April 23, 2025 • 22 mins
When life throws us into chaos through major transitions, how do we find our way back to ourselves? That's the question at the heart of this deeply personal episode where I open up about my recent experiences navigating multiple upheavals - moving from Kentucky to San Antonio and then immediately jumping into a temporary duty assignment.
Through this whirlwind of change, I discovered something profound about stability: it's not about trying to recreate your old normal in new circumstances. It's about identifying the sacred habits that anchor your identity regardless of where you are or what's happening around you. For me, this meant stripping everything back to just three core practices: physical exercise for mental clarity, writing for creative nourishment, and reading as my escape hatch from stress.
The journey wasn't straightforward. It required intentional self-reflection, kindness toward myself, and consistently quieting that counterproductive inner voice that wanted me to give up. I share the uncomfortable truth of how it took a full week of feeling low before I could motivate myself to restart these habits, and how I had to be both gentle and firm with myself to maintain them.
Whether you're in military life facing PCS moves, or navigating any major life transition, this episode offers practical wisdom for rebuilding your sense of self one sacred habit at a time. Stability isn't a fixed destination we reach once and for all - it's something we actively cultivate day by day, especially during seasons of change. What habits anchor you when everything else is in flux?
If you’re enjoying these conversations, check out my YouTube channel! Explore Defining Latinx, Latine, Latina, Latino, where I reflect on books by Latine authors and uncover the diversity and strength of our community.
Don’t miss #TheOrdinaryBruja, my serialized story about Marisol, a bruja rediscovering the power of her ancestry and her own worth.
Subscribe now to join the conversation and celebrate our stories together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome back to have a Cup ofJohnny.
This season isn't abouthustling harder.
It's about coming home toyourself, to your voice, to your
breath, to the quiet truth thatyou're still here and you're
not starting over.
You're starting again.
(00:21):
This is your space to reflect,reset and remember who we tell
you.
So pour your cafecito and let'sbegin.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of
have a Cup of Johannie.
I am Joah, your host, and fortoday's episode we are
continuing on this conversationthat we started last Wednesday,
and this is going a little bitmore into how I'm bouncing back,
(00:59):
how I've been able to find meagain through change, through
instability and through turmoiland I'm talking from experience
from PCSing, changing dutystations and then going into a
long TDY and so forth.
But you don't have to be in themilitary to relate to this.
(01:19):
I mean, you can be in acivilian lifestyle or any other
lifestyles and still go throughchanges.
And I talk about these kind ofchanges as like hardcore changes
, because these are upheavalsthat completely change the way
(01:41):
that you're running your lifeand that can be very chaotic.
So I'm talking today about howI was able to get back into some
sort of normal quote-unquoterhythm.
Are you all ready for this?
Of course you are, because whyelse would you have come over
(02:03):
here to listen to me once again,by the way, thank you All right
, let's go.
So let me tell you all thetruth.
Hmm, I had to regroup.
I had to be intentional.
Intentional about going back tothe habits that anchor me,
(02:26):
intentional about going back tothe habits that anchor me, and
when I say intentional, I meanlike I had to talk to myself.
I had to be kind to myself, belike, hey, joah, this is what
we're doing, you know like, kindof, make a contract with myself
and be like.
I know you're feeling crappyright now.
I know that you're feeling verychaotic, like nothing is
working out, like you don't knowyou're left from your right.
(02:48):
But let me tell you what worksfor us.
And it's almost like I had tohave that conversation in my own
head about reminding myselfwhat works for us, bringing
proof of what works for us,going back into my bullet
journal and looking at my habittracker and being intentional
and being like okay, what are mythree no-shits?
(03:10):
I have to do these every day sothat way I can feel sane and I
can feel like myself.
Because, like I said,transitions such as the ones
that I did Manchester Wands thatI did, but I did two, for
(03:31):
that's why it was like sojarring for me it brings a lot
of guilt, a lot of emotionalwhiplash and a lot of that start
stop energy, of trying to getback to normal.
And I had to realize, whilebeing intentional with myself,
that normal wasn't coming backright, because I was looking at
normal as what I was doing inKentucky under that schedule,
(03:52):
under that lifestyle that workedthere and worked with what I
was doing there.
But now I had jumped twice intotwo different things into my
San Antonio assignment and theninto the TDY mission, and
neither one of those really wasrelatable to Kentucky.
So I had to really centermyself to be able to feel some
(04:20):
sort of normalcy within thewhiplash that was going around
me of my environment and openingmy journal.
Right, mind you, I have beenmoving.
So I haven't looked at thisthing for, like I want to say, a
while, a few weeks.
I hadn't looked at it and itwas.
It was the one, what was it?
(04:42):
The last one that I had inthere was like from January.
So I had, like the January waslike not really all the way done
because I started moving andtrying to find a house that has
really had fallen off thewayside.
So I had a lot of squares thatwere marked in January and I was
(05:03):
looking at it.
Right, we already like inFebruary.
At one point I was it was closeto March actually when I finally
cracked this bad boy open and Iwas like, let me look at it Now
, I'm pretty, you know, I, I Igot to a point where I was like
I was sustaining myself, likereally sustain, really
(05:24):
sustaining myself.
Like I was doing like fivehabits, like no joke, before 7am
and I was like, yeah, this isme.
Little did I know then thatthat was, like you know, at the
epitome of my, you know,resiliency level, and here I was
gonna go trawling through likecrap, didn't know it then, but I
(05:49):
was going through it at thatmoment and I was like, oh, shoot
, okay.
So I was doing that was my best.
That was like close to my bestback then.
Here I am not on my best, sowhat does that look like?
So that way I can continue tobe sane even though it's super
chaotic around me.
And, like I said, I looked at myhabits and I was like I decided
(06:10):
that gym is always a must, notjust because of the job that I'm
in, that I have to stay fit.
Oh God, I have to stay fit.
Being in the 40s doesn't makeit any easier.
Being in the 40s doesn't makeit any easier.
And so I have to do that, butnot just a half, because I know
(06:31):
for me, if it's just a half I'mnot going to do it, I'm going to
reject it and I'm going tofight against it every single
way.
So it's also because I want to,because I know that for me is
something about being in motionlifting, pushing, pulling, you
know, doing that kind of likehard stuff.
It sends me out, it tires me tothe point where I'm not
(06:55):
overthinking things and where Iam able to rest my brain and
rest my body.
So it really does help the gym,and I know that.
That's something that I havemeditated a lot about, reasoned
with it and written down aboutit.
So I know that.
So when I say I had to beintentional, these were some of
(07:18):
the discussions I had withmyself.
I know the gym is not only amust because of my job, but it's
a must because of my sanity,because I know what it brings to
the table for my life.
So that is one of my corehabits.
Yo, me being me, I know thatreading and writing are also a
(07:44):
must because writing nourishesme.
I've said this before.
I think I made a video onTikTok today where I said, like
is it even work?
Can I call this work.
Can I call this my second job,me writing and publishing books,
when it's such a joyful thingto do, when it doesn't really
feel like I'm working, it kindof like it gives me a lot.
(08:08):
You know, it's not like workwhere it's like depleting, it's
like work where I'm gettingsomething out of it.
If that explains it well, Ihope so, but that's how it feels
.
So, writing for sure, not justthat, but I also have the
Ordinary Bruja coming out.
So I knew that, with the manymovements I was doing and with
(08:32):
the publishing timeline that Ihave, I didn't want to keep
postponing that.
So, even if it was a sentenceor two every day that I was
going to extrapolate andcreatively write in the mornings
or at night, you know that'swhat I was going to do.
And then, lastly, my last corehabit is reading.
(08:54):
Reading because this this righthere.
And let me tell you somethingit is nothing like being around
military folks where, likeyou're one of a few that
actually reads or enjoys books,and reading because it's, it's
so, uh, I feel like an alienevery single time.
I'm like the one person that'slike where's the library?
(09:17):
Where can I go to the library?
Where's the library around here?
How can I register?
How can I get a library card?
Can I get a temporary librarycard?
What can I do?
You know, and I am that person,you know, wherever I go, that's
one of the first stops I haveto make because it, like it
balances me out.
It sends me to know thatthere's a reservoir, there's a
(09:39):
place where I can find books andI can borrow these books, you
know, in places that I've neverbeen, or that I have to be there
temporarily so I can rechargemyself, kind of like relax and
recharge, and that's what I getfrom reading.
It's kind of like this time out,this sacred time for me, where
(10:02):
I get to step out of my life andstep into a book, into a story,
and that story is either trulyrelatable or is funny, or is
like super unrelatable, whereI'm learning about something new
, you know.
So it's a story that connectsme to something and that's why I
(10:27):
think it just it relaxes me, ittakes me out of my own worries
because I am no longer connectedto those worries While I'm in
this book.
I am connected to somethingcompletely different than my
life, right, and that's what Iget out of it and depending on
the mood, obviously, I'll readdifferent things.
(10:49):
If I'm in a spooky mood, it'sgoing to be a horror or
something like that supernatural.
If I'm feeling a littleromantical, it's going to be
something romantic.
If I'm feeling super stressedout, I'm going to go to my
rom-coms, because that's mygo-to.
You know, when I'm stressed andI just want to take my brain
off for a second and then justread something that is
(11:11):
lighthearted and funny and Iknow it's going to end on a
positive note, where there's notragedy involved, I will read a
rom-com.
So you see what I'm saying.
So those I found through thisvery intentional introspection
were my three core habits that Ijust had to like, grip, grip,
(11:35):
like hardcore grip at themduring this time.
And now, mind you, it took me awhole week to get there and I
remember, because I kind of Itallied it up on my journal I'm
like man, it's been a whole week.
I'm feeling very low-key, upset, kind of like.
I know if I would have gone onto two weeks I would have felt
sad, you know, and my mood wouldhave just gone down from there.
(11:58):
So I knew after a week I had todo something.
And I remember telling one of myroommates.
I was like, if I don't go tothe gym, please go to the gym
with me, because I need thatmotivation.
And it was like you.
You need the motivation becausea lot of people think, like
because my rank, like I have itall figured out.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
I absolutely don't have itfigured out.
(12:19):
I need motivation, just likeeveryone else.
I do need it, you know, butlong and behold me saying that
and me having this humanisticego and pride.
It just took that for me to belike you know what I can help
(12:40):
myself with this.
I don't have to put it on theirshoulders, you know, as a
reminder for them to give to me.
You know I can give this tomyself.
And after I told him that, Iremember the next day I was like
I put on my shoes right away.
I didn't even lounge too long inthe room.
(13:01):
I was like I'm putting on myshoes, I'm putting on my gym
clothes and I'm off.
And then I started doing thatand after the third day I was
like, ah, you know, that's whenyour body kind of like realizes
that oh shoot, you're doingsomething different.
I don't like it.
Let's go back to what we know,which is lounging in the room
(13:22):
and not doing anything right.
So on that third day I had tolike be intentional again and be
a little bit more forceful withmyself Still, kind right,
because I'm not bullying myself,I no longer do that but I had
to be forceful.
I had to be like, hey, rememberwhere you was at three days ago
and you didn't like it, andthen you made this change and
(13:42):
this change is for the better.
Let's stick to this change.
You know, let's see thisthrough.
And once I saw it through for aweek, then the second week
became easier and then the thirdweek became even easier, and
then I got to a point.
And then I got to a point andyou may relate to this if you
(14:23):
have been doing like habittracking and things of that
nature, then you know, like bythe third or the, I know that
once I get to that feeling thatI'm in kind of like a safe zone
per se and I just need tomaintain it and then up the ante
, then I'm safe enough to eitheradd more time at the gym or add
more writing time or morereading time or go to a harder
level at the gym, you knowthings of that nature.
And now I can up the ante,right, because now my body loves
(14:46):
it, my body is used to it, andso forth.
But I mean, that's it.
You know that, that's all that.
I did.
Not five habits, not 10, not awhole, like a whole day's worth
of routine, just three, threesacred habits that I was like I
(15:06):
need this, I need this to feelsane, to feel happy, to feel
whole, even when everything elsehad changed around me.
Something else that I noticedtoo, and I wanted to share that
with you all, is that my corehabits change as well.
If you go back to any one of myepisodes, I discuss my core
(15:31):
habits in another one, and someof these are part of the core
habits in there, but not all ofthem.
I had to let go of some becauseof time, because of resources,
and I just had to keep thosethat help me, but also those
(15:55):
that I am able to do where I amat, those that I am able to do
where I am at.
You see what I'm saying.
So it was some cutting in therethat I had to do, and that it's
okay, and what I'm trying tosay with this it's like, don't
feel weird, don't feel like likea loser, like you're wrong or
(16:17):
anything like that.
Right, if your core habitschange or what you can do when
you go through life changes isdifferent from before, don't do
that, don't feel less thanbecause of that that comes with
change.
That's what I've realized thatthe gist of it is that I am
(16:40):
maintaining something thatbrings me joy, a habit, a
process, a thing that I do thatbrings me joy and brings sanity
into my day.
That's all that I'm doing here,whether that's one thing,
whether that's two things,whether that's three things,
(17:01):
that it is what it is, but it issomething that I can achieve,
right, and that adds to my lifeas opposed to takes away from my
life, and that certainly itdoesn't bring me stress.
You see what I'm saying, andI'm not saying that the stress
of me being whiny and notwanting to do things, that's not
(17:23):
stress.
That's not stress.
That's just me being whiny.
So I'm talking about like I'mnot like jumping through 10
bridges to do something that isso far out of my reach.
You know that's what I'mtalking about when I say stress.
(17:45):
Okay, but think about that.
I want you all to think about,like, what I went through and
how I was able to kind of likeextrapolate these habits and
kind of like tether them to meonce again after being apart
(18:05):
from them for so long.
So what I did here was be veryintentional with what I was
doing internally, coming up witha plan.
But I think the most importantthing was just constantly or
continuously talking to myselfand not allowing the inner
(18:31):
counterproductive voice to get aleg up on my psyche.
And I think that's the mostimportant thing when one is
trying to inhabit a new self ordo something different with
their lives is just tacklingthat inner counterproductive
voice, because I think that'swhat gets most of us I know
(18:53):
that's what got me for the mostpart is that I allowed that
counterproductive voice to drownmy own voice, and I'm making
differentiation here and sayingmy voice is the one that wants
to do the right thing by me andfor me.
I'm not the one that wants to dothings that are
(19:15):
counterproductive to my goalsand what I want to do with my
life.
You see what I'm saying.
So it's good to be able tolisten to the voice,
differentiate between the twoand be able to fight back with
your own kind of productivescript that you do, and with
(19:38):
logic, with reasoning, withproof and all of that, so that
way you can prove to that voicethat you do, and with logic,
with reasoning, with proof andall of that, so that way you can
prove to that voice that you dodeserve better.
You are worthy of better thingsin your life and you will do
those better things by applyingyourself and either getting up
10 minutes earlier or doing 10minutes at the gym or doing 10
(20:02):
crunches or whatever it is right.
But I think that's where itstarts and that's what I was
able to validate going throughthis is that I tackled that
voice and that's when I was ableto get out of that slump per se
and get back into these corehabits.
(20:24):
And, to be brutally honest withyou, I mean I'm still going
through the thick of it rightnow.
I'm still in flux, I'm stilltrying to find my rhythm in this
new place, having just gottenback not too long ago I want to
say like a week and a half agoand trying to maintain these
three things.
It's like that is my goal,before I add to anything, you
(20:48):
know, because even these threethings, now that I'm back in San
Antonio, it's challenging nowbecause now I'm in a new
environment, now I'm with myfamily, so I need to, like, make
a way for these three things inthis environment.
Now, you see, and then once Istabilize them in this
environment, then I am able toadd if I want to, or if I need
(21:12):
to, or just maintain it.
You see what I'm saying, buteverything is in flux per se,
until it's not until things arestable.
But then, as life goes right,life moves, life changes, and so
do we.
You see, stability isn't afixed destination, it's just
(21:33):
something that we buildconstantly, one sacred habit at
a time.
That's what I found out.
Let me know if you relate toany of this.
Thank you so much for listeningto me once again and the have a
Cup of Johnny podcast, and Ican't wait to see you next
(21:54):
Wednesday.
Stay tuned, bye.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
If today's episode spoke to you, share with
somebody who's finding their wayback too, and if you haven't
yet, visit haveacupofjoanniecomfor more stories, blog posts and
the bits that started it all.
Thank you for being here.
Until next time, be soft, bebold and always have a cup of
(22:23):
John.
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome back to have a Cup ofJohnny.
This season isn't abouthustling harder.
It's about coming home toyourself, to your voice, to your
breath, to the quiet truth thatyou're still here and you're
not starting over.
You're starting again.
(00:21):
This is your space to reflect,reset and remember who we tell
you.
So pour your cafecito and let'sbegin.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of
have a Cup of Johannie.
I am Joah, your host, and fortoday's episode we are
continuing on this conversationthat we started last Wednesday,
and this is going a little bitmore into how I'm bouncing back,
(00:59):
how I've been able to find meagain through change, through
instability and through turmoiland I'm talking from experience
from PCSing, changing dutystations and then going into a
long TDY and so forth.
But you don't have to be in themilitary to relate to this.
(01:19):
I mean, you can be in acivilian lifestyle or any other
lifestyles and still go throughchanges.
And I talk about these kind ofchanges as like hardcore changes
, because these are upheavalsthat completely change the way
(01:41):
that you're running your lifeand that can be very chaotic.
So I'm talking today about howI was able to get back into some
sort of normal quote-unquoterhythm.
Are you all ready for this?
Of course you are, because whyelse would you have come over
(02:03):
here to listen to me once again,by the way, thank you All right
, let's go.
So let me tell you all thetruth.
Hmm, I had to regroup.
I had to be intentional.
Intentional about going back tothe habits that anchor me,
(02:26):
intentional about going back tothe habits that anchor me, and
when I say intentional, I meanlike I had to talk to myself.
I had to be kind to myself, belike, hey, joah, this is what
we're doing, you know like, kindof, make a contract with myself
and be like.
I know you're feeling crappyright now.
I know that you're feeling verychaotic, like nothing is
working out, like you don't knowyou're left from your right.
(02:48):
But let me tell you what worksfor us.
And it's almost like I had tohave that conversation in my own
head about reminding myselfwhat works for us, bringing
proof of what works for us,going back into my bullet
journal and looking at my habittracker and being intentional
and being like okay, what are mythree no-shits?
(03:10):
I have to do these every day sothat way I can feel sane and I
can feel like myself.
Because, like I said,transitions such as the ones
that I did Manchester Wands thatI did, but I did two, for
(03:31):
that's why it was like sojarring for me it brings a lot
of guilt, a lot of emotionalwhiplash and a lot of that start
stop energy, of trying to getback to normal.
And I had to realize, whilebeing intentional with myself,
that normal wasn't coming backright, because I was looking at
normal as what I was doing inKentucky under that schedule,
(03:52):
under that lifestyle that workedthere and worked with what I
was doing there.
But now I had jumped twice intotwo different things into my
San Antonio assignment and theninto the TDY mission, and
neither one of those really wasrelatable to Kentucky.
So I had to really centermyself to be able to feel some
(04:20):
sort of normalcy within thewhiplash that was going around
me of my environment and openingmy journal.
Right, mind you, I have beenmoving.
So I haven't looked at thisthing for, like I want to say, a
while, a few weeks.
I hadn't looked at it and itwas.
It was the one, what was it?
(04:42):
The last one that I had inthere was like from January.
So I had, like the January waslike not really all the way done
because I started moving andtrying to find a house that has
really had fallen off thewayside.
So I had a lot of squares thatwere marked in January and I was
(05:03):
looking at it.
Right, we already like inFebruary.
At one point I was it was closeto March actually when I finally
cracked this bad boy open and Iwas like, let me look at it Now
, I'm pretty, you know, I, I Igot to a point where I was like
I was sustaining myself, likereally sustain, really
(05:24):
sustaining myself.
Like I was doing like fivehabits, like no joke, before 7am
and I was like, yeah, this isme.
Little did I know then thatthat was, like you know, at the
epitome of my, you know,resiliency level, and here I was
gonna go trawling through likecrap, didn't know it then, but I
(05:49):
was going through it at thatmoment and I was like, oh, shoot
, okay.
So I was doing that was my best.
That was like close to my bestback then.
Here I am not on my best, sowhat does that look like?
So that way I can continue tobe sane even though it's super
chaotic around me.
And, like I said, I looked at myhabits and I was like I decided
(06:10):
that gym is always a must, notjust because of the job that I'm
in, that I have to stay fit.
Oh God, I have to stay fit.
Being in the 40s doesn't makeit any easier.
Being in the 40s doesn't makeit any easier.
And so I have to do that, butnot just a half, because I know
(06:31):
for me, if it's just a half I'mnot going to do it, I'm going to
reject it and I'm going tofight against it every single
way.
So it's also because I want to,because I know that for me is
something about being in motionlifting, pushing, pulling, you
know, doing that kind of likehard stuff.
It sends me out, it tires me tothe point where I'm not
(06:55):
overthinking things and where Iam able to rest my brain and
rest my body.
So it really does help the gym,and I know that.
That's something that I havemeditated a lot about, reasoned
with it and written down aboutit.
So I know that.
So when I say I had to beintentional, these were some of
(07:18):
the discussions I had withmyself.
I know the gym is not only amust because of my job, but it's
a must because of my sanity,because I know what it brings to
the table for my life.
So that is one of my corehabits.
Yo, me being me, I know thatreading and writing are also a
(07:44):
must because writing nourishesme.
I've said this before.
I think I made a video onTikTok today where I said, like
is it even work?
Can I call this work.
Can I call this my second job,me writing and publishing books,
when it's such a joyful thingto do, when it doesn't really
feel like I'm working, it kindof like it gives me a lot.
(08:08):
You know, it's not like workwhere it's like depleting, it's
like work where I'm gettingsomething out of it.
If that explains it well, Ihope so, but that's how it feels
.
So, writing for sure, not justthat, but I also have the
Ordinary Bruja coming out.
So I knew that, with the manymovements I was doing and with
(08:32):
the publishing timeline that Ihave, I didn't want to keep
postponing that.
So, even if it was a sentenceor two every day that I was
going to extrapolate andcreatively write in the mornings
or at night, you know that'swhat I was going to do.
And then, lastly, my last corehabit is reading.
(08:54):
Reading because this this righthere.
And let me tell you somethingit is nothing like being around
military folks where, likeyou're one of a few that
actually reads or enjoys books,and reading because it's, it's
so, uh, I feel like an alienevery single time.
I'm like the one person that'slike where's the library?
(09:17):
Where can I go to the library?
Where's the library around here?
How can I register?
How can I get a library card?
Can I get a temporary librarycard?
What can I do?
You know, and I am that person,you know, wherever I go, that's
one of the first stops I haveto make because it, like it
balances me out.
It sends me to know thatthere's a reservoir, there's a
(09:39):
place where I can find books andI can borrow these books, you
know, in places that I've neverbeen, or that I have to be there
temporarily so I can rechargemyself, kind of like relax and
recharge, and that's what I getfrom reading.
It's kind of like this time out,this sacred time for me, where
(10:02):
I get to step out of my life andstep into a book, into a story,
and that story is either trulyrelatable or is funny, or is
like super unrelatable, whereI'm learning about something new
, you know.
So it's a story that connectsme to something and that's why I
(10:27):
think it just it relaxes me, ittakes me out of my own worries
because I am no longer connectedto those worries While I'm in
this book.
I am connected to somethingcompletely different than my
life, right, and that's what Iget out of it and depending on
the mood, obviously, I'll readdifferent things.
(10:49):
If I'm in a spooky mood, it'sgoing to be a horror or
something like that supernatural.
If I'm feeling a littleromantical, it's going to be
something romantic.
If I'm feeling super stressedout, I'm going to go to my
rom-coms, because that's mygo-to.
You know, when I'm stressed andI just want to take my brain
off for a second and then justread something that is
(11:11):
lighthearted and funny and Iknow it's going to end on a
positive note, where there's notragedy involved, I will read a
rom-com.
So you see what I'm saying.
So those I found through thisvery intentional introspection
were my three core habits that Ijust had to like, grip, grip,
(11:35):
like hardcore grip at themduring this time.
And now, mind you, it took me awhole week to get there and I
remember, because I kind of Itallied it up on my journal I'm
like man, it's been a whole week.
I'm feeling very low-key, upset, kind of like.
I know if I would have gone onto two weeks I would have felt
sad, you know, and my mood wouldhave just gone down from there.
(11:58):
So I knew after a week I had todo something.
And I remember telling one of myroommates.
I was like, if I don't go tothe gym, please go to the gym
with me, because I need thatmotivation.
And it was like you.
You need the motivation becausea lot of people think, like
because my rank, like I have itall figured out.
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
I absolutely don't have itfigured out.
(12:19):
I need motivation, just likeeveryone else.
I do need it, you know, butlong and behold me saying that
and me having this humanisticego and pride.
It just took that for me to belike you know what I can help
(12:40):
myself with this.
I don't have to put it on theirshoulders, you know, as a
reminder for them to give to me.
You know I can give this tomyself.
And after I told him that, Iremember the next day I was like
I put on my shoes right away.
I didn't even lounge too long inthe room.
(13:01):
I was like I'm putting on myshoes, I'm putting on my gym
clothes and I'm off.
And then I started doing thatand after the third day I was
like, ah, you know, that's whenyour body kind of like realizes
that oh shoot, you're doingsomething different.
I don't like it.
Let's go back to what we know,which is lounging in the room
(13:22):
and not doing anything right.
So on that third day I had tolike be intentional again and be
a little bit more forceful withmyself Still, kind right,
because I'm not bullying myself,I no longer do that but I had
to be forceful.
I had to be like, hey, rememberwhere you was at three days ago
and you didn't like it, andthen you made this change and
(13:42):
this change is for the better.
Let's stick to this change.
You know, let's see thisthrough.
And once I saw it through for aweek, then the second week
became easier and then the thirdweek became even easier, and
then I got to a point.
And then I got to a point andyou may relate to this if you
(14:23):
have been doing like habittracking and things of that
nature, then you know, like bythe third or the, I know that
once I get to that feeling thatI'm in kind of like a safe zone
per se and I just need tomaintain it and then up the ante
, then I'm safe enough to eitheradd more time at the gym or add
more writing time or morereading time or go to a harder
level at the gym, you knowthings of that nature.
And now I can up the ante,right, because now my body loves
(14:46):
it, my body is used to it, andso forth.
But I mean, that's it.
You know that, that's all that.
I did.
Not five habits, not 10, not awhole, like a whole day's worth
of routine, just three, threesacred habits that I was like I
(15:06):
need this, I need this to feelsane, to feel happy, to feel
whole, even when everything elsehad changed around me.
Something else that I noticedtoo, and I wanted to share that
with you all, is that my corehabits change as well.
If you go back to any one of myepisodes, I discuss my core
(15:31):
habits in another one, and someof these are part of the core
habits in there, but not all ofthem.
I had to let go of some becauseof time, because of resources,
and I just had to keep thosethat help me, but also those
(15:55):
that I am able to do where I amat, those that I am able to do
where I am at.
You see what I'm saying.
So it was some cutting in therethat I had to do, and that it's
okay, and what I'm trying tosay with this it's like, don't
feel weird, don't feel like likea loser, like you're wrong or
(16:17):
anything like that.
Right, if your core habitschange or what you can do when
you go through life changes isdifferent from before, don't do
that, don't feel less thanbecause of that that comes with
change.
That's what I've realized thatthe gist of it is that I am
(16:40):
maintaining something thatbrings me joy, a habit, a
process, a thing that I do thatbrings me joy and brings sanity
into my day.
That's all that I'm doing here,whether that's one thing,
whether that's two things,whether that's three things,
(17:01):
that it is what it is, but it issomething that I can achieve,
right, and that adds to my lifeas opposed to takes away from my
life, and that certainly itdoesn't bring me stress.
You see what I'm saying, andI'm not saying that the stress
of me being whiny and notwanting to do things, that's not
(17:23):
stress.
That's not stress.
That's just me being whiny.
So I'm talking about like I'mnot like jumping through 10
bridges to do something that isso far out of my reach.
You know that's what I'mtalking about when I say stress.
(17:45):
Okay, but think about that.
I want you all to think about,like, what I went through and
how I was able to kind of likeextrapolate these habits and
kind of like tether them to meonce again after being apart
(18:05):
from them for so long.
So what I did here was be veryintentional with what I was
doing internally, coming up witha plan.
But I think the most importantthing was just constantly or
continuously talking to myselfand not allowing the inner
(18:31):
counterproductive voice to get aleg up on my psyche.
And I think that's the mostimportant thing when one is
trying to inhabit a new self ordo something different with
their lives is just tacklingthat inner counterproductive
voice, because I think that'swhat gets most of us I know
(18:53):
that's what got me for the mostpart is that I allowed that
counterproductive voice to drownmy own voice, and I'm making
differentiation here and sayingmy voice is the one that wants
to do the right thing by me andfor me.
I'm not the one that wants to dothings that are
(19:15):
counterproductive to my goalsand what I want to do with my
life.
You see what I'm saying.
So it's good to be able tolisten to the voice,
differentiate between the twoand be able to fight back with
your own kind of productivescript that you do, and with
(19:38):
logic, with reasoning, withproof and all of that, so that
way you can prove to that voicethat you do, and with logic,
with reasoning, with proof andall of that, so that way you can
prove to that voice that you dodeserve better.
You are worthy of better thingsin your life and you will do
those better things by applyingyourself and either getting up
10 minutes earlier or doing 10minutes at the gym or doing 10
(20:02):
crunches or whatever it is right.
But I think that's where itstarts and that's what I was
able to validate going throughthis is that I tackled that
voice and that's when I was ableto get out of that slump per se
and get back into these corehabits.
(20:24):
And, to be brutally honest withyou, I mean I'm still going
through the thick of it rightnow.
I'm still in flux, I'm stilltrying to find my rhythm in this
new place, having just gottenback not too long ago I want to
say like a week and a half agoand trying to maintain these
three things.
It's like that is my goal,before I add to anything, you
(20:48):
know, because even these threethings, now that I'm back in San
Antonio, it's challenging nowbecause now I'm in a new
environment, now I'm with myfamily, so I need to, like, make
a way for these three things inthis environment.
Now, you see, and then once Istabilize them in this
environment, then I am able toadd if I want to, or if I need
(21:12):
to, or just maintain it.
You see what I'm saying, buteverything is in flux per se,
until it's not until things arestable.
But then, as life goes right,life moves, life changes, and so
do we.
You see, stability isn't afixed destination, it's just
(21:33):
something that we buildconstantly, one sacred habit at
a time.
That's what I found out.
Let me know if you relate toany of this.
Thank you so much for listeningto me once again and the have a
Cup of Johnny podcast, and Ican't wait to see you next
(21:54):
Wednesday.
Stay tuned, bye.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
If today's episode spoke to you, share with
somebody who's finding their wayback too, and if you haven't
yet, visit haveacupofjoanniecomfor more stories, blog posts and
the bits that started it all.
Thank you for being here.
Until next time, be soft, bebold and always have a cup of
(22:23):
John.
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