May 5, 2025 • 49 mins
In this powerful episode of Growing Tall Poppies, Dr. Nat Green sits down with Karla Warwick—a woman of incredible resilience, candor, and courage. With a career in journalism, marketing and communications, across numerous areas (including working with ministers and prime ministers!), Karla opens up about her multifaceted identity: mother, professional, wife, and now, celebrant.
Karla vulnerably shares her unexpected journey from high-functioning burnout and trauma into healing, self-compassion, and ultimately, post-traumatic growth.
They explore her role in parenting children with complex mental health challenges, and navigating a world that often doesn’t understand what’s happening behind closed doors.
🔑 Key Highlights:
- The hidden pain of high-functioning burnout
Karla reveals how long she ignored the signs that her body and mind were shutting down — and what finally made her pay attention. - When your identity is tied to giving
They explore the danger of over-identifying with being the helper, the doer, the one who always has it together — and what happens when that identity starts to unravel. - Turning toward the pain
Karla shares the visceral experience of allowing long-buried feelings to surface — and the unexpected physical and emotional pain that came with it. - The power of space, grace, and support
The role Karla’s husband and support network played in her healing, simply by holding space without judgment or pressure. - Using TRE (Tension and Trauma Releasing Exercises) and somatic tools
How Karla integrated body-based techniques like TRE and meditation to start feeling again and realign her internal systems. - The trauma archetypes & post-traumatic growth
Karla discusses how editing the Break Your Trauma Cycle book not only reignited her professional passion but became a lifeline in her personal healing journey. - Self-worth, compassion & identity transformation
From not knowing her value to confidently reconnecting with her purpose, Karla shares how she rebuilt her sense of self.
Karla shares the raw, behind-the-scenes reality of what it felt like to "crash" after years of pushing through adversity. She opens up about the personal cost of chronic self-abandonment, the emotional toll of being a high-achiever, and the critical moment that forced her to stop, listen to her body, and truly rebuild from within.
This conversation is a powerful testament to the necessity of slowing down, the importance of nervous system regulation, and the life-changing gift of doing the real inner work — even when it hurts.
Connect with Karla:
Website
Break Your Trauma Cycle book
If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen
Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr Nat Green (00:01):
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.
(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.
(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have
(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.
I am super excited and gratefultoday to bring you our next
(01:28):
guest on the Growing TallPoppies podcast.
It's my absolute pleasure andprivilege to welcome an amazing
lady who I have actually had theprivilege of knowing since we
were in year six at primaryschool.
That's a little while.
I know, and as we've gonethrough the years and life
(01:51):
we've.
Been'life-ing' together andseparately and things have gone
on.
She has certainly experiencedand overcome some huge amounts
of trauma and adversitythroughout her life and has
agreed to come and chat with ustoday about her personal and
professional experience.
So let me start by welcomingKarla Warwick
Karla Warwick (02:14):
Thank you.
Nat I'm really pleased to be onthe show.
I'm so excited.
Dr Nat Green (02:19):
So am I.
So Karla has a background inmarketing and communications and
has also recently become aCommonwealth registered marriage
celebrant.
So let's start with you givingus a brief introduction of who
you are and what you do in theworld these days.
Karla Warwick (02:37):
Gosh, yeah, that's been the big question
I've been asking myself over thelast.
Especially 12 months now.
So who I am, I guess I'm definedin different ways.
So yes, I've had a, marketingmedia and comms background.
I've been doing that for quite along time.
If I tell you how long that ageus, both won't it.
So I won't say too much, butit's been considerable time.
I'm the mother of three childrenand the stepmother of one.
(03:00):
And I am enjoying a stage of mylife where my children are grown
and are amazing adults.
And so I get to spend lots ofgreat time with my husband and
my dog living in what I considerto be the most amazing part of
one of the most amazing parts ofthe country, which is Brisbane.
Dr Nat Green (03:17):
We might beg to differ on the most amazing
parts.
I'm glad you clarified one of.
I know you've done a hugevariety of things throughout
your career, so I know that weare not just gonna look today at
career, but let's start with thesort of work you've done.
(03:39):
Throughout life.
Karla Warwick (03:40):
Yeah, sure.
So look I've been a journalist.
I've worked as a marketingmanager for a local, for a
council for TAFE Institute.
I've worked in a couple ofdifferent departments at the
Australian government level.
So I've worked for theDepartment of Defense what used
to be called Human Services.
And it's been a reallyprivileged role because, both as
(04:01):
a journalist and then in my.
job With the Australiangovernment.
I've worked with ministers andprime ministers.
I've organized, national events.
I have been at the forefront ofsome pretty important things for
the country's history and.
When you're in the middle ofsomething like that, you just,
you do what you need to dobecause that's your job.
But when then you look back yourealize just how absolutely
(04:23):
privileged you are.
I've been through, parts ofParliament House that not
everybody can see, and it's themost magnificent building.
And it's just been the mostincredible career.
Which was all accidental in away.
I've never been reallydeliberate about my career.
I've just taken opportunitiesthat they've come and I've
fallen into the most amazingexperiences.
Dr Nat Green (04:45):
Yeah.
You certainly had a wide varietyof experience and no doubt
you've learned lots and lots ofthings, both good and bad and
both challenging and not sochallenging along the way.
So I'm just wondering how, likeyou said, you are a Mum of three
(05:07):
beautiful children and Step Mumto one beautiful child.
They're all adults now.
They're not children.
And you identified as a wife, apartner, a Mum, and also in the
marketing communications side ofthings.
So how have you managed tojuggle all of those various
(05:29):
roles.
Karla Warwick (05:31):
Yeah, that's a really interesting question
because I look back now and Iwonder how I did it.
I have quite a few postgraduatequalifications.
I was working full-time withthree children while I was
completing those.
And my children have all hadvarying degrees of challenges in
their lives.
Different to what you wouldnormally expect raising
(05:51):
children.
So I've got a child who'sneurodivergent.
I've got we've dealt with awhole range of mental ill
health.
So there's been eatingdisorders, cutting suicide
ideation.
The most incredible challenges.
How did I do it?
I think it was good.
Fortune more than good design.
I think it was about stayingfocused on what had to happen at
(06:14):
that time.
And so you know whether, and itdoesn't matter what your
challenges are, if you've gotmultiple things happening, which
happens when you're a workingparent.
Let's face it.
You learn very quickly to focuson what's most important at that
time, to cut out as much noiseas you possibly can to your time
management improves greatly.
Your ability to prioritize issharpened and you learn.
(06:40):
You learn to not sweat the smallstuff, especially when your
children, as I, as mine, weresome of the things that other
parents might get really workedup about with their children.
I'd go, I don't really care.
Because you know what?
Today they haven't tried tosuicide.
Today they ate today, theydidn't cut themselves.
Today, they went to school.
And so if my child isn't thebest at sport or doesn't get the
(07:03):
top of the class.
Today my child is happy.
And to me that is the mostimportant thing.
So I think it's a whole range ofdifferent things, but it's about
perspective and aboutmaintaining focus on what you
think is most important, andthen digging really deep.
Because there have been somedays, especially when my son was
really unwell where I had to, atthe end of my day say, what are
(07:25):
the three things?
Today were great about today.
And depending on the day, it wasreally hard to dig, but if it
was, I got to eat a chocolateuninterrupted today, that was
one of my top three things.
Dr Nat Green (07:40):
And I do know that chocolate is one of your, I
think your top thing, to behonest, if I remember correctly.
Karla Warwick (07:47):
Yeah.
That hasn't changed.
Dr Nat Green (07:49):
But seriously, thank you so much for sharing
that so openly and honestlythat.
Navigating as a parent, a paththat thankfully a lot of parents
don't ever have to tread ishuge.
When you have one neurodivergentchild, when you have other
(08:14):
illnesses, mental healthconditions thrown into the mix
as well.
I can't even begin to imagine.
What that was like for them,obviously, but also for you.
So tell me a bit about some ofthat, if that's okay
Karla Warwick (08:29):
yeah, sure.
I am very open about thisbecause I feel like.
If people who are going throughthis can feel validated and gain
strength from my experiences,then I'm more than happy to
share them.
I'm not going to sugarcoat itwas really bloody hard and it
(08:49):
was one of the reasons my firstmarriage broke down.
I often joked that I think it'slike one in three families have
a child for who has a disabilityor a mental illness.
And so there are another coupleof families out there that
should be thanking us for takingon their responsibility.
And interestingly, I would liketo see what those statistics are
(09:11):
like now because I feel likethere's more known and
understood and it's spoken aboutmore.
So I actually think thosestatistics are probably much
greater and Covid hasn't helpedeither.
How did I get through it I Imaintained a focus on what was
most important.
So to me, my children are themost important thing ever, the
(09:31):
most important achievement thatI've ever made in life.
Regardless of what happensprofessionally, my children are
my biggest achievement.
And so maintaining that focus, Ithink being, willing to learn,
being open-minded about it,especially when you're talking
about mental ill health, becauseit's not a one size fits all.
Even a neurodivergent child.
It's not one size fits all.
Dr Nat Green (09:52):
No.
Karla Warwick (09:52):
And we're talking about a time when so my youngest
child is 25 this year, and hewas diagnosed with A DHD at six.
So there was not a lot knowneven then.
And so you were spending a lotof time being your child's
advocate.
So seeking to understand howthey were trying to put yourself
(10:14):
in the shoes of a young personwho did not feel like they
fitted in at all didn'tunderstand what was going on,
was scared and under threat, andacted out on that basis.
So you seeking to understandthat is why things are the way
they are for that individual.
And then taking an approach tobe as educated as you possibly
(10:34):
can.
And, but then going in and beingthe voice.
I was the mama bear.
We would joke quite often abouthow I would end up putting
people in therapy.
Which I would never do itdeliberately, but.
The approaches sometimes,particularly with my son the
approaches that people tookweren't going to work with him.
And, we had so much experiencewith people saying, he is gotta,
(10:54):
we've just gotta make him do it.
Or, let's look at exposuretherapy, like it's not gonna
work because we've tried it andhe shuts down and it makes it
worse for him.
He's so traumatized byeverything that has gone on
that.
None of these approaches aregoing to work for him anymore.
And then within the context, sowhilst that might be what he's
(11:15):
going through, we had, hissisters were experiencing their
own challenges and they werefeeding each other and they were
not in a positive way, but theywere reacting to what was also
going on in the family.
See, you just had to becompletely on top of it all the
time.
You had to be focused on theindividual and who was the
(11:36):
bigger priority at that point.
I can't say that I did it verywell.
And I know now based on what Ihave gone through, there was a
lot, there's a lot of traumathat was buried very deeply,
which I'm starting to work on,but at the time you don't, you
can't afford to afford doanything for yourself because
you need to focus on yourchildren.
(11:57):
Having said that, I didn't dothings super awesome.
I have learned in the lastlittle while to be a lot more
compassionate.
I was young.
I had my first child at I thinkI was 26, so that's very young.
There you don't get the book onhow to parent?
Dr Nat Green (12:13):
No,
Karla Warwick (12:13):
I didn't.
I didn't have any family closeby that could support me in
that.
I had, there were circumstanceswhere we didn't understand what
was going on with our children.
Others didn't understand theamount of times that I was
judged because my child was anaughty little boy.
Dr Nat Green (12:27):
Yes.
Karla Warwick (12:27):
And can't I parent them properly?
It's actually, hang on.
You come walk in my shoesbecause it's, these are not,
it's not just ADHD.
There were other things as well,and.
As an adult.
Further things have beendiagnosed, which I tried to get
when he was younger, butcouldn't get a diagnosis.
It's no wonder he was the way hewas.
And judging doesn't help, itdoesn't help the parent and it
certainly doesn't help the youngperson who's experiencing that.
Dr Nat Green (12:50):
I love that you articulated that, Karla, because
honestly, we see that so oftenand in my role when I was
working one-to-one with childrenand adolescents and families.
As a psychologist.
Oh my goodness.
So often we would hear the storyreflected back that, I was at
(13:14):
the shopping center and ofcourse, for a child who's
autistic or has ADHD, there wasso many triggers in a shopping
center, but you had no one elseto look after them.
You take them in and it's nowonder.
Their behavior is Yep.
Because they're trying tocommunicate what's going on and
the amount of judgment.
Karla Warwick (13:36):
Yep.
Dr Nat Green (13:38):
It's absolutely horrendous and I think, I take
my hat off to any parent whoadvocates beautifully for their
child because someone has to doit.
Karla Warwick (13:50):
That's right.
You need to be their voice.
Dr Nat Green (13:52):
we just don't Understand it the way that we
need to.
It's definitely improving, asyou said.
It's definitely getting betterthan what it was back then, but
we still have so much to learn.
So tell us what else you learnedin that journey that might help
people who are navigating thatright now.
Karla Warwick (14:10):
I think, as I said and I learned it late, be
kind to yourself.
And that is the one thing I wishI had done more of when I was
younger because you.don't knowyou don't know, No one knows.
It's just an unknown territory.
But yeah, definitely theadvocating, definitely seeking
to understand, not so that youcan have a label for your child,
(14:30):
but so that you can help themlive in a world that.
They might feel quite isn't,that is foreign to them.
So what are the skills andwhat's the opportunities that I
can make available to my childto help them function?
So my view was I always jokedparenting is strategic and it
(14:51):
absolutely is.
So you gonna have theseinteractions and children act
out at home because that's wherethey test where things are safe.
That's the safe environment forthem.
And then they take the skillsthat they learn in the home, out
into society.
And when you have children who,like my son could, can't cope.
There's, they get overwhelmedreally easily.
They find it difficult toexpress how they're feeling.
They're bullied because they'redifferent.
(15:13):
Then you've gotta help themdevelop the skills that they can
then become a functioning adultin society.
And you've gotta fight for thembecause, at the time that, that
this was happening, the NDISdidn't exist.
Yeah.
So a lot of this stuff was leftto either the public health
system, which was, has neverbeen well resourced.
And you would see someone for acouple of weeks and then they'd
(15:36):
leave and a new person wouldcome in and you have to keep
retelling the story, over andover again.
So the other thing I'd say isfor anybody who is in an area
where they're able to work withfamilies and children who are,
experiencing trauma as a resultof disability or mental ill
health.
Be very careful aboutretraumatizing people because
the amount of times my childrenhad to go back and talk again
about what's going on and howthey're feeling, and I had to go
(15:58):
on and do the same thing andpeople would not without any
history, would try and forcethese treatments on them when I
would say it's not gonna work.
And then they think I was theoverbearing, bossy mother who
didn't really care what wasgoing on with the child.
Actually, it isn't.
I know my child well, and youneed to trust that we know
(16:19):
what's worked and what hasn't,and start from where the client
or the patient, sorry, orwhatever the description is,
start from where they're yes andwhere the parent is not from
where you think things shouldbe.
Dr Nat Green (16:33):
Gold nugget right there and so many, and who
better to ask than the peoplewho've experienced it?
Yeah, we need to listen.
We need to listen more.
And yes, you are navigating thatpath and advocating for them to
the best of your ability.
And as you said, you didn't getit right every time.
(16:54):
You didn't, certainly didn't getit perfect.
There is no rule book,particularly when you have not
one, not two, but three.
Children with differentchallenges and varying degrees
of challenges.
And that takes an impact on you.
Karla Warwick (17:10):
Yeah.
Dr Nat Green (17:10):
On them.
Your relationship.
Karla Warwick (17:13):
Yeah.
Dr Nat Green (17:13):
And undoubtedly your work.
So how did you navigate therelationship side of things with
everyone in your life?
Karla Warwick (17:25):
Some relationships disappeared.
I'm very fortunate.
That even though it was one ofthe reasons that my first
marriage ended, that we both arestill quite close.
Good friends.
I'm, I'm very fond of my firsthusband.
(17:48):
I just don't wanna be married tohim anymore'cause I've got a
second husband.
And that's not legal inAustralia.
I think, and I think it'sbecause at that time too, we
remained focused on what's mostimportant and for us, For me, I
wanted my children to see thatjust because their mom and dad
didn't love each other anymoredidn't mean that we didn't care
for each other and respect eachother.
(18:08):
And I think that is especiallyimportant when you have children
who are already mentally unwell.
They don't need to see, theydon't need the angst and the
trauma that can sometimes happenwhen a marriage breaks down.
Dr Nat Green (18:22):
Absolutely.
Karla Warwick (18:24):
So I just remained focused on that.
And I think what I learned fromthat in a broader sense with
relationships is your firstreaction to somebody because of
their behavior needs to bechecked because you don't know
what's going on in their lives.
You don't know how they'refeeling mentally.
You don't know whether they'reneurodivergent.
So whilst you might respond orbehave in a certain way, that
(18:47):
is.
Different to the way thatthey're doing.
It doesn't mean one's right orwrong, but you need to make the
effort to seek to understand theindividual and their motivations
because that's how you buildreally good relationships.
And I've taken that into mywork.
Definitely.
I've managed people who've haddifficult circumstances with
their own children or they'rethey're not well, I've got a
couple of people in a team thatI work with now who are
(19:09):
neurodivergent.
So the experiences that I hadraising children, like the
children that I had has actuallymade me better at relationships,
I think generally.
And in the workplace.
And I feel like it has actuallymade me a better leader.
Dr Nat Green (19:25):
Excellent.
And I think you also touched awhile ago on compassion.
So no doubt by going throughwhat you experienced and walking
in those shoes and seeing.
Other people treading similarpaths, but understanding that
they will have their ownexperiences that compassion will
(19:45):
have come in.
Karla Warwick (19:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I may not have exactly beenwhere they are, but I've been a
lot of places with the thingsthat I have seen and been
through with my children.
I had to make a decision to putone in an adolescent mental
health facility for some time.
That's a really tough call tomake as a parent.
One of the decisions I regretnow because it actually, he came
out worse.
But you do what you think isright at the time, and so having
(20:10):
had all those experiences.
I think then I can demonstratethat compassion that you've
talked about when it comes tojust anybody with the challenges
that they're facing in their ownlives.
And I've also learned from myown experiences that if you can
just be compassionate towardssomebody in the workplace and
hold space for them when theyneed it, when they're not having
(20:32):
a great time, you can make sucha significant difference to
their lives, to their workinglives.
And to their lives in general.
And look, I don't think you cando too much of that in this
world.
Dr Nat Green (20:45):
No, I completely agree.
So you've touched a couple oftimes now on having been through
your own trauma experiences, sodid you want to share whatever
you feel comfortable sharingaround that as well?
Karla Warwick (21:00):
So I think I think the interesting thing is
that with trauma it can sneak upon you, bite you when you least
expect it, and that it can be aslow burn over a lifetime.
Dr Nat Green (21:09):
Yes, definitely.
Karla Warwick (21:09):
So whilst you know the experiences that I had
with my children.
Weren't great at the time.
They were not things that I hadthought had affected me too
badly until very recently.
And I had a workplace experiencelast year where I was clearly
burnt out and, the burnout camefor a number of different
(21:30):
reasons.
It was the pace that I'd workedpretty intensive.
Environment.
High demand.
High tempo.
And I had been doing it forquite a long time.
Dr Nat Green (21:40):
Yes.
Karla Warwick (21:40):
And we'd undergone significant changes
over a number of years.
And I also had started having aterrible time with
perimenopause.
Which is more than hot flushesand.
And temper swings, mood swingscertainly
Dr Nat Green (21:54):
Isn't it?
Karla Warwick (21:54):
It wasn't, and you name it, and I had it.
So I had, fogy, brain joint painitchiness there was just a whole
swag of things, so I was reallystruggling'cause I didn't I felt
like an alien.
It was the things that weregoing on was like, this is not
me, what is going on here?
And it was really quitedifficult.
So trying to manage that, getthat under control in this very
demanding work environment.
(22:14):
Then.
November, 2023, I had a totalhip replacement, so that's major
surgery.
Coming out of that surgerywasn't good.
There were a couple of momentswhere they pressed the alarm and
everybody came in.
So it was not the bestexperience and you literally
have to learn to walk again.
Yeah.
I had been in a situation whereI was, I had, I've run half
(22:38):
marathons.
I was very active at the gym.
I certain suddenly couldn't dothat anymore and I had to learn
to walk again.
So all those things was aperfect storm.
I was not in the right headspace.
And then the interaction at thetime with my supervisor was not
appropriate for the situationthat I was in.
And I basically went off workfor six months.
And got to the point where Icouldn't get off the lounge.
(23:01):
I had I just couldn't, I wasmentally and physically totally
stuffed, could not function.
Couldn't get off the lounge.
If I had to leave the house, Iwould have panic attacks, so I'd
have to come back very quickly.
I could do a little bit ofsomething around the house and
then I was exhausted and I hadto go back and sit on the lounge
again and have a sleep.
(23:22):
And physically and mentallygone, that was it.
And I have never ever been inthat point in my life.
Even when things were difficultwith my children, I could still
function and I could notfunction at all last year.
Dr Nat Green (23:33):
So when you look at that, so obviously as you
beautifully articulated thatperfect storm, so you'd carried
this load.
The kids, you managed to getthrough that you kept working,
you really continued to achieveamazing things in your career.
(23:53):
And your children are beautiful,well adjusted adults, and you've
managed to succeed and got themthrough or helped get them
through with community thatyou've been attached to.
So then you get to this pointwhere.
Perimenopause is there, plusyou've always been highly into
(24:16):
exercise.
Must have been that lack ofexercising as a child that just,
Karla Warwick (24:21):
I saved everything up for being an adult
when I could get a medal forcrossing the finishing line.
Dr Nat Green (24:28):
Exactly but looking at it as this perfect
storm where everything cametogether, when you look back now
six months ago.
And you described it perfectlywhere you were absolutely
exhausted and your, the way Iwould describe it is your
(24:50):
nervous system was fried.
Karla Warwick (24:52):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Dr Nat Green (24:55):
So what did you think was going on at the time?
Karla Warwick (25:00):
Oh, I had absolutely no idea.
I was in a total shock.
Because I'd never experienced itbefore, I'd always been able to
pick myself up and push aheadand, push past and bury the
feelings and just keep going.
Just keep going A little bitlike Dory, just keep swimming.
Yeah.
So I was flawed totally becauseI am look, I'm a high D
(25:21):
personality.
I focus on achievement,momentum, and outcomes.
I.
have Always prided myself onbeing resilient.
And I have always been able toget myself out of issues.
There's been situations where I,so I took a voluntary redundancy
at one point to care for my son.
It was an absolute nightmarewhere I ended up I was on carer
(25:43):
payment for a little while, sofinancially, not in the best
situation.
Got a job, got made redundant.
I had no idea where the next.
Paycheck was coming from, but Igot myself outta that situation.
But last year I sat there and Iwas like, I have no idea how I'm
gonna get outta this.
I act.
I felt like my career was over.
The way that I had received thefeedback, I thought, I, look, I
(26:08):
must just be.
Totally.
I'm useless.
I completely, and I'm gonnaswear I completely suck at what
I do.
I cannot I have nothing more togive.
I felt I was never suicidal.
But I felt like if I wasn't hereanymore.
No one would miss me because Idon't bring any value here.
(26:28):
There is no place for me in thisworld.
Wow.
And that's how bad it felt.
Yeah.
When you feel like that, youjust feel stuck.
You, yeah.
You just feel this is it.
This is my life.
This is, I just have to sit herenow and wait for nature to take
its course.
It was horrible.
It was the worst feeling.
I've.
ever had
Dr Nat Green (26:49):
Yeah, so I think, thank you firstly for sharing
that.
For opening up so vulnerably,because I know as a high
achieving professional.
It's the complete opposite towhat you've always aligned with
the whole identity.
That you had all thesechallenges raising kids, yet you
(27:10):
persevered and you came throughit and got them through it.
You've had a marriage breakdown,you got through it, and you
moved forward, and suddenlyyou're on a lounge.
Unable to do anything.
And I know we chatted a coupleof those days and you barely
could even speak.
Karla Warwick (27:27):
Yeah,
Dr Nat Green (27:28):
some days.
Yeah.
So when you look now, what doyou think were some of the key
components to moving out ofthat?
Or was there a powerful momentor milestone?
That stands out for you as tohow to, how you got yourself out
(27:50):
of that.
Karla Warwick (27:50):
Got out of it.
I think it was I guess it sound,it sounded terrible and it was
the worst and I would never wishit on anybody, but I'm really
grateful that I had thatexperience because I think
that's the magic happens then.
Yes, the magic happens when youare.
Feeling totally destroyed andyou have to rebuild.
So it taught me to stop.
(28:11):
And all the things that I hadbeen ignoring all these years I
had to pay attention to, and Ihad to go back to basics, and
that was listening to my bodyand my brain because they were
fried.
They were working in sync andstuff that I had intellectually
understood because I've lovedthis stuff for so long I had
(28:32):
not.
Internalized or built it intothe way that I, into my being.
So I had to go back to basics.
So that was a really pivotalmoment for me because I was
forced to face things the waythey were for me at that point,
and to meet myself where I wasand accept it.
Dr Nat Green (28:55):
Interesting.
So the advice that you giveabout professionals when they're
working with someone, meetingthe parent and the child where
they are, was something that youhad to take on board for
yourself and yeah.
Another thing that I just pickedup when you were talking then
and I'll describe it and see ifit feels like it makes sense for
(29:17):
you in the work that I do, isaround our three brains.
So there's the head brain, whichis the cognitive stuff, and.
Where we make sense of things.
There's the heart brain, whichis the emotions and where we
feel, and there's the gut brain,which is our inner knowing and
our intuition.
So when someone goes throughtrauma or adversity, what tends
(29:43):
to happen those three brains, atleast one, often two of those
three brains will shut down.
Just so that you can survive andthey're disconnected.
So we lose the capacity to feelbecause we wanna protect
ourselves.
It's too painful to feel.
And you said you just quashedthose feelings all those years
(30:07):
and it was too painful.
And too hard because for fearof.
Falling apart.
Yep.
And not being able to do it.
So as I say that, does that feelwhat was going on?
That they were disconnected?
Karla Warwick (30:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
And again, now that I've startedto do the work, I realized how
bad I'd gotten.
But, and it was definitely,definitely head and heart.
Gut as well.
I always, I pride myself on myinstinct and I'm usually always
right.
But some of my judgment hadgotten really skew if, and I
(30:43):
think it's just because thesethings had all been, I hadn't
taken care of myself and theywere not in sync anymore.
You just had to, you had to justlet yourself be there and give
it all time to reset.
So you know, the check-ins withyou, you made such a difference.
in my life at that time it was,oh, I'm so grateful for you.
(31:04):
And, my husband Simon just letme be, he could see what was
going on and he just, ma again,just made space for me to do
what I needed to do.
Dr Nat Green (31:12):
And that's important, isn't it?
Absolutely.
Giving you space and grace,giving yourself permission, but
that for him.
Yeah.
To know that is what you neededand validate that, but allow you
to do that when you wouldn'tallow yourself to do it.
Karla Warwick (31:29):
Yeah.
And in a beautiful way.
He would never say, what youshould be doing is this ever.
He would never do that.
He would just, wherever I was,he'd be there and he'd be my
support.
And if I was a bit grumpy, hewouldn't push me harder.
He would.
Give me time and accept myapology when I finally offered
it up.
And yeah, I think it is justabout, you just learn so much of
(31:53):
yourself and so starting to payattention to that.
So it was things like the TREexercises that you and I did.
It was.
The meditation that I was doingwhere instead of go, being busy
all the time, I actually wentno.
You gotta listen to thesefeelings.
You gotta pay attention to thesethoughts.
You've gotta start letting thatheart open up a little bit and
let those feelings out.
And they, that was really, itwas tricky because, I'm starting
(32:19):
to do that a little bit more,but it actually literally hurts
my heart to do that.
Yes, definitely.
I get this.
Isn't that incredible?
Like it's, and I'm not having aheart attack or anything like
that, but it's just when youturn and face those feelings and
you start saying, you know what?
That was really hard for you.
Yes, you did an amazing job.
Or go back even further to, an8-year-old kid bullied
(32:42):
chronically by people who weremeant to be my friends.
That would've been just so hardfor you at eight.
That was a really unkind thingpeople did to you then.
That's so cruel.
You deserve much better thanthat.
Dr Nat Green (32:53):
Yes.
Karla Warwick (32:54):
And when you start saying that to yourself,
my heart literally hurts.
Because I had buried it so deepfor so long.
Even now it's hurting a littlebit, but it's much better than
it was.
Yeah, it's just giving yourselfthe time and the grace, as you
said, to do the work.
And I think the other thingthat's really important, you did
a beautiful job managing me hereor saying is it the right time
(33:16):
for that?
Because you know the High'D' inme or the the
Dr Nat Green (33:20):
perfectionist, oh, did I say that?
Karla Warwick (33:22):
I am a perfectionist and I know it, and
I'm working on that.
The trauma archetype that I am,which it's, this is the brain,
it's escaped me.
Who, which is about that.
Have to move all the time andget that momentum you don't,
because you would say, is thatthe right time for this?
And I'd go, yeah, you'reprobably right.
I need to pause a bit more andnot rush.
(33:43):
Not rush my healing and not rushto get back feeling like I'm
ready to, get back into theworkforce and save the world
because I wasn't ready.
Dr Nat Green (33:52):
When you look back now, had you done that, where
would you be now?
Had you pushed yourself back onthe lounge yeah.
Like you'd done all your life.
Yeah.
Because that's, and let's behonest, that's what we were
shown.
That's what we were told.
That's what we thought we had todo.
(34:12):
Yeah.
Growing up, people just pushedthrough things and kept going.
Yeah.
And it's only now with thingsthat have been learned and the
understanding of our nervoussystems and somatic work that we
can go, hang on.
mmmm we owe it to ourselves, ourfamilies, the people that we
(34:32):
love and that love us back, thatwe need to really do the work on
ourselves.
Yep.
To move forward.
Yeah.
I take my hat off to you becauseyou did the work.
It's okay.
You needed a little bit ofadjustment along the way.
But don't we all, none of us areperfect, and I just wanted to do
a big shout out.
(34:54):
To you here that Karla, forthose of you listening, is the
amazing editor of the Break YourTrauma Cycle book, and it's
thanks to her that this got offthe ground and it was really
also good in that it worked tohelp you understand
Karla Warwick (35:15):
Oh, absolutely.
Dr Nat Green (35:16):
Trauma archetypes too, didn't it?
And how you can move.
From trauma and being not in agreat place and accelerate that
into post-traumatic growthbecause we're only talking six
months ago and here you are nowworking and moving towards
thriving again, aren't you?
Karla Warwick (35:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think you're right.
The book, the work that you dotaught me so much about myself
working on the book with you,saved me.
Because it made me realize thatI'm actually not totally bad at
what I do.
I don't completely suck.
I actually have some skills.
And it was also reconnectingwith things that give me passion
(35:57):
and joy.
And I had lost that in my work.
Being able to find that againwas the catalyst for me to then
just take that little step andthen that little step further
and be where I am now, which iswhere I know what my purpose is.
I know what my values are.
I have a manifesto.
I am clear on where I'm heading,but I also know that I still
(36:19):
have things that I need to do tocare for myself.
So that's that self-compassion.
I was away last week for workand it completely flawed me so I
have to remember that I'm notyet ready to be the person who's
gonna go and shove on the Capeand take over the world and save
everything.
Dr Nat Green (36:35):
Not today.
Not today.
Tomorrow, maybe
Karla Warwick (36:38):
I am human and that is beautiful.
And that means I need to stopand look after me as well.
Dr Nat Green (36:44):
Oh, I love that so much.
And I think there is so much wecan all learn from that.
As you said, it sounds a bitweird that the trauma taught you
so much and there was this gift,but it's what all our guests
report.
It's what I've noticed myselfthat as awful as it is, and we
(37:04):
don't wish trauma on anyone, butlife happens and things happen
and we are able to see giftswhen we look closely enough.
Yeah.
That it's given you the capacityto slow down.
Yeah.
Reconnect with yourself, improveyour relationships with other
(37:26):
people, and.
Get back to working in a waythat you are giving to other
people but not at your ownexpense.
Would that be right?
Karla Warwick (37:37):
That is absolutely right.
And I think I would also saytrust in that process.
Yes.
Because when you're in where Iwas, you don't see any positive
future ahead.
But I trusted you and I trustedthe support that I was tapping
into through work.
Trusted that my firm view isalways the universe gives you
(38:01):
what you need when you need it.
Yes, at the exact time that youneed it, it'll come.
And so I hung onto that view,even though I felt really
hopeless at times and helpless,I still trusted that.
And so I think trust the processand then know when you do all
that work you can bring yourwhole self to a situation and
(38:21):
that includes giving to yourselfso you get value out of what you
give.
But you don't lose yourself init.
Dr Nat Green (38:29):
And I know you know, most of the people that I
have as guests on the podcastand that huge group of listeners
are people that are renowned ashelpers.
Givers.
So what Karla has just told usand shared with us is so
(38:49):
important.
I'd love for you to share thatagain.
What is the key takeaway messagefor the helpers, the healers,
the helping professionals.
What did you just share?
Karla Warwick (39:00):
Don't lose yourself when you are giving.
Make sure that you give toyourself.
And know your value.
Know that what you are doing ismaking a difference to people's
lives and make sure that you'remaking a difference to your own
life as well.
Dr Nat Green (39:16):
Oh, gold.
Absolutely gold.
I absolutely love that.
That is priceless.
I think once we recognize that,and that is the gift that your
awful experiences.
Have taught you and enabled youto grow and become the best
version of yourself.
So could you maybe, do you thinkthere's anything else that you
(39:40):
would say is an attribute orsomething that you'd see as a
quality that is key for helpingpeople move from trauma into
post-traumatic growth?
Any other gems for us?
Karla Warwick (39:54):
Yeah.
That's a tricky question.
I'm not quite sure I no, I thinkit's find what works for you?
So I really loved your book andI loved exploring the strengths
of the different traumaarchetypes and then the areas
that an archetype can focus onto help them grow.
(40:14):
And that it, for me, it held upa mirror.
So it was good for me to starttaking the time to understand
myself better.
Okay.
And then following on from thisyear was also, working with a
coach and it was a differentapproach to the one that you
did, but it still worked for me.
So it's for the person goingthrough that experience.
And I think then for someonewho's providing that, is knowing
(40:36):
that there's no one size fitsall and you need to work with an
individual on, the things thatare interesting to them and that
sort of, the little nuggetthat's going to be the, make the
difference in their lives.
And you have the different toolsin your toolkit, but also accept
that sometimes the time has comefor them to move on because
you've done all you can for themand they can, someone else needs
(40:57):
to do it.
So I was able to pick up stufffrom you.
Stuff from the coach that Iworked with this year, her
name's Therese Toohey.
And again, between the work Idid with you and the work I've
done with her, my life has justchanged.
Dramatically.
And I think that just doing allthat and being open to doing the
(41:17):
work and open to.
Doing things that are a littlebit uncomfortable for you and
that challenges yourpersonality, so breaks your
behaviors and your habits.
And then does things likeforcing you to have a look at
things in a way that you havebeen trying really hard not to
look at for over 30 years.
Yeah.
But funnily enough, if you dothat and you follow that process
(41:39):
and you trust in it actually.
Is life changing.
It is quite remarkable.
And all of a sudden a situationwhere you feel helpless and
hopeless and everything is done,you are, that is it that your
whole career, your whole senseof who you are is over suddenly
becomes, actually, no.
I know who I am.
I know myself better than I haveever known myself before.
(42:03):
I and I know firmly what Ibring.
And, I know therefore where Iwant to be and who I wanna be
with, what my purpose in lifeis, how I wanna work, and how I
wanna see out the next 30 yearsof my career in such a way, or
maybe not 30, 30 retirement,maybe 15, but whatever it is
(42:28):
yeah, you just, that that's howyour life changes.
I think that, yeah, just beingable to really give yourself the
time and the space to connectwith who you really are and do
the work and yeah.
I, you won't regret it.
Dr Nat Green (42:44):
I love that.
Yeah.
Such wise, resilient sage advicethat one.
Fancy.
That
Karla Warwick (42:54):
fancy me being a sage.
Dr Nat Green (42:57):
Yes.
And again, working out what youneed and being willing to do the
work are key.
So I know that you've recentlygot some very exciting news
about some additional areas thatyou are paying things forward
(43:19):
with because of.
Some of the experiences you'vehad in your life.
So as we move to wrapping thisconversation up, tell us a
little bit about that and wherecan our listeners find out more
about you and find you online.
Karla Warwick (43:35):
So my purpose is to enrich lives, and that is not
through grand gestures, butthat's in everyday interactions.
So if I can make someone's dayand then they can make someone's
day, then we can affect changein a really powerful way.
And one of, so when I makedecisions about where I'm gonna
put my energy in, that's what Idecide.
(43:55):
Is this gonna enrich someone'slife?
And is that going to theninspire them to do that with
someone else?
Yeah.
So very recently, I became aregistered marriage, celebrate
because I do, even though thingsdidn't work out as I would've
liked the first time, I firmlybelieve in love and I firmly
believe in marriage.
So if I can help a couple have aceremony that reflects their
(44:23):
personalities and their journeysand make it a memorable day for
them, then for me, that justbrings the happiness to my life
that I hadn't been getting it inother parts professionally.
I am going to start looking atways that I can use my
experience with my children toto recognize what parents are
(44:47):
going through, to give them anopportunity to express how
they're feeling, and if I canthen affect change in a more
robust way through policy andeven just raising awareness then
I'm going to start doing that aswell.
So in terms of where people canfind me My celebrant business is
(45:07):
called Celebrant Karla, so it'scelebrantkarla.com.au and in
terms of whether people would beinterested in me speaking about
my experience and then drawinglearning from that, then just
look for me on LinkedIn.
Okay.
And I'll put all those links andinformation in the show notes.
(45:27):
Yes.
So thank you so much.
Now I, I do like to often finishwith a question, and I'd like to
ask you, Karla, what do youthink your younger self would
think of what you've achievedtoday?
(45:48):
I think she'd be surprised.
I don't think my younger selfhad any idea what life was like.
My younger self certainly didn'tbelieve that she was capable of
anything.
That whole feeling of I'm notworthy.
Dr Nat Green (46:07):
Yeah.
Karla Warwick (46:10):
And I think she would look at it now and she
would just be completely blownaway by what I've done, where I
am.
Yeah.
And feel hopeful because myyounger self felt not very loved
and not, not much needed in theworld, and I think she would
(46:32):
look at me now and go that'sturned out really well for you,
hasn't it?
I'm pretty proud of you.
Dr Nat Green (46:38):
And can I just say that I'm extremely proud of you
too?
Karla Warwick (46:41):
oh you are beautiful.
Thank you.
Dr Nat Green (46:43):
What you have achieved, particularly in this
last six months from where youwere only six months ago.
Yeah, is phenomenal and it justgives so much hope.
So thank you so much for sharingyour wisdom, your journey, and
everything with all ourlisteners today.
I am really grateful and it'sbeen an absolute pleasure
(47:05):
chatting with you today.
Thank you.
Karla Warwick (47:07):
Oh, thank you for having me on your show, my
beautiful friend.
I listen to you all the time.
Never thought I'd be here, buthopefully your listeners can
gain something from myexperience.
Oh, you've given a lot of wisdomand a lot of gold nuggets that
will help many people as theynavigate whatever journeys
they're on at the moment.
So thank you.
(47:28):
You have a great day.
Dr Nat Green (47:29):
You too.
Bye for now Thank you forjoining me in this episode of
Growing Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity
(47:52):
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and
(48:13):
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates.
Then I invite you to hitSubscribe and it would mean the
world to us if you could sharethis episode with others who you
feel may benefit too.
(48:34):
You may also find me onInstagram at Growing Tall
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons.
And to learn and increase yourability to live the life you
desire and deserve.
(48:55):
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for now.
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.
(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.
(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have
(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.
I am super excited and gratefultoday to bring you our next
(01:28):
guest on the Growing TallPoppies podcast.
It's my absolute pleasure andprivilege to welcome an amazing
lady who I have actually had theprivilege of knowing since we
were in year six at primaryschool.
That's a little while.
I know, and as we've gonethrough the years and life
(01:51):
we've.
Been'life-ing' together andseparately and things have gone
on.
She has certainly experiencedand overcome some huge amounts
of trauma and adversitythroughout her life and has
agreed to come and chat with ustoday about her personal and
professional experience.
So let me start by welcomingKarla Warwick
Karla Warwick (02:14):
Thank you.
Nat I'm really pleased to be onthe show.
I'm so excited.
Dr Nat Green (02:19):
So am I.
So Karla has a background inmarketing and communications and
has also recently become aCommonwealth registered marriage
celebrant.
So let's start with you givingus a brief introduction of who
you are and what you do in theworld these days.
Karla Warwick (02:37):
Gosh, yeah, that's been the big question
I've been asking myself over thelast.
Especially 12 months now.
So who I am, I guess I'm definedin different ways.
So yes, I've had a, marketingmedia and comms background.
I've been doing that for quite along time.
If I tell you how long that ageus, both won't it.
So I won't say too much, butit's been considerable time.
I'm the mother of three childrenand the stepmother of one.
(03:00):
And I am enjoying a stage of mylife where my children are grown
and are amazing adults.
And so I get to spend lots ofgreat time with my husband and
my dog living in what I considerto be the most amazing part of
one of the most amazing parts ofthe country, which is Brisbane.
Dr Nat Green (03:17):
We might beg to differ on the most amazing
parts.
I'm glad you clarified one of.
I know you've done a hugevariety of things throughout
your career, so I know that weare not just gonna look today at
career, but let's start with thesort of work you've done.
(03:39):
Throughout life.
Karla Warwick (03:40):
Yeah, sure.
So look I've been a journalist.
I've worked as a marketingmanager for a local, for a
council for TAFE Institute.
I've worked in a couple ofdifferent departments at the
Australian government level.
So I've worked for theDepartment of Defense what used
to be called Human Services.
And it's been a reallyprivileged role because, both as
(04:01):
a journalist and then in my.
job With the Australiangovernment.
I've worked with ministers andprime ministers.
I've organized, national events.
I have been at the forefront ofsome pretty important things for
the country's history and.
When you're in the middle ofsomething like that, you just,
you do what you need to dobecause that's your job.
But when then you look back yourealize just how absolutely
(04:23):
privileged you are.
I've been through, parts ofParliament House that not
everybody can see, and it's themost magnificent building.
And it's just been the mostincredible career.
Which was all accidental in away.
I've never been reallydeliberate about my career.
I've just taken opportunitiesthat they've come and I've
fallen into the most amazingexperiences.
Dr Nat Green (04:45):
Yeah.
You certainly had a wide varietyof experience and no doubt
you've learned lots and lots ofthings, both good and bad and
both challenging and not sochallenging along the way.
So I'm just wondering how, likeyou said, you are a Mum of three
(05:07):
beautiful children and Step Mumto one beautiful child.
They're all adults now.
They're not children.
And you identified as a wife, apartner, a Mum, and also in the
marketing communications side ofthings.
So how have you managed tojuggle all of those various
(05:29):
roles.
Karla Warwick (05:31):
Yeah, that's a really interesting question
because I look back now and Iwonder how I did it.
I have quite a few postgraduatequalifications.
I was working full-time withthree children while I was
completing those.
And my children have all hadvarying degrees of challenges in
their lives.
Different to what you wouldnormally expect raising
(05:51):
children.
So I've got a child who'sneurodivergent.
I've got we've dealt with awhole range of mental ill
health.
So there's been eatingdisorders, cutting suicide
ideation.
The most incredible challenges.
How did I do it?
I think it was good.
Fortune more than good design.
I think it was about stayingfocused on what had to happen at
(06:14):
that time.
And so you know whether, and itdoesn't matter what your
challenges are, if you've gotmultiple things happening, which
happens when you're a workingparent.
Let's face it.
You learn very quickly to focuson what's most important at that
time, to cut out as much noiseas you possibly can to your time
management improves greatly.
Your ability to prioritize issharpened and you learn.
(06:40):
You learn to not sweat the smallstuff, especially when your
children, as I, as mine, weresome of the things that other
parents might get really workedup about with their children.
I'd go, I don't really care.
Because you know what?
Today they haven't tried tosuicide.
Today they ate today, theydidn't cut themselves.
Today, they went to school.
And so if my child isn't thebest at sport or doesn't get the
(07:03):
top of the class.
Today my child is happy.
And to me that is the mostimportant thing.
So I think it's a whole range ofdifferent things, but it's about
perspective and aboutmaintaining focus on what you
think is most important, andthen digging really deep.
Because there have been somedays, especially when my son was
really unwell where I had to, atthe end of my day say, what are
(07:25):
the three things?
Today were great about today.
And depending on the day, it wasreally hard to dig, but if it
was, I got to eat a chocolateuninterrupted today, that was
one of my top three things.
Dr Nat Green (07:40):
And I do know that chocolate is one of your, I
think your top thing, to behonest, if I remember correctly.
Karla Warwick (07:47):
Yeah.
That hasn't changed.
Dr Nat Green (07:49):
But seriously, thank you so much for sharing
that so openly and honestlythat.
Navigating as a parent, a paththat thankfully a lot of parents
don't ever have to tread ishuge.
When you have one neurodivergentchild, when you have other
(08:14):
illnesses, mental healthconditions thrown into the mix
as well.
I can't even begin to imagine.
What that was like for them,obviously, but also for you.
So tell me a bit about some ofthat, if that's okay
Karla Warwick (08:29):
yeah, sure.
I am very open about thisbecause I feel like.
If people who are going throughthis can feel validated and gain
strength from my experiences,then I'm more than happy to
share them.
I'm not going to sugarcoat itwas really bloody hard and it
(08:49):
was one of the reasons my firstmarriage broke down.
I often joked that I think it'slike one in three families have
a child for who has a disabilityor a mental illness.
And so there are another coupleof families out there that
should be thanking us for takingon their responsibility.
And interestingly, I would liketo see what those statistics are
(09:11):
like now because I feel likethere's more known and
understood and it's spoken aboutmore.
So I actually think thosestatistics are probably much
greater and Covid hasn't helpedeither.
How did I get through it I Imaintained a focus on what was
most important.
So to me, my children are themost important thing ever, the
(09:31):
most important achievement thatI've ever made in life.
Regardless of what happensprofessionally, my children are
my biggest achievement.
And so maintaining that focus, Ithink being, willing to learn,
being open-minded about it,especially when you're talking
about mental ill health, becauseit's not a one size fits all.
Even a neurodivergent child.
It's not one size fits all.
Dr Nat Green (09:52):
No.
Karla Warwick (09:52):
And we're talking about a time when so my youngest
child is 25 this year, and hewas diagnosed with A DHD at six.
So there was not a lot knowneven then.
And so you were spending a lotof time being your child's
advocate.
So seeking to understand howthey were trying to put yourself
(10:14):
in the shoes of a young personwho did not feel like they
fitted in at all didn'tunderstand what was going on,
was scared and under threat, andacted out on that basis.
So you seeking to understandthat is why things are the way
they are for that individual.
And then taking an approach tobe as educated as you possibly
(10:34):
can.
And, but then going in and beingthe voice.
I was the mama bear.
We would joke quite often abouthow I would end up putting
people in therapy.
Which I would never do itdeliberately, but.
The approaches sometimes,particularly with my son the
approaches that people tookweren't going to work with him.
And, we had so much experiencewith people saying, he is gotta,
(10:54):
we've just gotta make him do it.
Or, let's look at exposuretherapy, like it's not gonna
work because we've tried it andhe shuts down and it makes it
worse for him.
He's so traumatized byeverything that has gone on
that.
None of these approaches aregoing to work for him anymore.
And then within the context, sowhilst that might be what he's
(11:15):
going through, we had, hissisters were experiencing their
own challenges and they werefeeding each other and they were
not in a positive way, but theywere reacting to what was also
going on in the family.
See, you just had to becompletely on top of it all the
time.
You had to be focused on theindividual and who was the
(11:36):
bigger priority at that point.
I can't say that I did it verywell.
And I know now based on what Ihave gone through, there was a
lot, there's a lot of traumathat was buried very deeply,
which I'm starting to work on,but at the time you don't, you
can't afford to afford doanything for yourself because
you need to focus on yourchildren.
(11:57):
Having said that, I didn't dothings super awesome.
I have learned in the lastlittle while to be a lot more
compassionate.
I was young.
I had my first child at I thinkI was 26, so that's very young.
There you don't get the book onhow to parent?
Dr Nat Green (12:13):
No,
Karla Warwick (12:13):
I didn't.
I didn't have any family closeby that could support me in
that.
I had, there were circumstanceswhere we didn't understand what
was going on with our children.
Others didn't understand theamount of times that I was
judged because my child was anaughty little boy.
Dr Nat Green (12:27):
Yes.
Karla Warwick (12:27):
And can't I parent them properly?
It's actually, hang on.
You come walk in my shoesbecause it's, these are not,
it's not just ADHD.
There were other things as well,and.
As an adult.
Further things have beendiagnosed, which I tried to get
when he was younger, butcouldn't get a diagnosis.
It's no wonder he was the way hewas.
And judging doesn't help, itdoesn't help the parent and it
certainly doesn't help the youngperson who's experiencing that.
Dr Nat Green (12:50):
I love that you articulated that, Karla, because
honestly, we see that so oftenand in my role when I was
working one-to-one with childrenand adolescents and families.
As a psychologist.
Oh my goodness.
So often we would hear the storyreflected back that, I was at
(13:14):
the shopping center and ofcourse, for a child who's
autistic or has ADHD, there wasso many triggers in a shopping
center, but you had no one elseto look after them.
You take them in and it's nowonder.
Their behavior is Yep.
Because they're trying tocommunicate what's going on and
the amount of judgment.
Karla Warwick (13:36):
Yep.
Dr Nat Green (13:38):
It's absolutely horrendous and I think, I take
my hat off to any parent whoadvocates beautifully for their
child because someone has to doit.
Karla Warwick (13:50):
That's right.
You need to be their voice.
Dr Nat Green (13:52):
we just don't Understand it the way that we
need to.
It's definitely improving, asyou said.
It's definitely getting betterthan what it was back then, but
we still have so much to learn.
So tell us what else you learnedin that journey that might help
people who are navigating thatright now.
Karla Warwick (14:10):
I think, as I said and I learned it late, be
kind to yourself.
And that is the one thing I wishI had done more of when I was
younger because you.don't knowyou don't know, No one knows.
It's just an unknown territory.
But yeah, definitely theadvocating, definitely seeking
to understand, not so that youcan have a label for your child,
(14:30):
but so that you can help themlive in a world that.
They might feel quite isn't,that is foreign to them.
So what are the skills andwhat's the opportunities that I
can make available to my childto help them function?
So my view was I always jokedparenting is strategic and it
(14:51):
absolutely is.
So you gonna have theseinteractions and children act
out at home because that's wherethey test where things are safe.
That's the safe environment forthem.
And then they take the skillsthat they learn in the home, out
into society.
And when you have children who,like my son could, can't cope.
There's, they get overwhelmedreally easily.
They find it difficult toexpress how they're feeling.
They're bullied because they'redifferent.
(15:13):
Then you've gotta help themdevelop the skills that they can
then become a functioning adultin society.
And you've gotta fight for thembecause, at the time that, that
this was happening, the NDISdidn't exist.
Yeah.
So a lot of this stuff was leftto either the public health
system, which was, has neverbeen well resourced.
And you would see someone for acouple of weeks and then they'd
(15:36):
leave and a new person wouldcome in and you have to keep
retelling the story, over andover again.
So the other thing I'd say isfor anybody who is in an area
where they're able to work withfamilies and children who are,
experiencing trauma as a resultof disability or mental ill
health.
Be very careful aboutretraumatizing people because
the amount of times my childrenhad to go back and talk again
about what's going on and howthey're feeling, and I had to go
(15:58):
on and do the same thing andpeople would not without any
history, would try and forcethese treatments on them when I
would say it's not gonna work.
And then they think I was theoverbearing, bossy mother who
didn't really care what wasgoing on with the child.
Actually, it isn't.
I know my child well, and youneed to trust that we know
(16:19):
what's worked and what hasn't,and start from where the client
or the patient, sorry, orwhatever the description is,
start from where they're yes andwhere the parent is not from
where you think things shouldbe.
Dr Nat Green (16:33):
Gold nugget right there and so many, and who
better to ask than the peoplewho've experienced it?
Yeah, we need to listen.
We need to listen more.
And yes, you are navigating thatpath and advocating for them to
the best of your ability.
And as you said, you didn't getit right every time.
(16:54):
You didn't, certainly didn't getit perfect.
There is no rule book,particularly when you have not
one, not two, but three.
Children with differentchallenges and varying degrees
of challenges.
And that takes an impact on you.
Karla Warwick (17:10):
Yeah.
Dr Nat Green (17:10):
On them.
Your relationship.
Karla Warwick (17:13):
Yeah.
Dr Nat Green (17:13):
And undoubtedly your work.
So how did you navigate therelationship side of things with
everyone in your life?
Karla Warwick (17:25):
Some relationships disappeared.
I'm very fortunate.
That even though it was one ofthe reasons that my first
marriage ended, that we both arestill quite close.
Good friends.
I'm, I'm very fond of my firsthusband.
(17:48):
I just don't wanna be married tohim anymore'cause I've got a
second husband.
And that's not legal inAustralia.
I think, and I think it'sbecause at that time too, we
remained focused on what's mostimportant and for us, For me, I
wanted my children to see thatjust because their mom and dad
didn't love each other anymoredidn't mean that we didn't care
for each other and respect eachother.
(18:08):
And I think that is especiallyimportant when you have children
who are already mentally unwell.
They don't need to see, theydon't need the angst and the
trauma that can sometimes happenwhen a marriage breaks down.
Dr Nat Green (18:22):
Absolutely.
Karla Warwick (18:24):
So I just remained focused on that.
And I think what I learned fromthat in a broader sense with
relationships is your firstreaction to somebody because of
their behavior needs to bechecked because you don't know
what's going on in their lives.
You don't know how they'refeeling mentally.
You don't know whether they'reneurodivergent.
So whilst you might respond orbehave in a certain way, that
(18:47):
is.
Different to the way thatthey're doing.
It doesn't mean one's right orwrong, but you need to make the
effort to seek to understand theindividual and their motivations
because that's how you buildreally good relationships.
And I've taken that into mywork.
Definitely.
I've managed people who've haddifficult circumstances with
their own children or they'rethey're not well, I've got a
couple of people in a team thatI work with now who are
(19:09):
neurodivergent.
So the experiences that I hadraising children, like the
children that I had has actuallymade me better at relationships,
I think generally.
And in the workplace.
And I feel like it has actuallymade me a better leader.
Dr Nat Green (19:25):
Excellent.
And I think you also touched awhile ago on compassion.
So no doubt by going throughwhat you experienced and walking
in those shoes and seeing.
Other people treading similarpaths, but understanding that
they will have their ownexperiences that compassion will
(19:45):
have come in.
Karla Warwick (19:47):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I may not have exactly beenwhere they are, but I've been a
lot of places with the thingsthat I have seen and been
through with my children.
I had to make a decision to putone in an adolescent mental
health facility for some time.
That's a really tough call tomake as a parent.
One of the decisions I regretnow because it actually, he came
out worse.
But you do what you think isright at the time, and so having
(20:10):
had all those experiences.
I think then I can demonstratethat compassion that you've
talked about when it comes tojust anybody with the challenges
that they're facing in their ownlives.
And I've also learned from myown experiences that if you can
just be compassionate towardssomebody in the workplace and
hold space for them when theyneed it, when they're not having
(20:32):
a great time, you can make sucha significant difference to
their lives, to their workinglives.
And to their lives in general.
And look, I don't think you cando too much of that in this
world.
Dr Nat Green (20:45):
No, I completely agree.
So you've touched a couple oftimes now on having been through
your own trauma experiences, sodid you want to share whatever
you feel comfortable sharingaround that as well?
Karla Warwick (21:00):
So I think I think the interesting thing is
that with trauma it can sneak upon you, bite you when you least
expect it, and that it can be aslow burn over a lifetime.
Dr Nat Green (21:09):
Yes, definitely.
Karla Warwick (21:09):
So whilst you know the experiences that I had
with my children.
Weren't great at the time.
They were not things that I hadthought had affected me too
badly until very recently.
And I had a workplace experiencelast year where I was clearly
burnt out and, the burnout camefor a number of different
(21:30):
reasons.
It was the pace that I'd workedpretty intensive.
Environment.
High demand.
High tempo.
And I had been doing it forquite a long time.
Dr Nat Green (21:40):
Yes.
Karla Warwick (21:40):
And we'd undergone significant changes
over a number of years.
And I also had started having aterrible time with
perimenopause.
Which is more than hot flushesand.
And temper swings, mood swingscertainly
Dr Nat Green (21:54):
Isn't it?
Karla Warwick (21:54):
It wasn't, and you name it, and I had it.
So I had, fogy, brain joint painitchiness there was just a whole
swag of things, so I was reallystruggling'cause I didn't I felt
like an alien.
It was the things that weregoing on was like, this is not
me, what is going on here?
And it was really quitedifficult.
So trying to manage that, getthat under control in this very
demanding work environment.
(22:14):
Then.
November, 2023, I had a totalhip replacement, so that's major
surgery.
Coming out of that surgerywasn't good.
There were a couple of momentswhere they pressed the alarm and
everybody came in.
So it was not the bestexperience and you literally
have to learn to walk again.
Yeah.
I had been in a situation whereI was, I had, I've run half
(22:38):
marathons.
I was very active at the gym.
I certain suddenly couldn't dothat anymore and I had to learn
to walk again.
So all those things was aperfect storm.
I was not in the right headspace.
And then the interaction at thetime with my supervisor was not
appropriate for the situationthat I was in.
And I basically went off workfor six months.
And got to the point where Icouldn't get off the lounge.
(23:01):
I had I just couldn't, I wasmentally and physically totally
stuffed, could not function.
Couldn't get off the lounge.
If I had to leave the house, Iwould have panic attacks, so I'd
have to come back very quickly.
I could do a little bit ofsomething around the house and
then I was exhausted and I hadto go back and sit on the lounge
again and have a sleep.
(23:22):
And physically and mentallygone, that was it.
And I have never ever been inthat point in my life.
Even when things were difficultwith my children, I could still
function and I could notfunction at all last year.
Dr Nat Green (23:33):
So when you look at that, so obviously as you
beautifully articulated thatperfect storm, so you'd carried
this load.
The kids, you managed to getthrough that you kept working,
you really continued to achieveamazing things in your career.
(23:53):
And your children are beautiful,well adjusted adults, and you've
managed to succeed and got themthrough or helped get them
through with community thatyou've been attached to.
So then you get to this pointwhere.
Perimenopause is there, plusyou've always been highly into
(24:16):
exercise.
Must have been that lack ofexercising as a child that just,
Karla Warwick (24:21):
I saved everything up for being an adult
when I could get a medal forcrossing the finishing line.
Dr Nat Green (24:28):
Exactly but looking at it as this perfect
storm where everything cametogether, when you look back now
six months ago.
And you described it perfectlywhere you were absolutely
exhausted and your, the way Iwould describe it is your
(24:50):
nervous system was fried.
Karla Warwick (24:52):
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
Dr Nat Green (24:55):
So what did you think was going on at the time?
Karla Warwick (25:00):
Oh, I had absolutely no idea.
I was in a total shock.
Because I'd never experienced itbefore, I'd always been able to
pick myself up and push aheadand, push past and bury the
feelings and just keep going.
Just keep going A little bitlike Dory, just keep swimming.
Yeah.
So I was flawed totally becauseI am look, I'm a high D
(25:21):
personality.
I focus on achievement,momentum, and outcomes.
I.
have Always prided myself onbeing resilient.
And I have always been able toget myself out of issues.
There's been situations where I,so I took a voluntary redundancy
at one point to care for my son.
It was an absolute nightmarewhere I ended up I was on carer
(25:43):
payment for a little while, sofinancially, not in the best
situation.
Got a job, got made redundant.
I had no idea where the next.
Paycheck was coming from, but Igot myself outta that situation.
But last year I sat there and Iwas like, I have no idea how I'm
gonna get outta this.
I act.
I felt like my career was over.
The way that I had received thefeedback, I thought, I, look, I
(26:08):
must just be.
Totally.
I'm useless.
I completely, and I'm gonnaswear I completely suck at what
I do.
I cannot I have nothing more togive.
I felt I was never suicidal.
But I felt like if I wasn't hereanymore.
No one would miss me because Idon't bring any value here.
(26:28):
There is no place for me in thisworld.
Wow.
And that's how bad it felt.
Yeah.
When you feel like that, youjust feel stuck.
You, yeah.
You just feel this is it.
This is my life.
This is, I just have to sit herenow and wait for nature to take
its course.
It was horrible.
It was the worst feeling.
I've.
ever had
Dr Nat Green (26:49):
Yeah, so I think, thank you firstly for sharing
that.
For opening up so vulnerably,because I know as a high
achieving professional.
It's the complete opposite towhat you've always aligned with
the whole identity.
That you had all thesechallenges raising kids, yet you
(27:10):
persevered and you came throughit and got them through it.
You've had a marriage breakdown,you got through it, and you
moved forward, and suddenlyyou're on a lounge.
Unable to do anything.
And I know we chatted a coupleof those days and you barely
could even speak.
Karla Warwick (27:27):
Yeah,
Dr Nat Green (27:28):
some days.
Yeah.
So when you look now, what doyou think were some of the key
components to moving out ofthat?
Or was there a powerful momentor milestone?
That stands out for you as tohow to, how you got yourself out
(27:50):
of that.
Karla Warwick (27:50):
Got out of it.
I think it was I guess it sound,it sounded terrible and it was
the worst and I would never wishit on anybody, but I'm really
grateful that I had thatexperience because I think
that's the magic happens then.
Yes, the magic happens when youare.
Feeling totally destroyed andyou have to rebuild.
So it taught me to stop.
(28:11):
And all the things that I hadbeen ignoring all these years I
had to pay attention to, and Ihad to go back to basics, and
that was listening to my bodyand my brain because they were
fried.
They were working in sync andstuff that I had intellectually
understood because I've lovedthis stuff for so long I had
(28:32):
not.
Internalized or built it intothe way that I, into my being.
So I had to go back to basics.
So that was a really pivotalmoment for me because I was
forced to face things the waythey were for me at that point,
and to meet myself where I wasand accept it.
Dr Nat Green (28:55):
Interesting.
So the advice that you giveabout professionals when they're
working with someone, meetingthe parent and the child where
they are, was something that youhad to take on board for
yourself and yeah.
Another thing that I just pickedup when you were talking then
and I'll describe it and see ifit feels like it makes sense for
(29:17):
you in the work that I do, isaround our three brains.
So there's the head brain, whichis the cognitive stuff, and.
Where we make sense of things.
There's the heart brain, whichis the emotions and where we
feel, and there's the gut brain,which is our inner knowing and
our intuition.
So when someone goes throughtrauma or adversity, what tends
(29:43):
to happen those three brains, atleast one, often two of those
three brains will shut down.
Just so that you can survive andthey're disconnected.
So we lose the capacity to feelbecause we wanna protect
ourselves.
It's too painful to feel.
And you said you just quashedthose feelings all those years
(30:07):
and it was too painful.
And too hard because for fearof.
Falling apart.
Yep.
And not being able to do it.
So as I say that, does that feelwhat was going on?
That they were disconnected?
Karla Warwick (30:22):
Yeah, absolutely.
And again, now that I've startedto do the work, I realized how
bad I'd gotten.
But, and it was definitely,definitely head and heart.
Gut as well.
I always, I pride myself on myinstinct and I'm usually always
right.
But some of my judgment hadgotten really skew if, and I
(30:43):
think it's just because thesethings had all been, I hadn't
taken care of myself and theywere not in sync anymore.
You just had to, you had to justlet yourself be there and give
it all time to reset.
So you know, the check-ins withyou, you made such a difference.
in my life at that time it was,oh, I'm so grateful for you.
(31:04):
And, my husband Simon just letme be, he could see what was
going on and he just, ma again,just made space for me to do
what I needed to do.
Dr Nat Green (31:12):
And that's important, isn't it?
Absolutely.
Giving you space and grace,giving yourself permission, but
that for him.
Yeah.
To know that is what you neededand validate that, but allow you
to do that when you wouldn'tallow yourself to do it.
Karla Warwick (31:29):
Yeah.
And in a beautiful way.
He would never say, what youshould be doing is this ever.
He would never do that.
He would just, wherever I was,he'd be there and he'd be my
support.
And if I was a bit grumpy, hewouldn't push me harder.
He would.
Give me time and accept myapology when I finally offered
it up.
And yeah, I think it is justabout, you just learn so much of
(31:53):
yourself and so starting to payattention to that.
So it was things like the TREexercises that you and I did.
It was.
The meditation that I was doingwhere instead of go, being busy
all the time, I actually wentno.
You gotta listen to thesefeelings.
You gotta pay attention to thesethoughts.
You've gotta start letting thatheart open up a little bit and
let those feelings out.
And they, that was really, itwas tricky because, I'm starting
(32:19):
to do that a little bit more,but it actually literally hurts
my heart to do that.
Yes, definitely.
I get this.
Isn't that incredible?
Like it's, and I'm not having aheart attack or anything like
that, but it's just when youturn and face those feelings and
you start saying, you know what?
That was really hard for you.
Yes, you did an amazing job.
Or go back even further to, an8-year-old kid bullied
(32:42):
chronically by people who weremeant to be my friends.
That would've been just so hardfor you at eight.
That was a really unkind thingpeople did to you then.
That's so cruel.
You deserve much better thanthat.
Dr Nat Green (32:53):
Yes.
Karla Warwick (32:54):
And when you start saying that to yourself,
my heart literally hurts.
Because I had buried it so deepfor so long.
Even now it's hurting a littlebit, but it's much better than
it was.
Yeah, it's just giving yourselfthe time and the grace, as you
said, to do the work.
And I think the other thingthat's really important, you did
a beautiful job managing me hereor saying is it the right time
(33:16):
for that?
Because you know the High'D' inme or the the
Dr Nat Green (33:20):
perfectionist, oh, did I say that?
Karla Warwick (33:22):
I am a perfectionist and I know it, and
I'm working on that.
The trauma archetype that I am,which it's, this is the brain,
it's escaped me.
Who, which is about that.
Have to move all the time andget that momentum you don't,
because you would say, is thatthe right time for this?
And I'd go, yeah, you'reprobably right.
I need to pause a bit more andnot rush.
(33:43):
Not rush my healing and not rushto get back feeling like I'm
ready to, get back into theworkforce and save the world
because I wasn't ready.
Dr Nat Green (33:52):
When you look back now, had you done that, where
would you be now?
Had you pushed yourself back onthe lounge yeah.
Like you'd done all your life.
Yeah.
Because that's, and let's behonest, that's what we were
shown.
That's what we were told.
That's what we thought we had todo.
(34:12):
Yeah.
Growing up, people just pushedthrough things and kept going.
Yeah.
And it's only now with thingsthat have been learned and the
understanding of our nervoussystems and somatic work that we
can go, hang on.
mmmm we owe it to ourselves, ourfamilies, the people that we
(34:32):
love and that love us back, thatwe need to really do the work on
ourselves.
Yep.
To move forward.
Yeah.
I take my hat off to you becauseyou did the work.
It's okay.
You needed a little bit ofadjustment along the way.
But don't we all, none of us areperfect, and I just wanted to do
a big shout out.
(34:54):
To you here that Karla, forthose of you listening, is the
amazing editor of the Break YourTrauma Cycle book, and it's
thanks to her that this got offthe ground and it was really
also good in that it worked tohelp you understand
Karla Warwick (35:15):
Oh, absolutely.
Dr Nat Green (35:16):
Trauma archetypes too, didn't it?
And how you can move.
From trauma and being not in agreat place and accelerate that
into post-traumatic growthbecause we're only talking six
months ago and here you are nowworking and moving towards
thriving again, aren't you?
Karla Warwick (35:36):
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think you're right.
The book, the work that you dotaught me so much about myself
working on the book with you,saved me.
Because it made me realize thatI'm actually not totally bad at
what I do.
I don't completely suck.
I actually have some skills.
And it was also reconnectingwith things that give me passion
(35:57):
and joy.
And I had lost that in my work.
Being able to find that againwas the catalyst for me to then
just take that little step andthen that little step further
and be where I am now, which iswhere I know what my purpose is.
I know what my values are.
I have a manifesto.
I am clear on where I'm heading,but I also know that I still
(36:19):
have things that I need to do tocare for myself.
So that's that self-compassion.
I was away last week for workand it completely flawed me so I
have to remember that I'm notyet ready to be the person who's
gonna go and shove on the Capeand take over the world and save
everything.
Dr Nat Green (36:35):
Not today.
Not today.
Tomorrow, maybe
Karla Warwick (36:38):
I am human and that is beautiful.
And that means I need to stopand look after me as well.
Dr Nat Green (36:44):
Oh, I love that so much.
And I think there is so much wecan all learn from that.
As you said, it sounds a bitweird that the trauma taught you
so much and there was this gift,but it's what all our guests
report.
It's what I've noticed myselfthat as awful as it is, and we
(37:04):
don't wish trauma on anyone, butlife happens and things happen
and we are able to see giftswhen we look closely enough.
Yeah.
That it's given you the capacityto slow down.
Yeah.
Reconnect with yourself, improveyour relationships with other
(37:26):
people, and.
Get back to working in a waythat you are giving to other
people but not at your ownexpense.
Would that be right?
Karla Warwick (37:37):
That is absolutely right.
And I think I would also saytrust in that process.
Yes.
Because when you're in where Iwas, you don't see any positive
future ahead.
But I trusted you and I trustedthe support that I was tapping
into through work.
Trusted that my firm view isalways the universe gives you
(38:01):
what you need when you need it.
Yes, at the exact time that youneed it, it'll come.
And so I hung onto that view,even though I felt really
hopeless at times and helpless,I still trusted that.
And so I think trust the processand then know when you do all
that work you can bring yourwhole self to a situation and
(38:21):
that includes giving to yourselfso you get value out of what you
give.
But you don't lose yourself init.
Dr Nat Green (38:29):
And I know you know, most of the people that I
have as guests on the podcastand that huge group of listeners
are people that are renowned ashelpers.
Givers.
So what Karla has just told usand shared with us is so
(38:49):
important.
I'd love for you to share thatagain.
What is the key takeaway messagefor the helpers, the healers,
the helping professionals.
What did you just share?
Karla Warwick (39:00):
Don't lose yourself when you are giving.
Make sure that you give toyourself.
And know your value.
Know that what you are doing ismaking a difference to people's
lives and make sure that you'remaking a difference to your own
life as well.
Dr Nat Green (39:16):
Oh, gold.
Absolutely gold.
I absolutely love that.
That is priceless.
I think once we recognize that,and that is the gift that your
awful experiences.
Have taught you and enabled youto grow and become the best
version of yourself.
So could you maybe, do you thinkthere's anything else that you
(39:40):
would say is an attribute orsomething that you'd see as a
quality that is key for helpingpeople move from trauma into
post-traumatic growth?
Any other gems for us?
Karla Warwick (39:54):
Yeah.
That's a tricky question.
I'm not quite sure I no, I thinkit's find what works for you?
So I really loved your book andI loved exploring the strengths
of the different traumaarchetypes and then the areas
that an archetype can focus onto help them grow.
(40:14):
And that it, for me, it held upa mirror.
So it was good for me to starttaking the time to understand
myself better.
Okay.
And then following on from thisyear was also, working with a
coach and it was a differentapproach to the one that you
did, but it still worked for me.
So it's for the person goingthrough that experience.
And I think then for someonewho's providing that, is knowing
(40:36):
that there's no one size fitsall and you need to work with an
individual on, the things thatare interesting to them and that
sort of, the little nuggetthat's going to be the, make the
difference in their lives.
And you have the different toolsin your toolkit, but also accept
that sometimes the time has comefor them to move on because
you've done all you can for themand they can, someone else needs
(40:57):
to do it.
So I was able to pick up stufffrom you.
Stuff from the coach that Iworked with this year, her
name's Therese Toohey.
And again, between the work Idid with you and the work I've
done with her, my life has justchanged.
Dramatically.
And I think that just doing allthat and being open to doing the
(41:17):
work and open to.
Doing things that are a littlebit uncomfortable for you and
that challenges yourpersonality, so breaks your
behaviors and your habits.
And then does things likeforcing you to have a look at
things in a way that you havebeen trying really hard not to
look at for over 30 years.
Yeah.
But funnily enough, if you dothat and you follow that process
(41:39):
and you trust in it actually.
Is life changing.
It is quite remarkable.
And all of a sudden a situationwhere you feel helpless and
hopeless and everything is done,you are, that is it that your
whole career, your whole senseof who you are is over suddenly
becomes, actually, no.
I know who I am.
I know myself better than I haveever known myself before.
(42:03):
I and I know firmly what Ibring.
And, I know therefore where Iwant to be and who I wanna be
with, what my purpose in lifeis, how I wanna work, and how I
wanna see out the next 30 yearsof my career in such a way, or
maybe not 30, 30 retirement,maybe 15, but whatever it is
(42:28):
yeah, you just, that that's howyour life changes.
I think that, yeah, just beingable to really give yourself the
time and the space to connectwith who you really are and do
the work and yeah.
I, you won't regret it.
Dr Nat Green (42:44):
I love that.
Yeah.
Such wise, resilient sage advicethat one.
Fancy.
That
Karla Warwick (42:54):
fancy me being a sage.
Dr Nat Green (42:57):
Yes.
And again, working out what youneed and being willing to do the
work are key.
So I know that you've recentlygot some very exciting news
about some additional areas thatyou are paying things forward
(43:19):
with because of.
Some of the experiences you'vehad in your life.
So as we move to wrapping thisconversation up, tell us a
little bit about that and wherecan our listeners find out more
about you and find you online.
Karla Warwick (43:35):
So my purpose is to enrich lives, and that is not
through grand gestures, butthat's in everyday interactions.
So if I can make someone's dayand then they can make someone's
day, then we can affect changein a really powerful way.
And one of, so when I makedecisions about where I'm gonna
put my energy in, that's what Idecide.
(43:55):
Is this gonna enrich someone'slife?
And is that going to theninspire them to do that with
someone else?
Yeah.
So very recently, I became aregistered marriage, celebrate
because I do, even though thingsdidn't work out as I would've
liked the first time, I firmlybelieve in love and I firmly
believe in marriage.
So if I can help a couple have aceremony that reflects their
(44:23):
personalities and their journeysand make it a memorable day for
them, then for me, that justbrings the happiness to my life
that I hadn't been getting it inother parts professionally.
I am going to start looking atways that I can use my
experience with my children toto recognize what parents are
(44:47):
going through, to give them anopportunity to express how
they're feeling, and if I canthen affect change in a more
robust way through policy andeven just raising awareness then
I'm going to start doing that aswell.
So in terms of where people canfind me My celebrant business is
(45:07):
called Celebrant Karla, so it'scelebrantkarla.com.au and in
terms of whether people would beinterested in me speaking about
my experience and then drawinglearning from that, then just
look for me on LinkedIn.
Okay.
And I'll put all those links andinformation in the show notes.
(45:27):
Yes.
So thank you so much.
Now I, I do like to often finishwith a question, and I'd like to
ask you, Karla, what do youthink your younger self would
think of what you've achievedtoday?
(45:48):
I think she'd be surprised.
I don't think my younger selfhad any idea what life was like.
My younger self certainly didn'tbelieve that she was capable of
anything.
That whole feeling of I'm notworthy.
Dr Nat Green (46:07):
Yeah.
Karla Warwick (46:10):
And I think she would look at it now and she
would just be completely blownaway by what I've done, where I
am.
Yeah.
And feel hopeful because myyounger self felt not very loved
and not, not much needed in theworld, and I think she would
(46:32):
look at me now and go that'sturned out really well for you,
hasn't it?
I'm pretty proud of you.
Dr Nat Green (46:38):
And can I just say that I'm extremely proud of you
too?
Karla Warwick (46:41):
oh you are beautiful.
Thank you.
Dr Nat Green (46:43):
What you have achieved, particularly in this
last six months from where youwere only six months ago.
Yeah, is phenomenal and it justgives so much hope.
So thank you so much for sharingyour wisdom, your journey, and
everything with all ourlisteners today.
I am really grateful and it'sbeen an absolute pleasure
(47:05):
chatting with you today.
Thank you.
Karla Warwick (47:07):
Oh, thank you for having me on your show, my
beautiful friend.
I listen to you all the time.
Never thought I'd be here, buthopefully your listeners can
gain something from myexperience.
Oh, you've given a lot of wisdomand a lot of gold nuggets that
will help many people as theynavigate whatever journeys
they're on at the moment.
So thank you.
(47:28):
You have a great day.
Dr Nat Green (47:29):
You too.
Bye for now Thank you forjoining me in this episode of
Growing Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity
(47:52):
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and
(48:13):
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates.
Then I invite you to hitSubscribe and it would mean the
world to us if you could sharethis episode with others who you
feel may benefit too.
(48:34):
You may also find me onInstagram at Growing Tall
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons.
And to learn and increase yourability to live the life you
desire and deserve.
(48:55):
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for now.
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