December 16, 2024 • 20 mins
Have you ever felt the urge to completely reinvent yourself after a life-altering betrayal or significant transition, like a divorce? I certainly did. But what I discovered on this journey was the transformative power of small, manageable changes. Through my story, learn how the concept of a "five-degree shift" can subtly alter your life's trajectory, leading to profound and positive outcomes over time. Imagine an airplane slightly adjusting its course to reach a new, better destination. This analogy sheds light on how minor tweaks in our daily habits can eventually lead to significant transformations without the overwhelm of drastic change.
Navigating the emotional aftermath of betrayal is no easy feat, but it's essential for healing. By acknowledging and processing emotions such as hurt, sadness, and anger, we can avoid falling into traps like resentment and self-rejection. I'll share personal anecdotes and practical strategies for overcoming these emotional challenges, from preparing for worst-case scenarios to embracing humility as a tool to combat shame. As we explore the importance of naming and understanding our emotions, you'll gain insights into transforming negative feelings into opportunities for emotional healing and personal growth. Embrace the journey of gradual change and emotional awareness, and discover how these tools can pave the way for a healthier, more fulfilling future.
Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.
Email me: hello@lifecoachjen.com for any comments or questions.
Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends.
My website is www.lifecoachjen.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to my podcast .
Happily, even After.
I'm life coach, jen, I'mpassionate about helping people
recover from betrayal.
I rode the intense emotionalroller coaster and felt stuck
and traumatized for years.
It's the reason I became atrauma-informed, certified life
coach who helps people like younavigate their post-betrayal
world.
I have the tools, processes andknowledge to help you not only
(00:32):
heal from the betrayal, butcreate a healthy future.
Today, we begin to help youlive happily even after.
Hey friends, welcome to today'spodcast.
So today I'm going to talk aboutsomething that I called making
the five degree shift, and Iknow a lot of times in our life,
(00:53):
especially when we experience achange like divorce, or just in
our relationship with kidswhatever change we're
experiencing relationship withkids, whatever change we're
experiencing I think sometimeswe have the urge to make like
180 degree shift in our lives,like we have to change
everything, and I just want youto question that if you're like,
(01:17):
oh my gosh, everything has tochange.
Especially, this is kind of howI remember thinking when I
found out I was getting divorced2018.
My spouse had moved out andthen we were getting back
together and he had, of course,mentioned all these things he
didn't like about me and what hewasn't attracted to.
(01:40):
So then I just went all in onlet me change everything about
myself so I can you can love me,which is ridiculous, by the way
.
We want our spouse to love usfor who we are, and we should
love them for who they are.
They're good and they're badpoints right.
And so if you're findingyourself like I have to change
(02:01):
everything about myself and bedifferent so my spouse can love
me, I just want you to questionthat and that isn't going to be
helpful, right?
Because if you don't want tochange it, there are, for sure,
things like I did change.
I'm going to say I've changed alot from 2018, but those are
(02:23):
all things that I wanted tochange, that I didn't
necessarily like about myself,and as I've healed, I think I've
become just a better version ofmyself and so anyways.
So, when you're thinking aboutmaking a shift, don't feel like
you have to do everything all atonce, and really the small
little changes that you do inyour life every day, like little
(02:46):
habits that you change, youstart doing or stop doing, can
make a really big impact, and Iknow some of you have heard like
the analogy of an airplane, ifthey get like one degree off
course, they eventually arriveat a completely different like
country or like the middle ofthe ocean, right, if that really
(03:06):
happened.
So that's a negative shift,right?
One degree off course canreally put you on a different
path.
Or even if you're on a cruiseship or if they got one degree
off.
But this is I want you to thinkof more a positive like even
one degree five degree shift.
I want you to think of more apositive like even one degree
five degree shift.
(03:27):
It's going to start off lookingreally small and then by one
year, the gap is much wider andso the change is much bigger.
I like to think, maybe ifyou're trying to diet or, you
know, just eat healthier, if youjust start changing one habit
of eating or reducing yourcaloric intake, eventually
(03:51):
you're going to probably loseweight.
It's going to happen slowly, soyou're not going to notice it
right away, but maybe after ayear it's going to be much more
noticeable.
So, as you're thinking aboutdifferent things in your life,
like what's one, two, threethings that you would like to
improve or do different, or stopdoing and consider doing those
(04:14):
things, I want to talk to youtoday about our emotions, okay,
how we can shift differentemotions that we have from
negative maybe to more positive,okay.
So, especially in betrayal, youfeel hurt.
Okay, and I think, in order to,when you do feel hurt, to name
(04:40):
why you do like say it I feelhurt because my husband had an
affair.
Right, named what wound it hurtthe wound of, you feel
abandoned or you feel takenadvantage of or whatever,
however you feel, because whenyou just feel hurt and just
shove it down and don't feelthat feeling, and just shove it
(05:04):
down and don't feel that feeling, you start feeling resentment.
Right, and when you areresentful in your life, it is
going to show up in many otherareas.
Right, you're not going tobuild a connecting relationship
or marriage, it's just it'sgoing to hinder your ability to
(05:26):
shift and heal.
So hurt is one emotion, okay.
Sadness, for sure.
We feel sad for lots of reasonsin our lives, but especially in
betrayal, it's really sad thatthe person that we loved and
(05:49):
were married to chose to stepout of our marriage or talk to
another person or do something.
That it feels really sad.
Right, it's sad when someonedies.
It's sad when our kids makechoices that we didn't raise
them to make.
Right, it's sad.
(06:10):
There's a lot of sad in theworld.
But I think, if you don't feelsad, right, I think,
acknowledging why you're sad,right, maybe because, especially
in betrayal, it's not yourvalue, you're not a person that
would betray someone, so it'sreally sad when someone else
(06:30):
betrays you, so acknowledging it.
But when we don't, we fall intoself-pity, right?
Why is this happening to me?
Like this always happens, I'mthe problem, right?
You just you feel sorry foryourself.
Do you find yourself doing this?
So, just notice, if you findyourself in pity mode, you
(06:53):
probably have layers of sadnessthat you need to heal and you
need to feel, okay, loneliness.
A lot of people are lonely andyou can be lonely in a marriage
and divorced Okay.
So just because you're lonely,it doesn't mean you you might
(07:13):
not have a lot of people aroundyou or you might have a lot of
people.
So, if you fall into loneliness, just acknowledge like, yeah, I
feel lonely, and find ways toreach out to people and to
connect with people instead ofbeing like, well, I don't care,
people don't care about me, andfeeling more apathetic.
That's how you're not making ashift, that's how you're not
(07:36):
feeling your feelings.
Okay, fear.
There's so much fear.
I think fear held me back forso long in creating changes in
my life because I just chosefear and it really I felt stuck
and paralyzed.
(07:57):
So if you feel fear, if youfeel fear, you just need to
practice feeling it and prepare.
I think it's really good tothink of, like, what's the worst
case scenario?
Okay, for me the worst casescenario felt like divorce.
Okay, divorce is my worst casescenario.
(08:19):
Could I handle getting divorced?
And eventually, yes, I got mybrain and my body to get there
right.
But so just realize, whenyou're feeling an emotion, it's
so important to feel it andprocess it and think about it
instead of just ignore it anddownplay it.
Okay, you're not going to beable to make those shifts in
(08:40):
your life for a better life ifyou suppress those feelings.
Anger is a huge one, I think, inbetrayal and men and women,
we're taught anger is bad.
That's bad to feel anger.
It's actually so healthy.
When we feel angry, it'sbecause we actually cared and
loved someone and feel very hurtby them, and so anger can help
(09:06):
us know what we really believein and what we really wanted and
desired, because we feel veryangry because we didn't get it
and if we don't feel those angryfeelings, we can fall into
depression or perfectionismright, we can fall into
depression or perfectionism,right.
(09:26):
A lot of people mask like,instead of feeling angry,
they're going to be perfect ineverything and try to like have
a tight grip on perfectionismand that will be very unhelpful
and not useful, because no one'sperfect right and no one wants
to be around someone that thinksthey are.
And depression if you'refeeling depressed, consider
(09:50):
maybe you have some anger insideof you that just needs to come
out.
Shame, I think, is huge inbetrayal, not only for the
person that is the betrayer, butthe betrayed.
I felt so much shame because Iwas like what's wrong with me?
And I think, if you can moveyourself into having humility,
(10:13):
which is like a quiet confidencewhere you can acknowledge your
flaws, for me it was like, oh, Ijust could focus on my flaws
but realizing of course I haveflaws, of course I'm not a
perfect wife, but I'm also anamazing wife and an amazing
person.
I have good qualities and badqualities and when we don't feel
(10:37):
this, we have a lot of pride.
And if you feel a lot of rage,just know it's coming from the
shame that you haven't felt andmoved through yourself A lot of
self-rejection.
So it's like we feel rejectedby someone, so we're going to
reject ourselves, and that canreally keep us stuck in our
(10:59):
healing process.
I was just thinking of anexample when I was feeling a lot
of shame and just how I got outof it.
And it's a silly example, but Iwas skiing.
This was before I got divorcedand I was just in a bad mood
because my ski pants didn'tbutton.
(11:21):
So it's the first time I wentskiing for that year and so I
was frustrated because I waslike I was feeling fat and that
was a huge trigger for mebecause my spouse was very
particular about how I lookedand my body and I was overweight
(11:42):
, and so I remember just beingreally grumpy and frustrated and
wanting you know him just toski ahead of me and I was like
ruining my day for myself, right.
So I got down to the bottom ofthe hill and I just was like
I've got to just be honest andsay of the hill, and I just was
(12:08):
like I've got to just be honestand say this is why I'm in a bad
mood, because my ski pantsdon't button.
And once I said that out loud,I felt so much better but I had
so much shame inside of me Like,oh my gosh, like everyone's
noticing Of course no one couldsee that my ski pants didn't fit
, but in my mind the entire skislope saw it, and for sure my
spouse did.
(12:29):
He didn't notice, right, but Iwas able to say that.
So I think, acknowledging whenyou are starting to feel shame
about anything, just speaking itout loud, and you don't have to
necessarily speak it to anyone,but just saying it like, oh,
this is the problem and I'mruining my ski day because of
the thoughts in my head and whatI'm thinking about myself, like
(12:52):
all this negative self-talk,right.
And so just speaking that andknowing that I'm not perfect,
yeah, I must have gained alittle bit of weight from last
year, or a lot of weight, Idon't know, but I was able to
say it and then I felt so muchbetter and I had such a better
(13:13):
day skiing because I just toldthe truth and I was able to
accept myself and accept my lowqualities, I guess the things
I've perceived as something badand also know like, okay, I'm
still okay, I'm still a goodperson, even though my pants
(13:35):
don't button up, anyways.
The other one is guilt.
I think, especially if you'rethe betrayer or if you're in a
relationship where infidelityhas happened, I think guilt is
important to feel, but manypeople they don't.
(13:59):
But if someone a healthy wayright, if you want to do the
shift, you're willing to seekforgiveness.
And I think, any time in ourlife if we have done something
that we know is out of alignmentwith ourselves, and we seek to
ask hey, I'm sorry, this happensa lot with my kids, because
(14:21):
those are the people I'minteracting with the most, maybe
my siblings but I'm like hey,I'm really sorry, I didn't
realize that this was happening.
It's because you feel a littlebad about it.
Maybe you feel guilty.
I don't know if that's quitethe emotion.
That's quite the emotion.
But when you don't allowyourself to do this, this is for
(14:46):
sure pride and toxic shame.
And toxic shame is a chronicfeeling of unworthiness,
self-loathing, debilitatingconsequences.
So do you find yourself feelingtoxic shame or pride?
If you do, you're not going tobe able to make those shifts
right.
You need to go like how can Iask for forgiveness or be
(15:11):
forgiven?
And the last one I thought wasso interesting was gladness or
joyfulness was gladness orjoyfulness.
Because when you can feel joyand that is that you can
experience life, the richness oflife A lot of times when you
(15:31):
have all these negative emotionsand you're suppressing them,
you can't feel those positiveemotions.
But so many people, what theycall joy or gladness is through
entertainment or sensationalism,so they're using, they can only
feel joy when they're at aconcert or they're playing video
games or looking at porn or themillion other things that you
(15:57):
could be doing on your phone,right, instagram, facebook.
That's the only time that theycan feel a little joy.
So I want to challenge you thatfinding joy in the little
things of life you're justgrateful for, you know you go
outside and you have a warm carI was really grateful for that
(16:17):
today because it's cold here butfinding joy in things that
aren't necessarily planned oryou know you're not getting on
your phone or having to pay toget it right Just finding joy in
the little things, in that youhave food and clothes or
(16:40):
whatever right, instead of youhave to always be entertained.
So I just think, as you'reshifting, wanting to make some
changes in your life, reallyfocus on your emotions and how
those can really keep you stuckor really create the life that
(17:00):
you want.
Because so many people, we justsuppress our feelings, we avoid
them, we stuff them down, andthat will not give you the life
that you want.
That's not going to give youthe five degree shift or the one
degree shift to change andcreate the life you want,
because what we don't feel, wecannot heal.
(17:21):
And so notice what emotions youfeel stuck in and what they're
causing you to do.
What are your impairments?
Are you feeling resentful,apathy, self-pity, depressed?
And if you are, then reconsiderand decide like, like, oh,
maybe I need to work on that,maybe I need to start feeling
(17:44):
that emotion more or find a way,find someone to help me do this
.
I think that's the biggest giftyou can heal that wound,
especially a betrayal, and tolive a fulfilled, joyful life.
(18:08):
I hope this was helpful.
Thank you so much for listening.
I would love to help you learnto process your emotions.
So just know I offer a freecall.
You can go to my websitewebsite lifecoachjencom, and on
the page that says privatecoaching, you can find a button
(18:29):
and push that and schedule acall and we can discuss.
And it's free and I can helpyou in that call and decide if
we want to work together.
Thanks so much for listening.
Please like and review and Iwill talk to you next week.
If you want to learn how tolive happily even after, sign up
for my email at.
(18:50):
Hello at lifecoachjen with onen dot com.
Follow me on Instagram andFacebook at happily even after
coach.
Let's work together to createyour happily even after.
Welcome to my podcast .
Happily, even After.
I'm life coach, jen, I'mpassionate about helping people
recover from betrayal.
I rode the intense emotionalroller coaster and felt stuck
and traumatized for years.
It's the reason I became atrauma-informed, certified life
coach who helps people like younavigate their post-betrayal
world.
I have the tools, processes andknowledge to help you not only
(00:32):
heal from the betrayal, butcreate a healthy future.
Today, we begin to help youlive happily even after.
Hey friends, welcome to today'spodcast.
So today I'm going to talk aboutsomething that I called making
the five degree shift, and Iknow a lot of times in our life,
(00:53):
especially when we experience achange like divorce, or just in
our relationship with kidswhatever change we're
experiencing relationship withkids, whatever change we're
experiencing I think sometimeswe have the urge to make like
180 degree shift in our lives,like we have to change
everything, and I just want youto question that if you're like,
(01:17):
oh my gosh, everything has tochange.
Especially, this is kind of howI remember thinking when I
found out I was getting divorced2018.
My spouse had moved out andthen we were getting back
together and he had, of course,mentioned all these things he
didn't like about me and what hewasn't attracted to.
(01:40):
So then I just went all in onlet me change everything about
myself so I can you can love me,which is ridiculous, by the way
.
We want our spouse to love usfor who we are, and we should
love them for who they are.
They're good and they're badpoints right.
And so if you're findingyourself like I have to change
(02:01):
everything about myself and bedifferent so my spouse can love
me, I just want you to questionthat and that isn't going to be
helpful, right?
Because if you don't want tochange it, there are, for sure,
things like I did change.
I'm going to say I've changed alot from 2018, but those are
(02:23):
all things that I wanted tochange, that I didn't
necessarily like about myself,and as I've healed, I think I've
become just a better version ofmyself and so anyways.
So, when you're thinking aboutmaking a shift, don't feel like
you have to do everything all atonce, and really the small
little changes that you do inyour life every day, like little
(02:46):
habits that you change, youstart doing or stop doing, can
make a really big impact, and Iknow some of you have heard like
the analogy of an airplane, ifthey get like one degree off
course, they eventually arriveat a completely different like
country or like the middle ofthe ocean, right, if that really
(03:06):
happened.
So that's a negative shift,right?
One degree off course canreally put you on a different
path.
Or even if you're on a cruiseship or if they got one degree
off.
But this is I want you to thinkof more a positive like even
one degree five degree shift.
I want you to think of more apositive like even one degree
five degree shift.
(03:27):
It's going to start off lookingreally small and then by one
year, the gap is much wider andso the change is much bigger.
I like to think, maybe ifyou're trying to diet or, you
know, just eat healthier, if youjust start changing one habit
of eating or reducing yourcaloric intake, eventually
(03:51):
you're going to probably loseweight.
It's going to happen slowly, soyou're not going to notice it
right away, but maybe after ayear it's going to be much more
noticeable.
So, as you're thinking aboutdifferent things in your life,
like what's one, two, threethings that you would like to
improve or do different, or stopdoing and consider doing those
(04:14):
things, I want to talk to youtoday about our emotions, okay,
how we can shift differentemotions that we have from
negative maybe to more positive,okay.
So, especially in betrayal, youfeel hurt.
Okay, and I think, in order to,when you do feel hurt, to name
(04:40):
why you do like say it I feelhurt because my husband had an
affair.
Right, named what wound it hurtthe wound of, you feel
abandoned or you feel takenadvantage of or whatever,
however you feel, because whenyou just feel hurt and just
shove it down and don't feelthat feeling, and just shove it
(05:04):
down and don't feel that feeling, you start feeling resentment.
Right, and when you areresentful in your life, it is
going to show up in many otherareas.
Right, you're not going tobuild a connecting relationship
or marriage, it's just it'sgoing to hinder your ability to
(05:26):
shift and heal.
So hurt is one emotion, okay.
Sadness, for sure.
We feel sad for lots of reasonsin our lives, but especially in
betrayal, it's really sad thatthe person that we loved and
(05:49):
were married to chose to stepout of our marriage or talk to
another person or do something.
That it feels really sad.
Right, it's sad when someonedies.
It's sad when our kids makechoices that we didn't raise
them to make.
Right, it's sad.
(06:10):
There's a lot of sad in theworld.
But I think, if you don't feelsad, right, I think,
acknowledging why you're sad,right, maybe because, especially
in betrayal, it's not yourvalue, you're not a person that
would betray someone, so it'sreally sad when someone else
(06:30):
betrays you, so acknowledging it.
But when we don't, we fall intoself-pity, right?
Why is this happening to me?
Like this always happens, I'mthe problem, right?
You just you feel sorry foryourself.
Do you find yourself doing this?
So, just notice, if you findyourself in pity mode, you
(06:53):
probably have layers of sadnessthat you need to heal and you
need to feel, okay, loneliness.
A lot of people are lonely andyou can be lonely in a marriage
and divorced Okay.
So just because you're lonely,it doesn't mean you you might
(07:13):
not have a lot of people aroundyou or you might have a lot of
people.
So, if you fall into loneliness, just acknowledge like, yeah, I
feel lonely, and find ways toreach out to people and to
connect with people instead ofbeing like, well, I don't care,
people don't care about me, andfeeling more apathetic.
That's how you're not making ashift, that's how you're not
(07:36):
feeling your feelings.
Okay, fear.
There's so much fear.
I think fear held me back forso long in creating changes in
my life because I just chosefear and it really I felt stuck
and paralyzed.
(07:57):
So if you feel fear, if youfeel fear, you just need to
practice feeling it and prepare.
I think it's really good tothink of, like, what's the worst
case scenario?
Okay, for me the worst casescenario felt like divorce.
Okay, divorce is my worst casescenario.
(08:19):
Could I handle getting divorced?
And eventually, yes, I got mybrain and my body to get there
right.
But so just realize, whenyou're feeling an emotion, it's
so important to feel it andprocess it and think about it
instead of just ignore it anddownplay it.
Okay, you're not going to beable to make those shifts in
(08:40):
your life for a better life ifyou suppress those feelings.
Anger is a huge one, I think, inbetrayal and men and women,
we're taught anger is bad.
That's bad to feel anger.
It's actually so healthy.
When we feel angry, it'sbecause we actually cared and
loved someone and feel very hurtby them, and so anger can help
(09:06):
us know what we really believein and what we really wanted and
desired, because we feel veryangry because we didn't get it
and if we don't feel those angryfeelings, we can fall into
depression or perfectionismright, we can fall into
depression or perfectionism,right.
(09:26):
A lot of people mask like,instead of feeling angry,
they're going to be perfect ineverything and try to like have
a tight grip on perfectionismand that will be very unhelpful
and not useful, because no one'sperfect right and no one wants
to be around someone that thinksthey are.
And depression if you'refeeling depressed, consider
(09:50):
maybe you have some anger insideof you that just needs to come
out.
Shame, I think, is huge inbetrayal, not only for the
person that is the betrayer, butthe betrayed.
I felt so much shame because Iwas like what's wrong with me?
And I think, if you can moveyourself into having humility,
(10:13):
which is like a quiet confidencewhere you can acknowledge your
flaws, for me it was like, oh, Ijust could focus on my flaws
but realizing of course I haveflaws, of course I'm not a
perfect wife, but I'm also anamazing wife and an amazing
person.
I have good qualities and badqualities and when we don't feel
(10:37):
this, we have a lot of pride.
And if you feel a lot of rage,just know it's coming from the
shame that you haven't felt andmoved through yourself A lot of
self-rejection.
So it's like we feel rejectedby someone, so we're going to
reject ourselves, and that canreally keep us stuck in our
(10:59):
healing process.
I was just thinking of anexample when I was feeling a lot
of shame and just how I got outof it.
And it's a silly example, but Iwas skiing.
This was before I got divorcedand I was just in a bad mood
because my ski pants didn'tbutton.
(11:21):
So it's the first time I wentskiing for that year and so I
was frustrated because I waslike I was feeling fat and that
was a huge trigger for mebecause my spouse was very
particular about how I lookedand my body and I was overweight
(11:42):
, and so I remember just beingreally grumpy and frustrated and
wanting you know him just toski ahead of me and I was like
ruining my day for myself, right.
So I got down to the bottom ofthe hill and I just was like
I've got to just be honest andsay of the hill, and I just was
(12:08):
like I've got to just be honestand say this is why I'm in a bad
mood, because my ski pantsdon't button.
And once I said that out loud,I felt so much better but I had
so much shame inside of me Like,oh my gosh, like everyone's
noticing Of course no one couldsee that my ski pants didn't fit
, but in my mind the entire skislope saw it, and for sure my
spouse did.
(12:29):
He didn't notice, right, but Iwas able to say that.
So I think, acknowledging whenyou are starting to feel shame
about anything, just speaking itout loud, and you don't have to
necessarily speak it to anyone,but just saying it like, oh,
this is the problem and I'mruining my ski day because of
the thoughts in my head and whatI'm thinking about myself, like
(12:52):
all this negative self-talk,right.
And so just speaking that andknowing that I'm not perfect,
yeah, I must have gained alittle bit of weight from last
year, or a lot of weight, Idon't know, but I was able to
say it and then I felt so muchbetter and I had such a better
(13:13):
day skiing because I just toldthe truth and I was able to
accept myself and accept my lowqualities, I guess the things
I've perceived as something badand also know like, okay, I'm
still okay, I'm still a goodperson, even though my pants
(13:35):
don't button up, anyways.
The other one is guilt.
I think, especially if you'rethe betrayer or if you're in a
relationship where infidelityhas happened, I think guilt is
important to feel, but manypeople they don't.
(13:59):
But if someone a healthy wayright, if you want to do the
shift, you're willing to seekforgiveness.
And I think, any time in ourlife if we have done something
that we know is out of alignmentwith ourselves, and we seek to
ask hey, I'm sorry, this happensa lot with my kids, because
(14:21):
those are the people I'minteracting with the most, maybe
my siblings but I'm like hey,I'm really sorry, I didn't
realize that this was happening.
It's because you feel a littlebad about it.
Maybe you feel guilty.
I don't know if that's quitethe emotion.
That's quite the emotion.
But when you don't allowyourself to do this, this is for
(14:46):
sure pride and toxic shame.
And toxic shame is a chronicfeeling of unworthiness,
self-loathing, debilitatingconsequences.
So do you find yourself feelingtoxic shame or pride?
If you do, you're not going tobe able to make those shifts
right.
You need to go like how can Iask for forgiveness or be
(15:11):
forgiven?
And the last one I thought wasso interesting was gladness or
joyfulness was gladness orjoyfulness.
Because when you can feel joyand that is that you can
experience life, the richness oflife A lot of times when you
(15:31):
have all these negative emotionsand you're suppressing them,
you can't feel those positiveemotions.
But so many people, what theycall joy or gladness is through
entertainment or sensationalism,so they're using, they can only
feel joy when they're at aconcert or they're playing video
games or looking at porn or themillion other things that you
(15:57):
could be doing on your phone,right, instagram, facebook.
That's the only time that theycan feel a little joy.
So I want to challenge you thatfinding joy in the little
things of life you're justgrateful for, you know you go
outside and you have a warm carI was really grateful for that
(16:17):
today because it's cold here butfinding joy in things that
aren't necessarily planned oryou know you're not getting on
your phone or having to pay toget it right Just finding joy in
the little things, in that youhave food and clothes or
(16:40):
whatever right, instead of youhave to always be entertained.
So I just think, as you'reshifting, wanting to make some
changes in your life, reallyfocus on your emotions and how
those can really keep you stuckor really create the life that
(17:00):
you want.
Because so many people, we justsuppress our feelings, we avoid
them, we stuff them down, andthat will not give you the life
that you want.
That's not going to give youthe five degree shift or the one
degree shift to change andcreate the life you want,
because what we don't feel, wecannot heal.
(17:21):
And so notice what emotions youfeel stuck in and what they're
causing you to do.
What are your impairments?
Are you feeling resentful,apathy, self-pity, depressed?
And if you are, then reconsiderand decide like, like, oh,
maybe I need to work on that,maybe I need to start feeling
(17:44):
that emotion more or find a way,find someone to help me do this
.
I think that's the biggest giftyou can heal that wound,
especially a betrayal, and tolive a fulfilled, joyful life.
(18:08):
I hope this was helpful.
Thank you so much for listening.
I would love to help you learnto process your emotions.
So just know I offer a freecall.
You can go to my websitewebsite lifecoachjencom, and on
the page that says privatecoaching, you can find a button
(18:29):
and push that and schedule acall and we can discuss.
And it's free and I can helpyou in that call and decide if
we want to work together.
Thanks so much for listening.
Please like and review and Iwill talk to you next week.
If you want to learn how tolive happily even after, sign up
for my email at.
(18:50):
Hello at lifecoachjen with onen dot com.
Follow me on Instagram andFacebook at happily even after
coach.
Let's work together to createyour happily even after.
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