August 13, 2025 • 15 mins
Have you ever ignored the quiet signs your body was sending until it had to scream to get your attention?
In this raw and reflective episode, I share what getting hit with both COVID and the flu taught me about self-trust, resistance, and listening to the whispers before they become breakdowns. From tracking my symptoms to unlearning the lie that pushing through is strength, I open up about the ways we gaslight our own bodies, and what it looks like to stop.
This is an invitation to tune in, slow down, and honor your needs without apology.
Listen now and reclaim the radical act of listening to yourself.
Preorder my upcoming novel, The Ordinary Bruja, a story about identity, ancestral power, and the journey back to self. Available now at https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/
If today’s episode hit you in the chest the way it hit me, don’t just walk away—walk toward something that reflects you.
Subscribe to the podcast, hit that YouTube channel for the behind-the-scenes, and if you’re ready to read a story about what it really means to come home to yourself—
👉🏽 Preorder The Ordinary Bruja.
https://haveacupofjohanny.com/product/the-ordinary-bruja-book-one-of-las-cerradoras-series-j-e-ortega/
It’s about a Dominican-American bruja who’s been running from herself her whole life until ancestral magic, generational wounds, and a haunted-ass hill force her to face the truth.
If you’ve ever felt “too much,” “not enough,” or like you don’t fit anywhere, you’re exactly who this story was written for.
🎙️ Subscribe.
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Because becoming who you are is the bravest kind of magic.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome back to have a Cup ofJohnny.
This season isn't abouthustling harder.
It's about coming home toyourself, to your voice, to your
breath, to the quiet truth thatyou're still here and you're
not starting over.
You're starting again.
(00:22):
This is your space to reflect,reset and remember who we tell
you are.
So pour your cafecito and let'sbegin.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of the
have a Couple Johnny podcast,where we unpack growth, identity
(00:46):
and everything in between, onesip at a time.
Of course, this August I amtalking you through some of the
biggest lessons I've learned at43.
And today's episode is apersonal one, and a very recent
personal one.
It's called she Whispers Beforeshe Screams.
(01:07):
Oh, and we're about to be inHalloween season.
All right now.
This year has taught me anythingis that our bodies are not
trying to betray us.
They really are not.
They're trying to speak to us.
The question here is are welistening?
Are you ready for this?
(01:29):
Of course you are.
Let's go.
So let's talk about being sick.
Not the sniffles, that's notwhat I'm talking about here, not
the I'll be fine tomorrow kindof sick.
Me voy a poner el vivaporuitoeso.
I mean the kind of sick whereyour body is shutting down and
(01:49):
you're still second-guessingyourself.
Yeah, that kind of sick.
That happened to me veryrecently.
I felt awful Cold, achy, dizzy,horrible chills, exhausted in a
way that deep sleep couldn'teven fix it.
(02:10):
I took a COVID and flu test thatwon the three-in-one test where
it has COVID and type A andtype B flu.
I took that at home.
Guess what?
It was negative, but somethingdidn't feel right.
You know, I'm like.
I noted the symptoms, I jottedthem down, I knew something was
(02:35):
not right, but here was thistest in front of me telling me
that it was negative.
The control line was there, butnothing else, you know.
So I hesitated because there'sa voice in my head, planted
there by years of needing to bestrong, needing to be productive
(02:55):
, needing to be grateful thatwhispers, don't be a baby, don't
make a big deal out of nothing,you're probably fine.
And that voice honestly, nearlyconvinced, still feeling like
crap, feeling okay only becauseI was satisfying the symptoms
(03:35):
with Tylenol.
Took a second three-in-one testat home Control line was there,
but nothing else, still negative, and I wanted to stay home.
I wanted to stay home, so bad,and then just work through it
and probably go to work the nextday and be like well, I was a
(04:00):
negative, you know, even thoughI still felt like crap.
I still felt sick, ill,abnormally exhausted, and I knew
, I knew that what my instinctwas, what it always has been,
which is toughen it out, don'tbe a baby.
But I took a look at my notesapp on my phone because I had
(04:24):
written every symptom down and Iremember vividly.
I was like Joy, you're notgoing crazy, you're not going
crazy, you are feeling this.
And I think that's what it took, because I went downstairs and
(04:44):
I told my husband I want you totake me to the ER.
And, sure enough, I go to theER.
We spent some time registering.
You know, ers are you're therefor a little bit, you're there
(05:04):
for a little bit.
So I also wasn't looking forwardto that either, but I go
through it and even there I'mstill second guessing myself.
I'm like should I even do this?
You know, am I taking a spotfor somebody that is probably
sicker than me?
But I stick it out.
When they take me in the tech,it's like, well, we're going to
give.
Well, we're going to give you atest.
And I'm like, well, I took twoand they were negative.
(05:25):
And then she's like you know,then they'll go and tap into
something else.
Because I told her I was like Igave her all my symptoms, I'm
like I know I'm not going crazy,you know I'm feeling all of
(05:48):
this and sure enough, you know,it takes a few minutes, like 15
to 20 minutes, and then thedoctor walks through and she's
like well, you have COVID andyou have flu type A.
And I just looked at her I waslike, okay, so I wasn't being
dramatic, I wasn't being weak, Iwas in fact sick and my body
(06:14):
had been trying to tell me thatfrom the start.
And that moment crackedsomething open for me.
You know how many times have Idismissed myself, how often have
I taught my body that it needsto scream before I listen to it?
And that's what saddens me themost.
(06:37):
And I'm learning to change that, to tune into the whispers, the
tension in my shoulders, theknot in my stomach, the too
frequent sighs, the craving ofstillness, because our bodies,
they always speak to us, butwhen we ignore them, they raise
(06:59):
the volume and eventually theywill scream through illness,
through shutdown, like whathappened to me, through collapse
, and then we're forced tolisten, but by then it's so much
harder to repair what has beenpushed too far.
(07:37):
And, like I told you all in thefirst episode here for this
theme in August, the lessonsI've learned in my year being
the day I had to go back to mycore habits that I used to
accomplish in the morningsbefore I even got to work,
because that just sets myself upand it sets my day to be a
(07:59):
smoother day.
It's not always going to be agood day and I'm okay with that,
but when I do these habits, Iam prepared to take on whatever
comes my way.
So I took them back upjournaling, being grateful,
tracking my water consumption,tracking my meals, moving,
(08:20):
fitness you know, gonna add thelifting weights again in there,
you see, and these are thingsthat I need that work.
For me it's not an obsessivething, right to do, but it's
what I need to function right,you see.
(08:41):
So it's like I've already donethe experiments over and over
again on what is my best routineand this is it.
But because life has been lifing, I went like three months
without able to do my morningroutine and just basically
winging it me out of thatgrounding thing that I have
(09:05):
really worked into my day.
That just made things so muchmore easy, you know, so much
easier for me in the morningsand when I let go of that, like
a lot of things came crashingdown.
So now that I'm picking it backup again and not just revving
(09:26):
it up I've already revved it upbut I'm trying not to institute
it in the same rhythm as it wasbefore, so that way it's more
normalized into my schedule onceagain.
So that way the results of thatgrounding, that peacefulness,
that preparation, thatconfidence of taking on the day
(09:47):
goes back in there in my daysand that's what I need.
So that way I can integrate,listening to my body once again.
Because all of this isconnected again, because it's
(10:09):
all of this is connected.
You know, when I let go of thehabits that keep me healthy, not
just physically, but you knowmind, body and soul right, all
three, then it's no, no surprisereally that then there are
other things that are going tofalter.
And I'm not saying that if Iwouldn't have kept up my habits
right, that I wouldn't havegotten sick.
(10:29):
I think I would have caught itearlier on.
You know that I was gettingsick and it wouldn't have been
this bad this time around if Iwould have maintained my habits
and continued on with thatrhythm, because part of my
habits is meditation, where I do10 minutes of stillness where I
(10:53):
just tune in to my body.
But because of the recent movesand changes and family
structures that occurred familystructures that occurred I went
three months without that andthat now I can see it's not good
(11:13):
for me, you see.
So that's what I'm saying fromepisode one now to episode two,
as I continue on in once againsustaining and building momentum
, and maintaining that momentumwhen it comes to my core habits
and listening to my body.
Now I think it will paydividends once again into my
(11:37):
body and soul and how I live mylife.
And, like I said, themindfulness is one of my core
habits that I know for sure canhelp me into tuning in.
But also the journaling isanother habit that can help me
to note the differences that arehappening.
(12:02):
You know, how does my bodyrespond to certain foods?
How do I feel when I don'tsleep well, what happens when I
skip the gym or movement orforce too much of it, you know.
So these two habits are kind oflike pillars when it comes to
tuning in to my body, meditationand journaling.
(12:25):
So I started to treat myself theway I treat the people that I
love, and that is with care,with observation, with patience,
and you know what that isslowly changing things in my
life.
So I want to tell you, like ifyou've been brushing off that
headache, that exhaustion, thatfeeling that something's off, I
(12:49):
want you to listen to it.
Your body isn't weak forneeding rest.
It's wise for asking it andmaybe, like me, you're learning
that self-trust begins in thebody, not in what other people
think, not in the test results,but in the knowing that
something needs care and givingit that care without delay.
(13:13):
So I want to thank you all forlistening to, once again, this
short episode and the have a Cupof Johnny podcast.
I want to thank you for holdingspace and for walking this path
with me.
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with
someone who needs a reminder toslow down and listen to
themselves.
(13:34):
Next week we're diving into abig one.
Boundaries All right, bacitos, Iknow I said boundaries, but
here I am letting you know thatit's still boundaries, okay, but
it changed slightly toboundaries that have to do with
wearing a mask and going back towork and having people say all
(13:56):
these audacious comments thathave nothing to do with me and
everything to do with them, andthe lessons that I gained from
being there in the moment,hearing all these comments and,
of course, responding to eachand every one of them with the
same energy they gave me.
So that will be the nextepisode that you'll be hearing
(14:18):
from me, and I can't wait foryou to hear it.
It's a funny one.
Until then, stay gentle, staygrounded and, as always, don't
forget to have a cup of JohnnyBye.
If today's episode spoke to you, share with somebody who's
finding their way back too, andif you haven't yet, visit
(14:41):
haveacupofjoanniecom for morestories, blog posts and the
books that started it all.
Thank you for being here.
Until next time, be soft, bebold and always have a cup of
joannie.
Oh we could, we could fly.
Welcome back to have a Cup ofJohnny.
This season isn't abouthustling harder.
It's about coming home toyourself, to your voice, to your
breath, to the quiet truth thatyou're still here and you're
not starting over.
You're starting again.
(00:22):
This is your space to reflect,reset and remember who we tell
you are.
So pour your cafecito and let'sbegin.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of the
have a Couple Johnny podcast,where we unpack growth, identity
(00:46):
and everything in between, onesip at a time.
Of course, this August I amtalking you through some of the
biggest lessons I've learned at43.
And today's episode is apersonal one, and a very recent
personal one.
It's called she Whispers Beforeshe Screams.
(01:07):
Oh, and we're about to be inHalloween season.
All right now.
This year has taught me anythingis that our bodies are not
trying to betray us.
They really are not.
They're trying to speak to us.
The question here is are welistening?
Are you ready for this?
(01:29):
Of course you are.
Let's go.
So let's talk about being sick.
Not the sniffles, that's notwhat I'm talking about here, not
the I'll be fine tomorrow kindof sick.
Me voy a poner el vivaporuitoeso.
I mean the kind of sick whereyour body is shutting down and
(01:49):
you're still second-guessingyourself.
Yeah, that kind of sick.
That happened to me veryrecently.
I felt awful Cold, achy, dizzy,horrible chills, exhausted in a
way that deep sleep couldn'teven fix it.
(02:10):
I took a COVID and flu test thatwon the three-in-one test where
it has COVID and type A andtype B flu.
I took that at home.
Guess what?
It was negative, but somethingdidn't feel right.
You know, I'm like.
I noted the symptoms, I jottedthem down, I knew something was
(02:35):
not right, but here was thistest in front of me telling me
that it was negative.
The control line was there, butnothing else, you know.
So I hesitated because there'sa voice in my head, planted
there by years of needing to bestrong, needing to be productive
(02:55):
, needing to be grateful thatwhispers, don't be a baby, don't
make a big deal out of nothing,you're probably fine.
And that voice honestly, nearlyconvinced, still feeling like
crap, feeling okay only becauseI was satisfying the symptoms
(03:35):
with Tylenol.
Took a second three-in-one testat home Control line was there,
but nothing else, still negative, and I wanted to stay home.
I wanted to stay home, so bad,and then just work through it
and probably go to work the nextday and be like well, I was a
(04:00):
negative, you know, even thoughI still felt like crap.
I still felt sick, ill,abnormally exhausted, and I knew
, I knew that what my instinctwas, what it always has been,
which is toughen it out, don'tbe a baby.
But I took a look at my notesapp on my phone because I had
(04:24):
written every symptom down and Iremember vividly.
I was like Joy, you're notgoing crazy, you're not going
crazy, you are feeling this.
And I think that's what it took, because I went downstairs and
(04:44):
I told my husband I want you totake me to the ER.
And, sure enough, I go to theER.
We spent some time registering.
You know, ers are you're therefor a little bit, you're there
(05:04):
for a little bit.
So I also wasn't looking forwardto that either, but I go
through it and even there I'mstill second guessing myself.
I'm like should I even do this?
You know, am I taking a spotfor somebody that is probably
sicker than me?
But I stick it out.
When they take me in the tech,it's like, well, we're going to
give.
Well, we're going to give you atest.
And I'm like, well, I took twoand they were negative.
(05:25):
And then she's like you know,then they'll go and tap into
something else.
Because I told her I was like Igave her all my symptoms, I'm
like I know I'm not going crazy,you know I'm feeling all of
(05:48):
this and sure enough, you know,it takes a few minutes, like 15
to 20 minutes, and then thedoctor walks through and she's
like well, you have COVID andyou have flu type A.
And I just looked at her I waslike, okay, so I wasn't being
dramatic, I wasn't being weak, Iwas in fact sick and my body
(06:14):
had been trying to tell me thatfrom the start.
And that moment crackedsomething open for me.
You know how many times have Idismissed myself, how often have
I taught my body that it needsto scream before I listen to it?
And that's what saddens me themost.
(06:37):
And I'm learning to change that, to tune into the whispers, the
tension in my shoulders, theknot in my stomach, the too
frequent sighs, the craving ofstillness, because our bodies,
they always speak to us, butwhen we ignore them, they raise
(06:59):
the volume and eventually theywill scream through illness,
through shutdown, like whathappened to me, through collapse
, and then we're forced tolisten, but by then it's so much
harder to repair what has beenpushed too far.
(07:37):
And, like I told you all in thefirst episode here for this
theme in August, the lessonsI've learned in my year being
the day I had to go back to mycore habits that I used to
accomplish in the morningsbefore I even got to work,
because that just sets myself upand it sets my day to be a
(07:59):
smoother day.
It's not always going to be agood day and I'm okay with that,
but when I do these habits, Iam prepared to take on whatever
comes my way.
So I took them back upjournaling, being grateful,
tracking my water consumption,tracking my meals, moving,
(08:20):
fitness you know, gonna add thelifting weights again in there,
you see, and these are thingsthat I need that work.
For me it's not an obsessivething, right to do, but it's
what I need to function right,you see.
(08:41):
So it's like I've already donethe experiments over and over
again on what is my best routineand this is it.
But because life has been lifing, I went like three months
without able to do my morningroutine and just basically
winging it me out of thatgrounding thing that I have
(09:05):
really worked into my day.
That just made things so muchmore easy, you know, so much
easier for me in the morningsand when I let go of that, like
a lot of things came crashingdown.
So now that I'm picking it backup again and not just revving
(09:26):
it up I've already revved it upbut I'm trying not to institute
it in the same rhythm as it wasbefore, so that way it's more
normalized into my schedule onceagain.
So that way the results of thatgrounding, that peacefulness,
that preparation, thatconfidence of taking on the day
(09:47):
goes back in there in my daysand that's what I need.
So that way I can integrate,listening to my body once again.
Because all of this isconnected again, because it's
(10:09):
all of this is connected.
You know, when I let go of thehabits that keep me healthy, not
just physically, but you knowmind, body and soul right, all
three, then it's no, no surprisereally that then there are
other things that are going tofalter.
And I'm not saying that if Iwouldn't have kept up my habits
right, that I wouldn't havegotten sick.
(10:29):
I think I would have caught itearlier on.
You know that I was gettingsick and it wouldn't have been
this bad this time around if Iwould have maintained my habits
and continued on with thatrhythm, because part of my
habits is meditation, where I do10 minutes of stillness where I
(10:53):
just tune in to my body.
But because of the recent movesand changes and family
structures that occurred familystructures that occurred I went
three months without that andthat now I can see it's not good
(11:13):
for me, you see.
So that's what I'm saying fromepisode one now to episode two,
as I continue on in once againsustaining and building momentum
, and maintaining that momentumwhen it comes to my core habits
and listening to my body.
Now I think it will paydividends once again into my
(11:37):
body and soul and how I live mylife.
And, like I said, themindfulness is one of my core
habits that I know for sure canhelp me into tuning in.
But also the journaling isanother habit that can help me
to note the differences that arehappening.
(12:02):
You know, how does my bodyrespond to certain foods?
How do I feel when I don'tsleep well, what happens when I
skip the gym or movement orforce too much of it, you know.
So these two habits are kind oflike pillars when it comes to
tuning in to my body, meditationand journaling.
(12:25):
So I started to treat myself theway I treat the people that I
love, and that is with care,with observation, with patience,
and you know what that isslowly changing things in my
life.
So I want to tell you, like ifyou've been brushing off that
headache, that exhaustion, thatfeeling that something's off, I
(12:49):
want you to listen to it.
Your body isn't weak forneeding rest.
It's wise for asking it andmaybe, like me, you're learning
that self-trust begins in thebody, not in what other people
think, not in the test results,but in the knowing that
something needs care and givingit that care without delay.
(13:13):
So I want to thank you all forlistening to, once again, this
short episode and the have a Cupof Johnny podcast.
I want to thank you for holdingspace and for walking this path
with me.
If this episode resonated withyou, please share it with
someone who needs a reminder toslow down and listen to
themselves.
(13:34):
Next week we're diving into abig one.
Boundaries All right, bacitos, Iknow I said boundaries, but
here I am letting you know thatit's still boundaries, okay, but
it changed slightly toboundaries that have to do with
wearing a mask and going back towork and having people say all
(13:56):
these audacious comments thathave nothing to do with me and
everything to do with them, andthe lessons that I gained from
being there in the moment,hearing all these comments and,
of course, responding to eachand every one of them with the
same energy they gave me.
So that will be the nextepisode that you'll be hearing
(14:18):
from me, and I can't wait foryou to hear it.
It's a funny one.
Until then, stay gentle, staygrounded and, as always, don't
forget to have a cup of JohnnyBye.
If today's episode spoke to you, share with somebody who's
finding their way back too, andif you haven't yet, visit
(14:41):
haveacupofjoanniecom for morestories, blog posts and the
books that started it all.
Thank you for being here.
Until next time, be soft, bebold and always have a cup of
joannie.
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