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December 11, 2024 14 mins
Join Carol for a recap of Season 6, which offered parenting advice and expertise across all five stages of child development, from newborns to the grown and flown.  Carol revisits highlights from conversations with her incredible lineup of Season 6 guests. Tune in for expert advice, practical tips, and inspiring stories to empower you on your parenting journey. If you missed any episodes this season, this rewind is your perfect guide to catch up.And stay tuned for exciting bonus episodes coming your way soon! 

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hello, and welcome to the season six rewind of Ground
Control Parenting, a podcast creative for parents raising black and
brown children. I'm the creator and your host, Carol Sutton Lewis.
In this podcast series, I talk with some really interesting
people about the job and the joy of parenting. We've
spent this season exploring parenting issues in all five stages

(00:25):
of child development, from parenting newborns to the grown and flown.
So this season has something for everyone, and in this rewind,
I'll be bringing you just a few of the many highlights.
We started off talking about parenting babies with Lauren Wesley Wilson,
the CEO of Colourcom and the mom of an eight
month old. Lauren has recently written a book called what

(00:45):
Do You Need? How women of color can take ownership
of their careers to accelerate their path to success and
so naturally, one of the topics I asked her about
was how she was handling the mix of motherhood and work.
Since so many parents are focusing on how to manage capital,
which includes a busy external work life with raising kids,
I like to talk with my guests about how skills

(01:06):
from one arena can transfer to another. So I asked Lauren,
what new parenting skills do you find useful at work?
And I loved her answer.

Speaker 2 (01:15):
I would say the ability to say no and to
recognize that you're not going to do at all. Your
to do lists may not get complete, and that's okay.
You know, if I don't get a complete a do list,
that's fine, But like, look at your to do list
and try to complete like seventy five percent. It's really
just about checking off all those tasks. But the ability

(01:38):
to say no is so important. You got to start
saying no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
For expert advice on how to give our babies the
best start in life, I turned to doctor Leah Austen,
President and CEO of the National Black Child Development Institute.
We talked about the essential work the Institute is doing
to give us knowledge and resources we need for our babies,
especially when it comes to their health and learning. This
episode is packed with interesting and helpful tips and advice.

(02:05):
Here's just one example. What do you say in terms
of when parents should start thinking about educating their little one.

Speaker 3 (02:12):
Well, you should start thinking about educating them from the
moment you find out discover that you are pregnant.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
She went on to explain that babies can hear you
and learn in utero, and that once they're born, they
are constantly learning.

Speaker 3 (02:31):
They're learning from the moment they open their eyes, and
even you know, it's funny when they close their eyes,
they're still learning because the brain is still kind of
going and they're dreaming of all the things that happened
that day, and they're sort of putting them together. The
processing just keeps happening.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Next, we moved onto the toddler stage with more great guests.
I chatted with Brooke Devart Ozidon Lee, creator of the
Naked Beauty podcast and mom to an adorable three year
old son and now also mom to a beautiful baby girl.
Our chat was filled with practical wisdom about parenting toddlers
and taking care of yourself in the process. I asked
Brooke how busy moms can find time for self care,

(03:10):
and she gave such helpful advice.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
I think you have to schedule it. Actually make it
a block in your schedule. If you're going to take
that twenty minute walk or thirty minute walk around the neighborhood,
actually put it in your calendar. I don't know about you, Carol,
but I like I live and die by my calendar,
like if it's if it's on the calendar, it's happening,
you know, and telling other people around you, So telling

(03:34):
your partner, telling anyone who could potentially like impede on
that time that this is a meeting I have set
the same way you would have a dental appointment, and
you wouldn't just say like, oh, I'm not going to go.
You'd have to show up for yourself with the same
importance that you would show up for a medical appointment.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
To help us with the challenges of disciplining our bouncy toddlers,
I talked with noted child psychologist doctor Anna Louise Lockhart,
who gave us a clear and heal full definition of gentle, conscious, intentional,
and authoritative parenting. All this new language to help parents
move away from just overpowering our kids to get them
to behave She also reminded us that we shouldn't get

(04:12):
stuck on the terminology when we're trying to figure out
how to deal with tantam toddlers.

Speaker 5 (04:17):
We have to create our own parenting philosophy based on
who we are, who our spouse or partner is, who
the child is, their personality, their age, their developmental stage,
their diagnosis, their temperament, all kinds of stuff we have
to and our family structure. And so we can't just
base our parenting philosophy based on our old stuff because

(04:40):
we're in a new time and new generation, and we
can't say, well, I will never because you don't know.
And like I say, all the time, you have to
parent the child in front of you. And what I
often see parents do is it's like they're trying to
parent themselves.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
When we moved on from toddlerhood, one critical skill stood
out for children ages three to eleven, and that is reading.
Kids who want reading at grade level by third grade
often struggle to keep up later on, and research shows
that these kids are less likely to graduate high school
on time. The statistics are even more troubling for black
and Hispanic students. So it's important that we help our

(05:16):
kids develop strong reading skills from an early age. I
talked with children's book author Sharnay Gordon, who explained how
she got an early start on making sure her children
were focused on reading.

Speaker 6 (05:27):
I know that in order to raise children to be readers,
we have to be reading with our children at home.

Speaker 1 (05:35):
She described lots of ways she engaged her children with
reading early, like this clever tip.

Speaker 6 (05:40):
When both of my kids were really small, even before
they were walking. I labeled a lot of things in
our house with index cards.

Speaker 7 (05:48):
So desk, table, chair, toilet, window. Right, It's something very
simple that parents can do. Just label things in your
house and you'd be surprised. Like, and I would walk
up to my kids, okay, like go sit in your chair,
point to the chair, but also point to the index

(06:09):
card that says chair. And so they're constantly seeing chair, chair, window, window,
and so when they see it in a book, they understand,
they make the connection.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
There is so much to talk about when it comes
to our tweens and teens, and we lucked out this
season because our own Nancy Red, who's been a frequent
guest on the podcast, has written a new book, The
Real Body Manual, Your Visual Guide to Health and Wellness,
which helps tweens and teens understand their changing bodies, and
she joined me to talk about it. This medically vetted
book covers everything tweens and teens need to know about

(06:42):
their bodies, from puberty and hygiene to mental health and
self esteem. It includes topics like breast size, penis size,
and skin condition. And it has lots of photos yep photos.
Nancy explained why these photos were so important.

Speaker 8 (06:57):
This generation, in particular, is just bombarded with images, air
brushed images. I mean, these kids just don't even know
what's real, what's AI at this point, and what's natural,
what is enhanced, and what's healthy and what's not. So
I really wanted to give my kids and their friends

(07:18):
and teens and tweens around the world a brief source
that relates to the issues that they have and provides
photographic evidence of what is and isn't something they should
be concerned about.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Talking with our kids about their changing bodies and the
different ways to care for them can be really tough
conversation for parents. Nancy and I talk about how we
can use this book to start those conversations in an
open and supportive way. Continuing the focus on parenting twelve
to eighteen year olds, we covered a major concern from
many parents of teens, the college admissions process. Now, I've

(07:54):
served on high school and college boards, I've spent years
moderating panels and interviewing experts on this topic, and I
have three kids who went through this process. So I
am making sure that GCP is here to help ease
your concerns and equip you with tools to navigate this
sometimes overwhelming journey. This season included an enlightening conversation with

(08:14):
two experts from the College Board, the organization behind the
sat AP exams and lots of college admissions resources. Stacy Phony,
a director on the Counselor Community Engagement Team, and doctor
Autumn Cavanists, director of Real Talk, which is a College
Board's college and career resource specifically for black students and families,
joined me to share lots of invaluable advice for parents

(08:37):
navigating this process. So the first bit of good news,
which would calm nervous parents everywhere, is that the chances
of their kids getting into college is better than most
parents might think. Stacy Phony explains.

Speaker 9 (08:50):
The first thing I want parents to know is that
when you look at the average in terms of acceptances
for colleges, three out of four more college applications are
being accepted by the colleges right and if you're looking
at public colleges is even higher. It's about seventy eight
percent of those applications that are submitted by students are

(09:13):
being accepted.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
In this episode, Stacy and Autumn offer healthful answers to
lots of our missions questions, including when and how to
start thinking about the admissions process, how standardized test scores
fit in the process today, financial aid, including some wonderful
scholarships offered by the college Board, and how to empower
your children to find the best college match. So, whether

(09:35):
you and your child are just beginning to think about college,
or you're guiding a senior who's in the thick of it,
you'll want to check out this episode. I had three
great conversations about the last parenting stage we covered this season,
which was parenting our young adults. I talked with Lisa Heffernan,
co founder of the very popular parenting website Grown and Flown,
about how we can encourage independence in our older kids

(09:57):
while remaining a steady source of support and guidance. Lisa
told us that the key to helping kids navigate their
late teenage early adulthood years is to teach them skills
and let go. Just like when teaching them to drive,
start by guiding, but eventually let them take the wheel.

Speaker 10 (10:13):
She explains, the goal is to get to the point
where you can be answering emails in the car while
they're driving. So we got to get from here to there,
but we don't drive the car. At no point do
we drive the car. We let them drive the car.

Speaker 11 (10:28):
We just give them less and less and less guidance,
from shouting watch that, to maybe just looking over at
the speedometer without saying a word, because everybody knows what
it means when someone else is looking at your spaedometer.

Speaker 1 (10:43):
The amazing actress Vanessa Bell Calloway joined me this season,
and we also talked about the importance of encouraging your
children's independence. As a mother of two adult children, one
who's recently married, Vanessa was really clear on how her
parenting had to change as her daughters got older. She
also gave advice on how to manage these changes. We
need to let go of the worrying about our children

(11:04):
and refocus on ourselves, she explains.

Speaker 12 (11:08):
And when I started letting them go, my whole life
changed because I was able to do more for Vanessa,
get back to.

Speaker 7 (11:15):
My career and full throttle and do what I needed
to do.

Speaker 12 (11:20):
Not that I don't worry about them, not that I
don't you know, I ask questions if I feel I
can if they know that they can come to me.
And if I approach a conversation and I feel resistance,
I shut up. I have learned just to mind my
business and speak to when I was spoken to.

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Vanessa was quick to add that stepping back doesn't mean
stepping away entirely.

Speaker 12 (11:44):
Now, that doesn't mean if I see something I don't like,
I don't say something because I am their mother, you know,
I'm just careful how I approach it, how I bring
it up, because you'll be having such a great time
with your kid and the next thing you know, you
have the argument because of the way something was brought up.

Speaker 1 (12:01):
The award winning actor Courtney b Vince also joined me
this season. He talked about parenting his twins, who are
now freshmen in college, and how the lessons of his
own life have guided him and helped him become a
better parent. Courtney shares how he and his wife, the
legendary Angela Bassett worked to keep their twins grounded, how
their navigating life is empty nesters, and why letting go

(12:22):
is a critical part of parenting. Okay, so clearly letting
go is a theme here, and as a parent of
three adult kids, I know how hard letting go can be,
but also how important this advice is. Courtney also talks
about his new book, The Invisible Ache, Black Men, identifying
their pain and reclaiming their power. He describes his journey

(12:42):
of grief following his father's death by suicide, the transformative
power of therapy in his life, and why he's passionate
about breaking mental health stigmas in the black community. He
told me he turned to therapy only because his mother told.

Speaker 13 (12:55):
Him to, and she said, I'd like you when you
go to Factor's inspective cities, I'd like you all to
find therapists, and I will do the same here in Detroit.
And so I was in shock, because I mean, I
didn't know what I was going to do, but I
definitely know that therapy wasn't a part of it. And

(13:16):
because my mother asked me, asked us, we both knew
we had to do it.

Speaker 1 (13:22):
The importance of seeking therapy if you need it, especially
for Black families, is something I've been talking about with
my guests for many seasons, and I'm so thrilled that
Courtney is shining a light on this important topic. Season
six of Ground Control Parenting with Carol Sutton Lewis has
been a wonderful survey of great parenting stories and advice
across all stages of child development. If you caught all

(13:43):
the episodes this season, I hope you've enjoyed them and
that you'll share them with your friends. And if you
haven't heard them all time to catch up on any
you've missed, and please stay tuned because we're not done
for the year. We have amazing bonus episodes coming your way.
Really soon. Want to connect beyond the podcast, I said,
end out a substack newsletter with parenting info and more
details on the podcast episodes, which I'd love to send

(14:05):
to you. The link to the newsletter can be found
in the episode notes for this re one. As I
say at the end of every episode, if you like
with you heard, please subscribe, rate and review where you
find your podcasts, and tell your friends I am Carol
Sutton Lewis. Thanks so much for listening, and take care
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