April 30, 2025 • 40 mins
When a podcast interview goes terribly wrong, it becomes the perfect opportunity to get crystal clear about what truly matters on our spiritual journey. In this unexpected solo episode, I share the raw, real experience of having to stop an interview and dismiss a guest who revealed deeply problematic views that conflicted with everything my podcast stands for.
This challenging moment prompted me to pull back the curtain on my own spiritual evolution – from growing up between two different Christian denominations to teaching Sunday school, and eventually finding a more authentic spiritual path that transcends religious limitations. With complete transparency, I share my current spiritual beliefs: that we're all connected through divine oneness, that judgment and marginalization have no place in spiritual growth, and that authentic living is our true purpose.
What makes this spiritual awakening in midlife so liberating? For me, it's the absolute freedom from fear – especially fear of death. I explore why I no longer believe in hell, how I view Jesus as an ascended master while leaving behind religious dogma, and why I'm actually excited about eventually returning to divine love (though I'm in no rush!). This journey has taught me that setting clear boundaries with people whose paths don't align with mine isn't just acceptable – it's essential for spiritual growth.
Whether you're questioning your religious upbringing, feeling drawn to explore spirituality beyond doctrine, or simply trying to live more authentically, this episode offers permission to trust your intuition and honor your unique spiritual journey. Join me for this unfiltered conversation about standing firm in your truth, even when it means walking away from situations that don't serve your highest good. Ready to reclaim your spiritual journey on your own terms?
Halfway To Dead Podcast
email: Jen@HalfwayToDeadPodcast.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hey friend, welcome to the halfway to dead podcast.
I'm your host, jen Lovell.
Listen, you and I have reachedthat age where we are done with
the bullshit.
We know that midlife is ourchance to flip the script and
experience life on our own terms.
It's time to reconnect with ourhigher selves and reclaim our
inner peace.
Are you ready with an openheart and an open mind?
(00:26):
Awesome, you're in the rightplace.
Hop in and ride shotgun with meon this midlife spiritual
journey.
Hey, hey, friends, jen coming toyou here and guess what, we're
unexpectedly riding solotogether today.
And why do I say unexpectedly?
(00:48):
Because, for the first time,good old J-Lo Jen here had to
stop an interview, kick my guessto the curb and it was a no.
I'm sorry, I don't know howelse to put it, but we're going
to go over this.
I'm going to tell you whathappened, but first I want to
just give you a little insight.
I want to draw back the curtainon this whole podcast thing and
(01:10):
tell you a couple of things togive you a little background
before I tell you what went downtoday for me.
Because this is fresh, thishappened today and I was like,
oh hell, no, while this is fresh.
We're going to talk about itFirst of all.
What I want to talk about,though, is I love looking at my
stats.
So I get these little reportsthat show like I don't know who
exactly is listening, but I knowwhere they're located at as far
(01:31):
as country, state, city, thatkind of business.
So my favorite thing when I'mlooking through stats, I don't
really worry a lot about thenumbers, because I'm not up over
here with the goal of goingviral and getting an invite to
the Kardashians house.
Okay, no, that's not the goalhere.
This is a part of my ownspiritual journey and I hope
(01:53):
it's helping you guys out too.
But my exciting thing for me islooking and seeing when new
countries, especially, pop up inthe old charts.
When people are listening.
My numbers are getting higherin New Zealand and Australia, so
I want to give a shout out tomy New Zealand and my Australia
friends.
It's weird how this world works, because I just noticed it
(02:16):
yesterday, but prior to that,early in the week, I just
changed I don't know if you guysknow you can do this, but I
changed my Siri voice.
You know my iPhone Siri, who,like, sometimes does what you
want her to, sometimes doesn't.
Anyway, her voice wasirritating me.
I don't know why, but I wassick of her.
So I changed her voice to myfavorite accent in the world,
(02:36):
which is an Australia NewZealand accent.
So I switched Siri and then Isee that, like, my numbers are
going up in New Zealand andAustralia.
So shout out to you guys.
I love seeing numbers go up andI love when a new country pops
up.
I don't care if there's oneperson listening.
I have some people in SaudiArabia listening.
My top places obviously are US,canada and the UK.
(02:58):
All right, those are my topthree, but I have a lot of other
countries in there, you guys,and it's very exciting.
Now let me give you some behindthe scenes on this whole process
of how I prepare for my guests,just a little background
insight.
So when I tell you whathappened today, you kind of get
it All right.
So I find guests in a fewdifferent ways.
I either know them personally,I know someone that knows them
(03:21):
personally, maybe they'rerecommended by you guys or a
previous guest, and then nowI've been doing this long enough
that people are reaching out tome.
They either reach out to meindividually or I don't know if
you guys know this, but thereare companies out there that you
can hire if you would like tobe a guest on podcasts.
Whether you're an author, amotivational speaker, whatever
(03:44):
you've got going on, whateverbusiness or whatever thing
you're doing.
If you decide you want to dothe rounds and be on different
podcasts, there are thesecompanies you can hire and they
will reach out for you andconnect you with, hopefully,
podcasts that are a match foryour material.
This is how this person came tome.
So typically what happens isthey reach out in email and they
(04:05):
send the person's links andwhat's called a one sheet.
So the one sheet has on ittheir bio, their photo,
suggested topics, suggestedquestions.
You could ask them all thiskind of stuff.
So typically, if I'm going touse a guest, that's and just so
you know.
I don't respond to all of these, no matter how they come to me,
and I really kind of do take itserious who comes on the show.
(04:27):
So, with that said, this personcame to me via a representative
and I got a one sheet and I didsome quick research.
Admittedly, I did not do asdeep of a dive as I normally
would have, but I needed someonefor this particular week and it
looked good on paper.
I was like, yeah, let's do it.
Here's what I usually do.
(04:48):
Whether I'm reaching out tosomeone or they're reaching back
to me to be on the show, Itypically do a vibe check,
whether that's asking otherpeople that know them or I
research them online.
Whatever I do a vibe check, Isee how it feels in my body.
I'll even sometimes meditate orpray on it, like is this person
a fit?
Should I reach out to thisperson?
(05:08):
And before I reach out and sendthem an email or whatever I'm
going to do, I'll take a minuteto do a quick meditation.
Please allow this email to bereceived.
Well, I kind of skipped out onsome of that with this one and
another red flag.
It got rescheduled like threetimes.
She was sick, I was sick, myinternet went out completely one
(05:29):
day.
Just everything was happening.
The universe was saying thisprobably shouldn't happen and I
didn't listen.
And she didn't have a book, sothere was no book to read.
She doesn't have her ownpodcast, so there wasn't a
podcast to listen to.
It was just some online linksto that.
And she seemed like, yeah,we'll find something good and
helpful for me and all myfriends.
That was my plan going into this, Okay, so let me tell you what
(05:49):
happened today to me.
I'm still a little bitflustered about it and I'll just
tell you ahead of time.
After this went down, I felt myvibe seriously drop, okay, and
so I got done with this and Itook a minute.
I had to take a minute, youguys, to really think about the
situation.
So, like, whatever lessons needto be learned were learned.
So I don't do this again.
I had to go outside and do alittle grounding.
(06:11):
I had to chill for a minute, Ihad to think it through, I had
to be pissed off, have a wholeconversation with my dog about
it.
Yeah, I had to work through it.
So I'm recording now because Ijust want to get some of these
thoughts out to you guys,because it sparked some things
for me, this whole experience.
Let me just briefly tell youwhat happened.
So I'm interviewing this personand I'm not going to tell you
(06:32):
her name, I'm not going to giveher any airtime because, frankly
, she doesn't deserve it.
This is my opinion.
Yes, she's allowed to have heropinions and do whatever she
wants, but this is my podcastand I will present who I would
like to present.
So she's, you know, we'retalking, we're going on and on
and I'm not loving the thingsout of her mouth, but I'm like,
(06:53):
no, you know what, there has tobe a reason.
She's on this episode.
We're going to dig in.
I'm going to do my job as ahost here and I'm going to try
and guide this in a betterdirection.
Well, she wasn't takingdirection, guys.
It was this kind of personality.
Okay, she was going to say whatshe wanted to say.
She was very opinionated, veryjudgmental.
She wanted to tell me and youall, my listeners, what we
(07:17):
should be doing, and it didn'tsound like a suggestion either,
and I didn't love it.
So she's talking, talking.
I'm trying to salvage thisthing and refocus her and in my
mind I'm thinking I'm going tohave to edit a lot of this out.
This is going to be a short one.
Whatever, let's just get donewith this, jen.
Well, it's not going anywherethat I want it to go.
(07:40):
So she's still talk, talk,talking.
And while she's still talk,talk, talking.
And while she's talking, I'mdoing the head tilt you know the
head tilt that our dogs do whenwe're talking to them and
they're trying to figure outwhat we're saying and it's
really cute.
You're like, oh, my God, you'reso cute with the head tilt.
Yeah, I know I wasn't lookingcute with my head tilt, but
again, she doesn't read a room,while this woman, because I'm
looking at her like what, whatis happening?
(08:01):
What are you saying?
So I stopped listening.
She's still talking.
I kind of stopped listening togo in internally here.
I usually have my pendulumfairly close to me.
I grab my pendulum and I'mconnecting with my angels, my
spirit guides, all my peeps, andI'm saying what's happening?
What do I need to do?
(08:21):
Is there validity in what she'ssaying?
Do I need to be the one thatneeds to be more open-minded?
Am I the one closed off here?
And I was getting like no, jen,you're not.
This isn't a fit for you andyour podcast.
And so I mean I was even likeshould I end this now?
(08:41):
Should I scrap the whole thing?
And my penchant was like, yeah,you should.
Well, I was still feeling kindof guilty.
I don't take it lightly thatpeople are investing some time
in my podcast, to be here and bea guest and all of these things
.
I really appreciate ittypically.
So I'm still debating aboutthis, but at this point I'm
going.
(09:01):
No, I got to do something hereBecause the things out of her
mouth aren't great and I don'tagree with any of them.
So I remember my recent guest,barbara.
If you haven't listened toBarbara's episode, I think it's
maybe episode 45.
It's within the last coupleepisodes from this one, okay,
and I remember her talking aboutwhat does this feel like in our
(09:24):
body, getting out maybe apocket phrase or two, figuring
out how to take a pause andfigure out how to handle the
situation instead of jumpingstraight into a decision.
I'm learning from all my guests, and my recent ones were more
recent.
Yeah, she was still in my headFirst of all.
How does this feel in my body?
Now she's still talking, youguys, she's right, I don't even
(09:46):
know what she was saying anymorebecause I was tuned out.
So I am like how does this wholeinterview and this person feel
in my body?
And my stomach was in suchtight knot, I mean like TMI.
But I was like I feel like Icould shit my pants right now.
That's how bad my stomach feels.
And so I was like okay, so mybody knows that this is a no,
(10:10):
how do I handle it?
So I say, excuse me, so-and-so,I just need a minute quick
break.
I'll be right back.
I get up.
I don't leave the room, I justget to the other side of the
camera.
Okay, because even though thisis audio for you guys, I'm also
doing video.
I'm face-to-face with my guestswhile I talk, because I don't
(10:30):
want to talk to a black screen.
Okay, so I go behind.
I'm still in the same room.
I have not turned off the videoor the audio.
I'm assuming maybe she thought Idid.
I don't know, but I go aroundand I'm standing and I'm okay.
What do I do?
I'm thinking to myself like howdo I word this?
How do I say this?
I'm again questioning myself.
(10:51):
I'm saying like is it me,though?
Am I being close-minded?
Is there some validity toanything she's saying?
Is there something that someoneout there needs to hear that
she's saying Okay?
So I'm still trying to givethis woman a benefit of the
doubt, but I'm also trying tofigure out how to get out of
this.
How do I respectfully tell herit's a wrap and I'm not using
(11:16):
this episode?
And then I hear this.
So I don't know who she'stalking to Someone in her?
I don't know if she's in heroffice or her home or what.
But she's talking to someoneand I hear the N-word.
You know the N-word.
I'm not going to say it, butyou know it.
She was being racist.
Let's just say that.
So for the record, I don't dothe N-word.
(11:39):
I don't like others to use itaround me.
I never allowed my children tosay it, others to use it around
me, I never allowed my childrento say it.
I don't even like music thatsays it.
And I know, culturally, I guesssome people are allowed to say
it and some people aren't.
It depends what crowd you're in, what your own ethnicity is.
I don't know what the rules areto it, I just know my rule is
it doesn't come out of my mouthand I don't like it to come out
(12:00):
of anyone's mouths around me.
Listen, culturally it was notappropriate for her.
This is a white as snow woman,from what I would only assume is
like from the Bible Belt.
I don't know, because she wasnot spiritual.
She was religious.
So she misrepresented herselfbasically, and I'm thinking did
(12:25):
she even listen to any episodes?
Did she do any research on meor what or what?
Because she would have knownwe're not a fit.
But here she sat and I takeresponsibility.
I should have known she wasn'ta fit.
Anyway, I hear the N-word out ofher mouth and that's it
Anything I was questioning in mymind.
That's done, this was a donedeal.
(12:47):
I went back around, back intomy little podcast chair in front
of the camera and I say did Ijust hear you say the N-word?
And she's what?
Huh.
You know, like she didn't know,I could hear that.
I said did you just say theN-word?
I said, actually, I don't evenneed you to answer that, I know
what I heard and I'm just goingto say right now that you and I
(13:09):
are on different paths and Icertainly wish you well on your
journey, but this interview isover and I'm not going to be
using any of this footage.
And she's trying to.
I don't know.
She thinks this is a discussionabout it, but I said uh-uh, let
me stop you there.
I'm not.
This isn't up for discussion.
(13:29):
This is my podcast and part ofmy journey.
And so this is you and I.
This is a no.
And I clicked the little redhang-up button on my screen and
I was flustered.
You guys, this was a lot for me,because I've never had to do
(13:49):
this before and typically I getalong with most people.
I pride myself on one of mygood attributes in being that I
get along with a lot of people.
I can connect with a lot ofdifferent type of people.
Genuinely it's not an act.
I really can connect with theCEO of a Fortune 500 company and
(14:13):
also, like the homeless womanon the corner living in a tent,
I genuinely have an interest inconnecting with all sorts of
different people.
Okay, I love having open mindand I love hearing things, but
the stuff out of this woman'smouth was not something I could
tolerate and it wasn't somethingmeant for any of you listening.
(14:34):
So it sparked a couple ofthings for me, because here's
the vibe I got from her.
I won't go into all the thingsthat she was saying because I
don't think that they deserveany airtime, but if you can
imagine, I got the vibe likethis.
This happened to me recently too.
So you know the door-to-door Icall them door-to-door religion
(14:54):
salesmen.
You know the ones that show upon your door dressed in their
Sunday best with a handful ofpamphlets.
So this is the vibe she wasgiving me.
I felt like I had a religionsalesman in front of me.
And so, okay, let's let me tellyou about these two that came to
my door, my religion salesman,recently, and they were young, I
mean, you know, fresh out ofSunday school or whatever the
(15:17):
process is.
They were 18 to 20, I'm goingto guess and they come to my
door.
I don't always even answer, butI was like why not?
So I opened the door and theystart their spiel right Like hi,
do you know, do you?
I mean they were, they hit itright out of the box.
It was like do you know Jesuspersonally and all of this
(15:39):
business?
And I said I do.
I said I totally do you guys?
I said I'm actually really,really good with that.
I have a personal relationshipwith God, jesus, all the angels.
I said I'm good, I'm good, howabout you?
I just throw it back.
I like to just throw it back atpeople sometimes how about you,
how are you doing?
(15:59):
And they don't know what to say, they don't know what to do
with me, which I get.
So, anyway, they're spoutingtheir stuff off and they're like
but are you sure, basically,are you sure you're not going to
burn in the depths of hell?
And I said I'm very, very sureI am, I'm very sure that I'm
good.
(16:19):
I'm actually excited to be backin God's love again someday.
So they didn't know what to dowith me.
You guys, this is not I don'tknow.
They hadn't practiced thisscript, I guess.
So I'm just trying to end thisthing because at this point I
got to move on with my day andthis is going nowhere fast.
I'm not inviting them in tochit chat, so I say hey, you
(16:44):
know what?
It seems like you guys are on avery specific path in your life
and that's great.
I hope it's the right one foryou.
I think my, I said I think mypath is very different than
yours.
And I think and here's where Igot a little snarky and I
probably didn't need to say thisin hindsight, but I'm human,
(17:05):
this in hindsight, but I'm human, whatever I said.
So I think that your path isback down my driveway into your
car.
Now they still didn't, andthey're just wide eyed and I was
like I probably didn't need tosay that, did I, jen?
But it was said, and I didn'tknow what to say, and so they're
still looking at me.
I said you know what I feel likeyou guys need closure, and so
would you like me to take yourpamphlet?
And she holds out her pamphletbecause I know this is their
(17:29):
main goal Get the pamphlet inthe hands of the sinners out
there, right?
Let's say this woman today.
So I took the pamphlet, I said,okay, good luck girls, good
luck on your journey, I'm goingto see you later.
And I shut the door.
So I got this vibe from thiswoman again today and I'm like
what is happening out in thelike?
(17:50):
What's going on?
Why?
Why so this?
Along with the fact thatsometimes I have people ask me
I've said before in the podcastI have people ask me like so do
you still feel like it's okay topray to God?
So do you still pray and talkabout Jesus?
I don't know what people arethinking Jen's doing over here,
okay.
So this has prompted me to justdo my own little testimonial
(18:14):
here and I just want to leteveryone know what my core
beliefs are.
So if you're going to be afuture guest or if you're a
listener or whatever, I just Ifeel like I need to let
everybody know where I stand onthings.
If you're a follower, if you'vebeen listening to all these,
you probably have a real goodidea what it is.
But I'm just going to throw outmy core beliefs currently, and
(18:36):
I say currently because Ireserve the right to change.
I believe that we all have theright to change and grow and
because I think when we stopdoing that, our journey's done,
we're not learning anything else, and I don't think that's the
point of this lifetime.
I try and give myselfpermission to change my mind,
because I can and so can you.
(18:56):
So let me just run this down foryou real quick.
I'll just tell a brief littlestory.
Little story a little.
I mean I got a million stories,you guys.
But let me just tell you alittle something about my
upbringing.
So I was brought up in theChristian religion.
My parents were divorced sothey each went to separate
churches.
(19:17):
My mom went to like aProtestant church, okay, a UCC,
united Church of Christ.
My dad was a little bit morehardcore with the religion.
He was a pretty strict Nazarenefor a while.
Then he just went kind of likeevangelical type of religion.
(19:38):
So every other weekend I wentto a different church because
when I was with my dad,obviously I had to go to his.
When I was with my mom, I hadto go to hers, and this is a
core memory for me, because backin those days I don't know if
they're still doing this at theSunday schools, but you would
get awards for perfectattendance and I never got one
(20:02):
damn reward, even though I wasin Sunday school and church
every Sunday.
Because they were littlesticklers, those Sunday school
teachers, because I would say tothem I'm at Sunday school every
week, I just like I have to goto my dad's next week, I can't
be here, I don't have anycontrol over this and you know,
(20:22):
because we're kids, we don'thave control over our lives,
really.
So they didn't care, theydidn't care.
Anyway, I never got an awardand clearly I'm not over it.
Oh, I am, but like no, it'sstill a core memory for me.
So this is how I was brought up.
(20:42):
My dad was, again more strict.
I did not have to adhere to itas strictly because I lived with
my mom most of the time, so Ididn't really have to adhere
closely to all of it.
And when I say adhere toclosely all of it, there was
stints where it was a sin topaint your nails.
It was a sin to get your earspierced.
It was, you know, simple thingsall the way to you will burn in
the depths of hell.
If you have sex before marriage, you need to have a skirt on
(21:05):
that's well below your knees.
At one point there was aburning where my brother and my
stepsister that lived with mydad had to, like burn their
books and their music andanything that was like secular
that wasn't considered Christian.
That's just a little scenario ofmy background, you guys, and
(21:27):
also this followed intoadulthood for me because I was a
Sunday school teacher when mykids were little.
I ran vacation Bible school atthe church I was at at the time.
I ran the nursery for a whileso people could go worship and I
would help take care of theirchildren in the nursery.
I was all in on this religionthing, okay.
(21:48):
The transition out of that tooka minute.
So if you're there, it's okay,I get it, I totally get it.
So that's the tiniest bit ofhistory.
I got a lot of stories and Igot a lot of things, but you
know, not today.
We don't need to do that today.
So with that in mind, I justwant to tell you my core beliefs
(22:09):
now, here today.
So number one I believe that weare all connected through the
oneness.
What is the oneness?
I call it God.
I know some people call itsource, universe, whatever.
I believe it's all the samething.
I think we're all just puttinga word to the same thing, okay,
and I think we're all part ofthe oneness, which, for me,
represents that we all have alittle piece of God inside of us
(22:32):
which connects us all inoneness.
Whether you like the person,don't like the person, you're
related, you're not related.
We are all part of the oneness.
This is my belief, okay, andalong with that, that means that
we are all equal.
So I do not tolerate, as was thecase with the interview today.
I do not tolerate in my worldanymore anyone being
(22:57):
marginalized for any real reason.
This includes racism, lgbtq andguess what?
This also relates to Karen.
You know Karen, the white ladyfrom the Bible Belt who's
judging everybody, and it'soverzealous religion.
(23:19):
It extends to her too.
I believe she has a place and ameaning on this earth, just
like the rest of us.
I believe she is as equal withme as everyone else.
That's not always easy either.
To consider people equal thatare what I would consider not
great people, okay, all right.
However, I do also believe thatonce a person shows you what
(23:42):
path they're on, what they'redoing.
We have the choice, then, toinclude them in our lives or not
.
We're all on separate paths,but I think we can decide whose
paths are running closely withours and who's not.
So, yes, I'm accepting ofeveryone's path, but I am not
accepting of every single one ofthose people being a part of my
(24:05):
life and my path.
Okay, and on top of that, Ifirmly believe that we need to
stay in our own lane, our ownpath.
This is part of the not beingjudgmental, not worrying about
what everybody else is doing.
I think we need to stay in ourlane and make sure that we stay
authentic.
Okay, because I do believe,before we came to earth, we had
(24:29):
a little meeting.
I believe we had a little sitdown Me, god, my angels, my
spirit guides, my past ancestors, whoever's involved in this.
We sat down and made a plan.
I think we made a plan for meto come here and some lessons I
needed to learn and the ways inwhich that may happen.
Free will I get it, which iswhy we can get off the plan we
(24:50):
made, but I believe that God andI had a plan together for this
whole life and we all just needto authentically continue with
the plan if at all possible.
Okay, authenticity for me lookslike being kind, helping others,
(25:10):
giving back, staying true to myown beliefs, because I think
and I've said this before whenwe know better, we do better.
So some people don't know anybetter and I have to just give
them grace and say I don'tbetter, we do better.
So some people don't know anybetter and I have to just give
them grace and say I don't thinkthey know any better.
I hope they learn it, but youknow I'm not going to help them
learn it because that's not mypath.
(25:31):
So when we know better, we dobetter.
And I also believe if you can,you should.
If you can help someone in need, you should.
If you have extra money at theend of the month and someone's
in need, you should.
If you can help someone in need, you should.
If you have extra money at theend of the month and someone's
in need, you should.
You should help.
And that doesn't have to bemonetarily.
If you can help someone, youshould.
Even if it's hey, I'm going tohelp this elderly person get
(25:52):
their groceries in the back oftheir car Doesn't cost any money
.
You can do this, you guys.
So this is part of my corebelief system.
I also believe in past lives,and this is a tricky one for
some people, because I told youmy background.
This was not part of how I wasraised past lives.
You do the best you can in thislife and then you go to heaven
(26:16):
and you just frolic aroundhappily forever, or you don't do
what you were trained and yougo roast in the depths of hell.
We'll get to that in a minute.
But I do believe in past lives.
I believe I personally, andmost people, have had multiple
lives.
I don't even think they're allhere on earth.
Okay, I think we have so many.
(26:38):
There's so many things outthere that we don't know
purposefully, because I believethat our experience on earth was
meant for us to forget all thethings you know about the
oneness and God's love andwhat's going on on the other
side, because we wouldn't learnlessons if we knew all of that.
We wouldn't roll through thislife the same way.
(27:01):
This is my belief.
I'm just telling everybodywhere I'm at.
I consider myself spiritual, notreligious.
What does that mean?
Because I've been religious inmy life already.
So let me just tell you thedefinition of spirituality.
Spirituality generally refersto a person and an
(27:22):
individualized quest for meaning, purpose and connection to
something greater than oneself.
It often emphasizes personalexperiences and inner
transformation.
Versus the definition ofreligion, religion typically
involves organized systems ofbeliefs, practices and rituals
centered around the worship of ahigher power or deity, often
(27:44):
have established doctrines,sacred texts and formal
institutions.
So, for me, spirituality allowsme to incorporate from various
philosophies, traditions,practices, while maintaining a
fully spiritual outlook,maintaining a fully spiritual
outlook.
This approach allows for aunique perspective for me that
doesn't really fit within aparticular religious framework,
(28:08):
because there's just I'm noteven going to get into it, but
there are so many things that Iwas raised in Christianity
believing that just don't holdtrue for me anymore, and also
other religions that I'velearned about.
There are things that don'thold true for me there either.
I haven't never found onereligion that was like all of it
rang true for me, and so, forme, my path is spirituality, and
(28:30):
that doesn't mean that I'mwearing all black, doing satanic
rituals with a bunch of upsidedown crosses in my house.
This isn't a thing, you guys,that is not spirituality.
Okay, that's like Satanism orsomething I don't know, that's
its own kind of religion, so I'mnot.
I'm not participating, you guys?
Okay, so let me just tell youwhat I believe.
(28:51):
I believe that I can directlyconnect with God, angels, spirit
guides, my past loved ones, ourancestors and the ascended
masters, which include, for me,jesus, or, as he's called in
(29:12):
ancient texts, yeshua.
We came up with this wholeJesus thing.
So I've got episodes coming,because I'm no theologian, I
don't have degrees in this, Ihaven't heavily researched every
religion, all this but I havepeople coming.
They're going to help us sortthis out.
But for me now, in my currentjourney, I feel closer and more
(29:37):
individually connected with God,jesus, angels, etc.
Much more than I ever have beenwhen I was practicing religion.
Okay, let me just quickly hitthis Jesus thing, because I know
this is a little bit of pointof contention for people.
I think Jesus is amazing.
(30:00):
People.
I think Jesus is amazing.
I believe that he and God had aplan for his life here on earth
, a big plan.
I think he was sent here toteach us some really amazing
things, to be more in thatChrist-like consciousness.
That's why he was here.
I think we have misinterpreteda few things.
He was here.
I think we have misinterpreteda few things.
We're human.
(30:21):
Mistakes happen and of course,they happened in this realm too,
so I'm going to leave it atthat.
He's amazing.
Do I still celebrate Christmas,easter and all that?
Of course I do, because Ibelieve Jesus is totally worth
celebrating as many times a yearas you want to.
(30:42):
I also think there's otherascended masters and things that
deserve to be celebrated, alsoBecause I believe that all
religions head in the samedirection.
I think we all head back to theoneness.
We all head back to God's love.
I think most religions got alot of things right, and I also
(31:03):
think they got a lot of thingswrong If we'd stop all arguing
about it.
We're all on the same page.
We're all in the oneness.
We're all connected to God.
Also, do I believe in hell?
I do not believe in hellanymore.
I think it's a scary way forreligious leaders and the people
(31:25):
who decided what made it intothe sacred text, et cetera,
decided to tell us, to train usto put fear in us.
Now, with that said, do I thinkthat we all frolic around in the
same place when we get to theother side?
Do I think Jeffrey Dahmer and Iaround in the same place when
we get to the other side.
Do I think Jeffrey Dahmer and Iare going to meet up and chill
together?
No, I don't, because I believewe ascend.
(31:49):
We're supposed to be learninglessons and ascending in each
lifetime.
I'm hoping that through thislifetime I'm ascending a little
bit higher, a little bit closerto God, a little bit closer to
that whole Jesus level.
I'm nowhere near there, but Ibelieve we're ascending to that
point.
So me and the serial killersaren't going to be hanging out
(32:09):
on the other side becausethey've got a different path
that's between them and God andtheir spirit team of how to do
better next time and to learnthe lessons and ascend.
This is what I believe we'reslowly trying to do better next
time and to learn the lessonsand ascend.
This is what I believe we'reslowly trying to do better, to
get closer to what God'sintended for us.
This is where I'm at with it,you guys.
So I don't believe anyone'sgoing to burn in the depths of
(32:32):
hell.
I mean, it took a while to wrapmy brain around this.
Okay, this isn't a oh.
Okay, jen, we're on board too.
I get it Like.
This is a process.
This is a real big process, butfor me this is where I
currently am.
I don't believe there's a hellthat you just roast in forever.
I believe God is love, purelove, and he only wants us to
(32:55):
get better, learn the lessons,ascend higher.
I do not identify with aspecific religion.
I consider myself spiritual,but I also have core beliefs
from different religions.
Okay, so I'll just say this onemore time, and I've said it on
the podcast before One of thereally great things about this
(33:17):
spiritual journey for me andcoming to a lot of these
realizations and truths, is thefact that I do not fear death at
all At all.
Does that mean I'm prepared todie?
I mean I'm not ready to dietoday.
I got a lot of things to do.
I'm not done here and I knowthat, but eventually I will be.
We all will be right.
(33:37):
We're not immortal here and Idon't think I'd want to be.
Who wants to hang out in thislife forever?
Come on, guys Like people thatare freezing themselves.
I want to live forever, findthe fountain of youth.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
I think that once in thislifetime is enough, and then I
think God and I maybe could comeup with another plan.
Okay, this is where I'm goingwith it.
(33:58):
So I don't want to die today,but I'm very, very excited about
it to happen someday.
I get jealous.
This is weird.
I get jealous sometimes hearingpeople's near-death experience
stories because I'm like, damnit, that sounds amazing.
(34:19):
I want to feel that I want toknow those things, which sounds
stupid because, oh, you want toalmost die, jen.
No, I don't, I really don't.
But I cannot wait to get backto the other side and, god's
love, meet up with all of mydeceased loved ones, chill out
with God again, have some Jesustime.
(34:40):
One of my favorite songs hasalways been a Christian song.
I can only imagine I still lovethis song, regardless of my
whole spiritual journey, because, listen, me and Yeshua, me and
Jesus we're tight and I can'twait to chill with him again.
Right, I can't wait to meetface-to-face with my spirit
guides, to be fully connectedwith my higher self, to know all
(35:00):
the things and to kind of likeplan my next plan.
I don't know, I'm a planner, Ican't wait.
So I have zero fear aboutcrossing over to the other side.
And, just as a shout out toeverybody, I like talking to you
on the podcast.
I like talking to people inperson and when I cross back
over to the other side, hit meup Seriously.
(35:21):
Go find you a legit psychicmedium.
Give me a little shout out,I'll come.
I got things to say.
I'm sure I still have things tosay.
I'll help you out.
I'm ready to help people outfrom the other side, no problemo
.
So reach out to me.
There you go.
Yeah, I'm not trying to getmorbid here, because this is a
honestly death is we should becelebrating it a little bit more
(35:42):
.
And I know it doesn't feel likewhen we lose a loved one.
I know that I've been there.
It's painful, it's painful, butthis spiritual journey has put
me in a place where I'm likethey're okay, they're more than
okay, they're way better than Iam, and I'm going to get back
with them.
I'm certainly going to reunitewith them again and again.
(36:02):
This goes back to the reason Idon't believe anyone's in hell.
I think we're going to reunitewith everybody that we need to
reunite with, and I don't thinkthat because you had sex before
marriage, you're going to burnin hell.
And I don't think that becauseyou ate a piece of bacon, for
some religions you go.
You know, god frowns upon thatand casts you into hell.
(36:24):
I don't think if you die afteryou eat a ham sandwich, you're
burning in the depths of hell.
I just can't get on board withall of that, you guys.
If you really think from anopen mind about some of these
the religious doctrine and allof the different religions
you're like what, what are yousaying?
That doesn't make sense and Idon't think it's our place to
(36:46):
judge any of that.
And I also come from a placewhere I may not be right about
everything.
I just told you guys, that'spart of the open mind learning
and growing.
I might not be right, duh, I'mprobably not right and I'm not
going to figure that out till Iget back over to the other side,
but this journey is bringing towhat I know in my body, mind
and spirit feel like the truthsof my lifetime, of this lifetime
(37:10):
.
Okay, I'm not perfect, I'm farfrom perfect, but I'm trying.
That's all we have to do, youguys, is be authentic to what we
were supposed to do in thislifetime and try to do better.
Try to do better, you guys.
So I've gone on a tangent withyou guys here today, but I
wanted to get this all out of mysystem, because this woman
(37:33):
threw me through a loop, thisguest.
I'm throwing this out, thiswhole little tangent and this
whole little thing, so you guyshave something to listen to and
it just felt right to do this.
I mean, honestly, I would haverather not dropped an episode at
all before I dropped any of herlittle gems of wisdom, so this
(37:53):
felt like a good replacement, Idon't know.
Thank you for sticking with me,thank you for letting Jen go on
a little tangent, and I hopethis clears up for people out
there a little bit of where I'mat in my journey right now.
You don't have to be in the sameplace as I am, but if we can
understand each other a littlebetter and if we go through this
life with an open heart and anopen mind, we stay in our lane,
(38:16):
we refrain from so much judgment.
We let people do their thingthat they plant between them and
God and we do our thing that weplant between us and God, or
source or whatever you're goingwith.
Just be authentic and do yourthing, guys, and you will have
accomplished your purpose inthis life, which I believe is
(38:37):
authenticity to its fullest andjust doing the plan that you are
supposed to be doing, not whatyour neighbor's doing, not what
your friend's doing, not whatyour spouse is doing your
authentic thing.
Okay, that's it, my tangent'sover.
Thanks for sticking with methrough this whole little thing
(38:58):
and I hope I gave you somethingto think about.
I have more valid good guestscoming.
You guys, don't you worry, wegot a lot coming up, a lot of
cool stuff coming up, so staywith me and I'll see you soon.
Listen, I know your time isvaluable and right now I'm
feeling super grateful andtotally humbled that you chose
(39:21):
to hang out with me today.
If this podcast resonates withyou, could you do me a solid and
hit that subscribe or followbutton?
That's going to help you outbecause you're never going to
miss an episode, and it helps meout because you're never going
to miss an episode.
And if you have like 30 secondsmore, could you leave a
five-star rating and maybe leavea kick-ass review.
(39:42):
Thank you so much and I can'twait to continue our journey on
the next episode.
Oh, and I can't forget the fineprint.
You know the legal jargon thispodcast is presented solely for
educational and entertainmentpurposes.
We're just two friends on thisjourney together, and this
podcast is not intended as asubstitute for the advice of a
(40:04):
physician, professional coach,psychotherapist or any other
qualified professional.
You get it.
See you next time.
Hey friend, welcome to the halfway to dead podcast.
I'm your host, jen Lovell.
Listen, you and I have reachedthat age where we are done with
the bullshit.
We know that midlife is ourchance to flip the script and
experience life on our own terms.
It's time to reconnect with ourhigher selves and reclaim our
inner peace.
Are you ready with an openheart and an open mind?
(00:26):
Awesome, you're in the rightplace.
Hop in and ride shotgun with meon this midlife spiritual
journey.
Hey, hey, friends, jen coming toyou here and guess what, we're
unexpectedly riding solotogether today.
And why do I say unexpectedly?
(00:48):
Because, for the first time,good old J-Lo Jen here had to
stop an interview, kick my guessto the curb and it was a no.
I'm sorry, I don't know howelse to put it, but we're going
to go over this.
I'm going to tell you whathappened, but first I want to
just give you a little insight.
I want to draw back the curtainon this whole podcast thing and
(01:10):
tell you a couple of things togive you a little background
before I tell you what went downtoday for me.
Because this is fresh, thishappened today and I was like,
oh hell, no, while this is fresh.
We're going to talk about itFirst of all.
What I want to talk about,though, is I love looking at my
stats.
So I get these little reportsthat show like I don't know who
exactly is listening, but I knowwhere they're located at as far
(01:31):
as country, state, city, thatkind of business.
So my favorite thing when I'mlooking through stats, I don't
really worry a lot about thenumbers, because I'm not up over
here with the goal of goingviral and getting an invite to
the Kardashians house.
Okay, no, that's not the goalhere.
This is a part of my ownspiritual journey and I hope
(01:53):
it's helping you guys out too.
But my exciting thing for me islooking and seeing when new
countries, especially, pop up inthe old charts.
When people are listening.
My numbers are getting higherin New Zealand and Australia, so
I want to give a shout out tomy New Zealand and my Australia
friends.
It's weird how this world works, because I just noticed it
(02:16):
yesterday, but prior to that,early in the week, I just
changed I don't know if you guysknow you can do this, but I
changed my Siri voice.
You know my iPhone Siri, who,like, sometimes does what you
want her to, sometimes doesn't.
Anyway, her voice wasirritating me.
I don't know why, but I wassick of her.
So I changed her voice to myfavorite accent in the world,
(02:36):
which is an Australia NewZealand accent.
So I switched Siri and then Isee that, like, my numbers are
going up in New Zealand andAustralia.
So shout out to you guys.
I love seeing numbers go up andI love when a new country pops
up.
I don't care if there's oneperson listening.
I have some people in SaudiArabia listening.
My top places obviously are US,canada and the UK.
(02:58):
All right, those are my topthree, but I have a lot of other
countries in there, you guys,and it's very exciting.
Now let me give you some behindthe scenes on this whole process
of how I prepare for my guests,just a little background
insight.
So when I tell you whathappened today, you kind of get
it All right.
So I find guests in a fewdifferent ways.
I either know them personally,I know someone that knows them
(03:21):
personally, maybe they'rerecommended by you guys or a
previous guest, and then nowI've been doing this long enough
that people are reaching out tome.
They either reach out to meindividually or I don't know if
you guys know this, but thereare companies out there that you
can hire if you would like tobe a guest on podcasts.
Whether you're an author, amotivational speaker, whatever
(03:44):
you've got going on, whateverbusiness or whatever thing
you're doing.
If you decide you want to dothe rounds and be on different
podcasts, there are thesecompanies you can hire and they
will reach out for you andconnect you with, hopefully,
podcasts that are a match foryour material.
This is how this person came tome.
So typically what happens isthey reach out in email and they
(04:05):
send the person's links andwhat's called a one sheet.
So the one sheet has on ittheir bio, their photo,
suggested topics, suggestedquestions.
You could ask them all thiskind of stuff.
So typically, if I'm going touse a guest, that's and just so
you know.
I don't respond to all of these, no matter how they come to me,
and I really kind of do take itserious who comes on the show.
(04:27):
So, with that said, this personcame to me via a representative
and I got a one sheet and I didsome quick research.
Admittedly, I did not do asdeep of a dive as I normally
would have, but I needed someonefor this particular week and it
looked good on paper.
I was like, yeah, let's do it.
Here's what I usually do.
(04:48):
Whether I'm reaching out tosomeone or they're reaching back
to me to be on the show, Itypically do a vibe check,
whether that's asking otherpeople that know them or I
research them online.
Whatever I do a vibe check, Isee how it feels in my body.
I'll even sometimes meditate orpray on it, like is this person
a fit?
Should I reach out to thisperson?
(05:08):
And before I reach out and sendthem an email or whatever I'm
going to do, I'll take a minuteto do a quick meditation.
Please allow this email to bereceived.
Well, I kind of skipped out onsome of that with this one and
another red flag.
It got rescheduled like threetimes.
She was sick, I was sick, myinternet went out completely one
(05:29):
day.
Just everything was happening.
The universe was saying thisprobably shouldn't happen and I
didn't listen.
And she didn't have a book, sothere was no book to read.
She doesn't have her ownpodcast, so there wasn't a
podcast to listen to.
It was just some online linksto that.
And she seemed like, yeah,we'll find something good and
helpful for me and all myfriends.
That was my plan going into this, Okay, so let me tell you what
(05:49):
happened today to me.
I'm still a little bitflustered about it and I'll just
tell you ahead of time.
After this went down, I felt myvibe seriously drop, okay, and
so I got done with this and Itook a minute.
I had to take a minute, youguys, to really think about the
situation.
So, like, whatever lessons needto be learned were learned.
So I don't do this again.
I had to go outside and do alittle grounding.
(06:11):
I had to chill for a minute, Ihad to think it through, I had
to be pissed off, have a wholeconversation with my dog about
it.
Yeah, I had to work through it.
So I'm recording now because Ijust want to get some of these
thoughts out to you guys,because it sparked some things
for me, this whole experience.
Let me just briefly tell youwhat happened.
So I'm interviewing this personand I'm not going to tell you
(06:32):
her name, I'm not going to giveher any airtime because, frankly
, she doesn't deserve it.
This is my opinion.
Yes, she's allowed to have heropinions and do whatever she
wants, but this is my podcastand I will present who I would
like to present.
So she's, you know, we'retalking, we're going on and on
and I'm not loving the thingsout of her mouth, but I'm like,
(06:53):
no, you know what, there has tobe a reason.
She's on this episode.
We're going to dig in.
I'm going to do my job as ahost here and I'm going to try
and guide this in a betterdirection.
Well, she wasn't takingdirection, guys.
It was this kind of personality.
Okay, she was going to say whatshe wanted to say.
She was very opinionated, veryjudgmental.
She wanted to tell me and youall, my listeners, what we
(07:17):
should be doing, and it didn'tsound like a suggestion either,
and I didn't love it.
So she's talking, talking.
I'm trying to salvage thisthing and refocus her and in my
mind I'm thinking I'm going tohave to edit a lot of this out.
This is going to be a short one.
Whatever, let's just get donewith this, jen.
Well, it's not going anywherethat I want it to go.
(07:40):
So she's still talk, talk,talking.
And while she's still talk,talk, talking.
And while she's talking, I'mdoing the head tilt you know the
head tilt that our dogs do whenwe're talking to them and
they're trying to figure outwhat we're saying and it's
really cute.
You're like, oh, my God, you'reso cute with the head tilt.
Yeah, I know I wasn't lookingcute with my head tilt, but
again, she doesn't read a room,while this woman, because I'm
looking at her like what, whatis happening?
(08:01):
What are you saying?
So I stopped listening.
She's still talking.
I kind of stopped listening togo in internally here.
I usually have my pendulumfairly close to me.
I grab my pendulum and I'mconnecting with my angels, my
spirit guides, all my peeps, andI'm saying what's happening?
What do I need to do?
(08:21):
Is there validity in what she'ssaying?
Do I need to be the one thatneeds to be more open-minded?
Am I the one closed off here?
And I was getting like no, jen,you're not.
This isn't a fit for you andyour podcast.
And so I mean I was even likeshould I end this now?
(08:41):
Should I scrap the whole thing?
And my penchant was like, yeah,you should.
Well, I was still feeling kindof guilty.
I don't take it lightly thatpeople are investing some time
in my podcast, to be here and bea guest and all of these things
.
I really appreciate ittypically.
So I'm still debating aboutthis, but at this point I'm
going.
(09:01):
No, I got to do something hereBecause the things out of her
mouth aren't great and I don'tagree with any of them.
So I remember my recent guest,barbara.
If you haven't listened toBarbara's episode, I think it's
maybe episode 45.
It's within the last coupleepisodes from this one, okay,
and I remember her talking aboutwhat does this feel like in our
(09:24):
body, getting out maybe apocket phrase or two, figuring
out how to take a pause andfigure out how to handle the
situation instead of jumpingstraight into a decision.
I'm learning from all my guests, and my recent ones were more
recent.
Yeah, she was still in my headFirst of all.
How does this feel in my body?
Now she's still talking, youguys, she's right, I don't even
(09:46):
know what she was saying anymorebecause I was tuned out.
So I am like how does this wholeinterview and this person feel
in my body?
And my stomach was in suchtight knot, I mean like TMI.
But I was like I feel like Icould shit my pants right now.
That's how bad my stomach feels.
And so I was like okay, so mybody knows that this is a no,
(10:10):
how do I handle it?
So I say, excuse me, so-and-so,I just need a minute quick
break.
I'll be right back.
I get up.
I don't leave the room, I justget to the other side of the
camera.
Okay, because even though thisis audio for you guys, I'm also
doing video.
I'm face-to-face with my guestswhile I talk, because I don't
(10:30):
want to talk to a black screen.
Okay, so I go behind.
I'm still in the same room.
I have not turned off the videoor the audio.
I'm assuming maybe she thought Idid.
I don't know, but I go aroundand I'm standing and I'm okay.
What do I do?
I'm thinking to myself like howdo I word this?
How do I say this?
I'm again questioning myself.
(10:51):
I'm saying like is it me,though?
Am I being close-minded?
Is there some validity toanything she's saying?
Is there something that someoneout there needs to hear that
she's saying Okay?
So I'm still trying to givethis woman a benefit of the
doubt, but I'm also trying tofigure out how to get out of
this.
How do I respectfully tell herit's a wrap and I'm not using
(11:16):
this episode?
And then I hear this.
So I don't know who she'stalking to Someone in her?
I don't know if she's in heroffice or her home or what.
But she's talking to someoneand I hear the N-word.
You know the N-word.
I'm not going to say it, butyou know it.
She was being racist.
Let's just say that.
So for the record, I don't dothe N-word.
(11:39):
I don't like others to use itaround me.
I never allowed my children tosay it, others to use it around
me, I never allowed my childrento say it.
I don't even like music thatsays it.
And I know, culturally, I guesssome people are allowed to say
it and some people aren't.
It depends what crowd you're in, what your own ethnicity is.
I don't know what the rules areto it, I just know my rule is
it doesn't come out of my mouthand I don't like it to come out
(12:00):
of anyone's mouths around me.
Listen, culturally it was notappropriate for her.
This is a white as snow woman,from what I would only assume is
like from the Bible Belt.
I don't know, because she wasnot spiritual.
She was religious.
So she misrepresented herselfbasically, and I'm thinking did
(12:25):
she even listen to any episodes?
Did she do any research on meor what or what?
Because she would have knownwe're not a fit.
But here she sat and I takeresponsibility.
I should have known she wasn'ta fit.
Anyway, I hear the N-word out ofher mouth and that's it
Anything I was questioning in mymind.
That's done, this was a donedeal.
(12:47):
I went back around, back intomy little podcast chair in front
of the camera and I say did Ijust hear you say the N-word?
And she's what?
Huh.
You know, like she didn't know,I could hear that.
I said did you just say theN-word?
I said, actually, I don't evenneed you to answer that, I know
what I heard and I'm just goingto say right now that you and I
(13:09):
are on different paths and Icertainly wish you well on your
journey, but this interview isover and I'm not going to be
using any of this footage.
And she's trying to.
I don't know.
She thinks this is a discussionabout it, but I said uh-uh, let
me stop you there.
I'm not.
This isn't up for discussion.
(13:29):
This is my podcast and part ofmy journey.
And so this is you and I.
This is a no.
And I clicked the little redhang-up button on my screen and
I was flustered.
You guys, this was a lot for me,because I've never had to do
(13:49):
this before and typically I getalong with most people.
I pride myself on one of mygood attributes in being that I
get along with a lot of people.
I can connect with a lot ofdifferent type of people.
Genuinely it's not an act.
I really can connect with theCEO of a Fortune 500 company and
(14:13):
also, like the homeless womanon the corner living in a tent,
I genuinely have an interest inconnecting with all sorts of
different people.
Okay, I love having open mindand I love hearing things, but
the stuff out of this woman'smouth was not something I could
tolerate and it wasn't somethingmeant for any of you listening.
(14:34):
So it sparked a couple ofthings for me, because here's
the vibe I got from her.
I won't go into all the thingsthat she was saying because I
don't think that they deserveany airtime, but if you can
imagine, I got the vibe likethis.
This happened to me recently too.
So you know the door-to-door Icall them door-to-door religion
(14:54):
salesmen.
You know the ones that show upon your door dressed in their
Sunday best with a handful ofpamphlets.
So this is the vibe she wasgiving me.
I felt like I had a religionsalesman in front of me.
And so, okay, let's let me tellyou about these two that came to
my door, my religion salesman,recently, and they were young, I
mean, you know, fresh out ofSunday school or whatever the
(15:17):
process is.
They were 18 to 20, I'm goingto guess and they come to my
door.
I don't always even answer, butI was like why not?
So I opened the door and theystart their spiel right Like hi,
do you know, do you?
I mean they were, they hit itright out of the box.
It was like do you know Jesuspersonally and all of this
(15:39):
business?
And I said I do.
I said I totally do you guys?
I said I'm actually really,really good with that.
I have a personal relationshipwith God, jesus, all the angels.
I said I'm good, I'm good, howabout you?
I just throw it back.
I like to just throw it back atpeople sometimes how about you,
how are you doing?
(15:59):
And they don't know what to say, they don't know what to do
with me, which I get.
So, anyway, they're spoutingtheir stuff off and they're like
but are you sure, basically,are you sure you're not going to
burn in the depths of hell?
And I said I'm very, very sureI am, I'm very sure that I'm
good.
(16:19):
I'm actually excited to be backin God's love again someday.
So they didn't know what to dowith me.
You guys, this is not I don'tknow.
They hadn't practiced thisscript, I guess.
So I'm just trying to end thisthing because at this point I
got to move on with my day andthis is going nowhere fast.
I'm not inviting them in tochit chat, so I say hey, you
(16:44):
know what?
It seems like you guys are on avery specific path in your life
and that's great.
I hope it's the right one foryou.
I think my, I said I think mypath is very different than
yours.
And I think and here's where Igot a little snarky and I
probably didn't need to say thisin hindsight, but I'm human,
(17:05):
this in hindsight, but I'm human, whatever I said.
So I think that your path isback down my driveway into your
car.
Now they still didn't, andthey're just wide eyed and I was
like I probably didn't need tosay that, did I, jen?
But it was said, and I didn'tknow what to say, and so they're
still looking at me.
I said you know what I feel likeyou guys need closure, and so
would you like me to take yourpamphlet?
And she holds out her pamphletbecause I know this is their
(17:29):
main goal Get the pamphlet inthe hands of the sinners out
there, right?
Let's say this woman today.
So I took the pamphlet, I said,okay, good luck girls, good
luck on your journey, I'm goingto see you later.
And I shut the door.
So I got this vibe from thiswoman again today and I'm like
what is happening out in thelike?
(17:50):
What's going on?
Why?
Why so this?
Along with the fact thatsometimes I have people ask me
I've said before in the podcastI have people ask me like so do
you still feel like it's okay topray to God?
So do you still pray and talkabout Jesus?
I don't know what people arethinking Jen's doing over here,
okay.
So this has prompted me to justdo my own little testimonial
(18:14):
here and I just want to leteveryone know what my core
beliefs are.
So if you're going to be afuture guest or if you're a
listener or whatever, I just Ifeel like I need to let
everybody know where I stand onthings.
If you're a follower, if you'vebeen listening to all these,
you probably have a real goodidea what it is.
But I'm just going to throw outmy core beliefs currently, and
(18:36):
I say currently because Ireserve the right to change.
I believe that we all have theright to change and grow and
because I think when we stopdoing that, our journey's done,
we're not learning anything else, and I don't think that's the
point of this lifetime.
I try and give myselfpermission to change my mind,
because I can and so can you.
(18:56):
So let me just run this down foryou real quick.
I'll just tell a brief littlestory.
Little story a little.
I mean I got a million stories,you guys.
But let me just tell you alittle something about my
upbringing.
So I was brought up in theChristian religion.
My parents were divorced sothey each went to separate
churches.
(19:17):
My mom went to like aProtestant church, okay, a UCC,
united Church of Christ.
My dad was a little bit morehardcore with the religion.
He was a pretty strict Nazarenefor a while.
Then he just went kind of likeevangelical type of religion.
(19:38):
So every other weekend I wentto a different church because
when I was with my dad,obviously I had to go to his.
When I was with my mom, I hadto go to hers, and this is a
core memory for me, because backin those days I don't know if
they're still doing this at theSunday schools, but you would
get awards for perfectattendance and I never got one
(20:02):
damn reward, even though I wasin Sunday school and church
every Sunday.
Because they were littlesticklers, those Sunday school
teachers, because I would say tothem I'm at Sunday school every
week, I just like I have to goto my dad's next week, I can't
be here, I don't have anycontrol over this and you know,
(20:22):
because we're kids, we don'thave control over our lives,
really.
So they didn't care, theydidn't care.
Anyway, I never got an awardand clearly I'm not over it.
Oh, I am, but like no, it'sstill a core memory for me.
So this is how I was brought up.
(20:42):
My dad was, again more strict.
I did not have to adhere to itas strictly because I lived with
my mom most of the time, so Ididn't really have to adhere
closely to all of it.
And when I say adhere toclosely all of it, there was
stints where it was a sin topaint your nails.
It was a sin to get your earspierced.
It was, you know, simple thingsall the way to you will burn in
the depths of hell.
If you have sex before marriage, you need to have a skirt on
(21:05):
that's well below your knees.
At one point there was aburning where my brother and my
stepsister that lived with mydad had to, like burn their
books and their music andanything that was like secular
that wasn't considered Christian.
That's just a little scenario ofmy background, you guys, and
(21:27):
also this followed intoadulthood for me because I was a
Sunday school teacher when mykids were little.
I ran vacation Bible school atthe church I was at at the time.
I ran the nursery for a whileso people could go worship and I
would help take care of theirchildren in the nursery.
I was all in on this religionthing, okay.
(21:48):
The transition out of that tooka minute.
So if you're there, it's okay,I get it, I totally get it.
So that's the tiniest bit ofhistory.
I got a lot of stories and Igot a lot of things, but you
know, not today.
We don't need to do that today.
So with that in mind, I justwant to tell you my core beliefs
(22:09):
now, here today.
So number one I believe that weare all connected through the
oneness.
What is the oneness?
I call it God.
I know some people call itsource, universe, whatever.
I believe it's all the samething.
I think we're all just puttinga word to the same thing, okay,
and I think we're all part ofthe oneness, which, for me,
represents that we all have alittle piece of God inside of us
(22:32):
which connects us all inoneness.
Whether you like the person,don't like the person, you're
related, you're not related.
We are all part of the oneness.
This is my belief, okay, andalong with that, that means that
we are all equal.
So I do not tolerate, as was thecase with the interview today.
I do not tolerate in my worldanymore anyone being
(22:57):
marginalized for any real reason.
This includes racism, lgbtq andguess what?
This also relates to Karen.
You know Karen, the white ladyfrom the Bible Belt who's
judging everybody, and it'soverzealous religion.
(23:19):
It extends to her too.
I believe she has a place and ameaning on this earth, just
like the rest of us.
I believe she is as equal withme as everyone else.
That's not always easy either.
To consider people equal thatare what I would consider not
great people, okay, all right.
However, I do also believe thatonce a person shows you what
(23:42):
path they're on, what they'redoing.
We have the choice, then, toinclude them in our lives or not
.
We're all on separate paths,but I think we can decide whose
paths are running closely withours and who's not.
So, yes, I'm accepting ofeveryone's path, but I am not
accepting of every single one ofthose people being a part of my
(24:05):
life and my path.
Okay, and on top of that, Ifirmly believe that we need to
stay in our own lane, our ownpath.
This is part of the not beingjudgmental, not worrying about
what everybody else is doing.
I think we need to stay in ourlane and make sure that we stay
authentic.
Okay, because I do believe,before we came to earth, we had
(24:29):
a little meeting.
I believe we had a little sitdown Me, god, my angels, my
spirit guides, my past ancestors, whoever's involved in this.
We sat down and made a plan.
I think we made a plan for meto come here and some lessons I
needed to learn and the ways inwhich that may happen.
Free will I get it, which iswhy we can get off the plan we
(24:50):
made, but I believe that God andI had a plan together for this
whole life and we all just needto authentically continue with
the plan if at all possible.
Okay, authenticity for me lookslike being kind, helping others,
(25:10):
giving back, staying true to myown beliefs, because I think
and I've said this before whenwe know better, we do better.
So some people don't know anybetter and I have to just give
them grace and say I don'tbetter, we do better.
So some people don't know anybetter and I have to just give
them grace and say I don't thinkthey know any better.
I hope they learn it, but youknow I'm not going to help them
learn it because that's not mypath.
(25:31):
So when we know better, we dobetter.
And I also believe if you can,you should.
If you can help someone in need, you should.
If you have extra money at theend of the month and someone's
in need, you should.
If you can help someone in need, you should.
If you have extra money at theend of the month and someone's
in need, you should.
You should help.
And that doesn't have to bemonetarily.
If you can help someone, youshould.
Even if it's hey, I'm going tohelp this elderly person get
(25:52):
their groceries in the back oftheir car Doesn't cost any money
.
You can do this, you guys.
So this is part of my corebelief system.
I also believe in past lives,and this is a tricky one for
some people, because I told youmy background.
This was not part of how I wasraised past lives.
You do the best you can in thislife and then you go to heaven
(26:16):
and you just frolic aroundhappily forever, or you don't do
what you were trained and yougo roast in the depths of hell.
We'll get to that in a minute.
But I do believe in past lives.
I believe I personally, andmost people, have had multiple
lives.
I don't even think they're allhere on earth.
Okay, I think we have so many.
(26:38):
There's so many things outthere that we don't know
purposefully, because I believethat our experience on earth was
meant for us to forget all thethings you know about the
oneness and God's love andwhat's going on on the other
side, because we wouldn't learnlessons if we knew all of that.
We wouldn't roll through thislife the same way.
(27:01):
This is my belief.
I'm just telling everybodywhere I'm at.
I consider myself spiritual, notreligious.
What does that mean?
Because I've been religious inmy life already.
So let me just tell you thedefinition of spirituality.
Spirituality generally refersto a person and an
(27:22):
individualized quest for meaning, purpose and connection to
something greater than oneself.
It often emphasizes personalexperiences and inner
transformation.
Versus the definition ofreligion, religion typically
involves organized systems ofbeliefs, practices and rituals
centered around the worship of ahigher power or deity, often
(27:44):
have established doctrines,sacred texts and formal
institutions.
So, for me, spirituality allowsme to incorporate from various
philosophies, traditions,practices, while maintaining a
fully spiritual outlook,maintaining a fully spiritual
outlook.
This approach allows for aunique perspective for me that
doesn't really fit within aparticular religious framework,
(28:08):
because there's just I'm noteven going to get into it, but
there are so many things that Iwas raised in Christianity
believing that just don't holdtrue for me anymore, and also
other religions that I'velearned about.
There are things that don'thold true for me there either.
I haven't never found onereligion that was like all of it
rang true for me, and so, forme, my path is spirituality, and
(28:30):
that doesn't mean that I'mwearing all black, doing satanic
rituals with a bunch of upsidedown crosses in my house.
This isn't a thing, you guys,that is not spirituality.
Okay, that's like Satanism orsomething I don't know, that's
its own kind of religion, so I'mnot.
I'm not participating, you guys?
Okay, so let me just tell youwhat I believe.
(28:51):
I believe that I can directlyconnect with God, angels, spirit
guides, my past loved ones, ourancestors and the ascended
masters, which include, for me,jesus, or, as he's called in
(29:12):
ancient texts, yeshua.
We came up with this wholeJesus thing.
So I've got episodes coming,because I'm no theologian, I
don't have degrees in this, Ihaven't heavily researched every
religion, all this but I havepeople coming.
They're going to help us sortthis out.
But for me now, in my currentjourney, I feel closer and more
(29:37):
individually connected with God,jesus, angels, etc.
Much more than I ever have beenwhen I was practicing religion.
Okay, let me just quickly hitthis Jesus thing, because I know
this is a little bit of pointof contention for people.
I think Jesus is amazing.
(30:00):
People.
I think Jesus is amazing.
I believe that he and God had aplan for his life here on earth
, a big plan.
I think he was sent here toteach us some really amazing
things, to be more in thatChrist-like consciousness.
That's why he was here.
I think we have misinterpreteda few things.
He was here.
I think we have misinterpreteda few things.
We're human.
(30:21):
Mistakes happen and of course,they happened in this realm too,
so I'm going to leave it atthat.
He's amazing.
Do I still celebrate Christmas,easter and all that?
Of course I do, because Ibelieve Jesus is totally worth
celebrating as many times a yearas you want to.
(30:42):
I also think there's otherascended masters and things that
deserve to be celebrated, alsoBecause I believe that all
religions head in the samedirection.
I think we all head back to theoneness.
We all head back to God's love.
I think most religions got alot of things right, and I also
(31:03):
think they got a lot of thingswrong If we'd stop all arguing
about it.
We're all on the same page.
We're all in the oneness.
We're all connected to God.
Also, do I believe in hell?
I do not believe in hellanymore.
I think it's a scary way forreligious leaders and the people
(31:25):
who decided what made it intothe sacred text, et cetera,
decided to tell us, to train usto put fear in us.
Now, with that said, do I thinkthat we all frolic around in the
same place when we get to theother side?
Do I think Jeffrey Dahmer and Iaround in the same place when
we get to the other side.
Do I think Jeffrey Dahmer and Iare going to meet up and chill
together?
No, I don't, because I believewe ascend.
(31:49):
We're supposed to be learninglessons and ascending in each
lifetime.
I'm hoping that through thislifetime I'm ascending a little
bit higher, a little bit closerto God, a little bit closer to
that whole Jesus level.
I'm nowhere near there, but Ibelieve we're ascending to that
point.
So me and the serial killersaren't going to be hanging out
(32:09):
on the other side becausethey've got a different path
that's between them and God andtheir spirit team of how to do
better next time and to learnthe lessons and ascend.
This is what I believe we'reslowly trying to do better next
time and to learn the lessonsand ascend.
This is what I believe we'reslowly trying to do better, to
get closer to what God'sintended for us.
This is where I'm at with it,you guys.
So I don't believe anyone'sgoing to burn in the depths of
(32:32):
hell.
I mean, it took a while to wrapmy brain around this.
Okay, this isn't a oh.
Okay, jen, we're on board too.
I get it Like.
This is a process.
This is a real big process, butfor me this is where I
currently am.
I don't believe there's a hellthat you just roast in forever.
I believe God is love, purelove, and he only wants us to
(32:55):
get better, learn the lessons,ascend higher.
I do not identify with aspecific religion.
I consider myself spiritual,but I also have core beliefs
from different religions.
Okay, so I'll just say this onemore time, and I've said it on
the podcast before One of thereally great things about this
(33:17):
spiritual journey for me andcoming to a lot of these
realizations and truths, is thefact that I do not fear death at
all At all.
Does that mean I'm prepared todie?
I mean I'm not ready to dietoday.
I got a lot of things to do.
I'm not done here and I knowthat, but eventually I will be.
We all will be right.
(33:37):
We're not immortal here and Idon't think I'd want to be.
Who wants to hang out in thislife forever?
Come on, guys Like people thatare freezing themselves.
I want to live forever, findthe fountain of youth.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
I think that once in thislifetime is enough, and then I
think God and I maybe could comeup with another plan.
Okay, this is where I'm goingwith it.
(33:58):
So I don't want to die today,but I'm very, very excited about
it to happen someday.
I get jealous.
This is weird.
I get jealous sometimes hearingpeople's near-death experience
stories because I'm like, damnit, that sounds amazing.
(34:19):
I want to feel that I want toknow those things, which sounds
stupid because, oh, you want toalmost die, jen.
No, I don't, I really don't.
But I cannot wait to get backto the other side and, god's
love, meet up with all of mydeceased loved ones, chill out
with God again, have some Jesustime.
(34:40):
One of my favorite songs hasalways been a Christian song.
I can only imagine I still lovethis song, regardless of my
whole spiritual journey, because, listen, me and Yeshua, me and
Jesus we're tight and I can'twait to chill with him again.
Right, I can't wait to meetface-to-face with my spirit
guides, to be fully connectedwith my higher self, to know all
(35:00):
the things and to kind of likeplan my next plan.
I don't know, I'm a planner, Ican't wait.
So I have zero fear aboutcrossing over to the other side.
And, just as a shout out toeverybody, I like talking to you
on the podcast.
I like talking to people inperson and when I cross back
over to the other side, hit meup Seriously.
(35:21):
Go find you a legit psychicmedium.
Give me a little shout out,I'll come.
I got things to say.
I'm sure I still have things tosay.
I'll help you out.
I'm ready to help people outfrom the other side, no problemo
.
So reach out to me.
There you go.
Yeah, I'm not trying to getmorbid here, because this is a
honestly death is we should becelebrating it a little bit more
(35:42):
.
And I know it doesn't feel likewhen we lose a loved one.
I know that I've been there.
It's painful, it's painful, butthis spiritual journey has put
me in a place where I'm likethey're okay, they're more than
okay, they're way better than Iam, and I'm going to get back
with them.
I'm certainly going to reunitewith them again and again.
(36:02):
This goes back to the reason Idon't believe anyone's in hell.
I think we're going to reunitewith everybody that we need to
reunite with, and I don't thinkthat because you had sex before
marriage, you're going to burnin hell.
And I don't think that becauseyou ate a piece of bacon, for
some religions you go.
You know, god frowns upon thatand casts you into hell.
(36:24):
I don't think if you die afteryou eat a ham sandwich, you're
burning in the depths of hell.
I just can't get on board withall of that, you guys.
If you really think from anopen mind about some of these
the religious doctrine and allof the different religions
you're like what, what are yousaying?
That doesn't make sense and Idon't think it's our place to
(36:46):
judge any of that.
And I also come from a placewhere I may not be right about
everything.
I just told you guys, that'spart of the open mind learning
and growing.
I might not be right, duh, I'mprobably not right and I'm not
going to figure that out till Iget back over to the other side,
but this journey is bringing towhat I know in my body, mind
and spirit feel like the truthsof my lifetime, of this lifetime
(37:10):
.
Okay, I'm not perfect, I'm farfrom perfect, but I'm trying.
That's all we have to do, youguys, is be authentic to what we
were supposed to do in thislifetime and try to do better.
Try to do better, you guys.
So I've gone on a tangent withyou guys here today, but I
wanted to get this all out of mysystem, because this woman
(37:33):
threw me through a loop, thisguest.
I'm throwing this out, thiswhole little tangent and this
whole little thing, so you guyshave something to listen to and
it just felt right to do this.
I mean, honestly, I would haverather not dropped an episode at
all before I dropped any of herlittle gems of wisdom, so this
(37:53):
felt like a good replacement, Idon't know.
Thank you for sticking with me,thank you for letting Jen go on
a little tangent, and I hopethis clears up for people out
there a little bit of where I'mat in my journey right now.
You don't have to be in the sameplace as I am, but if we can
understand each other a littlebetter and if we go through this
life with an open heart and anopen mind, we stay in our lane,
(38:16):
we refrain from so much judgment.
We let people do their thingthat they plant between them and
God and we do our thing that weplant between us and God, or
source or whatever you're goingwith.
Just be authentic and do yourthing, guys, and you will have
accomplished your purpose inthis life, which I believe is
(38:37):
authenticity to its fullest andjust doing the plan that you are
supposed to be doing, not whatyour neighbor's doing, not what
your friend's doing, not whatyour spouse is doing your
authentic thing.
Okay, that's it, my tangent'sover.
Thanks for sticking with methrough this whole little thing
(38:58):
and I hope I gave you somethingto think about.
I have more valid good guestscoming.
You guys, don't you worry, wegot a lot coming up, a lot of
cool stuff coming up, so staywith me and I'll see you soon.
Listen, I know your time isvaluable and right now I'm
feeling super grateful andtotally humbled that you chose
(39:21):
to hang out with me today.
If this podcast resonates withyou, could you do me a solid and
hit that subscribe or followbutton?
That's going to help you outbecause you're never going to
miss an episode, and it helps meout because you're never going
to miss an episode.
And if you have like 30 secondsmore, could you leave a
five-star rating and maybe leavea kick-ass review.
(39:42):
Thank you so much and I can'twait to continue our journey on
the next episode.
Oh, and I can't forget the fineprint.
You know the legal jargon thispodcast is presented solely for
educational and entertainmentpurposes.
We're just two friends on thisjourney together, and this
podcast is not intended as asubstitute for the advice of a
(40:04):
physician, professional coach,psychotherapist or any other
qualified professional.
You get it.
See you next time.
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