Crossing ethical lines in coaching.

Can we talk about how ethical lines get crossed in coaching? The last 90 days or so I've taken some time to really examine my own dance in this industry that gets a lot of flack, and for good reason, for not being one that is the most ethical. Whether that is the mistreatment of the title, COACH, and how this is a career path that is not regulated enough or at all. Beyond that how does that translate to the public at large who have been finding themselves in a space of looking for answers or transformation through the help of a coach.  Cult-y much? No, not me: One easy place where we can see immediate evidence of crossing ethical lines, is in CULTS. Specifically, one that I really had a strong reaction to, called NXIVM (pronounced Nexium). I talk about seeing the docuseries on HBO named THE VOW. This cult was designed as a self improvement, "life your best life", cult. Well, that is coaching. When watching this series often I found myself SCREAMING at the TV with my husband sitting beside me on the couch. It doubled with the second season. The documentary displayed how easy it can be, as a coach, to abuse your leverage on a client. It is an awful example but powerful. And you can also see how easy it is for someone who is looking to improve their lives could get caught up in it. One thing that came up in one episode was someone in a public place saying, "I would never get caught up in a cult." Quickly one of the defectors who heard this said, "You would be surprised how easy it is."   Cult-like thinking runs rampid in our culture. We think its the weak and simple-minded who are prone to be taken advantage of but it is not so. It is those who are seeking for change who are the ones that most often are targeted. Because cults need money and so, it is usually highly intellectual people who get drawn in. With that in mind, take a look at a few podcasts I mention to hear more about the cult culture and about this specific one: NXIVM.  The dark side of coaching: This segment I express my own troubles as being a coach in an unregulated industry and personal experiences with harassment and gaslighting when a very specific incident occurred. What this experience has shown me is that it's part of a truth that I did not wish to acknowledge for myself or to others. In whatever way we see it. Whether that is how coaches treat their clients and/or how we still have work to do in the arena of victimization in all industries of work. Specifically here in coaching. This story highlights how I was bypassing something important. Something that could not and would not be ignored.   Finding peace in it:  Being a Truth seeker my whole life I didn't realize this fundamental thing about the Truth that it isn't always wrapped up in nice packages and that it is never one side or the other...it's BOTH, the dark and the light! I may not like the dark side (of anything really) but ignoring it doesn't mean it goes away or make it any less part of the truth. Are you a coach or healer? How have you reconciled with this in your work?  *A Little Bit Culty by husband and wife, Sarah Edmondson & Anthony Ames who left Nxivm. Their experience and that of others going through similar experiences are told on this podcast.  Another great podcast on this subject is Cultish by Jeremiah Roberts and Andrew Soncrant. They explore all kinds of cults and all the impacts they have on society.  #cults #coaching #darksideofcoaching #NXIVM #HBOMAX-TheVOW #ICF #codeofethics #certifiedcoaching