my God, I'm soglad I don't.
My existence comes from ahigher level and nothing in that
dream can actually hurt me.
That's exactly what it was likewhen I died.

(25:43):
It was holy smoke.
At this point I'm going.
Nothing in the dream of theworld could have ever hurt me at
all.
That is amazing, okay.
And everything that hurt mehurt me because of the labels I
assigned.
Everything I suffered Isuffered because I made it with
my labels, the situation that itwas for me.

(26:07):
Other people were having acompletely different experience.
Shazam Mom was putting shoes onmy feet because she loved me,
okay.
So at this point I'm laughing.
I'm laughing because people dothis to ourselves constantly.
Michael and I are just roaringwith laughter at the way we play
this prank on ourselves.

(26:29):
This is a prank.
It's very funny from outside ofthe prank.
When you get into your eternalperspective.
You're going to go.
Hey, that was hysterical.
I can't believe I did that tomyself, right?
Because from there it's funny,but from within the venue not so
funny.
But it's supposed to wake youup.
Okay Now, because I was goingthrough all this stuff as a

(26:53):
child, I had bad nightmaresevery night.
I didn't want to go to sleep.
Michael started coming into mynightmares and making me lose it
in the dream.
Why are you running?
I'd be running from monsters.
Why are you running?
Because the monsters are goingto get me.
They're chasing me.
And he would say no, they'renot chasing you.
They're coming out to greet you.

(27:14):
You made those monsters, yousummoned them into being.
They're coming out.
They're coming to you to showyou that you're the power that
created them.
They're trying to show youwhere the power is.
Now.
This never really sunk into myawareness, into my being, until
over time.
Many times, like in thenear-death experience, I became

(27:37):
lucid, looking back on the world, saying it's just a dream.
This is lucidity.
I became aware of my owncreative ability.
That I had been doingunconsciously before, by
labeling situations in such away that they were painful to me
, instead of not judging orlabeling it in the way I chose

(27:57):
to see it consciously.
Jeff Thompson was saying he'sin the space between the
judgments.
He is the space between thejudgments.
He isn't in it.
He is that space and that's thenext level you move to
realizing.
You are that consciousnessitself in which all of this is

(28:21):
unfolding.
The way out is in and you'rethe portal.
So we laughed and we laughedabout what an incredible joke
we're playing on ourselvesbecause we're godlings, making
ourselves miserable or makingourselves happy by the way we
wield our wills to labelsituations.

(28:43):
And then we wept.
And we wept because it's atragedy that people wield their
godly estate unconsciously andmake themselves miserable.
This was the source of all ofthe suffering in the world.
They could all be stopped ifpeople just learn to become

(29:04):
lucid in the dream of the worldand consciously supervise their
mind, instead of letting theirmind impersonate them with a
whole bunch of scary thoughtsthat get triggered in situations
that remind you of some badthing that happened before and
letting those scary thoughts,full of energy and passion,

(29:25):
because they're born of somesort of trauma run away with you
in the present moment, the onlyway anything from your past
gets into your future is throughnow, your present moment.
So you have to choose tosupervise your mind.
And Michael, in my last reallybig revelation with him in 2007,

(29:48):
said to me remember, I taughtyou to be lucid as a child in
your nightmares.
Remember, I taught you aboutlucidity when you died.
Now I'm telling you, anytimeyou imagine yourself some
suffering, sad, pained being.
You have forgotten what you are.

(30:10):
You have descended intoidentification with a character.
You're playing in a temporaldream and when you leave here,
you're going to remember you arenot that being, you are this
consciousness.
You are consciousness, okay,itself, you are awareness.

(30:31):
So now he says to me anythingthat upsets you.
You need to remember it, youneed to use it as the thing that
makes you lucid.
Aha, I'm in pain, emotional pain.
What am I saying?
What is my mind saying tomyself that is generating this

(30:52):
pain?
Okay, because usually your mindis lying to you.
Your mind is telling you somepast situation that was
dangerous, sad, hurtful,whatever injurious, is back,
it's back, it's happening again,and it's usually not.
You're having an irrationalresponse to a present situation

(31:14):
because of a past event that hasbeen triggered and is now
impersonating you, you, theconsciousness, using the energy
of your godly estate to createan experience you don't want.
And that's the way it actuallyfactually works.
And once you discover thatyou're the one doing it to

(31:36):
yourself, with the labels youapply, you become the space
between in which all of thisunfolds and cannot really hurt
you.
So with this, I said to him myGod, this is also clear.
It's also perfect and beautiful.
The suffering wakes us toremember our true identity.

(31:58):
We stop being programmed by ourbrain's maturation process to
identify with all the stuff weare not.
And, realizing this, I thought Ihave to go back.
I have to go back, michael.
How do I go back?
I have to tell everybody how doI go back.
And he said well, you can goback anywhere you want.
Now, this took me years torealize how critical what he

(32:21):
said next was.
He said you can go back anyplace you want.
You can go back into the momentbefore the accident occurred
and avoid the accidentaltogether and live your time
stream having never had thisaccident.
But if you go back that way,you will not recall what I just
showed you and you only want togo back to tell everybody this,

(32:43):
so that they too can be free.
So in order to go back and keepthese memories as part of that
time stream, you must go backthrough the last moment and
re-inhabit the damaged body asit is in that time stream.
That way you will keep thememories.
So I said well, how do I do it?

(33:05):
He said remember the lastmoment you were in your body,
and that was easy.
It was the rump coming up inthe air and him saying he is
kicking, and then summon yourwill to return.
Okay, this is what he said Icame here to do to summon my
will.
And he meant the will that isholy.
And the will that is holy isthe manifestation of the golden

(33:26):
timeline where the venue itselfand every point of consciousness
within it wakens to beingconscious, to being lucid.
All right, so I did exactlywhat he directed.
I remembered the last moment.
I willed passionately to goback, because I was full of love

(33:48):
for everybody in the venue, butespecially for the thousands of
people that I saw were, like me, coming into the venue and
having NDE's to give it areorientation, to refresh their
memory of who and what we allreally are, so that they could
bring that memory back andjostle everybody else and say,

(34:09):
hey, wake up, wake up, we'redoing this to ourselves and
we're doing it together, okay,and we can wake up together.
So, bam, I was back in thedream of the world, felt like
the rushing of the wind, pardonme and there I was, back in my
body trying to make it stand up.
That's my NDE.

(34:31):
The messages of that NDE I'm 65now have matured over time.
It's like he planted, like hedid first of all.
It's like he took my old beliefsystem.
Your belief system limits yourperceptions.
Your belief system limits yourability to grow in many ways,

(34:52):
okay.
And what he did was shatter theedges of my empiricist mind
Okay.
He took it apart so that hecould rearrange the connections
between the dots of my ownreckonings, okay, and give me a
broader, more expansive view.
Over time and over the years,he's prepared my mind to be able

(35:16):
to accept larger and largerchunks of understanding of the
way this works and what thepurpose of my still being here
is.
Because after you've hadexperiences like that, the
world's pretty mundane and youkeep saying, okay, when am I
going to do the thing I cameback here to do?
Because I'm ready to get out.
When you're ready to let me out?

(35:37):
Okay, I still.
I walk.
I walk outside in electricalstorms.
Now I'm not scared anymore.
If he wants me, he can have meand I don't think he wants to
take me out because, as he says,you're lucid now.
Only a lucid dreamer can changethe dream.
We want you to stay in thedream.

I'm excited to announce I have a great new
resource.
It's called Gems Four Steps toMove from Grief to Joy.
And what it is.
It's four things that I'vefound that I do on a daily basis
to help me to navigate my grief, and I'm offering it to you
free of charge.
It's a free download.
Just go to my website,wwwgrieftogrowthcom.

(36:16):
Slash gems G, e, m, s and grabit there for free, I hope you
enjoy it.

Okay, we've prepared you all this time.
Now we need you to stay in thedream.
So that's kind of where I amnow, but I will say a lot on the
thing that has most matured.
My settlement in awareness ofwhat I am was last year I took

(36:46):
myself off Lexapro, which is anSSRI under doctor supervision.
Okay, the Lexapro was notplaying pretty with my other
medications and it nearly killedme a few times and I with drug
interactions, and I was in hellfiguratively speaking, but very

(37:13):
real hell because the suicidalimpulse was chronic.
I'm not talking about ideation,I'm talking about impulse.
I took myself almost completelyoff my pain medication at the
same time because the painmedication was mixing with the
Lexaprotocos serotonin syndrome,which is what nearly killed me

(37:37):
over and over again, untilfinally we died.
I figured if Michael told mewhat it was.
I looked it up, I called thedoctor and, sure enough, they
said yeah, that's what's beenall this time, isn't that
interesting?
Anyway, the nerve endingsthroughout your body scream.
You feel like you've got theflu.
Everything hurts way worse thanit should.

(37:59):
Constant suicidal impulse.
It feels like it felt to me,like I was being stabbed all
over with tiny little stainlesssteel cocktail knives, the
swords you know the littlecocktail swords Okay, that's
what it felt like All over mymuscles.
So not only was I sick, it feltlike the flu and in a lot of

(38:21):
physical pain unless nerve pain,the stabbing sword feeling but
the suicidal impulse wasconstant, constant, just like
your brain says roll over in bedbecause you're uncomfortable,
or eat, even before your stomachgrowls.

(38:42):
That's what the brain sayingeat.
My brain was saying make itstop, kill the body, make it
stop, kill the body.
It was that physicallyintolerable.
And so what?
Every worse yet every badpsychological bundle of

(39:02):
frightened, angry self-talk Ihad ever constructed anywhere in
my mind space came alive andstarted playing Constant dread.
Every second, I believed I wasgoing to drop dead.
I'm just going to drop dead ifI don't kill myself.
Right, it was just.
It was 11 months of this andnot sleeping for days on end,

(39:26):
and the only way I could escapethis was I would go in and lay
down, and I would.
I created a metaphor.
There was a place I had been inmy life, a Notatorium locker
room where I learned to scubadive, where I had felt Michael

(39:47):
intensely present in my late 20s, and every time I went in there
, I had this really strongfeeling of presence, and so I
had met Michael in dreams when Istarted.
Shortly after I started writing, he came to me in dreams in the
context of that locker room iswhere it was sighted.
And so, in order to be closerto him, I would go into this

(40:09):
locker room metaphor.
I would visualize it reallyintensely.
Michael calls thisimagine-festing, because you're
hearing it, you're seeing it,you're smelling the chlorine
from the pool above, you hearthe pumps chanting, the pool
pumps chanting distantly.
You know the water's drippingin the showers, the air is very

(40:33):
moist.
And so there's this hazinessyou imagine-fest it.
And then I decided, at the topof the stairs where the
Notatorium used to be, I wasgoing to create another world, a
knockoff of this one that was alittle bit better weather-wise,
and I would go up the stairs,imagine-festing the light
streaming in around the doors,throw the doors open, walk out

(40:56):
onto this beautiful sandy beachthat I imagine-fested many times
, very, very vividly.
Okay, because the mind is like ateething puppy.
It needs something to chew on.
Alright, so when the mind isrebelling so badly that it just
won't quit, you can forcibly putit onto something precious and

(41:21):
beautiful instead, and so youput yourself into that.
So I learned to do this overand over again, and now I've
just learned to supervise mymind, so much so that I have, as
I mentioned, I'm not in thespace between the judgments, I

(41:43):
am the space in which it allunfolds.
I am unbothered by most thingsanymore, and if I am bothered, I
stop and I say what silly storyam I telling myself?
Okay, because none of this cantouch me unless I give it power

(42:03):
to touch me.
All of your frightening painthoughts get all of their power
to affect your experience fromyou.
And yet all of us believe weare victims of our emotions, and
the emotions are the result ofyour self-talk.

(42:24):
Whatever you're feeling, it'ssomething you're saying to
yourself.
So this is where I am now I haveto say that the boon I got from
Lexapro withdrawals was, I amlike.
First I went to the observermode observe the mind, observe
it creating your experience,observe it creating the emotions

(42:46):
.
But after a while the observersufficiently fed the chooser and
the chooser began to direct themind and choose the narrative
it preferred.
So this is where I am now, andif you can get yourself into
chooser mode, if you can just beobserver, you'll eventually

(43:07):
awaken the chooser, the chooser.
Once you've observed long enoughyou sabotaging your own peace
and happiness, once you observeyour mind attacking your peace
and happiness, you realize itcan't attack your peace and
happiness if it were you.
It's not you, it's your tool.
This kind of snaps you intochooser mode.

(43:29):
That realization, it's like anaha, I found the switch that
activates this the way I want itto work.
And you're the switch.
It's your will, it's yourattention, it's where you put
your focus.
Last metaphor if your mind islike a dark space, and over in

(43:53):
this corner of the room you'vegot all your hopes and desires
and fondest memories, and overin this corner of the room
you've got all your fears, yourlosses, your disappointments,
but you are the one with theflashlight and that flashlight
is your attention Supervisormight cast the light of your

(44:17):
attention where you want thingsto grow, because you're the
light that makes them grow.
So there we are.

Absolutely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
There is so much I want to talkto you about.
First of all, I want to.
There's a word that you usedearlier and I've heard you use
it in other interviews and itconfused me at first, so I'm
going to colorify it for peoplethat are listening.
That might be because you usethe word she or chi and you
talked to chi, so tell peoplewhat chi is.

(44:50):
I know now, but I didn't knowwhen I first heard it.

Okay, as a scientist, it's difficult for me
to use words in precisely so.
I have to say, as a scientist,I cannot tell you what chi is.
As a mystic, I can tell you chiis love.

(45:18):
Okay, there is nothing here butGod, nothing but God.
Everything here is made of God,by God, from God.
Okay, there is no evil.
It's just different players inthis prank provoking you,

(45:42):
provoking us all, shaking us up,unconscious that they're being
used by higher power to do thatjob.
Everybody's just doing theirjob.
If there's a devil, he's justdoing his job.
Okay, his job is to test you,to push you.
If there's a devil, it'sprobably you.

(46:04):
Okay, chi is experienced by me.
I can be precisely correctabout that and sure that I'm
saying something preciselycorrect.
Chi is experienced by me in avariety of ways.
It feels like light dazzlingall over my body or angels

(46:25):
dancing on your skin.
It feels euphoric.
It feels like love.
It feels like a love that hasnothing to do with the love that
we call love here.
It is much more encompassing.
If there were a word for what itclosely resembles, I would say
it's compassion, that sort oflove.

(46:48):
It is a love that includeseverybody and everything, even
your worst enemy.
Do you know?
Who I really look forward tocelebrating with in the Eternal
is Alfred the abuser.
Okay, because we're going tolaugh at how we played this game
with one another and he, lovingme, volunteered to be hated by

(47:14):
me until the time I was able toforgive him in order to give me
an experience of Michael at sucha young age, to push me so
desperately and deeply that Ifound Michael in my own
consciousness that he waseternally available.
This is like somebody offeringto be hated by you because

(47:38):
they're going to do something toyou that's for your own good,
but you're going to really hateit while it's happening.
Okay, so I look forward tocelebrating with Alfred and
having a good laugh.

Okay, that's a very deep concept.
I know people are going to haveto chew on.

Don't wrestle with that.

Yeah, people will wrestle with that.
And as I've heard you speakbefore, and even as I heard you
this time in telling your story,your love for your father just
comes through like incredibly.
And you say that he beat youevery day from the time you were
three to the age of 11.
And then every day he wouldapologize for.

(48:17):
How did you forgive him at thetime was a later when you
forgave him, because it soundslike he's right there at the
time.

Every time because I could feel his pain
and there was no relief from me,for me, from his, from my
suffering, until he was free toit's the same thing with Alfred.
For many years I endeavored tototally be free of any signs of
any of the damage he did to me,to take away his effects, to

(48:48):
nullify his error.
Because I wanted him to be free.
I didn't want to be tied tothat electromagnetic frequency
of suffering.
I wanted instead to redeem it,to find the elixir in the poison
, to find the pearl hidden inthe muck.

(49:08):
If I could find the pearlhidden in the muck, I could
redeem anything.
And we're the redeemer.
We choose to condemn or wechoose to free.
It's not really.
Forgiveness is freeing.
You're freeing yourself fromthe burden of that negative
energy.
You're freeing the other person, because how can you be happy

(49:32):
in heaven knowing that person isexcluded in suffering in their
own created hell?
How can?
Compassion won't let you do it.
The love that comes to you fromthat perspective demands you
find a way to free the one whofreed you through making you
suffer.
They made you suffer and youbecame free because of that

(49:55):
suffering.
You disidentified from anythingthat could suffer and you want
to give it to them.
It's the natural response tosay well, he's dead now, so how
can I do it?
I will destroy any sign ofdamage in me and totally
transform what he did out ofbeing misguided and suffering

(50:15):
himself.
No doubt I will transform it tosomething beautiful to bring
back to my maker to say this iswhat I made with a tragedy you
gave me.
I did this.
Okay, this is my magic.

Yeah, that's beautiful, thank you.
And you use the word venue andyou talk about life being kind
of like a dream, I think of theMatrix.
I think the Matrix was afantastic movie in so many
levels.
So what is your interpretationof the world?
Because I think I also heardyou say there's no world out

(50:57):
there at some point, and I haveheard this concept over and over
again.
I've been reading Tom Campbelllately and I just read Biosintra
and autism and I'm reading allthese people that are saying
that there's no world out there.
So what do you mean when yousay that?

Now, mind you, michael started telling me this.
The other thing that Michaeldid was he created a bit by
blowing apart my beliefstructure at the edges so he
could integrate new ideas inchronically.
He also sort of opened a holein my mind, a conduit between us
where we could meet and I couldunderstand things, hear things

(51:37):
from him, even that didn't yetmake sense, and one of them was
about four or five years ago.
He started saying there's noworld out there.
Everything will start to makesense to you once you get to
orientation.
You're not oriented.
The orientation is this there'sno world out there because
there is no out.
There is no out.

(51:57):
Consciousness exists, not in aspacious way.
Everything is happening insideconsciousness, so there's no
world.
There's no out, so there's noworld out there.
Everything is happening inconsciousness, but we have these

(52:19):
meat suits that we put on inorder to interact in this venue
and to trick us into thinking.
We are the meat suit, becauseit can suffer loss and die and
it can hurt.
So the objective is to reorientus with our suffering, and that

(52:41):
orientation is you're actuallycreating your experience.
It's happening at the level ofconsciousness itself.
It's not happening to you,trust upon you in some outwardly
real projected venue that isall being filtered, projected

(53:02):
through your eyes and yourexpectations, and this apparatus
to give you an experience ofspatial existence.
It is assimilated.
He tells me, time can existwithout space.
Now, these are images he's beenworking with me on for a couple
of years.
Time is change.

(53:24):
Without change there is no time.
So as soon as you introduce athought, you have introduced
change and time has begun.
I kind of think the firstthought was a thought of
spatiality, if you realize thateverything that happens in your

(53:50):
life, the last moment containseverything that happened before.
Every parameter is in the lastmoment, like nested little
Russian dolls.
The last moment implies everyantecedent condition of the
whole thing.
So if you take in the lustrous,vast, everything exists

(54:13):
simultaneously possible.
Some things are more easilypossible than others, more
likely than others, but allthings are possible and exist as
hypothetical realities,hypothetical realities that you
then experience as if you wouldbe reading a book, watching a

(54:35):
movie.
You go into that momentcontaining every antecedent
moment, every antecedentcondition.
You go into that moment and aspatial environment expands
around you.
It's all hypothetical.
That's why you can go into thelustrous vast and go into a life

(54:58):
review and relive a vignette.
That's why he said to me youcan go back at any moment you
want and live it differently.
You can even avoid the accident, but you won't remember what I
just showed you and you'll haveto wake up again with some other
incident because you won't beable to carry the awakefulness
as the knowledge that you are,the conscious knowledge that you

(55:20):
have previously beenunconsciously constructing your
own reality and doing so throughyour fears instead of through
your love and your joy and whatyou aspire to.
Okay, so that's what I mean bythere is no world out there.
There is no out.
God created all of this byrecombining various trait

(55:49):
packages to create dreams of usindividual little beings your
trait package, my trait package,my history, your history, what
we've gone through to bring usto this moment.
Okay, and we, as gods, arecapable, inside our own
consciousnesses, to createworlds.
And I'm a writer.

(56:10):
I create worlds and characters.
Okay, I've only come recently torealize that they have their
own reality and mind space iscontiguous.
There are no separations.
You can get into the lockerroom metaphor Anybody can get in
there, alright, because mindspace is contiguous, there are

(56:34):
no separations.
But we explode.
Everybody's looking for theadded dimensions that we can't
see.
There's all these dimensions.
Physicists say well, they'relooking in the wrong place.
They're inside ourconsciousness.
The dimensions explode inwardlyas God expands through each of

(56:54):
us, creating more and morevenues of interaction, of
experience.
So I know that's quite arambling answer and it's a lot
of stuff.
It's really dense.
I hope that people can pick itup somewhere and it lead them
someplace fruitful.

Yeah, there is a lot and again, it's a concept
that I keep coming across and Ineed to hear different ways from
different people.
So I want to say to people ifyou're struggling to understand
this, you're normal.
It's like when you firststarted hearing about quantum
physics, you know, someone saidif you think you understand
quantum physics, you don'tunderstand quantum physics, the
idea that time and space arerelative.

(57:32):
You know, it's a concept thatwe.
It goes against what our sensestell us.
It goes against what our meatsuit is telling us.
That people say well, like myexperience is, there is time and
there is space, but so we haveto just kind of experience,
experience.

Experience changes from moment to moment,
from person to person, fromlabel to label, so why would we
count it to be so important?
It's a direct experience, isthe measure of reality.

Oh, poppycock, yeah, okay, yeah, I have to do
is look at a few opticalillusions to understand that our
experiences and what'snecessarily true, and understand
the way, the way that ourbrains work and what our brains
filter out.
You know, perception is notwhat we perceive it to be.
It's it's it's it's subjective.

(58:25):
We all have differentexperiences, you know, even if
we're in the same place, havingthe same event happen around us.
So these concepts actually goback to what we actually
understood before the modern era.
I mean, really, it's only about100, 200 years ago that we
really got lost with withunderstanding the way the
universe works, and I believethat the things that Michael is

(58:46):
showing you is what the, themystics, have told us for for
thousands of years.

Yes, I am obviously a mystic.
I mean, I used to.
I'm a little kid who used to goclimb up into the trees in
order to commune with God andget she rushes through my body
and and sing to the sky.
I didn't realize I was a mysticfor many years, except for well
, it took until I was about 11,12 years old.
I realized.
Every time I tried to talk toother people about this subtle

(59:12):
experience that I was having,that was so compelling, they
were like they had no clue whatI was on about.
And so I.
For many years I just stoppedtalking about Michael and stop
stop.
Particularly after the neardeath experience when I started
trying to tell people right away.
When I got back, like rightaway, I started telling my

(59:34):
family because I wanted to wakeall of them up right away.
You know, they were all likeit's just brain damage, you'll
be all right, it'll go away,you'll recover.
That was their reaction.

I want to talk about the word mystic though,
because I'm a scientist also,I'm a chemical engineer and I
think the word mystic, it makesus think okay, these are, these
are people that are studyingthings that aren't real.
They're not the same, but Ithink that is actually the
ultimate reality.
So, like I just appreciate, Ijust read Tom Campbell's book
theory of everything.
The guy is, he's a physicist,but he also studied at the

(01:00:07):
Monroe Institute, has had allthese out of body experiences.
So we call it mysticism becauseour instruments can't measure
it, but I believe it's theactual, ultimate reality.
So when we do turn within andwe do start to understand these
concepts, it's not woo, woo,it's not wishful thinking, it is
actually why we are here and itand it makes sense, and I'm

(01:00:30):
glad to see people like you whoare putting such thoughtful
words behind it and who areexplaining it that way.
And Bernard R Cashup is a guythat I've read, like everything
he's ever written.
He's a, he's a computerscientist and a PhD in
philosophy and he writes about,he brings the science and the
philosophy together, which iswhere I think, where the

(01:00:51):
ultimate truth comes.
So what you're saying to memakes, makes perfect sense, and
I want to.
I do want to talk about theidea of manifestation also,
because it's one of those thingsis kind of like reincarnation.
I believe it's real, but it'snot the way most people think it
is.
Because we hear manifestation,we think okay, that means if I

(01:01:14):
just believe hard enough, I canbe a millionaire, I'll never get
sick and I can drive a nice car.
But I hear you talking aboutmanifestation more of like the
well, capital W and being inthat well.
So could you explain that alittle bit more?

Mycailin Mohr (01:01:30):
Okay, the ultimate thing that we all want
to be is happy.
We are all praying to be happy,consciously and unconsciously.
All the time we at the sametime shoot all our prayers in

(01:01:57):
the foot by negating them withthe words we choose to utter
those prayers or with whichwords that we choose that
counteract those prayers.
I'm having a hard time, alittle seizure.

(01:02:23):
I have those from the braindamage, but I'm blessedly.
Really it's not bad.

Brian D. Smith (01:02:34):
Thank you, Ty.

I just lose my train of thought for a moment
and I feel a little unwell and Iflush, but that's why I'm
disabled.
Okay, we all want to be happy.
We're always praying to behappy, but then we're saying
things to ourselves thatcounteract our own will.

(01:02:58):
We're not even paying attentionto the words we're uttering In
2008,.
Michael said to me, and this wasone of the few times that he
came very close to using words.
He said if you want your wordsto have power, you must first
cull from your soul, firstspeech and your thoughts, all

(01:03:19):
the words you would not will toempower.
The venue is designed toprotect you from your rash
utterances.
We're children of God, we areGodlings.
We have massive power.
Have you ever watched a babyelephant learn to use its trunk?

(01:03:42):
Okay, it's all over the place.
They smack themselves in theeyes and ears trying to use the
thing.
Same thing with our godlyestate.
Same thing with our desire.
Our passion summons to us thesafest version of what we are

(01:04:02):
emotionally, spirituallyprepared to have, the safest
version that will do us theleast harm.
And as long as we are rashlyuttering things and doing it
unconsciously, the venue is notgoing to change the physics at a
quantum level to deliver to youanything that is dangerous to

(01:04:25):
you or someone else I like.
If I learn how to wield thewill in this venue and do things
that other people can't do,it's like handing the
neighborhood bully.
Do you hand him a plasticbaseball bat?
He's going to smack the otherkids with it.
No, the venue is going to handyou a Nerf bat.

(01:04:46):
A Nerf bat won't hurt anybody.
As a metaphor, the moreperfected your benevolence, the
more you're living in yourcompassion, the more the venue,
the more you're not utteringwords rashly.
You're being conscious aboutwhat you will and what you say

(01:05:06):
and what you try to manifestwith your labels.
The more you're doing thatconsciously, the more the venue,
the power, comes to you becauseit's safe, you're not going to
hurt anybody with it.
I start noticing I haveliterally materialized to things
not before my very eyes.
I don't know why.
I'm not allowed to see ithappen, but I have said I want

(01:05:29):
this thing and I need this thingand I went away to look for it
elsewhere and I was verypassionate about it because it's
a very important situation atthe time to me, emotionally very
important.
I walked away to go look forthe things I needed elsewhere,
searched all the places itshould be in the house, came
back out to where I was workingoutside and there were the

(01:05:51):
supplies I needed next to mytools.
They had not been there.
They had not been there.
In fact, there was a gentlemanworking there with me and I
asked him read where did thesenails come from.
I went inside and searched allthe vessels where I keep nails

(01:06:12):
and bolts and nuts and something.
These weren't here.
They're laying right here nextto my hammer, exactly four nails
that I need to finish this jobso that I can put my peacocks
that are coming into that coop.
He was like I haven't been downoff the roof.
I'm working up here.
I haven't been down.

(01:06:32):
I don't know what happened.
I mean, this happened more thanonce.
It's happened quite a few times.
I think the reason it happensand I find things.
Not long ago I went to mysister's house.
She came to the door she wasweeping.
I was like what's the matter,chrissy?
And she was like I've lostmom's ring, the dome ring with

(01:06:56):
the diamonds that I gave her.
I've lost it.
I can't find it.
I've been looking all day and Isaid, okay, well, take me inside
where you last saw it, take mewhere you think it should be.
She said well, I've searched it.
She takes me to her bedroom andshe'll have searched all over
every place.
She's standing right there nextto her bed.
I'm standing in the doorway andI say inwardly to Michael

(01:07:19):
Michael, please show me the ring.
My head literally turns of itsown accord and my eyes land on
the ring.
It's like three feet from her,where she's standing in that
very moment laying in the middleof the pillow, where she lays
her head on that bed.
I'm like 14 feet away andMichael goes with my head and

(01:07:43):
lands right on that ring andthen she's standing there and
she can't see it.
Did I materialize that ring?
Did Michael materialize thatring?
I mean, did she just suddenlybecome able to see it?
I don't know how these thingshappen, but I can tell you I
have seen things that I knewwhere they were supposed to be,
disappear from where they weresupposed to be, and I have said

(01:08:05):
to Michael please give it back.
And I looked again and there itwas.
He's given me an experienceover and over again that this
venue is not what it appears tobe and things can come and go
from it.
I had a dog.
I lost her four days, four days.

(01:08:26):
I looked for this dog.
In June I found her four days.
She had been locked in my van.
In June oh wow, in Florida.

Wow.

And she was fine.
Wow, okay, I found her afterdays of looking for her and
hearing her barking and thinkingI was losing my mind.
I came from because I'm hearingher.
I'm thinking I'm so tortured bywhat's happened to Gracie right
, and I came in to undress,having been 30 miles away
leaving flyers with the peopleat the agricultural stations et

(01:09:02):
cetera.
I came in from that and I'mundressing and I think I hear
Gracie barking again.
It's raining.
Her son, atman, is in the backporch because it's raining.
We're storming hard.
I think I hear her barking again.
I start to weep because I think, okay, this is driving me crazy
.
So much guilt over this dog andwhere she's gone.

(01:09:24):
Right, and Atman barks, atman,and I hear in his bark.
No, it's real, that's reallyGracie, she really is nearby.
You're not imagining that.
And I go out onto the frontporch and I say, michael, show
her to me.
And my head goes me on to thevan and I go, oh my God, four

(01:09:49):
days in June, and she was fineand she hadn't done anything
untoward in the van.
I mean, that's a miracle, youknow.
So there are things that youthink can't happen.
The dog cannot survive beinglocked in a van with the windows
closed for four days in June,with no water and no food.

And she did.
Yeah, you're right, it's one ofthose things that you can't
explain it.
You know, other than maybe shewasn't there for four days and
when you manifested her backBecause, again, I'm reading, I'm
in superposition.
Right, you talked earlier abouthow everything exists in
potential until it's observed.

Exactly, I am such a fan of Schrodinger.
Recently my sister again hadmisplaced this ring.
This was my dad's ring and sois this.
She had misplaced this ring andan earlier version of it that
had been dad's.

(01:10:50):
She thought someone had stolenit.
She'd looked everywhere,everywhere, everywhere, for
these rings.
There are more rings missingtoo.
She said to me I've lookedeverywhere.
There's only one place more Ican think it could be.
It might be in the strong boxlocated.
Dot dot, dot, fill in wherever.
I put it there, because no onewill think to look there.
It could be, but I haven'tlooked there yet because it's

(01:11:12):
such an unlikely place for me toput it, because I would put it
in my ring collection, in myjewelry box, so I could get to
it to wear it.
Okay, why would I put this ringthat I want to wear in such a
difficult place to get to?
And I said now, okay, look.
She said I don't think it'sthere.
I said so, don't go look now,because you just said I don't
think it's there.
So what I want you to say isand I want to hear it it might

(01:11:36):
be there.
It might be there.

Yeah.

Say it.
She said it might be there.
I said you know what?
I think it is there.
What do you think?
She said I think it is there.
It's there, isn't it?
It's Schrodinger's strong box.
That ring exists in that strongbox until you say it doesn't,
or go in there and observe it tonot be there.
So say it is there and lookagain in a couple of weeks.

Yeah.

That's where it was.

It was in the strong box.
Yeah, it's not made inSchrodinger, yeah, well, again,
I'm not.
So I'm saying you go back acouple hundred years and they
were really onto a lotSchrodinger, einstein, bohr,
heisenberg, all those peoplethat said that the universe is
not the way we expect it to be,that it is.

(01:12:25):
It doesn't exist until it'sobserved, and it's actually the
observation that creates theevent, the stuff that's around
us, in which case, if it is allconsciousness, then it's not as
set in stone as we think it is.

And the label is the observation.

Right.

Right, the label is the observation.
That's why, when you crown theevent with your label, as the
godling that you are, you havemade it appear to be set in
stone.
You put it in that timeline.

Yeah, let's talk about timelines also, because I
heard you say something thatwas very close to and maybe you
were saying this because there'sanother concept I've been
coming across is that we canchange the past through our
observation you talked about,you know, look looking at this
event and kind of redeeming itin a way, almost even changing
it.

Yeah, you reassigned the significance.
You just decided it meantsomething different than what
you originally called it.
But it has to obviously besomething that resonates with
you and which redeems the eventfor you so that you see a boon
in it.
That's sufficient, okay, likefor me, the boon sufficient to

(01:13:43):
redeem Alfred's error is that Ifound Michael Okay, the boon
sufficient to redeem my daddyspankin' my butt.
Well, there are two.
One is I learned I was not mybody and eventually it changed.
Dad, you know you can't take aninnocent person or child and

(01:14:10):
have compassion in your heart atall, to be lucid at all at any
level, and torment that personover and over again and then
continue to love you andcontinue to extend forgiveness
over and over again without iteventually being like hot coals
on your head.
You have to change.

(01:14:31):
You have to do something to geta grip on yourself.
And for dad, his past traumahad been like taking over his
line space and his behaviors, sothat he spanked me and said
things that were inappropriateto me.
And at the age of just a fewyears before he died and I
hadn't seen him in a couple ofyears, he looked at me and he

(01:14:53):
said I can't believe I beat yourbutt all those years trying to
make you do what you would havegladly done for me for the sake
of love alone, had I just asked.
I was trying to make you dothings to be obedient to me.
You wanted the last time hespanked me.

(01:15:13):
I asked him.
I was like 10 and a half 11.
I looked up at him and, as hewas hitting me and I said, how
will you ever know I'm doingwhat I'm doing because I love
you and want to please you?
If you think I'm doing itbecause I'm scared of you, how

(01:15:34):
will you ever know?
How can I show you that whenI'm good, I'm doing it because I
love you?
He was dumbstruck.
He was just like, stopped him.
He dropped the switch.
He dropped to his knees.
He hugged me.
I mean, I'm just a little thing.
I've always been short.

(01:15:54):
I was a little, even 11.
He hugged me and I could tellhe was fighting back tears and
he said to me, cracking voicegive me back my pocket knife,
honey.
He'd given me his pocket knifeto cut the switch he used to
spank me.
You're never going to need itagain.

That's powerful in so many ways.
You learned through that.
You learned compassion for yourfather.
You somehow saw through thepain that he was inflicting on
you and you saw the pain that hewas going through and you
recognize that.
But, as you were saying that,it reminded me so much of so
many people's image of God thatGod wants to bend us to his will

(01:16:36):
by beating us, by making ussubmit.
You said something verypowerful, though.
How would God ever know weloved him if we only obeyed him
out of because we fear them?

That's right, and God doesn't want to beat us
into submission.
God wants us to come to him outof love.
God wants us to come to him outof love and to come to our
brothers and sisters in love Totry and relieve them from their
suffering.
And living in fear of God isabsolutely.
I see somebody say I'm a Godfearing person.

(01:17:09):
I think, oh well, we're not foreach other, because I'm going
to be trying to tell you thatGod is no one to fear.
He's no one to fear.
There's absolutely nothing tofear.
There's nothing to fear exceptyour own labeling, your own
unconscious labeling, your rashutterances.

I want to wrap up here pretty soon, but I do
want to talk to you about aconcept.
We started talking about it alittle bit before we started
recording, and that's the ideaof why do people come into the
world?
Where do you see the worldheading now?
What's your view of the stateof the world and where we're
going?

You know, if you look at any toxic behavior
pattern that is making you moreand more unhealthy and more and
more uncomfortable, eventuallyyou come to a crisis, okay,
where you have to either wake upfrom the toxic behavior pattern
.
When I say wake up, I meanobserve yourself consciously,

(01:18:18):
observe that you have beenunconsciously doing the same
thing over and over again.
Okay, I see the world comingeither to a place of crescendo
of toxicity.
It's all hypotheticallypossible, okay, if enough people

(01:18:41):
can be awakened and that's kindof why I'm come out of the
closet as a mystic now.
If enough people can accept themessage that they are
responsible for the thinkingthat is creating their
experience, and take charge overtheir minds, supervise their
minds, observe their minds andtheir emotions being created by

(01:19:03):
their self-talk.
Until the chooser is awakenedby all that observing, where
they just say why should I, whyshould I suffer?
Why should I?
Okay, looks like somethingreally terrible has happened.
Will suffering make it better?
If enough people can come tothat and say you know what?

(01:19:24):
I think I've cried enough.
I think I've cried enough.
I think now I'm going to livein tribute to love by being
heroic in what I do, by lovingheroically.
Okay, if enough people can cometo that, then the world has a
chance of not coming to anegative crescendo.

(01:19:47):
It can just sort of even outundo the toxicity, lessen the
fear of the people who are rightnow, like in the United States,
we have such a divisiveness andI've talked to a lot of people
on the other side.
I used to be in that camp inthat party.

(01:20:10):
Now I'm not particularly either, but they're all in fear.
That's why the news media hasdiscovered that frightened,
angry people check the news moreso they can sell more ad space
okay.
So they couch everything in themost alarming terms to get

(01:20:30):
people to keep coming back.
This is toxic.
This is not helpful.
This is not in concert with thewill.
That is holy, although itserves to wake some people up.
So if we can soothe eachother's fears and show one
another like the people on theother side who think we want to

(01:20:50):
kill them all off or whatevercrazy thing somebody has planted
in their head to grow there, tofester, all right, and we can
show them love, just like Icontinued to show dad love okay.
Eventually the hot coals pouredon the forehead of the person
who's being unkind and wecontinue to love them.

(01:21:10):
They have to see it.
Eventually.
They have to see that they'recreating their own fears, that
the fears are not founded in anobjectifiable reality that's
what I hope yeah, because youmentioned earlier, I think you
said I think we were recording.

You talked about people with NDEs coming back to
help look at the rest of us.
What are your thoughts aboutother people that who haven't
experienced NDEs?
Do you think there are peoplethat are here for this time?

Say again what's the last question.

Do you think there are people that are here
for this time that try to helpus through?
I hear a lot of people saywe're at a crisis point and
there are people that are comingin deliberately because of this
time.

I think I'm just guessing.
Now, as a scientist, I can onlytell you what I think.
I think that the people who canhelp with this time and who
came here to help with this timehave already been here a long

(01:22:17):
while and that the new peoplecoming in are hopefully going to
enjoy the fruits of our theolder people's influence to make
things better for them.
Okay, because it's like.
I have nieces and nephews andno children of my own.

(01:22:38):
Alfred wrecked that for me, butI am motivated to help improve
things for my nieces and nephewsand I'm motivated to help
improve things for futuregenerations.
I'm a biologist, by training,interdisciplinary natural

(01:23:00):
sciences with an emphasis onmarine systems ecology.
I know what's happening becauseof climate change and I know
it's real and I know it at alevel of physics and chemistry
of the ocean and how it's goingto change because of the change
in temperature, or what it'sgoing to do to the physics, what

(01:23:21):
it's going to do to thechemistry and what that's going
to do to the life forms livingin the ocean and how that is
then going to read down out intothe rest of the environment and
infect the rest of the world.
So all of that matters to me ata very intricate level of
behavior.
I prefer to believe that we can, because all things are

(01:23:45):
hypothetical and, being a fan ofSchrodinger, I prefer to
believe that we can actually,with enough love, with enough
conscious awareness beingchanneled into it, that we can
summon an outcome that will bebeneficial to all.
People freak out about the ideaabout volcanoes erupting and

(01:24:07):
stuff, but if it's a volcaniceruption, for instance, of the
right magnitude in the rightplace, it can actually lower
global temperature and not to.
I know it can do it reallydramatically or it can do it
just enough.
Just enough to give us more timeto get our act together so that

(01:24:30):
rising sea levels don't startinundating coastal homes.
But as to that, even that wouldbe good in a way, because the
people who live on the coasteverything has its redemption
are the people with the moneyand the connections to say, hey,
guess what climate change isreal?
My house is underwater.
Maybe we should do somethingabout this.

(01:24:50):
They're the ones who have theconnections and the money.

That's a good point.
There's a lot of prime realestate disappearing.

They're the ones who will make a difference when
it starts impacting their pocketbooks.
Nobody wants to see anybodysuffer, but if that suffering
actually leads to a good outcome, the suffering is redeemed by
the good outcome.

Yeah, that's what we're coming back to.
I think that I love your story.
I love the way you tell it.
I try to use analogies to helppeople understand about
suffering, and they're like well, nothing would be worth this.
I'm like, well, we take ourchild to the doctor to get a

(01:25:36):
shot and the child screamsbloody murder because they don't
like the fact they got a shot.
We give them the shot toprotect them from a virus.
Sometimes things happen to usthat we don't like, but it's for
our own benefit.
Down the road, we don't get tosee it until you and I are both
in our 60s.
When you're in our 60s, it'seasier to start to see these

(01:25:56):
things because we've got to.
It's played out over a longertime.
The terrible thing thathappened to me when I was 12
doesn't seem so terrible nowbecause I can see how it's been
redeemed, as you put it.

Yeah Well, you asked about going backwards in
time and reassigningsignificances.
I don't know that you can'tactually change the timeline
that you experience as havingbeen yours For many years.
I lived in the pervasiveexperience of my terrible

(01:26:32):
childhood.
Oh, okay, until the prank wasrevealed at age 20.
Right, Okay.
And in laughter I realized Iwas the one who had assigned all
the significances that made itsuch a terrible thing.

Yeah Well, you get back to your point of
lucidity, and it's just one ofmy favorite songs ever is called
Silent Lucidity by a groupcalled Queensrack and they talk
about.
It even starts with I woke tothe thought of, or the dream of,
someone dying, someone leavingthe dream.
That was a lie.

(01:27:09):
Someone leaving the dream andthis world that we live in.
When you can wake up in thedream and understand that one
day you're going to wake up forreal.
But when you can wake up in thedream, it changes your view on
everything.

It does and it changes what you can do within
the venue.
It changes the way the venueresponds to you.
It changes the way youexperience anything that happens
to you.
You're experiencing it as theconsciousness in which it
unfolds and you're deciding whatit means.
You decide what it shall meanto you.

(01:27:46):
What shall I teach myself fromthis?

That's what.

I say what shall I let this teach me?
Okay, and it's such a blessedplace to be, it's such a until
we're back again in the eternalwith everyone that we love and
reunited.
And that does happen, okay, andhopefully we all wake into the

(01:28:11):
point to where we can come inand out of all sorts of other
venues because there are many,many worlds to be visited and
never forget our divine identity, never come to fall asleep
again in a dream of some venue,of some world where we're a
character who can suffer a lossand die.
We wake up.
That's getting our wings,because that's what the wings

(01:28:34):
are, symbolic of the ability tocome and go without losing your
lucidity, your mobile.
That's what I have become, likea piece of the cog, a cog in
the machine that woke up andknew itself as the machine and
then floated off into the cosmos, laughing, having a good time.
You know, just a freewheelingcog here having a grand time.

Go ahead.
That's a great way to wrap up.
What I'd like for you to do,though, is tell people where
they can find out more about you.
I know you've got a couple orseveral books, so talk about
your books and what they areabout.

Okay.
Well, the first book is calledthe Fiddler's Laughing Bride.
I assume you can post for me alink.

Sure absolutely.

Fiddler's Laughing Bride is a memoir and
this is about my relationshipwith Michael and how I came to
these physical, their actualrecounting of the events through
my life and how they impacted,what I learned from them and how
Michael brought me to thisplace of lucidity.
Okay, up to this current momentthat intertwines with the

(01:29:48):
fiction series.
In 1995, michael had said to medon't marry your first spouse,
bob, nice guy.
But he had said don't marry him, he's not really for you, he'll
be nice.
But 1995, I told Michael, leaveme be 1995, six years into the
marriage, michael returned.
He had been there all along.

(01:30:09):
He told me when bad things wereabout to happen, warned me of
imminent danger regularly, buthe had kept quiet for those six
years and he came back and hestarted dictating these books
into my head, literally a streamof words.
He lit me up, woke me up withKundalini awakening in 1995.
I think I was 36, somethinglike that, and I said go sit in

(01:30:32):
front of the word processor.
I have a story to tell you.
I promise it'll be a greatadventure.
And this series of fiction booksbegan to pour out of my psyche.
Like another of your guestssaid, they just sort of drop
into your headspace and therethey are.
And so that world, thatfictional world, as we call it,

(01:30:57):
fictional which is, since alldreams are equally real and
equally unreal they're justdreams.
The truth is one and anythingelse is a dream, and all mind
space is accessible to everybody.
There's no such thing asfictional worlds.
They're all equally fictional.
Okay, so that means it'sirrelevant.

(01:31:18):
I mean, calling them fictionalis silly.
Once you've imagined the thingand even the Christ told us, if
you imagine it, you might aswell go and do it in physicality
, because you're creating it asa reality at some level.
Putting your mind and yourattention on it, ruminating on
it, you create it.
Well, this world, thisfictional series, basically

(01:31:40):
hijacked my life, and it felt tome really weird because I was
getting ready to go intograduate school for marine
biology and all of a sudden, I'mgoing, I'm writing, why am I
writing?

I'm not a writer , I think.

I was like, right , it'll sell at the appropriate
time.
Well, so my experience of thisis it hijacked my life.
So that series, that fictionseries, intertwines with my life
by so drastically affecting mylife.
Okay, and I found in theprocess of writing it that a lot

(01:32:11):
of times I couldn't makecharacters do things I wanted
them to do to take the story inthe direction I thought it
should go.
They just wouldn't.
I, and I'm the one with myfingers on the keyboard, how
does that happen?
So I began to wonder about thenature of what was actually
happening.
I was like, okay, I hadn'tfigured out yet that, since it's
all dreams, all dreams areequally real, all dreams are

(01:32:32):
equally unreal.
So they all, they all count,right?
Anyway, so that series of books.
Now I've realized that on somelevel I've created those worlds,
I've created those charactersand I'm responsible for them and
I have to help evolve them, andso I have begun to interact

(01:32:53):
with those worlds in that series, in later books.
There's six of them in theseries.
Two of them are up.
They're called the VampireGrail Affairs and the Fiddler's
Laughing Bride, the memoir thosethree are all available at
crackedpotpublicationscom.

Okay, yeah.

Where my motto is leaking light into a world of
shadows.
Okay, maybe we all be crackedpots leaking light.

I love that.

Yeah, so yeah, they can find that there and I
think that they'll, they'll,they'll find if they read these
books.
They are books teaching all thefiction, teaching all the same
principles that are Michael hastaught me, but through a very

(01:33:47):
sexy story of vampires andforgiveness and redemption and
transformation.
That would attract a certainset of readers that would never
read a spiritual memoir.
So the two of them get theFiddler's Laughing Bride and the
Vampire Grail Affairs reach amuch bigger audience than I

(01:34:11):
could with the same conceptsjust in the memoir.
So those are available and I'mgoing to give you a special
coupon for your subscribercoupon code.
They can enter to get 20% offon the books.

Yeah.

And yeah.

Sounds great, yeah, and I assume people can
email you through your website.

No, they can't email me directly through my
website, but if you could postlinks to my Facebook, can you do
that so that they can reach me?

Yeah, okay.

They can reach me through Facebook, and then I'm
happy to give also my emailaddress, which is Michaeline
Moore at gmailcom, and I knowyou'll post it on the video so
that people can find it.

Yeah.

Michaeline Moore, because my name is spelled
strangely, but you'll see itwritten out there.
And what else?

That's it.
That's it.
So I really I'm glad we got todo this.
We've been friends withFacebook for a while.
It's the first time we'vetalked face to face.
Really appreciate your timebeing here today.

Well, I really hope we get to talk again, Brian
, because I already love you.

Yeah, there's well, we have a lot more to talk
about, so I'm sure we'll dothis again.
All right, enjoy the rest ofyour day.

Thank you, brian, you too.

Bye.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Awakening to New Realities with Mycailin Callahan

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Dateline NBC

24/7 News: The Latest

Therapy Gecko

All Episodes

Awakening to New Realities with Mycailin Callahan

Dateline NBC