Letters to John: Finding Solace and Connection in Grief

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Have you ever found yourself yearning to communicate with a loved one who has passed away? I discovered an unconventional yet transformative way to process grief: writing letters to my departed fur baby, John. In this heartfelt episode of "Have a Cup of Johanny," I share how this simple practice has become a bridge between my world and the cherished memories of my beloved pet. Listen as I recount touching anecdotes and hilarious incidents, like the time John hilariously swiped pizza right from my stepdaughter's fingers—a moment so vivid it continues to bring a smile to my face. These small acts of remembrance have not only allowed me to honor John's life but also provided a sense of peace and continued connection.

Through the art of letter writing, I've found solace in the midst of sorrow and discovered a way to keep the spirit of my furry companion alive in my heart. This episode builds upon previous discussions about meditation and celebrating the lives of our pets by offering a unique perspective on navigating grief. Whether you're a fellow fur parent or someone seeking comfort after a loss, join me on this journey of growth and personal discovery. Together, we'll explore how simple notes capturing everyday moments can help us cherish and celebrate the lives we've loved and lost, providing comfort and healing along the way.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome to this new season ofthe have a cup of johanni
podcast.
So I want to title this newseason that I'm embarking on
with I'm growing, so this isgoing to be the season of growth
and that's what I'm going toshare with you throughout the

(00:20):
season.
So I thank you for coming overhere and sitting with me and I
hope you enjoy.
Hello, everyone, and welcomeback to have a Couple Johnny
podcast.
Today's episode is about apractice that has brought me a
lot of comfort in the midst ofgrief, and this is in addition

(00:43):
to the last episode where wetalked about meditation, and
then the one before that where Italked about how I honor my fur
babies by sharing their storiesand celebrating their lives and
the moments that we sharedtogether.
This one, we're talking aboutwriting letters or notes to the

(01:08):
ones that we've lost.
It's been an unorthodox way toprocess my emotions, but one
that has helped me, and I hopethat this can resonate with some
of you.
Are you ready?
I know you would be All right,let's go.

(01:37):
When I lost my fur babies,particularly John, I realized
that there was so much that Iwanted to say to them.
I'm one of those fur parentsthat talk to their fur babies as
if they can understand.
So if you are one of thosepeople like me, this may work

(02:00):
for you.
I started writing notes to Johnafter he passed away and it
felt like super strange at first, but it's just once again.
For me, the feeling of grief isvery heavy Y me tengo que
desahogar.
I have to undrown myself oneway or another.

(02:23):
And because I like to write, Itend to cope through writing.
So I do journaling, I do thingsof that nature, I write poetry.
I just have to write thingsdown so that way I can cope with
the emotions and then theheaviness of it all.
And while it felt strange atthe beginning, I quickly

(02:47):
realized that it was a way forme to stay connected with him
after he passed.
Yeah, it was weird, but then Ikind of understood what I was
trying to do and why I wastrying to do it.
And I started just by simplycatching myself when I would

(03:07):
think about him.
I remember I think the firstone was like hey, john, today I
saw a dog that looked like youand I cried and it was just like
that, like something you know.
Hey, john, today I went by yourfavorite food at the grocery
store and I thought of you.
It's just those small anecdotesof things that happened in my

(03:33):
life that I share with my pet,who has passed.
That in a way honors them, butin a way also helps me to feel
as if I am still connected tothem and in a way also helps me
to gain a sense of peace Throughthose small notes.

(03:56):
I was staying close to them andover time I found myself writing
more than just those anecdotesand I ended up writing more
about our time together, thequirks that they showed, the

(04:18):
incidents, the funny incidentsthat happened with them.
That happened with them.
For example, I had to writedown how John stole my
stepdaughter's pizza one timebecause she was talking and

(04:38):
talking and talking she's verytalkative and was not paying
attention to the pizzas that shehad and John so short he's,
such a shorty he was I'm sorryhe was such a shorty, but he
could jump and he jumped and hegot that pizza clean off of her
fingers, didn't even touch herfingers, oh God.

(05:00):
And just like boom and justlike boom, and the shock in my
stepdaughter's face was likesomething that I still remember.
And john, nowhere to be seenthe little yellow, yellow
furball just darted out of sightwith that pizza and swallowed

(05:20):
that pizza whole.
Oh god, that peeks a hole, ohGod.
So I had to write that momentdown.
And then I remember, like,after writing that moment down,
you know how, like when youthink about things and then you

(05:41):
go out and you start seeing moreof that.
Well, that's what happened.
I wrote that moment and I wentout I think it was to Marshall's
and I go through the housething I love Marshall's for
house decorations and there's apicture.
It's not a corgi dog, but it isa yellow dog that looks like a

(06:04):
lab dog and and it has a pizzaon its mouth.
And I'm like I looked over andI'm like I called for my husband
and I'm like are you thinkingwhat I'm thinking?
And both of us nodded, you know, because we were both there in
that moment and that waspriceless.

(06:25):
So not only have we lived themoment while John was alive and
that happened, but in that aisle, there in the store, him and I
relived that moment together.
We was able to kind of like talkstory about a loss that we have

(06:47):
in common, right, that beingthat we have in common, which is
John and things like that justmakes the grief feel a whole lot
lighter, because, you know, atthat point, when it came to John
and grieving him, it was stillheavy.
But those things writing thoseanecdotes, writing notes to him,

(07:30):
and then seeing that portraitand buying it and putting it
right here as decoration in myhouse that I can see it it helps
me to feel close to John andwriting these letters have
become a part of my healingprocess and I see myself doing
that with Lentil.
Unfortunately, it's so heavyright now that I'm just trying
to muddle through just myemotions before I can even write
those anecdotes, because Ifound that I got to work on

(07:54):
awareness of my emotions throughmeditation first, when the loss
first happened, and notingthose downs and being okay with
them being there, before I canwrite notes, cheerful notes,
cheerful anecdotes and things ofthat nature, just because I

(08:15):
need to feel sad first.
I need to feel that becausethat's like accepting that the
loss happened, the loss is thereand that's how I felt all day
yesterday, where it's just likefood tasted like cardboard, like
it was on season, but I justwanted to curl up and then just

(08:36):
be sad.
Just be sad and that's okay.
It's okay to have those saddays, and that was yesterday.
Yesterday was my sad day and Iknow for Lento, eventually, a
week, a month from now, I'llwrite those letters, because
writing those notes to thosewe've lost, whether they're pets

(09:01):
or family members or friends,can be incredibly therapeutic,
another way to honor theirmemory and to keep that
connection alive and to allowyourself to feel the emotions
without judgment.
And for me, the notes to Johnwas a way to commune with him

(09:26):
and to process my grief, and itdoesn't take the pain away.
On the same token, I can't doit right after the loss.
I have to give myself time tobe sad before I can write those
notes.
But once I do, it does help meto carry the loss and the grief

(09:47):
a little bit easier.
So if you're listening and youhave someone you lost, I
encourage you to try writing tothem, either write notes or
write letters.
It doesn't have to be formal.
It's really your space, yourwords, to do as you want.
Just let it flow and see whereit takes you.

(10:10):
I know for me it was a reliefand it did help me to cope with
the heaviness of it all.
But grief is so complex people.
Finding ways to stay connectedto the ones we've lost can help
us heal bit by bit, and thankyou for joining me today and

(10:30):
letting me share this tidbitwith you.
I hope you can come back againnext Wednesday or next week and
take care of yourselves, and Iwill see you on the next episode
.
Bye, thank you so much forlistening.

(10:51):
I want to hear from you.
Leave me a comment, do a ratingif you can on the podcast,
share it with somebody you love,but, most importantly, come
back.
See you next time.
Bye.