Let's Talk Labia!

Supraja thinks her labia are too big, are they? Sara weighs in. Let's talk vulvas

Episode Transcript

Sara (00:03):
Hi, i'm Sara, And I'm Supraja, and this is Gyn and
Tonic.

Supraja (00:08):
Welcome back to Intimate Convals with your
besties.
Okay, we're doing it.

Sara (00:13):
Welcome back.
That was fun too, so do it.
I'm taking Italian lessons.
Ooh, i saw your note cards.
I was trying to see what yourmom had written on her Italian
note card, doesn't?
your mom speak Italian.
It's like decent, i'm not aconf….
I didn't realize I'm….
This is what Sarah starts togain confidence in her language

(00:35):
skills.
All of a sudden, everyone elsewho is fluent is decent.
That's what make.

Supraja (00:41):
People are like I understand all Spanish, i just
can't speak it.
So you don't speak it.
Then Let's just be clear.

Sara (00:48):
I'm just kidding, she's not kidding, it's my biggest….
It's my biggest….

Supraja (00:53):
I'm not including you because I know you got it.
You know what I'm doing.
I understand all of Spanish, ijust can't speak it.
Then you can't speak it, i know.

Sara (01:00):
I honestly do get annoyed.
I don't get annoyed in lifewhen people claim languages Like
if someone spoke English thatwas a little broken.
I'd be like, oh, you're stillspeaking English.

Supraja (01:09):
You know what I mean.
You're trying to just shave me.

Sara (01:11):
But I do get really annoyed with people in the
hospital, like medicalprofessionals, who claim to
speak medical Spanish becauseI'm like you're not, but just
because you can be like, does ithurt in your head.
It doesn't mean you'reconnecting with someone as a
human.

Supraja (01:28):
That's my biggest pet pee People don't use
interpreters, but that's a topicfor another time.

Sara (01:32):
That's what we're talking about today.
Actually, Sarah, everyone wantsto hear about your date.
I've been waiting to ask her.

Supraja (01:41):
I'll give you snippets in the full story tomorrow.
I'm on this ever ongoingjourney of finding a life
partner.
That's the snippet.
That's pretty good.

Sara (01:55):
No, it's really good.

Supraja (01:56):
I feel like I'm always telling people I want a tall
brunette who's a nerd And let'sdo the scientists.

Sara (02:03):
So I feel like, there's like, and he's a tall brunette,
and he's a tall brunette I wasgoing to say it twice And he's a
tall brunette, so we'll see, ihope he's not listening to this.

Supraja (02:10):
I'm like, are you sharing it with him Too soon?

Sara (02:13):
If you are listening, these are all positive things.
Sarah's smiling a lot.
Check it out on YouTube.
Okay, well, I know we have ameaty topic today.
Actually, I've been feelingvery anxious about that.
I came in here today with a lotof anxious energy.

Supraja (02:31):
Really Yeah.

Sara (02:34):
And I think, maybe because I don't want to talk about my
labia.

Supraja (02:39):
I'm like all about this episode.
I'm like let's talk aboutinsecurity.
Let's get vulnerable It's likemy jam, i know.

Sara (02:47):
And I'm like wait.
Why did I pitch this?

Supraja (02:50):
That's like my favorite question on like a hint or on a
dating app.
It's like I'll fall in lovewith you if you're vulnerable.
I know it's true.

Sara (02:59):
I was actually saying that to Adam the other day.
We were talking about datingapps, or Yeah, we were talking
about dating apps and likehaving gone on dates with people
who like really have ittogether, and I think his app
had said something that was likehe like spent a lot of time in
France or something, and I in myhead is like no, no, i was not
attracted to that.
Like I thought it was cool Youmight speak French, but I was

(03:21):
like is this guy some like verystuck up?
like had a perfect childhood?

Supraja (03:27):
no trauma person, and then he was like yeah, then you
met me.

Sara (03:29):
Were you disappointed?
I was like no.
I was like ooh, you have trauma.
Well what are we talking abouttoday?
Okay, so we're going to talkabout my labia.

Supraja (03:42):
We're talking about GYN insecurities, specifically
labia.

Sara (03:48):
Yes.

Supraja (03:49):
Because it comes up quite frequently.
It comes up in clinic and wewant to dismantle some myths,
give you some facts andhopefully some reassurance or,
if not, some guidance and how toseek help if it is a problem.

Sara (04:04):
Yeah, I think I have always not been super
comfortable talking about thatpart of my body, which is kind
of ironic because it's my entireprofession And I think with
other people I have goodobjectivity and being like we're
all so beautiful It like reallydoesn't matter.
People really have alldifferent shapes and sizes of

(04:27):
bodies and it's all great.
But especially, I think,growing up in like a very
culturally conservative familyyou know, my family is from
South India, originally from avillage, very religious, And it
just wasn't at all talked about.
All of the emphasis in thesubliminal messaging was all

(04:49):
about men, like what men want,And from a very young age I
think that seeps through to likethe kids from their moms not
talking about it and their momsnot having autonomy over it.

Supraja (05:03):
But this is so true because it was funny.
I was just sharing this withthe patient today because I had
a patient referred to me whosemom is a health care provider
and they have a really adorableRelationship and I was like you
guys, i love your relationshipso much.
It's so funny because my momhas like no idea what I do.
I know she knows I'm a woman'shealth care provider, but I

(05:24):
remember one time at her askingme How do you pee when you're
wearing a tampon?
and I was like home, mariaMaria.

Sara (05:33):
Let's take a pee.

Supraja (05:34):
Oh my, i need you to go home and put a mirror down
below.
We got multiple holes downbelow.
But my mom is from Peru andlittle awareness of her own
anatomy, so it's not a topic Weever talked about and it's not
something I would have everbrought up to my mom to say like
how should I groom What?
what is like what, what's likewhat looks good, what say like?

(05:54):
it's just not a topic we everdiscussed until I really became
a gynecologist.

Sara (05:59):
I know now I, when I talk about it I'm like aware that it
might be the first timesomeone's addressing it with
that generation.
You know they never feltcomfortable talking about it or
asking questions.
Yeah, it's funny that it hasswitched so much, but that, like
, those lessons are still kindof intrinsic, even if you Have
kind of thought your way out ofreally feeling that way, like so

(06:22):
Sarah needs Sarah do my pap,and I think before I walked, in
I was like Sarah, my.
I have labial hyper-trophy.
I just want you to be prepared.

Supraja (06:32):
I know patients come in all the time and they're like I
haven't shaved my legs or Ihaven't showered today and here,
and we do not care.
We're gonna do a separateepisode on this.
But here comes super gel.
Like giving all these, likewarnings, i'm like what?

Sara (06:46):
are you doing?
I was like, okay, we'll take alook at that like very
professional and I was like Iwas like this is scaring me more
.

Supraja (06:55):
But you told me and I'm choosing to- believe you, i'm
choosing to let it go that.

Sara (07:00):
I have very normal labia, but I never like I don't know,
you don't like wake up with ageeight and like have all the
women in your life show youtheir labia?
Yeah, this is normal, this isnot normal.
I mean, that's just me, yeah.

(07:20):
and anyway it has helped mereframe and realize that It's
worth a longer discussion ofjust understanding like what's
normal, what's not normal, andwhen it matters or doesn't
matter.

Supraja (07:35):
and spoiler probably as normal and doesn't matter all
of us have our own insecuritiesand we get really preoccupied
with this Perception ofsomething that we think is
abnormal about our body.
But other people are unlikely tothink that and It can result in
, you know, emotional andphysical distress for people,

(07:57):
and so we're hoping to, you know, address some of that distress,
and it can be a wide spectrum.
For some people, it's like Idon't love the way my labia look
, but for other people it canactually be Prohibitive and keep
them from wanting to beintimate with other people or
wear yoga pants or do thingsthat they worry other people
gonna talk about, and so That'snot something I really

(08:18):
understood until I became agynecologist and people started
bringing it up.
I'm worried about how long myLibia are.
Does this look abnormal?
I'm like no, but it's made mebe more conscious about
reviewing anatomy with patientsand letting them know this is
your Libia Major, this is yourLibia Major, and going over the
each little part so that peopleknow, oh, and I'm letting them

(08:39):
know this looks normal, thislooks normal, giving them
reassurance and then, if itcomes up, it comes up.

Sara (08:44):
That's essentially what I did at SuperJ's visit.
So I was like, let's sign youup for therapy.
I know, Oh my God, this is along time coming.
Side note this is still thebest espresso martini I've ever
had.

Supraja (08:56):
And I'm getting this is so good, I like to feel it a
little bit You do.
It's kind of like this I have asalad for dinner.
I'll give you the recipe later,but it's.
I know I love my espressomartini.
It's breakfast.

Sara (09:06):
DMS for her recipe.

Supraja (09:08):
It's because it has a creamy base, and I'm all about a
creamy base.
espresso martini, it's so good.

Sara (09:15):
Yeah, so I think you said a few things that I think are
super important.
One there's so many factorsinvolved with our preoccupation
on that part of our body And forsome people it really is an
issue, and that issue can bestemming from different things,
like for me, it probably stemmedmore on the side of my own

(09:35):
feelings about my body thanreally any physical
characteristic, and it's not tosay any of that is less real,
but the way you approach it isdifferent.
Right, i had to do a lot of selfwork and I, honestly, i did
have a therapist, although Idon't know that we got to my
labia, i got a lot of otherissues we got to My therapist,
and I don't talk about my vulva.

Supraja (09:54):
We never got that far.
I quit before that happened.

Sara (09:57):
But yeah, you had, i had to do a lot of self work of like
.
Is this something that I'mdisproportionately focused on?
And if that's the case, there'snot.
It's like a moving target.
You know what I mean, becauseit's not based in an actual
problem.
It's based in my feelings aboutmy body that are much more
layered than that.

(10:18):
So there's that.
But then, on the just physicalside of it, a lot of people can
have issues Like if it's gettingstuck in your clothes, if it's
causing constant irritation, ifit's causing pain, if it's
causing pain during sex.
You think of anything else?

Supraja (10:33):
It's keeping you from wearing certain types of
clothing because of the like,the level of discomfort, like
you can't wear tight pants, youcan't wear certain types of
underwear, you feel like yourlabia are being dragged into the
vagina when you're intimatewith your partner That's what
people will say or it's chafingand rubbing while you're having
like intercourse with yourpartner or foreplay.

(10:54):
You know those are all.
Or sitting down, like patientswill say, like I'm sitting down
for hours and I'm uncomfortable.
I'm not shuffling in my chair.
So you know, whenever I'mevaluating somebody for their
discomfort or their concerns,you know it's also like what is
like actually bothering youabout it, and there's lots of
different components.
There's the physical component,but also what's the emotional

(11:16):
component?

Sara (11:17):
Is it?

Supraja (11:17):
really something that's bothering you or is it ideas
coming from other people?
And you know, I think that'slike a huge topic in itself.
But and the other thing beinglike, where are these ideas
coming from?
Like, is it like Super Joesaying something, like she you?

Sara (11:35):
know it's all about like men watching porn, like how we
like idealize, like a weirdprepubescent body.
I mean, to be fair, i'm justgoing to mention the Kardashians
on every episode because,although I know there's lots of
controversy about them and likeidealistic body standards, they

(11:55):
did have a big role in makingmore curvy bodies attractive, i
think.
Anyway, so there's like nocomment.

Supraja (12:08):
I did finally catch up.
Oh, you did.
I got to episode.
I finished episode three onGoogle this weekend, So I'm
waiting for that episode whereKylie brings up what kind of
beauty standard are we settingfor the world to be continued?

Sara (12:20):
But I think traditionally, at least in like my memory what
was really put up on a pedestalwas like being super skinny,
having a flat chest, like notbeing very curvy, and with that
comes having a vagina thatdoesn't have.
well, i said vagina and then avulva, a vulva, a vulva, and

(12:42):
we'll tell you about thedifference.
There is really jazz to teachyou about vulva and having, but
having a vulva that's hairless,has like very little tissue,
which, again, is just what wethink men, cis men, want.

Supraja (12:58):
Like who has made that beauty standard?

Sara (12:59):
Right.

Supraja (13:00):
That's the standard.

Sara (13:01):
Yeah, there are all sorts of people who want all sorts of
things and it's all beautiful.
You know, this is my self talk.

Supraja (13:10):
You guys are being let in.
But it's like interesting toexplore this and I especially
explore it with some of myyounger women who come into the
office and you know they want alabiaplasty and they want their
labia surgically corrected, andI think it's a longer
conversation and I think youknow people should ultimately do

(13:30):
what they feel is going to makethem feel confident and
beautiful.
But I think it's also importantto explore, like, why do you
think that's going to make youfeel confident and beautiful and
like, is it you know what yourpartner is hoping you'll look
like?
Is it something that is alwaysbeen a person?
And I don't think one reason iscorrect.

(13:51):
I just think it's important tounderstand, like, why you feel
like this before doing somethingthat could be permanent.

Sara (13:57):
Yeah, having a real conversation with yourself about
if this surgically is going tofix that feeling, and for some
people it will.
Yeah, some people maybe not somuch.
Okay, well, tell us aboutpelvic anatomy.
Sarah, go off.
I think you should start out toin or up to down.

Supraja (14:15):
Whatever, well, whenever I do, you have a method
vulver didactic lectures.

Sara (14:20):
Okay, You know.

Supraja (14:21):
I'm no BGYN, but I also run a vulver clinic once a week
, and so I do a lot of didacticlectures on vulver anatomy,
because a lot of people aren'taware about their anatomy
Patients, my mother being one ofthose examples which you may be
listening to this Maria isgoing to love this, maria Elena
is listening, but providers arealso not aware of anatomy.

(14:44):
You know, i'll often get emailssaying this patient has a red
spot on the vagina and I'm likeit's not the vagina, it's the
vulva.
But I think the more we're awareof our own anatomy, the more we
can advocate for ourselves, themore we feel comfortable
knowing like, actually this isnormal, this is a normal
anatomical variant.
Yeah, and I thought those aremy favorite kind of visits where

(15:05):
I get to review that thoseparts of the exam with the
patient.
I always use the right terms,but essentially, like, if you
think about the borders of thevulva, this is a little bit
debatable, but in general it's.
You know, the top border isyour mom's pubis, so it's that
fatty pad of tissue above yourpubic bone where essentially

(15:27):
pubic air grows, unless yougroom your pubic air away.
Then you have your inner groins, where, like where your inner
thighs are, and then the bottomborder is the skin between the
vagina and the anus.
It's the skin, the perineum,essentially where people tear
when they have a vaginaldelivery.
And then, as you go inside, thenext layer you hit is the labia
majora.
Most women have flat labiamajora.

(15:49):
That's not the larger labiathat we're referring to And the
not me.
And the labia majora is whatgrows hair.
Then that's what some peoplewill groom and not I'm just
kidding, well, i'm not actuallywell, anyway, we'll get into
that later.

(16:10):
But then there's the labiaminora, which are the smaller
lips, and those are what canvary in shape and size, kind of
like our breasts.
They can be asymmetrical, theycan be identical, they can be
longer, and I'll always likepoint them out to the patient
These are your labia majora,this is your labia minora.
And then within the labiaminora is the entrance to the

(16:30):
vagina or the hymenal remnants,so you know.
And then the hole where youvoid from or purinate from the
urethra is within the labiaminora.
So you know, that's like abasic understanding of vulva
anatomy.
But the labia minora can varyfrom one woman to the other.
They can be asymmetrical, theycan be areas of discomfort, they

(16:51):
can, you know, havedermatological conditions.
There's so many things that cango on And and you super just
going to tell you about someresources where you can look up
the many different types oflabia.

Sara (17:04):
Large labia project.
What was the other one?

Supraja (17:08):
The vulva wall, the great wall of vulvas.
Yeah.

Sara (17:12):
We just said that wrong.
I'm sorry, but I have looked atthe large labia product a lot.
I think it's so helpful andit's helpful to tell other
people too.

Supraja (17:21):
I bring it up during visits because patients will be
will tell me like I want to.
I, my other doctor, mentioned Ishould consider labia plasty or
something like.
like the doctor, yeah, i had apatient come to me one time.
She's like well, i shouldconsider that right.
And I was like let's talk aboutthat You're like.

Sara (17:36):
Why Like?
because they told me to Like.
Okay, we're taking names, folks, that's good.

Supraja (17:42):
Let's explore that.
But well, i have a textbookthat I bring with me to clinic
and we'll go through picturesand I'll say this is what your
vulva looks like.
This is normal, this is anormal variant.
Um, you know and I willfrequently use the example of
breasts Like nobody's twobreasts are identical.
Nobody like we.
Just every part of our nothingis always symmetrical, and I

(18:05):
love showing people photos andthey're like oh, you're right,
that is what my vulva looks like.

Sara (18:10):
Yeah, i guess to review the times where it might be
worth further investigation.
If you are having a lot ofemotional distress over it, it's
still worth talking aboutwhether or not the response the
you know the way to fix that issurgery or something else.
It's still worth bringing upwith doctor.

Supraja (18:30):
And I love it when people bring up these kinds of
topics and you can spend thewhole visit good Like talking
about it and exploring it.
I can give you my perspective.
Those are fun.

Sara (18:40):
I think those are fun business and also a good point
of like.
We're not all built the sameand not you're not going to buy
with every doctor the same.
So if you're in a doctor's, isit where it's a really simple
answer and it might not haveaddressed all the anxieties you
have about it.
Maybe that's not the rightdoctor to have the conversation
with, but there is someone outthere who hopefully you could

(19:01):
have a really productive andnuanced conversation with.
And then, two, there arephysical things that can suggest
someone should talk about it orhave it looked at.
Or, if it is painful, irritated.
Other times where you'renoticing it excessively, like
sitting for a long time, thatyou feel discomfort.

(19:22):
And then I know, Sarah, you'vementioned like the length is a
little bit controversial butthere is technically a cutoff.

Supraja (19:29):
There's like a subjective measurement that
people will use to say like well, i guess you could consider
this hypertrophy, but there'sreally no like standard, like
it's just a subjective number.
But when you measure the labiayou start at that.
If you separate them, separatethe labia menora apart, and you
start at one tip and go to theother tip in a horizontal

(19:51):
direction, you're not superstretching it, you're just
gently separating.
They say six centimeters, but Ihave lots of patience, like
that's quick to hit.
I have a lot of patients whohave labia much longer than that
and they're not bothered andyou don't need to do anything
about it.

Sara (20:05):
Then it's not an issue.

Supraja (20:06):
yeah, I've also had patients with labia shorter than
that and it's one side iscausing discomfort and we've
ruled out other causes and we'vesurgically corrected it and
they felt better.
And so, there again, there's noone standard, it's really each
individual case.

Sara (20:23):
Yeah, and I think too, sometimes when we have really
strict definitions we adhere towhich, like we just said, this
one, we don't personally adhereto it like that in our practices
, but when you do, you're notreally accounting for other
factors.
Like I take care of a lot oftrans and gender diverse
individuals who are ontestosterone, which makes parts
of that part of the anatomybigger or smaller, and it's not

(20:45):
really taking that into account.
There's lots of things likethat that can affect your
anatomy.
I think the highlights are whatyou said, like it either should
be causing you great distressor causing physical symptoms
that are bothersome.
Do you want to?
so yeah, so if you meet allthat, have this great nuanced

(21:07):
conversation, and you reallyfeel like surgery is the best
option, that is usually anoutpatient surgery.
Sarah's our Bulbar specialisthere, so I'll let her tell us
all.
So I do, do, do.

Supraja (21:22):
I do do labiaplasties, but again, i do this like heavy
screaming process to really,like you know, understand the
patient's perspective and, youknow, answer any myths, concerns
.
You know, go over pros and conswith patients before we do this
because again it's, it'spermanent, we're changing a part
of your body and it's a reallysensitive part of your body.
But once we've decided likethis is the best option, i tell

(21:46):
people there are multiple peoplein medicine who can do this
gynecologist, urogynecologist,plastic surgeons.
When I specifically do it, idon't do it for cosmetic reasons
.
So if you're going to aprovider because you know the
like, the cosmesis is the mostimportant thing to you, then I
tell people like I'm not yourbest surgeon, i'm doing it for
functional or physiologicalreasons, meaning you're having

(22:08):
discomfort, you're okay if itdoesn't look perfectly
symmetrical, granted, i obsessand do my best to make it look
perfect literally.

Sara (22:17):
Well, i feel, because you know going in, that there's so
much emotional weight to thesurgery you're about to do,
which maybe is true for a lot ofthings but I feel personally
connected.
Yes, so it's true, it doescarry.
I I think I obsess when I dothose surgeries too.

Supraja (22:33):
I literally went home after the first one I ever did
one of these I did as anattending and I went home and I
like sobbed in the shower.
It was like, yes, i like I waslike, oh my god, is she gonna
like it?
like so nothing we do iscosmetic other than like the
incisions we close.
But you know we've done so many, that's not you know that big
of a deal to us anymore.
But like I feel like this isjust like so different from

(22:54):
everything else we do that Iwant the patient to be happy, i
want her to feel confident, andso I put a lot of pressure on
myself and that's why I heavilycounsel patients like you can
also go to a plastic surgeon.
but it was funny because when Ispoke to a plastic surgeon once
she was like, oh, he's alsolike big egg chest.

Sara (23:12):
I think it's like when I just put the new boob in.

Supraja (23:15):
people are happy, i think it's because I'll follow
some plastics people online andthey're like no, that's not my
process.
I, like you know, i meditatebefore the OR, i channel my,
like I like superwoman posebefore I scrub.
But yeah, so I tell peoplethere are many different people

(23:36):
who do them.
There's many differenttechniques.
You know I do a straight cut,like curvilinear technique, but
other people do like wedgetechniques.
What I'm trying to say is thatthere are many different
surgeons who do this and youknow I think it's fine to shop
around, talk to people, go towho you feel like is listening
to you, who's who you feel likeyou vibe the most with.

(23:59):
And you know it is an outpatientprocedure.
In general these, usually oncethe patient is under anesthesia,
takes about 30 minutes.
You know I've done them asquick as 15, 20 minutes, but in
general it takes about 30minutes and you're just removing
the excess skin so that thelabia menorah is flush or even
level with the labia majora, sothat it's not extending too much

(24:20):
further out, and then you'rejust putting a few stitches and
those, you know, after thesurgery, the, the labia, what
remains, gets puffy.
And so I tell people you'regoing to feel puffy and swollen,
you're going to feel likeyou're waddling.
It's uncomfortable.
That discomfort usually lastsfor about one and a half two
weeks.
You'll you'll still be healingfor a total of like four to five

(24:41):
weeks, but the most of thediscomforts in the first two
weeks and the stitches pop offon their own.
And you know I like thedescription of them popping off.

Sara (24:51):
They just like yeah and I have people, i draw it out for
them, measure it and then in theoffice I'll I'll like put a dot
on their vulva and have andmake sure that lines up with the
picture we've agreed on, andthen I show it to them again,
just because it's, i don't know,no one's spending all their

(25:11):
time like looking at their vulvaand you want to make sure that
you're doing what they wantedyou to do.
Is people do have such likeintimate feelings about it.

Supraja (25:19):
I feel like when I've done these with the residents,
they probably think I'm a psychobecause I'm like so meticulous,
and but it's like it's it's soimportant.
I want the patient to know.
Like you know, i know thismatters and um, but yeah, it's
actually a prettystraightforward surgery, um, and
the recovery is not too bad.
It's about a month.
You can go back to work after aweek or two if you want to.

(25:41):
Should look beautiful after,and I think you know it
generally does.
I've seen some unfortunatecases from not from and I didn't
do.
I've seen some unfortunate casesfrom abroad and those make me
really sad, and so I think it'simportant to abroad like um, i
don't know what I'm going withthis.

Sara (26:01):
I'm just saying we know that there are very gifted
surgeons abroad as well.

Supraja (26:06):
Well, like no, i had this one patient who had it done
after the delivery, like ohlike shortly after the delivery
of her baby in another country,and you know they even sewed a
perperonium so it would be morecomfortable for her partner.
So you can just imagine theapproach that her like the
objective and the agenda wasvery sexist.

Sara (26:27):
Yeah, it's very different and so I.

Supraja (26:29):
That's why I like mentioned, like you know, um,
like no, like you know, know whoyou're going to ask questions,
how many of these done have youdone?
what's your technique?
what do you think?
yeah, i think those are allreally important questions that
I would ask anybody who is doingsurgery on me yeah, um, and I
mean I think you're very datadriven, which I think is great.

Sara (26:50):
In your personal life too, when you make choices, i feel
like I am very instinct basedpersonally, not necessarily in
medicine, my medical practice,but at least like when I make
big choices, i'm trying to thinkof I was at a doctor's office.
I think all those things areimportant.
And then I think it's alsoimportant to trust your gut,
like if you feel like thisperson is just kind of rushing

(27:11):
you through, it is not reallyexplaining it to you, well, find
someone else.
There's lots of other doctorswho will do it, you know.
So I think making sure you feelreally heard and that it's
someone you're going to be ableto go back to and ask more
questions afterward, or that youcould reach out to if you had
concerns about it even afterward, is really important yeah, so

(27:32):
that's my procedure itself.

Supraja (27:33):
Yeah and all of this is just this episode is to prove
to me that my labia is normaland Sarah's promise to build me
up so I think you know we wantedto conclude the episode with,
you know, appreciating howdifferent each of our bodies are

(27:54):
and different does not meanabnormal, unless it's causing
some kind of physical oremotional distress.
So then, explore it, askquestions.
But I think it's reallyimportant to really know our
bodies and celebrate them andtalk about our friends.
And I think we're lucky becauseyou know I'm like super good,
look at my Volvo, what does thislook like?

Sara (28:13):
literally we were like, i think it was New Year's or
something and.
Sarah wanted to like show mehow she groomed, so she just
lifted up her skirt and I reallywas really funny, because it
was like me, sarah, and then twoother gynecologists and then my
other best friend who was notin this and she was like closing
her eyes and like am I allowedto look?

(28:33):
They were serious.
they were like this is what Ido?

Supraja (28:39):
Well, because I like to grooming so seriously it was
great because I feel like mywhole life, the way I groomed
was based on what I thought wasexpected of me, like this is
what a guy wants me to look likewhen he went where I like in my
bed.
And it wasn't until I, you know, met somebody who was like, oh,

(29:01):
i like the opposite.
I was like, oh, i never thoughtabout that.
And I was like, okay, so Ichanged things up and I was like
actually, i like this, this ismore convenient.
I think it's like we're sofixated on what mainstream wants
, but like everybody's differentand every like, and at the end
of the day, you know, yes, i waschanging things up for

(29:22):
different partners, but at theend of the day, I figured out
what I liked about myself, whatmade me feel feminine, what made
me, what made my lifeconvenient, and so I feel like
it took me getting into my early30s to really own that, and so
now I love look at my full thumb.

Sara (29:39):
Yeah.
I mean I have had partnersbefore who had a lot of comments
about my body not my bulb upbut had comments, i think, that
I would have known to run butlike would comment about me
shaving my legs and things likethat, where you do feel like, oh
, there's one standard of beautythat I'm not quite living up to
, but then they, i shouldn'thave stayed with those people,

(30:02):
you know.
I mean, maybe for other peopleit wouldn't be such a big deal,
but for me it did affect myselfworth.
And then with Adam, like hejust tells me how much he loves
like every single thing about me, including all of my body,
which I just choose to believehim and it's great, you know,
but I think it does mean thereare people who are going to love
you for how you love yourself.

(30:23):
Yeah, those are the people thatyou want to find.

Supraja (30:25):
And I think if you just give off that sense of
confidence and like this is mybody, i own it, i love it, yeah,
like the right person is goingto think that, yeah, that's hot.
And if they don't like, like,run.

Sara (30:39):
And I'm already wondering if my ex is going to listen to
this.

Supraja (30:44):
I've tried to think.
I hope mine doesn't, because Ihate him so much.
Just kidding.

Sara (30:53):
But let's wrap this up.

Supraja (30:55):
Let's celebrate our bodies, let's own it, let's ask
each other questions and find aGYN that you trust and have good
rapport with that, so it can be, you know, a fun, reassuring
conco.

Sara (31:05):
Yeah, find one like Sara who will then start a podcast
with you and do a whole episodeabout it.
Love ya, love ya, bye.