September 22, 2025 • 24 mins
Following on from Dementia Action Week - In this deeply personal episode of Growing Tall Poppies, Dr. Nat Green opens up about her family’s raw and emotional journey through dementia and aged care. With both her Dad and StepMum living with Alzheimer’s and dementia, Nat shares the heartbreaking reality of navigating decline, hospital stays, and the difficult transition into aged care.
She speaks honestly about the guilt of being away, the grief of losing a parent while they’re still here, and the overwhelming responsibility that comes with caring for aging parents. Through her story, Nat offers comfort and compassion for families who may be facing the same challenges.
This episode is a reminder that while dementia can take away independence, memory, and clarity—it can’t erase love. And even in the middle of heartbreak, there are lessons of resilience, connection, and post-traumatic growth.
💜 If you’ve ever felt torn between caring for loved ones and living your own life, this episode will help you feel seen, understood, and less alone.
If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen
Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Dr Nat Green (00:01):
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.
(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.
(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have
(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.
Hello, beautiful people.
Welcome back to Growing TallPoppies.
(01:30):
I'm Dr.
Nat Green, and today I wanted toshare something really close to
my heart with you all this weekas I'm recording this, it's
Dementia Action and AwarenessWeek.
And I felt really strongly thatI wanted to dedicate this
episode to something much morepersonal than usual.
(01:56):
I wanna take you behind thescenes of what's been happening
in our own family, because thetruth is dementia is not just
something that happens out thereto other people.
It's something that many of uswill face in our families,
(02:20):
particularly with an agingpopulation.
We are getting greater numbersof people diagnosed with
dementia as we live to be older,and the reality is it's messy.
It's heartbreaking and full ofemotions that.
(02:41):
Pretty much aren't often talkedabout.
So today I wanted to share alittle of my dad's journey, what
it's been like for us as afamily and how I've been
navigating the guilt, the grief,and the reality of transitioning
(03:03):
a parent into aged care.
All of that on top of, as youknow, the recent trip to Europe
with all the challenges thatposed and then coming home and
being absolutely bedridden for10 days with illness.
(03:23):
So yeah, definitely achallenging time.
And I thought I'd just sharewith you what the reality is, so
you know that.
Life isn't always this perfectpicture that a lot of people
paint.
As you know, one of my greatestvalues is of integrity and being
(03:48):
authentic.
So here you are, hear me openingup warts and all to what's been
going on in that reality and.
Whilst I've been navigating thatguilt, the grief, and the
reality that now faces us, myhope is that if you are going
(04:09):
through something similar, thatyou'll feel less alone and maybe
find just a little bit ofcomfort in knowing that all
those messy feelings that youare having are totally normal,
warranted, and it's reallyimportant to acknowledge them
and allow ourselves to feelthem.
(04:30):
Because sometimes life sucks.
So let me start with a bit ofbackground.
My own mum died of breast cancerwhen she was aged 51 after a
long grueling seven year battle.
(04:51):
And at the time my dad steppedup.
Like I never, never dreamt.
He would do or even could do.
Never thought it was possible,but he was fantastic.
He took care of my Mum,supported her, and went above
and beyond and this wassomething that I will always
(05:15):
remember and I'm grateful forand will acknowledge him for.
Dad remarried 23 years ago.
To the most amazing lady who weall love deeply and honestly, we
truly have been blessed to havethe two most wonderful souls as
(05:36):
mother figures.
I honestly count my blessingsevery single day, and
unfortunately, my stepmom wasdiagnosed with Alzheimer's a few
years ago.
It rocked our world and youknow, each.
Day, or not even day, but week,a month, we've lost a little bit
(05:59):
more of her, but she's stillamazing and we love her dearly.
And whilst my dad can beextremely frustrating at times,
like most of our parents can, tomy dad's credit yet again, he
stepped up and he took on thecarer role and has provided both
(06:20):
physical and emotional support.
And they've mutually supportedeach other and they love each
other dearly.
And for that, I'm so grateful.
However, to add another littlechallenge in the mix, my dad was
also diagnosed with bothAlzheimer's and vascular
(06:41):
dementia not too long ago, backin May, it's been.
A really tough road, to behonest.
And like many families, itwasn't something that happened
overnight.
It was little things at first,moments of forgetfulness, some
disorientation and confusion andchanges in how he managed
(07:08):
things.
Some challenges in processing,and then there's been periods of
denial and attempts.
From him, but from both of themto hide the reality so that they
could stay safe, independent,and at home, you know?
So what has made it even morecomplex, of course, for us, is
(07:31):
that Dad was also the primarycarer for my stepmom, and we
then started to notice a declinein her care and functioning.
So here was this man who'd beenstrong, supportive.
Carrying the responsibility oflooking after his partner and
suddenly his own health wasslipping away and he didn't
(07:55):
wanna acknowledge that.
And we worked hard to get someadditional supports in place.
But as we all know, the agedcare system here, leaves a lot
to be desired and there are farmore people needing care.
than there are availablepackages, especially when you
(08:17):
live in regional areas and oneswhere there is an aging
population make it even thatlittle bit more challenging and
their level one and two agedcare packages certainly weren't
cutting it.
And they were of course adamantthat they could still manage on
(08:37):
their own.
So it's been a fairly drawn outchallenge with many sidesteps
and a little dance along theway, and a lot of challenging
conversations.
And as you know, I went overseasfor this family trip of a
lifetime that we'd been planningfor a very long time.
(08:59):
And when I went overseasrecently, things seemed fairly
stable.
We had a basic plan in place foreyes to be on them both to
ensure adequate care needs andsupport, and we thought we had
more time, but clearly wedidn't.
(09:22):
While I was away, everythingchanged so quickly.
His decline has been prettyrapid.
The messages I was getting fromhome was that he was okay.
And then a few days before wearrived home, there appeared to
be a really steep decline withsome potential falls, but with
very unreliable reports.
(09:44):
So it was really hard toascertain, and this is tough.
I can't describe the sinkingfeeling of returning home.
And seeing a person that youlove, having experienced such a
sudden decline within seven daysat most, with no clear
understanding of why.
(10:07):
And the truth is you can'talways be there.
You have to do things yourselfand live your own life too.
I'm very mindful of that andaware of that, and as a carer
and support, of course, you needand are entitled to a break.
But life pulls us in so manydirections and sometimes decline
(10:30):
doesn't wait for the calendar toline up neatly.
Well, all the times, life isn'tlinear and we can't control
everything.
So then has come the guilt andthe emotions.
(10:51):
With all of this has come thishuge wave of guilt.
In the initial stages, therewasn't guilt.
I was able to rationalize that Iwas entitled to some time away
and that self-care is important,and so on and so on.
All those internalconversations.
(11:12):
But as Dad's been in hospitalfor an extended period.
Those doubts and guilty momentshave crept in the guilt of not
being there in those exactmoments.
The guilt of choosing to go on atrip to live my life while
knowing that things at homeweren't easy, the guilt of not
(11:33):
being able to split myself intwo, one half in Europe with
that one also battling healthissues and challenging
situations over there.
And the other at home doingregular check-ins on them both
rather than having to rely onothers to do those.
And I think this is somethingthat so many families just don't
(11:55):
talk about.
We assume we should somehowmanage it all perfectly, that we
should be the ever presentdaughter or son, while also
balancing our own work, our ownfamilies, our own lives.
That's crap.
'cause the reality is it'simpossible.
(12:18):
And yet, even knowing that theguilt lingers for me, it's been
this constant innerconversation.
Am I doing enough?
Am I letting him down?
Am I letting my family down asthey need my focus too?
And alongside the guilt is thisdeep grief.
(12:39):
Watching someone you love loseparts of themselves, lose their
independence, their mobility,and lose clarity.
It's like you're grieving themeven more while they're still
here.
It's an incredibly heavy kind ofloss because you never quite
know which version of themyou'll get each day.
(13:02):
In fact, from one hour to thenext in each day.
And then there's the reality ofmaking decisions around aged
care.
Oh my goodness, that is so notfun.
And I would not recommend that.
Well actually put it this way.
I would not recommend avoidinghaving done that prior to
(13:24):
getting to this situation.
And there's been a lot oflearnings around that for me.
Ones that I already knew, butnow that are hitting home even
more.
I don't think anyone reallyprepares you for how complicated
and emotional this is.
It's not just about finding theright place or signing the
(13:47):
mounds, the endless mounds ofpaperwork.
It's about accepting that yourparent, or in this case, parent
and stepparent, who once tookcare of you, now needs that same
care or even more themselves.
It's that shift in roles.
(14:08):
Suddenly you are the one makingdecisions, signing forms,
talking to doctors, having to doyet again, major advocacy in
systems that just don't havethat level of personal care that
you'd give.
And asking the questions aboutmedication safety, requesting
(14:31):
respect.
Insisting on dignity becausesometimes some caregivers have
forgotten how to do that and arevoid of empathy, and that's been
really challenging.
And at the same time, your heartis screaming, this isn't how
(14:53):
it's supposed to be.
It's also incrediblyconfronting.
Walking into aged carefacilities, meeting with staff,
facing the reality of what lifewill look like for your parent
or parents from now on, itbrings up so much grief and fear
(15:16):
and that dance of, will this beright?
Is this the best option?
How will I know?
Is how they present to us,really, how it is in there.
So many thoughts, so many fears.
And then there's the family sideof it.
Siblings, partners, stepsiblings in this case, and
(15:38):
potentially tricky relationshipswith everyone processing things
differently, everyone wantingwhat's best, but sometimes
having different opinions onwhat best actually looks like.
That can create tension at thevery moment that you're all
already stretched thinemotionally.
(16:06):
And in the middle of all ofthis, I've been asking myself,
what is this teaching me?
What can I take from thisincredibly hard season?
One of the big lessons has beenaround letting go of control.
(16:28):
I can't control the pace ofdad's decline.
I can't control every decisionor every outcome, and that's
hard for me and some of my otherfamily members.
You know, most of us like tohave a plan to feel like we're
(16:48):
doing everything right, butdementia doesn't follow a plan.
Another lesson has been theimportance of allowing myself to
feel the sadness, the intensesadness, the guilt, the anger,
the helplessness.
They're all part of the process,and there really wasn't a huge
(17:10):
amount of time.
Pretending our emotions don'texist only makes it a much
heavier load to carry.
And perhaps the biggest lessonis the reminder that you can't
do this alone.
Whether it's leaning onsiblings, friends, or
(17:30):
professional support, navigatingdementia is way too big a weight
for one person to carry bythemselves.
It's essential that we get someform of support as it really is
a long and challenging road.
So I really urge you to reachout and ask for help.
(17:54):
It's not a sign of weakness.
In fact, it's a sign ofstrength.
It's not something you can doalone.
And for those of you listeningwho are going through this right
now.
I want you to know this.
It's okay if you feel likeyou're not doing enough.
It's okay if you feel torn in amillion directions.
(18:17):
It's okay if you feel likeyou're failing.
Some days you are not.
You are human.
And in those quiet moments withmy dad and my stepmom, even as
things change, there are still.
Huge flashes of love, ofconnection, of shared history
(18:39):
and great stories.
Dementia can take away so much,but it can't erase the love.
Now, before we close today, I'dlove to leave you with a few
reflection questions.
These are designed to help youpause, to breathe, and to
(19:00):
connect with your own journey.
Especially if you are walkingthrough something that feels
really heavy right now, whetherit's navigating care of a parent
who's transitioning into thatend stage of life or aged care,
or if you are navigating yourown or a family member's trauma,
(19:27):
this is all relevant.
You might wanna jot these downin a journal or simply take a
quiet moment to think aboutthem.
Where am I carrying guilt rightnow?
And what would it feel like tosoften that guilt with
self-compassion?
(19:50):
Number two, what part of thisseason is teaching me something
new about myself?
About my strength, myresilience, or even my ability
to love more deeply.
Number three, in the middle ofgrief or loss, what are the
(20:11):
small moments of connection orgrace that I can still hold
onto?
And number four, how might thisdifficult experience shape me
for the better in the long run?
Even if I can't see it fullyyet, what seeds of growth might
(20:33):
be planted here?
And number five, what support doI need and who can I allow into
my circle right now instead ofcarrying this alone?
These kind of reflections are atthe heart of post-traumatic
(20:53):
growth.
Finding meaning, purpose,strength, and even
transformation.
Not by denying the pain, but byacknowledging it and letting it
teach us something new aboutourselves.
Remember, growth doesn't erasethe hardship.
(21:15):
It grows alongside it.
Thank you.
So, so much.
I honestly feel so honored thatyou've stayed till the end and
that you're still listening.
Thank you for letting me sharesomething so raw and personal
today.
(21:36):
If you are walking a similarroad right now, then please know
you are not alone.
There are so many of usnavigating the heartbreak of
dementia in our families.
Even though each journey isdifferent, the feelings, the
guilt, the grief, the exhaustionare shared.
(21:59):
If you need support, I reallyencourage you to reach out to
organizations in Australia, likeDementia Australia, but I'm sure
they exist in other countries aswell, or the Alzheimer's
Association.
Sometimes just talking tosomeone who gets it.
It can make all the difference.
(22:20):
And if this episode resonatedwith you, I'd love to hear from
you.
Send me a message, share yourstory, or just know that by
listening today, you've beenpart of something that matters.
So thank you so much forlistening, for being a part of
our amazing community.
Until next time, take care ofyourself and the people you
(22:44):
love.
Bye for now.
Thank you for joining me in thisepisode of Growing Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity
(23:07):
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and
(23:28):
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates, then I
invite you to hit subscribe andit would mean the world to us.
If you could share this episodewith others who you feel may
benefit too, you may also findme on Instagram at Growing Tall
(23:53):
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons and to learn andincrease your ability to live
the life you desire and deserve.
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.
(24:14):
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for.
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.
(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.
(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have
(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.
Hello, beautiful people.
Welcome back to Growing TallPoppies.
(01:30):
I'm Dr.
Nat Green, and today I wanted toshare something really close to
my heart with you all this weekas I'm recording this, it's
Dementia Action and AwarenessWeek.
And I felt really strongly thatI wanted to dedicate this
episode to something much morepersonal than usual.
(01:56):
I wanna take you behind thescenes of what's been happening
in our own family, because thetruth is dementia is not just
something that happens out thereto other people.
It's something that many of uswill face in our families,
(02:20):
particularly with an agingpopulation.
We are getting greater numbersof people diagnosed with
dementia as we live to be older,and the reality is it's messy.
It's heartbreaking and full ofemotions that.
(02:41):
Pretty much aren't often talkedabout.
So today I wanted to share alittle of my dad's journey, what
it's been like for us as afamily and how I've been
navigating the guilt, the grief,and the reality of transitioning
(03:03):
a parent into aged care.
All of that on top of, as youknow, the recent trip to Europe
with all the challenges thatposed and then coming home and
being absolutely bedridden for10 days with illness.
(03:23):
So yeah, definitely achallenging time.
And I thought I'd just sharewith you what the reality is, so
you know that.
Life isn't always this perfectpicture that a lot of people
paint.
As you know, one of my greatestvalues is of integrity and being
(03:48):
authentic.
So here you are, hear me openingup warts and all to what's been
going on in that reality and.
Whilst I've been navigating thatguilt, the grief, and the
reality that now faces us, myhope is that if you are going
(04:09):
through something similar, thatyou'll feel less alone and maybe
find just a little bit ofcomfort in knowing that all
those messy feelings that youare having are totally normal,
warranted, and it's reallyimportant to acknowledge them
and allow ourselves to feelthem.
(04:30):
Because sometimes life sucks.
So let me start with a bit ofbackground.
My own mum died of breast cancerwhen she was aged 51 after a
long grueling seven year battle.
(04:51):
And at the time my dad steppedup.
Like I never, never dreamt.
He would do or even could do.
Never thought it was possible,but he was fantastic.
He took care of my Mum,supported her, and went above
and beyond and this wassomething that I will always
(05:15):
remember and I'm grateful forand will acknowledge him for.
Dad remarried 23 years ago.
To the most amazing lady who weall love deeply and honestly, we
truly have been blessed to havethe two most wonderful souls as
(05:36):
mother figures.
I honestly count my blessingsevery single day, and
unfortunately, my stepmom wasdiagnosed with Alzheimer's a few
years ago.
It rocked our world and youknow, each.
Day, or not even day, but week,a month, we've lost a little bit
(05:59):
more of her, but she's stillamazing and we love her dearly.
And whilst my dad can beextremely frustrating at times,
like most of our parents can, tomy dad's credit yet again, he
stepped up and he took on thecarer role and has provided both
(06:20):
physical and emotional support.
And they've mutually supportedeach other and they love each
other dearly.
And for that, I'm so grateful.
However, to add another littlechallenge in the mix, my dad was
also diagnosed with bothAlzheimer's and vascular
(06:41):
dementia not too long ago, backin May, it's been.
A really tough road, to behonest.
And like many families, itwasn't something that happened
overnight.
It was little things at first,moments of forgetfulness, some
disorientation and confusion andchanges in how he managed
(07:08):
things.
Some challenges in processing,and then there's been periods of
denial and attempts.
From him, but from both of themto hide the reality so that they
could stay safe, independent,and at home, you know?
So what has made it even morecomplex, of course, for us, is
(07:31):
that Dad was also the primarycarer for my stepmom, and we
then started to notice a declinein her care and functioning.
So here was this man who'd beenstrong, supportive.
Carrying the responsibility oflooking after his partner and
suddenly his own health wasslipping away and he didn't
(07:55):
wanna acknowledge that.
And we worked hard to get someadditional supports in place.
But as we all know, the agedcare system here, leaves a lot
to be desired and there are farmore people needing care.
than there are availablepackages, especially when you
(08:17):
live in regional areas and oneswhere there is an aging
population make it even thatlittle bit more challenging and
their level one and two agedcare packages certainly weren't
cutting it.
And they were of course adamantthat they could still manage on
(08:37):
their own.
So it's been a fairly drawn outchallenge with many sidesteps
and a little dance along theway, and a lot of challenging
conversations.
And as you know, I went overseasfor this family trip of a
lifetime that we'd been planningfor a very long time.
(08:59):
And when I went overseasrecently, things seemed fairly
stable.
We had a basic plan in place foreyes to be on them both to
ensure adequate care needs andsupport, and we thought we had
more time, but clearly wedidn't.
(09:22):
While I was away, everythingchanged so quickly.
His decline has been prettyrapid.
The messages I was getting fromhome was that he was okay.
And then a few days before wearrived home, there appeared to
be a really steep decline withsome potential falls, but with
very unreliable reports.
(09:44):
So it was really hard toascertain, and this is tough.
I can't describe the sinkingfeeling of returning home.
And seeing a person that youlove, having experienced such a
sudden decline within seven daysat most, with no clear
understanding of why.
(10:07):
And the truth is you can'talways be there.
You have to do things yourselfand live your own life too.
I'm very mindful of that andaware of that, and as a carer
and support, of course, you needand are entitled to a break.
But life pulls us in so manydirections and sometimes decline
(10:30):
doesn't wait for the calendar toline up neatly.
Well, all the times, life isn'tlinear and we can't control
everything.
So then has come the guilt andthe emotions.
(10:51):
With all of this has come thishuge wave of guilt.
In the initial stages, therewasn't guilt.
I was able to rationalize that Iwas entitled to some time away
and that self-care is important,and so on and so on.
All those internalconversations.
(11:12):
But as Dad's been in hospitalfor an extended period.
Those doubts and guilty momentshave crept in the guilt of not
being there in those exactmoments.
The guilt of choosing to go on atrip to live my life while
knowing that things at homeweren't easy, the guilt of not
(11:33):
being able to split myself intwo, one half in Europe with
that one also battling healthissues and challenging
situations over there.
And the other at home doingregular check-ins on them both
rather than having to rely onothers to do those.
And I think this is somethingthat so many families just don't
(11:55):
talk about.
We assume we should somehowmanage it all perfectly, that we
should be the ever presentdaughter or son, while also
balancing our own work, our ownfamilies, our own lives.
That's crap.
'cause the reality is it'simpossible.
(12:18):
And yet, even knowing that theguilt lingers for me, it's been
this constant innerconversation.
Am I doing enough?
Am I letting him down?
Am I letting my family down asthey need my focus too?
And alongside the guilt is thisdeep grief.
(12:39):
Watching someone you love loseparts of themselves, lose their
independence, their mobility,and lose clarity.
It's like you're grieving themeven more while they're still
here.
It's an incredibly heavy kind ofloss because you never quite
know which version of themyou'll get each day.
(13:02):
In fact, from one hour to thenext in each day.
And then there's the reality ofmaking decisions around aged
care.
Oh my goodness, that is so notfun.
And I would not recommend that.
Well actually put it this way.
I would not recommend avoidinghaving done that prior to
(13:24):
getting to this situation.
And there's been a lot oflearnings around that for me.
Ones that I already knew, butnow that are hitting home even
more.
I don't think anyone reallyprepares you for how complicated
and emotional this is.
It's not just about finding theright place or signing the
(13:47):
mounds, the endless mounds ofpaperwork.
It's about accepting that yourparent, or in this case, parent
and stepparent, who once tookcare of you, now needs that same
care or even more themselves.
It's that shift in roles.
(14:08):
Suddenly you are the one makingdecisions, signing forms,
talking to doctors, having to doyet again, major advocacy in
systems that just don't havethat level of personal care that
you'd give.
And asking the questions aboutmedication safety, requesting
(14:31):
respect.
Insisting on dignity becausesometimes some caregivers have
forgotten how to do that and arevoid of empathy, and that's been
really challenging.
And at the same time, your heartis screaming, this isn't how
(14:53):
it's supposed to be.
It's also incrediblyconfronting.
Walking into aged carefacilities, meeting with staff,
facing the reality of what lifewill look like for your parent
or parents from now on, itbrings up so much grief and fear
(15:16):
and that dance of, will this beright?
Is this the best option?
How will I know?
Is how they present to us,really, how it is in there.
So many thoughts, so many fears.
And then there's the family sideof it.
Siblings, partners, stepsiblings in this case, and
(15:38):
potentially tricky relationshipswith everyone processing things
differently, everyone wantingwhat's best, but sometimes
having different opinions onwhat best actually looks like.
That can create tension at thevery moment that you're all
already stretched thinemotionally.
(16:06):
And in the middle of all ofthis, I've been asking myself,
what is this teaching me?
What can I take from thisincredibly hard season?
One of the big lessons has beenaround letting go of control.
(16:28):
I can't control the pace ofdad's decline.
I can't control every decisionor every outcome, and that's
hard for me and some of my otherfamily members.
You know, most of us like tohave a plan to feel like we're
(16:48):
doing everything right, butdementia doesn't follow a plan.
Another lesson has been theimportance of allowing myself to
feel the sadness, the intensesadness, the guilt, the anger,
the helplessness.
They're all part of the process,and there really wasn't a huge
(17:10):
amount of time.
Pretending our emotions don'texist only makes it a much
heavier load to carry.
And perhaps the biggest lessonis the reminder that you can't
do this alone.
Whether it's leaning onsiblings, friends, or
(17:30):
professional support, navigatingdementia is way too big a weight
for one person to carry bythemselves.
It's essential that we get someform of support as it really is
a long and challenging road.
So I really urge you to reachout and ask for help.
(17:54):
It's not a sign of weakness.
In fact, it's a sign ofstrength.
It's not something you can doalone.
And for those of you listeningwho are going through this right
now.
I want you to know this.
It's okay if you feel likeyou're not doing enough.
It's okay if you feel torn in amillion directions.
(18:17):
It's okay if you feel likeyou're failing.
Some days you are not.
You are human.
And in those quiet moments withmy dad and my stepmom, even as
things change, there are still.
Huge flashes of love, ofconnection, of shared history
(18:39):
and great stories.
Dementia can take away so much,but it can't erase the love.
Now, before we close today, I'dlove to leave you with a few
reflection questions.
These are designed to help youpause, to breathe, and to
(19:00):
connect with your own journey.
Especially if you are walkingthrough something that feels
really heavy right now, whetherit's navigating care of a parent
who's transitioning into thatend stage of life or aged care,
or if you are navigating yourown or a family member's trauma,
(19:27):
this is all relevant.
You might wanna jot these downin a journal or simply take a
quiet moment to think aboutthem.
Where am I carrying guilt rightnow?
And what would it feel like tosoften that guilt with
self-compassion?
(19:50):
Number two, what part of thisseason is teaching me something
new about myself?
About my strength, myresilience, or even my ability
to love more deeply.
Number three, in the middle ofgrief or loss, what are the
(20:11):
small moments of connection orgrace that I can still hold
onto?
And number four, how might thisdifficult experience shape me
for the better in the long run?
Even if I can't see it fullyyet, what seeds of growth might
(20:33):
be planted here?
And number five, what support doI need and who can I allow into
my circle right now instead ofcarrying this alone?
These kind of reflections are atthe heart of post-traumatic
(20:53):
growth.
Finding meaning, purpose,strength, and even
transformation.
Not by denying the pain, but byacknowledging it and letting it
teach us something new aboutourselves.
Remember, growth doesn't erasethe hardship.
(21:15):
It grows alongside it.
Thank you.
So, so much.
I honestly feel so honored thatyou've stayed till the end and
that you're still listening.
Thank you for letting me sharesomething so raw and personal
today.
(21:36):
If you are walking a similarroad right now, then please know
you are not alone.
There are so many of usnavigating the heartbreak of
dementia in our families.
Even though each journey isdifferent, the feelings, the
guilt, the grief, the exhaustionare shared.
(21:59):
If you need support, I reallyencourage you to reach out to
organizations in Australia, likeDementia Australia, but I'm sure
they exist in other countries aswell, or the Alzheimer's
Association.
Sometimes just talking tosomeone who gets it.
It can make all the difference.
(22:20):
And if this episode resonatedwith you, I'd love to hear from
you.
Send me a message, share yourstory, or just know that by
listening today, you've beenpart of something that matters.
So thank you so much forlistening, for being a part of
our amazing community.
Until next time, take care ofyourself and the people you
(22:44):
love.
Bye for now.
Thank you for joining me in thisepisode of Growing Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity
(23:07):
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and
(23:28):
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates, then I
invite you to hit subscribe andit would mean the world to us.
If you could share this episodewith others who you feel may
benefit too, you may also findme on Instagram at Growing Tall
(23:53):
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons and to learn andincrease your ability to live
the life you desire and deserve.
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.
(24:14):
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for.
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