July 8, 2025 • 43 mins
How do you talk to your child about drugs when you’re not even sure where to begin? In this candid and powerful conversation Carol is joined by two experts, Pat Aussem of the Partnership to End Addiction and Carleah Summers, recovery advocate and founder of Andrea’s House, to talk honestly about how to help our children navigate today’s complex drug landscape. From the dangers of flavored vapes and counterfeit pills to when and how to have “the talk” about drugs, this episode is packed with essential insights, strategies, and real-life experience every parent needs to hear.
Episode Links:
Partnership to End Addiction: drugfree.org
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Episode Links:
Partnership to End Addiction: drugfree.org
Al-Anon
Follow Ground Control Parenting:
📱 Instagram, TikTok & Facebook: @GroundControlParenting
💼 LinkedIn: Carol Sutton Lewis
🌐 Website: GroundControlParenting.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, and welcome to Ground Control Parenting, a blog and
now a podcast creative for parents raising black and brown children.
I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis. In
this podcast series, I talk with some really interesting people
about the job and the joy of parenting. This season
on Ground Control Parenting, we're talking to experts about some
of the best ways to think about and handle a
(00:25):
variety of important parenting topics. And today we're focused on
a topic that can strike fear into the hearts of parents,
how to talk with our children about drugs. With us
today are two experts who come courtesy of the Partnership
to End Addiction, a nonprofit organization aiming to prevent the
misuse of legal drugs. With their help, we're going to
learn about how parents can get smart and help their
(00:47):
children get smart about substance use and abuse. Patricia Awesome
develops accessible resources and services for families affected by substance use,
translating complex topics into actionable insights on trends, interval parenting strategies,
and treatment options. As a spokesperson for Partnership to End Addiction,
she covers vaping, marijuana, opioids, treatment medications, and co occurring disorders.
(01:11):
Pat holds master's degrees in Business administration and counseling Psychology.
She's licensed as a mental health counselor in New York
and New Jersey, and she's a certified Master Addiction Counselor.
Pat also maintains a private practice and serves on the
board of Community and Crisis, a nonprofit combating the opioid epidemic.
Carla Summers is the founder of Andrea's House, which provides
women recovering from substantious disorders a safe, supportive environment to
(01:36):
heal alongside their children. Carlia was inspired by her faith
and personal journey to create Andrea's House in twenty nineteen.
Combining professional expertise with personal experience as a mother in
long term recovery. Carlea employs a holistic approach addressing physical, emotional,
and spiritual.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Needs at Andrea's House.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Her mission is to empower women to rebuild their lives
with renewed purpose, confidence, and essential life skills within a compassionate,
hope filled community. Welcome to Ground Control Parenting, Pat and Carlia.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Thanks Carol, it's great to be here.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I am so happy to have the both of you
here to share on a topic that concerns many parents.
What we need to know and what we need to
tell our kids about drug use, abuse and addiction. So
let's get started. Carla, as I noted in the intro,
you are the mother of three children, you're in long
term recovery, and you've created a place for women recovering
(02:31):
from substance abuse to heal alongside their children. Can you
tell us about how you were able to make this
journey from needing help with substance abuse to providing it
to others.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Sure.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
So, when I got sober, my son was ten months old,
and one of the hardest things was not having the resources.
I remember a lot of times having to choose between
whether I wanted to go to work or go to
an AA meeting, you know, whether I.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Wanted to go here, I had to pick and choose.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Obviously limited finances and resources at that time. And so
as I went through it and I realized how hard
it was, I really really realized that I had a
passion to help other mothers dealing with this. So what
I did was I went back to school and I
decided to do something about it. There are currently not
(03:18):
many resources in the state of Maryland for women and
children for them to recover together.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
So that was the biggest thing, was to.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Create an environment where this was not out of the
norm but something that they could easily access.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And when you say for them to recover together, are
there resources for the children to help them through the
process as well as the mothers.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
So we just got funding for a new project called
Building Bridges, which will allow us to provide homeschooling for
our children for the first time in the history of
the program. So from ages zero to four, we're now
going to have a curriculum where they're learning alongside of
their mothers, which is really great.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Oh, that is great. That is wonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
And Pat, you've spent many years working with families affected
by substance abuse. So what trends are you seeing in
terms of drug experimentation and abuse among children and young
adults today.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Well, so the first thing I would say is that
the trend is that fewer kids are using substances period.
That's good, It's really great. It's it's been declining since
the nineteen nineties. So as an example, in nineteen ninety seven,
seventy five percent of high school seniors had had a
drink in the past year, that number is down to
forty two percent.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
So think about that.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It means like roughly sixty percent of kids are not
using alcohol, and in fact that the trend lines for
other substances is about the same. That said, it isn't
all good news. They're you know, vaping is still with us,
and there's a nicotine arms race with vaping to try
and make the nicotine more powerful and the harshness of
(04:57):
it covered up by flavors. So as much as we've
tried to ban flavors, that still hasn't really happened. Nicotine
pouches like zin are skyrocketing, so there are these little
tiny pouches that kids put in their mouth and then
they absorb nicotine. Which is concerning cannabis. Marijuana is still
problematic in a number of ways, mostly because what we're
(05:21):
seeing is a proliferation of products. So obviously there's always
been smoking flower, but there's now edibles. There are THHC,
which is a psychoactive ingredient that gets you high infuse
drinks and beverages. There are salves that you can put on,
just all kinds of different ways to use it. But
more concerning is how potent it is. And what we're
(05:45):
seeing is with increased levels of potency, we're seeing more
kids having problems with depression, anxiety, suicidal thinking, and really
terrifying as psychosis because a lot of daily marijuana use
can then lead to very serious psychotic disorder. Alcohol is
still popular. We're seeing more and more very sweet beverages.
(06:07):
Instead of saying soda pop, we say Alco pops. And
then sometimes there's still the misuse of prescription stimulants like
adderall And then probably the biggest trend I would worry
about in terms of overdose risk are counterfeit pills that
are on the market and kids are seeing those on
social media. The pills are often laced with ventanyl, which
(06:28):
is a very powerful opioid, and so they may think
they're getting a xanax, which is like an anti anxiety pill,
and instead of getting xanax, they're getting something laced with ventanyl,
and they take the pill and their parents find them
overdosed in their bedroom. So those are the biggest trends probably.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
So just the backing up on that last one, So
kids can look on the internet and get these normally
prescription drugs just by paying money for it. I mean,
how do they get access to the counfifeit drugs?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
So there are various ways in terms of either TikTok, Instagram,
Facebook or Snapchat in particular. And so they go online
and they buy pills have them delivered to their house.
They use emojis to do it. So I think it's
(07:21):
really important for parents to be savvy about the emojis.
So as an example, if you see a plug, you know,
like an electrical plug, it means that you're trying to
hook up you know, can you hook me up with
a drug? If you see, you know, a school bus
might represent xanax. I mean, there's this whole other language
of folks talking about that.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh good to know.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Parents take note, pay attention to what your kids are
doing on Snapchat and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
So for parents thinking about their children experimenting with drugs
abusing drugs, it's easy to panic about it.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
It truly is.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And when you add it to all the other things
that parents worry about, sometimes it's tempting.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
To take its sort of ostrich approach to this one.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Just you know, you sort of you don't know, I
mean for example, the emojis and the snapchat. I mean,
if you don't know that, you don't know what's going on.
And sometimes it's easier for parents to just bury their
heads and say, you know, my child would never and
we all know that that's not the case. So we
need to start talking to our kids about drugs at
an early age. But pat when and how should they start?
(08:28):
I mean, at what point is a good time to
start having those conversations.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So I think earlier is better, like waiting till you're
a kid is in high school getting ready to go
to the promise probably too.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, but I think you know, we've.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Even talked about you know, you're giving your kid a
gummy that is their vitamin, right, and so explaining to
your child why you take one gummy I'm not twenty
is important. And I think also, you know, explaining why
we take medicine as prescribed by a doctor is really important.
So just kind of planting those seeds. And then definitely
(09:05):
by the beginning of middle school, because we start to
see kids really exposed to a lot of substance use
at that point in time. So I think having the
conversation is important. And by the way, It doesn't have
to be the drug talk. It can be a series
of conversations. You know, you're walking down the street and
you get a big whiff of marijuana. It's like, turn
(09:27):
to your kid and say, what do you think about that?
What do your friends think about that? You know, that
sort of thing. And I'm sure Carlya, you know you're
doing your education of the kids when they're young and
with their moms, and obviously in families where there's a
substance use history, it's a concern. So the earlier you
start talking about that, it's the more important. So I'm
sure you can add to the conversation.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Here, absolutely so, pat you you are spot on, beautifully said.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
I am very honest.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
And upfront with my children about the disease, addiction, about
my addiction, about what's.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Going on in the world right now, what they may.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Encounter, because my thought is, I don't want anyone else
talking to my kids about these things. I want to
be the one to give them the truth and the facts.
And how I do that is by being open and
honest with them, not by hiding things from them.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Smart you know, I just want to back up a minute.
A new thought from this conversation is the concept of
the gummies, because I mean, I take a gummy for
my vitamins, and kids definitely take vitamin gummies. As you
give your children gummies, it's probably good idea to say,
here is your vitamin. You should only take gummies from me.
I mean, because I can imagine that if you don't
(10:42):
have that conversation, somebody gives them a gummy, they're like, ah,
you know, I take these, No big deal. So it's
really good at a good entry to start talking about
the fact that you have to be very careful about
the things that you ingest and who gives them to you.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
So that's really good, now, Carla.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Lots of parents have expect I meant it, with drugs
at some point in their life, and lots of parents
have experimented with drugs have not moved on to abuse
them and had addiction problems. I wondered how much to
reveal just about any kind of drug interaction to their
children as they start these conversations. I mean, if you're
talking to a very young child, obviously you don't go there.
But I mean, no, honesty is really important, but is
(11:21):
it always the best policy when you're answering questions about
what you did and when you did it.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
So, Carol, I think it really depends on the situation,
and I have two really unique ones. So in the
case where I ended up taking custody of my brother
due to our father's drug addiction, I had to be
straight up with him. I had to be honest. There
was nothing to sugarcoat. He had seen things that he
should not have seen for the age he was and
he wasn't even in middle school yet, so this was
(11:49):
a very challenging situation where I couldn't talk to him
as if he was a young child. I had to
talk to him based on the trauma that he had
endured and what he had been expo to. For my children,
I agree waiting until middle school. That's when I really
started explaining to them. And I have a relationship with
(12:09):
my children where they know I'm in recovery. They volunteer
with me in the recovery community, so a lot of
times they ask the questions, and what I've found is
putting them in atmospheres where they can see others getting
help from this disease has really triggered them to ask
some really meaningful questions, but has also made them step
(12:31):
back and think, maybe this is not what I want
for my life.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And that's a really good point because all of us
have seen people who have been in the throes of
addiction and it's not a pretty site, and our children
don't always have the opportunities to see that. I mean,
if you live in New York City, your children definitely
have the opportunity to see that, But in smaller towns
or you know. So, yes, that's a really good point
to expose your children to it, as opposed to try
(12:57):
to again be the ostrich and pretend that it doesn't
have anything.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
To do with you guys.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So the answer is, unless there's some other reason to
start earlier, that middle school is a good time to
start talking with your kids and pat to your point,
not like, sit down, we have to talk about drugs,
but you kind of hard pressed now to be in
the world and not have some reference to drugs or
alcohol come up by virtue of what you're watching on
TV or walking down the streets.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
So good to know.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Good to know that's the timeframe now that some dogs
like marijuana are just more readily available to our kids
than they were to our generation or older generations. Since
now they're legal, how can parents get smart about them?
Now parents may or may not have experimented, and perhaps
(13:43):
now they don't have anything to do with marijuana. But
it's all over the plate. It's legal in many states,
it's in the air. How do you get smart about
it if you're not, if you don't use it, or
even if you do.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
So it's tough because the marijuana landscape is changing on
a daily basis. That said, on drugfree dot org, which
is the partnership to End Addiction's website, we've got a
ton of information about what it is, what the risk
factors are, what to look for in terms of signs
of use, and then really a step by step guide
(14:18):
on you know, your kid is going to say, but
you smoked when you were my age and you know
you're fine, or they'll say it's it's a plant. How
bad can it be? You know, like like every plant
in the world, like poison ivy. They're all okay, and
I say that in just but you know, it's natural,
(14:39):
it's organic. You know, you hear all of it, and
you're just trying to stop me from having fun. And
so there's a question that the kid asks and then
their answers, and sometimes that's helpful for parents to be
equipped with those answers. But I think, you know, it's
one of those things where for parents to have a
(15:00):
little bit of understanding about brain science is really important.
So understanding that brains, which are like mission control for
our kids, they're not fully developed until they're in their
mid twenties, so any substance use can take it off track.
And while you know, there are some kids who probably
could smoke occasionally and be fine, there are a lot
(15:21):
of kids where they're not going to be fine and
they're going to have problems, and so I think it's
really important to make those distinctions. We have a risk
assessment tool on our website as well that work walks
people through. Here are some of the risk factors that
are going to make a difference in terms of whether
your child's experimentation, which we would rather not have them
(15:45):
do until their brains are fully developed. But if they
do experiment, you know some kids are going to progress
to a substance use problem. We know that the longer
they wait, the better. So one of the messages we
try to give over and over and over again is delay, delay, delay, Right,
so if you wait and at least until you're twenty one,
but risk of addiction goes down dramatically. Just a few
(16:07):
things I think are important for parents to be aware of.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
You know, the brain science is a really important point
because I don't think parents talk to our kids enough
about this. I mean, the fact is that your brain
doesn't fully develop until you're twenty five, and so that's
a legitimate answer to a lot of questions. But you
can't rent a car until you're twenty five. I mean,
there are reasons why it takes that time to sort
(16:32):
of fully develop your ability to appreciate risk. Just a
side note speaking about risk and Carly, I'll ask you
you have three children.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Do you have to know your child?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I mean, Pat, you mentioned that some kids were going
to get addicted. Is there ken a parent? You certainly
have to talk to all of them. But is it
better to give everybody the same message? Or should you
assess if you have a child that you think is
more of a risk taker and give them a slightly
different message.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
I think Carol, you have to you got a new
the kid. Every kid is different, and with my three children,
all three of them are different.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
I call my youngest, the wild card.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
She's the one we're probably gonna be a little bit
more hovered over.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
It just comes out in our personality.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
But we are a family that has struggled with generations
of addiction, so that conversation is imperative. At some point,
we cannot skip that conversation. However, my son is not
has never used drugs or alcohol. He doesn't, he's not interested.
And he's the one that I say, we grew up together.
(17:36):
When I got sober, we you know, he was with me,
so he's seen, you know, the progression and what it
took for me to get my life back on track.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
So it's it's different with all three of them.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
I think for each child that you have, or each
kid you're dealing with, you really have to assess what
their needs are and where they are in life.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
We'll be right back after these messages. Welcome back to
the show, and I'll ask both of you this question.
And you may be living in a state where marijuana
is legal, and you, the parent, may choose to eat
a gummy or I would say smoke a joint. I
don't know if that's still what you say, but we
can still smoke a flower whatever you know, instead of
(18:19):
a glass of wine. And I know that in some
states that's perfectly legal to do. So does a conversation
change if you yourself are a periodic, recreational only user
of cannabis. I mean certainly that would impact your child's
perspective on when whether to even approach it. I mean,
(18:41):
if all the parents that are legally able to smoke
marijuana or use cannabis in any form, I mean, do
they have to stop in order to raise children that
don't abuse it?
Speaker 3 (18:53):
So I'll jo Fan and then Carly, I'd love to
hear what you have to say.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
So I think with any.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Substance use, whether it's marijuana, alcohol, any substance use, I
think it's really important for parents to distinguish that this
is adult use. So we've actually tried to replace the
word recreational with adult use. That's good for the first
part of it. The second thing I would say is
if you come home after a really rough day at
(19:23):
work and you say, oh, you know, I have to
hit my one hitter or my bone, or smoke or
take a gummy or whatever, or I have to drink
a glass of wine, you are conveying to your kid
that this is how I cope with stress. I would
much rather have you convey it in some other way,
like I'm coping with my stress by taking a walk
(19:44):
or putting the dog or doing something else. So I
think that's really important. And I also think it's important
to secure whatever you have because obviously, if it's in
the house, it's really easy to access it. And the
more easily accessible substances are, the more kids are likely
to dabble. But if they see you like having fun
(20:06):
or laughing and giggling and whatever, it does send a
message of this will happen for me too, and it
doesn't always necessarily go that way.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, I mean, I do think I like the calling
it adult use versus recreational because it just drives home
the point that with alcohol, with cannabis, with all it's
sort of the adult choice versus the choice of the
twelve year old or the fifteen year old, I mean,
and that makes a big difference. Again, back to the
brain chemistry, it makes a big difference. You can't just
do I mean, there's a lot of things you can't
(20:36):
do because your parents do it, I mean in life,
and that's a lesson that you get early on so
so good. It's important to parents out there, it's important
to make the distinction. But also, you know, if you
have children that are impressiable, maybe just don't do it
around them for a while.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
I mean, be discreet.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
It's definitely worth it so you you don't send the
wrong signals. So, Carlia, let's say you find out that
your middle school or your freshman in high school has
been experimenting. You find out that they I mean maybe
they come to you and say, oh, I ate a gummy,
or you find something in their backpack or whatever, the
(21:14):
instinct might be to panic, overreact and sort of forbid
them from leaving the house again.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
But how do you manage.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Your reaction, your overreaction, because we know that sometimes overreacting
can have the opposite effect.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
What does work for me is definitely not overreacting. I
think overreacting is the worst thing you can do and
will trigger a middle school or a teenager to rebel instantly.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I personally, I meet them where.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
They are, you know, because that's what I do for
a living. I meet people where they are. I like
to figure out what's going on, Why is this going on?
Is there a particular situation that triggered them to want
to use all those things matter. Was there a trauma?
Was there something that I missed? And so I I
think the best thing to do is also remember that
(22:04):
we're human, right, that we were once teenagers, we were
once young and didn't necessarily make the best decisions. So
I don't take the holier than thou approach my kids.
I take it, Okay, I've been here before, and so
how would I want my mom to talk to me
when I was going through this situation.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
So I very much keep that in the back of
my head.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah that, Do you have anything to add Yeah, I
mean I think it's like step back, take a deep breath,
like this isn't the end of the world. We're going
to get through it. We're going to walk you through
it and understanding the why. I mean, if you think
about it, if I told you that I could give
you something that's going to relieve your boredom, allow you
to escape stress, help with your depression, maybe help you
(22:49):
sleep at night, maybe have better sex, maybe lose weight,
maybe gain weight. Whatever drugs work, they really work very powerful,
they work very quickly, and so you can understand why
in the short term, it looks like a good solution,
and it may look like a good solution, especially to
a kid who doesn't have all the coping skills and
(23:10):
mechanisms and what have you. So I think understanding that's
really important and then really looking at how can I
help my kid develop a healthier way of dealing with
this particular situation than using substances. So, as an example,
I was working with a family at one point and
their sixteen year old was smoking weed in the afternoons
(23:33):
after school in his room, isolating, and his parents were concerned,
and so they wanted him to get out and do
more things. He happens to play tennis, so they ended
up putting him in a recreational tennis group that meets
in the afternoon so that he could be with other kids,
(23:54):
have something to do other than hanging out in his room. Now,
does that mean he's going to stop smoking marijuana, Probably
not completely, But it gave him something else to do
instead of sitting in his room being bored and smoking
and feeling lonely. Right, So I think, wherever you can
find a substitute really helpful. And then if it looks
(24:15):
like it's getting to be a bigger problem, you take
your child for an evaluation. You know, I think some
people immediately go from oh problem to rehab. There are
a lot of places in between where you can go
to get help.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Yeah, that actually segues nicely into the next thing I
want to talk about, and that is, Okay, you have
advanced from monitoring your children and pouring into them the
information about drugs to perhaps discovering they've been experimenting, to
the next phase, which is wondering whether you actually have
a problem. And both of you can answer this question
(24:51):
for me, how do parents distinguish between what's common teen experimentation?
And it gets complicated because many of us are immediately
remembering our experiences and aligning ourselves with what we think
our children's doing are doing. But how that we distinguish
between the common I don't want to say common teen experimentation,
(25:12):
like every kid experiment, but the child who tries it
or does it a couple of times too, signs of
a deeper issue.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
What is the evaluation process there?
Speaker 5 (25:23):
So I have two things that I use to evaluate.
One is a loss of interest in things. Anytime I
see a loss of interest and something that I know
someone is very passionate about it's.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Automatically a red flag for me.
Speaker 5 (25:36):
The second thing is the behaviors have the behaviors become
a radic and so drastic that it's not a character
of that person. And once you see those two things,
that's kind of like for me, the red light that
says this went from adult use, as Pat said, to.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Something completely different.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
We're moving towards addiction because now we're solely hitting our
focus on substances instead of what we love to do
and who we are.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
I also think frequency of use is something else to
look at, So in some of the research that's been
done on this very topic, basically the takeaway is if
your kid's using something once a month, and when I
say something, maybe having a beer or they take a
hit off of a joint once a month, it's not
(26:27):
time to panic. But when it becomes more frequent than
that is when you have to really take a good
look at it because it probably is going to turn
into something more problematic. And again, if it were other substances,
like if they were doing cocaine or meth or something,
then we're into a whole different ballpark and I would
(26:48):
definitely want to get help for those situations.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
And you mentioned evaluation. What is that first step? Who
does the evaluating?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
So you can take people to a therapist who's trained
in addiction or a psychologists trained in addiction. Some pediatricians
might be able to help, although my experience when my
kids were younger is that it was my pediatricians sort
of looked like Bamby in the headlights when I would answer. So,
I do think finding a professional in the psychology field
(27:22):
who's trained in addiction can be really helpful.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
You guys have said this very well, but I want
to drive home the point that when we talk about
substance abuse, use and abuse, we're talking about alcohol as
much as we're talking about drugs. I mean, usually we
think of drugs as cannabis, cocaine, you know, sort of
hard drugs. But all that we've said with respect to
how you model your behavior for your kids and how
(27:47):
you manage stress, I mean most parents think nothing of
the concept, oh, I need to drink, you know, I
have to. This is how I cope with a stressful situation.
And I think we just have to be mindful that
our children and see this. And when my children were
growing up, which is they're all in their twenties and thirties,
now alcohol abuse and alcohol related horrific illnesses were on
(28:11):
the rise, and so the concern was as great about
drink too much and go into some sort of stupor
or I mean just horrible things can happen if you
have alcohol poisoning, and so it's as important to let
your kids know when you're talking to them in those
early days about drugs, you're definitely also talking to them
about alcohol.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Point well, mate, I mean, I think, as you've noted,
a lot of people kind of put alcohol in a
different category, which is why we use kind of an
umbrella TERMO substances. So it's alcohol and everything else. And
parents should know. Kids do not drink to sip their
wine and small the bouquet or appreciate the hops as
and the beer. They're drinking probably to get drunk and
(28:53):
often binge drinking, which means that they're doing four or
five drinks in a very short period of time, which
can lead to alcolcohol poisoning. So I think it's really
important for parents to know the signs of alcohol poisoning,
to teach it to their kids, and to really help
them understand. You know, if you need help. We're not
going to hope that they sleep it off or try
(29:14):
to give them coffee or something to help them get
over it, because that doesn't work. But rather you might
need actual professional medical help in order to address alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
And I agree, and I would say that even for
parents who don't believe their children have any interest in
alcohol at this point, any any substance. But if we're
just focusing on alcohol, it's really important to have the
conversations with them about not only what it can do.
You know, if you drink in a short a lot
of things in a short space of time, and they
could be sweet flavored things that you don't taste the alcohol,
and it could have a really detrimental effect. But we
(29:48):
have to talk to about how to handle yourself in
a situation when someone's offering you this. I mean, you know,
we say just say no to drugs, but they also
need In many instances, teens and younger people are going
to be offered alcohol earlier, perhaps even then they're going
to be offered drugs. And you said before, we're human
(30:10):
and our kids are human, and they can know in
their minds that this is not what they're supposed to do.
But I think we have to keep those lines of
communications open and talk to them about like role play
to an extent, like what do you do when so
and so says I mean you're going to have this.
There's a group of children who will say I will
say no and I will walk away sure, And then
there's a group that will say I will absolutely try
(30:31):
it no matter what. But the ones in the middle
who need they need some sort of counseling. I mean,
what other scripts? I mean, what should what should we
be saying to them? I mean, are are there ways
that we should help our kids think about how to
get themselves out of situations if they're offered drugs or alcohol?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
So I think, yes, there are scripts, but I think
the best thing to do is have your child figure
out what they'll feel comfortable saying. So, you know, and
we've got scripts on our website. But again, I think
it's one of those things where having a child figure
out what words am I going to feel most comfortable with? Helps.
The other thing is I know a lot of kids
(31:10):
who will get the red Solo cup right and they
look for someplace at the bathroom or whatever they dump
it out, but they you know, they put water in
it and they're carrying their red solo cups so they
don't look like they stick out. And sometimes, you know,
little tricks like that can be helpful. And the other
thing that we encourage parents to do with their kid
is to say, you know, if you need me to
(31:33):
come and get you, I will come and get you
at the drop of a hat. So just text and
it can be the letter X, which means get me
out of here, and I will send you a text
message saying you're brother sick, I need to come get you,
or I'll make up some excuse so that you know
that I'm coming to get you. And I promise I
won't ask any questions tonight. We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
No, I've talked to parents over the years about that
that get out of jail free card concept to sort
of just say the word, the safe word, I will
be there. We will not talk about it. We won't
talk about it that evening. Because you want your child
to know that, no matter how bad it seems, that
somebody can come and take them out, even if if
(32:17):
they've done something they know they shouldn't do. That we
need to be able to take them out of the
place the situation so it doesn't get worse.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I just want to really impress on parents it's really.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Important to have these conversations before your children leave home,
Like if they're going off to college or they're going
off to boarding school. Even if you say, oh, my
child has no interests.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
They I asked them to taste wine, they say no,
they don't want it.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I've seen it in so many instances.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Where kids get to college or get to of school
away from home and they're encouraged to try it. They've
never tried it, and then things go terribly wrong because
they have no information as to how what to do
or you know, if you're going to drink you should
drink water.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
They have no idea, and that's where really, really terrible
consequences can come.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
So for all you parents who are still inclined to
the ostriches, you've got to get your head out of
the sand and just have these conversations with your kids,
no matter how uncomfortable it can be for the both
of you, just to sort of take this to the ultimate.
So if you have an evaluation, then there's a real problem.
At what point do you get to the conversation about
(33:20):
rehab or if there's a real substance abuse. Well, first
of all, if there is a substance abuse issue, is
it always rehab or is there other things that parents
can do at home to help their children.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
So for me, I believe that everything is not an
inpatient treatment setting, and having worked in inpatient treatment prior
to nonprofit, there are times where you can bring an
individual and in patient and treatment and actually make them worse.
You're exposing them to other individuals who are doing harder drugs,
(33:53):
who may have been in more difficult situations, and now
you have them coming back out exposed to a whole
new world of things. So I recommend self help meetings,
I recommend outpatient intensive outpatient treatment you know, or I
love partnership and I plug them for everything because you
(34:14):
can go onto their website and get help with just
about anything, you know, And so families understanding that they
don't have to do this alone.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
I think carol is the biggest thing.
Speaker 5 (34:25):
A lot of people like to isolate when they find
out their kids drug or alcohol problems have gotten out
of control. But what they really need to be doing
is reaching out to the professionals and people who see
this every day and can kind of walk them through it.
But throwing your kid into treatment is not necessarily the
answer if that's not what they're in need of.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly currently and I also
thank you for the enforcement of the version. But truly,
you know you're taking someone who is unhealthy, and this
is a health issue. I think something that's really important
for parents to keep in mind and other caregivers to
keep in mind. This is not a good kid versus
(35:07):
bad kid issue. This is a health issue, and so
you know, I think working with potentially someone who is
trained in addiction and or self help groups can be
incredibly helpful. In addition to that, I think there are
things that parents can do, meaning there are ways to
talk to your child about their substance use that can
(35:30):
be productive as opposed to like why did you do that?
What were you thinking? Right, So, there are some skills
that you can learn that can be very helpful. There
are also ways to encourage behaviors that you want to
see more of, and ways to decrease behaviors such as
substance use or other risky behaviors that you know you
(35:51):
can use to decrease behaviors and setting boundaries and at
the same time taking care of yourself because I know
some people, some parents who are wrapping themselves into pretzels,
worried about their kid's substance use and it's going to
derail their entire future, and you know, they really go
down the rabbit hole of how bad this could be.
(36:12):
But there's so many things that you can do. It's
very treatable, and earlier is better, right than letting it,
you know, continue to build and become more problematic. On
our website, we have a skill building course that's free
and it's really easy.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
To go through.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
It's both in English and Spanish, and it talks about
those communication skills and how to use behavior management techniques
that might be helpful in things of that nature, how
to set boundaries and stick with it, which is something
sometimes is really hard to do. You know, you tell
your kid, you know, I'm going to ground you for
two weeks, and all of a sudden, you know, two
(36:49):
days in, you're tearing your hair out saying why do
I say that?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
So, yeah, that's sticking with it on punishment is key,
but not easy.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Wow, this is a really, really, really good advice.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
So I just want to I want to wrap up
with just an open question about this. Both of you
have had a lot of experience with various stages of this,
people who are curious and then people who have issues
with drug and alcohol abuse in their families. But what
is your best advice for parents who are very worried
about this, but who are most worried about how to
(37:25):
keep the lines of communications open, how to sort of
step back from any judgment that they may have and
really help your child build trust. I mean, are there
any tips or there any I mean you talked about communities,
parents in community with one another. Is that the way
to go? Or what do you say to a parent
who says, I have no idea how to do this
(37:48):
with my child?
Speaker 5 (37:49):
So I would tell them one, they need to educate theirselves.
Education is always the best prevention tool. You have got
to educate yourself on the disease of addiction. Secondly, you
need to listen. I've worked with a lot of families
they you know, Pat's touched on this quite a few
times that are just they're panicking and they're not listening
(38:12):
to what their child is telling them, and so they're
missing the signs they're missing whatever's going on because they
have their own plan and they're panicking about what's going
on currently, and so I think just doing those things
allows the child to feel as if you're accessible to
them and that they can come to you. The worst
(38:34):
thing that can happen is that a kid feels like
they cannot confide in you because now you've lost all
control and you have no idea what's going on. So
I just think it's important. And the last thing I
was suggested is allan On meetings. I went to allan
On meetings a lot because not only am I a
person in long term recovery, but I have lots of
(38:55):
family members in recovery, and so a lot of things
I had to heal on a different perspective and a
different side of this so that I didn't enable them
or I didn't, you know, not set appropriate boundaries. So
alan On meetings are a great place for families who
don't know where to start and want to meet other
families to get some advice.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
That's really really helpful.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
The other thing I would say is please don't make
every conversation you have with your kid about this topic.
They will look for ways to avoid you completely because
they just don't want to hear it again. So and
that isn't to say that every conversation needs to be
light and fluffy either, but I think it's really important
to understand that, you know, there's more to it. I
(39:40):
will never forget going to a support group meeting like
Carlia the speaking of and I was dumbfound because there
was a woman there whose daughter was prostituting in Patterson,
New Jersey and using heroin. And their agreement was mom
would come to power every week to have lunch with her,
(40:02):
and they agreed they weren't going to you know, the
elephant in the room was the substance use in the prostitution,
but they weren't going to talk about that. She did
that for five years and then her daughter got to
a point where she was like, you know what, I'm
ready for treatment. I'm ready to get help. And I mean,
obviously that's an extreme story, but I think it shows
that staying connected and keeping the lines of communication open
(40:24):
is critical.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, boy, that is so true.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And I really like what you have said about parents
finding community. I mean, at any stage of this process,
you don't, not only if you have a child with
abuse issues. But in finding community, you can practice with
your parent friends about what you would say before you
say it to your child. To your point, pat is,
if you find yourself talking about all the time, call
(40:49):
your friend and talk about it to them as opposed
to burdening your child. So Carly and path, this has
just been so helpful. Each of you have been so
incredibly helpful and and I'm going to wrap it up here,
but I want to say thank you so both so much.
It's been a great conversation. I'm also going to put
a plug in for the Partnership to End Addiction because
(41:10):
my parents, if you go to the website, so many
questions are answered, so many resources are given. These are
the people that brought you this is your Brain on
drugs for those of you who remember that commercial. But
they if you go in their website now, they've branched
out into so many different, really helpful ways for parents
to deal with these issues.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
So, ladies, they're just one more.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Thing I'd like to do before we go, and I'm
going to ask you guys to play an abbreviated version
of the DCP Lightning Round. I asked all my guests
to do this and I'm going to ask Carli. I'm
going to start with you, and I'm going to ask
the both of you two questions, favorite poem or saying.
And then the second question is the favorite two children's books.
And they could be books you read when you were
(41:52):
young or books you read to children.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
So carl give me your favorite saying.
Speaker 5 (41:57):
All right, say, my favorite saying is the most wasted
days are ones without laughter, and that is by Ee Cummings.
My family, we base our whole lives around laughter. We've
had very serious things and we just love to laugh.
So and then my favorite book any Doctor Seuss book.
My mother collected every Doctor Seuss book and read them
(42:19):
to us faithfully.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
So I love Doctor SEUs.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Yeah, and I love that laughter quote. I really like that.
I love that, Okay, Pat.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
So my favorite poem is The Guest House by Roomy.
So it really talks about you know, being willing to
sweep things out and open the door and accept whatever
walks through the door. And so I really I really
love that. The books I really had to just scratch
for that, Where the Will Things Are was one that
(42:53):
we read to our kids a lot, and I think
the other one was Cloudy with a chance.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Of meat balls. Yeah, with the chance of me bulls.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yep, that was a favorite in our family.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Well, thank you ladies so much.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
I'm just going to give one more plug because for
the partnership to end Addiction. The actual website is drug
Free dot org. Drug Free dot Org. Okay, great, thank you,
so thank you both so much.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Thank you, Thank you, Carol, it's been a pleasure, and
Carly I great to see.
Speaker 4 (43:22):
You you too, Pat. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
I hope everyone listening enjoyed this conversation that you'll come
back for more. Please subscribe, rate and review where you
find your podcasts, and tell your friends. For more parenting
info and advice, please check out the ground Control Parenting
website at www groundcontrolparenting dot com. You can also find
us on Facebook and Instagram at ground Control Parenting and
on LinkedIn under Carol Sutton Lewis. Until the next time,
(43:48):
take care and thanks for listening.
Hello, and welcome to Ground Control Parenting, a blog and
now a podcast creative for parents raising black and brown children.
I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis. In
this podcast series, I talk with some really interesting people
about the job and the joy of parenting. This season
on Ground Control Parenting, we're talking to experts about some
of the best ways to think about and handle a
(00:25):
variety of important parenting topics. And today we're focused on
a topic that can strike fear into the hearts of parents,
how to talk with our children about drugs. With us
today are two experts who come courtesy of the Partnership
to End Addiction, a nonprofit organization aiming to prevent the
misuse of legal drugs. With their help, we're going to
learn about how parents can get smart and help their
(00:47):
children get smart about substance use and abuse. Patricia Awesome
develops accessible resources and services for families affected by substance use,
translating complex topics into actionable insights on trends, interval parenting strategies,
and treatment options. As a spokesperson for Partnership to End Addiction,
she covers vaping, marijuana, opioids, treatment medications, and co occurring disorders.
(01:11):
Pat holds master's degrees in Business administration and counseling Psychology.
She's licensed as a mental health counselor in New York
and New Jersey, and she's a certified Master Addiction Counselor.
Pat also maintains a private practice and serves on the
board of Community and Crisis, a nonprofit combating the opioid epidemic.
Carla Summers is the founder of Andrea's House, which provides
women recovering from substantious disorders a safe, supportive environment to
(01:36):
heal alongside their children. Carlia was inspired by her faith
and personal journey to create Andrea's House in twenty nineteen.
Combining professional expertise with personal experience as a mother in
long term recovery. Carlea employs a holistic approach addressing physical, emotional,
and spiritual.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Needs at Andrea's House.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Her mission is to empower women to rebuild their lives
with renewed purpose, confidence, and essential life skills within a compassionate,
hope filled community. Welcome to Ground Control Parenting, Pat and Carlia.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Thanks Carol, it's great to be here.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
I am so happy to have the both of you
here to share on a topic that concerns many parents.
What we need to know and what we need to
tell our kids about drug use, abuse and addiction. So
let's get started. Carla, as I noted in the intro,
you are the mother of three children, you're in long
term recovery, and you've created a place for women recovering
(02:31):
from substance abuse to heal alongside their children. Can you
tell us about how you were able to make this
journey from needing help with substance abuse to providing it
to others.
Speaker 4 (02:41):
Sure.
Speaker 5 (02:41):
So, when I got sober, my son was ten months old,
and one of the hardest things was not having the resources.
I remember a lot of times having to choose between
whether I wanted to go to work or go to
an AA meeting, you know, whether I.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
Wanted to go here, I had to pick and choose.
Speaker 5 (02:57):
Obviously limited finances and resources at that time. And so
as I went through it and I realized how hard
it was, I really really realized that I had a
passion to help other mothers dealing with this. So what
I did was I went back to school and I
decided to do something about it. There are currently not
(03:18):
many resources in the state of Maryland for women and
children for them to recover together.
Speaker 4 (03:24):
So that was the biggest thing, was to.
Speaker 5 (03:26):
Create an environment where this was not out of the
norm but something that they could easily access.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
And when you say for them to recover together, are
there resources for the children to help them through the
process as well as the mothers.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
Yes.
Speaker 5 (03:40):
So we just got funding for a new project called
Building Bridges, which will allow us to provide homeschooling for
our children for the first time in the history of
the program. So from ages zero to four, we're now
going to have a curriculum where they're learning alongside of
their mothers, which is really great.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Oh, that is great. That is wonderful.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
And Pat, you've spent many years working with families affected
by substance abuse. So what trends are you seeing in
terms of drug experimentation and abuse among children and young
adults today.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
Well, so the first thing I would say is that
the trend is that fewer kids are using substances period.
That's good, It's really great. It's it's been declining since
the nineteen nineties. So as an example, in nineteen ninety seven,
seventy five percent of high school seniors had had a
drink in the past year, that number is down to
forty two percent.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
So think about that.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
It means like roughly sixty percent of kids are not
using alcohol, and in fact that the trend lines for
other substances is about the same. That said, it isn't
all good news. They're you know, vaping is still with us,
and there's a nicotine arms race with vaping to try
and make the nicotine more powerful and the harshness of
(04:57):
it covered up by flavors. So as much as we've
tried to ban flavors, that still hasn't really happened. Nicotine
pouches like zin are skyrocketing, so there are these little
tiny pouches that kids put in their mouth and then
they absorb nicotine. Which is concerning cannabis. Marijuana is still
problematic in a number of ways, mostly because what we're
(05:21):
seeing is a proliferation of products. So obviously there's always
been smoking flower, but there's now edibles. There are THHC,
which is a psychoactive ingredient that gets you high infuse
drinks and beverages. There are salves that you can put on,
just all kinds of different ways to use it. But
more concerning is how potent it is. And what we're
(05:45):
seeing is with increased levels of potency, we're seeing more
kids having problems with depression, anxiety, suicidal thinking, and really
terrifying as psychosis because a lot of daily marijuana use
can then lead to very serious psychotic disorder. Alcohol is
still popular. We're seeing more and more very sweet beverages.
(06:07):
Instead of saying soda pop, we say Alco pops. And
then sometimes there's still the misuse of prescription stimulants like
adderall And then probably the biggest trend I would worry
about in terms of overdose risk are counterfeit pills that
are on the market and kids are seeing those on
social media. The pills are often laced with ventanyl, which
(06:28):
is a very powerful opioid, and so they may think
they're getting a xanax, which is like an anti anxiety pill,
and instead of getting xanax, they're getting something laced with ventanyl,
and they take the pill and their parents find them
overdosed in their bedroom. So those are the biggest trends probably.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
So just the backing up on that last one, So
kids can look on the internet and get these normally
prescription drugs just by paying money for it. I mean,
how do they get access to the counfifeit drugs?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
So there are various ways in terms of either TikTok, Instagram,
Facebook or Snapchat in particular. And so they go online
and they buy pills have them delivered to their house.
They use emojis to do it. So I think it's
(07:21):
really important for parents to be savvy about the emojis.
So as an example, if you see a plug, you know,
like an electrical plug, it means that you're trying to
hook up you know, can you hook me up with
a drug? If you see, you know, a school bus
might represent xanax. I mean, there's this whole other language
of folks talking about that.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Oh good to know.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Parents take note, pay attention to what your kids are
doing on Snapchat and TikTok.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
So for parents thinking about their children experimenting with drugs
abusing drugs, it's easy to panic about it.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
It truly is.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
And when you add it to all the other things
that parents worry about, sometimes it's tempting.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
To take its sort of ostrich approach to this one.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Just you know, you sort of you don't know, I
mean for example, the emojis and the snapchat. I mean,
if you don't know that, you don't know what's going on.
And sometimes it's easier for parents to just bury their
heads and say, you know, my child would never and
we all know that that's not the case. So we
need to start talking to our kids about drugs at
an early age. But pat when and how should they start?
(08:28):
I mean, at what point is a good time to
start having those conversations.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
So I think earlier is better, like waiting till you're
a kid is in high school getting ready to go
to the promise probably too.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
Yeah, but I think you know, we've.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Even talked about you know, you're giving your kid a
gummy that is their vitamin, right, and so explaining to
your child why you take one gummy I'm not twenty
is important. And I think also, you know, explaining why
we take medicine as prescribed by a doctor is really important.
So just kind of planting those seeds. And then definitely
(09:05):
by the beginning of middle school, because we start to
see kids really exposed to a lot of substance use
at that point in time. So I think having the
conversation is important. And by the way, It doesn't have
to be the drug talk. It can be a series
of conversations. You know, you're walking down the street and
you get a big whiff of marijuana. It's like, turn
(09:27):
to your kid and say, what do you think about that?
What do your friends think about that? You know, that
sort of thing. And I'm sure Carlya, you know you're
doing your education of the kids when they're young and
with their moms, and obviously in families where there's a
substance use history, it's a concern. So the earlier you
start talking about that, it's the more important. So I'm
sure you can add to the conversation.
Speaker 5 (09:49):
Here, absolutely so, pat you you are spot on, beautifully said.
Speaker 4 (09:55):
I am very honest.
Speaker 5 (09:56):
And upfront with my children about the disease, addiction, about
my addiction, about what's.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Going on in the world right now, what they may.
Speaker 5 (10:05):
Encounter, because my thought is, I don't want anyone else
talking to my kids about these things. I want to
be the one to give them the truth and the facts.
And how I do that is by being open and
honest with them, not by hiding things from them.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Smart you know, I just want to back up a minute.
A new thought from this conversation is the concept of
the gummies, because I mean, I take a gummy for
my vitamins, and kids definitely take vitamin gummies. As you
give your children gummies, it's probably good idea to say,
here is your vitamin. You should only take gummies from me.
I mean, because I can imagine that if you don't
(10:42):
have that conversation, somebody gives them a gummy, they're like, ah,
you know, I take these, No big deal. So it's
really good at a good entry to start talking about
the fact that you have to be very careful about
the things that you ingest and who gives them to you.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
So that's really good, now, Carla.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Lots of parents have expect I meant it, with drugs
at some point in their life, and lots of parents
have experimented with drugs have not moved on to abuse
them and had addiction problems. I wondered how much to
reveal just about any kind of drug interaction to their
children as they start these conversations. I mean, if you're
talking to a very young child, obviously you don't go there.
But I mean, no, honesty is really important, but is
(11:21):
it always the best policy when you're answering questions about
what you did and when you did it.
Speaker 5 (11:27):
So, Carol, I think it really depends on the situation,
and I have two really unique ones. So in the
case where I ended up taking custody of my brother
due to our father's drug addiction, I had to be
straight up with him. I had to be honest. There
was nothing to sugarcoat. He had seen things that he
should not have seen for the age he was and
he wasn't even in middle school yet, so this was
(11:49):
a very challenging situation where I couldn't talk to him
as if he was a young child. I had to
talk to him based on the trauma that he had
endured and what he had been expo to. For my children,
I agree waiting until middle school. That's when I really
started explaining to them. And I have a relationship with
(12:09):
my children where they know I'm in recovery. They volunteer
with me in the recovery community, so a lot of
times they ask the questions, and what I've found is
putting them in atmospheres where they can see others getting
help from this disease has really triggered them to ask
some really meaningful questions, but has also made them step
(12:31):
back and think, maybe this is not what I want
for my life.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
And that's a really good point because all of us
have seen people who have been in the throes of
addiction and it's not a pretty site, and our children
don't always have the opportunities to see that. I mean,
if you live in New York City, your children definitely
have the opportunity to see that, But in smaller towns
or you know. So, yes, that's a really good point
to expose your children to it, as opposed to try
(12:57):
to again be the ostrich and pretend that it doesn't
have anything.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
To do with you guys.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
So the answer is, unless there's some other reason to
start earlier, that middle school is a good time to
start talking with your kids and pat to your point,
not like, sit down, we have to talk about drugs,
but you kind of hard pressed now to be in
the world and not have some reference to drugs or
alcohol come up by virtue of what you're watching on
TV or walking down the streets.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
So good to know.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Good to know that's the timeframe now that some dogs
like marijuana are just more readily available to our kids
than they were to our generation or older generations. Since
now they're legal, how can parents get smart about them?
Now parents may or may not have experimented, and perhaps
(13:43):
now they don't have anything to do with marijuana. But
it's all over the plate. It's legal in many states,
it's in the air. How do you get smart about
it if you're not, if you don't use it, or
even if you do.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
So it's tough because the marijuana landscape is changing on
a daily basis. That said, on drugfree dot org, which
is the partnership to End Addiction's website, we've got a
ton of information about what it is, what the risk
factors are, what to look for in terms of signs
of use, and then really a step by step guide
(14:18):
on you know, your kid is going to say, but
you smoked when you were my age and you know
you're fine, or they'll say it's it's a plant. How
bad can it be? You know, like like every plant
in the world, like poison ivy. They're all okay, and
I say that in just but you know, it's natural,
(14:39):
it's organic. You know, you hear all of it, and
you're just trying to stop me from having fun. And
so there's a question that the kid asks and then
their answers, and sometimes that's helpful for parents to be
equipped with those answers. But I think, you know, it's
one of those things where for parents to have a
(15:00):
little bit of understanding about brain science is really important.
So understanding that brains, which are like mission control for
our kids, they're not fully developed until they're in their
mid twenties, so any substance use can take it off track.
And while you know, there are some kids who probably
could smoke occasionally and be fine, there are a lot
(15:21):
of kids where they're not going to be fine and
they're going to have problems, and so I think it's
really important to make those distinctions. We have a risk
assessment tool on our website as well that work walks
people through. Here are some of the risk factors that
are going to make a difference in terms of whether
your child's experimentation, which we would rather not have them
(15:45):
do until their brains are fully developed. But if they
do experiment, you know some kids are going to progress
to a substance use problem. We know that the longer
they wait, the better. So one of the messages we
try to give over and over and over again is delay, delay, delay, Right,
so if you wait and at least until you're twenty one,
but risk of addiction goes down dramatically. Just a few
(16:07):
things I think are important for parents to be aware of.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
You know, the brain science is a really important point
because I don't think parents talk to our kids enough
about this. I mean, the fact is that your brain
doesn't fully develop until you're twenty five, and so that's
a legitimate answer to a lot of questions. But you
can't rent a car until you're twenty five. I mean,
there are reasons why it takes that time to sort
(16:32):
of fully develop your ability to appreciate risk. Just a
side note speaking about risk and Carly, I'll ask you
you have three children.
Speaker 2 (16:39):
Do you have to know your child?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
I mean, Pat, you mentioned that some kids were going
to get addicted. Is there ken a parent? You certainly
have to talk to all of them. But is it
better to give everybody the same message? Or should you
assess if you have a child that you think is
more of a risk taker and give them a slightly
different message.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
I think Carol, you have to you got a new
the kid. Every kid is different, and with my three children,
all three of them are different.
Speaker 4 (17:05):
I call my youngest, the wild card.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
She's the one we're probably gonna be a little bit
more hovered over.
Speaker 4 (17:11):
It just comes out in our personality.
Speaker 5 (17:14):
But we are a family that has struggled with generations
of addiction, so that conversation is imperative. At some point,
we cannot skip that conversation. However, my son is not
has never used drugs or alcohol. He doesn't, he's not interested.
And he's the one that I say, we grew up together.
(17:36):
When I got sober, we you know, he was with me,
so he's seen, you know, the progression and what it
took for me to get my life back on track.
Speaker 4 (17:45):
So it's it's different with all three of them.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
I think for each child that you have, or each
kid you're dealing with, you really have to assess what
their needs are and where they are in life.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
We'll be right back after these messages. Welcome back to
the show, and I'll ask both of you this question.
And you may be living in a state where marijuana
is legal, and you, the parent, may choose to eat
a gummy or I would say smoke a joint. I
don't know if that's still what you say, but we
can still smoke a flower whatever you know, instead of
(18:19):
a glass of wine. And I know that in some
states that's perfectly legal to do. So does a conversation
change if you yourself are a periodic, recreational only user
of cannabis. I mean certainly that would impact your child's
perspective on when whether to even approach it. I mean,
(18:41):
if all the parents that are legally able to smoke
marijuana or use cannabis in any form, I mean, do
they have to stop in order to raise children that
don't abuse it?
Speaker 3 (18:53):
So I'll jo Fan and then Carly, I'd love to
hear what you have to say.
Speaker 4 (18:58):
So I think with any.
Speaker 3 (19:00):
Substance use, whether it's marijuana, alcohol, any substance use, I
think it's really important for parents to distinguish that this
is adult use. So we've actually tried to replace the
word recreational with adult use. That's good for the first
part of it. The second thing I would say is
if you come home after a really rough day at
(19:23):
work and you say, oh, you know, I have to
hit my one hitter or my bone, or smoke or
take a gummy or whatever, or I have to drink
a glass of wine, you are conveying to your kid
that this is how I cope with stress. I would
much rather have you convey it in some other way,
like I'm coping with my stress by taking a walk
(19:44):
or putting the dog or doing something else. So I
think that's really important. And I also think it's important
to secure whatever you have because obviously, if it's in
the house, it's really easy to access it. And the
more easily accessible substances are, the more kids are likely
to dabble. But if they see you like having fun
(20:06):
or laughing and giggling and whatever, it does send a
message of this will happen for me too, and it
doesn't always necessarily go that way.
Speaker 1 (20:15):
Yeah, I mean, I do think I like the calling
it adult use versus recreational because it just drives home
the point that with alcohol, with cannabis, with all it's
sort of the adult choice versus the choice of the
twelve year old or the fifteen year old, I mean,
and that makes a big difference. Again, back to the
brain chemistry, it makes a big difference. You can't just
do I mean, there's a lot of things you can't
(20:36):
do because your parents do it, I mean in life,
and that's a lesson that you get early on so
so good. It's important to parents out there, it's important
to make the distinction. But also, you know, if you
have children that are impressiable, maybe just don't do it
around them for a while.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
I mean, be discreet.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
It's definitely worth it so you you don't send the
wrong signals. So, Carlia, let's say you find out that
your middle school or your freshman in high school has
been experimenting. You find out that they I mean maybe
they come to you and say, oh, I ate a gummy,
or you find something in their backpack or whatever, the
(21:14):
instinct might be to panic, overreact and sort of forbid
them from leaving the house again.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
But how do you manage.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Your reaction, your overreaction, because we know that sometimes overreacting
can have the opposite effect.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
What does work for me is definitely not overreacting. I
think overreacting is the worst thing you can do and
will trigger a middle school or a teenager to rebel instantly.
Speaker 4 (21:39):
I personally, I meet them where.
Speaker 5 (21:43):
They are, you know, because that's what I do for
a living. I meet people where they are. I like
to figure out what's going on, Why is this going on?
Is there a particular situation that triggered them to want
to use all those things matter. Was there a trauma?
Was there something that I missed? And so I I
think the best thing to do is also remember that
(22:04):
we're human, right, that we were once teenagers, we were
once young and didn't necessarily make the best decisions. So
I don't take the holier than thou approach my kids.
I take it, Okay, I've been here before, and so
how would I want my mom to talk to me
when I was going through this situation.
Speaker 4 (22:24):
So I very much keep that in the back of
my head.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Yeah that, Do you have anything to add Yeah, I
mean I think it's like step back, take a deep breath,
like this isn't the end of the world. We're going
to get through it. We're going to walk you through
it and understanding the why. I mean, if you think
about it, if I told you that I could give
you something that's going to relieve your boredom, allow you
to escape stress, help with your depression, maybe help you
(22:49):
sleep at night, maybe have better sex, maybe lose weight,
maybe gain weight. Whatever drugs work, they really work very powerful,
they work very quickly, and so you can understand why
in the short term, it looks like a good solution,
and it may look like a good solution, especially to
a kid who doesn't have all the coping skills and
(23:10):
mechanisms and what have you. So I think understanding that's
really important and then really looking at how can I
help my kid develop a healthier way of dealing with
this particular situation than using substances. So, as an example,
I was working with a family at one point and
their sixteen year old was smoking weed in the afternoons
(23:33):
after school in his room, isolating, and his parents were concerned,
and so they wanted him to get out and do
more things. He happens to play tennis, so they ended
up putting him in a recreational tennis group that meets
in the afternoon so that he could be with other kids,
(23:54):
have something to do other than hanging out in his room. Now,
does that mean he's going to stop smoking marijuana, Probably
not completely, But it gave him something else to do
instead of sitting in his room being bored and smoking
and feeling lonely. Right, So I think, wherever you can
find a substitute really helpful. And then if it looks
(24:15):
like it's getting to be a bigger problem, you take
your child for an evaluation. You know, I think some
people immediately go from oh problem to rehab. There are
a lot of places in between where you can go
to get help.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
Yeah, that actually segues nicely into the next thing I
want to talk about, and that is, Okay, you have
advanced from monitoring your children and pouring into them the
information about drugs to perhaps discovering they've been experimenting, to
the next phase, which is wondering whether you actually have
a problem. And both of you can answer this question
(24:51):
for me, how do parents distinguish between what's common teen experimentation?
And it gets complicated because many of us are immediately
remembering our experiences and aligning ourselves with what we think
our children's doing are doing. But how that we distinguish
between the common I don't want to say common teen experimentation,
(25:12):
like every kid experiment, but the child who tries it
or does it a couple of times too, signs of
a deeper issue.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
What is the evaluation process there?
Speaker 5 (25:23):
So I have two things that I use to evaluate.
One is a loss of interest in things. Anytime I
see a loss of interest and something that I know
someone is very passionate about it's.
Speaker 4 (25:34):
Automatically a red flag for me.
Speaker 5 (25:36):
The second thing is the behaviors have the behaviors become
a radic and so drastic that it's not a character
of that person. And once you see those two things,
that's kind of like for me, the red light that
says this went from adult use, as Pat said, to.
Speaker 4 (25:55):
Something completely different.
Speaker 5 (25:56):
We're moving towards addiction because now we're solely hitting our
focus on substances instead of what we love to do
and who we are.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
I also think frequency of use is something else to
look at, So in some of the research that's been
done on this very topic, basically the takeaway is if
your kid's using something once a month, and when I
say something, maybe having a beer or they take a
hit off of a joint once a month, it's not
(26:27):
time to panic. But when it becomes more frequent than
that is when you have to really take a good
look at it because it probably is going to turn
into something more problematic. And again, if it were other substances,
like if they were doing cocaine or meth or something,
then we're into a whole different ballpark and I would
(26:48):
definitely want to get help for those situations.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
And you mentioned evaluation. What is that first step? Who
does the evaluating?
Speaker 3 (26:58):
So you can take people to a therapist who's trained
in addiction or a psychologists trained in addiction. Some pediatricians
might be able to help, although my experience when my
kids were younger is that it was my pediatricians sort
of looked like Bamby in the headlights when I would answer. So,
I do think finding a professional in the psychology field
(27:22):
who's trained in addiction can be really helpful.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
You guys have said this very well, but I want
to drive home the point that when we talk about
substance abuse, use and abuse, we're talking about alcohol as
much as we're talking about drugs. I mean, usually we
think of drugs as cannabis, cocaine, you know, sort of
hard drugs. But all that we've said with respect to
how you model your behavior for your kids and how
(27:47):
you manage stress, I mean most parents think nothing of
the concept, oh, I need to drink, you know, I
have to. This is how I cope with a stressful situation.
And I think we just have to be mindful that
our children and see this. And when my children were
growing up, which is they're all in their twenties and thirties,
now alcohol abuse and alcohol related horrific illnesses were on
(28:11):
the rise, and so the concern was as great about
drink too much and go into some sort of stupor
or I mean just horrible things can happen if you
have alcohol poisoning, and so it's as important to let
your kids know when you're talking to them in those
early days about drugs, you're definitely also talking to them
about alcohol.
Speaker 3 (28:30):
Point well, mate, I mean, I think, as you've noted,
a lot of people kind of put alcohol in a
different category, which is why we use kind of an
umbrella TERMO substances. So it's alcohol and everything else. And
parents should know. Kids do not drink to sip their
wine and small the bouquet or appreciate the hops as
and the beer. They're drinking probably to get drunk and
(28:53):
often binge drinking, which means that they're doing four or
five drinks in a very short period of time, which
can lead to alcolcohol poisoning. So I think it's really
important for parents to know the signs of alcohol poisoning,
to teach it to their kids, and to really help
them understand. You know, if you need help. We're not
going to hope that they sleep it off or try
(29:14):
to give them coffee or something to help them get
over it, because that doesn't work. But rather you might
need actual professional medical help in order to address alcohol poisoning.
Speaker 1 (29:25):
And I agree, and I would say that even for
parents who don't believe their children have any interest in
alcohol at this point, any any substance. But if we're
just focusing on alcohol, it's really important to have the
conversations with them about not only what it can do.
You know, if you drink in a short a lot
of things in a short space of time, and they
could be sweet flavored things that you don't taste the alcohol,
and it could have a really detrimental effect. But we
(29:48):
have to talk to about how to handle yourself in
a situation when someone's offering you this. I mean, you know,
we say just say no to drugs, but they also
need In many instances, teens and younger people are going
to be offered alcohol earlier, perhaps even then they're going
to be offered drugs. And you said before, we're human
(30:10):
and our kids are human, and they can know in
their minds that this is not what they're supposed to do.
But I think we have to keep those lines of
communications open and talk to them about like role play
to an extent, like what do you do when so
and so says I mean you're going to have this.
There's a group of children who will say I will
say no and I will walk away sure, And then
there's a group that will say I will absolutely try
(30:31):
it no matter what. But the ones in the middle
who need they need some sort of counseling. I mean,
what other scripts? I mean, what should what should we
be saying to them? I mean, are are there ways
that we should help our kids think about how to
get themselves out of situations if they're offered drugs or alcohol?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
So I think, yes, there are scripts, but I think
the best thing to do is have your child figure
out what they'll feel comfortable saying. So, you know, and
we've got scripts on our website. But again, I think
it's one of those things where having a child figure
out what words am I going to feel most comfortable with? Helps.
The other thing is I know a lot of kids
(31:10):
who will get the red Solo cup right and they
look for someplace at the bathroom or whatever they dump
it out, but they you know, they put water in
it and they're carrying their red solo cups so they
don't look like they stick out. And sometimes, you know,
little tricks like that can be helpful. And the other
thing that we encourage parents to do with their kid
is to say, you know, if you need me to
(31:33):
come and get you, I will come and get you
at the drop of a hat. So just text and
it can be the letter X, which means get me
out of here, and I will send you a text
message saying you're brother sick, I need to come get you,
or I'll make up some excuse so that you know
that I'm coming to get you. And I promise I
won't ask any questions tonight. We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
No, I've talked to parents over the years about that
that get out of jail free card concept to sort
of just say the word, the safe word, I will
be there. We will not talk about it. We won't
talk about it that evening. Because you want your child
to know that, no matter how bad it seems, that
somebody can come and take them out, even if if
(32:17):
they've done something they know they shouldn't do. That we
need to be able to take them out of the
place the situation so it doesn't get worse.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
I just want to really impress on parents it's really.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Important to have these conversations before your children leave home,
Like if they're going off to college or they're going
off to boarding school. Even if you say, oh, my
child has no interests.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
They don't.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
They I asked them to taste wine, they say no,
they don't want it.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
I've seen it in so many instances.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
Where kids get to college or get to of school
away from home and they're encouraged to try it. They've
never tried it, and then things go terribly wrong because
they have no information as to how what to do
or you know, if you're going to drink you should
drink water.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
They have no idea, and that's where really, really terrible
consequences can come.
Speaker 1 (32:59):
So for all you parents who are still inclined to
the ostriches, you've got to get your head out of
the sand and just have these conversations with your kids,
no matter how uncomfortable it can be for the both
of you, just to sort of take this to the ultimate.
So if you have an evaluation, then there's a real problem.
At what point do you get to the conversation about
(33:20):
rehab or if there's a real substance abuse. Well, first
of all, if there is a substance abuse issue, is
it always rehab or is there other things that parents
can do at home to help their children.
Speaker 5 (33:30):
So for me, I believe that everything is not an
inpatient treatment setting, and having worked in inpatient treatment prior
to nonprofit, there are times where you can bring an
individual and in patient and treatment and actually make them worse.
You're exposing them to other individuals who are doing harder drugs,
(33:53):
who may have been in more difficult situations, and now
you have them coming back out exposed to a whole
new world of things. So I recommend self help meetings,
I recommend outpatient intensive outpatient treatment you know, or I
love partnership and I plug them for everything because you
(34:14):
can go onto their website and get help with just
about anything, you know, And so families understanding that they
don't have to do this alone.
Speaker 4 (34:22):
I think carol is the biggest thing.
Speaker 5 (34:25):
A lot of people like to isolate when they find
out their kids drug or alcohol problems have gotten out
of control. But what they really need to be doing
is reaching out to the professionals and people who see
this every day and can kind of walk them through it.
But throwing your kid into treatment is not necessarily the
answer if that's not what they're in need of.
Speaker 3 (34:46):
Yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly currently and I also
thank you for the enforcement of the version. But truly,
you know you're taking someone who is unhealthy, and this
is a health issue. I think something that's really important
for parents to keep in mind and other caregivers to
keep in mind. This is not a good kid versus
(35:07):
bad kid issue. This is a health issue, and so
you know, I think working with potentially someone who is
trained in addiction and or self help groups can be
incredibly helpful. In addition to that, I think there are
things that parents can do, meaning there are ways to
talk to your child about their substance use that can
(35:30):
be productive as opposed to like why did you do that?
What were you thinking? Right, So, there are some skills
that you can learn that can be very helpful. There
are also ways to encourage behaviors that you want to
see more of, and ways to decrease behaviors such as
substance use or other risky behaviors that you know you
(35:51):
can use to decrease behaviors and setting boundaries and at
the same time taking care of yourself because I know
some people, some parents who are wrapping themselves into pretzels,
worried about their kid's substance use and it's going to
derail their entire future, and you know, they really go
down the rabbit hole of how bad this could be.
(36:12):
But there's so many things that you can do. It's
very treatable, and earlier is better, right than letting it,
you know, continue to build and become more problematic. On
our website, we have a skill building course that's free
and it's really easy.
Speaker 4 (36:27):
To go through.
Speaker 3 (36:27):
It's both in English and Spanish, and it talks about
those communication skills and how to use behavior management techniques
that might be helpful in things of that nature, how
to set boundaries and stick with it, which is something
sometimes is really hard to do. You know, you tell
your kid, you know, I'm going to ground you for
two weeks, and all of a sudden, you know, two
(36:49):
days in, you're tearing your hair out saying why do
I say that?
Speaker 1 (36:53):
So, yeah, that's sticking with it on punishment is key,
but not easy.
Speaker 2 (36:59):
Wow, this is a really, really, really good advice.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
So I just want to I want to wrap up
with just an open question about this. Both of you
have had a lot of experience with various stages of this,
people who are curious and then people who have issues
with drug and alcohol abuse in their families. But what
is your best advice for parents who are very worried
about this, but who are most worried about how to
(37:25):
keep the lines of communications open, how to sort of
step back from any judgment that they may have and
really help your child build trust. I mean, are there
any tips or there any I mean you talked about communities,
parents in community with one another. Is that the way
to go? Or what do you say to a parent
who says, I have no idea how to do this
(37:48):
with my child?
Speaker 5 (37:49):
So I would tell them one, they need to educate theirselves.
Education is always the best prevention tool. You have got
to educate yourself on the disease of addiction. Secondly, you
need to listen. I've worked with a lot of families
they you know, Pat's touched on this quite a few
times that are just they're panicking and they're not listening
(38:12):
to what their child is telling them, and so they're
missing the signs they're missing whatever's going on because they
have their own plan and they're panicking about what's going
on currently, and so I think just doing those things
allows the child to feel as if you're accessible to
them and that they can come to you. The worst
(38:34):
thing that can happen is that a kid feels like
they cannot confide in you because now you've lost all
control and you have no idea what's going on. So
I just think it's important. And the last thing I
was suggested is allan On meetings. I went to allan
On meetings a lot because not only am I a
person in long term recovery, but I have lots of
(38:55):
family members in recovery, and so a lot of things
I had to heal on a different perspective and a
different side of this so that I didn't enable them
or I didn't, you know, not set appropriate boundaries. So
alan On meetings are a great place for families who
don't know where to start and want to meet other
families to get some advice.
Speaker 2 (39:16):
That's really really helpful.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
The other thing I would say is please don't make
every conversation you have with your kid about this topic.
They will look for ways to avoid you completely because
they just don't want to hear it again. So and
that isn't to say that every conversation needs to be
light and fluffy either, but I think it's really important
to understand that, you know, there's more to it. I
(39:40):
will never forget going to a support group meeting like
Carlia the speaking of and I was dumbfound because there
was a woman there whose daughter was prostituting in Patterson,
New Jersey and using heroin. And their agreement was mom
would come to power every week to have lunch with her,
(40:02):
and they agreed they weren't going to you know, the
elephant in the room was the substance use in the prostitution,
but they weren't going to talk about that. She did
that for five years and then her daughter got to
a point where she was like, you know what, I'm
ready for treatment. I'm ready to get help. And I mean,
obviously that's an extreme story, but I think it shows
that staying connected and keeping the lines of communication open
(40:24):
is critical.
Speaker 2 (40:25):
Yeah, boy, that is so true.
Speaker 1 (40:28):
And I really like what you have said about parents
finding community. I mean, at any stage of this process,
you don't, not only if you have a child with
abuse issues. But in finding community, you can practice with
your parent friends about what you would say before you
say it to your child. To your point, pat is,
if you find yourself talking about all the time, call
(40:49):
your friend and talk about it to them as opposed
to burdening your child. So Carly and path, this has
just been so helpful. Each of you have been so
incredibly helpful and and I'm going to wrap it up here,
but I want to say thank you so both so much.
It's been a great conversation. I'm also going to put
a plug in for the Partnership to End Addiction because
(41:10):
my parents, if you go to the website, so many
questions are answered, so many resources are given. These are
the people that brought you this is your Brain on
drugs for those of you who remember that commercial. But
they if you go in their website now, they've branched
out into so many different, really helpful ways for parents
to deal with these issues.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
So, ladies, they're just one more.
Speaker 1 (41:30):
Thing I'd like to do before we go, and I'm
going to ask you guys to play an abbreviated version
of the DCP Lightning Round. I asked all my guests
to do this and I'm going to ask Carli. I'm
going to start with you, and I'm going to ask
the both of you two questions, favorite poem or saying.
And then the second question is the favorite two children's books.
And they could be books you read when you were
(41:52):
young or books you read to children.
Speaker 2 (41:54):
So carl give me your favorite saying.
Speaker 5 (41:57):
All right, say, my favorite saying is the most wasted
days are ones without laughter, and that is by Ee Cummings.
My family, we base our whole lives around laughter. We've
had very serious things and we just love to laugh.
So and then my favorite book any Doctor Seuss book.
My mother collected every Doctor Seuss book and read them
(42:19):
to us faithfully.
Speaker 4 (42:20):
So I love Doctor SEUs.
Speaker 2 (42:23):
Yeah, and I love that laughter quote. I really like that.
I love that, Okay, Pat.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
So my favorite poem is The Guest House by Roomy.
So it really talks about you know, being willing to
sweep things out and open the door and accept whatever
walks through the door. And so I really I really
love that. The books I really had to just scratch
for that, Where the Will Things Are was one that
(42:53):
we read to our kids a lot, and I think
the other one was Cloudy with a chance.
Speaker 2 (42:57):
Of meat balls. Yeah, with the chance of me bulls.
Speaker 1 (43:01):
Yep, that was a favorite in our family.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
Well, thank you ladies so much.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
I'm just going to give one more plug because for
the partnership to end Addiction. The actual website is drug
Free dot org. Drug Free dot Org. Okay, great, thank you,
so thank you both so much.
Speaker 3 (43:18):
Thank you, Thank you, Carol, it's been a pleasure, and
Carly I great to see.
Speaker 4 (43:22):
You you too, Pat. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
I hope everyone listening enjoyed this conversation that you'll come
back for more. Please subscribe, rate and review where you
find your podcasts, and tell your friends. For more parenting
info and advice, please check out the ground Control Parenting
website at www groundcontrolparenting dot com. You can also find
us on Facebook and Instagram at ground Control Parenting and
on LinkedIn under Carol Sutton Lewis. Until the next time,
(43:48):
take care and thanks for listening.
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