Did She Suffer When She Was Murdered?- with Ana Christina

Episode Transcript
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Brian Smith (00:00):
Hey there, I want to let you know this episode is,
first of all, it's pretty long.
So you might want to divide itup into two or even three parts.
But it's also very dense.
There's a lot of informationhere, a lot of good stuff to get
out of it a lot of good lessons,but also has some disturbing
themes, such as murder, andsexual assault, so it may be

(00:23):
activating to some people. So Iwanted to give you that warning
up front. I think it is wellworth it to go through the
lessons that Anna Christina hasfor us. It's an incredible
encounter that she had withdeath with what she calls the
Holy Spirit, and what she tellsus about the afterlife, but I
wanted to give you that warningup front and also let you know,

(00:44):
it's a little bit longer thanusual. So go ahead and divide it
up into different parts if youlike. I hope this resonates with
you. Have a great day.
Everybody, this is Brian backwith another episode of grief to
growth. Today, I'm honored to bejoined by a woman whose story is
really remarkable and harrowing.
Her name is Ana Christina. She'sa gifted speaker. She's a

(01:05):
storyteller, and she's a formerCFO. Her life took an
unimaginable turn when she wasleft dead by by someone she
loved, and experience that shedescribes in her deeply moving
book, my sweet encounter withdeath. And her book is not just
a testament to her resilienceand her spirit. But it's also a
tribute to all the souls whowere silenced to seen soon to
dedicate it to those peoplewhose stories will often hurt.

(01:28):
And it's experience has been ajourney of love of heartache and
betrayal. But it's also a storyof profound spiritual
encounters, and the enduringstrength of the human spirit. As
we look into our life today,we'll explore topics ranging
from her marriages, her chillingencountered death, to her unique
experiences of crossing over andcoming back to her body. We'll

(01:48):
talk about this, I think this ispromises to be a really
compelling, a really emotionaland insightful conversation that
is going to leave us with a lotto think about. So with that, I
want to welcome to grief togrowth Ana Christina.

Ana Christina (02:04):
Thank you, Brian, for having me.

Brian Smith (02:06):
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to have this
conversation. I appreciate yousharing with us such an intimate
story. So you start off bytelling me about your marriage
and what happened.

Ana Christina (02:17):
Okay, so I'll give you some of the background
that led basically to theentity. Oh, I was born

(03:38):
Around the age of 20, we wantedto get married. So Sam proposed
to my father. And as much as myfather liked Sam a lot. He said
it was going to be over his deadbody. Because Sam was Muslim.
And in Asia, we don't crossmarriage. It's like a taboo. And

(04:03):
no matter what, you know, Iargued with him, we're gonna go
to Canada and nobody will knowus all that it was no, no, and I
didn't want to disappoint myfather. So I learned that I'm
going to have to move on. Andforget about Sam, which I did.
And eventually I came toCalifornia, and I met Paul.

(04:24):
Paul, correct me like agentleman. We got married and it
didn't take long. It was rightafter the honeymoon that I
realized I married the worstnarcissist in the planet. He was
just very selfish. Life'scentered around him. A miser I

(04:50):
know just crushes your soul. Letme say that because you have
listeners who are either stillmarried to one or have
incompatible and they crush yoursoul. It's an emotional abuse
and psychological abuse withoutthem even realizing what they're
doing. He was never atemperamental man. But he could

(05:13):
go on weeks and months withouttalking to me, just because he
didn't get his way. And I'm thekind I'm a very emotional
person. Anyway, I had, I havetwo beautiful blessings from
Palm, Colleen and Andrew. And Itried I stayed in the marriage

(05:34):
as long as I could. And again,divorce in the Catholic
community is frowned on. So Iwas trying to counseling merit,
everything pretty we went toevery priests convention in
California. And another thing itwas, it wasn't easy to leave
Paul because Paul, like, he's,he's threatened more than twice

(05:57):
that if I left him, he wouldeither hire sniper to take me
out. And he literally believedand he said in front of people
that if you leave me, I'll losemy mind. And no judge will hold
me accountable for what I'mgonna do. It's like, okay,
another time he got mad at meand he threatened to slit my

(06:21):
throat. And with my blood, hewas gonna write on the walls,
what a hole I was. So my kidswould grow up knowing what their
mother was. So it was very toxicand bad. Finally, I was able to
hire a good lawyer who got me arestraining order. And Paul was

(06:44):
to leave the house and Ithought, Okay, finally, I get to
raise my kids, and have somepeace and harmony, and I can
give them the love andattention. They deserve. What I
wanted to do devote my life tothem my work. I was the CFO at
that time. And I didn't haveenergy to wasted on this kind of

(07:04):
toxic relationship. And then outof nowhere, I get a call from
Sam. You remember Sam from mychildhood, he kind of dissected
California looking for me blockby block. It was before like, I
think the internet had juststarted. And he found me thought
he was in Florida on vacation,talk to me on the phone. We just

(07:26):
converse, I had just become aborn again, Christian at the
time. So I just wanted to votemy life. Like I said to my
children, never thought I woulddisappoint Jesus and marry a
muslim. So I felt I was guarded.
And when I went to Egypt tovisit my mom, she was
vacationing there. We met. Andlike I said, I thought I was

(07:50):
guarded. So it's okay, we'llmeet for all times sake. But all
the guards fell. When we saweach other, it was as if we've
never separated, it was likeafter 25 years, and he was that
gentle, kind, person listener,charming just and loving. And I

(08:15):
had been deprived of 13 yearswith a very cold person that I
just fell in love again. And Icould not say no to marriage at
that time. So we did get marriedin California. And I continued

(08:35):
being the CFO, Sam could not geta decent job in California,
because he because of thelanguage. He lived in Asia to
most of all his life. So I wasthe breadwinner. He took care of
the house. And we were marriedfor about nine years, just

(08:56):
really a good relationship. ButI would say very good
relationship. Until some flagsstarted to happen. We had gone
to Abu Dhabi came back and someflags started to happen. And
then the kids were turnedagainst Sam Paul, turn the kids
against Sam, because we gotmarried right after September

(09:21):
11. And everybody wasstereotyping. Any Muslim is a
terror. And so they thought hewas gonna kidnap the eight. It
became a real bad custodybattle, and just agonizing but
towards the end, I finally wasable to get Colleen to live with
me. But like I said, I sawflags, and I the kids wanted to

(09:43):
come and be with me and Samstarted to be insecure. So when
he became insecure during themarriage, he would not practice
being a Muslim. He would come tochurch with me and so forth. We
went to Calvary Church. Out ofnowhere that morning, I woke up.

(10:04):
And I felt the Lord telling mewhat's going to happen today is
not from me. It's not of Me. Andthe Lord doesn't usually talk to
me. But it was like a strongmessage. I get up, I'm having my
coffee with Sam. And he says,I'm going to take communion
today when we go to Calvary. AndI'm going, oh, did you have a

(10:25):
dream? Usually Muslims do notjust take communion. Usually, if
they have a dream about Jesus,that's how like a conversion
would happen. But it's not alogical thing. And you said, No,
I'm just gonna take it, why not,you know, hordes and
prostitutes, take it? Am I notworthy? And I said, it's not
about worthiness. You can't messwith Jesus's blood. You don't do

(10:47):
it that way. Please don't takethe communion. And he said,
Don't worry about it. And Iworried about it went to church
that night. The plate was it wasin Calvary was passed, he took
the communion. Usually he justpasses it, he took it, I looked
at him, I thought maybe there'sgoing to be remorse. And when he

(11:08):
takes it and feels, you know,God's touch on him or something.
But now he took it. And he waslike, He's chewing gum to the
gum up, put the convenient putthe gun back in. And he's just
looking at everybody. And I'mgoing, Oh, my God, you didn't
just do that. That night. Icould not sleep. So here he is.

(11:31):
I'm in bed he's giving he hashis back to me. And all night, I
am worried. Because we grew upknowing that the communion you
have to take it in reverence andsomething or it can turn on you,
it can harm you. That's what Iread. And here I'm looking at
him and going, What's What IsGod gonna, you know, strike him

(11:52):
with Sunday, you know, alightning is he going to turn
into a monkey, I didn't knowwhat was going to happen. But I
knew this was serious. And asI'm lying there, he turns
towards me in his sleep, he'ssleeping. And he turns and
Brian, I see his face turn intodemonic face.

Unknown (12:17):
I described that face.
From the movie devil's advocatefor people who saw it, all of a
sudden, like you have somebody'sregular face. And only one
person could see that face turndemonic. That's exactly what I
saw in front of me. And rightaway, I felt the Lord say turn
around church just sitting onthis side. So I did, I was in

(12:37):
fear. I was terrified. I didn'tknow. What was that sleeping
next to me. I thought this wasthe love of my life. You know,
God is blessing us. But seeingthat demonic face, just I
realized I need to get out ofthis marriage, something is
going on there. And I will notdefy God. I just, I needed God's

(12:59):
blessing into this marriage. Sobut I knew I still loved him. I
really loved him. And I couldn'timagine us just separating, but
I loved God more. Excuse me, andI felt something was wrong. So I
got on my knees and I prayed toGod, I said, God, you're showing

(13:19):
me this. This is not from you,please remove him from my life.
But please don't break my heart.
Because I need to continueworking. I need to continue
raising the children. And overthe days and weeks and months,
and I really cry, praying it waslike a really heavy prayer. I

(13:41):
felt my heart drying up towardsSam. And I fell out of love with
Sam. And it was such aliberating feeling. I was
addicted to this man since I was14. Yes, we separated but he was
just something there. And when Ifell out of love with him, I

(14:05):
finally was able to talk to him.
It took about this was aboutJuly, August 2008. around
November of that same year, Italked to Sam and we were able
to reach an agreement that wewould do an amicable divorce,
and he agreed to it. So we wentto court file an amicable
divorce. And it's the kind ofdivorce if you both sign you

(14:28):
have no property no children.
Like nothing to to go to courtover. After six months. If no
one disputes it, it's fine. Andyou don't need lawyers and so
forth. So we filed it. And thatday at court he asked me he

(14:49):
requested that he would stay inthe house for three weeks until
he finds another place. And Iagreed I didn't want to pick him
out and put him in the street. Isaid okay, We had the two
bedroom place, Colleen wasliving with us at the time, she
had a bedroom, him and I sharedthe same bedroom. But he sleeps

(15:10):
on his side, I sleep on my side,it's amicable. So it's, it's
like we're civil to one another.
And we also agreed not to tellthe children until it's final,
because I didn't want theexpectation and the confusion in
the house until he leaves thehouse. And that's what happened
up to before my empty. It wasDecember 2018. Should I continue

(15:37):
and go into it? Sure. Okay.
After that, it was about aroundDecember 10, right after my
birthday, like the second weekof December, or third week of
second mid December, I startedfeeling aches and pain all over

(16:01):
my body. And the worst part wasmy head, I got this headache
that I've never experienced inmy life, where you just can't
move your head, like I just eventhe act of blinking. Every time
I blink my eye, the pain wasreally hard. And I just sat on

(16:23):
the couch all day, not moving,not doing anything. And I kept
asking Sam, take me to emergencytech meet somewhere. This is
something's wrong. He finallyagreed to take me where I
couldn't take myself at the timebecause he was spending
Christmas at her debt. So it wasjust him and I in the house. It

(16:46):
finally took me to urgent care.
They didn't run any tests oranything. They assumed I'm
coming down with the flu. Theysaid just take some flu
medicine. And they gave me aninjection to help with the pain
in the head. So the pain wentdown a little bit. And my body
you know the aches started to tobe manageable a little bit. And

(17:09):
then Sam started to give me hisblood pressure medicine. I don't
have blood pressure, but hestarted giving it to me and said
that will help your headache.
And it did. So I started to dothat. And I was able to get to
the point that I can go back towork, it was year end. And as a

(17:30):
CFO, that's the worst time ofthe year you're closing the
books. I had, I was managing twoentities, and I needed to go to
the office. So I was able tocontrol the pain and went to the
office. And I was driving it wasJanuary, it's by that time. And

(17:54):
as I was driving to the officeon the freeway, I get this
vision. Now, Ryan, I never getused ones. Like I'm not the
person who gets visions, and Isee a vision and I'm driving.
And it's I could see it's death.
It's a vision of death, andsomebody's gonna die in my
immediate family. And I couldsee my sisters and brothers. But

(18:18):
I couldn't see my youngerbrother Steve, who was born
mentally handicapped. Andactually Steve was the reason
why we went to Canada in thefirst place, because we wanted
to get him better medicalhealth. And we were always told
that he wasn't going to livepast 35 like he had a big heart

(18:38):
or something. So I assumed itwas him. When that happened, I
felt it was a warning from God,that Steve is going to die. And
I need to go see him. The yearprior to that my mom was very
sick. But I was so busy at workI had a project to to do, and I

(18:59):
and she kept calling on me but Icouldn't leave. I was the leader
of that project. And I couldn'tleave to go see her. I had to
finish the project once. Once Ifinished the project. I called
her on her birthday to surpriseher that I'm coming to see her.
And that morning she had goneinto a coma, which she never

(19:21):
came out of. So that was thebiggest regret in my life is
putting work before my lovedones. So when I saw the vision
about Steve, I said I don'tcare. I'm going to leave I don't
care a year and the company canburn. I'm going to see Steve. So
I as soon as I went to theoffice, I went to the CEO I told
him that I have to go visit mybrother in Egypt. He said fine,

(19:45):
Anna, and I told him I'll takemy laptop, I'll do everything
versal from there, they willokay, I held the meeting with
all my staff. And we were in myoffice and I'm starting to
delegate jobs to everybody. Sountil I come back, before I had
the meeting, I called Sam. Isaid, Sam, my brother is sick in

(20:07):
Egypt. I'm getting leave. Thatwas a Friday. I told him I'll
leave Saturday or Sunday. Hesaid, Fine. I'll stay in the
house until we come back. Isaid, Fine. He said, Well,
Colleen can stay with me. Isaid, No. Coleen, by that time,
I'll keep her at her dad's. Butwhen we come back, we'll finish

(20:28):
what we start. He said, Okay. AsI'm delegating to my staff. And
I get this. I, it wasn't a voiceat that time. But it was some
body something telling me stopthinking and go home, because my

(20:48):
head was starting to hurt. And Iwas bending, sitting like that
at my desk holding my head. AndI get this, urge somebody
saying, Stop thinking, go homenow.
And that's exactly what I did.
So I looked at my staff, I said,I can I need to leave. I will
come back tomorrow, you guys. Iwon't leave till Sunday, I'll

(21:14):
call you back. And I'll finishdelegating. And they said, Fine,
and and I went to go home, and Idrove home. And as I'm leaving,
I left, I parked the car, andI'm walking up to our condo. And
in that walk, I hear a voice.

(21:40):
Now this time, Brian, it's avoice. It's not like at the
office where I felt. Something'stelling me to stop the it was a
clear voice in my head, as I'mtalking to you now. And
immediately, I recognize it wasthe Holy Spirit. And until

(22:00):
today, I really don't understandhow I recognized him right away
because I never connected to theHoly Spirit. I always connected
to Jesus. I connected to God theFather, but the Holy Spirit, I
did not get him. So because Ididn't get him I ignored. I
didn't really understand him. Ijust thought like in the movies,

(22:22):
he's a dove. He comes and goes,and you know, I don't get but
somehow as he revealed himself,right away, and he didn't say,
are you I'm the holy, it wasjust right away. I knew it was
him. And then he did this likefor me to keep my mouth shut. I
was not to say or share what washappening right now. So I

(22:45):
continued walking, went up tothe door, knock the door, Sam
came out. And he opened thedoor. And he asked me, Are you
leaving tomorrow or the dayafter? I looked at him? And I
said, I don't know. I can'tthink tonight. I will let you
know tomorrow. What what Idecided to do? He said, Okay,

(23:09):
I'll go warm up dinner for youbecause he always made dinner
for us. And Colleen came out ofher room to greet me. Hi, Mom,
how was your day? And I said,I'm not sure yet. And she goes,
Okay, Mom love you. And she raninto her room. She was 14. And
teenagers are always in theroom. So she went back. I went

(23:32):
to change. As soon as I gethome, I usually just change into
comfortable clothes. I went andI came out to the dining area
where there's the kitchen andthe living room. And Sam had a
plate for me prepared where itwas rice and green bean
casserole, French bean casserolethat he meets with meat. It's

(23:55):
one of my favorite Egyptiandishes. It's that French bean
casserole, the rice. And I stoodthere at the counter looking at
the plane. And I didn't have anappetite. So I scooped off the
French bean casserole because Ihad a sauce and when I just I
couldn't eat that. But then Iwas looking at my rice and

(24:18):
wondering how am I even going toeat that it looks too dry, and
without an appetite. And I sitthere and the fridge is behind
me. And the counter is here. AndI'm contemplating should I put
this back will I be able to eatit and the Holy Spirit goes turn
around China and open the fridgeand get the plain yogurt and put

(24:44):
it on your rice. And I'm goingcome again, like you care about
the Yoga I put on my rights. Andhe said child I care I mean
Every little detail of yourlife. And as soon as he said

(25:06):
that, Brian, I was taken aback.
I felt so ashamed. First, to behonest with you, I felt
embarrassed because I said, Ohmy God, he's in the shower room
with me. That was the firstthought that I, I was heavy.
Like, it was like, I was ashamedthat here is this being that's
with me every little detail ofmy life, I didn't even know

(25:31):
about it. I ignored. I didn'tacknowledge him nothing. And
here I am. I don't know why he'srevealing Himself to me. Now. I
don't really know what's, what'shappening. I can speak about it.
I can tell now the whole worldwith a second. There's a being
that's in every little detail ofour life. I can speak. And I'm
48. And I missed out on him.

(25:56):
That was the shame I was in. Butthen I listened to him. I turned
around and took in Egypt, welove and especially me, I love
eating my rice with plainyogurt. That's a tradition we
do. It just makes the rice sotasty. So I did turn around,
bring the yoga, put it on myplate. And I went sat down

(26:18):
started eating. Him and I arestill communicate. He's there
with me. And I remember hestarted he cracked a joke. Like
he had the most beautiful senseof humor. I just can't remember
the joke. I just. And I startedgiggling as I'm eating, and I
laughed at his joke. And Iremember Sam sitting it was an L

(26:39):
shaped couch. And he's lookingat me and he said, Did you stop
on the way home for a drink orlike, I don't usually giggle
when I'm sitting chronic clinic,but I didn't even want to
respond to him. I didn't want tobreak that communication with
the Holy Spirit. And I finishedmy play, put my dish in the

(26:59):
sink. And I said good night toSam. And I said good night to
call in. And I went into myroom, I felt it was time to go
sleep. Brush my teeth. And I'mstill wondering what is
happening? Why is he talking tome? And I go and lie down on my

(27:22):
bed. And he says, child, it'snot your brother. It's you. And
Brian, as soon as he said thatmy heart dropped. I was not
ready to hear that it was me. Iwill say that I don't think

(27:48):
anybody is ready to hear thatwe're going to die. We I went to
bed assuming I'm gonna wake upin the morning. We all do. We
don't think What if I die in mysleep? We don't we don't plan it
that way. And it was heavy. Theheaviest thing was that Colleen

(28:10):
is gonna wake up and find hermother dead. that broke my
heart. I just, it just that'sjust such a hard thing to go
through. And I ached for her.
And for the kids, you know, Ihad just gotten them back and

(28:31):
and that as I'm accepting thisreality, what he told me. He
reminded me of a dream. I hadseveral years, like three years
prior. And in that dream. Idreamt of Jesus and I usually

(28:52):
don't dream of Jesus. But Iremember that gene. It was Jesus
and Colleen and Andrew, and thethree of us were walking down
walking in meadows. And we eachhad our arm wrapped around his
waist and we're laughing and hehad his arm one around Pauline
and one around Andrew, and thewalking and I'm with them. And I

(29:14):
remember walking up in thewaking up in the morning
wondering how did we not trip oneach other's feet and the three
of us had our arms around him,and I didn't get it. But that
night I got it. It was I willalways be with them in spirit,
but he's got my children. Andwhen I when he reminded me of

(29:38):
that, and he assured me of thatI was able to relax and and
accept that I was gonna diebecause he's got them so there's
nothing for me to worry about.
So I said okay, I can do this.
He said child, don't worry youYou're gonna go on a journey,

(30:00):
and you'll be back to be myambassador. And as soon as he
said that, oh my goodness, theweight really lifted up, it was
like, Okay, I really can dothis, this, this sounds great.
And I said, Okay, what do youneed me to do here I am, like
the ambassador of the US. Hesaid, Child, I needed to stop

(30:20):
thinking. And here I'm ananalytical person that keeps
thinking of everything. And Isaid, Okay, I can do that,
because I stopped thinking. AndI tried to stop thinking, and it
was the hardest thing to do isto stop that mind of ours,

(30:40):
because my mind raceseverywhere. And I kept thinking
whether I was thinking, or did Istop thinking it was just Whoo.
And he was patient. I felt likehe's good. Slap me go stop it,
but he was so patient with me.
And I finally got to that pointwhere I was able to stop
thinking, and then he said,giant,

(31:05):
I need you to close to shut youreyes. And no matter what
happens, do not open your eyes.
Instead, okay? He said, Nochild, no matter what happens,
do not open your eyes. I said,okay, and I shut my eyes. And
right away, a bright light cameinto the room, a light that I've

(31:32):
never encountered before. Itwasn't an ordinary light. It was
a powerful light to the point, Ifelt it was the presence. It
wasn't just was the presence ofGod the Father, it was such.
It's hard to explain. It's hardto explain, but I wouldn't dare

(31:53):
open my eyes. And then rightaway, the window to my right,
started shaking. Like there wasan earthquake, just in my
bedroom, and the window startedshaking. And then my heart
started palpitating slowly, andit started pounding. And then as
it got stronger, the pounding, Igot scared. And as soon as I got

(32:17):
scared, the whole process shutdown. My heart stopped pounding,
the windows stopped rattling,and the light just went away.
And I'm lying there and I'mcoming. Shoot, I screwed up my
death. And he said, No Child,this one, you can't screw up.

(32:38):
You just need to relax a littlebit longer. And I said, and I
was relieved. And then I said,okay, okay. He said, Okay, so I,
I need you to relax. And I needyou to stop thinking again. And
he took me through the processof stopping to think, which I
did. And then he said, shut youreyes. And remember, Chuck, do

(33:03):
not open your eyes. He said itagain. Nice, and I shut my eyes.
I said, Do not open your eyes,and I shut my eyes. And then the
light came in the room again.
And I felt the presence of apower of God the Father, but who

(33:24):
am I to say it was God theFather, but that's what it felt
like. And then the window shook.
Then my heart started poundingagain. But then it started
pounding harder and harder andharder. And I felt like it was
gonna like, my heart is gonnablow up. Like I thought, oh,
that's how you get a heartattack your your heart just

(33:45):
blows up. But I wasn't scaredthis time, even though it was
harder. But I wasn't scared. Iwas at peace with it. And I
didn't shut the process down. Iwent through it all. And then
everything slowly. My heartstopped pounding everything. The

(34:08):
light went away. Everything wasquiet. And then he said, the
next step, Chai is an annoyance.
said okay. He said Chang. It'san annoyance. Please remember,

(34:28):
it's only an annoyance. I said,Okay. And right away. I felt a
wash of pain that came but itwas more in my legs. Like I felt
my legs. The pain was like as ifsomebody took a sledgehammer and
was breaking my bones. And hecould think chunk, it's an
annoyance. It's an annoyance itwill pass. And because he was

(34:53):
saying that, and coaching mestep by step. I didn't
concentrate on the pain of whatwas happening to my legs and my
nervous system. I wasconcentrating on him. It's an
annoyance, Chai, it's anannoyance. And I kept
concentrating on Him and Hisglory, that it didn't matter.

(35:15):
And I was able to tolerate thatpain. And it wasn't as what it
was in the very beginning. Itwas just, I could tolerate it.
And now mind you, Brian, I havefibromyalgia. So my pain
tolerance is like, I have notolerance for pain. And I didn't
scream, I didn't do anything.
The door is open. And no onecould hear what's going on in

(35:38):
here. And he could think it's anannoyance shock, it will pass.
And it did. And suddenly, thepain went away. And I was
relieved. And I couldn't feel mylegs, couldn't feel the pain,
but I couldn't have I couldn'tfeel my legs. I couldn't feel my

(36:02):
head to my toes. I felt nothing.
And I laid there. And I askedhim, Am I paralyzed? And he
said, Yes, child do you are? AndI said, No. He said, I'm sorry.

(36:25):
Charlie. said no. Can I can Imove my toes? And he said, not.
So I said, Can I try? He saidtry Chai. And I tried. And of
course, I couldn't moveanything. And some lying there
with this new reality of beingparalyzed. I hear Sam walking in

(36:50):
the door. He got in to bed. Assoon as he was walking in. I
said, Okay, good. He's gonnarealize I'm paralyzed. He's
gonna call 911. And he's gonnarush me to commercials. But he
didn't he didn't notice that Iwas there. He went in, slept,
and left me there. Give me hisback. And I continued the whole

(37:11):
night, Brian, the Holy Spirit,which I call the comforter, did
not leave me for one instant. Itwas the best night of my life.
Here I am. I'm paralyzed. But itdidn't matter. He taught me
visions he showed me hedownloaded verses from the Bible

(37:32):
he downloaded so much. Heexplained, he actually answered
all the questions that I hadover the years. Without me even
asking a question, you know, thequestions we all have, why is
there so much trauma and pain inthe world and loss and children?
You know, all the questions weall have? Why is this world not

(37:55):
as good as we wanted it to be?
And he answered, every onewithout me asking and the way he
answered, It made sense, everyanswer when he and when he
answered it made sense, somehow.
But this is the part of myencounter, that he erased. He

(38:19):
erased those answers. As if, orI know that these answers were
supposed to be mysteries, andnot for me to share with anyone.
We will all get these answers.
Probably on our deathbed. Whenwe get to the other side, that
was the only part his joke. Andthese answers, I don't remember

(38:41):
them at all. And then, in themiddle of the night, I needed to
go to the restroom, and I triedto get up I forgot that I was
paralyzed. And then I couldn'tmove. And I said, I need to go.
And he said go. I said go. Hesaid go. So I went to bed. And I
remember so much water comingout of me. Like I literally

(39:06):
thought I was gonna wake up Sam,drowning him with a flood coming
towards him. But oh, the wholenight like this continued till
about 6pm Just having himcomforting me throughout the
night, the most beautiful nightof my life. And then at
daybreak, I felt Sam get up. Hewent to the bathroom. He came

(39:31):
back I thought he was going tonotice that I'm paralyzed. He
didn't. He went back to bed. AndI continued lying there. And
then around eight o'clock. Iheard him turn in his bed. And
he turned towards me. And hepushed my back and he said,
Anna, Anna, are you up? And Iwasn't responding. So he turned

(39:54):
me on my back and He came overme and looking at me, he opened
an eyelid. And when you open, Icould see his face in front of
me. And he let it go. Then heopened the other eyelid and let
it go. And then he grabbed oneof my arms and let it go. And it

(40:14):
felt he grabbed the other armand let it go, and it fell. So
I'm thinking, okay, he'srealizing I'm paralyzed.
And he's gonna call 911. But,no, he gets up and comes to my
side of the bed. And he takesmedicine. And he puts it in my

(40:39):
mouth now, because I'mparalyzed, my teeth are locked
together. So he takes the pill,and he's grinding it through my
teeth. And I recognize it withXanax. And he's grinding in my
tea. And I'm thinking, why theheck is he giving me Xanax in
the morning when I'm alreadyparalyzed. And then he took a

(41:01):
candy. And he put it in my mouthagain, between my cheek and
teeth, and I'm thinking, I mustreally stink now, for him to
give me a minute before he'sgonna call 911. And then he
starts taking off my jewelry.
Why is he taking off my jewelry,and then I'm going home, maybe
so that I don't lose it in thehospital. And he puts it away.

(41:24):
And then he comes on my body andhe touches the wet clothes. And
he goes, You wet yourself. Let'sget you out of these wet
clothes. And I'm thinking, okay,he's nice. He's gonna change me
before he calls 911. But then hegets on top of me. And he rapes

(41:45):
me. And as he's raping me, I amjust so confused as to what is
happening. I am limb. Like, whodoes that to a paralyzed body.
And I all like to think of, youknow, married to a dog, I just

(42:09):
didn't understand at that pointwhat was going on. And then when
he was done, he got up and wentto the shower and left me in the
middle of the bed. And then hecame back when he was done. And
I could hear that he was fillingthe bathtub for me. And he came

(42:32):
on my site. And he startedcarrying me or trying to carry
me off the bed. And as he'scarrying me off the bed, excuse
me. He drops me on the floor.
And as and he goes, kill you,and I fall on the floor crumble

(42:55):
to my side, all naked. And butonce I was thankful that I was
chubby, and that he couldn'tcarry me because I really didn't
know what was he going to dowith me. And he left me there
and ran outside the door.
Because at that point, Colleenwoke up, and we could hear her
TV where as soon as she woke up,it was a Saturday and she had

(43:18):
her TV on. So he ran out tocatch him. And I found out from
Colleen later that he told hermom is sad, crying over mommy
said overstayed her brother. Andshe took several Xanax and she
doesn't want to be disturbed. SoColleen didn't come or say good

(43:39):
morning or interrupt or comeinto the room and went to her
bedroom, excuse me.
And then he came in. And as I'mlaying there, I feel this ice

(44:01):
cold water running over my body.
He had I don't know what he waspouring from. But he was pouring
water slowly, all the way. Andas it was pouring on me, it put
my body in shock. And it feltlike nails and needles all over
my body and it was torturing.

(44:27):
And the comforter at this pointis saying it's an annoyance
child. It's an annoyance. And ashe says it's an annoyance I'm
able to endure while I'm inshock. But right away. I see a
vision of Jesus's hand, rightlike I'm on the floor and it's

(44:49):
Jesus's hand on the floor. Idon't see anything else but his
hand and with the kneel,piercing there piercing the nail
in his hand. And as I see thisvision of the piercing, I'm
ashamed of my pain, which wasnothing compared to his pain. So

(45:11):
I was like, I can endure this,it was like, I'm not complaining
in the comfort, you're sayingit's an annoyance, and I'm
seeing Jesus's hand. And I'menduring it, and it wasn't so
bad. And then he stopped. And Iwas relieved, and he left the

(45:36):
room. And then he came back afew minutes later. And at this
point, um, mind you, I'm on thefloor, still naked now when my
body's in shock, but in totalpeace, right? I have no fear, no
anxiety, complete peace andserenity. The Comforter, did not

(46:00):
leave me one sec. He was therewith me all along. And because
of his presence, it didn'tmatter what this man was doing.
And he left, he came back. Andhe started over again, he did
the same thing. I felt the icewater slowly pouring all over my
body. And again, I went intoshock. And again, the Comforter

(46:24):
is telling me it's an annoyancechild, it's an annoyance, only
an annoyance. And I see thevision of Jesus's hand with the
nail. And I see that I'm able toendure whatever discomfort at
this point, it's discomfortcompared to Jesus's pain. And it

(46:46):
passed, and he stopped, and heleft the room. And I lead on the
floor there, not knowing what'sgonna happen next. And then he
comes back again. And this time,he bends over my body. And he

(47:07):
reaches to my nose from my nose.
And he closes my nose with hisfingers. And he holds it tight.
And because my teeth areclenched, I can breathe now. But
then suddenly I went. And assoon as I read for air, like it
was a reflex, he let go, and helet go and ran outside of the

(47:31):
room. And this is when it hitme. And I remembered my million
dollar life insurance, that hewas the beneficiary of half a
million. And I had forgotten totake him off when we filed for

(47:51):
divorce. I forgot all about it.
And it made sense. That, okay,that's why he's not coming 911
he left, he came back. And hedoes the same thing again, he

(48:12):
bends down, holds my nose. Hereaches for my nose and holds it
tight. And then I do the samething, my nose, my mouth opens
up. And right away, he getsstartled again. And he runs out
of the room and leaves me lyingthere in peace, not knowing

(48:35):
what's gonna happen. Butobviously something bad is
happening. He comes back againthe third time. And he steps
over my body reaches for mynose. But this time, he puts his
three hands over my lungs. Andhe covers them. And he's not

(48:58):
pushing hard. It was like agentle, you know, over my mouth.
And I knew this was it. BecauseI couldn't breathe. My mouth
couldn't open. And my lungsstarted collapsing. And I knew
that was it. I'm not, I'm notgonna get out of this one. And

(49:22):
as I'm accepting that this isit, and my lungs are collapsing.
But I and the conference roomwas telling me it will pass. But
then I see Jesus up to his likeknees. He had a rope and I
didn't see his body just upthere. And he had his hand

(49:44):
reaching towards me. And hishand is there reaching and all I
could concentrate on. Like I Iwas afraid that Jesus would lift
his hand because I knew he couldstop the process. He could have
Sam's hand removed. But at thatpoint, I want it to go, which

(50:05):
is, at this point I wanted tocross over, I wanted to go and I
was afraid that he was going tolet go. And I kept saying, I
don't want to let go, I'm nowtalking to God, I don't want to
let go. And he didn't let go.
And I continued, and it was likeJesus kind of escorting me to
the other side. And I, Brian,when you keep on going on you

(50:31):
die. There was no and like, itwasn't. There's an end. And then
there's the beginning. It was acontinued like, I just looked
back my body. So it's liketaking off a heavy cord. And
your soul just keeps on going.

(50:51):
There is no, there's nodarkness. There's not and it's
just stripe. You just keep ongoing. And you're free. And I
saw this beautiful, I sawbeautiful white clouds white,

(51:15):
more white than I've ever seenthem. And they opened up to this
bright blue sky. And then ablue. And as you know, like all
around me is blue. I love thecolor of blue. But it was never
just even that it was justbeauty. And then I see these big

(51:36):
animals flying around the sky.
Colorful animals, beautifulcolors that can not explain just
colors you don't see. It's justthe closest I can describe them
is I know, have you seen themovie Avatar? Okay, Avatar came
out after my encounter with theend of that year 2009. And when

(51:58):
I saw that movie, and I sawthese big animals with the
colors, I thought somebody had anear death and saw these animals
on the other side. They weren'tdragging their shots, large
flying animals and the colors.
And then I got to like a metalwith a lot of greenery. And I'm,

(52:23):
I guess I'm looking from my eyesthere. And at the end, I could
see the running around preparingfor the input a wedding. And I
could see a bride. But she wasgiving me her back.
Sorry, my mouth is. So I didn'tknow who that bribe was. I

(52:46):
thought it sat me because inscripture or in church or in
Christianity say when we die, webecome the brides of Jesus. It
must be me, but I wasn't sure.
So I wanted to go and look ather. But I couldn't get her. I
don't know what I couldn't getin front of her to see who she
was. And then I found myselfgoing in doors into a hallway.

(53:07):
And I'm walking in a hallway.
And it was a big hallway. And Icome across the chair. Somebody
like it was a majestic chair.
And somebody there was a lady init. But I couldn't see who she
was I couldn't see anything.

(53:31):
Because she had available,excuse me, from the top of the
chair. It was covering like thechair and all and her and I'm
trying to see who it is and Icouldn't get it. So there was
somebody there and I said Who isshe? And he said she's the best
of all. He said okay, and I justkeep on watching. Like come to a

(53:57):
hallway at the end of thehallway and I come to the door.
And at that door, I see a bodyof light. And it was my mother.
And she did not have anyfeatures. It was just a body of
light at her. She was like fivefeet tall. It was her same, you

(54:19):
know height. But right away. Irecognized it was my mom. Like
we always say how are we goingto know each other on the other
side. You're going to know eachother like we recognize souls
recognize each other. And it wasmy mom, I didn't need I don't
remember hugging. I don'tremember how we were
communicating. But she took mein and we walked in and I saw

(54:47):
coming down towards us, Nadia,my sister if she was another
body of light and seeing NadiaIn heaven was the most beautiful
thing ever. Because Nadia hadcommitted suicide when she was

(55:10):
so refined. I always wonderwhere she was. I knew she wanted
to cook me with that, and Jesus,but the church tells you that
they got to help the activeAmericans such. He was there.

(55:31):
She was beautiful. She took, wewent home. It was just me and
her. And now I'm just full ofjoy. And so full of joy. It's so
overwhelming. I couldn't containit. I couldn't contain its

(55:52):
spread completely. Becausestupid. I'm complaining about
the amount of jawed that I have,and I didn't know what to do
with it. And I'm telling you, Idon't know what to do. It's too
much for me. It's just too much.
And if she looks at me, shegoes, and with Jesus, it just
keeps on getting better. I callit that it's just it was you

(56:15):
know, we came to a climaxinstant curate, and, you know,
life. We have ups and downs.
This was an Up, up, it just,there's no doubt. It just
slipped Can you took it justkeeps on getting just amazing.

(56:36):
And we walked back out. And wecame to an open area where I saw
my mom again. But this time shehad that with with her. And that
was standing there. And he wasanother body of life. My father

(56:58):
had been killed in a caraccident when I was 22. And what
did I prefer over him? It was ahead to head collision with the
big eating River was horrible.
And he was sitting in the fronthis driver and him got killed.
And I could never have closedevery time I remember how he

(57:24):
must have been hurt in his head,like you know how you we live it
and we pitched any agonize overthe pain he must have felt and I
never had closure every time Iremember how he died, I would
pick it up. But I saw him. Andit was me. It was amazing. And

(57:51):
here we are forsaking theirstanding with them and wood
communicating without talking.
Now I'm just in awe. And thennot just as her here. Let's go

(58:11):
we have the banquet with Jesus.
And I'm going What did I justsay? A banquet, which like, she
said it so casually. Like, nextdoor neighbor kind of thing.
We're sorry, Brian. Have to putthem in my mouth got dry? No, I

(58:33):
understand. And I couldn'tbelieve that we're just gonna go
have this evening with Jesus.
And they left and somehow Ididn't fall. I don't know why I
missed it. But I kept on goingsomewhere else. I found myself

(58:59):
in a room. And I entered thatroom and at the end of that
room, there was a figure but itwasn't a body of light. It was
an actual body that I recognize.
And it was the late Coptic Pope.
Coronas 16 Six, and so that whohad died like in the 60s but was

(59:27):
such a sweetheart, a humble,just loving, precious man. And
here he is. I read like I couldsee his body but I remember his
hair. He didn't. He didn't havea lot of hair. I felt like he's
pulling his hair worried aboutthe Coptic Church. That's the
impression I get. And as I'mwalking in schooling, what have

(59:49):
you been charged? Where have youbeen going? He's talking to me
and I and I said I didn't goingTo count for me, because I had
stopped going to the CopticChurch because I married the
Muslims. So of course, weweren't accepted in the Coptic
Church. So I went to Calgary.
And, and he goes, I tried why?

(01:00:16):
And I said, Well, I didn't find,you know, much kindness, and
acceptance. You know, like, Ididn't find the compassion I
needed, I guess. And he said,Child, what is your name? I felt
it was like a rhetoricalquestion. And I told him my name

(01:00:39):
in Egyptian, which is notChristina. And Christina is my
pen name. And my Egyptian namemeans compassion. And he said,
He's a child. You are what?
We're looking for hurting yourchild. There's no time. How do
you decide how to capture and hestarted pushing me out, and he
kicked me out. And I find myselfgoing out of there. him telling

(01:01:02):
me there's not enough time.
There's not enough time. And Iwalk out of there. And I'm
rushed. Back in that hallway, Igo by that chair, again, the
majestic chair. But this time,the lady is not in it. It's
empty, like, but I could see theveil on the chair. And then I

(01:01:24):
asked somebody, what happened?
Where did she go? And they said,she's running an errand. And I'm
going to my mind, oh, boy, theyhave Aaron's up there, too. It's
like, where did she go? But Ikept picking me up. And as I'm
leaving, somehow, Jesus revealedhis face to me. And Ryan, it was

(01:01:45):
a face that was starting to berevealed. Like, it wasn't like,
it was like you to do it slowly.
It was like, just slowly, Icould see his forehead, his
eyes, his nose. And I remember,it took a long time to reveal

(01:02:08):
the nose. He had a long nose.
And in my mind, I'm going, I'mstereotyping. I'm going he's
Jewish. And it's like, and thenhe reveals his face. And his
face to my son. Like, it wasglory was beautiful. But it
wasn't the pretty boy. I'm usedto, I shouldn't say pretty much
that handsome.

(01:02:32):
Yeah, he wasn't the picture ofJesus that I grew up watching
Jesus of Nazareth with the blueeyes and just the handsome,
right? He wasn't he wasn't more.
I watched a movie recently. It'scalled the book of John,
something like that. And theyhad a more Middle Eastern
looking man, not handsome, notugly, but just Mediterranean

(01:02:55):
looking olive skin rug. It wasmore rugged looking. As I'm
absorbing all this, in my mind,I'm feeling I could tell, like
I'm going, you're not, I'mthinking he's not as handsome as
I thought he was. But I knew hecould read my mind. And I don't
want to hurt his feelings. SoI'm like, and he's just a

(01:03:17):
sweetheart. It's just mining.
But his glory was just. And itmade sense to me later on, about
Jesus not being so handsome. Iremember I couldn't handle any
movie that did not depict Jesusas handsome even when I saw the
passion, that Jesus in thepassion, you know, got messed

(01:03:41):
up, and I couldn't relate tohim. But now I can actually,
because if Jesus was thathandsome 2000 years ago, I think
all these vulnerable women wouldfall in love with him rather
than falling, falling in lovewith the glory and who he is. So

(01:04:02):
it made sense that he wasn'twhat we've used. And then I
found myself on looking down onthe freeway, and it was the why
the 405 and the five here inCalifornia, we call it the why.
And it was so dry, compared towhere I was. And then I found

(01:04:23):
myself in my bedroom, lookingdown, and at that point, Sam
picked my body up, and I wasnext to him in bed. And he had
me in bed, and he had his armwrapped like on me and he's
sitting there as if you know,he's mourning me, I guess after
killing me. And, but as soon asI got back into my body, I

(01:04:47):
jumped out, I couldn't handlethat he was touching me. I
jumped out of his arms, and Istood in front of him. I was
still naked, and I stood there,and I looked at him and he's
looking at me And I keep sayingI wish I had a camera to capture
the look on this man's faceafter killing me. And now I'm

(01:05:09):
standing in front of him. Andlike the ambulance that I was as
strong as a horse, looking athim. And that was it. I really
thought I came back to, to maybesay goodbye to Colleen. And
maybe Drs. You know, mess upwith Sam a little bit. I didn't

(01:05:32):
know why I came back. But I wasstanding there. And it was a
wonderful journey. But whathappened afterwards was just so
chaotic.

Brian Smith (01:05:46):
Yeah. Wow. Wow, that that is the incredible
journey. Thank you for sharingthat. And there's so many
lessons in there. So I want tounpack some of that. Before we
go on to what happenedafterwards. You talked about

(01:06:07):
seeing your sister who had takenher life. And I know that is a
big fear for a lot of people,especially people in the church
because we're told that's amortal sin, and that those
people aren't in heaven. So itsounds like you were surprised
to see your sister relieved.
Maybe it'd be a better word.
Yeah,

Unknown (01:06:25):
I was surprised to see her because like you said, for
what we were taught like they Idon't think they even wanted to
pray on her body because it waslike she murdered herself. It's
a sin. And I didn't know whatshe was, I always wondered. But
when I saw her in heaven, it wasjust a confirmation that our

(01:06:49):
Father in heaven is just acompassionate being. He's, he
understands like, people whocommit suicide are not doing it
out of murder. They're in a deepdepression. They're down, they
are hurting. And I've been indeep depression, and I know what

(01:07:11):
it means to hurt from thatdepression. It's, it's like
you're living in a nightmare.
And there's no pill that wouldtake that brokenness away. And
that depression, it hurts. It'slike, sometimes used to think I
wish it was my foot hurting me.
I can take a painkiller. Whenyou're in a deep depression. You
want to stop the pain. And youdon't know how else to stop it.

(01:07:35):
Unfortunately, I'm not somebodyhelps you. I literally tell
people, please take their handsand get them help. They're
broke. They need that help. Butsome people have found that that
was the answer. They wanted tostop the pain. So they did it.

(01:07:55):
Not out of murder, out ofbrokenness, out of illness, out
of mental anguish. It's asickness, it is not an act of
sin or murder that is so wrong.
And having her there enjoyingheaven was just beautiful.

Yeah. Another thing I want to bring out and talk
about as I work with a lot ofparents who have lost children,
and we think about the worstpossible scenario, did they die
alone? Were they scared? Werethey in pain. And I want to talk
about your experience, because Ican't imagine too many worse

(01:08:38):
ways to die, to be paralyzed, tobe to be raped to to endure
that. So what would you said itbut I want you to re emphasize
what it was you felt as you weregoing through that?

Unknown (01:08:51):
Yeah, see, that's why.
And I do get a lot of parentswho have listened to one of my
interviews here or there, andthey get comfort knowing that
their child was not alone. Weare not alone. When we're done.
I have no one special that thecomforter came to comfort me the

(01:09:14):
Holy Spirit was comforting meand would not comfort a child or
anybody else. There is no way.
And as he's comforting me, itdidn't matter. The betrayal. It
didn't matter what he's doing itthe body. You don't feel that

(01:09:39):
what we think in our mind. Oh mygod, they must have done just
like I did with my father.
Because apparently, they said Ididn't see my father that but
they said he endured a big holein his skull. Just thinking of
that would torture me. How didthat happen? What did he feel,
but going through my experienceof being tortured? murderer,
none of that mattered, thecomfort, the presence of the

(01:10:04):
Holy Spirit overrideseverything. He just takes the
edge off everything His glory,His sweetness, just gentleness,
kindness, this body becomesnothing, it doesn't matter, you
are in so much peace. And thereis no fear. I did not feel fear.

(01:10:24):
I did not feel anxious. I didnot feel alone. I was in full
Lake, when in the Bible, theysay the Holy Spirit is to
conflict and really the comfortthat comes around us when we're
enduring death. A lot of peoplehave had an ND and went to the

(01:10:49):
other side, but not too manypeople talk about what happens
while we're dying, or if you'vebeen murdered, or what happens.
And it's, it's beautiful.
Believe it or not, even thoughthis was happening to me, it was
the most beautiful encounter ofmy life. And it wasn't the

(01:11:12):
aftermath. That was the beauty.
That was just the cherry on top.
Just the whole process itself.
Having him speak to me second bysecond and coaching me through
it all, it was just death is notwhat we think it is. Death is a
beautiful, beautiful encounter.

(01:11:35):
And everyone listening who Iknow everybody's gonna die. You
remember me when I say it, whenyou encounter it, no matter how
long it takes? It is. It's anexperience that because we we
can't explain it watching ourchild, a loved one die, all we

(01:11:57):
see is quietness and death. Wedon't really see what's really
happening. And in their world,they're seeing something else.
They're encountering somethingelse. And they're feeling
something beyond what we canimagine. And it's just
overwhelming. Nobody dies alone.

Yeah, and thank you for explaining that. And I've
heard people explain somehorrific deaths. And I've heard
people that we might even thinkthe body is suffering, and
they're, they're in hospital,and they're in pain. It's like
they're outside of their body,their body is going through
that. And we might even hearthem moaning and groaning. But
at that point, their spirit ismoving on is actually expanding.

(01:12:43):
And so that thank you forsharing that.

Unknown (01:12:46):
Exactly. Yes, absolutely. We're not stuck
there. And we're, you know, andthat's why I, like people look
at me and say, How can you besmiling about this encounter?
How could you? How come you'renot bitter? How come? Because it
was an amazing encounter. So itwasn't full of anxiety, or

(01:13:10):
anything else that we add to it.
And that's a lot of parents aretortured the rest of their
lives, reliving those lastmoments of their children's
life, and feeling the guilt thatthey weren't there for them.
They might, they must have beencalling for me. They will not
comfort it, and it tears themapart. And it drives them crazy.

(01:13:33):
And the child wants to let themknow that they're actually
they're good. Actually, they arethe one aching over us because
they want to reach us and theywant those. We're good. We're
good. We're sad over you guys.
So it's different than what weimagined. It's just, it's

(01:13:57):
amazing what we have coming atthe other side and what we're
all going to endure in one wayor another. It's I'm not saying
it's easy to lose anybody. It'sthe hardest thing ever, but it's
not hard on them. It's hard onus. The ones left behind. We are

(01:14:19):
the ones grieving and achingbecause we missed them. But they
are. Definitely they're in adifferent zone. They're, they're
good. And they're waiting on us.
They're waiting on us. And theywant to reach us and tell us
that they're good. And they wantus to move on to because it
breaks them like the spiritanguishes when they know I could

(01:14:41):
feel like we heard for ourfamily that's grieving. And we
want to let them know pleasebecause now we're taking over
that. But we want them to keepon going because we're waiting
for them.

Yeah, yeah. Thank you. That's that's a very
important message. So when youdidn't seem like there was any
negotiation about you comingback, you were ready to go,
you're ready to have thebanquet. How did you feel when
you found yourself coming backand looking down at your body?
And then you're here?

Unknown (01:15:15):
Yeah, it was, I wasn't planning on that. And, and
that's what I'm when I cameback, I thought, I'm just coming
to temper. I thought, I'm justcoming, God is giving another
opportunity to hug and kiss mydaughter. And then literally, I
thought I was gonna drive themcrazy a little bit. And that was
it. I didn't realize I wascoming to stay. It didn't hit me

(01:15:37):
too, after a while, but I justthought it was temporary. So I
wasn't like, it wasn't likeshucks, why am I here? No, I was
happy to come back and be ableto enjoy my kids again. So, so
sorry, I didn't get upset that Ileft. I actually I felt blessed

(01:16:00):
that I saw what's waiting forme. But you back and got to live
life, knowing what I know. Youlive life in a different way.
And

so I'm, I have to ask this question. I assume that
Sam face any consequences forwhat he did or whatever, what
happens with that.

Unknown (01:16:28):
Um, when I came back, I came back, like I said, as
strong as a horse. So there wereno signs of abuse. There was no
signs of paralysis, there was nosigns of anything. He and the
kids themselves didn't believethat he tried to kill me because
all they saw was this man lovetheir mother. And when the

(01:16:50):
police came, they were allshaking their heads, like my
head told them I was having anervous breakdown. Because I'm
overworking and the policedidn't know what to believe I
couldn't find the divorce paper.
I was trying to tell them. Wefiled the divorce. He tried to
kill me. He hid the divorcepapers. I couldn't show them

(01:17:10):
that. So believe it or not,first they wanted to leave me
with with him. And then I saidno. And they said, Okay, we can
take you to a hospital. I saidtake just get me out of here.
And then in the hospital. Theyhe told the story of this, you
know, he's a perfect sociopath.

(01:17:34):
Brilliant. So he was sad husbandshowed up in the hospital with a
suit and dress like that. AndI'm the crazy woman with the
hair full of urine and frizzyand gray and all that. So they
thought I was having a mentalbreakdown. And they rushed me to
a mental hospital. Instead oflocking him up, I was the one

(01:17:58):
going to a mental hospital. And,and then, but it was actually my
experience in the mental healththat was needed. I loved it. It
was really i i saw a lot ofstuff that I needed to see
there. What happens, our systemis so broken, it's just breaks

(01:18:21):
my heart. But when I came out,they Paul, remember the first
husband took advantage of thefact that I had gone to a mental
hospital for years to get thecustody, he was trying to say
that I'm a mental case and tryto say, I need to go to mental

(01:18:43):
health. So So he went X partybehind my back and took me to
court and took Colleen from meright away. And that was hitting
below the belt. It was the worstthing that anybody could have
done coming back and having mychildren was the best thing and
he took them. And I couldn'teven see my daughter without

(01:19:06):
supervision. It was really bad.
So I put on my power, all mystrengths to try to get my
daughter back rather than tolockstep. And the other thing I
didn't want to mess with the sixmonths remember the the divorce
that if we don't dispute it forsix months, I wanted not to
dispute and not give him areason to dispute so that we can

(01:19:26):
be divorced. So I didn't want tomess with him. He was removed
from the house, of course, butthen I put all my energy to try
to get Colleen back. But I wasridiculed in court when I said I
was evicted and that somebodytried to kill me. They still put
it on me. They said well youthen exposed your daughter to a

(01:19:50):
bad man or a dangerous man likethey kept turning everything
against me and I couldn't proveit. Until my lawyer told me go
get a hair analysis to find outwhat happened because I went and
I got a brain scan to see that Iget a stroke. I scan my heart to
see if I had a heart attack. Iwas thinking, I must have gotten

(01:20:14):
a stroke, or I got paralyzedbecause of heart attack or
something. And then Sam finishedme off. I never thought that
Sam, this was premeditated tillI got my hair analysis done, and
it was done through forensichair analysis like I'd allow,

(01:20:35):
and I want to, can I read you dohave time I read you quickly
what my hair

please

Unknown (01:20:47):
found the cause of what happened to me, they said I've
received lab reports, whichindicates very high amounts of
that's the doctor writing this.
high amounts of several heavymetals on her hair analysis
consistent with toxicity,possibly induced by poisoning.
These abnormalities includemercury level, which is 60 times

(01:21:10):
the reporting limit, Selenium 60times 69 times limit and Timoney
49 times the limit, let 280times the limit Bismuth 40 times
the limit and most disturbingbarrier at 2750 times the limit.
And the symptoms she describedwhich were present at the time

(01:21:35):
of her psychiatrichospitalization in January, and
thought to be psychotic innature, what consistent with
toxicity due to barium orperhaps mercury. So they all
thought I was losing my mind.
Crazy, and I'm having a nervousbreakdown. That's why they put

(01:21:58):
me there. But the report showedthat he was poisoning me all
along with heavy metal. And hemust have put when he found out
that I was leaving to Asia thenext day. And he didn't have
much left many days left at thehouse. He needed to finish me

(01:22:18):
off that night. So he must haveput it all in the rice. And
that's why he needed to finishoff that night. And that's what
happened. That's what we foundout he must have done.

So how's your relationship with Colleen now?

Unknown (01:22:35):
Are you Oh, beautiful, beautiful. She's and Andrew
like, I'm blessed. I'm blessedto have all my loved ones around
me. And just Yeah, everybodyfinally found out what was
happening. And what happenedthen understood that mum was not
crazy after all. And that was itthat Sam Yes, he did get away

(01:23:00):
with it. But what happened iswhen I got the lab results, I
went to the police departmentthat time I had, you know, a
forensic accountant. Proof ofpoison. I had the million dollar
life insurance, which is a causeand I went to the Irvine police

(01:23:21):
department. But they didn't wantto investigate it. They were it
was weird how a detective calledme over the phone and didn't
even want to meet with me. Andasked me if I had a video of him
putting the poison in my coffeeor somewhere because how could
they prove that the toxicity washim doing anything? But I said

(01:23:47):
he will at least startquestioning start, you know,
investigate she even want toinvestigate. But then Brian,
that same year, sorry, I'mchanging glasses here. I
realized why Irvine didn't evenwanna open a case. And there was
a report in the Orange County.
What do you call it newspaper,June 17 2009. My incident

(01:24:09):
happened January 9 2009. And init it says if it's America's
safest city, it must be Irvine.
So at that point, Irvine was ata very high and I guess what
statistics safety whatever. Andmaybe investigating a murder.

(01:24:32):
Attempted murder was gonnachange their rating.
Unfortunately, they even want toinvestigate which was really
sad. So so he got away with it,but he's gone. He's out of my
life. He went back to Egypt. Iknow. And he's gone.

Yeah. So when when the Pope said See you something
like whether you're the onewe're waiting for, do you? Do
you think this happened to youfor a reason?

Unknown (01:25:09):
Absolutely. things, things happen for reasons, the
same counter like I had died,God could have very easily the
Holy Spirit could have said,Don't eat the rice, instead of
saying, take yoga, put it onyour right, I had to go through
my encounter I have. First Ibelieve he needed to open my
eyes. And get me, you know, forme to see what this man is all

(01:25:32):
about. Like I said he was thatsociopath. He was bleeding me
from finances and a lot of stuffI found out later. So he needed
to open my eyes and get me outof that. Second, as far as the
Pope and the Coptic Church, Ifeel, yes, there is a mission

(01:25:54):
for me in the Coptic Church. TheCatholic Church, I learned that
that was my roots. It's I knowevery church says, This church
is the right one, there is noright and wrong. I believe. All
churches are good. The perfectchurch will happen when Jesus
comes back. But yes, there'ssome work for me there that I

(01:26:20):
haven't like I do very lightly.
I haven't seen what he reallywants me to do there. But I do
believe that when he said tocome back and be my ambassador,
and it's more ambassador of theHoly Spirit, you know, like not
the ambassador of Jesus, notambassador of God, Jesus and
God, the Father have so manyambassadors, I feel the Holy

(01:26:42):
Spirit is missed. And we don'ttalk about him a lot, yet. He's
in every little detail of ourlife, whether we acknowledge him
or not. And I learned, he'sbecome my best friend. He's
become my buddy. He's become mytrue soulmate. He's like, such.

(01:27:03):
He doesn't talk to me, like hedid when I was dying. But he's
there, he shows me signs, like Isee the numbers like my number
with him, too. And it's when Isee it, he brings it to my
attention. It's, it's myconnection with him. I, I would
love to tell the whole worldlike don't discover him on your

(01:27:28):
deathbed, you know. And itstarts by acknowledging even his
presence. And then things incommunication start. Why did I
go through all that? I also feelit's to help parents, who lost

(01:27:49):
children to a horrific method ofdeath to let them know that
their child is not alone. Therewas no fear. I had to go through
this whole process to helppeople to tell people about
their loved ones who committedsuicide, and let them know where
they are like there is. I feelhonored and blessed to be used

(01:28:13):
by God, to help others indifferent comfort ways. I get
emails from parents all the timeabout telling me, I this mom
lost her child, he would havedrowned at the age of 19. And
2019, four years ago, and shesaid she was reliving his

(01:28:37):
drowning every night in anightmare, and how he couldn't
breathe and how he must not havebeen alone and how she wasn't
there for him. And she relivedthis nightmare and the guilt
and, and she added more to it.
And she said, after hearing mystory on, I think it's called

(01:28:58):
Second Level soul I can'tremember. At one of the
interviews, was the first timeshe slept in peace in four
years, knowing that he was notalone. And knowing that he had a
loving, loving being, comforthim. And to me when I hear these

(01:29:21):
stories, when people reach outto me, I just cry and I'm
humbled and I feel blessed. AndI'm thankful. And I feel I will
keep on sharing my story. Mystory has a lot of detail. And
sometimes it's embarrassing,like, you know, it made sure
that I'm stupid that I trustedin this man and I'm a CFO and it

(01:29:45):
shows vulnerability on my enddoesn't matter as long as it's
going to help others. I don'tcare how it shows me so
vulnerable doesn't matter. Iscrewed up in a lot of decisions
in my life. And if this decisionchins helped me get to where I,
I did. And I got murdered, andgot a chance to come back and

(01:30:08):
talk about it. That's beyond theblessing.

And I thank you for being vulnerable. I thank you
for doing what you're doing,because we do we and I was
talking with a client the otherday, and he asked me about
spirit guides, is it do youthink we have guides? And I
said, Yeah, I think we do. I'vemade so many bad decisions that
I don't believe. You know, Ithink I disproved the fact that
their spirit guides I said,well, first of all, you don't
have to listen to the spiritguides. So there is that I said,

(01:30:34):
but really, where your decisionsreally bad, because they led you
to where you are now. And I tellpeople, I have no regrets. I've
done things other people mightconsider wrong, or people would
say we're stupid. But if Ihadn't done those, I wouldn't be
the person I am today. And everydecision that you make in your
life led you to where you arenow able to be this, this
witness that you are. Andanother thing that tells us is

(01:30:57):
that even though we might bereally smart in one part of our
life, we're all vulnerable inother parts of our life. And
you're a caring, loving person,you know, you could have been
cold and shut off. But you youcare about people. And it's hard
to recognize narcissists andsociopaths, I think for normal
people, because we don't want tobelieve anybody can be that way.

(01:31:19):
I've talked to people that haveknown sociopaths, and know
narcissists. I'm like, Are theyreally like that? And they're
like, Yeah, they really are. AndI have trouble believing that.

Unknown (01:31:30):
Yeah, it's. And back then, Brian, we didn't have the
internet like we did. And if Ididn't know the word narcissist
existed for 18 years with PA, Ithought I was the problem,
because they make you feelyou're the problem. You know,
it's you. And I didn't know itwas a character disorder. I kept

(01:31:52):
hanging in there and hopingmarriage counseling and just
hoping you change, they don'tchange. It's a character
disorder. Right now, Paul, afterit really ugly. Maybe 20 years
of custody battles and problems,we finally now talk in a simple
way. And I forgiven Paul, forall the pain he caused me. And

(01:32:16):
because I feel sorry for himthat he lost so much in his life
because of this. And now we'reable to talk to talk about the
children and it's for thechildren seeing and, and it's
fine, it's fine, to forgive theones who hurt us. You know, I

(01:32:38):
can forget sad, you know, andpeople don't understand how
could you forgive somebody whomurdered you with his own hands?
Forgiving doesn't mean, we lovethem. And we communicate with
them with Sam, I forgive him.
Because I will say he was notworth it. To carry that burden

(01:32:59):
of unforgiveness and bitterness.
Because when you don't forgiveyou carry it, you're mad, you're
upset. You're, you know, andhe's not worth that. So I lift
him up to God, it's up to God todeal with him. It's not for me.
I just don't want to hear abouthim. I don't, you know, yeah.

(01:33:22):
And I'm free.

That that's another lesson. And I had to ask the
question about Sam, because Iknow my listeners. And I know,
people want to know whathappened to Sam, what happens?
And I I'm not that that's myplace to forgive Sam, but it's
like, you know, then just is notfor us. And as you said, you're
tying yourself to that person,when you're really concerned
about that. So I think what youdid was wise this is get this

(01:33:46):
divorce over with and let it go.
And, you

Unknown (01:33:49):
know, Brian, like, I tried to get him arrested. I
tried, like, I was trying somany times during that time. And
I remember asking God, why whyis in ticketing, like, why is he
getting away with it? Right? AndI felt at that point, God told

(01:34:10):
me, it wasn't about him. It wasabout me. It wasn't about, you
know, putting shackles on him.
It was freeing me from myshackles. And now when I look
back, and I say if I had if hegot convicted with an attempted
murder, how many years would hehave got 510 I don't know how
many years it's been 2009 We'rein 23. He wouldn't be out right

(01:34:36):
now. His life could have beenruined because of me. And he
would be out in vengers tryingto destroy me. Destroy my
children hurt me. He could hecan do so much. I would be
walking watching my back rightnow. I don't have to. He's there
over there away from me. And Godwill deal with him and I pray he

(01:34:58):
never hurt anybody else. But I'mfree from that. Oh my God. Now I
heard you know.

You broke the cycle. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I,
we've gotten way over time, butit's been fascinating talking to
you, thank you for sharing yourstory in such detail and such
richness and so many lessons forall of us in there about
forgiveness and the suicidething and, and the process. So I

(01:35:33):
think there's gonna I know, it'sgonna take people a while to
process this and to really getall the lessons out of it. I
hope your story gets made into amovie, it would be an awesome
movie. So I don't know ifyou're, if you're working on
that or not. But yeah, there'sso much there.

Unknown (01:35:47):
Yeah, there's somebody's writing a screenplay
right now on it, but others forthe movie, but other said, this
would be a great Netflixepisode. Like, it's, there's
another one that's similar thatwas on Netflix. And now because
in the movie, you're shrinkingit or like your summarize, the

(01:36:09):
story has so much twists. Andone day, you know, hopefully,
one day somebody will see to dothat. Because the one that's
doing the screenplay can only doa movie, but it's all in God's
time. It's historic.

And it's got to be somebody that's willing to bring
out the spiritual because thetrue crime part of it, or people
are into that I'm, I'm morelooking at what's the spiritual
lesson here? What's the what'sthe, what's the message that
could really reach the world. SoI hope that happens a little
bit, pray for that. Thank you.
And just again, so mentioned, Iforgot, tell people how they can

(01:36:45):
reach you remind people to nameyour book.

Unknown (01:36:50):
Okay, so they can find me my web page is an A Christina
with an h.net. And on it, theycan reach me they can write me
emails, contact me, I lovehearing from the my viewers, I
love hearing how my storychanged them or inspired them,
or did anything to me, that'swhat keeps me going. I'm not

(01:37:12):
here to sell books, you know, I,that's, I'm blessed. God Bless
me that I don't need to sellbooks or anything. But the book
because it has more details. Somy story is like, it be
surprised all the little detailin the book. It's called My
sweet encounter with death. Sothey can find it on my web page

(01:37:35):
if they're able to, to buy it,or they need to know more. But I
try in the interview to give asmuch knowledge, you know,

so I appreciate that. And I know you're not here
to sell books for us that havewritten books, we know you don't
get rich writing books.
Sometimes people think that, butthe book is it's it's going to
be helpful to so many people. Ithink, again, anyone who's lost
someone to suicide, anyone who'slaying awake at night thinking
about how their loved onessuffered, here, and the stories
are very helpful. I remember Dr.

(01:38:06):
Mary Neal talks about herdrowning episode. And you know,
people, some people think that'sthe worst possible way to die.
And she did too, until she did.
So I'm learning that, you know,let's not fear it's going to be
okay. Everything's gonna beokay. And that's, that's the
overall lesson. So again, thankyou so much for being here and
have a great rest of your day.

Unknown (01:38:26):
Thank you, Brian, for having me. I really enjoyed
this. God bless you.

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Did She Suffer When She Was Murdered?- with Ana Christina

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