Mind Your Mask, Mind Your Business

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Five comments in one day—just because I wore a mask.

In this episode, I share a fresh, real-time reflection on what happened when I returned to work after recovering from both COVID and the flu. Spoiler: it wasn’t the illness that hit hardest. It was the unsolicited opinions.

Why does someone else’s choice to take precautions trigger so much discomfort in others? Why do people feel entitled to comment on a boundary that doesn’t involve them?

This episode unpacks resistance, autonomy, and the deep discomfort some folks feel when they see someone making a different choice. It’s not just about masks. It’s about the right to choose what works for you without being ridiculed for it.

🎧 Tune in to explore what happens when you stop shrinking for other people’s comfort, and start standing firm in your own.

📚 And if you’re drawn to stories about self-trust, ancestral power, and the courage to live outside the lines, preorder my novel The Ordinary Bruja at https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/. It’s a magical, haunting tale of reclaiming your power in a world that wants you small.

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If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.

Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself—
👉🏽 Preorder The Ordinary Bruja.

https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/

It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.

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Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome back to have a Cup ofJohnny.
This season isn't abouthustling harder.
It's about coming home toyourself, to your voice, to your
breath, to the quiet truth thatyou're still here and you're
not starting over.
You're starting again.

(00:21):
This is your space to reflect,reset and remember who, to tell
you why.
So pour your cafecito and let'sbegin.
Hello friends, and welcome backto Habacuc of Johnny podcast,
where we talk about the messy,magical process of becoming one

(00:47):
cup at a time.
It's still August, still mybirthday month, and I've been
walking you through the lessonsI've learned at 43.
Today's reflection.
This one is hot up the pressand I'm glad that I'll be
scheduling this one immediatelyafter the first episode of

(01:11):
listening to my body, becauseyou need to hear this.
Let me tell you somethinghappened this week and because
this is like recently.
So it's a very raw lessonslearned.
I got to warn you, it's notpolished, it's not poetic, it's

(01:34):
just very raw and real and it'sabout something as small and as
politicized as wait for it, waitfor it, wait for it, wait for
it.
Wearing a mask.
God damn it.
The title of this episode isMind your Mask and Mind your

(01:56):
Business dude.
Y'all ready for this?
I'm going to take out the dudepart out of the title, just
letting you know let's go.
So picture this, okay, put thevision in your head.

(02:18):
I'm back at work.
I had to take some days offbecause I was recovering not
just from COVID but also the fluand I was highly contagious.
I was still getting fevers andchills and all of that, so I
couldn't come back to work.
So that combo was atrociousZero out of 10.
Do not recommend.
Don't ever want to feel thatagain, and I wouldn't wish that

(02:40):
on anyone either, not even theguy who side-eyed me today when
I walked in wearing my mask.
Because, yes, after coming backto work, after the chills and
the fever stopped, I wore a maskand I had every reason to.
First of all, I'm stillrecovering.
Second of all, I want toprotect others.

(03:02):
I don't know others' medicalconditions right, so I want to
make sure that I protect othersand I also like I don't want to
get re-infected people,especially while my immune
system is recovering and it's inthe fritz.
You know, I just I don't feellike going through that again.
Call me dramatic, you know, butI mean come on now.

(03:26):
I mean my immune system isalready hanging on by a thread
in a peppermint tea, as it isright now, like golly.
But in the span of a few hoursof me coming back to work that
first day with my mask on, I gotlike five comments.
Five no exaggeration there.
Five comments within the spanof a few hours All from men, by

(03:50):
the way.
Okay, don't, please don't comeinto the comments saying like
I'm a man hater or anything likethat.
I'm just stating the facts here.
Okay, all the comments camefrom men and all these comments
were ranging from awkward jokesto sarcastic digs, to why are
you wearing that ridiculousthing?
And like I had to pause.

(04:11):
I thought I was getting prankedfor real.
Like I thought I was gettingpranked and I think that's why I
had to take a pause on thefirst few comments, because I
was like, am I really like beingtalked down to because I chose
to wear a mask?
To me, that was the ridiculousthing of all of this In my mind.

(04:33):
I'm like really Still, aftereverything we've seen, we are
doing this.
We're like dogging out themasks.
Jesus Christ, have mercy ontheir souls.
So here's what gets me.
I'm telling you this is not apretty episode.
This is very raw, but here'swhat gets me.

(04:54):
I wasn't forcing anyone to weara mask, like I wasn't saying to
anyone you've got to wear amask.
I wasn't campaigning in thehallway putting posters up, you
know, or anything like thatabout how masks are the way to
go, or anything like that.
I was just existing quietlywearing something on my face, on

(05:16):
my body, that I paid forbecause I had the fucking flu
and COVID and I don't want tofeel like death again.
Like, call me dramatic, say itagain, call me dramatic, but I
don't really want to go likedeath again.
Like, call me dramatic, say itagain, call me dramatic, but I
don't really want to go throughthat again, you know.
So if the way to have the oddsin my favor of that not

(05:36):
happening again is to wear amask to protect myself, you
better believe that's exactlywhat I'm going to do.
As a matter of fact, I'mthinking of wearing a mask
whenever I travel, possiblywhenever I'm around all these
folks in a small space.
Fact, I'm thinking of wearing amask whenever I travel,
possibly whenever I'm around allthese folks in a small space,
because I thought I was going todie.
It was a horrible feeling tohave the way that I felt and if

(05:58):
you don't know, listen to theprevious episode please, so that
way you know I'm not beingdramatic here I had two viruses
at once in my body, wrecking allsorts of havoc.
It was horrible.
So I had to ask myself, likewhat is it about me taking care
of myself with the things thatI've bought with my own money

(06:21):
that's making these folks souncomfortable?
And I kept turning this over inmy mind and finally today.
That's why I'm making thisepisode because today, after
turning it over for like threedays, it just comes down to this
in my mind my opinion, folks.
I believe that some people makea decision like I will never

(06:44):
wear a mask again.
You know, fuck the fuck themasking, I'll never wear it
again.
And then they see someone whodidn't make that same decision
as them and it forces them toconfront the possibility that
they may have been wrong or atleast that there's another valid
way to move through the worldother than the way that they

(07:04):
chose to do it.
And that discomfort thatthey're feeling is like a bully.
Instead of sitting with it andacknowledging it and going
through the feels of it, theytry to shut you down, belittle
you, be sarcastic about it, saythese unwarranted jokes about it

(07:25):
, because that is easier thansitting with the feeling of
inadequacy or, oh shit, I mayhave made the wrong choice, or
maybe I need to rethink aboutthe choice that I made, you know
, because that's reallyuncomfortable when human beings
have to face the fact that maybethey made a mistake.

(07:46):
And look, I'm not here draggingpeople into clinics.
I'm not mandating what anyoneelse should do.
I'm not invading their rightsor shouting about science in the
hallway.
I'm just doing what I can tostay healthy and prevent harm.
Like I even had a hard timebreathing, guys, you know that's

(08:08):
how bad it was.
Like I really would like toforego this experience, if I can
have it that way.
Right, I would like to foregothat experience ever again.
But still, five comments in oneday, and not a single one of
them was from a woman.
But let me backtrack a littlebit, because I did in fact get a

(08:30):
comment from a woman while wewas in the bathroom, and you
know what the comment was oh no,you're sick.
And when I told her I wasrecovering, she simply took a
step back and let me have awider berth.
And I completely understand it.
She's probably like me.
She don't want to get sick andthen that's it.

(08:50):
She was like I hope you feelbetter.
I was like thank you, that wasit.
Boundaries, respected, space,given no judgment, or if she had
any, she kept it to herself.
Why can it be all that simple?
Y'all Like why?
Why can it just all that simple?

(09:12):
Y'all Like why?
Why can't it just be thatsimple?
You see somebody like making achoice for themselves, for their
bodies, that causes no harm toyou.
You know why can't you just letit go?
But that's not what happened.
No, and what hurt wasn't justthe comments.
It was a reminder of how peopletreat difference.

(09:35):
The mask on my face just becamea trigger, not because it
affected them, but because itreminded them that they had a
choice and that someone elsemade a different one and instead
of respecting that, they triedto erase it.
And I know this is deeper thana mask.
I know for a fact this goes waydeeper than a mask.

(09:56):
It's about control, it's aboutautonomy, it's about how
uncomfortable some people getwhen someone dares to live
outside of their norm, when yousay no, thank you, to peer
pressure or conformity orwhatever other toxic
quote-unquote normal they'veinternalized.

(10:16):
So here's what 43 has taught mewhen it comes to this Other
people's discomfort is not myresponsibility.
If wearing a mask makes you feelall sorts of weird inside,
that's your feeling.
To unpack, that's not myfeeling.
If seeing me set a boundary ormaking a different choice shakes

(10:42):
something loose in you, good,let it.
That's an invitation for you togrow, for you to inspect that
feeling if you so choose to, ortotally ignore it and go about
your life.
But what I will not do is Iwill not shrink to ease your

(11:11):
unease Not anymore.
Because every time I listen tomy body, every time I honor what
I need, I am practicingsomething bigger than health.
I am practicing sovereignty,and I think we all deserve that
kind of self-respect.
So here's my call to action toyou all.
If you've ever been mocked orquestioned for setting a
boundary and taking a precautionor simply choosing you, just

(11:31):
know you're not alone.
Keep doing what works for you.
Let them deal with theirdiscomfort.
And if you're someone who findsyourself reacting to someone
else's choice, I want you totake a pause.
Ask yourself what's reallybeing triggered here, because it
might not be about them.

(11:51):
It might be about what youhaven't admitted to yourself.
And, as always, vacitos, thankyou so much for listening to my
rant today.
Today, my reflection andrevelation this August, in this

(12:12):
entire year as a 43-year-old hasbeen full of insights, but this
one right here, as you can tell, as you can hear from my voice,
this one hit deep.
But, as always, if this episoderesonated with you, I'd love
for you to share it.
And don't forget about my novelthat's coming up in November.
It's called the Ordinary Brujaand it's now available for
pre-order.
All ebooks are 50% off.

(12:32):
I encourage you to check it out, pre-order it or send it to
somebody who you know would lovesuch a book.
This is a story about reclaimingyour voice, just like I did
here, confronting the ghosts ofyour past and stepping fully
into your power the same thingthat we're trying to do here,
one episode at a time, and youcan pre-order it now on my

(12:54):
website, and I'll have that linkin the show note.
But whatever you do, let's keephonoring ourselves.
One mask, one choice, one cupat a time.
Until next time, stay sovereign, stay soft and, as always, I
hope to see you here so we canhave another cup.

(13:16):
Bye.
If today's episode spoke to you.
Share it with somebody who'sfinding their way back too, and,
if you haven't yet, visithaveacupofjoanniecom for more
stories, blog posts and thebooks that started it all.
Thank you for being here.

(13:36):
Until next time, be soft, bebold and always have a cup of
joannie.